Evening Star Newspaper, September 12, 1926, Page 85

Fall Return of the Three R’s Inspires Deep a THE SUNDAY STAR. \\'ASHIN(}'I‘(}A\', D. C. SEPTEMBER 12, 1926—PART_5. They Took Advantage of the Vacation To Get Better Acquainted With Junior LY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM. & Ol Mother Hubbard. the in- ventor of the worst-looking | house dress in the world, once said. “The school com- mencement which [ enjoy the one that comes in the | 1 and niost Fall.” And the cther Cieorge. that's my husband. got to thinking about how pretty soon ! school would be opened again and ow®| d»rting Junior, darn his little hide—I mean bless his liitle heart—would be s<hing his vacation and giving us a I'ttle peace around the house, why we Jinly agreed with Mother H Just be the other ¢ mmence- ment, the one which comes in the Sprng, 1 and George both had been ply to have school over so's vould see more of our dariing on> of them spells which of pavents undoubtedly gets | feeling we wasn't seeing our child. We had the we wasn't friendly enough . that we shouid try and get by, find out what was really | in his mind, and guide his | re than we had been doing. B the only taste of had 1 ng was to . dear. you eat up every ne «f them hoiled turnips this very t.or 1 am going to lick you. | day. when wi e ever them enough id with b maove ¢l on set of of going stex mo Tp to Junior s in good Or else 1 would say finish up the fat as well. you may not like it but it's good for vou, and I want you to learn to like every- thing When as a rule Junior wiould <pring one of the awful, child- like comebacks which can pretty near knock a t al, such as, “Rut. Ma, you don't eat up the fat, if i’ <o good why don’t you eat it up Which would leave me with that las defense « mother, and 1 would say, “Well, dear, I'm grown up, that’s win.” And Junior would k at me sort of as if he gready doubted it, it T expected him 1o aceept re “Now, Junio~, come to culture. why | had taught him a litte cul-| ture. but it was mostly agriculture, such as hoeing the front path, or how to tell the weeds from the radishes. | Still neither of us felt we had any- wheres near done our duty by the boy, we should mike more of a com panion out of him 1d the Summer vacation would be the very time. | I tell you. Jennie, saye ( I'm | going to make a regular chum out of | Junior this Summer, I'm goimg to | make 4 man ont of him. I'm going to | teach hini to play golf. for one thing, | yes sir. I'm going 1o have him oyt on the cotrse every day, and treat*hiem | like a regu w1, an equal, make a he-man of him, that's what. What is even furth going to have long and hikes into the we that. By Jove, he won't ever be able | 1o say his father was a stranger to him! I'm going to lay off punishing fiim and put him on his honor—just pal, that'’s what I am from now on poor kid, why I've hardly seen him except to lick him, all Winter. A . he says, I'm | alks with him, as, and all hke | | HY George dear, I says, that's just lovely. Of course even when he's at school 1 see a whole lot more of Junior then vou do, on account of his ears, underwear and meals. But I agree with you where the child ought 10 be more than a mere something to he gol after with a vacuum cleaner every often There's the spirit al and artistic side of his nature. Music is what he needs, and books. 1 personally myself intend reading all the classics alond to him this Summe 1 know. Dickens and Thackery and all them great authors. T'd be mortified 1o death if he was to grow up in ignorance of them things, I know my familv was a very cul- tured one, we had Shakespeare and | fll‘;/' '/ “HE TAUGHT ME HOW TO CARRY A G(:VLF BAG AND LET ME PRACTICE WITH HIM.” - Mrs. Rovar's Cook Book, and even a copy of Dante’s Inferno, only that was really a candy box when you opened the cover. Yes indeed, T do believe that a parent can’t begin 00 young to build up a community of interests with their | child, and I certainly want that my son and I should have tastes in com- mon such as classical music and art galleries, and who should give them to the child, only the mother? And Geo. says ves, only where are you going to get all them tastes, Jennie, I never noticed them on you yvet. And 1 sayvs that is because you don’t know them when you see them! But in spite of us exchanging a few little conventional passes such as per see above, I and George certainly was agreed on'the main subject, which was to take advantage of having Junior around the house all the time for three mons. and see a whole lot of him. Well, the first day of Junior's vac: | tion, it’ happened I was kind of bus: I had some baking to do and also it | was Thursday and I had to attend the regular meeting of our Ladies Thur day Club. So I says to Geo. rea generous, now yvou take Junior today, dear, seeing you are coming home early. I dont want to cramp your style any, go ahead, take him, don’t think of me. even. dear, I want the boy to know his father! says aw shucks, said it in’ much stronger language, aw shucks, he says, I can't today, I was goink to play a foursome with the regular gang. 1 don’t see how [ am going to get out of it. And I says well, use a opera-glass, then, and see a little ways ahead. I thought you was going to be with your boy al the very first opportun- ity, or didn’t you mean all you said? And Geo says of course 1 mean it, but for the luvva tripe, where ix the hurry, we got all Summer ahead of us! And I sald yes, dear, but 1 think we ought .to start right in with Junior before he gets a chance to commence running wild. S0 give a groan and a call for Junior, and the two of them went off and give me a chance to get a few minutes of peace and qulet and Geo. only| he | my breath, before starting for the long distance chatting contest which I hoped to win, over to the Club. * X X X ELL that night when we all got home, I thought I would start my clubby stuff with Junfor, and so T says well, dear, did Pa teach you anything about golf today? And Junior says sure, he taught me how to carry a golf bag and'let me prac- tice with his. And George says ah, ves, ves indeed, we had a real good afternoon, didn't we, son? In fact, T believe I will take him out with me every time I play. all Summer. And 1 says you will not do an: thing of the sort. George Jules, I suppose if you took the child horse- back riding vou'd let him carry the horse! And George says all right, all right go on, pick on me, since vou're golng to wise crack about it, suppose 1 give the boy up to vou, tomorrow? And T says you better had, T got a copy of the encyclopedia from a man on the Installment plan, but we are not going to read it that way, we are going to com- mence at the beginning and go right on through, and tomorrow after- noon will be a good time to start. So the next day 1 managed catch Junior before he could run off, and I says to him, come on, dear, Mommer's going to read you 1a nice story, won't that be nice? And_Junior says sure, Ma, but it won't take long, will it? I wanter go swimmin'. That wasn't a real encouraging beginning, but I felt it was my duty to give Junior a lit- tle culture if we both died of it, and at the end of 4 of a hour, we pretty nearly did. ‘Well anyways, after I had let the poor child go I got a sort of feel- ing of satisfaction out of having read to him, and honest he was very intelligent, the questions he asked, all about look up about steam en- gines, Ma, see is there somethgng about frogs, Ma, does a catfish meow, Ma? e if swordfishes carry scabbards, will va, Ma? He kept on like that until he had | me nearly crazy, the little darling!| to I do think that boy of mine Is ter- rible smart, especially when telling my friends about what he said. At the time he's saying it, I sometimes wish he was outside, playing, instead. But_just the same, the first few days Junfor was home, both I and Geo. lived up to our good resolu- tions quite a lot. We even spoke about it to each other to the effect ain't it a delight to hear his sweet voice, eh? Qid'ja notice how cute he looked falling down them cellar steps? And a whole flock of other parentlike remarks. Then about the third or fourth day of vacation Junior come to me one afternoon and he says, Aw Ma, 1 ain’t got nothing to do, read to me, will ya Ma? Out of the big book you bought? And I give one look at that lazy young one that put him in his place. Why Junior Jules, T says, you know you can read to your own self perfectly well; whatter you mean com- ing around asking me o read to you? Don't you know Mommer's busy? Run along now dear, and play So Junlor run along in and bothered Popper., instead. Say, Pop, says Ju- nior, when are you gonner teach me to play golf. Pop? Soon, Son, soon, says Geo., who busy trying to take a nap. Yeh, says Junior This afterncon? No, no, son! savs Geo. When? says Junior, tomor- row? Well, maybe, says Geo. Then will you make a man out of me this afternoon? says Junior, jumping up and down. do I get long pants with it? Can I have a watch then? WIll I be 21 when you get through making me it, Pop? “Now, now, son, says Geo..| sure, sometime soon, run away and play’ now, can’t you see that Poppa is busy? And etc. So that is why T am glad to see the commencement of school in sight. 1 got to admit where getting Junior ready for it is a lot of work. T got to get his clothes mended, find his books, dig up his overshoes and scour out his lunch-box. There is about one hundred things to get fixed before he will he ready. But believe vou me, that job is nothing compared to having him home on a vacation! (Copyright. 1926.) but when, Pop? There Are Ways to Anticipate History In the Careers of Some Great Writers BY RING LARDNER. Chapter X1 of Autobiography. o holidays were over and it was time 1o go back to Yale, then 1 have said \ chapter at Lancaster, The first haz- ard was the lhud River. which was quite difficult in those days of no bhoats « hand- some, big affie how to get about it “Take the Desbrosses street ferry he advised. At Desbrosses street and the river, however, 1 ned ‘that no ferries were running because no boats of any kind had vet been invented. 1 located previous Pa n to cross 1 asked policeman t len WHITEMAN'S ORCHESTRA, WHICH ACCOMPANIED ME.IN A TUG. found out afterwards that the traffic oliceman was none other than A. Lasker, famous two Years later the designer and builder of the first boat. At the time he spoke to me he was doubtless so full of his dream of boats that he thought they were already actually in existente. ©n the corner of Hudson and Spring streets I asked directions of a friendly Jooking vender of shoe laces. ¥ (Editor’s note: This was undoubted- ly Mary Lewis) ’ (Author’s note: No. It was a man (Editor's note: My mistake.) e told me to walk way up past . on the east bank of the river, and ook for an auto. After what 4 to me a rather tedious stroll, 1 through Troy and began Jooking all over for an auto, but! couldn’t find one. 1 told my troubles | to a farmer, who laughed heartily| and said: *“Mon, mon’ Ye are long bef moblle. Your > ‘a place in a river i cromsed by wading | Fmbarrassed and chagrined. 1 walk- | e4 Anwn to the river bank and re- poved my, shess, Aockioks and Pz (He was a Scotchman.) | ore ze day of ze auto-| ew York friend meant | where it may bei “MON, MON! (HE Z WAS A SCOTCHMAN) YE ARE LONG BEFORE | . DAY OF ZE AUTOMOBILE.” | ters. as this seemed as narrow and shoal a point as any other. “What's the idea?" inquired a deep voice, which I discovered belonged to a white-bearded old fisherman who was dredging for chocolate-covered almonde. When T told him my plan, he tried hard to discourage me. “You will never make it. No Yale man ever has, and only five Prince- tonlans. “What Princeton can do, so can Yale!” I replied, and sang two stan- zas of the Yale song, “Beulah, Beu-| lah™- Covering myselt from head to foot with grease, I stepped boldly into the treacherous stream, which at that juncture is 8 feet wide and knee deep. 1In less than half a day I was on the west bank, but wish to state that T owe my success quite as much to the eflcouragement given me by Whiteman's Orchestra, which accom- panied me in a tug. continuously play- ing “Rocked in the Cradle'of the Deep” and “Abide With M as to my fine physjque and mastery of the crawl stroke. (Editor's note: Mr. Lardner was the firet te employ the crawl streke, cov: | | |ering the entire 28 feet on his hands| and knees) | Unable to break off the habit all| at once, T crawled down to_ Albany and caught the night hoat back to New York. | (Editor’s note: Boats had by this| time been invented.) | From New York 1 crossed to Jersey | by ferry and decided to enter Prince- ton, as it was closer and I had heard there were vacancies there on the | hockey team and the mandolin |eleven. Also I was attracted by the | | promise of an octasional glimpse of { my late host's daughters, Vera and| | Bera Grudge, co-eds at Old Nassau. | Our hockey season began inau- spiciously. In the first place, mp‘i | athletic assoclation had neglected to provide a Puck and the local news- | stands had sold out. On the opening night of practice we plaved with a copy of Godey’s Lady's Book. but it | proved unwieldy Moreover. it was an open Winter in New Jersey and the lake was not frozen over. “There is no ice.” T said one eve- |ning. o Rera Grudge, who had in- quired how we were doing. ,ought to hewe some ice."” | lons or towers set where the contour I “Ring for a bell boy,” was her view of the episode. Perhaps 1 ought to explain, before proceeding, that hockey was not played quite the same way in those as it is now. The players num- d only two, and their positions were, respectively, Go Way Back and Sit Down. The records will hear me out when I say that I was the best Sit Down Princeton ever had, not even barring F. Scott Fitzgerald. In fact, I could hardly stand up during| my collegiate career. Our first big game that season was with Wesleyan, and we lost it hy de- fault, both my teammate, Carson Hull (later known as Big Rill d- wards). and_T forgetting all about it Some of the undergraduates got very angry at us for this, and for many days every time we would appear on the campus they would point at us and shout. “You bad men, vou!" (To be continued.) | stopped the train. | means nd Varied Perfect Fool Produces Clever Answers To Various Ingenious Correspondents BY ED WY R MR. WYNN mine, who just Los Angeles 1n an automo. bile, said he saw part of a railroad track under water when he was coming through Idaho. He said he heard a train whistle and he realized it was up to him to the train so he waved a “clothes-pin™ and when the engineer saw it he Sounds like apple- uce o me, doesn't it to you? Yours truly. B. HAYVE. Answer. T understand your friend thoroughly. The railroad track was under water, he waved a ‘‘clothes pin” and the engineer stqpped the train. Very simple. A ‘“clothes-pin” a wash out on the line. A friend of came from Dear Mr. Wynn: 1 who swes I never heard such language as he uses. Where in the world do vou think he learned to swear like that? Sincerely, HELEN DAMM. Answer. My dear Miss Damm, if vour uncle does what you claim for him 1 assure you he could not have learned it any -place, it must have been a gift. Dear Mr. Wynn: I vead, in this morning’s paper, where a boy killed his mother and father and the jury acquitted him. How do you account for that? Truly your: POLLY TICK Answer. The jury probably was lenient with him because he was an orphan. have an uncle Dear Mr. Wynn: I am a tailor and am at a loss to know why I am hav ing so many complaints about my clothes. The strange thing is that my customers all say the same thing. They claim that my coats wear out twice as quickly as the rest of the suit. Can you possibly tell me how to make my coats last? Yours truly, A. STITCHENTYME. Answer. Make your pants and vests first. Dear Mr. Wynn: 1 met a boy at a dance last night, and I like him very much. During our conversation. though, it seemed to me as if he was bragging a bit. brother lives in England and that he sits before the King and Queen every day and keeps his hat on. Do you be- lleve that? Sincerely, ROCCA BIBABY. Answer. Sure I do. He is their chauffeur. Dear Mr. Wynn: T am the mother of a very bad hoy 10 vears of age. Yesterday his daddy gave him 10 rs from morning Uil night. | He sald that his| | | ave | DicK MACKAY =ie g i BB T “TWIT SEEMED TO ME AS IF HE WAS BRAGG cents to spend. 1le went out and bought 10 cents worth of nails. you tell me what he bought the nails | for? Yours truly, VINNIE GAR. Answer. Yes, for 10 cents. ‘ We had an argu- | ment al our house last night about young men getting married. Some of the folks said that most of the | boys who marry when they are very, very voung ave usually dark haired. | Is that teue? Yours truly, JENNY RAYTOR. Answer. 1 ix not true. You will | find that boys who marry when they are extremel ung are generally all light headed. Dear Mr. Wynn: Dear Mr. Wynn: One of my neizh bors has a son who Is now about 22 | years of age. For the past 10 years | he has been a lazy, shiftless boy. He Can |a ran away from home three weeks ago and yesterday his father got etter from him saying he was in the movies and gettinga salary of $2,000 a week. Can you imagine it? Sincerely. H BIWIM. Answer. | don’'t believe it. Dear Mr. Wynn: I know a man who told me he was going to get mar- ried just for the fun of it ied, but got a dive a half later. What wa that? Truly yours, e a year and the idea of AL. E. MONTE. Tie told you he got mar-’ He got m That's Answer. vied for the fun of it. ried and then got a divorce. | where the fun comes in. Dear Mr. Wynn: | am a *poor hard time ma I widow and have T can imagine it, but 1} both ends meet. T now find out that [ could make some extra money by | taking in washing. I don't know any people who send out their wash | pleasé tell me the best way to wet in touch with those kind of people will you? Yours truly, 1. VORESOP an add In as follows hing." | | Answer | newspapers to read | Poor Widow Needs Wa | sive your address. the \ Then Just put T asked a woman 1 know where her brother was and she sald he was out West mining. [ asked her what he was mining and she said, “Mining his own businese.” Don’t you think she was fresh? Y. truly, BUDA | Answer next THE Dear Mr. Wynn: week. = PERFECT | | | FOOL. Back to School for the Business Man Who Wants to Recall the Dear Old Days TEPHEN LEACOCK. OME excellent people, as they pass from youth to middle age, hegin to look back with regret to their davs at school. idea grws in their minds that their school days were the happiest period in their lives. Many a prosperous business man pauses in the Intervals of his lunch at the club, or stands a moment pen- sive on his golf course, to recall with wistful longing the days when he was a hoy at school. “Yes, sir.” he says {0 himself or to his neighbor, I didn’t know it at the time, but those cer- tainly were happy days.” And his neighbor. between the puffs of a Ha- vana cigar, agrees with him. So let us see what it was really like. Come back with me for one morn- ing in school. You, my good friend, prosperous business man and happy head of a household, you will be good enough to transport yourself in fancy back to your school days. Come along to school with me and let us see how you like it. And, by the way, hurry up! School hegins at 9 a.m. and you have to be there. I know that you generally get to your office at 9, but then if you don't arrive there nothing hap- pens. This morning, if you are not there at 9, there's going to be trouble. A man nearly twice as high as you are and weighing three times as much will intervlew you about it. In pro- portion to your present size—that is, 0 as to reproduce your proper school- boy impression—he would be 11 feet high and weigh half a ton. And his proposition to you would be that if vou can't come to school on time you and he will have a few words to say about it. However, luekily we needn't worry this time. By good luck here: we are at school right on time. But, say. for Heaven's sake! throw away gar! Have you forgotten that you an't smoke school! Now vou can stand up and pray for five minutes—that will do you a AERIAL TRAMWAY TO MOUNTAIN TOP. OUNT WHITNEY'S crest, 14,501 | feet above sea level. the loftiest peak in continental United States, will soon be accessible ‘without climbing An aerial tramway of cables stretched from crag to crag will support elec- trically propelled cars to haul passen- gers up and down the mountain in a fraction of the time required for the foot journey and without the attend- ant risks. The project, which will open a new world to the traveler and the sclentist alike, is expected to cost $350.000, says Popular Mechanics, and engineers de- clare that it should be finished by late Autumn. A Federal permit has heen | granted, and orders for the 1,100 tons of steel required have heen prepared. The tram. although reaching nearly two-thirds of a mile higher, is similar to that which has been operating safe- Iy and successfully in the Chamonix ‘alley. France, to the top of the Au- guille du Midi, one of the steep nee- dles of the Mont Blanc chain. There two cables are supported by steel py | necessitates, and. the ‘cars, of steel and aluminum, with a capacity of 20 persons each, g0 up and dewn alter- nately, counterbalancing in part and P g each other midway The Mount Whitney skyway will re- quire 63 supporting towers, enzineers calculate, frem 40 to 90 feet high.and vlaced 20 to 2,000 feet apart. together with two immense tension pylons. The | cables alone will weigh 315 tons.| Power will be furnished from one of the Los Angeles stations. H The journey from the to the top will be made hour and 15 minutes, it At times passengers whl from the cars on lakes ttoms nearly a mile below them the crest of the peak a 40 crete hotel with a cupola for tion purposks will he eracted this “roof of the United | base station in about an is expected. | look down | | valley \t * and | “We | its chilly atmosphere the traveler can see one of the hottest spots in the world, Death Vailey, 100 miles awa Thirty other peaks, each more than 14,000 feet high and many more of altitude in excess of 12,000 feet will be visible from the hotel. A down- ward glance on the east side of the peak will reveal a shining lake at the foot of & sheer cliff, 3,000 feet high. Mount Whitney was first climbed in 1873, and #ince then has heen the scene of numerous adventures and sci- entific achievements. It was here that Dr. W. W. Campbell, president of the iversity of California, ob- tained data as to the amount of water | vapor and oxygen in the atmosphere of Mars, and last Fall Dr. Robert Millikan climbed it to further inves- tigate the so-called “cosmic ray. ] Oceans of Gold. HERE is gold in sea water, but it will never make any one rich. Prof. Fritz Haber, the German chem- ist, warns possible investors against plausible schemes for boiling the wealth of Croesus out of the ocean. Gold in exceedingly minute quan- tities is found everywhere in the oceans of the world. but ®uriously enough the water and the floating ice | about four the The near the North Pole assay times as much as water from warmer portions of the globe. average concentrativn of the precious | metal in the 5,000 samples analyzed by Dr. Haber is only about one one- | hundredth of a milligram, or three one-millionths of an ounce, to the ton: 50 that he has characterized an at tempt to recover paying quantities of gold from the sea as “a searchsfor a very small and doubtful needle in a large haystack.” . Natural. “That's a flaming tie you have on.” “Bure. I got it at a fire sale.” that | “A MAN NEARLY TWICE AS HIG! THREE TIMES AS MUCH whole lot of good—-and then we'll go right into the arithmetic class. Take your that little wooden bench, you don’t have a cush- fon—and let's begin the arithmetic, the very same thing that you must have enjoyed so hugely in those old | days vou talk ahout st question for you “John has 87 marbles, but he gives seven-ninths of them to Edwin. who in _turn gives Arthur four-fifths of the difference between what he keeps and what John had at the start. How many marbles has Edwin?’ ‘What! You can't answer it? But, my dear sir, that's the very kind of ing every day. What? You say you will get vour stenographer to do it.| Yes, but in school you don’t have a stenographer. Come along, try other. “Mary is 20 vears old. Mary is twice as old as Anne was when Mary was as old as Anne is now. How old is Anne?” Stuck again? And yet you are so fond of explaining to the children at home what a whale you were in arith- | metic. 1'm afraid that your chance of getting out at 4 is beginning to look mighty poor. No game of golf for you today. Not if that men 11 feet high knows it Well. let the arithmetic go. Perhaps next time vou see vour children work- ing out “homework in a corner of the living room, you'll be a little more compassionate. But just before we leave arithmetic wouid you like to realize about ow much of it you real- Iv have left? This—the followingy-is about your present size: “A and B play billlards. | made 11 points, gains 3 more. | many has he now? | | this “A and B play bridge. A. having lost 67 cents, offers in pavment $1 | How much must B return to A in or- I A, having How . | der to equate the difference | So you can see just where you stand |as compared with the wonderful chil- dren of ours. Let's go on to the next | class. Oh! you'd like to stop a few minutes and light a cigar! Can't be done. Don't you remember that in the dear old happy days, school never stopped. You'd like to telephone? You are not allowed to telephone. | You've just remembered that you wanted to g0 down the street and huy some fishing tackle? Well, yvou cant g0 down the street. Not till after |and perhaps not even then. Come on |into the next class and z0 en with the dear old happy days. This time it i8 geo‘rlvhy. We are going to learn the ri » | thing that your little son of 10 is do-1 an-| Or perhaps you might even manage | ol H AS YOU ARE AND WEIGHING WILL INTERVIEW YOU.” America. Don't vou fascinating it was?” Let's begin now. .Just say them over a few times—the Amazon with its h hes. the Madeiro, the Puro, the 1 all, the Ukuleke— Wha You've forgotten the first one already? Start again—the Ma deire, the Madingo, the Colorado Claro, | the Hari Kari, the Berri-Berrl. ' Eh! How's that? It just occurs to you that all these fool names are crazy and that there's no sense in learning them. You can just as well tell your Stenographer to call up the express company and ask them. Yes, but don’t you remember that in the dear old school days vou had to learn this kind of stuff by the yard? Never mind, we'll let vou off the remaining |40 minutes of geography. CCome along j1and let's have a whirl at English :ll(erature. i Ah! now vou really brighten up. | It's a favorite theory of yours that !(hP literature class was a real treat, jor at least that if you listened to your teacher {you would have got vour whole life. | Let's see. This is the class of { English poetry and the children are | to study Gray's Elegy. remember how proper| { tions. First of all {read out a verse— | ““The hoast of heraldry, the pomp of i power, And all that beauty, all that wealth e'er gave | Await alfke the inevitable hour. | The paths of glory lead but to the | grave.” the teacher will | Now come the questions: | Boast—first hoy, how do you dis. { tinguish hoast from boost?"" | “Would it be an improvement, sec- ond hoy, to say “The boost dr; Distinguish this again, third . from ‘the booze of heraldry.'" Heraldry—fourth boy, what is the reek for this?” 1 Now in the next line, fifth boy ‘all that beauty.’ All what beauty? {1 And in the line below, sixth boy, | lead but to’: explain the difference between but to and but in."” “Now for the whole class —take vour exercise books and write a life | ba | of the Poet Gray, being particular to | that reham Salts, ! You ean't stand it any | more! s You want break away and make a rush, for vour ciub. = How Jeozy it will feel when vou seat yout y prosite Fivae Lo afie vhen you light vp a cigar as huge and dark as the Amazon itself. How | remember [born in ¢ in his grandfather Hants was or perhaps only hadlgaig " [ has more than 100 bl: something for Now sit tight | {in vour seat and listen for the ques-| 4 | | | suggest that he will cut you off { five-eighths of two-thivds of the steak | and keep the rest warm for twice as many minutes as half the time need- ed to eat the remainder. I tell vou, sir, that as you sit there with your napkin te vour chin and look the Spring sunlight on the voung leaves vou have reason to feel happy that your school days are over. You are wondering whether you will | take half an hour's map hefore you take the train to the golf club. And meantime the little hoys are just go ing back to school, to give the Am- azon another K Won't vou henceforth. my dear sir, larop that stuff about the happy school days and try to make it up to the little sufferers when the holidays begin again? . Steam Reservoirs. T is of course the usue thng for a city to have a few reserve reser voirs to guard against interruption of the water supply, but a Swedish city | has extended the principle, having | constructed two steam reservolrs. These are two large iron tanks, hold- ing a reserve supply of steam for the “ity's hydro-electric plant. Enough is | held here to operate the generators for an hour or more. The tanks are filled to within 90 per cent of their capacity with water raised to a temperature considerably above what its boiling point would be | in the open air. When steam {s drawn | off more is instantly available. A rela | tively small boiler is sufficient to keep | the accumulators charged and ready for service. The insulation is such | that heat losses are negligible even in | low temperatures outdoor Auto. | matic valves keep the pressure in the | tanks constant. The King's Plate. King George's plate at Winds Palace is valued at nearly $10.000 000, | Tt includes a gold service, ordered by | George 1V for 140 persons, and one | of the finest wine coolers in the w |added to the collection of the { monarch; a shield formed of boxes worth $i5000, and 30 plates worth $50.000. Thera s also a varlety of pleces brought from the colonial and Eastern possessions. The latter include a peacock made of pre- cious stones of every description, | worth $150,000, and Tippoo’s foodstool, |a tiger's head with crystal teeth, the | tongue being a =olid ingot of gold. | Among the royal plate at Windsor Castle i3 a knife which was presented to George IV by the cutlers of Shef les. What We Talk About. analysis of 500 conversations overheard in Columbus, Ohio, on the street, at games and in theater lobbies, barber shops and churches, fs reported in the Journal of Compara- tive Psychology. Men's most frequent con topics were: Business, 40 per cent; sports and amusements, 15 per cent, iand talk about other men, among themselves, 12 per cent. The leading topic of women's conversation was 22 per cent: clothes came in 19 per cent. and, among them- about other women, 15 per | I Ax { | reational of her-| | How Lemonade Sweetens. | [LEMONADE becomes sweeter if it is 144" allowed to stand for an hour or | two after being made. The cane sugar in the lemonade is converted into the I much sweeter mixture of the two sim | pler sugars, glucose and levulose. The | process is somewhat similar to that | which takes place in the stomach i\\ hich we call “digestion.” | & Poison Sawdust. Scattering sawdust from airplanes « the latest device in the war on mos- uitoes. The United Statex Marine Corps I8 trying the experiment. The { sawdust is immersed in a weak soli- It ter and arsenic and is sald | [ not to be injurious tu ssn. hirds er persons because of the dilution of the | n of w lvers of South glad you are that the walter will not polson.