Evening Star Newspaper, June 9, 1929, Page 102

THE SUND BY WEARE HOLBROOK. HE etiquette of the modern wedding has become so complicated that so- f ciety is thinking of doing away with it altogether—that is, with the eti- quette. The wedding itself, of course, is a time-honored institution which cannot be dispensed with. There must be pictures of some sort to fil! the Sunday rotogravures dur- ing the interval between the end of the Palm Beach basking season and the opening of the Atlantic City bathing beauty contests. But the problem of separating the inlaws from the outiaws and remembering who is to stand where and how long, and whether to say “I will” or “I do”—all this is a little too much for the average mentality to grapple. with, gim being what it is today. Weddings went off more smoothly in the pre- Volstead days before Keely Institute turned co- educational. One could always count upon the bride’s mother being sober, ‘at least. Though papa might grow a little boisterous- and- the bridegroom might giggle hysterically and the best man might slap the parson on the back, mamma could always be trusted to preserve a decorum that was downright fumereal. It was she who kept an eagle, if somewhat tearful, eye on the ushers and straightened papa’s necktie and shooed the bridesmaids off the rear plat- form of the bride’s train. . P on, But you cannot count on mamma any more. Bhe is too busy negotiating with the bootiégger and passing around the wassail cup. The masculine prerogative of taking a good Stiff bracer just before the ceremony bns been usurped by the ladies, and, like most of the masculine prerogatives which the ladies have usurped, it is being run a little ragged. Not that there is any real harm in it. It is high time that women were emancipated, and if they find that they can achieve emancipation: through dissipation, then they're better men than we are, Canon Chase. Certainly every woman should stand up for her rights. But when she is no longer able to stand up she should call a cab and allow her- self to be taken home in a quiet, refined man- ner, and not keep trying to sing while other people are talking. PP HERE was a time when the only singing at |4 3 wedding was done by a hired soprano ‘who warbled, “O Promise Me!” until all the relatives wept. But now every one joins in ‘on “Sweet Adeline” and the happy couple are ‘quite likely to be showered with empty bottles instead of old shoes. Although the advocates of the single stand- ard of morality and the double standard of eyesight have practically revolutionized the business of getting married, there are a few old tribal customs which are still observed. One is the practice of sending invitations to persons who cannot possibly come to the wedding. This invariably results in a deluge of traveling ‘clocks, the traveling clock being a universally Fecognized form of regret. Salad forks are also Jegal tender during the month of June. . ‘The old idea that one should wear “some- thing old, something new, something borrowed ‘and something blue” when being married, ap- Plies to the bridegroom as well as to the bride. yThe bride usually wears a bit of old lace which welonged to her grandmother, and the bride- groom appears in the community cutaway and :an expression which is bluer than a bromo ‘seltzer bottle, especially if there has been a bachelor dinner the night before. ;s ‘The rule that the bridegroom’s best man must be unmarried eliminates a great many likely candidates for the job. A man who postpones matrimony until middle age generally finds to his dismay that his circle of bachelor friends has dwindled to a few hopeless pills. The term “best man” therefore really means “the best man available at the moment.” . It is the duty of the best man to stand be- hind the bridegroom and keep him from mak- “The Horse Is Coming Back,” Says the Vice BY HINDA BURKE. HO says the horse is passing? Vice President Curtis says the horse is coming back, if it ever did pass, and Curtis has kept his eye on horses ever since his jockey days. “you must consider all flelds of aetivity,” says the Vice President in legal fashion, mak- ing out the case of the horse. “Notice the racing and show season now. At the races the other day a man dared not leave his box. It he did, he would find it occupied. There were more people in attendance near Washington and Baltimore than ever before. And there are more high-class thoroughbreds in the country now than ever before; the class has improved. Horse breeders are going in for thoroughbreds. And as for utility, I am told by merchants that & horse for short deliveries is cheaper and more satisfactory than a motor. And in industry draft horses are used often rather than ma- chines. So they are coming back into use that way.” “And from a scenic point of view, Mr. Vice President? Don’t you think a man looks better on a fine horse than in a stuffy car?” “It depends on how he rides,” laughed the Vice President. *“He looks better if he stays on.” “Oh, of course, T referred to a good rider.” “Yes, you do feel more in action with some- thing alive under you—something with intel- Begence and understanding. A man has to handle his bridle and control his horse if he is spirited. Yes, there is more activity and more exercise. Horseback riding is good exercise. You don’t get action in a car with nothing to watch but the middle of the road. Man will mever give up the horse.” AY STAR, WASHINGTON, D: C, . S "JUNE 9, 1920—PART 7. == e == There Goes the Bride! A Man Used to Pay Court to a Girl Before They Were Wed—Now He Pays Court Costs Afterwvard—No Wedding Seems Complete Without a Divorce. “But you can’t count on mamma any more. She is too busy negotiating with the bootlegger.” ing a sudden dash for the door. He should be patient, sympathetic, firm and resourceful— combining the qualities of an older brother with those of an attendant in a psychopathic ward. It is not an enviable task, and many men have become husbands before their time merely in order to secure exemption from attendance at weddings. ON the wedding announcemcnts it is cus- tomary to indicaie when and where the happy couple will be At Home. This is largely guesswork, for so much depends upon how long the bridegroom’s traveler's checks hold out, and how much space the wedding presents occupy. The wealthy uncle in Syracuse may At the Kentucky Derby when the young racer, Clyde Van Dusen, sired by Man o’ War, with the bit in his teeth and fire in his eye took the course through a sea of mud, driving rain and thunder and lightning, to win, because it was in his blood to win, there was a thrill for all men. Perhaps the winner may be classed as a “mudder,” but this was no ordinary mud race. He defied the lightning in pursuit of victory. It was said that he knew nothing but to race until the winning post was passed. “He is nothing but a pony,” says McAtee, the jockey. “But what a heart! He almost jumped out from under me. He's nothing but a mud-run- ning fool.” One of the Mexican refugee generals, Espi- .nosa, has a race horse, Raven, which he was ambitious to enter in the Derby, but an ill- fated name and an ill-fated revolution was a combination too much for him. “A horse is just like a human being,” says Maj. E. G. Cullum, chief of the remount serv- ice, War Department. Other people have said the same, but the major says it with the deep fecling of a cavalryman. “One horse differs from another in disposition just like a man, and his disposition may be affected by the treatment he gets, just like a man. A horse with mediocre training managed by a man who understands his horse will come out better than a thoroughbred managed by a tyro. “Mobility simply means getting there—reach- ing whatever is your objective. The horse is more mobile than the motor for several rea- sons. The motor is tied to a road. If a bridge is destroyed, & motor cannot swim a river. A line of motors i8 too long and cannot be ma- neuvered easily. The motor is speedy, but not 80 dependable. If the gasoline supply gives out, the motor is dead. Cavalry horses can usually come across with an 18 by 25 Axminster rug, which will mean that two rooms and a kitchen- ette are out of the question. Or a flock of bulky heirlooms from distant relatives may de- scend upon the bride’s head and convert the contemplated modernistic “studio” into an old- fashioned attic. As Eddie Guest would say if he had tried to get a twelve-piece set of golden oak furniture into a three-room apartment, “It takes a heap o’ shovin’ to make a house a home.” June, being the month for weddings, is also the month for wedding anniversaries. A list of these anniversaries can be found in any al- manac, along with birthstones, gallstones, and what to do in case of drowning. The first year is paper, the second calico, third muslin, forage on the country; in many cases where a cavalry unit has been separated from the main column, it has been able to maintain itself for a long while. And cavalry as a semi-detached force for obtaining information of the enemy is relied upon by commanders. “A column on the march meets the enemy fire, The first thing is to stop while the ad- vance guard spreads out like a fan, thus ex- posing fewer numbers to the hostile fire. In such case the cavalry unit which rides in ad- vance will usually be deployed in flank move- ment to attack the enemy at some side point. In such case motors are less easily maneuvered, although a motor is useful in its place.” ‘The major tells of an experiment with a man who had some sort of mechanical con- trivance which he claimed could go wherever a horse could go, and do whatever a horse could do, and then some. So Maj. Cullum tried out the robot with his machine in our South- western country among the arroyas, where the deep, loose sand plays all sorts of tricks, and the major says all that machine could do was to stand still and dig sand, while his trained horse picked up his feet. The major also took the contraption to a steep bank, leading down to a river, where the horse slides down and then swims. “But I can't take my machine down there,” protested the owner; “it would turn somersaults and nose dive into the river.” As in war the command cannot always choose their terrain; one must have assets for all oc- casions. Perhaps it comes in here for those not familiar with military terms to say that the word terrain, in military use, refers espe- cially to a region viewed with regard to its fitness for some particular use, as a battlefield. Maj. Cullum as chief of the remount service is chief purchasing rgent for the Army, the term fourth silk, fifth wood, and so on—working up gradually and expensively to the fiftieth, or golden wedding. The idea is that on each an- niversary friends and relatives are to give the happy couple presents made of the material in- dicated for the occasion. But apparently very few people read al- manacs any more, and the only person who is really expected to remember these immovable feasts is the husband. A list of wedding anni- versaries as they are observed today would read about as follows: First year, long-stem- med American beauties; second year, carna- tions; third year, potted geranium (two days late); fourth year, new linoleum for the kitchen floor; fifth year, long-distance call from Mont- real; tenth year, one-way ticket to Reno; fifteenth year, check; twenty-fifth year, check. And so on. A Since the discovery of “incompatibility” (a word full of sound and fury, signifying almost anything) not many marriages have survived long enough for the celebration of anniversaries, and it has been suggested that, if we must have celebrations, fractional aniversaries be added to the list; i. e., first month, papier-mache; second month, rayon; third month, fabrikoid; fourth month, bakelite; fifth month, German silver, etc. There is an old saying (it will be about three weeks old by the time this appears in print) that the larger the trousseau the shorter the marriage. It is true that brides’ trains are not as far-reaching as they used fo be—in fact, some of them stop so soon that they might be described as locals—and there are no petticoats infesting the portmanteaus. Judging by the clothes one sees on the average debutante, she could use a cigarette case for a hope chest. Nevertheless, the trousseau is just as impertant a matrimonial item as it was in grandmother’s day. The only difference is that the bride ac- cumulates it after the wedding, instead of be- fore. The notion that a woman must abandon her hope chest development as soon as she has acquired a husband is both misanthropic and mid-Victorian. It is implies that marriage 1s a hopeless imstitution, and that once a woman has entered it she might as well despair of bettering her condition. UT now, praise be to alimony, all that is changed. Hope springs eternal in the bridal chest. There is always the possibility that the next husband may be an improvement over the present one. Thus it becomes one of the first duties of the ambitious young wife to assemble a suitable wardrobe to be used in case of in- compatibility. Every up-to-date trousseau ought to include a few grass-widow’s weeds among the orange blossoms, for you never can tell what may hap- pen, and it is always well to be prepared for the best. There should be an attractive “going- away” outfit; several of them, in fact. The “coming-back” outfit is not so important, for it is seldom used. But one should always look one's loveliest when going out of a man’s life forever. It is a safe bet that Nora Helmer didn’t walk out of the Doll's House without pausing for a moment in front of the mirror in the hall. The old-fashioned woman, having captured a husband, sometimes grew careless of her personal appearance and excused her dowdiness by saying: “Well, there’s no sense in running for a street car after you've caught it.” Her twentieth century sister, who is anything but dowdy, agrees with the soundness of this theory—provided you catch the right street car. “But,” she adds, with equal wisdom, “there’s no sense in riding to the end of the line on the wrong car when all you have to do is ask for a transfer.” So she asks for a transfer. And if she has paid proper attention to her post-nuptial trous- seau and hope chest, she usually gets it. Ap- parel oft procures the man—both before and after the wedding. President remount meaning replacement of horses lost. And the term purchasing agent, although not of thrilling sound, is hardly the same as buyer for a department store. His activities take him out into places where most of the Army depots are located, so he has a field for adventure. He tells of getting lost on a in' the Far West, and his horse tired and of 3 man loomed be- beside the lonely trail. you?” challenged the man. “Maj. Cullum of the Army remount service, on duty purchasing horses. I am lost.” “Well, stranger, you're a long way from head- quarters. You won't get back tonight. If you care to use my shack I can make you more comfortable than on the road. My name is O'Rourke.” So as this seemed Irish and sociable, the ma- jor had super with the O'Rourke, slept there all night, had breakfast and took the trail again, reaching his comrades at the depot with an account of his adventure. “My dear man, you never stayed all night with O'Rourke! Why, it's a wonder you lived to tell the tale! He's a fugitive from justice, a cattleman who got in bad with the authorities, and he's killed nine men, including the sheriff!” Another incident of his travels spells a bit of philosophy for this restless age. He was rid- ing with one of the cowboys of the West who condescended to use a car for convenience on a hard road. A tramp by the roadside asked for a lift. “Now what's the use of giving you a lift?” eomplained the cowboy. “You ain't going anye where: If I took you a hundred miles you wouldn’t be a bit better off than you are here; the walkin's just as good here as farther on.”