Evening Star Newspaper, December 12, 1926, Page 95

THE OTHER DAY 3@ Ty TH I route from Los Angeles to to New York vou feel that the trip is practically over. “I feel that the trip is practically over,” I suu w .. driver. e slowed down his car at a street crossing and leaned around to reply. “Verhaps it 1s,” he said, “and per- haps it ain't. You know,” he added, “Rome wasn't bullt in a day.” “But we aren't going to Rome,” 1 made haste to assure him. - “We're going to New York.” 1 knew you wasn't going to Rome,” he said. ' ‘Rome wasn't built day’ is just a way I have of something, only in my own way That's very interesting.’ “And did you make it up vourself” Practically,” he replied “Well, well,” I sald. “‘Rome wasn't built in a day’ I must remember that.” “You can change it. too.” on, “like, for example, ‘Minneapolis wasn't built in a day’—or St. Louis- or any place you want to bring in. > you made up any other prov. sked W v he went Sure, all the time. I'm working on one nos that goes something like this. ‘Do’ bite the hand that's feeding vou.' How's that?" & ellent,” 1 replied, “and my wife here thinks the same. When do you think you will be finished with {t?” Before he had time to reply we had come to a jam in the traffic, and that, combined with the noise of the ele. vated overhead. made conversation fairly dificult for a while. Finally we got onto the Michigan boulevard and ithings went better. “This is Michigan boulevard,” sald. “I know it.” I replied. live in Chicago. I love i “Love me, love my dog.” was his answer. “Whereabouts did vou live? “I was in the navy,” I replied. he T used to “HOW HEN you get to Chicago en | T agreed. | he replied: “1 make them up | used to sleep down on the Municlpal | Per.” | “That mented. Were you in it?" I asked. Sure,” he replied. “I was an en- sign.” |1 was a gob,” “For the whole war?" he asked. | “For the whole war,” I replied. | “You must have been awful dumb,” i was some navy,” he com- 1 said said he. “I was very near-sighted,’ | defense. He looked around at me. “I bet you was,” he said ““Honest,” 1 ted. took off my glas thing.” He seemed d wife for co' rmation. Can 1 see thing?” I asked her. | She leaned :orward and spoke plead- | Ingly to the driver. My husband speaks the truth,” said. “Won't u please belfeve him ‘“‘Ask me to see something,” I added challengingly, “and I'll bet I can't.” The traffic signals were set against us and the car came to a stop. “How much will you bet?" the driver. **Ten dollars,” I replied “I'd like to take five of that,” of- fered my wife. “lI don't lilke to bet with women,” said the driver. “I can never forget that my mother was a woman.” “I respect your feelings,” I said. ¥ mother was a woman, too."” “Live and let live,” said the driver. “Fiddlesticks,” said my wife. “That's just an expression of hers,” 1 explained. mean that she plays the violin. “I like good violin music,” driver. I took in some | certs here during the war." “Aren’t there any now?” I asked. “I don't have time for them any more,” he replied, sorrowfully. “‘Some- times I think that the happlest days of my life were spent here in the navy. But I don't want you to think,” was my “Look 1 “I can't see a ibtful. 1 turned to he asked well con ET?” ASKED THE DRIVER. “It doesn’t necessarily | ar THE SU. AY STAR, WASHINGTON, D. C. DECEMBER 12, 1926—PART he added, “that I would be at all in favor of another war." “Of course not,” 1 agreed. “Say,” he went on, “do something? “What?" T asked T've got up a t0o,” he replied. hear how it goes? Sure,” 1 said Well, it goes like th tinued. *‘War js—'" He stopped and looked around at my wife inquiringly you know overb about war, Would you like to he con- “I'll give you odds,” offered the dri ver, becoming a little frightened “Call the wagon,” insisted the zzceman. “And this gent inside,” continue the driver, indicating me with hi thumb, “was just a common sailor. The two policeman peered into the cab. “I was very near sighted,” 1 said, “and my glasses kept coming off. “There's somebody in there po. “Can T speak frankiy?" he asked. “Go ahead.” she said. “You're sure she won't mind?" he | asked me. | “Of course not,” T replied. He considered a minute and shook his head. No,” he said, 1 guess T'd better | I'm sort of old fashioned that | " he continued, “but I can never | forget that every woman may be some- | body's sister.” | You're perfectly him. “My Marjorie." “Thank God I stopped in time,” said the driver At that moment a policeman came around from behind the rear of the | car. then | not. right,” 1 assured | wife has a sister named " he yelled. “Don't you | What are you wait- | “We were talking about war,” ex- plained the driver. | “There’ll always be war,” sald the | policeman. “It’s human nature.” “Do you want to bet?” asked the No, T don’t want to bet,” said the said the | policeman, “and if you don’t hurry up | and get out of here: | He was interrupted by the arrival | of a mounted policeman, mounted, this | time, on a horse. | “What's the row?’ asked the new- “He wants to bet that there won't be any more war,” explained the po- | liceman on foot. | “How much does he want to bet?" | asked the man on the horse. “Ten dollars,” asserted the driver. “Even money."” “Call the wagon," ordered mounted officer. “He's a pacifist.” By this time a small crowd had be- g4n to gather, and at the mention of the word “pacifist” several of the on- lookers began searching through their pockets for a piece of rope. | “But I ain't a pacifist,” said the taxi | driver and he appealed to the crowd. | “Well, he’s a taxi driver,"” called out | a voice from the edge, “and that’s worse." | “And what's more,” said the driver, | “I served in the great war.” | “Where" asked the policeman. | “Right here in Chicago,” replied the | driver. “I was an ensign.” taxi the him,” his superior. “She’s my reported the flrst policeman to A woman, I think.” wife,” I asserted. | d the officer. Have you | “H'mm got a desperately through my | “It's in my trunk,” T said The two policemen looked at each other. E said the one. asty business,” e with | The other toyed with his silver whistle | |and looked at his nails. I couid feel that my wife was becoming quite angry. “I'tell you, I'm on my honeymoon,” “WHAT'S THE ROW?” ASKED THE MUCH WILL YOU B! - THE FAMILY AT FOOT THE OFFICIAL REPORT (More or less like this) ILLIAMSON got the ball and opened up with a low kick down field against the wind. Smith punted. Jones fumbled. Brown fell down. | Robertson got up. Peterzon tackled low. Johnson kicked high. Thompson touched down. Jackson converted. Quarter time. Jones kicked. Diplock ran four yards. Brown was put off. Thompson came on...Yards...More yards . . . half time . . . quarter kick Zo Nt o vAias | . 3oLt . i GAME, AB SEEN FROM THE STADIUM BENCHES, ROW 4, BY MISS FLOSSIE FITZCLIPPET BROWN AND REPORTED TO HER GIRL FRIEND IN CONVERSATION Certainly it was a wonderful game. I had on my wine-colored dress and the hat to match, and it was cold enough so that you could wear fur around your neck. That's one of the great things about foot ball games, you can wear fur. That's why they play so late in the season, at least so some of the boys said. Most of the girls had on cloth coats, so, of course, you don't see as much color as at & ball game in the Summer. But the two teams wore bright-colored sweat- ers. One side—I think it was our side— had bright blue, and the other side were in dark red. But they are not a bit careful of thelr suits when they play and some of them %ot into a frightful mess from falling down by accident on the ground. But when they get too dirty the umpire turns them out of the game and takes on a man with a new sweater. The boys explained it all to me. | But I really know a lot about the | game because my brother Ted plays | on the team. They give another touch of color by having some of the boys | stand along the edge of the ground with bright bathrobes on. The um- pires have on white sweaters and there are people called referees and they wear long white coats to give a touch of light. TLe game was terribly exciting. The side that I think was our side were all kicking the ball one way and the other side the other way. Jack was sitting on one side of me and Bruce on the other and they explained everything so clearly—all abput the yards and the different points—that I could understand practically exactly very soon after it had happened. Some- | times, of course, only the referee un- derstands and the scoring has to be done on a special board at the end of the field g0 as to add it up. But I could tell which was our side all the time even when they changed courts after each rubber. T saw ever so many people that we knew there because where we were in the grandstand by standing up and looking round you could see practical- Iy everybody. I thought a great many of the hats perfectly sweet. seem to be wearing softer colors this Autumn I saw one hat of Valencia blue felt that was just a dream. Papa and Uncle Peter were there, but I don’t think they saw us. They seemed to be looking at the game all the time. 1t got tremendously exciting toward the end. Both sides were exactly even with the same number of sets and the boys explained to me that It was just « question now which side could knock down the referee and sit on him. No doubt it sounds brutal, but really when They | you are there you get so excited that | T sald. “And here’s a picture of us in a Los Angeles paper.” | The policeman took the paper and | .zamined it carefully. The crowd had . By Donald Ogden Stewart | segun to gather once more. The po- iceman on the horse blew his whistle, and pointed at two or three young peo- ple who had edged their way in. “You'll have to move on,” he said to them. his is just for young men and_women over eighteen.” “They're with me," explained a mid- dle-aged lady, with an ingratiating | smile. ‘“Please.” Meanwhile the policeman on foot handed the newspaper up to his col league. “It looks like him,” he said The other took the paper and glanced at the picture. Then he read the article underneath. Then he look- ed across the page and read another article, in the outside column. When he had come to the bottom o ¢ umn he turned over the pages unt came to page seven. On page wsven finished the article and then glanced carefully through the comic strips at the top of the page. Then he yawned and handed back the er. “I guess it's all right,”" he said, “but you ought to be more careful after this."" Yes, sir,” T replied. | He blew his whistle. The taxi driver | started his engine. The crowd began to cheer and the rumor quickly spreaa that T was Gene Tunney. accompanied by Queen Marie of Rumania By the time we reached the Blackstone there was a mob of several thousand people waiting to see us, so we decid ed to go in and ask if there was any mail. As we pulled up to the curb I paid |the driver, he touched his hat and said, “Better late than never,” and we fought our way behind a squad of picked policemen into the lobby. There was no mail. (Copyright, 1926.) Origin of Dentistry. ENTAL therapeutics dates from a very remote epoch. It 48 not | known when this art commenced, but {1t is well known that the Egyptlans ipmcllced it to a considerable extent. On a papyrus scroll estimated to date back 3,700 years before Christ, which was found burfed at the feet of the god Anubls,.thers were found written remedies against painful molars and a way to alleviate other troubles of |the teeth by means of pulverized | drugs. The art of “filling” is very |old. Egyptian mummies have been found with molar cavities very care- | fully closed. Others have artificial teeth which show that in very ancient times this dental process was known. The Chinese cured toothache 2,700 years before our era. One of their methods was to put iron rust in the cavities. BALL—How One Great Game Was Reported “JACK AND BRUCE EXPLAINED EVERYTHING_I THOUGHT MANY OF THE HATS WERE PERFECTLY SWEET.” you forget. Again and again as he slipped in and out putting the ball into position, they nearly got him, but each time he slipped out. Just at the end it got so exciting— I don’t know what it was—something to do with yards, that I stood right up on the seat. So did a lot of the girls. Jack and Bruce had to hold me or I might have fallen. And in the end, I think that the side that I think was our side won -the whole game! Wasn't that splendid? Oh, foot ball is just delicious. AS REPORTED BY MR. EDWARD CHUNK BROWN, SENIOR, FA THER OF MISS FLOSSIE FIT: CLIPPET BROWN OVER THE COFFEE AND CIGARS AT HIS DINNER TABLE THAT EVENING. You didn’t see the big game today? You certainly missed it. My boy Ted was playing in it. You ought to have been there. Ted was playing in the forward line, and I must say Ted put up a great game. I tell you, this col- lege foot ball is about as fine and man- 1y a sport as you can get. Look at Ted. Why Ted was just a little shrimp till T got him started into foot ball at the prep (I was always keen on the game. My brother and I both played on the college team in 1895, though Peter wasn't what you'd call really first cl look at | Ted now ‘Why, he's heavier than I was myself. Yes, sir, that was a great game to- day. At one time they broke right through the .center and they’d have got clear away with it but for a tackle | that my boy best tackles I ever saw, at least in the ame to-day. Of course, they do less running than we did, but Ted got in one pretty good run to-day. Ted's quick’ on his feet, and what’s more, Ted can use his head. Now there was one time to-day when Ted—Ted— Ted—Ted—Ted. AS REPORTED BY MISS MARY DEEPHEART BROWN, ELDER SISTER OF MISS FLOSSIE IPPET BROWN AND sHTER OF EDWARD CHUNK BROWN, SENIOR, IN A CONFIDENTIAL LET- TER TO ONE OF HER SIX ONLY FRIENDS. I must tell you all about the per- fectly wonderful foot ball game last Saturday. I hadn't seen Ernest for three days and I was afraid that some- thing had happened or that I had said something, because once before Ernest Ted made—one of the | said that something I said had made him feel just terrible for days and till he knew that I hadn’t said what I said. And then I got a note from Ernest sk me if he might take me to the me, and so I knew it was all right. id, at first, that he would come with us, but I was so afraid that it might mean a chill, that I got Flossie to get Mother to get Ted to get Uncle Peter to take him. Anyway, it meant that I went with Ernest by ourselves and there was no one else there, and we had awfully good seats, right up at the back in a corner. here was a post partly in front of us, but it didn't prevent us fsom seeing anything All through the first half of the ame—foot ball games are divided into three or four halves of about five min- ch—Ernest kept looking_into 3 in the strangest way. I felt that he had something that he wanted is face what it was, but of course Ernest has the kind of face that is hard to read even when you look right into it. Once Ernest seemed to be just going to say something, but at that very minute there was a lot of shouting and yelling, something must have hap- pened, I think, to do with the foot ball But presently, in the second half when the game was less exciting, because I think that both sides were exgctly even or something, and the time near- ly all gone, Ernest quite all of a sud- den put out his hand and took mine and said that there was nobody in the world who meant to him what I did and that ever since he had known me he cared for nothing except me, and that the law office are now giving him over four hundred dollars a month and that if I wouldn't marry him he would give up the law all together and take the first boat to Costa Rica. And I said I didn’t know what fa- ther would say and Ernest said he didn't care a whoop w! say (Ernest is so manly in the w: talks) and he offered to break father's neck for me if I liked. So I said that I hadn’t ever meant to get married but to be some sort of sister, but that if he liked, I would get married this time for his sake. And just then one of the caretakers came to tell us that the game was over and the people had gone and they wanted to sweep up the seats. So we went home to- gether. I think foot ball is a perfectly won- derful game. AS REPORTED BY PETE BIN BROWN, BROTH EDWARD SENIOR AND U OF FLOSSIE, MARY AND T Yes, I saw the game today. Pretty rotten. Ed's boy Ted was play- ing, and so I went with Ed and his little boy, Billie, to see the game. I hadn't seen a game since 1900, but of course Ed and I both played on the college team, though Ed was no good. As I see it, they've pretty well spoiled the old game. There doesn't seem to be a rule that they haven't changed. Why, nowadays you can hardly understand it. In my time, of course, the game was far more exciting. Well, for one thing the fellows could kick further, and the men were heav- ier and could shove harder and run faster. Now the whole game seems just dead. My nephew Ted has the makings of a good player in him: he I did. plays something of the kind of game I've told him a lot of things. But you take all these rules about vards, and downs and offside pla; it's all changed; a man can't under- stand them. I sat next to my littls nephew Billie—he's Ed's son, he's eight—and I said, “Can you under- stand it, Billie?” and he said, “Not quite, Uncle Peter."” There you are, he ceuldn’t under- stand it, and I said, “It was a darned sight better game thirty years ago, Billie,” and he said, “Was it, Uncle Peter?” He's a bright kid. But the way they have the game now, there is no interest in it. There was a whole lot of shouting and yell- ing, but no enthusiasm. A lot of them vere ving their hats and hooting till th were hoarse, but there was no enthusiasm. When I used to play nd some one would shout from the touch line (we used to stand righ round the game then), “Go it, Pete" well, that was enthuslasm. You don't get that now. Oh, no, the game is gone to Hades. REPORTED BY BILLIE COM- 3UP BROWN, AGED 8, YOUNG- ER SON OF EDWARD BROW SENIOR. Gee! It was wonderful! Gee! BY MRS. UPTOWN BROWN-—OTH- ERWISE “MOTHER’—PARENT OF FLOSSIE, MARY, TED AND BILLIE, AND WIFE OF ED- WARD CHUNK BROWN, SENTOR. No, please don’t go yet. We've plenty of time for another rubber. They're all at the foot ball game. My little boy Ted is playing, and my two girls are there too. Now, do stay'! And won't you have another whisky and soda? (Copyright, 1926.) AS IN Testimony in Ring’s Big Divorce Hearing - Seems More Startling Than Conclusive BY RING LARDNER. Chapter 24 of Autobiography. HE day of my divorce hearing dawned bright and clear. By the time court opened it was just right for the spectators, but_a little warm for the litigants. The vast crowd was on hand early and appeared highly enter- tained at the antics of the rival bands. The twelve thousand co-respondents named by me made a tremendous hit when they marched into the court- room, stopped and formed a C and pointing at my wife, sang their alma mater, “Yes, Sir. That’s My Baby!" Hugga and I were called to the center of the room, where we first shook hands and then cut for posi- tions. Hugga cut the high card and chose to sit near the west window, where there was a slight breeze. The officlals were Judge Ogle, Attorney Dumb for me, the plaintiff, and At- torney Wheedle for Hugga, the de- fendant. (Editor's note: According to news- paper accounts. Mr. Lardner turned down a suggestion of his counsel's that the case be tried before a petty jury, saying that if Hugga found out they were even the least bit petty she would insist on a party instead of a trial) A transcript of the testimony will best show what a raw deal 1 got. The only witness was Miss Sheets, a chambermaid in the Baldwin Hotel at Curve, Tenn. Direct examination Dum Q. A Yes Q. Where? A. Who? Q. This defendant. A. at the Baldwin Hotel, in Curve. Who? A. This defendant. . Was she alone? A. Why, I sup- pose s0. 1 don’t think they ever was by Atorney Did you ever see this defendant? a time when we had more than one guest. Q._Did you know she was married? A. Y know she wasn't. She had a single room. Q. What was the number of her room? A. 502. Cross - examination Wheedle: Q. Miss Sheets, how is it that you remember the number of this defend- ant's room? A. 1 remember it be- cause {t's the only room In the hotel. Q. If there is only one room, in the hotel, why s 1t numbered 5027 A. That's his favgrite number. Q. Who? A. Jack Downey, whe runs the hotel by Attorney H 1 seen her THEY BAB MARCHED INTO THE COURTROOM, AND, POINTING AT MY WlP%,'”SANG THEIR ALMA MATER, “YES, SIR! THAT'S MY dcio Don fo 12-12-26 these co-respondents? them. Q. Where? A. In the writing room of the hotel. Q. What were they doing? A. Co- responding. (Cries of “Goodness!” and “Touchdown! Touchdown!") Judge Ogle: “It seems to me that this defendant proved herself a woman of extraordinary acumen in selecting the only fireproof room in the hotel. If she had used half as sound judgment in choosing e hus- band, the less said about it the better. The court finds for the defendant, awards her $12.00 per week alimony, a Colonial houss within walking dis- tance of a golf course, half a mile from the railroad station, five bed rooms. three baths, four servants’ A. Yes, all of Q. WHAT WERE THEY DOING? A. CORRESPONDING. Re-direct examination by Attorney Dumb: Q. Miss Sheets, you are under oath and you will find it to your advantage to tell the truth. Kindly give the honest reason why the only room in your hotel is numbered 502. A. All the other rooms were burned up in the big fire, Q. Leaving only Room 502 stand- ing? A. That's right. Q. Was Room 502 on the fifth floor? A. Where do you think it would be? (Laughter) Q. And were thp office floor and the mezzanjne and £4 the rooms belows above and on the same floor as 502 destroyed by the fire? A. Yes. (Catcalls.) Q. And Room 502 alone was un- scathed. How do you account for that? A. I have nothing to do with the accounting. That is attended to by the bookkeeper. (Bird calls and bugle calls.) Q. Was this cefendant in Room 502 at the time of the fire? A. Yes. Q. How do you know? A. If she waan't, she'd of been burned. (Violins, violoncellos, etc., pizzicato.) Q. Have you ever seen any of rooms with bath, three.car garage, electricity, water and gas.” Thus ended my first marital ven- ture and I will state here that I bear no ill will toward Hugga, who, I am told, is doing very well as an' elevator starter at the Olympic Games. (To be continued.) . For the first time in England in 70 years a woman has been made a corespondent in a dlvorce suit brought by a_wife against her hus- band, ] BY MILT GROSS. HIRD _floor—RRRRRrrrr-ing— Mrs. Feitlebaum—Y} yi—Geeve some one plizze a henswer de talaphun wot it’s reening'— Looy—Hullo!-——Oh!—Hello, baby doll!'—-Didja git in ‘widout wakin’ de old man last night??. ”. Dat's Say wot do ya put in his I'd like to slip some in my Yeah. . ure he wuz up!! ~“Put on de usual panic—I trew him a fish and he piped down. Ha ha! I'll bet de party’s still going...Who?? oh—him—Ha ha!'—We locked him on do fire-escape in hiz B. V. D.’s —it wuz a panic .No dat wasn't no taxi—dat was de ple wagon did???—Aw, gee,—dat's too bad! Didja try gasoline? Gosh dat was awful stuff—yer luck it didn’'t boin holes troo yer dress... Oh, Boy!—One shot of dat white mule gn’ 1 saw horns on de hostess!l..... Who?? Dat big stiff??....Lissen, on more woid outa him and he'd be woik- in’ a fist outa his good eye yet!!'—And dat barlow he was witt!—Where did he dig her up??......Wot??..... Mo- del—me eye!! She lays a broom han. dle fer a magician in Palisades Park ©....Not him... Ya mean Red uy dat fell down de air-shaf! ....He wot2?? — .... I wot?? I did NART !!!!— eah———C. again??—Well—whaddya WANT me to say??7-—......Wuz it my fault?? What did he wanna sock de cop fer?? ......Soich me...I don't know...... Me?? Bail him out witt wot?? De interest on me debts! ....Wot's dat? Sa-a-a- Barrymore—you ain't got no grounds to make a crack like dat to me!'— Yeah—Oh. ... Yeah Well?? do Bust M. Well, I didn't tell ya to do re Blacl Bottom in iront of de Seargent, did 1772 Yer wot??? Say, dat's anodder ting!'—Next time ya park yer rodge and Ipstick in me pockets lemme, know it, will ya??—No???—. Didn't 1 .—1 pull out me hank- erchief in de car and six sailors starts floitin wid me!!! Wot??..Why don't I pull somethin’ funny??? Yeah.....Is zat 80??——Your old man sober?? Dat ud be funny!'—Oh—I'm_ wastin’ me time—am 1?7....°Say .lissen, baby dat reminds——I got a offer No. he big store Ya ‘Why wot’s wrong about bein’ a Santy Claus in a department store??? Lissen, Lady Bilgewater, ...Well, I don’t come from no ‘amily of seltzer-wagon drivers y'know....Well, lissen- SCENE TWO. A Telephone Booth. Mr. Feitlebaum—Hollo—hollo—hop- erator——I'm trying I should get mine houze!'—wot is steel beezy de tsignal!! YI YI YI!! Geemee at list +ee.o.Nah!......Nix....don’t do dat ———de Judge'll laff at him!! Sure «+...About tree o'clock in front of de shootin’ gallery- don’t bring BANG CRASH. Mr. Feitlebaum—I'll geeve heem, dot dope!! I'll make heem for a creeple!! Spitches—you’ll make, ful- lish ones, by de phun, ha?? BAM! alrady a wrung nomer!'—I'm shreev- ling opp here alrady in de talaphup boot!'—In hall mine life deed you aver saw it should be beezy a heff from a hower a wire??!!....Hm! Rilly!'— You dun’t taling me'—So you witt de meneger witt de tsooperwizer togad- der could- -ha?? should tell mine trobble de tsooper- wizer? So she'll be delighted maybe witt de hinformation wot I stending here in a boot in de bivvy-dizz—— Yeh, yeh——yeh—in de BIVVY-DIZZ —yeh—dees is de rotten soivice you gatting—wot a men tries he should geeve queeck a change he should put on a fool-drass Toxiddo in a talaphun boot——he shouldn't hev a hextra treep hopton—so it still heem a geng- sters de two pairs pents——Hm!—You lefing, ha?? Yeh so gat batter de nom- Y1 YI——yi! steel beezy de tsignal!! Ritoin plizze de neeckle!!! don't go_gittin’ high hat jist because dey made yer brudder a trusty last Woek.eo . Yeal 27! cuer Ay deoeedil Sailing by Cyclone. NE of the most novel propositions in the matter of navigation ever advanced {s that for which a French mariner named Fieron stands re- sponsible. The Frenchman thinks that advantage may be taken of the favorable winds at the edge of a cy- clone for facilitating navigation. By means of observations with the barometer and other instruments he would ascertain the direction in which the storm is going and so shape the course of his ship that it would be carried along by the sweep of the at- mosphere, without becoming involved in the dangerous center of the storm. This proposal to treat cyclones as friendly aids to navigation may strike one as an extravagant play of fancy, Gross Exaggerations—In the Dumb-Waiter Some Troble Witt Beezy Talaphun Wire Eeg'y wires dey should henswer me, a?? Looy—'At's all- I'm t ‘at settles Gt——— o——he can’t sock me witt no ...I'm pullin’ outa dis joint ...I kin git a room... Isidore—Baba—Kid I call Bortiber Bitzick odd de phode??? SMACK!!! (Copyright. 1026.) Strength of Rings. OME elaborate calculations backed by experiments have been made tg determine the “breaking strength” of rings. It appears that a ring of due- tile materfal like malleable iron will be pulled out into the form of a long link before it breaks, and that the ultimate strength of the ring is vir tually mdepenqanl of its diametér. Fracture finally occurs as the result of almost pure tension, and the resist ance to breaking is a little less than twice that of a rod of the same cross- section subjected to a straight pull. As the ring increases in diameter there appears to be a slight approach toward equality, with double the strength of a bar. Thus a 3-inch ring made of ¥%-inch iron broke at 191§ up but it is soberly advanced by Fieron, §CENE THREE. TR0y —Foah——...Well he's goin' IRWR 1008 epu Tk Hra72en. % eal method- of who, it is sald, has made certain successful experiments in this new e sea, tons, a 4-inch ring at 19.9 tons and & 6-inch ring at 20 tons, the strength of a bar of the same metal being 104§ tons, &