Evening Star Newspaper, August 23, 1925, Page 73

THE SUNDAY STAR, WASHINGTO They Had to Raise the Money and the Audience Showed Its Appreciation When Sundry and Varied Original Acts Were Given. BY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM. 8 Cleopatra in her famous book, The Asp, and It's Soclal Usage,” once said; “The Onion builds you up physically and tears you down socfally: it is the only thing sure to cost you friends.” But T dunno did Cleo or Pat, or whatever they called her for short, have altogether the right dope on the Jast part of that, on account I per- sonally myself found where Amateur Theatricals will often lose you a bunch of friends. And only a few weeks ago I and George, that's my husband, was remarking about this. The whole trouble started by our Ladles Thursday Club voting to con- tribute to the Home For Absent Mem- bers, and when the treasurer's report was read we had only $3.62-in the Treas. Dept., hardly enough to make a decent contribution to the home, not and carry on current expenses. So Mrs. Goofnah, our Madame President, got up and appointed a committee to raise the funds, and I and that Mabel Bush got the job. Well naturally we at once went into Mrs. Goofnah's room and a_confi- dence, and I says Mabel Bush, I say it certainly is the limit how nobod else in this club ever seems able to do any work except me, that’s what comes of being competent, miy land, anybody would think I didn’t have a thing {n the world to do only serve on committees. And Mabel says, yeh ain't it so, dear, T have often wished I was a pertect fool so’s this club wouldn't be all the time bothering me to use some of my famous efficiency. Well, naturall vointing out to Mabel where her wish had undoubtedly been granted the first time she made it, If not before, 80 I merely says well we can't ali have our wishes as easy as you, dear. but what'll we do to raise the money? And she says, how much do we need? And T says five hundred bargain bind- ers, 1 believe. And Mabel says oh dear! my back aches when I think of anothef food and apron sale, don't you suppose we could get the money out of our hus- bands? And I says yes, T don't sup- pose, but let's try. Well, that suited Mabel all right, she is the type that likes to sit around in preference to doing a little work, believe you me, if she had been a man it would of been the kind the two pants suits are made or. * ok ko WELL, anyways, T went on home, and just as quick as I seen Geo. I come to the point with all the di- rectness of a crab facing west but zolng morth. Say dear, I says, d'you know T heard a lady remark s thought you was awful goo Aw nonsense says Geo. but a little peek a4 his necktie in the mirror, just the same. All apple sauce! he says, I suppose you told her it was my manly beauty caught you, too, eh? Oh no dear, I says, I told her of course I thought you was handsome, biit that what I really ad- mired was your generosity, see? Well, says Geo. 1 don't quite, as yet, but I'm commencing to suspect, spill it! Well dear, T admitted. I was think- ing of asking would vou care to con- tribute two hundred and fifty dollars to a fund we ladi of The Thursday Club is getting up? And Geo. says no! Nix! nothing doing! And then I says well that leaves me no alternative only to call on the Dramatic Club to e a performance. The next day early Mabel Bush called up, and it seemns where that Joe Bush of the Hawthorne Club she's married to, wouldn’t cough up, shake down. or loosen a simoleon, and so Mabel was perfectly delighted when T zpoke of the Dinglewood Dramatic Clu Oh fine, dear, she says, let's put on something funny, how about a com- And T says oh that's too much 1 thought of a vaudeville, the people could get up their own acts. We could call it the Din glewood Follies of 1925, see? And Mabel says that'll be great, dear, 1 will sing a few songs. Of course I hadn't realized when I spoke, where Mabel might sing but it was too late now to prefer a play. Tn order to stop her singing a person there was no use in | go on, | “IT WAS HT, AS MRS. GOOFNAH, WHO TRULY SAID.” \‘w‘]']‘lV | iy 1S 4 would have to put chloroform on her bouquets she sends herself. Well anyways, after this 1 and Mabel certainly worked. We worked the printer for the tickets, then we worked our friends to buy ‘em, worked the “political power of our Ladies Thursday Club to get the Au- ditorium fre and worked the tele- phone overtime reminding members of the Dramatic Club where a_re- and it was they plea now eleven-thirty, would hurry over, and ete. * % % ¥ BUT when the night of the affair come, we certainly had cause to be proud. Proud we was still alive, anyways. Of course the curtain wouldn't o up untll we had coaxed it a coupla times, but that was only natural, and it went up only % of a hour late, which was a big success, if a person could judge by the applause when it happened The first no. was little Ellie Epsom, a sweet child of ten annums who played a plece on the violin. We hadda have Ellie on account her mother had advanced some money for costumes. But we put Ellie first on the programme so's the audience wouldn't get up and leave when she commenced playing. Mabel Bush had some liniment all ready for the violin in case it seemed to suffer too much but nothing was provided for the audience, they was considered to be well able to take care of themselves or they would never of been there in the first place. The next piece was just too comical for words. That Joe Bush of the Hawthorne Club come out dressed all up like an Italian. and recited a di lect poem called “I'm Tony so Toney, and belleve ou me it was a perfect scream or would of been if anybody could of made out what Joe was saying. And after that, Mre. Goofnah fa- vored with a piano selection. Just who she favored, or why she selected 4 plano to pick on, I ain't able to say. ut in, s the poet says, a manner which ‘defled even death itself, she played Decp River, swaving to the watery music with all the grace of a young and playful hipp: Then Mabel sang. She was all dressed up like a little girl and sung about the wild flowers. And I'm here to tell that any flower would of been wild by the time she was through with it! And after this come the in- termission. Well, we made it a good long one, to give the audience plenty of time to hearsal had been called for ten o'clock | recover their strength, and then we give three jerks and up went the cur- tain again and we put on what the | French call the piece de resistance, meaning you got to have plenty of re- sistance to pull through it Hot Bozo, it was some number, being a take-off on all the Follles of Dingle- wood for the last vear, such as a skit on the trolley cars, a scene on the | fivefifteen, numerous cracks that hit the audlence such as what's the mat- ter with Joe Bush's car? Ans. He's installed a new engine. Ans. Why I thought he had his engine in, stalled, before! See, good cracks like that something personal on evervbody in the audience, pretty near, beside gen eral ones on the local cemetery assoc. the electric light Co. and the way our lights often go out when most needed, and etc. Mr. Goofnah was a female imper- sonator in this, and you couldn't hard- ly of told him from a girl only for his wife not being able to make him shave off his moustache for just the one night. * x % % ELIEVE you me, the audience sim ply howled afid hollered with laughter at these local ftems, espectal- ly it the joke was on a friend which they would all turn around and look to see was the friend in the audience and if the friend was, why they would vell, Hey, Ed, that's one on you, zet that Ed, Ah ha! And all like that. Of course there was some cracks| ! which wasn't so funny, like when they spoke about me gaining weight, or picked on my poor dear husband for being the worst golfer in the Haw- thorne Club, & his best shot being his | approach—to the clubhouse! Jokes like them is in bad taste I always clatm. But then to the other hand there was a _awful humorous crack pulled about Mabel Bush never giving her family enough to eat except at some- body else’s house. You know, it was just one of them harmless, good-na- tured jokes thut is perfectly all right if taken in the correct spirit. Well, after this number, Dr. Sal- ary recited Gunga Din, and it was certainly some din all right, he tors up thie stage, and tore down the stage | in the dramatic, not carpentering sense of them words, If you get me. He put a whole lot of feeling into it, and the strain was something awful, especlally on his vest. I'll tell the world, if Gunga Din was a better man than Dr. Salary, like the Doc claimed, it certainly wasn’t at shouting. After the Doc had bowed his thanks for the applause with all due modest and there was a lot due, well, when he ot off the stage, we put on the Flora- dora Sextette, and this was a real good number, T was in it, so I ought to know. And the third time we took a encore before the audience had time to prevent it, why we got the steps and words pretty darn near right. e AP‘TER this act was safely over we all went out into the hall in our costumes to see the rest of the show, which consisted of “The Dance of The Fairfes” a baby ballet, performed by the dear little ones dressed up in crepe-paper costumes. My Junior was in this and that awful kid of the Bustes and also a child per ea. of pretty near every married person in the audience. The kids was just too cute for any- thing, as evervbody remarked, espe- clally’ mine. All the others got the dance wrong except Junior, but luck- ily they all done it wrong the same way. And then, on this acct. that Bush Boy run into Junior, and naturally Junfor gave him a shove, and then that rough Bush kid hit him, and we had to ring down the curfain and start the dance all over again. But it was certainly a pretty sight, as Mrs. Goofnah, who is always original, so truly said. Well, after the show was all fin- ished, and the actors and audience ditto, and I and Geo. was home, Geo. commenced asking me a few ques- tions. Well, Jennie, he says, did vou get the five hundred dollars all right? And I says oh ves indeed dear, we took in five hundred dollars and sixty cents The expenses for costumes, lights, the orchestra and extras generally only come to four hundred and ninety four dollars and no/100, so you see we are gonner have six dollars and six cents left for the fund. And suys ha! 1 suppose you think that is a big success? And T says yes we cer- tainly do, so much so that we are gonner give the show all over ugain next month for the benefit of The So- clety For Relieving The Condition of Chureh Mice. Geo. give me one look and pulled out his.pocket book No, you are not gonner give it again, not for the henefit of the §. F. R. T. €. O. C..M. or any- thing else, ccount that show don't benefit nobod The only ones en joyed it was the actors. Here, he eays, is a hundred smackers cash for the Church Mice. It's worth the money to me to keep that show off the boreds in this man’s town! (Copyright, 1925.) Up-to-Date Suggestions Submitted For Relief of the Marriage Problem BY RING LARDNER. O the editor: If a person goes around from here to there and back with their eyes open it won't be long before they find out that though a man’s or a woman's spouse {8 often referred to as their mate, why some husbands and wifes ain't no more mates than Pussy foot Johnson and Sophie Tucker. These couples who I refer has little or nothing {n common and you ain’t alon with neither party more than § sec- onds when you are told verbatim that he or she to who you are listening is misanderstood. The lease bit of sympathy showed towards one of these confiders and they will follow you around all the evening adding details till finely you even know whether their wife's or husband's toothbrush is soft, hard or medium The whole trouble seems to be that the boys down in Washington has overlooked one amendment to the Constitution, namely a amendment marriage, and the re- thousands and thousands aunchs their frail of matrimon each othe sult is tha dies and gents on the salty they can skift before spell “HARRY SAYS ANYBODY THAT WILL EAT CHEESE—AND GEN. EVIEVE SAYS THE SAME THING TO HIM ABOUT ON- IONS.” name and address. It don't take them mere than a month or 2 to discover that the consort to who they have voked themself up should ought to of been put out of their misery in child- hood, but now they are tied to them and must remain so unless they have grounds for divorce and the patiencé and means to enjoy same. A tri marriage would of showed them the serious discrepancies and one of them could of just packed up and left the A “HE AIN'T GOING TO SPEND NO HOURS LISTENING TO A COUPLE OF FROGS BELLOWING TO EACH OTHER IN WOP.” Seaghle $7.70 PER TICKET TO SET THREE Jjoint without paging the Lambs club for Dudley Field Malone. So as to make my point more clearer leave us take the case of a typical couple who we will call Mr. and Mrs. Claffert. In the first 12 weeks of their wedded bliss they be- come aware of the following hlatuses: Mrs. Claffert likes to go home early. Mr. Claffert likes to stay out late. Mrs. Claffert has a aver of § headaches per wk. Her husband don't even know what they feel like, though he should of. Mrs. Claffert likes to be took out with 5 of a major sult. Harry Claffert (for Harry is indeed his first name) will begin to bite innocent bystanders his partner don't leave him in with whatever he bid. nevieve Claffert loves grand opera. H; says he ain't going to spend no $7.70 per ticket to set for 3 hours listening to 4 or 5 frogs and a heine or 2 bellowing V’ck and forth at each other in wop. Give him Harold Lloyd. Genevieve loves le danse and a specially with Harry when he is sober. Harry won't get up on the floor unless he almost can't. Harry likes a steak rare or medium rare and smothered with onions, also French fried or baked potatoes. Genevieve can't stand steak unless it's burnt black, hates onlons and insists on potatoes au gratin. Harry says anybody that will eat cheese—. And Genevieve says the same thing to him about onions. Genevieve screams when Harry drives the car and vice versa. Harry talks golf all the time and bores Genevieve stiff. Genevieve dis- cusses out loud the relative merits of Otto and Mr. Shirley as hair dressers and the topic don't seem to give Harry no big thrill. Genevieve drinks a couple of cock: talls at parties to insure herself B0ing o sleep before it's time to go home. Harry takes all they will give him 80 as he won't waste no time lay- ing awake when he finely does get home. Now, friends, cases like the above named ' is galore in every community and accounts for pretty near 100 per cent of all the unhappy marriages. And since they seems to be a preju- dice vs. trial marriage and besides that would not do no good to people all ready marred, why I would sug- gest 2 things, (1) that all existing marriages where either or both par- ties ain't contented be declared off hy o presidential proclamation and fol- Jow this up by a entire redistribution of husbands and wifes based on simi- larity of tastes and (2) that before unmarred couples be allowed to marry, each party be obliged to fill out a questionnaire reading something like as follows and if the answers to 9 out of the 10 questions is not the same, to forbid the bands. 1. Can you read? 2. When you double a 2 bid do you mean business? 3. Can you make coffee? 4. Can you handle your lquor? 5. Are your relatives all right men- tally? 6. How do you feel about the radio? 7. Who are your favorite comical cartoonists? 8. What does a green light mean? 9. Is this your first visit to the Falls? 10. What's the right time? — “Seeing” the Atoms. IGHT may be spread out into its spectrum by means of the dif- fraction grating, which consists of a polished surface having about 20,000 parallel lines ruled across it for each lineal inch, according to the Sclentific American. In order to make a suitable diffrac- tion grating for X-rays, a polished surface would therefore have to be ruled with 10,000x20.000 parallel lines a lineal inch, or 200,000,000 lines. This cannot be done. We cannot make such a minutely ruled grating. However, in 1012, M. von Laue, an Austrian scientist, discovered another and equally good method of doing the same thing. It occurred to him that if the atoms of matter, which no one has even seen because no microscope in existence even approaches power enough to make them visible, were ac- tually spaced as closely together as theoretical consideration indicated they should be, then they would themselves make an excellent diffraction grating for_the extremely short X-rays. Von Laue at once put his theory to the test, and was rewarded by a clear demonstration that it was valid. The atoms of crystals, just as they were found in nature, constituted a grating of just the rszR spacing. \ D. €., AUGUST 2 i o 1925— PART Spends One Week of Life in Prison, Steals Only $2.25, Owns Nine-Tenths of a Motor Car, Spends One and a Half Months Under Machine. BY STEPHEN LEACOCK. FTER a profound study of the census reports of the United States and Canada I am pre- pared to present to the public the fellowing brief digest of information in regard to the average man: In point of height the average man is 6 feet 8 inches, deci- mal .417, and in avoirdupols welght he represents 139 pounds, 2 ounces and 3 pennyweights. Eight-tenths of his head {s covered with hair, and his whiskers if spread over his face could cover it to the extent of one-tenth of an inch. The average man lives either in Honkville, Ind., or in Red Hat, Sas- katchewan. These being the two cen- ters of population for the United States and Canada—he can't live any- where else. The average man goes to church six times a year and has attended Sunday school for two afternoons and can sing half & hymn. Although it thus appears that the average man is rather weak on rell- glon, In point of morals the fellow is decidedly strong. He has spent only one week of his whole life in the penitentiary. He hes stolen only (taking an average of theft and dlivid- ing it by the population) $2.25. And he never tells a lie except where there is some definite material advantage. The average man is not, by statls- tics, a great traveler. The poor fel- ] low ‘has been only 62 miles away from his own home. He owns nine-tenths of a low-priced car and punctures a tire once every 22 days, and spends in the course of his whole life a month and a half underneath his ca | The education of the average man costs $350. But it didn't get bim far. He stopped—according to the educ tional statistics—within one being ready for a college. the things he learned had ro for him. He gave up algebra without vet knowing what it was about. ek Y the time I had got to this point of the investigation T began to realize what a poor shrimp the aver- age man is. Think of him with his mean stature and his little chin and his car and his fear of the dark and him home in Honkville, Ind. or | Red Hat, Saskatchewan. And think | of his limited little mind! The aver- | age man, It seems, never forms an opinion for himself. The poor nut can’t do it. He just follows the opin- ions of other men. T would like ever so much to start a movement for getting above the “HE OWNS NINETENTHS OF A ONCE E\ERY 22 l)\\;.\' CAR AND PUNCTURES A TIRE | average. Surely if we all try hard, we can all lift ourselves up high above the average. It looks a little difficult mathematically, but that's nothing. Think how fine to get away from the average—to mingle with men 7 teet high and women 6 feet round; to | consort with people who wouldn't tell | a lie except for big money, and to| have friends who could solve cross- | word puzzles without having to buy | the Encyclopedia Britannica! But the only trouble with such a movement is that if 1 did reglly start | it. »nd if I could with great labor and persuasion get it golng and it| began to succeed, then who would | come flocking into it but the darned little average man himself. As long as it was unsuccessful, he'd keep out of it. But let it once ed and in he'd come is dirty | little nature. ] bad just brought my investigation to this point when I re: I had forgotten all about the woman. What about her? does she come out? * x % % average Where | |a woman is volumes tle run So 1 pic 1p t again and took another 1 through them The average woman, it seems, does | not live at Honkville, Ind., or ut Red Hat, Saskatchewan. The percentage of women in the population being much greater in the eastern part of the cour the average woman lives 105 miles east of the average man. But she is getting nearer to him every k Oh, yes, she is after him, ail ght! 1t is also clear that the average woman is about half an inch taller than the average man. Women, taken individually, are no doubt not| so tall as men, but, on the average,| 3 little taller. Men 1i difficult to under- n be, but any woman will find it a stand how this can see it at once. 1 point of personal ¥ r just and have their al were a P N below thei ches h! before. The average wor n gets married {a . has two childre and a quarter and is divorced once every § 3 In morals the average Wo away ahead of the man. Everybod knows this in a neral way, but is very pleasing to see it corroborated by cold, hard stat The man, as we have seen above spends a week in the penitentiar: But the woman is there only half a g In her whole life she consumes only one and a half gills of whisk: but, on the other hand, she eats, ac cording to the director of the census four tons of candy. She is devotec to her two and a quarter childre but she makes more fuss on the quar terwof a child than she does over the two whole ones In point of inteliect, the average woman cannot reason and canno think. But she can argue. The aver age woman, according to the educz tional section of the census, only got as far in arithmetic as improper fra. tions. Those stopped her. And vet, take her &s she is—ever with her hair bobbed round her ea and her skirt higher than it was, an her inability dd or to reason—she is all righ he average man come out of the investigation as a poor ir significant with _the average wo! about _her, But then ever admitted th woman, so it doesn't he appea no woman ha an averag tter. “THE AVERAGE WOMAN CAN- NOT REASON—BUT SHE CAN ARGUE.” Amundsen BY PRESTON WRIGHT. | PPROXIMATELY a quarter of | a century has passed since two men in Christiania, Norway.| discussed a project the achieve ment of which v ring | all the way around the worl One of the men was Aksel S. Steen, | underdirector _of the Meteorological VInstitute. The other was Roald Amundsen, a saflor, friend of Steen's Amundsen had but recently returned | from an Antarctic expedition of two vears under the Belgian, Adrien de Gerlache. He had served as muate | under de Gerlache. “I believe,” he told Underdirector Steen, “that if I had the proper back ing I could traverse the Northwest | Passage’ and locate the North Mag |netic Pole.” | | And he went on to tell how, since boyhood, he had dreamed that one day he might make this hazardous undertaking, which to date had defied the hardiest polar explorers, many of | whom, from Sir John Frankiin down. had ificed their lives in the effort to sail from the Atlantic to the Pacific by way of the seas bordering the North American continent. would take years to complete the age, he said, but it must be made in & much smaller vessel shan hitherto had been used. He described with conviction the details of his plan. “It only I were sure that the project is sufficlently important,” he con- cluded. “Important!” exclaimed: Steen, course, it is—immensely so.” He told Amundsen that he would do well to consult Prof. G. von Neu- mayer at Hamburg, Germany. Te is the greatest living authority on terrestrial magnetism,” he ex- plained. And he gave the young Nor- wegian—Amundsen not vet 30 then—a letter to the German. He was convinced he had made a great human discovery in the person of the sailorman. Von Neumayer, an old man, receiv- ed Amundsen cordially and beamed with rapture when he heard of his plan. His visitor was not in a strict &ense a scientific man, but he: spoke in a way that denoted great common sense and stiff determination. The scientist indorsed his idea and for an extended period gave him instruction at the marine observatory, where he held the position of director. Amundsen now felt that he was qualified to undertake the quest of the North Magnetic Pole and the Northwest Passage, but there were obstacles yet to be overcome. He must have a vessel and he must obtain backing. Tle bought the small herring boat, the Gjoa—by a strange coincidence she had been built the same year he was born—with his own savings and made one or two voyages in her to satisfy himself that she would serve his_purpose. Then he sought the indorsement of the celebrated Dr. Fridtjof Nansen. He knew that if Dr. Nansen approved him and his plan he would get back- ing. ,i')r. Nansen, himself the hero of more than one Arctic expedition, oc- cupied an extremely high pedestal in the imagination of Amundsen. The latter felt very insignificant as he stood in Nansen's villa at Lysaker and knocked on the door of the great man's study “Come in,” said a strong vcice, and he entered to find his awe dissipated in the sunshine of a friendly smile. Dr. Nansen not only gave him un- qualified approval, but interested him- self in obtaining aid for the young man. All preparations finally were completed and in 1903 Amundsen be- gan his hazardous voyage, With a crew of eix, in the little Gjoa. Tt took three years for him to do it, but in 1906 he completed his task— something which men had been vainly trying to do for four centuries. It was the obvious prelude to his subsequent discovery in 1910 of the South Pole. Now, in his 53d year, he is still planning to cross the North Pole in an airplane, after an attempt this Summer which was not success- ful. Of course, his first book, “The Northwest Passage,” was dedicated to Dr. Nansen. From childhood the ex- plorer had occupied a place in his mind denied to any other human be- ing_except his mother. g Nansen was making his Arctic voy- ages during the years when Roald Amundsen was growing to manhood a ot Received Encouragement OF in Christianta. talk The city rang with of the explorer's feat | the ho had read the of Franklin's glorious but tragic | | { | one attempt to get through the Northwest Passage. At 17 he was a witness of | the great public reception given Dr. | Fridtjof Nansen on his return to| Two Notable Frenchmen | Lead in Foreign Affairs PARIS, August 13 HENEVER Amerlcans or Englishmen, Belzians, Ital- ians or Germans have to talk over matters with the French foreign office or hold a solemn conference with repre- sentatives of the French government they are sure to run up against one of two Frenchmen. One is M. Jacques Seydoux, and it is not difficult, for he comes forward walking painfully on two sticks and sometimes carried in a chair. He is the assistant political director at the ministry of foreign affairs. He has sharp eyes in a worn, colorless face, and the Roman nose, which, in eagles as in men, shows will power that cannot be downed. He seems a physical wonder at first. Then he takes his part freely and fre- quently, with a high, abrupt volce, and suddenly every one feels that he knows all about it. And he has been in it all, during the war and since the war, In all the committees and in all the conferences. Americans will hear of him again. ‘When Jacques Seydoux began his career he was quite the man ot the world. He served his apprenticeship in international politics in London and Athens and The Hague. The foreign diplomats may not have suspected the full capacity of the smiling, active and sociable comrade. Now he sa: to ex- plain why he works all the time there is: “What would you have me do, bound as I am to my chalr? Travel or golf or dancing? No; my amuse. ment is work."” To tell the truth, he was working enough for most men in the society days of his youth. Now, in the prime of life, crippled and confined, he has by sheer power of will continued un- remltting work until he is almost the necessary man in his department of the nation’s work. One of his col- leagues says, “He is the trlumph of the spirit over the flesh.” During the war it was M. Seydoux who organized the blockade of enemy countries. In peace, it is he who is charged, on the part of France, to do the unblockading—that is, to bring back business relations and to see to land and sea transports. Now all this depends on the treaties of peace and on the reconstruction of ILurope by | which reparations. Every one knows the Dawes plan, whic is trylng to work. But in 1921, the conference of Brussels agcepted the gland rejec worse Frenchman who, in the has the most to do in actual labor for France's international | relations is M. Philippe Berthelot. He | is now gene secretary at the minis- | of forelgn affairs, wHere he was many years political director. With his chief, Foreign Minister Br and, he has had to work up the “rench note on the pact of securit Germany has just answered, nd which no doubt he will have to | defend in coming negotlations, M. Berthelot is the most certing man in actual diplomacy. Lord Curzon told the shock which the Frenchman gave him when they had first to confer together in 1921 in London. The Englishman had taken the precauticn to have his experts present with their written reports and figures. M. Berthelot appeared alone. ‘“You may bring your experts,” said Englishman. T have none,’ , then, brought.” “I have none.” Lord Curzon looked at the forehead of the Frenchman, high enough un- tufted hair to contain a li- and shrugged his shoulder: When M. Berthelot was obliged to | resign his post on account of opposi- tion in the French Parliament, Lord Curzon wrote to him: “I wish, in my own name and in that of Mr. Lloyd George, to say to vou that all your English friends respect and admire and love you." In fact, M. Berthelot has one of those memories you read of. In his younger days he frequented a Latin quarter cafe where the intellectuals met. He was challenged to repeat by heart the greatest number of verses | of French poetry. The match lasted a month and Philippe Berthelot came out ahead of Jean Moreas, the Greek who wrote volumes of French verse | and was supposed to know more French poetry than any other lving man. Berthelot had recited from his | memory 26,000 verses As long ago as 1907, with a clear | foresight of the world’s needs. M. Ber- thelot obtained the union of the com- | mercial relations department of the foreign office with the political direc. tion. discon- aid the Frenchman. have your documents | e |on the road { from | roads to the sacred city and those who From Nansen in His Youthful Efforts ff 11 s successful Green- Christiz land expedition. Thrilled to th upon the man wh ated persor bone as he looked was then the most \ Norway, he = make the North- an ordinar; o polar seas, of mate b ion with the »n began seaman o he rose t om_Third Page) know. And and to beat prevent him meet tudes T was compelled to fight the poor raving boy to from fleeing away and his death in the white soli- n I met some most re a quite unexpected the Kongbu Pa La, he sorrowful victims ibetan dram A few pilgrims, il women, had been robbed - poor belongings and cruel wounded by their own fellow travelers. Amo! the unfortunate women wyas » had hole in the head. The another was broken. A third ash in the breast cave where they ad taken shelter the corpses of two slonging to their party were . after four months' tramp- ing, we reached Lhasa. That day was an unforgettable one. We started in the early morning from Dechen, and in the clear light of the rising sun we saw the huge palace of the Dalaf Lama appearing before us. “We have won!" I said to my young friend He silenced me “Huh! Do not be too quick. We must_still cross the Kyi River, and 0 knows if there is not a post of chmen there? . . .” 0 near the goal, I refused to believe that failure ma il be possible. But who can ever know? The gigantic building, the glory of Tibet, its holy of holies, grew larger and larger, and we began to see the glittering of its golden roofs. It af- firmed itself to be more dominating at each of our steps. We walked at a good speed. Success was near and gave us wings. The river was crossed in a small ferryboat crowded with men and beasts. The busy ferrymen had no ure to look at two ragged fellows. Hundreds of the same kind pass there W | each year. T E landed on Lhasa ground, there was still a long way befora reaching the city . "Then, quite suddenly, u real stage effect occurred A storm arose, sweeping the large va ley. Clouds of sand, carried by the vind, hid the landscape and hung thick curtain before the Potala (name of the Dalai Lama’s palace). Peop were blinded, and con- cealed their faces in whatever ple cloth they happened to have them. The night of my devarture from China, four months earlier, I remen: bered 'old tales relating the kinds of protection granted by gods to fugi- tives—clouds, eudden darkness, hail that stopped those who could have dis- covered them. Now that immense yel- low curtain of whirling sand that hid the people in the Potala the w trod on them, was it not hung to pro- tect my entrance and to presage future security? I liked to belleve it 1 was at the market place. I crossed street after street. I was in Lhasa at last. We had arrived at New Year time as I had planned it a vear before in faraway Gobe. And now we were to enjoy the many sights and festivals of the Lamaist Roma and see it in its brightest and most interesting aspect, when people of all surrounding prov- inces flock there in quest of excite ment. That evening in the hovel where wa had put up, Iving on the ground among our miserable luggage, I safd to my faithful companion: “Do you allow me now to say that we have won the game “Yes,” he said, and sleepily he shouted in a. suppressed tone, “Li alo. De tamche pang!” (The go triumph, the demons defeated). And he let fall his head on a bag that he used as a pillow.