Evening Star Newspaper, July 26, 1925, Page 63

SUNDAY STAR, WASHINGTON, D. €, JULY 26, 1925—PART 5 THE Which Reminds George and His Wife of Time They Met an Old Friend of Girlhood Days. BY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM. S Mr. Volstead, the author of that famous song entitled “How Dry 1 Am!."” often re- marked in passing, “A bud of garlic a day keeps the mash- ers away. And how many ladies that has to £o out alone evenings could do it in perfect safet~ if only they would heed this great truth! You mighty seldom hear of a murdered lady that has been eating garlic, or one whose boy friend gets jealous of her, if he knows what she has on her breath While as for jealous American husbands, it certainly would be quite a idea for them to get the bride to eat a garlic a day. Then the groom could wear a gas mask when they went out in public together and his mind would he perfertlv at rest so far as other men was concerned. This all come to me one night when 1 and George, that's my husband, had been in the city all day, he in his office earning money, and I in the department stores also making money —making it go as far as possible, if vou get what I mean. In other words I was charging everything I bought, so0’s the money would go at the end of the month, which was still quite a long ways off. Well anyways, by the time I had been through every department, Hot Bozo! if it wasn't pre time. So T telephoned Geo. dear 1 got a few more C. O. F. 0. B's and B. V. D.’s to get, do vou mind if we eat in town tonight? And Geo. says Oh My! or the mas culine equivalent but I wouldn't re- peat it myself, well, Oh My! says George I suppose we will hat to, what in the world have you been doing all this time that you ain't through yet, here I am as tired as a dog. And I says which dog? Dog- gone or hot-dog? And he says aw hush up, meet me at Jelkus Restau- rant and we'll catch the seven-forty- five, after dinner. Well, T says ves dear, sweetly, and hung up, but inw d I thought to myself, we may catch the seven forty-five but not unless we taks some salt from Jelkus' place to put on its tail-light! And then I got a evening paper and looked up the shows, now that T had Geo. committed to staying in_town. There was one called * Irish Rose” or something. I it was a grand nature play, thought where this would certainly be a good chance to see it. So first thing, after I met George and we had commenced ighaling a little noodle foup. I pulled the trap on the theatre Geo. vetoed it at once, and at twice, as well. T tried a third time, but nothing doing. So in a few min- utes there was silence between the two of us except for the sound of the soup, and we was enjoving the meal in a perfectly normal manner for married people dining out on the outs. x Kk ¥ Bt'r Hot Bozo, pretty soon our domestic-plece-meal was shattered by & handsome stranger who left his griddle cakes flat on the next table, and grabbing his napkin in one hand exactly as if it belonged to him, got up and come over to our trough. Well well, he says, if it ain't Jennle Wren, as I'm alive! Well well, Jen- nie, how are you? Naturally I give the bird one look, and at first 1 couldn’t imagine who was he, and then in a minute I didn’t haf to imagine, I knew. And I let out a holler. Well of all people, if it ain’t Eddie Ellis! I says, why Eddie of all people! Why I'd of known you apywheres! He give a toothpaste grin at that, and threw out his chest. Same to you and many of 'em, he says, you ain’t changed a mite, Jennie, since them old days up in Swishicossette Lake—remember, eh? ha! ha! Well, about then George says ah, ahem! You might Introduce me. And I says why pardon me dear, of course, I'pretty near forgot, I was so excited seeing Eddie, here. This is Eddie Ellis, you have often heard me speak of. And George with a lot of reverse English, says ah so! Delight- ed. And then I says this is my hus- band, Eddie, T ain't Miss Wren no longer, I'm Mrs. Jules. And Eddle says No! You don’t sa; “WELL, WELL,” H E SAYS, “IF IT AIN'T JENNIE WRE! AS I'M ALIVE.” And T says, yes, sure. And Eddle says ha ha! ha! well, well, how small the world is! And I says ha, ha, ves, isn’t it though, fust to think of meet ing you here! And George says abso: lutely nothin, Well well, says Eddie, T sit down a minute? And I says oh do! Have the walter bring your chair and food, and Iddie says pist, and the waiter waited, and then we set- tled down for a real nice chat about old times. Say Jennie, says member Kitty Speers, the one with the red hair? And I says no, ves, let me see, the one went on the straw ride with us that night? And Eddie says yeh, that's the one! And I says will I ever forget her! And the wi we was acting up that night, wasn’t you the sketch, though, I was awful jealous of her, Ed And Eddie says you, why you was the best looking girl in the crowd, and you're just the same now. And I says now now Eddie, you always was the greatest little kidder! And about thew George says who was this Kitty? And I says oh you should have seen her dear, she was simply wild over Eddie, here! And Eddie says well, it didn’t do her any good Mr. Jules, a5 you can imagine, with Jennie around. And George merely says humph! i PBUT Oh Lddie, I says, what a Sum- mer that was! Remember the day ou took me fishing and all I caught was the dickens from Mommer for getting back so late? And Eddle says I guess our gang give the rock- ing-chair brigade a lotta things to talk about that season, eh? And I say: you mean you did—oh you Eddie And he says Oh you Jennie! And George says ahem Mr. Ellis, what business are you in may I ask? And Eddie says, why I am with the Audible Collar-Button Co. Mr. Jules, you know, them new patent collar buttons that bark when dropped and keep on barking until you find ‘em. You've heard of the firm. And George says Ah yes, certainly, that's a good concern. "And he says this like he felt it was wrong, very very wrong for Eddle to be in such a prosperous concern, so I changed the subject. Say Eddie, I says, I suppose you are married by this time? And he says ha! ha! no, nor by standard time, nefther! And I says ha, ha, say George, isn't Eddle a scream, didn't T aways tell you he was a sketch? And George says ah yes indeed, while looking just as gay and hearty as a undertaker whose best prospest had taken a turn for the better. Then Eddie pulled another good one. m: die, do you re- D'vou remember the way the bunch of us used to sit on the steps in the moonlight, and sing? he says. And I says do 1?7 What'd we used to sing, Eddie, can you think? And he says I think we sung flat, ha! ha! And I says that's pretty sharp, Eddle, ha! ha! And he says Oh boy, that's a hot one! And Geo. didn't say nothing but only looked at his watch, but it was by then too late to catch the seven- forty-five as he could of easy told by looking at the restaurant clock which was in plain sight. What on earth he wanted to pull this turnip out for was more than I could imagine, it might of hurt Eddie Ellis’ feelings, so I quickly jumped into conversation again with great tact. Do you 1emember the kind of ham- mocks they usta haf in them days, Eddie? I says, you know like the one out on the dark end of the -hotel porch? Eddie laughed that one off, too. Hal! ha! he says, I sure do re- member, no box-hammocks up to good old Lake Swishicossette, was there. no sir, they had the good old fash- ioned clubby kind with a coat rack in either end to keep it apart, but try to keep any couple apart, once they sat down in the middle! And I says you said it boy, the only place they got any of those ham- mocks left is in the berths of Pullman sleepers, and you can't set in them, they ain’t big enough. And Eddie says ha! ha! ha! The same old Jennle, you always had a hot llne Jennie, that's one reason I and all the oth fellers was giving you such a rush all the time. And I says go on, Ed, tell that to the marines, as we usta say. Then, on account Geo. wasn't as yet making great friends with Eddie like I had always hoped he would, why naturally I tried to drag him into the gay chatter, see? Say dear, I says, don't you believe one word this man says about me, he’s a bold bad actor, ha, ha, tee! hee! And George says very amusing, ah ves indeed. * x % ¥ THEN Eddie made another entrance. Say he says, remember the old spaghetti joint we used to go to Saturday nights the follering Winter? Cute little place didn’ you think, eh, Jennie? 'Member old Henry Hutt, how mad he was one night when you broke the date with him and he met us there? Oh! I says ha! ha! ha! I can see his face yet, do stop, Eddle, I shall die lafiing! Well, that appeared to give Eddie a idea. He was always great on thinking up ideas in the old Say! he says brightly. I wonder could we find that place again, maybe it's| there vet, I bet I could find it, it was in a basement some place on Grand avenue, or maybe it was on Broad street, and you hadda give some kinda signal to get in, two knocks or a kick. I remember it was some kind of a funny signal. Anyways, I bet I could find it, what say we try it some night soon, all three of us. I'll drop you a note and make a date! And I says, oh Ed, that reminds me! Remember the time we played post-ofice? And here was where Geo. actually spoke on his own accord. Well, he says, how long s it, any- ways, since you two have seen each other? And T says oh me lands Eddie don't_tell him, even if you remem. ber, T hate to think of how long it's been! Same here, says Eddie, makes a person feel like they are gefting kinda old, eh! And I says don't men- tion it, I feel like I was a million. A million dollars, you mean, says Eddfe, that's how you look! And you, too, Eddie, I says, but how about that dinner do you really mean 1t? And he says you betchu life T mean it, Jennfe, how about it old man? And George, who has got to the age where he would rather be called young feller, says that is very kind, meaning very kind of fresh, as anybody could tell by the tone of face that went with the remark. Then George says well, we must be going along now it is getting late, we got to hurry. So Eddle says well well, it's been great to see you, Jennie, hope to do 80 soon again. And I says oh you kid, and he says ha! ha! And I says ha!'ha! And George says come along, come along, whatcha waiting for? And then first thing I knew we was out in the street and Geo. was walk- ing me fast as anvthing, and not say- ing a word of his own accord, so naturally 1 hadda start something. ‘Why and the world George Jules, T says, did you haf to go and be s rude to poor Eddie Ellis? T says. I was no such thing, rude, says George, 1 was perfectly polite, but I think he's a awful grapefrui! ‘Why George Jules, T says, I think he's perfectly charming! Well, say George, I never saw such a funny face on any man, before. And just as Geo. says that I noticed we wasn't walking towards the depot at all. My heavens! I says, we passed the sta- tion long ago, where on earth do you think we are headed for? And George says we are going to that show you wanted to see, he says, I think it'l do you good and take your mind off less important matters! (Copyright, 1025.) Brilliant Conversation Is Big Attraction When Passengers Kill Time on the Sleeper BY RING LARDNER. O_the editor: The other night I happened to be coming back from Wilmington, Del., to wherever I was goinz and was tting in the smokin; partment or what they now c wash room and overheard a conversa- tion between two fellows who we will call Mr. Butler and Mr. Hawkes. Both of them seemed to be from the same town and I only wished I could repeat the conversation verbatim, but the best I can do is report it from memory. The fellows had evidently not met for some 3 to 15 years as the judges say. “Well,” said Mr. Hawkes, “if this Butle . said Mr. Butler, “if it {sn't Dale Hawkes “Well, Dick, expected to meet you on this train = replied Butler, “I generally take No. I just. took this train this evening because I had to be in Wilmington today.” “Where are you headed for?” asked Hawkes. “Well, I'm going to the big town,” said Butler. “So am I, and I'm certainly glad we happened to be in the same car.” “T'm glad, too, but it is funny hapepned to be in the same car.’ It seemed funy to both of them, but they successfully concealed it so far as facial expression was concerned. After a pause Hawkes spoke again: “How long since you've been back in Lansing?” “Me?" replied Butler. been back there for 12 years.” “I ain’t been back there myself for we ain't “THE OTHER NIGHT I HAP- PENED TO BE COMING BACK FROM WILMINGTON, DELA- WARE, TO WHEREVER 1 WAS GOING," “THE FELLOWS HAD EVIDENTLY NOT MET FOR SOME 3 OR 15 YEARS AS THE JUDGES SAY.” 10 years. How long since you been back there?” “Me I ain't been back there in “I ain’t been back there myself for ten vears. Where are you headed for?" . “New York. T have to get there about once a year. Where are you golng : “Me? I'm golng to New York, too. I have to go down there Avery little| while for the firm.” “Do you have to go there very often?” “Me? Every little while. often do you have to go_ there?” “About once a vear. How often do get back to Lansing?" “Last time I was therd was ten How long sin¢e you was How years ago. back?" “About 12 years ago. Lot . of changes there &ince we lived there.” “That's the way I figured it. It makes a man seem kind of old to go back there and not see nobody you know “You said something. I go along now and don’t see “How long since you was there?" “Me?” said Hawkes. “T only get back there about once every ten years. ay, what become of Old Man ho do you mean, Kelcey Yes, what become of him ‘0ld Kelcey? Why, he's been dead for ten years. “Oh, T dldn't know that. And what become of his daughter? I mean Eleanor.” “Why, Eleanor married & man named Forster or Jennings or some- thing like that from Flint." “Yes, but I mean the other daugh- ter, Louise. ‘Oh, she's married.” ‘Where are you going now?" T'm headed for New York. business for the firm.” On “I have to go there about once a year myself—for the firm.” “Do you get back to Lansing very often?"” “About once in 10 or 12 years, 1 hardly know anybody there now. It seems funny to go down the street and not know nobody.” “That's the way I always feel. It seems like it wasn't my old home town at all. I go up and down the street and don't know nobody, and nobody speaks to you. I guess I know more people in New York now than I do in Lansing.” “Do you get to New York very often?” “Only about once a year. I have to g0 there for the firm.” “New York isn’t the same town it used to be neither. “No, it's changing all the time, just ltke Lansing. 1 guess they all change.” “I don't know much about Lansing any more, I only get there about once in 10 or 12 years.” “What are you reading there?” “Oh, it's just a little article in the magazine. There's a good many teresting articles in this magazine “I only seen a couple coples of it. This thing I'm reading is a little article on ‘application’.” “Well, go ahead and read and don’t let me disturb you.” “Well, I just wanted to finish it up. Go ahead and finish what you're read- ing yourself. “All right. We'll talk things over later. It's funny we hapened to get on the same car.” A Hookworm Remedy. THE United States Public Health Service has announced results of experiments which prove that severe cases of human pellagra can be either prevented or cured by means of dried yeast. Surgs. Joseph Goldberger, G. A. Wheeler and W. F. Tanner, after the successful treatment of 25 out of 26 patients, were led to this discovery by following another disease in dogs. Black tongue, a bacterial disease with somewhat similar effects on the skin as are produced in severe cases of pellagra, also a bacterial infection, was produced experimentally in dogs. Then the dried veast was given. The cures were so satisfactory in the cases of the dog disease that the Public Health Service surgeons tried the yeast treat- ment on pellagra patlents. As early as the second or third day after the trel.gtdmanv. beneficial effects were noted. Anything That Breathes. (QRIENTAL rugs with figures of birds or animals are always the work of Christian or Buddhist "work- ers, as the Moslem is forbidden by his religion to make a representition of anything that breathes. - First Call for Next War Visiting Generals, Counts, Sea Dogs and Chemists Show What Will Not Be Left of Us. BY STEPHEN LEACOCK. T appears that it {s coming. There doesn't seem the slightest doubt about it. It may not come for a month and it might be & year in coming, but there is no doubt the next war is already looming in sight. I have gathered together all the documents that prove it—interviews and discussions with the leading men concerned in it, who simply must know what they are talking about. Let me lay some of them before the reader, and he can see for himself, on the very best authority, the situation that confronts us: Alignment in Next War. NEW YORK, July 25.—Col. The Honorable Fizzle Bangspark of the British General Army Staff, who ar- rived yesterday in New York on the Megalomania, expressed his views to the representatives of the press on the prospects of the next war. The colonel is confident that in the next war, which he thinks may begin at any time, it {s mostly likely the alignment will be that of Great Britain; France and the United States against Ger- many and Russia. But he thinks {t equally likely that it gnay be fought as between Great Britaln, Russia and Germany against France, the United States and Portu- gal. Col. Bangspark states, however, that though the war is certaln the exact alignment of the nations will be very difficult to foresee. He thinks it possible that England and Switzerland, if they get a good opportunity, may unite against France and Scotland. But it is altogether likely that in a war of magnitude, such as Col. Bangspark hopes to see, the United States and China will insist on coming in, either on one side or the other. “It they do,” continued Col. Bang- spark, “it will be hard to keep them out.” The distinguished officer conslders it difficult to say what part Japan will play in the next war, but he is sure that it will get into it somewhere When asked about the part that would be played by the races of Africa in the coming conflict, Col. Bangspark expressed a certaln amount of doubt. “It is hard to say,” he stated “whether they can get in in tim They number, of course, a great many millions, but the question really turns on whether they have had a training sufficient to let them in. As yet their armies would be hardly destructive enough, and it would be very poor policy to let them in if they do nor turn out to be deadly enough when they get in. “The black,” sald the colonel, “is a good fellow, and I like him. If he were put under first-class European officers, he might prove fairly murderous. But 1 am not as yet prepared to say that we can make a profitable use of him in the next war."” o ASKED {f the Chinese would play a large part in the coming struggle, the distinguished officer again hes tated. he Chinaman,” he clalms, “has not yet had enough contact with Eu- ropean civilizations. The Chinaman is by nature a pacifist, and it will be hard to get him away from the idea of peace.” Asked finally if the South Sea Islanders would be in the struggle, Col. Bangspark spoke warmly and emphatically in their favor. “They will be in it from the start,” he said. “I know the Polynesians well, having helped to organize native troops in the Marquesas Islands, where I was quartered at Popo Popo for two years, and in the Friendly Islands and in the Society Islands and in the Paradise Group, where I was the first man to introduce gunpowder. “The Marquesas Islander,” the col lfll\l!“\l‘ X Alimumm |l| it “THE MARQ' SONED DART COMPARES FAVORABLY WITH THE BEST WORK NTTFIC COLLEGES.” IN OUR SCIE! onel went on, “is a splendid fellow. In many ways he is ahead of us Euro- peans. His work with the blow-pipe and the poison dart antedates the use of polson in European warfare and compares favorably with the best work of our scientific colleges.” When questioned as to which side the Marquesas Islanders would come in on, the colonel &tated that he did not regard that as a matter of prime importance. He was convinced, however, that a place would be found for them, and he hoped to gee them in the front trenches (on one side or the other) on the first day. Col. Bangspark expressed himself as delighted with all that he has seen on this side of the water. He savs that he was immensely pleased with the powder works on the Hudson, and though he had not yet seen the pow der works on the Potomac, he was convinced that they were just as de- lightful. The colonel, whose sojourn in our country s to last for some weeks, will shortly leave New York to visit the powder works at South Chicago. He is accompanied on his journey by his wife and little daughter, both of whom, he expects, will be blown up in the next war. Peril from the Air. NEW YORK, July —Gen. de Rochambeau - Lafayette, director -in- chief of the French aerfal forces, was interviewed yesterday at the Ritz- more Hotel as to the prospects of world peace. The general, whose full name is the Marquis de Rochambeau- Lafayette de Liancourt de la Roche- foucauld, belongs to the old noblesse of France, and is a cultivated French gentleman of the old school. He is himself a veteran of seven wars, and is decorated with the Croix Militaire, the Croix de G the Nom de Plume r that if he were given the right £.n platform he could perhaps hit Pitts burgh. “I don't despair even of Chicago," said the admirable. “We are movin forward in 1 gunnery every vear It is merely a matter of size, leng and range. I could almost promi you that in 10 years I could have smack at St. Louis and Omaha. Car ada, unfortunately, will most v be on our side; otherwise, one migh have had a bang at Winnipeg.” Admirable Breezy said that while he as warmly in favor of peac ea war between En; United States would certain! make for good fellowship and mutua understanding between the two na “We don't now one anothe b complained, “and under cumstances I don't see how But if our fel have : at your ows and your fel a smack at o it wou for a good ur The admirable negie Hall tonight on Owes to the United & attendance (of financial pected. we can, smac s have New Chemical Terror. NEW YORK, Prof. Got Schwefeldampf, hed Ger man chemist, v terday on the the Belmore I who is a man s stature, is extreme and is at prese from the effects of vator. He speak optimism on th war 2 He considers ful future befc In the last ting up in bed a matic inflictio H e gre prospects of che The next war will, the count thinks. be opened, if not preceded by, the bombing The hotels, which the count considers comfortable and luxurious above an: thing in Europe, will probably be blown up on the first day. The Metro. politan Museum of Art, which Gen. de Rochambeau visited vesterday, and which he regards as equal to anything in the south of France, would un doubtedly afford an admirable target for & bomb. The general expressed his unbounded astonishment at the size and beauty of the Pennsylvania and the Grand Cen- tral Stations. Both, he sald, would be blown up immediately. No air squad- ron could afford to neglect them “And your great mercantile houses,” the count continued enthusiastically, “are admirable. Combining as they do a wide superficles with an outl sufficiently a pic to make it an excel lent point de mire, they could un- doubtedly be lifted into-the air at one bombing. Coming Conflict on Sea. ot New York from the air. | abled him to d ginnt We gas populati gas which | The professor spoke to of the press of new o easily have annihila resentat the present wit unfortunat use of poisor are we generc factories whereby the groun sion, we NEW YORK, July 2 Breezy, who represents type of the hearty British sailor and who makes a delightful i everywhere, is of the opinion that the next war will be fought not only on land, but on the sea and in the sky and also under the sea. *It will be fought all over the shop,” said the admirable “but I do trust that the navy will have its fair share.” The big battleship, he says, is, after he great arm of defense. We are ing guns now 40 feet long and with an effective range of 25 miles. “Give me a gun 10 feet longer,” sald the admirable, “and I will stand off New York and knock down your bally city for you.” He offered further, if given a gun 60 —Admirable the jolllest | pression | Cher bit exagge We ought to send et it. As ome, Clarence, past and begin feet long, to reach Philadelpt Every Vacation Trip’s One Great Time When You Talk About It a Year Later BY SAM HELLMAN. OW,” inquires High Dome Finnegan, “would you like to join a gang of the boys on a camping trip and—" “Ill take eczema for mine,” T cuts in quick, “or a case of locomotive ataxia.” “Forget it,” growls Finnegan. “This is a mob of swell bimbos and we'll have a wow of a time. Not for my wife's favorite hus- band,” I growls back. “Camping trips is the fondest thing I ain’t of.” “I suppose,” sneers High Dome, “you got your ideas of them from movie comedies where the tent is always flattened down by a rainstorm and the campers find a snake in the soup.” “I did not,” I assures him. “Didn't I go up the State with that gang last year—you kndw the one that Bud Heeney framed up.” “Bud told me,” returns Finnegan, “that he had a great time. “When’d he tell you that?” I asked. ‘A couple of weeks ago,” answers High Dome, “when I seen him at the John Tracy Literary and Fish- Fry Society doings.” “Two weeks ago, eh,” I sniffs. “Every trip's a great time when you talk about it a year later. You should have put your question to Bud the day he came back from the camping outrage, when I had a sprained ankle, poison ivy and a chigger bite for every kinky-head in Africa.” “Where'd you go that trip?” queries Finnegan. ¥ “Up in the Lake Woosit country,’ I tells him, “but what'’s the difference? A punch in the jaw is just the same, no matter where you get the wallop.” “They ain't jiggers or whatever you call 'em on the Blimish River, where we're going,” says High Dome. “If it ain’t chiggers,” I assures him, “4t’11 be gnats or rhingceri with rabies. You just can't get away from dis- comfort at them outdoor stunts.” “You're cuckoo,” snaps Finnegan. “Even if you do have a little discom- fort, ain’t there enough spiffy doings to make up for them? Think of fry- ing venison over an open fire, broil- ing lake trout right from the river, sitting around the campfire and spin- ning yarns, taking early morning hikes and dips in the river, climb- i 3 2 g‘Who'zs been taking their dope from the movies now?” I cut in with a jeer. “We had all them ideas in our heads last year. E\lrerybody has, when start on a trip.” ‘h’e‘%ldn't it turn out like that?” asks High Dome. “Just like a pickaninny turns out to be a Swedish blonde,” I comes back. “Venison over the open fire! I laugh ha-ha!” ‘Didn’t you get no deer?” ¢ “We didn’t get no nearer a deer,” I tells him, “than a billiard ball gets to a full head of hair. The last day we were there we thought we saw the tracks of a deer and followed it for steen and a half miles. The trek (43 “THE TREK ENDED IN THE SHED OF A FARMER, WHERE THE GOAT BELONGED.” “Bacon sizzling over an open fire don't sound so bad,” remarks High Dome, snifing the air. “Not when you read about it,” I admits. “The bacon we had might have been all right on the hoof, but on account of it falling off a pack horse into a swamp on the way to the camp it didn't stack up so good. Anyways, it seems like every time we started to do any cooking in that dump the wind’d come up and blow all the ashes and twigs in the world into the frying pan. When it wasn’t windy it was raining. Ever eat a chunk of half-raw bacon mixed with cinders?"” “If you were hungry enough,” sug- gests Finnegan, “‘even that wouldn't be so bad. Anyways, food isn't the whole thing about camping out. Didn't you have no fun outside of fattening your tummy? How was the fishing? “Not so good,” 1 comes back. “We monkeys around a week without get- ting a bite. Then we finds out from a guy that wanders by that there ain’t been a fish in that part of the river for eight vears on account of a smelter plant a few miles above that dumped acid into the water. moved camp above the smelter. “Then you got fish,” assumes High ended in the shed of a farmer where | Dol the goat belonged.” “Well,” says Finnegan, “you got squirrels and things, didn’t you?" “Not even things,” I returns. “The closest we come to getting any ani- mals was when Charlie Giff and Luke Frizzle developed charleyhorses. All we had in the way of meat was the bacen we brung with us.” * I tells him. too low up there.” “What a fine bunch of yokels your crowd must have been,” sneers Fin- negan, “pitching a camp in places like that. I suppose,” he adds, sar- castic, “you couldn’t even take any hikes or do any swimming either?" “You could walk where we was, all ““The water was right,” I admits, “if stepping on snakes, plowing through mosquitos, getting yourself all torn up by thori and stumbling over sharp rocks your idea of a handsome hil swimming was just as bad “What was the trouble there?” asks High Dome. “The water too wet?” " 1 comes back, “it was dry enough but the bottom of the river was filled with a tangle of slime and weeds. By the time you dragged yourself out of the drink you looked like a wicker basket filled with mud. ‘We had to pull Bud out of the water twice on account of his getting his toes so tangled up with the stuff in the river that he couldn’t pry himself loose. Didn’t you say something about spinning yarns around the open fire in the evening?” “I did,” rs Finnegan, eagerly. “One guy started to tell a story at our camp,” I tells him, “but you couldn’t hear him because of the snores that everybody else in the place was pulling. You don't go in for bed-time tales on those trips. You the hay early on account of the mosquitos not letting you sleep more'n two or three hours the whole night.” “How long did you stay in that cesspool?” asks High Dome. “Ten days,” I tells him. “We planned to be gone two weeks, but we cut the outing short because of the frying pan.” ““What happened to that?" inquires Finnegan. “Everybody,” T returns, “was sup- posed to take a turn cleaning it. ‘When my trick arrived it rained like hell and the rain did the job for me. The boys didn’t want to count that a | wash so there was a 1 and | words. tle argume: me particular had a few The frving pan t missed r, but it fell in the river. You can't camp without a frying pan, c: you?" “All right,” says Finnega tell the boys that I can't go.” n “1'n “Counting the Air.” ve the been condensa of an artif s man of the Weather B Magazine of W seems probable t tion of these nuclei were too minute m being far beyond the range of the microscope, and many, perhaps, individual gas molecules. Winds charge the atmosphere with millions of tons of dust e and it is often carried to g tances before it In China an s square miles is covered to hundreds and even thousa with a fine yellowish “loess,” which ‘is been brought by deserts and dry 300,000 2 depth of s of feet soil called supposed to have the winds from th steppes of central March, 1901, a series of storms occurred in the northe hara and the dust, aft & w upward by clonic w altitude, W3 over most of western Europe tc tance of 00 miles from the pla origin. An elaborate study was m. “dustfall” by two meteorologists, who estimated that not less than 1,800,000 tons of the deposit fell over the conti- nent of Europe and as much more over the Mediterranean. On the Afri- can coast the deposit is supposed to have amounted to 150,000,000 tons. A reddish haze, due to the dust blown from the Sahara, is frequently encountered by vessels in_the region between the Canaries and the Cape Verde Islands. Volcanic eruptions sometimes spread a vell of dust over a great part of the globe. The remarkable “dry fog” of 1783, which prevailed for several months in both Europe and North America, was the result of volcanic eruptions in Iceland and Japan. The dust that hung in the upper air for some years after the outbreak of the East Indian volcano Krakatoa in 1883 was responsible for gorgeous sunset glows and other optical phe- nomena. observed in this country and elsewhere. dust fe of this Fish Holds to Weeds. HE Sargasso fish, which some- times reaches three inches in length. is found exclusively among the gulfweed, says Nature Magazine. As a result of its continued life among the branches of the seaweed, the breast fins have developed into armlike limbs, between which the animal ‘can grasp and hold om to fronds of the weed,