Evening Star Newspaper, December 7, 1930, Page 111

Bond salesmen just out of college are looking pretty worried these days. With all these rumors of bond salesmen being dropped from the pay roll on account of hard times, a college education seems almost a waste of energy. Portrait of a lady who, fired with the spirit of giving, after reading about the hard times in the news sheets, has been to the Salvation Army with three straw hats, two pairs of sneakers, a pillow muff, six feet and a half of rubber garden hose, one-half pair of pajamas and a copy of “Chafing Dish Tid Bits.” Here's Mr. Bernard Bye of the local Mer- chants’ First-aid Committee about to deliver an inspiring talk over the radio advising every one to buy and spend hly in order to end the hard times. This will be enjoyably listened to via loud speakers by a couple of ex-employes let out by Mr. Bye recently. HARD TIMES By W. E. Hill (Copyright, 1830, by the Chicago Tribune Syndicate.) Hard times sales talk. “Only yesterday,” Mr. Smack, who peddles insurance, is saying, “a man I knew died of a terrible ailment and his wife and 11 children were left penniless to starve in the gutter because he had never taken out a cent’s worth of insurance. And another widow and her nine babies had to go to work in a coffin foundry because her ?lusband was accustomed to say, ‘I can’t afford life insurance!’” These insurance boys are having uphill work this Winter persuading, cajoling and tracking down prospects. “It doesn’t seem as though unemployment really can be as bad as people make out. Because yesterday I went to my dentist and he said there wasn't a tooth in my mouth to be filled, and that hasn’t happened in years, Elsie, dear!” Ensemble girls have been terribly hard hit by the bottoms falling out of so many brokerage houses. A few short years ago a girl could be reasonably certain that Santa Claus would say it with black lynx or platinum, but the present Yuletide will see her playboy friend handing out nothing more elaborate than Summer wolf or maybe a bit of antique “silver” jewelry. (Third from the left in this pretty grouping is lovely Leelia Grasp, about to miss out on ‘some clever teamwork, having sighted a silver half dollar rolling down the center aisle.) The hard-luck story. This heartrending scene will be enacted in many homes during the Winter of our finan- cial discontent. Mr. Alvin Clingstone, his mother-in-law, wife and daughter are listening to Cousin Abel's boy Lawton telling a hard-luck tale for a purpose. Whether the purpose will be fulfilled remains to be seen. Because Mr. Clingstone is not being left alone one minute by said mother-in-law, wife and daughter, who, one and all, have no intention that dear generous papa shall be imposed upon. Milton has started telling them all about Mary’s operation and how much it cost and about the present slump in the real estate office and how “Boys’’ teeth need attending to. A sure harbinger of hard times is the in- creasing number of girl friends who have to gO0 to court in order to retain possession of presents bestowed by boy friends who have felt the pinch of a money shortage and want their baubles back. You'd be surprised at the misunderstandings that arise. Naturally a lady feels that a diamond cluster pin, once placed in her palm, is keeps, and it is most annoying to hear a gentleman get up in court and explain to the judge and jury that he only handed the pin to her to hold tempo- rarily for a couple of hours. Saturday night in the town, showing sad-eyed farmer, who couldn’t dispose of his apple crop because of nature’s overproduction, ogling the 10-cent apples dis- played in a fruit vender’s window. It's a cruel world.