Evening Star Newspaper, June 9, 1929, Page 97

ment it looked as if there was going to be a hitch. Uncle Philip, the Colonel, it seemed, was due to materialize that afternoon. He always made a point of being present for his niece’s birthday, however far he had to come to be there; and he would be terribly hurt if he arrived and found she had let him down. What to do? “Bring him along,” T said, of course. The Colonel, on getting off the train and going to the Hall, would find a note instructing him to come and revel at Journey’s Ende. So I wheeled the wheelbarrow back to the cottage, feeling that all was well. And at about half past 4 the maid who came in from the village by the day to do our cooking and wash- ing up announced Sir Edward and Miss Bayliss. I'm an old campaigner now, Corky, and Fate has to take its coat off and spit on its hands ° a bit if it wants to fool me. Today, when Fate offers me something gilt-edged, I look it over coldly. T assume till it has been proved other- wise, that attached to it somewhere there is a string. But, at the time of which I am speaking I was younger, more buoyant, more credulous; and I honestly supposed that this tea party of mine was going to be the success it seemed at the start. The thing had got under way without a sus- picion of anything in the nature of a disaster. Sir Edward had not bumped his head against the beam on the ceiling just inside the front door. And though the Stepper’s roses were present in wonderful profusion, he himself hada't shown up. And that seemed to me the viggest stroke of luck of the lot. You see, the old Stepper wasn't everybody's money. To begin with, he had an apparently incurable disike of O. B. E’s, and then he combined with a hot-blooded and imperious nature the odd belief that eggs were a suit- able food for adult human beings at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. And he was so touchy, too— so ready to resent opposition. I had had visions of him standing over Sir Edward and shoving eggs down his throat at the point of a table knife. He was better away, and I hoped he had fallen into a ditch and couldn’'t get out. I was at the top of my form. I handed cups, I slid the toast about, I prattled merrily. And I could see the old boy was impressed. These O. B. E's are silent, reserved men, and he just looked at me, from time to time, in a meditative way. Then, as he was dipping into his third cup of tea, out he came into the open and began to talk turkey. “Your aunt—— Have you heard from her, by the way?” “Not yet. I suppose she's very busy.” “I imagine so. An energetic woman.” “Very. All we Ukridges are energetic. We do not spare ourselves.” “Your aunt,” resumed the old boy, swallow- ing some more tea, “gave me the impression in one of the conversations we had before she left England that you were looking out for an opening in the world of commerce.” “Yes,” T said. “In my own business,” he was beginning, %“the jute business——" Just then the door opened and the maid appearaed. She was one of those snorting girls, and shea snorted something about a gentleman. I couldn't get it. “Who's a gentleman?” I said. “QOutside. He says he wants to see you."” “It must be Uncle Philip,” said Myrtle. “Of course,” I said. “Show him in. Don't keep him waiting, my good girl. Show him in at once.” AND in came a massive bloke with large eyebrows and a sort of look about him that made ynu feel he believed in infant dam- nation. Obviocusly not the Colonel, for Myrtle and the O. B. E. gave no sign of recognition. Then who? The man was a perfect stranger to me However, I flattered myself I could play the h( gt wd afternoon,” I said affably. “Aiterncon,” said the bloke. “Take a chair,” 1 said. “I'm going to take all the chairs,” he said. “And the sofa, too. I'm from the Mammoth Furnishing Co., and the check for the deposit on this stuff has been returned ‘Refer to drawor’.” it is net too much to say, Corky, that I reeled. Yes, laddie, your old friend tottered and would have fallen had he not clutched at a chair. And, from the look in the bloke’s eye, it began to seem that my chances of clutching at that particular chair were likely to be very soon a thing of the past. He had one of those brooding eyes—two, probably, only there was a paitch over the left one. I think some one must have hit him there. A fellow like that could scarcely go through life for long without getting punched in the eye. “But, my dear old horse——" I began. “It's no use arguing. We've written twice and never got an answer, and I've instructions from the firm to take the stuff.” “But we're using it.” “Not now,” said the blighter. fshed.” I look back on that moment, Corky, old boy, as one of the worst in my career. It is always a nervous business for a fellow to entertain the girl he loves and her father. And, believ= me, it doesn’t help pass things off when a couple of the proletariat surge into the room and start carrying out all the chairs. Conver- satlon during the proceedings was, you might say, at a standstill; and, even after the opera- tions were over, it wasn't any too easy to get it going again. “Some absurd mistake,” I said. “No doubt,” said the O. B. E. “I shall write those people a very stiff letter tonight.” “No doubt.” “That furniture was bought by my uncle, one of the wealthiest men in Australia. It's absurd to suppose that a man of standing would —"" “No doubt. be going.” ‘Then, Corky, I spread myself. On not a few occasions in a life that has had its ups and downs I have been compelled to do some im- pressive talking. But now I surpassed all pre- vious efforts. “You've fin- Myrtle, my dear, I think we will The thought of all that was slipping away from me spurred me to heights I have never reached before or since. And gradually, little by little, I made headway. The old boy tried to shake me off and edge through the French windows, but it is preity hard to shake me off when I am at my best. I grabbed him by the buttonhole and steered him back into the room. And when, in a dazed sort of way, he reached out and took a slice of cake, I knew the baltle was won. “The way I look at 1t Is this™ I said, get- ting between him and the window. “A man like my uncle would no doubt have a number of accounts in different banks. The one on which he drew this check happened to have insufficient funds in it, and the manager, with gross discourtesy——"" “Well, yes, possibly.” 4 “I shall tell my uncle of what has occurred.” At this moment somebody bchind me said, “Ha!” or it may have been “Ho!"—and I spun around and there in the French window was standing another perfect stranger. This new addition to our little party was a long, lean, Anglo-Indian-looking individual. You know the type. Beige as to general color scheme and rather like a vulture with a white mustache, “Uncle Philip!” cried Myrtle. Scrence amount of sunlight will penetrate to depths ranging from 6% to 60 feet. The electrical Hght recorder measures the intensity of solar radiation below the surface of a lake, The registering device is set up on shore and is linked by means of a 325-foot cable with the sun-detecting or receiving device, which is lowered from a boat. The light de- tector consists of a number of electrified ther- mo-couples mounted in a brass box which is lowered into the water and is kept in a hor- izontal position by special leveling devices. One control line is used to open the sunlight de- tector and another to close it when the ob- servation is made at a given depth. N efficient dredge which is empioyed in se- curing mud samples in lakes that range anywhere from 26 to 225 feet deep is another unique plece of “fishing” equipment. It is a brass box equipped with special jaws and con- trols for opening and closing at any depth that it used in obtaining mud samples from a known area of the lake bottoms, so that the animals, worms and larvae may be studied and identified. When the device is lowered to the bottom, the jaws of the dredge are released by means of a brass messenger sent down the line. They remain shut while the specimen is raised to the surface and removed from the container. Another bottom dredge consists of canvas and silk gauge strainers, attached to a quad- rangular brass frame. It is designed for organ- isms which live on the lake bottom, but which do not burrow into the mud. The arrangement is such that the organisms enter the dredge and are then unable to escape, being raised to the surface and stored away as valuable experi- mental material by the scientific fishermen, Many minute aquatic animals dwell upon the larger plants which grow in inland lakes. The Wisconsin anglers who are throwing the light on piscatorial mysteries have originated a spe- cial trap made of brass, heavy grit gausze and canvas for abtaining specimens of these va- rieties of fish food. I gathered that this must be the O. B. E’s daughter, or somedlsing on those lines, and I felt my whole \attitude toward the jute business changing in « flash. ‘The Vulture gave a kind of nod in her direc- tion. He seemed: upsct about something. “Don't talk o me,” he said. “I haven't time. Many happy returns of the day, and so forth, but don’t talk to me now, child. There's the man I want to talk to.” “You know Mr. Ukridge?* “No, I don't. And I don't want to. But I know he’s stolen — - He btoke off with a hideous rattle in his voice, and I saw that he was staring at the table. It belonged to my aunt and was the only thing ta the room that the shirt-sleeved birds hed left, s0 it was fairly conspicuous. E sviitched an eye round and let it play on me like an oxyacetylene blowpipe. T don't know what the treatment for liver is at Har- rogate, but they ought to change it. It's in- effective. It had obviously done this man no good at all. The O. B. E. came to the surface. “What's the matter, Philip?” he asked, an- noyed. He had only just finished coughing, having swallowed a bit of cake the wrong way. “I'll tell you what's the matter. I was in my garden just now, and [ found it looted — looted! That man there has stripped it of every rose I possess. My rosesl The place is a desert.” A1ds. In making a caich, the open trap is lowered over the plants to be examined. The plants are thep loosened from the bottom and the mouth of the trap is closed. The trap is raised to the surface with its mouth upward and hauled into the boat, the water being allowed to drain out through the gauze before it is taken on board. The plants are transferred to a pail containing some water which then is removed to the laboratory where the curious little animals are washed off and enumerated. By the supplementary use of a diving hood, this trap has been operated successfully at depths of 16 to 20 feet. Dr, Birge and his aides have used collapsible rubber boats, which weigh 18 pounds apiece, during their amazing fishing trips on isolated northern lakes. These unique craft, which Jook like huge automobile tires when inflated for service, are easy to portage from one lake to another and in certain instances have been the only boats seen on several remote Wisconsin lakes since the Indians abandoned that ter- ritory and removed their birch-bark canoes. Dr. Birge is also the inventor of a remark- able mud thermometer. This apparatus is used when a lake is covered with ice. It con- sists of a large tripod set up on the ice, linked to a piece of 4-inch pipe 10 feet long by means of a rope attached to a windlass. The rope is fastened to the ring on the upper cap of the pipe, the cylinder being open at the bottom. The pipe is driven into the mud by a hammer-like weight, which is raised and dropped until the desired depth is reached. ‘Then the pipe and its core of mud are lifted to the surface, laid on the ice, and the tempera- ture of the mud is taken by thrusting ther- mometers through smaill holes in the metal contaimer. These tests showed temperatures which rose from 2.6 dcgrees centigrade at the surfase of the mud to 8.8 or 9 degrees at points 10 feet below the surface. Subsequent experi- ments verified these results, in which & remark- able electrical thermometer was atWeched se- curely fo the pipe, being driven fnte the mud of the lake bottom and recording the varying temperatures at one-half-meter intervals, the temperetures being registered automatically at the surface. 9 “Is this true, Mr. Ukridge?” asked the O B.E. “Certainly not,” I said. ‘“Oh, it isn't?” said the Vulture. “It isn't, eh? Then where did those roses come from? There aren’t any rose trees in the garden of this, house. I've been here half a dozen times and I ought to know. Where did you get those roses? Answer me that.” “My uncle gave them to me.” The O. B. E, having now disposed of tha cake, uttered a nasty laugh. “Your uncle!” he said. “What uncle?” cried the Vulture. this. uncle? Show me this uncle. him!”, 5 “I'm afraid it would be a little difficult to do that, Philip,” said the O. B. E,, and I didn't at all like his manner. “It appears that Mr. Ukridge possesses a mysterious uncle. Nobody has. ever_set eyes on him, but it would seem that he buys furniture and does not pay for it, .steals rosas e . “‘And sundials,” put in the Vulture. “Sundials?’’ A “That's what I said. After I'd had a look at my garden I went over to the Hall, and there in. the middle of the lawn was my sundial, They told me this fellow here had given it to Myrtle,” I wasn't in any too good shape by this time, but I collected enough of the old manly spirit to come back at him. “How do you knaw it was your sundial?” I said. “Because it had my motto on it. And, as if that wasn’t enough, he's stolen my Summer house!” The O. B. E. gulped. “Your . Summer house?” he said in a low, almost reverent vpice. The spaciousness of tha thing seemed to have affected his vocal cords. “How could he have stolen a Summer house?” “L don't, know how he did it. In sections, I suppose. It’s one of those portable Summer houses. I had it sent down from the Stores last month. And there it is, standing at the bottom of his garden. I tell you, the man ought not to be at large. He's a menace. When I was in France, during the war, a platoon of Austra- lians scrounged one of my cast-iron sheds one night, but I never expected that that sort of thing happened in England.” “Sir Edward,” I said, “let me explain. My uncle ” But it was no use, Corky. They wouldn't listen. The O. B. E. gave me one look, the Vulture gave me another, and I rather fancy Myrtle gave me a third, and then they pushed off and I was alone. I went over to the table and helped myself to a bit of cold toast, a broken man. About 10 minutes later there was a sound of cheery whistling outside and the Stepper walked in. “Here I am, my boy,” said the Stepper. “I've got the eggs.” And he began shedding them out of every pocket. It looked as if he had been looting every henroost in the neighbor- hood. “Where are our guests?” “Gone:" “Gone?” He looked round. “Hullo! Where's the furniture?” “Gone.” “Gone?” I explained. “Tut, tut!” said the Stepper. I sniffed a bit. “Don’t make sniffling noises at me, my boy,” said the Stepper reprovingly. “The best of men have checks returned from time to time.” “And I suppose the best of men sneak eggs and roses and sundials and Summer houses?” I said. And I spoke bitterly, Corky. “Eh?” said the Stepper. “You don't mean to say——" “I certainly do.” “Tell me all.” I told him all. “Too bad!” he said. “I never have been able to shake off this habit of scrounging. Wherever Charles Percy Cuthbertson is, there he scrounges. But who would have supposed that people would make a fuss about a little vhung like that? I'm disappointed in the old country. Why, nobody in Australia minds a little scrounging:”’ What’s mine is yours and what's yours -is' mine—that’s our motto out therve. Oh, well, there's nothing to be done about &, I suppose.” ' “Where's Produca ¢ T"HERE'S a lot to be done about it!” I said. “The O. B. E. doesn't believe I've got an uncle. He thinks I pinched all those things myself.” “Does he?” said the Stepper thoughtfully. “Does he, indeed?” “And the least you can do is to go up to the Hall and explain.” “Precisely what I was about to suggest my- self. I'll walk over now and put everything right. Trust me, my boy, I'll soon fix things up.” And he trotted out. And that, Corky, is the last I ever saw of him till today. It's my belief he never went anywhere near the Hall. I am convinced that he walked siraight to the station, no doubt pocketing a couple of telegraph poles and a five-barred gate " or s0 on the way, and took the next train to London. Certainly there was nothing in the O. B. E.'s manner when I met him next day in the village to suggest that everything had been put right and things fixed up. I don't suppose a jute merchant has ever cut anybody so thoroughly. And that's why I wish to impress it upon you, Corky, that that snaky and conscienceless old Stepper is best avoided. No matter how glittering the prospects he may hold out, I say to you—shun him! Looking at the thing in one way, taking the short, narrow view, I am out a lunch—possibly a good lunch. But do I regret? No. Who knows but that a man like tnat would have been called to the telephone at the eleventh hour, leaving me stuck with the bill? And even supposing he really has got money now—how did he get it? That is the question. I shall make inquiries, and if I find that some one has pinched the Albert Memorial, T shall know what to think!' - (Copyright, 1929.) .