Evening Star Newspaper, November 10, 1929, Page 104

1 TSR .| R P T THE "SUNDAY 'STAR, WASHINGTON, D. C., NOVEMBER 16, 1929. Here Are Some New Rules of Etiquette The woman who used to wait home for afternoon callers now goes out calling, “Fore!” ¢ HECK, please.” The smartly-dressed woman winked at her male companion, hummed the strain of a popular melody, lighted a cigarette and called the waiter—thereby breaking more rules of old-fashicned behavior than there oncz were forks in the silver service. A few years ago such conduct would have horrified any socially correct person in the din- ing room. But it caused hardly a ripple of excitement and the young man stopped to light his cigar while the fair lady hailed a taxi. For the rules of stylish procedure, from teaing to tippling, from spooning to spanking, have outstepped the bounds of the once stilted “pook of etiquette” and become more simple and practicable. Habits once considered bad and to be avoided are now being accepted into the by-laws of society in the same manner as slang is being indorsed by the dictionary. Not that it has become permissible to cool one’s coffee in a saucer by deftly blowing across its exposed surface or to “dunk” one's doughnut in the liquid refreshments of one’s choice, but it is possible now to enjoy a dish of corned beef and cabbage in the open without fear of social ostracization. Neither have we discarded the reasonable politeness of tipping one’s hat to a lady—if one wears a hat—nor the routine of introductions, gentleman to lady, nor the “bread and butter” card, 18-day diets to the contrary notwith- standing. What gentleman dared, 10 years ago, to light a cigarette without first remarking to the lady present: “Do you mind?” Today, pray, what gentleman dare put forth a “lean” package of fags? He will possibly surrender most of them and suffer a criticism of his favorite brand in the bargain. IN THE earlier days of dining, when the Astors were in flower. men discussed the weighty affairs of the nation and the universe while ladies hid behind their fans. Dinner at an end, the ladies retired, leaving the gentlemen to their wine, smokes, coffee, cognac and Pullman car stories. Today smoking starts with the cocktail and continues throughout the courses. Pleasant discussion with all genders participating is con- tinuous. The man who has discovered a new bootlegger finds his wits matched by the house- wife who has found a new way of making gin. Laughter may be indulged in within the reservation of thin-walled apartments. Tricks with matches, knives, forks, odd pocket trinkets and mechanical magic appliances may be per- formed for the entertainment of all and dinner has become a boon to humanity rather than the ordeal it once scemed. ‘There is even a movement afoot to eliminate the after-dinner speaker. Men wear hats in business elevators to ab- . stain from elbowing companions. . Ladies exit from taxies, busses, street cars and subways first or last, according to juxtaposition with the door, and thus allow others to alight at the desired stop. A lady may be seen in a cigar store and even “gpeakeasy” barrooms without stcpping traffic and may outtalk a barber to the edification of the male occupants of adjoining chairs, 'HE formal introduction has been battered into submission by the younger set, en- gagements and marriages have increased their place to lose most of their dreary aspect and social gatherings have dropped the tortures of an inquisiticn and become delightful, informal meetings. Consider the formal introduction. There was & time, not many years ago, when it was almost necessary to be born into a family to know all of its members and even that procedure took several years. A young man then was properly introduced to father by a club friend of 40 years’ standing. After being allowed to settle for a few days or weeks, he was inspected by mother, uncle and auntie while his family history was under rigid investigation, If he passed a grade of 98 in the social questionnaire and didn’t drink, smoke or chew, he met daughter several weeks later. What consternation would occur in a staid old New England family in the gay ‘90s if the following ‘modern and quite possible conversa-. tion took place after dinner: s Pather: “Where are you going tonight, daugh- : “Al's taking me to see ‘Sisters in : “It's very badly done. Who {3 this It’s All Right Now for a Girl to Invite a Boy Friend Out to Dine, Paying for Food, Theater Tickets and Taxi, and You Can Get by With Anything in Polite Soctety Circles, Just So You Don’t Dunk Your Doughnuts Nor Drink Coffec Out of a Saucer. Daughter: “I don't remember his last name. I met him last night.” For the modern axioms of conduct do not condemn the use of Christian names shortly after the first meeting. “Just call me Bill” is the rule that pre-ripens acquaintanceship. A gentleman of today calls a young lady with whom he has shortly become acquainted and asks, “What are you doing tonight?” In the old days this would have been a bit of presumption, but today it is commonly prac- ticed when making an engagement over the telephone. If the young man has made a fa- “There was even a movement on foot to eliminate the after-dinner speaker.” vorable impression, the answer, like as not, will be “nothing” and the result—something. If the scene be a large city the young man may remark, with little fear of incurring dis- pleasure, “Well, hop into a taxi and meet me in front of Oscar’s in 30 minutes.” No doubt the young lady will mash a sport hat on her head, hail a taxi, powder her nose en route and be there in 30 minutes—possibly paying the taxi fare. UAINT old-fashioned customs such as pay- ing Willle a nickel to get an ice cream cone. and waiting in the front parlor while the family inspects thrcugh the dining room cur- tains, are gone forever. The girls are ready when called for these days and the business of “courting,” “spooning,” “petting” or “neck- ing”—as the ages will have it—is all over when the trip home is completed. As the pace of life—in transportation, cook- ing, eating, dressing and even sleeping—has become faster, the frilis between courtship, en- gagement and matrimony have eliminated themselves. The bashful “beau” who sat at a safe distance on the horsehair sofa with the family album in one hand and a bouquet of - flowers in the other went with the horse and buggy. No longer must the bashful boy slide to his kwees to pop the question or knock the same k.aees together when asking father. The elop- ing girl comes down the elevator instead of the ladder nowadays and signs the marriage license . old home mnewspaper, with in the right place with a hand as firm as the groom-to-be. Probably more legible.. Yes, the girl who once turned crimson under the pale, jumpy light of g gas jet when the question was popped now has a daughter who shouts “Yes!” above the roar of a 70-mile-an- hour roadster. They might decide to wire father and mother about it in a week or so. Getting back to the correctness of a young woman paying a luncheon check or even pur- chasing tickets for the theater. A woman of high social lineage, a criterion of stylish be- havior, who has for a number of years edited one of the most accepted bibles of etiguette, has placed her stamp of approval on this pro- cedure. “It is perfectly proper,” she says, “for a young lady who has constantly accepted the attentions of a male acquaintance of long standing to participate in the financial obliga- tions of their mutual entertainments. “The young man has invited her to dinner and the theater,” she continues, “and it is certainly permissible to return his hospitality by asking him to have lunch with her or to attend a show as her guest. She is simply reciprocating, in a modern manner, of course, as would her parents a few years back.” RIDGE, once the gossipy pursuits of hearts, clubs, odd-shaped sandwiches and fruit salads, has taken a more serious turn. In many parts of the country it is still pos- sible to trump your partner’s tricks while munching peanut butter and white bread and gum the cards with drippings from a grape- fruit basket. But in the wide-open cities where bridge is bridge and the check book take the hindmost, the eating is all finished before the decks are broken. The modern host may invite her guests to luncheon, but when that is over it's clear the decks and watch your tricks without a sassy word about anybody. Engagements, that anybody worthy of being in a “set” knows about weeks in advance, are still announced with “surprise” afternoon par- ties where betrothal notices break out of eggs, stuffed oranges or jack boxes. But the good its inquisitive society editor, is fast cutting down the average of such formalities. Weddings that escape the notary public still follow the old customs in the city's best families. The bride who has not selected a quicker method demands her day and still has it. Night weddings and the full-dress suit are becoming generally “passe,” with the high-noon and afternoon ceremonies most popular, The bride’s trousseay demands that the groom dress in a morning suit or dress in late afternoon in complement to the lady’s attire. There is no other way out of it for him. The more active participation of women in business and in out-of-door sports has made considerable inroads on the formal call. - The P ._/ < — o ry 9 Ten years ago, he said: “Do you mind if I smoke, Miss Jones?” Today, she says: “As far as these cigarettes are con- cerned, you smoke the world’s worst.” telephone also is doing a lot of pinch-hitting for the engraved invitation and card, The woman who formerly waited home for afternoon visitors is now on the golf course, the tennis courts, the swimming pool, or about some business venture. The ever circle of her sctivities includes her friends, of course, and only in the most select and urban circles are the “at home” days observed. A lady may now be seen 'in a barber wp——perhapa even out-talking the ber. A RUNNING knowledge of French is no jonger absolutely necessary in order to eat in fashionabls dining places in America. Pork and beans may be ordered as such without throwing the entire serving staff in an uproar. Even in the home the courses are simpler and fewer with the natural reduction in silver- ware. Two forks, two knives, two spoons, a tablespoon and a salad fork will carry one through the routine of almost any fashionable meal today. The “banjo grip” on the fork is, as ever, frowned upon and the napkin still protects the lap and not the cravat, but the memory is not taxed in dining any more. Even the novice may do the natural thing and feel quite comfortable, Americans eat less than in ancient days, head« waiters and caterers observe, and, naturally, there are fewer courses in the well ordered meal. FPive courses seem to suffice the well bred family. The journey from soup to nuts has been shortened and is not nearly so intri- cate as it used to be. The parade to the dining room at large dinner gatherings has become rather a drift with the prevailing use of place cards. There is no grand march, unless the occasion be a most elaborate one, to the dinner table with rank carefully sorted. After informal chatting and possibly cocktails the gentleman accom- panies the lady who happens to be nearest him to the table and together they hunt their place cards and designated seats. For years hosts have not been made to bear the brunt of night club entertainment that sometimes follows dinner and the theater. It is considered perfectly proper for the gentle- men of the party to go into such a huddle as the prohibition era will allow at its close and “split” the check. The b. y. o. 1. rule holds and there is seldom a split on liquid refreshe ments unless purchased as extra supplies dur- ing the course of the evening. As a matter of fact, a loud insistence of any one gentleman, accompanied by a display of a healthy bank- roll, to pay the check is often considered vulgar. The check is taken care of silently by one member and the others attempt to guess or peek sidewise at the amount and . gently but firmly pay their quota en route to the door. The gentleman who pays the check has been known to come out short on the deal, but there seems to be no better system. NE judge of perfect behavior points to women’s dress as the most drastic change in etiquette within the past few years. “A woman of today may come to the city in the morning,” she says, ‘“properly attired for shopping, then lunch in good society, attend a bridge party and even the wedding of an intimate friend without a change of castume, A simple frock of printed material is in good taste and will suffice for the day's activities. Two years ago this would not be allowed. “Women used to dress to b2 seen, now they dress for comfort and to do things,” she says. “Dressing for parties is an inheritance from the days of royal courts when the lady with four pages carrying her train was considered more important than the one using only two pages. “Men also dressed fancy in those days, but have.learned better. The well dressed woman today has found that simpler garments display more of her beauty and increase her enjoyment of living.” The week end visit has become simpler and not the subject of conjecture it was in the formation as to what to wear and frankly ine formed of the activities in which she is ex- pected to participate during the visit. In smaller cities and towns, the nicety of the formal call is observed on occasions bereavement, iliness and newcomers. The new the new business leader or in the warm old fashion and the basic for- malities that have so long existed are still