Evening Star Newspaper, April 24, 1930, Page 33

THE EVENING STAR, WASHINGTON, D. C., THURSDAY,; APRIL 24, 1930. THE EVENING STORY One. of World-Famous The Dumb-Waiter. BY FREDERICK S. COZZENS. (Prederick Swartwout Cozzens, 1818-1869, Ders.” 3 We have put a dumb-waiter in our . A dumb-waiter is a good thing to have in the country, on account o its convenience. If you have company, eve g _can be sent up from the kitchen without any trouble; and if the baby gets to be unbearable, on account of his teeth, you can dismiss the com- plaint by stuffing him in one of the shelves and letting him down upon the help. To provide for contingencies, we had | all our floors deafened. In consequence, | you cannot hear anything that is going on in the story below; and when you are in the upper room of the house, there might be a Democratic ratification meet- | 1d not know should break us, but to please Mrs. Sparrowgras put stout iron bars in all the lower win- dows. Besides, Mrs. Sparrowgrass had bought a rattle when she was in Philadelphia; such a rattle as watchmen carry there. This is to alarm our neighbor, who, upon the signal, is to come to the res- cue with his revolver. He is a rash man, prone to fire first and make inquiries afterward. One evening Mrs. Sparrowgrass had retired and I was busy writing when it struck me a glass of ice water would be palatable. So I took the candle and a pitcher and went down to the pump. Our pump is in the kitchen. A country pump in the kitchen is more convenient; ut a well with buckets is certainly more picturesque. Unfortunately, our well water has not been sweet since it was cleaned out. First I had to open a bolted door that lets you into the basement hall, and then T went to the kitchen door, which proved to be locked. Then I remem- bered that our girl always carried the key to bed with her and slept with it under her pillow. Then I retraced my steps, bolted the basement door, and went up into the dining room. As is always the case, I found, when I could not get any water, I was thirstier than I supposed I was. ‘Then I thought I would wake our girl up. Then I concluded not to do it. Then I thought of the well, but gave that up on account of its flavor, Then I opened the closet doors; there was no | water there; and then I thought of the | dumb-waiter! The novelty of the idea made me smile. I took out two of the movable shelves, stood the pitcher on the bottom of the dumb-waiter, got in myself with the lamp; let myself down until I supposed I was within a foot of the floor below, and then let go! | We came down so suddenly that I ‘was shot out of the apparatus as if it| had been a catapult; it broke the pitch- er, extinguished the lamp, and landed me in the middle of the kitzhen at mid- night, with no fire and the air not much above the zero mark. The truth is, I had miscalculated the distance of the | descent—instead of falling one foot, I had fallen five. My first impulse was to ascend by the | ‘way I had come down, but I found that impracticable. Then I tried the kitchen door; it was locked. I tried to force it open; it was made of 2-inch stuff, and held its own. Then I hoisted a window, and there were the rigid iron bars. If ever I felt angry at anybody, it was at myself for putting up those bars to please Mrs. Sparrowgrass. I put them up, not to keep people in, but to keep people out. 1 laid my cheek against the ice-cold barriers and looked out at the sky; not a star visible; it was as black as ink overhead. Then I thought of Baron Trenck and the prisoner of Chillon. ‘Then I made a noise. I shouted until T was hoarse u;.la once & month and by older dogs the ruined -our preserving kettle with poker. That brought our dogs out in | GLOVER’S Tape Worm Capsules. For full bark, and between us we made night hideous. Then I thought I| heard a voice and listened —it was Mrs. Sparrowgrass calling to me from the top of the staircase. I tried to make her hear me, but the informal dogs united with howl, and growl, and bark, so as to drown my voice, which is naturally plaintive and tender. Besides, there were two bolted doors and double deafened floors between us. How could she recognize my voice, even if she did hear it? Mrs. Sparrowgrass called once or tyice and then got frightened. The next thing I heard was a sound as if the roof had fallen in, by which I understood that Mrs. Sparrowgrass was Works of Literature springing the rattle. That called out our neighbor, already wide awake; he came to the rescue with a bull terrier, a Newfoundland pup, a lantern and a revolver., ‘The moment our nefghbor saw me at the window he shot at me, but fortu- nately just missed me. I threw myself under the kitchen table and ventured to expostulate with him, but he would not listen to reason. In the excite- ment I had forgotten his name and that made matters worse. It was not until he had roused up everybody around, broken in the base- ment door with an ax, gotten into the kitchen with his savage dogs and shooting iron and seized me by the collar, that he recognized me — and then he wanted me to explain it! But what kind of an explanation could I make to him? I told him he would have to wait until my mind was composed and then I would let him understand the whole matter fully. But he never would have had the particu- lars from me, for I do not approve of neighbors that shoot at you, break in your door and treat you in your own house as if you were a jailbird. He knows all about it, however. Somebody has told him—somebody tells everybody everything in our village, / CURIO HUNTERS IMPERIL VALUABLE INDIAN RELICES ANN ARBOR, Mich. (#).—Priceless records of former human life are being destroyed “at a rate incredible to those not in touch with the situation,” says Dr. €arl E. Guthe, director of the Mu- seum of Anthropology, University of Michigan. ‘These records are Indian relics which Dr. Guthe says become almost valueless to tell the story of tribes, nations and customs now extinct unless they are studied in the original mounds where unearthed. He lays the destruction both to curio hunters and to amateur archeologists. He suggests that vandalism may be checked by correcting an erroneous im- prestshm J{mt ucheo}oglcal objects have a P il “Sloan’s | Lir!imeni | Spring health Aids The*“turn”of theseasonisa critical time for yourdog. Give him careful treatment now, and he will be the happy, spirited companion you want him to be. GLOVER'S Condition Pills or Iron Tonic (liquid). . ... each a real tonic, appetizer, stimu- ant and digestant. 65c. GLOVER'S Rousnd Worm Capsulesor Fer - muge (lguid). Needed by puppies regularly 4 times & year. 65e. g8 and foxes. 65c. -uzes Pills comforting to Sold at drug stores. pet shops, kennels and sporting g00ds stores. 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