Evening Star Newspaper, May 17, 1931, Page 99

THE SUNDAY The S. O. S. Arthur’s family, though far, far away from where Arthur usually is, is constantly in touch with him, thanks to the telegraph company. When Arthur was a’freshman in the univeisity he started right in w ing instead of writing. “Have made glee club; wire $50 im- micdiately,” and “Passed my chemistry ; wire $70 at once,” were two of the early specimens. And right on through senior year, with “Engaged to most lovely girl in world ; wire $160,” ‘at end of prom weck. Though several years out of college, Arthur still keeps the family in touch with his financial status. Here he is at the desk about to dispatch a collect message reading: “Resigned from telephone company account bettering myself, going with crockery concern.” Wire $173; urgent.” Straight telegram. “Listen, Eddie; in this telegram is ‘kidney complaint’ two words or one?” Very considerate of the customer’s purse strings is Miss Rose, the telegraph clerk, who is shown helping crowd 11 words into 10 in a paid straight message The safe arrival. “Arrived safely: Nettie met me; have Sadie clean living r_om: home Tuesday.” her anxious household back in Bismarck, N daughter-in-law's, Dak., upon arriving SN =N | no carsickness; Thus wires Aunt Lillian to at her STAR, WASHINGTON, D. C—GRAVURE “SAY IT BY WIRE” By W. E. Hill (Copyright. 1931, by the Chicago Tribune Syndicate.) The wire collect. Mrs. Edna Mudguard is having a heavy altercation with the manager of the telegraph branch over a wirc collect that came to Mrs. Mudguard's domicile and was paid for without knowledge of the contents. For it turned out to be no more nor less than a request for funds from Mr. Mudguard's no-account cousin Oscar Mudguard, and as such was of no use to anybody. Because, of course, Mr. Mud- guard and his wife will pretend they never even received the message. The comic wire. the receiving end as it was to the sender. couple of big blondes for vou. Hot stuff. Can you use redhead also? see what we are seeing in the hotel lobby. (Signed) Ed and Bozo.” plumbers' convention in Montreal, addressed to Mr. Gilley's son-in-law. Here's a night letter which reads: SECTION—MAY 17, 1931. Four out of five say it by wire, and here are four of them: Top, the hostess who wires invitations at a late hour; bottom, the lady of foreign extraction who wants to cable a money order to Lithuania or Poland and has trouble with the address; left. the young man who wires for the hotel reservation, and, right, the gentlemanly commercial traveler who wires a night message to the wife and kiddies at the end of each perfect day. . The anniversary greeting. This young man has just dispatched a message of greeting to his grandmother— this being “Remember Grandma” week. The telegraph company had several lovely stock messages on hand, such as “Love and kisses to dear grandma, the backbone of our Nation”; “Always on this glorious grandma day will I think tender thoughts of one who has reached the gloaming of life’s eventide” (costing little more), and “Tenderest thoughts and love-lit smiles greet you today, dear grandma.” A humorous message by wire is often not one-half as funny at “Saving a Boy, you should From a master Mr. Gilley and wife and daughter have mistakenly received said wire and are almost too scared to open it, thinking, no doubt, it is from Aunt Harriet Gilley saying Uncle Waldo is worse! The declined invitation. The telegraph company is a great comfort to the timid man who hates to call up a hot-tempered hostess on the day of a dinner party to say he cannot grace the festive board. He can just step ar und to the nearest tele graph desk and wire: “Called to Milwaukee on business. Awiully sorry can’t make dinner.” « Day letter. Lorena can’t wait to write. She's just got to know right off why Julius hasn't sent so much as one word since he left Wednesday, and this is Sunda Julius was a traveling salesman for an underwear house and Lorena met him in front of “Chub” Greene's gas station, where Lorena had stopped to borrow a pin or somcthing. Anyhow, they found they had much in common (Lorena working in a laundry and he dealing i clean clothing, and both liking good, clean fun), and it seemed like love at first sight. Well, Julius promised to write as soon as he got to Rochester, but he hasn’t, and the bottom has fallen out of everything for Lorena. i