Evening Star Newspaper, December 15, 1929, Page 107

THE SUNDAY STAR, WASHINGTON, D. C., DECEMBER 15, 1929. -— e to say you can’t hiss a word that hasn't an s in it. The way he pushed out that “You!” sound- ed like an angry cobra. “Come in here,” he said, lugging me into the room. “We don’t want to wake the whole house. Now,"” he said, depositing me on the carpet and closing the door, and doing a bit of eyebrow work, “kindly inform me what is this latest manifestation of insanity?” It seemed to me that a light and cheery laugh might help. So I had a pop at one. “Don’t gibber!” said my genial host. And I'm bound to admit that the light and cheery hadn’t come out quite as I'd intended. I pulled myself together with a strong effort. “Awfully sorry about all this,” I said in a hearty sort of voice. “The fact is, I thought you were Tuppy.” “Kindly refrain from inflicting your idiotic slang on me. What do,you mean by the zab- Jective tuppy?” “It isn't so much an adjective, don't you know. More of a noun, I should think, if you examine it squarely. What I mean to say is, I thought you were your nephew.” “You thought I was my nephew? should I be my nephew?” “What I'm driving at is, I thought this was his room.” L “My nephew and I changed rooms. I have a great dislike for sleeping on an upper floor. I am nervous about fire.” ‘Why OR the first time since this interview had started, I braced up a trifle. I lost that sense of being a toad under the harrow which had been cramping my style up till now. I even went so far as to eye this poltroon with a good deal of contempt and loathing. Just be- cause he had this craven fear of fire and this selfish preference for letting Tuppy be cooked instead of himself, should the emergency occur, my nicely reasoned plans had gone up the spout. I gave him a look, and I think I may even have snorted a bit. “I should have thought that your man-serv. ant would have informed you,” said Sir Roder- ick, “that we contemplated making this change. I met him shortly before luncheon and told him to tell you.” “You told Jeeves that you were going to sleep in this room?” I gasped. “I did. I was aware that you and my nephew were on terms of intimacy, and I wished to spare myself the possibility of a visit from you. I confess that it never occurred to me that such a visit was to be anticipated at 3 o’clock in the morning. What do you mean,” he barked, suddenly hotting up, “by prowling about the house at this hour? And what is that thing in your hand?” I looked down, and found that I was still grasping the stick. I give you my honest word that, what with the maelstrom of emotions into which his revelation about Jeeves had cast me, the discovery came as an absolute surprise. “This?” I said. “Oh, yes.” “What do you mean, oh yes? What is it?” “It’s this way: I will ask you to picture me some weeks ago, perfectly peaceful and inoffen- sive, after dinner at the Drones, smoking a thoughtful cigarette and——" I broke off. The man wasn't listening. He was goggling in a rapt sort of way at the end of the bed, from which there had now begun to drip on to the carpet a series of drops. “Good heavens!” “—thoughtful cigarette and chatting pleas- antly of this and that—" I broke off again. He had lifted the sheets and was gazing at the corpse of the hot-water botile. “Did you do this?” he said in a low, strangled sort of volce. “Er—yes. As a matter of fact, yes. Just going to tell you——" “And your aunt tried to persuade me that you wete not insane!” “I'm not. Absolutely not. me cxplain—-" “I will do nothing of the kind.” “It all began——" “Silence!” He did some deep-breathing exercises. “My bed is drenched!” “The way it all began—" “Be quiet!” He heaved somewhat for a while, “yYou idiot,” he said, “kindly inform me which bedroom you are supposed to be occupying.” “It's on the floor above. The clock room.” “Thank you. I will find it.” “Eh?” He gave me the eyebrow. “I propose,” he said, “to pass the remainder of the night in your room, where, I presume, thers is a bed in a condition to be slept in. You may bestow yourself as comfortably as you can here. I will wish you good night.” Well, we Woosters are old campaigners. We can take the rough with the smooth. But to say that I liked the prospect now befcre me would be paltering with the truth. One glance at the bed told me that any idea of sleeping there was out. A goldfish could have done it, but not Bertram. After a bit of a look around, I decided that the best chance of getting a sort of night's rest was to doze as well as I could in the srmchair. I pinched a couple of pillows off the bed, shoved the hearth rug over my kneecs, and sat down and started counting sheep. I was If you'll just let UT it wasn't any good. This hideous revela- tion of the blackness of Jeeves' treachery kept coming back to me every time I nearly succeeded in dropping off. I was just wonder- ing if I would ever get to sleep again in this world, when a voice at my elbow said, “Good morning, sir,” and I sat up with a jerk, I could have sworn I hadn’t so much as dozed off for even a minute, but apparently I had. For the curtains were drawn back and daylight was coming in through the window, and there was Jeeves with a cup of tea on a tray. “Merry Christmas, sir!” I reached out a feeble hand for the restoring brew. I swalloweé a mouthful or two, and felt a little better, I was aching in every limb, and the dome felt like lead, but I was now able to think with a certain amount of clearness, and I fixed the man with a stony eye and prepared to let him have it. “You think so, do you?” I said. “Much, let My hostess, Lady Wickham, was a beaky female, but daughter Roberta had welcomed me with a warmth which, I am bound to say, had set the old heartstrings fluttering a bit. me tell you, depends on what you mean by the adjective merry. If, moreover, you suppose that it is going to be merry for you, correct that impression, Jeeves,” I said, taking another half-oz of tea and speaking in a cold, measured voice, “I wish to ask you one question. Did you or did you not know that Sir Roderick Glossop was sleeping in this room last night?” “Yes, sir.” “Jeeves——" “If you will allow me to explain, sir.” “Explain!” - “I was aware that my silence might lead to something in the nature of an embarrassing contretemps, sir——" “You thought that, did you?” “Yes, sir.” “You were a good guesser,” I said, “But it seemed to me, sir, that whatever might occur was all for the best.” I would have put in a crisp word or two here, but he carried on without giving me the opp. “I thought that possibly, on reflection, sir, your views being what they are, you would pre- fer your relations with Sir Roderick Glossop :;1? his family to be distant rather than cor- al.” “My views! What do you mean, my views?” “As regards a matrimonial alliance with Miss Honoria Glossop, sir.” Something like an electric shock seemed to zip through me. The man had opened up a new line of thought. I suddenly saw what he was driving at, and realized all in a flash that I had been wronging this faithful fellow. All the while I supposed he had been landing me in the soup, he had really been steering me away from it. It was like those stories one used to read, as a kid, about the traveler going along on a dark night, and his dog grabs him by the leg of his trousers, and he says “Down, sir! What are you doing, Rover?” And the dog hangs on, and he gets rather hot under the .collar and curses a bit, but the dog won't let him go, and then suddenly the moon shines through the clouds and he finds he’s been standing on the edge of a precipice and one more step would have—well, anyway, you get the idea. And what I'm driving at is that much the same thing seemed to have been happening now. I give you my honest word, it had never struck me till this moment that my Aunt Aga- tha had been scheming to get me in right with Sir Roderick so that I should eventually be re- ceived back into the fold, if you see what I mean, and subsequently pushed off on Honoria, “My word, Jeeves!” I said, paling. Acid in Grass Kills Animals. HYDROCYANIC ACID, one of the deadliest of poisons known to man, has been found in small quantities in arrow grass in four States, Nebraska, Utah, Wyoming and Nevada. The quantity of the acid is small, yet it is present in sufficient strength to have caused rather serious casualties among cattle and sheep which have eaten of it in too great quantity. The grass, sometimes called goose grass or sour grass, was first observed in salt marshes along the coast, but was found later inland in salty or alkaline spots near rivers and lakes. Arrow grass is a perennial grass, its height varying from 6 inches to 2!, feet. The leaves are long, slender and green, rising from a sheathed base. The flower spikes are slender and naked and the small blossoms are greenish and inconspicuous. Animals eating of the grass meet death with such rapidity that there is little effect on the organs. This quick effectiveness of the poison operates to the benefit of those animals which are fortunate enough to recover, as they have no after-effects, once they are rid of the poison. The symptoms of the poisoning are apparent from the start. There is a restlessness, indi- cating discomfort, accompanied by a rapid pulse and respiration, with little fever. These symp- toms are quickly followed by staggering, pros- tration and then eoma. The effect of the poison is so rapid that there is little time for the administration of antidotes. Hearing You Speak. BY HELENE MULLINS. Hearing you speak so casually today Of one whom long ago you loved, who seemed As now I seem to you, I looked away, And for a full and awful moment dreamed That Time already, with its deafening drums, Had marched between us, that in some far place You praised me carelessly, as one throws crumbs To birds, and in dismay I hid my face. Yet to this hour I amn on earth to sing, That have in no wise labored to survive The loss of one possession and another ; Wherefore I know the passing months can smother The wildest grief, the heart will be alive In Spring, that was all Winter perishing. “Precisely, sir.” “You think there was a risk?” “I do, sir. A very grave risk.” A disturbing thought struck me. ¢¢RUT, Jeeves, on calm"reflection, won't Sir Roderick have gathered by now that my objective was young Tuppy, and that punctur- ing his hot-water bottle was just one of those things that occur when the Yuletide spirit is abroad—one of those things that have to be overlooked and taken with the indulgent smilé and the fatherly shake of the head? What I meaxtxe !.s.h ir:'n realize that I wasn't trying to snooter , and then all the good wi have been wasted.” v s “No, sir. I fancy not. That might ib! have been Sir Roderick’s mental r:acug:,“ h:g it not been for the second incident.” “The second incident?” “During the night, sir, while Sir Roderick was occupying your bed, somebody entered the room, pierced his hot-water bottle with some sharp instrument, and vanished in the dark- “What! Do you think I walked in my sleep?” “No, sir. It was young Mr. Glossop who did it. I encountered him this morning, sir, short- ly before I came here. He was in cheerful spirits; and inquired of me how you were feel- ing about the incident—not being aware that his victim has been Sir Roderick.” "g;xto Jeeves, what an amazing coincidence!” “Why, young Tuppy getting exactly the same idea as I did. Or, rather, as Miss Wickham did. You can't say that's not a miracle.” “Not altogether, sir. It appears that he re- ceived the suggestion from her.” “From Miss Wickham?” “Yes, sir.” “You mean to say that, after she had put me up to the scheme of puncturing Tuppy’s hot-water bottle, she went off and tipped Tup- py off to puncturing mine?” “Precisely, sir. She is a young lady with a keen sense of humor, sir.” I raised the hand. “Say no more, Jeeves,” I replied. dead.” I brooded for a while. “You've seen Sir Roderick this morning?™ ot (W “How did “he seem?” ‘A little emotional, sir. He expressed a ] desire to meet you, sir.” - T “What would you advise?” “If ‘you were to slip out by the back entrance, sir, it would be possible for you to make your way across the fleld without being observed, and reach the village, where you could hire an automobile to take you to London. I could bring on your effects later in your own car.” “But London, Jeeves? Is any man safe? My Aunt Agatha is in London.” He regarded me for a moment with a fathom- less eye. “I think the best plan, sir, would be for you to leave England, which is not pleasant at this time of the year, for some little while. I would not take the liberty of dictating your move= ments, sir, but, as you already have accommo= dation engaged on the Blue train for Monte Carlo for the day after tomorrow——" “But you canceled the booking?” “No, sir.” “I told you to.” “Yes, sir. It was remiss of me, but the mat- ter slipped my mind.” “Oh?” wyw A" “All right, Jeeves. Monte Carlo, ho, then,” “Very good, sir.” “It’s lucky, as things have turned out, that you forgot to cancel that booking.” “Very fortunate, indeed, sir, If you will wait lwre.nr.lwmret-umtoyourroommdpm- cure a suit of clothes.” (Copyright, 1929.) . “Love 1s