Evening Star Newspaper, June 2, 1929, Page 49

MONEY FOR NOTHING By P. G. Wodehouse (Copyright, 1929, by North American Newspaper Synopsis of Preceding Installments. Lester Carmody, who loves money more | than heirlooms. plans a fake burglary. by | which various objects are to be turned 1nto | cash. His effort to set the stage leaves him stranded 30 fe ve the ground. The burglary idea was suggested to him by two sharpers, Dolly and “‘Soapy” Molloy. who are guests of Carmody's nephew, Hugo. and pose as rich Americans. Hugo's credulity is equaled only by his passion for managing the lives of others. He has just driven his cousin, John Carroll, distracted by tender- ing & ‘proposal of marriage on his (John's) behalf to Patricia Wyoern. It is rejected. _ (Continued From Yesterday's Star.) _ THIRTEENTH INSTALLMENT. R. LESTER CARMODY looked cautiously down from his perch. It gave him acute vertigo to do so, but he braved this in his desire to see. Since s vigil began, he had heard much whistling. In addition to the Garrulus Glandarius Rufitergum and the Corvus Monedula Spermologus, he had been privileged for the last hour or so to listen to & concert featuring such ar- tists as the Dryobates Major Anglicus, the Sturnus Vulgaris, the Emberiza Curlus, and the Muscicapa Striata, or Spotted Flycatcher; and, & moment be- | fore, he would have said that in the matter of whistling he had had all he wanted. But this latest outburst sounded human. It stirred in his bosom something approaching hope. So Mr. Carmody, craning his neck, walted; and presently around the cor- ner of the house, a towel ahput his shoulders, suggesting that he Was on his wor to take an early morning dip in the moat, came his nephew, Hugo. Mr. Carmody, as this chronicle had shown, had never entertained for Hugo quite that warmth of affection that one likes to see in an_ uncle toward his nearest kin, but at the present moment, he could not have appreciated him more if he had been a millionaire anxious to put up capital for a new golf course in the park. “Hoy!" he cried, much as the belea- guered garrison of Lucknow must have done to the advance guard of the re- lieving Highlanders. “Hoy!" ‘Hugo stopped. He looked to his right, then to his left, then in front of him, and then, turning, behind him. It was a spectacle that chilled in an instant the new sensation of kindness that his uncle had been feeling toward him. “Hoy!” cried Mr. Carmody. “Hugo! Confound the boy! Hugo!” For the first time the other looked Percelving Mr. Carmody in his eyrie, he stood rigid, gazing with an open mouth. He might have been pos- ing for a statue of Young Man startled by Snake in Path While About to Bathe. “Great Scot!” said Hugo, looking to his uncle’s prejudiced eye exactly like the Dartford Warbler. ‘“What on earth are you doing up there?” Mr. Carmody would have writhed in irritation had not prudence reminded him that he was 30 feet too high in the air to do that sort of thing. “Never mind what I'm doing up here! Help me down.” “How did you get there?” ever mind how I got here!” ut what,” persisted Hugo insati- ably, “is the big—or general—idea?" ‘Withheld from the relief of writh- ing, Mr. Carmody gritted his teeth. “Put that ladder up,” he said in a strained voice. “Ladder?” es, ladder.” “What ladder?” is a ladder on the ground.” Charge Accounts Solicited | number | ladders?" Newspaper Alliance and Metropolitan Bervice.) “There. No, not there. There. There | Not there, I tell you. There. There.” | Hugo, following these directions, con- cluded a successful search. “Right” he said. “Ladder, long, wooden, for purposes of climbing, one. | Correct as per memo. Now What?" “Put it up.” “Right.” “And hold it very carefully.” “Esteemed order booked,” said Hugo. “Carry on.” “Are you sure you are holding it | carefully?” “As in a vice.” “Well, don't let go.” Mr. Carmody, dying a considerable | of deaths in the process, descended. He found his nephew's curiosity at close range even more | acute than it had been from a distance. | “What on earth were you doing up there?” said Hugo, starting again at | the beginning. “Never mini SUNDAY STAR, WASHINGTON, D T, JU NE 2, 1929—PART 3. “But_what were you?" { “If you wish to know, a rung broke | and ‘the ladder slipped. | “But what were you doing on a| ladder?” | “Never mind!" cried Mr. Carmody, | regretting more bitterly than ever be- | fore in his life that his late brother, | Eustace, had not lived and died a bachelor. “Don't keep saying what— | what-—what!” “Well, wh the point. sald Hugo, conceding Mr. Carmody hesitated. His native intelligence returning, he perceived now that this was just what the great pub- lic would want to know. It was little use urging a human talking-machine like his nephew to keep quiet and say nothing about this incident. In a cou- ple of hours it would be all over Rudge. He thought swiftly. “I fancied I saw a swallow’s nest un- der the eaves.” “Swallow's nest?"” “Swallow’s nest. lCll'mody between his teeth, ow.” “Did you think swallows nested in July?” “Why shouldn't they?” “Well, they don't.” “I never said they did. said . . “No § “I ‘never . . . “April,” said our usually well informed correspondent. “What?" “April. Swallows nest in April.” “Confound all swallows!” said Mr. Carmody. And there was silence for a moment while Hugo directed his keen young mind to other aspects of this strange affair. “How long had you been up there?” “I don’t know. Hours. Since half- past_five.” “Half-past five? You mean you got up at half-past five to look for swallows’ nests in July?” “I did not get up to look for swal- ows' nests.” “But you said you were looking for swallows’ nests.” “I did not say I was looking for swal- lows' nests. I merely said I fancied I saw a swallow’s nest . . ." “You couldn’t have. Swallows don't nest in July . . . April.” The sun was peeping over the elms. h‘gr’.‘ Carmody raised his clenched fists ‘The nest,” said Mr. ! a swal- I merely low has ever nested in July.” “I did not say I saw a swallow's nest. 1 said I thought I saw a swallow’s nest MARRIED IN Why were you climbing | & MRS. CHARLES MONASTERY 1. GRIFFITH, Daughter of Mrs. Anna Davidson, before her marriage at Brookland, May 21, Miss Lillian Davidson. Dr. and Mrs. Griffith took a sea trip to Boston and are at home at 1371 Monroe street northwest. —Clinedinst Photo. “And got a ladder out and climbed up for it?” “Yes. “Having risen from couch at five- thirty ante meridian? | “Will you kindly stop asking me all these questions?” Hugo regarded him thoughtfully. “Just as you like. Well, anything further this morning? If not, I'll be getting along and taking my dip.” “I say, Ronnie, said Hugo, some two hours later, meeting his friend en route for the breakfast table, “You know my uncle?” “What about him?"” “He’s loopy. “What?" “Gone clean off his castors. T found him at 7 oclock this morning, sitting on a second floor window sill. He said he'd got up at 5:30 to look for swallows’ nests. i “Bad,” said Mr. Fish, shaking his| head with even more than his usual solemnity. “Second floor window sill, did you say?” “Second floor window sill.” | “Exactly how my aunt started,” said Ronnie Fish. “They found her sitting | on the roof of the stables, playing the ukulele in a blue dressing gown. She | saild she was Boadicea. And she | wasn't. That's the point, old boy,” said Mr. Fish earnestly. “She wasn't. We| must get out of this as quickly as pos- sible, or, before you know where you are, you'll find yourself being murdered in your bed. It's this living in the country that does it. Six consecutive months in the country is enough to sap the intellect of any one. Looking for swallows’ nests, was he?” “So he said. And swallows don't nest in July. They nest in April.” Mr. Fish nodded. ‘hat's how I alwi h rd the J B.Jones & (o 1219-1221 G Street N. W. CHIC-DELIGHTFULLY COOL AND ENSEMBLES Silk DresseS$10 FOR EVERY SUMMER NEED HE RE is style and value at its height—fresh, new models just un- packed, beautiful tub silks, fine crepes, “Yo-san,” Rajah and other similar novelty materials you can tub and find them fresh as a dals.y. Sleeved dresses, sleeveless models, jacket dresses, one and two piece dressgs, panty dresses, sun-back dresses. In beautiful pas- tel shades, glorious stripes, dots, prints in misses and women’s sizes GRADUATION AND PARTY DRESSES and extra sizes. 1014 story,” he agreed. “The whole thing looks very black to me, and the sooner you're safe out of this and in London, the better. At about the same moment, Mr. Car- Imody was in earnest conference with Mr. Molloy. “That man you were telling me about,” sald Mr. Carmody. “That friend of yours who you said would help us.” “Chimp?” “I believe you referred to him as Chimp. How “soon could you get in touch with him?” ' ht away, brother.” Portner Cafe 15th St. Bet. U and V DINNER $7] -0 Dine in comfort in our commodious, cool dining room. Fried Chicken Desirable Apts. sonably Priced Portner Apts. Charge Accounts Solicited a5 $16.7 5 RADUATION Dresées of exquisite simplicify or fluffy creations to delight any miss. Party Dresses and En- sembles, cool, crisp and beautiful, in all-white, pastel shades and lovely combinations, sleeved and sleeve- less models, ensembles with varying length jackets. A showing we believe to be unequalled at the prices. Mr. Carmody objected to being called brother, but this was no time for being finicky. “Send for him at once.” | “Why, have you given up the idea of getting that stuff out of the house | yourself?” “Entirely,” said Mr. Carmody. He shuddered slightly. “I have been thinking the matter over very carefully and I feel that there is an affair where we require the services of some third party. Where is this friend of yours? In London?” “No. He's right around the corner. | His name’s Twist. He runs a sort of | health farm place only a few miles | from here.” “Bless my soul! Healthward Ho?" “That's the spot. Do you know it?” i hy, T have only just Teturned from | there. | Mr. Molloy was conscious of a feeling { of almost incredulous awe. It was the sort of feeling that would come to a man who saw miracles happening all around him. He could hardly believe |that things could possibly run as smoothly as they appeared to be doing. {He had anticipated a certain amount of difficulty in selling Chimp Twist to Mr, Carmody, as he phrased it to him- | self, and had looked forward with not a little apprehension to a searching | inquisition into Chimp Twist'’s bona fides. And now, it seemed, Mr. Car- | mody knew Chimp personally and was, { no doubt, prepared to receive him with- |out a question. Could luck like this | hold? disturbed Mr. Molloy. | “well, 1sn't that interesting!” he said | slowly. ' “So you know my old friend, | Twist, do you?” “Yes,” saild Mr. Carmody, speaking, however, as if the acquaintanceship | were not one to which he looked back | with any pleasure. “I know him very well.” “Fine!” said Mr. Molloy. “You see, if T thought we were getting in some- body you knew nothing about and felt you couldn't trust, it would sort of worry me.” Mr. Carmody made no comment on this evidence of his guest’s nice feel- ing. He was meditating and did not hear it. What he was meditating on was the agreeable fact that money t] All Spring COATS Now s That was the only thought that | LT A e I he had been trying so vainly to recover . Twist would not be a dead He could write it off part of the working expenses of this little venture. He beamed happily at Mr. Molloy. “Healthward Ho is on the telephone, he said. now and ask him to come over here at once.” He hesitated for a moment, then came bravely to a decision. After all, whatever the cost in petrol, oil, and depreciation of tires, it was for a good object. More worl expenses. send my car for him,” he sald. If you wish to accumulate, you must inevitably speculate, felt Mr. Carmody. (To be continued) New Cloth Cures Colds. Experiments by an Irish firm of bleachers and dyers have resulted in a perfumed finish for cloth. The finish has been registered under the names of “Kirscent” and “Kolgard.” The process is stated to be an impregnation com- bined with a finish, the “Kirscent” be- ing a perfumed finish and the gard” a medicated finish. “Kirsces said to keep away mosquitos, and “Kol- gard” to prevent or rout colds. Saving Nelson’s Furniture. Efforts are being made to raise & fund to buy the furniture used by Lord Nelson on H. M. S. Victory at the time of the battle at Trafalgar, and again place it on the ship. Some of the articles have been loaned to the ship, and others are in a wine merchant’s office at Oporto, Portugal. When the Victory went to Rosia Bay after the battle, Lord Nelson's steward took the furniture from Nelson’s cabin and sold it. It is ho) to recover these articles with the others. ‘With the construction of a highway from Ethiopia to the coast of Africa, the Ethiopian government has granted an exclusive concession to a company to carry passengers and freight by motor over it. g |and great financial interests having & “Go and speak to Dr. Twist |memperance Body Denies “Lobby- “pwill | reslau M. E. CHURCH BOARD RESENTS CRITICISM ™~ ing," as Charged by Anti- Prohibition Group. A public statement denying that it conducts a political lobby in the “oppro- brious” sense of the word was issued yesterday by the Board of Temperance, Prohibition_and Public Morals of the Methodist Episcopal Church. The staiement, signed by Dr. Clarence True Wilson, general secretary, was said to be a general denial of charges that the board is a “lobby.” ‘The statement read in part follows: “It will be very clear to intelligent ple that the use of the word ‘lobby’ in attempting to arouse prejudice against the Board of Temperance, Prohibition and Public Morals of the Methodist Episcopal Church is due solely to the fact that the board vigor- ously and consistently supports prohibi- tion, a policy in controversy. It may be sald in general, the Protestant as 1 | | Church members of the country and a | very large group of Roman Catholics believe that the most determined re- sistance to the effort to re-establish a licensed liquor trade is clearly indicated by patriotism and Christianity. “No words are strong enough to_con- demn the effort to_bulldoze the Chris- tian people of the United States into a | surrender of their sacred constitutional right to petition any legislative or administrative officer of the Govern- ment against & policy which they sin- cerely believe to be contrary to the national welfare, an invasion of the right of the people to expect hostility | their Government to | on the part of commercialized evils which prey upon the helpless and are an affront to the God of justice and mercy. 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