Evening Star Newspaper, April 10, 1932, Page 76

f S HIS is a story based upon what two other authors have said. Nearly all stories have been based upon what other authors have said since Beowulf and Homer—and we don’t know how much they were irdebted to their un- known predecessors. Only I'm two up on Homer, because I'm using a credit line. The two other authors are Oscar Wilde and Edna Ferber. Oscar said that Nature copies art, and Edna said— LLY HAYDEN had a perfectly good job in a Washington Heights specialty shop and a perfectly good boy friend in Zach Collins. The job paid 28 perfectly good dollars a week, and all but eight she had for herself, because she lived in a perfectly good Washington Heights apartment with her parents, and $8 satisfied them perfectly well as her weekly contribution to the family budget. Zach was a 45-dollar-a-week salesman and spent 20 of it on Polly. He could do that and still be a quietly natty dresser because his board and room with his married brother set him back only 15. He had authentically glossy brown hair with & manly natural wave in it, gay brown eyes and the usual other features, which added up so that girls in the buyers’ offices called him “Good Looking,” and thought he was. His line was amusing, if not brilliantly original, and he slid a snaky foot in the slow, seductive rhythms of the latest dance steps. Other girls were quite aware of his attrac- tions, and efforts to detach him from Polly were not infrequent. But Zach failed to reg- ister anything save wise-cracking camaraderie, and the understanding was that when he got his raise to 60—which was promised as soon as things took a turn—there would be one less vacancy in a new apartment house on the Heights. Now what, looked at practically, could be sweeter than that? Check. But Polly had been reading the papers—and thinking. What another author, Mr. Long- fellow, called the long, long thoughts of youth. I don’t think he said anything about their depth. And she remarked to Zach, over a soda in the buffet of the Lilacland Dance Gardens, “I see where Edna Ferber says the youth of this eountry is only 12 years old.” “I'm 13,” grinned Zach. *“I still got the birthday candles to prove it.” “She says all we do is wise-crack around and there isn't any youth movement in America.” “Boy,” commented Zach, “the way this youth moved today was nobody’'s business. Up to Ninty-sixth street, down to Fourth, across to Tenth avenue, over to First—back to Fifth and up to Seventy-second—and notta sale. S'tough. Whaddyuh mean, no youth movement?” “She says on the ship coming back from Europe all the young folks did was say ‘Yeah’ and ramp around the decks.” 1IIN\/EAH? Well, what did she expect 'em to do? Sit in the library and study? On a boat—with decks full of games and maybe a swimming pool and a good orchestra? That's the bunk. “Look, that gives me a hunch. Whaddyuh say we pipe down on our regular parties for a month or two, you save your jack and I'll put mine in the sock, and we'll go on one of these week end ocean trips. Fifty, 60 bucks apiece and we can swing it and have a fine time. “Don’t be like that—I mean on the level, of course, baby—you in a cabin with a nice old dame and me at the other end of the boat. Dancing and swimming and swell feed and a decent cocktail before meals—ramp! And how we would ramp! You said it. Let’s go, lady.” But Polly, using that lovely golden head of hers for thinking, and pursing that 12-year-old girl mouth of hers, and turm#eg her pellugid THE SUNDAY STAR, WASHINGTON, D. C, APRIL 10, WANTS A WISE CR But Zach’'s quick temper was “Get Hap Jameson and his wife to take you home!” s jumped to his feet. ko 3 blue eyes upon him with a slightly vague ex- pression, seemed unstirred by his enthusiasm. “You see,” she said, “all you do is wise- crack, when you ought to be serious about things.” “But I am serious, Honey. mean it, let's——" “I don’t mean serious about going on a crazy trip. I mean serious about serious things.” “What serious things?"” “Why, er—reparations and—and interna- tional er—things, and how to save the world and like that. Instead of wise-cracking and saying ‘And how’ and ‘You said it,’ and not having anything but a 12-year-old mind.” “Yeah? So I've got a 12-year-old mind, have I? And you and this Miss Fever, or whatever her monicker is, are going to raise me up to be at least 15, hey?” “Wait, listen, Zach. I didn’t mean—I only said—well, I meant we younger generation ought to think more and——" But Zach's quick temper was up and Zach's ego was injured. “If you don’t practically call me a moron, I'm only 2 years old. And maybe you're right at that. I guess I must be a moron to spend all my coin on you and think I stood ace high with you, and not realize you were just playing me for a 12-year-old sucker.” Now Polly was mad. “Well, you certainly are a moron if you haven’t sense enough to see I meant what I mean and not what you mean.” “Oh, yeah? 1Is zat so? Well, I know what you mesan, all right, and that’s plenty for me. I see Hap Jameson and his wife are over there a couple of tables. Get them to take you home.” He jumped to his feet. “You're walking out on me just be- cause——?" “Just because I know where to get off. Right! Check! You said it! And how!” He stalked away. A couple of 12-year-olds? said a mouthful. And how! I Miss Ferber, you OLLY was to have ample time for the long, long thoughts of youth about Serious Things. She and Zach had quarreled before, but always made it up in the taxicab. Many a happy home has been set up because of the taxi drivers’ habit of slewing around corners and throwing shy or quarreling lovers into each other’s arms. Many a happy home has been broken up by the same habit, too, but this isn’t that kind of a story. This time there wasn't any taxicab and she and Zach clenched their grievances separately to their resentful hearts, with no sudden bump of body to body to loosen that clutch. They were both not only angry, but just terribly, terribly hurt. Why, thought “Polly at considerable length, shculd Zach get all hot and bothered when she had just merely suggested he ought to think about life and have ideas about some- thing besides wise-cracking and who would win the world series, for instance. As Miss Ferber said, youth was the hope of the world and & girl certainly had a right to try and make a man realize he could at-least pay a little attention to big problems once in 1932, i l a whilee. And he knew perfectly well she hadn't called him & dumb—a moron or said he was 12 years old, but simply that she meant we all ought to use our beans—our minds, and be our age instead of acting like 12 years old. Well, if he was going to take it that way, it probably proved he wasn't much more than that old and it was just as well she found it out, because wouldn’t it be terrible to be mar- ried to a moron and not find it out until after- ward? And having him saying “Check” and “Yeah” and “You said it,” and knowing you couldn’'t have any intelligent conversation with him about the real things of life. So she guessed she was lucky and if he didn't come around and apologize it would be so much velvet with all the time she’d have to study and read up on youth movements and how to save the world and such. And if he did come around and apologize—— Polly had lots of time to plan her technique on that, too, for Zach didn’t come around to apologize, and though Polly was first to the telephone when it rang at home or in the shop, Zach’'s warm voice didn't come wise-cracking over the wire. By the time she realized Zach wasn't going to call, she was too injured to give him a ring, and after a day or two more of brooding over the situation, she sighed, “Well, that's that"— and with the normal resiliency of youth took up cheerfully and enthusiastically the task of fitting herself for the Youth Movement. Yeah? Zach’s thoughts, after the row, weren't long, but they were intense. “A 12-year-old, eh? That's what she thought? Well, that's oke. We'll leave it lay like it looks. I'm not gonna crawl on my hands and knees and beg her to kick this poor sap again. I'm through. If she calls up I'll simply say——" That particular train of thought was side- tracked by a phone call when Zach, still steam- ing, arrived at his brother’s flat. It was an important call, and had to do with the Real Things of Life. As we’ll see later. Now if the gentle reader of this tale is won- dering what Oscar Wilde's remark quoted in the second paragraph has to do with it, he is invited to note that Nature, in the delectable and kissable but not brilliantly intellectual per- son of Polly, was copying art as expressed in the attitude of the charming and intellectual Miss Ferber. Hence Polly's sincere but perhaps hazy ex- pression of the Idea of the Youth Movement to Zach, and hence the misinterpretation of the expression and the logical quarrel. Hence again—excuse it, please—the situation as it exists at this point. Polly trying to read the books the librarian suggested for her and making pretty heavy going of it. Polly attending talks and readings and seminars held of evenings in the library. Polly absorbing a good many phrases but not much exact information. Polly finding the Earnest Youth not so hot as entertainers. And we have Polly finding out, at last, that gay, brown eyes, and a manly wave of brown hair, and a quirkish smile, and a certain easy sophistication with a practical world, and an ability to get along in it, and lips that kissed (KER It takes two to make a quarrel--- and two lovers to make a silly one By Berton Braley Hllustrated by Dorothy Urfer, deftly and tenderly, and arms that one nestled in so comfortably, and—and, oh, ev were the Serious Things of Life, and that li Zach would come back he could be eight years old and that would be plenty old enough for her. And Zach? Zach getting a telephone eall the night of the quarrel—and Zach cantering up the gtairs to the walk-up where Polly lived— one month later. Zing-g-g. Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap—six steps to the door. “Ooh! ZACH!" Zach didn't say a word. But he said a lok So did Polly. A two-minute kiss says various things, not always quotable, but this one said we've been so hungry for each other and didn’t you come sooner and where have you been and hold me close and don't let me go and this is the only world that matters and my dear, my honey, my darling All that and more. Of course, they did become vocal after B time. Zach first. “Here’s the lowdown, Honey. Excuse the slang, I havent cured it yet. Here are the facts: “After our fight I went home all steamed up, I mean irritated, and before I had a chance to cool down the phone rang and it was my boss. Seemed there was an out-of-town aee count they had to go after and there weren't any of the regular traveling men they could get hold of, so the boss wants me to go. : “So, of course, I went. Well, I landed the account and then got a wire to stay out om the road and cover the territory. Honest, Baby, I was so busy the first three days % didn’t hardly think of you. “That make you mad? Leave it lay—let it rest. When I did have a few minutes $o think, I said to myself, ‘No. There's somes= thing in what the kid says. She didn’t mean I was a moron, she meant I didn't use my pese fectly good bean~brain on things worth while? “So I read all the stuff from Europe and bought the highbrow magazines and got me & book or two, and I guess in time I'll be good enough 40 rate as a buck private in the Youth Army. Anyhow I'll try to be serious enough to suit you, if I get bilious trying.” Polly hugged him tight and kissed him, “Listen,” said Polly excitedly. “I've tried serious thinking, and it isn’t anything to write home about. Know what I think? I think the serjous things of life are being happy and hawe ing a boy friend who knows how, and wise= cracking if you feel like it and are any good ag it, and dancing and loving each other, and when you get your raise marrying each othes, And if that's being 12 years old it's jake with me.” “Woof!” said Zach, with a sigh of enormous relief. “Atta girl! Check! Wotta relief! Now get ready for the big thrill, Baby. I've made good on the road and I'm getting 65 and slated for a hundred in a year. I saved that up %0 wow you with if I found you still wanted me around. “Whaddyuh say we get married right awag Tomorrow—and grab off a three-days’ honeys moon on the week end trip of the President Johnson? Will you?” “Check,” said Polly, and kissed him. Fig Shipments Held Up HOP!P'UL exporters shipped about $,000,009 pounds of figs to this country last yeam, but the eagle eye of Uncle Sam’s food inspecs tion service held up at least 25 per cent of the shipments because of substandard condie tions. The more than 2,000,000 pounds dew tained were held up primarily because of worminess, moldiness, short weight or faflure to supply the necessary certificate of sanitary handling. Bad as that figure was from the exporter's point of view it was better than that of the previous year for in 1930 at least a third of the importations were held up. Three Slaughter 517 Duchs T is well for the fair-minded hunter, & well as the duck population that all hunters are not of the type of three recently arrested in Illinois. The three in question fell afoul of the Federal migratory-bird treaty act, for they not only killed their ducks after the season had closed, but they bagged 517 ducks and one wild goose which was exactly 427 birds more than the law would permit even in the shoot- ing season.