Evening Star Newspaper, September 15, 1935, Page 100

o] Magazine Secrion T NEED not be explained that the following letter, written in a clever looking handwriting and on very smart paper, is from a man: ‘‘My dear Mrs. Post: In a recent answer to a reader 1 was glad to note that you se- verely criticized the use of pocket combs by voung women in restaurants. but I took ex- ception to your saying that ‘It is no longer considered bad manners to powder one's nose in public.’ I wish you had said ‘It is bad manners to powder one's nose in public. even though so many do it." I wish vou had said a few other things about the inadequate clothes, matched by still more inadequate manners, of our youngest girls and women of today. “I hope you will not find that I have bad manners in asking: Does custom by the majority sanction bad manners? I think it is just as much a breach of good manners to powder one's nose or apply lipstick in public as it would be to manicure one's nails or pick one’s teeth, or for a man to shave. “No one with a grain of refinement or good breeding would tolerate these latter vulgar- isms; but if so many other unpleasant per- sonal habits are-condoned. who knows but these also in time may be accepted. Why not put up the bars, a little anyway, rather than to despair of holding the gates against the herd of vulgarians waiting to rush in? “I read your articles often and I admire your ability to see the other person's point of view. But never before have I known you to so easily give up the tenets that yvour very name should —and wusually does — guar- antee. I would feel very disillusioned, were | led to believe that your attitude toward the whole subject of charm and good breeding is becoming as iax as your bland approval of making-up in public might lead your readers to imagine. Or is the idea that a woman likes to be pleasing to a man an exploded myth?” In answer, I must first of all protest that the correspondent 's quotation is not quite fair — at least so it seems {0 me — because he quoted me only in part. A woman asked me whether she might ever powder her nose should it become red and shiny and there was no dressing room to which she could go?’ (Evidently she must have had a husband or a best friend who feels as my correspondent does.) To this extremely urgent question I replied: “Why don't you use a liquid powder that sticks?'* Meaning that, with a careful applica- tion of liquid powder before she went out, her nose would probably stay nicely white with- out any retouching. It is true, I admit, that I did add: ‘It is no longer considered bad manners to powder one's nose briefly if one must, but even so one should try to choose inconspicuous moments." Just how this remark of mine can be inter- preted as a bland approval of making-up as a practise to be encouraged, I can’t understand. As a matter of fact, I can think of nothing more at variance with the precepts of eti- quette than a woman who is continuously looking at herself in her vanity mirror, mak- ing moves, and fussing at her hair and dabbing at her face. It is not only bad form, but evi- dence of complete ignorance of the meaning of charm. To begin with, the sense of her own value would not allow any woman of charm to risk riving evidence that her natural face is far trom satisfactory. After all, it is obvious that one does not mend china unless it is broken, smear ink eradicator on a letter unless there is a blot, or put a patch on something except to hide a hole. A man may not stop to reason whether L & NN b’ \ THIS WEEK Good Taste Today oung women love to talk about romantic beawt] and thrill. ~Xen talk less but exact more, and a well bred man can not overlook Mm/mess by EMILY POST Author of *“ Etiquette: The Blue Book of Social Usage,” **The Personality of a House,” Elc. g £3 | ] = ® September 15, 1935 Hllustration by Corinne Boyd Dillon To daub and paint before him is apt to make him doubt the charm of her natural face Gloria Gorgeous would have grey lips, pallid cheeks and a shiny red nose without her make-up; but to see her continually daubing and painting and patching can not fail to impress his subconscious mind with the short- comings that her natural face must have. to need constant attention. In short, to display the artifice. by which the loveliness of a woman's appearance is attained, is disillusioning to a romance. And one thing that the modern young woman seems obtusely unaware of is that men are more sensitive to romance than women — oh. ever so much more! Young women love to talk about romantic beauty and thrill. A man talks less but exacts more. He idealizes the charm and the clever- ness of the woman he falls in love with. And the modern young woman's discourteous con- centration upon herself is the antithesis of both charm and cleverness. Can one imagine that Madame Recamier, whose charm captivated all men's hearts. or Madame de Stael, who thrilled men by her wit, could ever have sa* staring into a mirror in the presence of any man they sought to please — or for that matter in the presence of anyone? It is true that certain people seem to be endowed with a personality that fascinates by sheer force of its own qualities. But as a usua! thing the girl that a man falls in love with is one who appreciates him. No man — worthy of the name - likes a woman who is rude or inconsiderate or who, instead of giving him her attention, is always trying to attract the attention of every one else nearby, and readily flirts with other men in the belief that she is showing the man she is with how much ad- miration she attracts. If the man loves her, her behavior will not only hurt him in his own pride, but hurt his pride in her. If he is merely interested, the chances 2re that his interest will cool with a rapidity surprising even to himself. That craving for attention. which possesses certain women, who can not resist trying to attract the notice of every halfway good- looking mzn they see, may result in their being surrounded with men of the types who haunt free lunch counters. But it is certain that neither John Stronghart nor Richling Highborn will be found among them. If there is one thing that a really well-bred man can not overlook, it is cheapness of be- havior. Cheapness of behavior has nothing whatever to do with lack of money. The greatest heiress can be cheaper than cheap —- and the poorest girl in town. a complete thoroughbred. But no one can be both cheap and a thoroughbred. In an article lately, I tried to explain a few of the first evidences of cheapness that must be checked in the earliest nursery training of every well-brought-up child. In a child, the tendency toward cheap behavior goes no ‘urther than the impulse to show off, and to take whatever he can get without :ealizing the obligations on his own part to make a return for what he accepts. But the most typical meaning of the word “‘cheapness” is that of a girl —or young woman — who puts no value on herself; who shows no restraint mentally, morally, or physically; who confides most personal and intimate details of her life to strangers; who, exacting no courtesy, doesn't mind being nudged or pushed or shoved in a crowd; and, having no sense of personal value, is willing to be kissed and petted — in other words to put herself in the class with the food on a free-lunch counter. Don't, however, forget that there is all the difference in the world between the girl who seeks or even welcomes the attentions of cheap men, and the girl who is generally popular. In other words, the whole difference, between being held in esteem or being held in contempt by people of discriminating taste, lies in the absence, or the evidence of, cheap- ness. Real popularity is something not caught with a lariat nor fished for, nor even con- sciously tried for. It is something spomn- taneously given to those peopie who have friend-making qualities of temperament and character and sympathetic understanding. One last word: I should like to be able to hold the gates against a lot of things that are utterly shocking to taste — in fact, to every- thing that gives the impression that the scene is laid in a dressing room or at a public bath. But I do realize that nothing much can be done while popular taste temporarily stam- pedes. There is, however, one thing that we can with reasonable certainty expect. Excellence alone has an imperishable auality. Bad taste, bad manners, vulgar fashions, crude behavior, will go the way they have always gone — into the discard und whatever of excellence this same present day has furthered will permanently remain. Copyright, 1935 by Enuly Post ¥