Evening Star Newspaper, March 29, 1925, Page 78

The Spider and the Lie There’s Many a Slip "Twixt Ammonia and the Cup. N expression of unalloyed bliss| decorated the ebony features of Semore Mashby at sizat of the crowd which eddled im- patiently about the entrance to the rambling frame structure ACTos the road To his ears came the soothing symphony of silver, and the eves of the emaclated little legro gli: ned as he grew more cer- tainly certain that this latest—and riskiest—of his bus cceiving the accolade of success. His eyves were focussed upon the ate which hung above the portals of the ex-warehouse: NBGARA FALLS SKATING RINK vod Skates For Good Scouts™ njoy the Poettry of Motlon Constant Music Cents Whether You Skates sion Fift Is or Aint Got PROF ZERO HARRIS World Champeen Colored Skater Will Give Moderate Lessons at Moderate Prices within came the mournful a once-proud erchestrion, sadly in need of the ministra- 1s of some kindly mechanic. This accompanied by the rhythmic rsssh-shrreesh of wooden-rollered siates upon the well-chalked floor. e floor was a whirling mass of Birmingham's ve bestest colored society was represented by overwhelming majority, Riving mute testimony to the fact that the recrudescence of the skating craze had swept the city by storm. Semore's gaze feasted upon the revelers and he felt his money-pocket growing heavier in anticipation. Now the orchestrion wheezed away to sickening pause, then burst forth afresh in a roar of jazz. As at an agread signal the skaters aban- doned the floor and a lithe and grace- ful figure zipped to the center and -ontorted itself into a serfes of amaz- ing figures. At the crest of the wave of popu- larity which had greeted the return of roller-skating rode Professor Zero Harris, until recently a stranger to the city. Zero Harrls could skate. He whirled and pirouetted upen one wheel; he spun and glided and zipped about the smooth floor like a black- bird on wheels. Zero's personality had put across the Niagara Falls venture just as his unflagging optimism, combined with that personality. had persuaded the canny Semore Mashby into making the necessary original investment Zero Harris, it appeared. had la- hored for many years in and around skating rinks at the time when the roller sport was at its zenith. He came to Birmingham with the idea of securing a position in his profes- sion of barbering, but an acquaint- anceship with Semore Mashby, re- puted to the wealthiest man of solor in Birmingham, and his old love for the rink sport prompted him to undertake the task of interesting the Mashby capital in the venture. Tt required all of Zero's spellbind- ing art, and a readiness to risk a large percentage of his own modest capital, to bring Semore in. They divided the expense of equipment, which, under the terms of co-part- nership, was owned in common. The building had been secured by Semore a rambling structure, in the re- cesses of which Mr. Mashby had con- ducted a desultory warehouse busi- ness for a number of years. * % ok ¥ now tic was color. an UT now as Semore surveyed the scens of follity he found in his heart a sentiment which was not en- tirely happiness. Each skater rep- resented 50 cents to the Mashby eve, and Semore felt within himself keen regret that only a moiety of that sum was finding its way into his own pocket. It annoved him that Prof. Harris was sharing the financial suc- cess of the enterprise. Too, there was a more personal angle to Semore’s reluctance to share his profits with Zero Harris. And hat angle was even at the moment gliding out onto the floor, hands out- stretehed toward Zero. Miss Ammonia Mims had for some time been the apple of Mr. Mashbys matrimonial eye. He was pleased by her reputation for frugality and do- mestic alertness. Nor was her beauty entirely wasted upon Semore. He had proceeded methodically about his courtship, quite convinced that any moment he cared to lay his fortune at her feet she would plunge willing- ly into the matrimonial sea. And so she most probably would have done had not Prof. Zero Harris appeared. Ammonia ranked as the best skater 1mong the colored feminine citizenry, and that distinction marked the bond of friendship between herself and Zero, The orchestrion stumbled to a halt Zero and his lady friend glided the length of the floor and paused before the thin figure of the co-owner of the Niagara Falls. They were palpitant with the joy and excitement of the moment. . “Evenin’, partner.” “'Lo, Zero." Then, with his most radiant smile. “An' how vou is, Miss Ammonia?” She dimpled bewitchingly. able, thank you." From the other side of the floor came a terrifio crash and a shrill, plaintive feminine voice— “Mistuh Harris—0-0-0h! Preferrer Harrls! Zero was off like a streak, but when tha fair Ammonia would have pursued him Semore detained her. “Jes' a minute. Ammonia ake talk with you.” essuh, Brother Mashby. Shoot.” “It's about that Zero Harris feller, Ammonia. How come you to be so tntrusted in him?" A blush of pale lavender suffused her cheeks. w! you g'wan, Mistuh Mashby. I ain’t intrusted in Zero Harri, Her coy manner gave the lie to her words, and Semore was not pleased. “You suttinly' ac’s like he was the fondest man you is of. “Ain't he yo' partner in the ag’ra Falls an' ain't you all makin' a heap of money Semore squirmed. This was rub- bing it in with a vengeance. So Ze- ro's stock soared high with the young lady by reason of thelr co-partner- ship! “He ain’t no kind of a man fo' you to make ma'iage with, Ammonia. He ain't nothin' on’y a shif'less, none- thinkin’ skater, which if I hadn't been £00d enough to staht him off in this vink business he wouldn't hahdly have & job.” As he discerned the fiying figure of Zero Harris once again in search of Ammonia he turned away with a last bitter fling of advice—"You Is tral sin’ ‘round with Zero ‘cause you think he has got somethin’. I'se tellin’ you now, he ain't got nothin' an' he's 1'ble to lose that.” Zero claimed her, and, with arms linked, they sped away into the mass of skaters. “Tol'- I craves Ni- two * % ok HE Niagara Falls skating rink was a welter of merriment and pros- perity. Above the rhythmiec whir of skate wheels and the valiant caco- phony of the orchestrion Semore Mashby could hear the clink of money as it tinkled into the box office cash drawer, the register at the soft drink concession, the hot dog stand in the far corner. And each cent above actual expenses Semore was dividing with the debonair young professor, who repald him by dazzling the young lady whom Semors had marked out as his own. True, each had furnished an equal share of the money which provided the equipment and Zero was working without salary—having merely & modest drawing account to tide him over until the day—three months from the opening of the rink—when they should make thelr first financial accounting and division of profits; but Semore felt that without his sup- port the enterprise would have died a-hornin’. Finally an idea came to him and he merged into the night that he might walk a long distance and re- flect upon this plan to restore what he conceived to be the equities of the situation. Meanwhile Zero Harris injected the full radiance of his ingratiating per- sonality in the effort to bewitch the marvelous Ammonia Mims. Ammo- nia liked the young gentleman and made no bones about it. Only the annoyance of her recent scene with Semore Mashby disturbed the seren- ity of their contentment. “Don’t you worry 'bout what Se- more Mashby says,” insisted Zero. “Aw! Zero. But Semore is a pow'ful man in Bummin'ham.” uh! He ain't got a thing but money." “Money counts. “Ise gittin’ money, Lookit all bits each. Two bits out of each ad- mission oes to me after espenses is taken out. Also I an’ Semore gits a «plit fum the hot-dog an' sof'-drink concessions. Ise gwine make a heap of money in this rink. Sughr-foot; an’ when I does so I is gwine ast a suttin’ young lady will she leave off her job of stenographing fo' Lawyer Evans Chew an’ take & position look- In’ after my house.” “You hush!" The following morning Mr. Mashby presented himself at the office of Lawyer Evans Chew. The suite of offices occupied by the erudidite colored attorney were at- tractive in the extreme. A ground- glass door opened from the hallway into a large and alry anteroom in one corner of which was & near-mahog- any typewriter desk where sat the trim figure of Miss Ammonia Mims. “Mawnin', Ammonia." “Mawnin', Mistuh Mashby fas Lawyer Chew come in yet?" “He'll be heah mos' any minute. on't you be—" The door was flung open and Law- ver Evans Chew breezed fnto the room. The attorney was in fine fet- tle. “What I can do you for this mawn- in, Mistuh Mashby? PR NCE closeted with the lawyer in the latter's mahogany-furnished office, Semore outlined & certain finan- cial deal which aimed at the finan- cial destruction of Prof. Zero Harris. “In the fust place, Lawyer Chew, you know that 1 an’ Zero is in part- nership with that skatin' rink.” “] s aware of that sallent fac’, Brother Mashby.” “We has been runnin' 8ix weeks an’ we ain't due to settle up until the end of th'ee months. That means six weeks mo’ befo' we has an account- ing. In other words, except that he has a drawin’ account, Brother Har- ris don't know where he is at, n'r neither he won't know until us set- tles. Now I aims that when he fin's out where he is at, he won't be there.” Chew too, Sweetness rubbed the palms of his hands together unctuously. “Preceed, Brother Mashby: preceed. It begins to sound like you exhibited yo' per- ceptions when you sillected me as Y0 or i# e nisaway,” explained the lit- tle man. “The buildin' that the Niag'ra Falls rink is in was one which T has used as a warehouse fo about th'ee years. The business nev- er amounted to much an' not on'y I paid 320 a month fo' same, but I ain’'t never had no lease, jest rentin fum month to month. Now what I craves is this; that you should get me & five-yeah leass at §20 a month or even 325 does the owner think maybe the propitty is wuth a little moren_what he has been gettin' fo same. Does you understand?” “I has a vast comprehension.” “Also, Lawyer Chew, 1 craves that Brother Harris don't know mnothin’ about my takin' out this lease.” “You aims fo' him to think you had it all the time?” “Ezac'ly.” There was considerably more con- versation before the smaller man de- parted. He made his way to his own musty, dingy sanctum, where he gave 110 per cent of his attention to the task of evading the usury laws of Alabama. Meanwhile, having set in motion the machinery which he hoped would eventually macerate Mr. Zero Harris, he forgot the affair in the twin in- terests of his courtship of Ammonia and his pursuit of additional lucre to add to his healthy bank accounts. And 8o immersed was he in both that until the storm burst he was un- aware of the fact that Fate had step- ped in and dealt him a royal flush from a cold deck Fate's emissary in this particular case was no les® a personage than Miss Mallissie Cheese, one of the most bewitching of Darktown's belles. Malilissle was there on all counts She wae bhuilt on generous lines, which, however, remained within control; and she was inclined to be a vamp. = * ok ok ¥ HE covetous eve of Miss Cheese had fallen upon the trim figure of Prof. Zero Harrls, and she found herself much pleased. Quite deliber- ately, therefore, Mallissio set about the task of appropriating Zero to her own uses. She started by paying him a bonus price for privats lessons— given publioly. And Zero, being a good business man, fell into the trap. He regretted the fact that it took much of his rink time from the fair Ammonfa, but he was sure Ammonia. these folks in heah at 4| would understand—so sure. that he didn’t even bother to explain. And even if he had explained, it is more than probable that Ammonia would not have cared to understand, since she not only was vastly fond and jealous of Zero, but she desplsed Mal- lisste. Night after night when the merry- makers jammed the well chalked floor of the Niagara Falls Skating Rink, Zero went dutifully about his task ‘of teaching Mallissie to skate, whilst Ammonia pretended to be in- different to the attentions which she fancied he was lavishing upon the other woman And, although she maintained a courageous front, she shed many sad. salt tears in the seclusion of her golden-oak-furnished boudoir. In blissful ignorance, Zero skated to his fall, and that fall ocourred one night when a more important en- gagement caused Mallissie Cheese to remain away from the rink. The Place was crowded with eager hu- manity and Ammonia was pointedly accepting the attentions of the young cavaliers who flocked about her. Zero admired her from a distance for a few minutes and then, when the music had stopped momentarily and the crowd about her thinned some- what, he glided across the floor and bowed smilingly. How 'bout skatin' the next waltz with me, Ammonija?"’ Events of the past fortnight had cut Miss Mims to the quick. Her head tipped to one side and she arched her penciled eyebrows disdainfully. “Says which?" How 'bout givin' me a skate?" “How come you to espec’ me to do such, Prof. Harris?" Zero grinned; she would have her little joke. “You is the humorestest Ammonia. C'mon; le's us skate.” o. “Tha's what T sald. Is you blind that you cain't heah me?” Obviously, Zero was. “Leave off yo' Jokin', Ammonia—-" ain’t jokin' “You ac’s like such.” “Ac's like ain't is like.” “But, Ammonia——"" “Don’t you go buttin’ me. An' T Want you to understan’ right now that I ain’t no kind of a gal which you can skate with when they ain't nobody else which you ecraves to skate with more. Tha's all, Mistuh Harria Tha's ev'y last word I has Bot to say about it or you, an' the sooner you fin's yo'se’f another lady pahtner the better off I Is gwine be." * ok ok % INJEWS of the quarrel spread swittly about the haell and more than one feminine eve lighted eagerly at the prospect that, now Zero wWas an unwilling free agent, there might be some chance to ensnare his approval. More than one of these scheming yofing ladles took occasion to pour kerosene upon the fires of Ammonla's righteous indignation. Though the kindly offices of the Eossipy Sfs Callle Flukers, Semore Mashby was made aware of the status, and a chortle of unadulterated delight came from between the Mash- by lips. But Semore was not entirely de- luded. He knew that Ammonia was Infatuated with Zero and that the lovers' quarrel was a. thing of troublous inpermanence. On the other hand, if he could effect the departure of Mr. Harris from Bjrmingham, there was a strong likellhood that Ammonia might eventually come to his arm: With Semore deluging Ammonia with attention and Zero constantly In the society of the Junoesque Miss Cheese, the cosmic scheme of the principals was at sixes and sevens. And it was during that period that Lawyer Evans Chew summoned Am- monia and dictated to her the terms of the lease which he had secured from the owner of the warehouse in which the Niagara Falls Skating Rink was located. The lease was vears at a monthly rental of $25, and it was executed in favor of Semore Mashby Ammonia looked up from her note- book— “To Semore Mashby?" she inquired, “or to Mistuh Mashby an' Mistuh Harris?” “Semore.” Chew shook his head “I got a hunch he {s fixin’ to do Zero dirt.” “How come?” “Them two fellers ain't gwine have a settlement fo' another th'ee weeks yet, an’ Zero mos’ likely ain't thought nothin’ ‘bout the rent. Now heah goes Semore leasin’ the bufldin’ himself, which he has rented fum month to month befo, an’ the chances is he's gwine stick the partnership heavy fo' rentin’ fum himself.” Semore’s procedure Was now very clear to Ammonia, and her first senti- ment was one of unholy joy that some one was about to bring suffering to the man who apparently had abandon- ed her that he might pursue the flagrant Mallissie. But gradually that feeling subsided in bitterness against Semore Mashby, and a wish that she and Zero were friends again that she might pass on to him the proof of his partner’s perfldy. At length she tossed her head. That was out of the question . . . and she had the satisfaction of knowing that what- ever Zero's true feelings might be re- garding her, he would suffer by reason of their quarrel. * ok ok % AN era of magnificent prosperity had descended upon the Niagara Falls Skating Rink. Flushed with success, Zero's inventive brain was working overtime, and he commenced promoting a succession of special affairs which taxed the capacity of the rink to its utmost. - Then Mashby conceived the idea of a skating race for ladies! He knew that Ammonia was easily the. best of Birmingham's feminine skaters; she was not only master of the more elementary fancy figures, but she could make genuine speed about the smooth, well chalked floor. By promoting a race for the fair five BY OCTAVUS ROY COHEN sex, then, Semore realized that he was affording her the opportunity for a triumph such as she had never be- fore experlenced. ‘The night of the race would be a red-letter one for her, and he planned the regal pres- lentation of a silver cup to her im- medlately at the triumphent conclu- sion of the contest. He suggested the plan to Zero and that gentleman sparkled with enthu- siasm. “Fine! That's a swell ides Semore." “Who you reckon same?” ‘Ammonia.” Semore simulated surprise. reckon she's gwine win?" “Semore—they ain't no woman in Bummin-han can skate as fast front- ways as she can baokwards. They ain't no mo' chance of beatin' that gal in a skatin' race in Bummin'ham than they is of makin' a cullud man saddern what I Is right now.” He laid a gentle hand on Semore's shoul- der. gal i\ “Well, she was tellin' me t'othe: day that she was sick an’ tired of you Said you wasn't no good, or somethin’ Anyway, she wasn't complimentin You none.” Zero writhed. Then, alone, he gave thought to the words of Mr. Mashby and a bit of light penetrated. emore had been unnecessarily frank in passing along the good word and there had been an evil glint in the Mashby eye. Too, Zero hadn't been unmindful of the avid attention which Semore had been paying Am- monia. It was possible . . . but Zero shook his head determinedly. He wouldn't believe that. Still, here was Semore promoting a skating race for no reason in the world save to give Ammonia a chance to shine before the publi, and Zero knew the young lady well enough to realize that she would be duly grateful to the crea- tor of the opportunity. The Niagara Falls attained the end of the third month of its existence, and that night after the rink closed Zéro Harris and Semore Mashby re- tired to the latter's office for the first settlement. Zero was eager and elert, but there was about Mr. Mashby a pecullar diffidence, which, however, escaped the eye of his partner. “It's thisaway,” he explained to Zero. *Us has been runnin’ fo' three montha Su'tract'in our rumnin’ ex- penses durin’ that time we shows a net earnin’ on the runnin’ of the rink of five hund'ed and ten dollars. Is that satisfactory " Zero's eves glistened. Brother Mashby.” “Yo' half of that," pursued Semore, “would be two hund'ed an’ fifty-five dollars, but you has drawed out one hund'ed an’ sixty “Tha's right. Tha's right, Brother Mashby—I ain't 'sputin’ you on that.” Zero did\a little quick figuring. “So vou jes' give me the ninety-five dol- fars which is due me, an'— Mr. Mashby arched his evebrows in- quisitively. “Says which?" “Says you give me my balance of ninety-five dollars.” You ain't got no sech of a balance. “How come not?" Semore strove to conceal his nerv- ousness. “Fac of the matter, Mis- tuh Harrls, you not only ain't got no ninety-five dollars comin’ to you, but you owes me one hundred an’ five dollars cash mon Zero gasped. “Wha's that you Is sayin’ with you mouf?’ “I says you owes me one hund'ed an’ five dollars.” “You is crazy as you looks.” “Huh! You don't know what you is talkin' about.” “An’ you ain't talkin' about nothin’. Semore—an’ you is likely to forget that. What you ain’t got in yo' haid is no brains—speechifyin’ 'bout me owin' you money. How come you to spill so much foolishment fum be- tween yo' lips? Mr. Mashby replied with excessive dignity. “Yo' fo'gits the rent.” “The which?" “The rent.” “Which rent>" “The rent which Mashby & Harris, proprietors of the Niag'ra Falls Skat- in' Rink is payin' to Semore Mashby fo' said rink."” Zero shook his head slow much that is, Semore?’ “Sixteen hund'ed dollars a vear Tha's four hund'ed dollars & quarter; two hund’ed I pays an' two hund'ed vou pays. You has ninety-five dollars comin’ to you; yo uowes two hund'ed fo' rent. So you ain't got nothin’ comin’ to you besides that you owes me one hund’ed an’ five dollars.” * % ¥ ¥ M= Harris rose and crossed the room. The thing was not en- tirely clear to him, but he had a hunch that he was being stung. He spoke without turning. “Ev'ything you gits, you gits he summarized. ‘An’ ev'rything I gits you gits." “Looks that way,” argued Semore genially. “Fact of the matter is, seems like to me you has made a ba business deal. Looks like the best thing you can do is to get out an’ find you a regular job to earn that hun- d'ed an’ five dollars you owes me. ‘Cause the longer you remains where you is at the worser you glts into ebt. Zero's slender fingers were trem- bling. His next remark was made in a low, puzzled volce as though in- tended for his own enlightenment— “I wuks hahd fo' three months an’ gits nothin' an’ then at the end of that time T still has that much, less a hund'ed dollars.” An idea smote him and he whirled. “How come this rent business ain't never been mentioned befo’ “Never was due ontil now,” retugned Semore logically. “Hmm! It seems wrong." “Seems ain't is. Now I tell you what 1 18 willin’ to do, Zero, I'se willin’ you should assign to me all yo' right, title an’ interest in the Niag'ra Falls fo' one hund'ed an’ five dollars, same bein' how much you owes me I goes ahald an' operates same en- tirely at my own espense an' releases vou fum all obligation. Don't that sound falr?’ “Mm-hmm! It soun’s so awful fair that somethin’ tells me it ain't.” “The longer you keeps on wukkin' fo' the Niag'ra Falls the less you has got.” Zero's eyes narrowed. now,” he said positively. “How come not “Pussonal reason Semore understood. Until late that night Zero walked the streets alone, glving melancholy thought to his sudden break in luck. At 2 o'clock in the morning he was making his way mourntully down Avenue F when the door of Lawyer Gvans Chew’s house opened and Flo- rian Slappey, the Beau Brummel of Darktown, emerged. He tossed & bit of airy persiflage over his shoulder at the dejected comembers of the Full House Poker Club who stood upon the Chew veranda—then, seeing his lone- some friend, linked arms and strolled down the street with him. “You look like you happened to an accident, Zero." Welcoming the opportunity, Zero passionately poured his troubles into the receptive ear of his friend. Florian loosed a flood of indigna- tion which was surcharged with in- vective against the perfidious Mr. Mashby. » “An'," he concluded, doin’ such he aims to take yo' bus: ness away fum you, run you out of Bummin’ham an’ ma'y yo’ gal.” No?" Yeh. An' you is enough of a suck- erfish to fall fo' it.” is gwine win “You “Sho'ly am, “How ‘What you reckon is eatin’ that “Cain’t quit} “You mean Semore is studyin' ma'yin Ammonia?" “Suttinly."” “An’ he figgers that does I git out of town he can do same?” “You is tootin' now, Son. Zero smashed his right fist into the palm of his left hand. “Dawg-gone his hide!" I'se gwine teach him. I'se gwine git revenge fo' this dirty work.” “Wh-wh-what you aims to do to him, Zero? “I'se gwine keep on wukkin' at the rink!” And he did, but no longer did he work in the dark. ' EE HE day of the race found Zero busy with decorations. The silver trophy had been purchased and en- graved, and was on display in the center of the rink. At noon Zero tele- phoned Ammonia. “Miss Mims “Uh-huh. “This {s Zero.” “Who Zero 182" “I'se he. “T ain’t the kind of a gal to make talk with strange gemmen.” The re- ceiver clicked on the hook and Zero urned miserably away. Ho understood now why Semore 1ad conceived the idea for the race. it afforded Ammonia public opportu- uity for triumph and it was a cinch that Miss Mims would be grateful to the man who made that triumph possible. By 7 o'clock that evening the rink had been prepared. Ropes had been stretched around the floor of the rink to mark the fnner boundaries of the racing track. These ropes were attached to stakes which had been stuck in the floor with the help of slender and sharp nails. Within the inclosure and at each of the four points of the compass had been placed small tables. On each of these tables was a large can of powdered chalk Cach can had a perforated top and each was to be presided over by & man whose duty it was to keep fresh chalk sprinkled on the track during the course of the race that the skates might not slip on the sharp turns. Semore Mashby himself had insisted upon presiding over the chalkbox at the curve nearest the finish line. Ammonia’s advent was the signal for tumultuous applause. She was clad in a new sport suit of white trimmed lavishly with cerise. On her ample feet were new laced boots and she wore mbout her ebony throat a lamb's-wool scarf such as she .had seen in moving pictures of colder courtries. Zero Harris, whose role was that of master of ceremonies, eved her longingly and only the fear of pub- lic rebuff deterred him from again seeking a reconciliation. As @ matter of fact. Ammonia had long since wearied of the warfare. But lest he might presume that her pride was not so strong as his, she maintained an attitude of severe aloofness which dissuaded him from attempting eleventh hou mends. Mr. Mashby made his way through the excited throng toward Zero's pri- vaté office. . A bit of disconcerting dialogue came to his ears. “This race sho'ly gwine be a fine thing fo' Zero Harris” commented the first voice. “How come?' “He's pow’ful Mims, aint he?” You said it “An' Ammonia is gwine win, ain't she?’ “Uh-huh. Barrin' accidents. “An she's gwine be terrible grate- ful to the man which taught her to skate'" “Shuah—but T heard tell it was Se- more which fust thunk of havin' the race.” “That don't make no diffence. Does a gal git popular on account she does somethin’ she is gwine be grateful to | the man which taught her how to do sam This, indeed, was a new angle to the situation. It had not occurred to him that Ammonia's gratitude would be directed other than in his direc- tion. Contemplation of that pos- sibility was vastly disturbing. “Dawg-gone!” he soliloquized, “if tha’s the way she looks at it, 1 mos' hope she loses.” He returned to the beckoned to Ammonia. “I has arranged things so th you is closest to the ropes when the race stahts, Ammonia. You jes' keep on the inside an’ all them other gals will have to swing wide on the turns 8o you won't have to travel near so far as they does.” 5 He laid a tentative finger on her arm—“An’ don't you go forgittin'. Miss Mims, that I thunk up this race ‘bout fond of Ammonia inclosure and Roosevelt and Dawes (Continued from Fourth Page.) “Pre-sent!” and Pendleton won this privilege. The principals took position. The signal was given and Burr quickly rafsed his pistol and fired. Hamilton did not fire, but as he pitched for- ward onto his face his pistol was discharged into the air. Burr rushed to him and helped carry him to his | boat. He had been shot in the right side, and as he lay in the boat, re- crossing the river, he turned to the surgeon and said: “This is a mortal wound, Doctor." Later he said: I did not intend to fire. Pendleton will tell you.” By night the news that Vice President Burr had mortally wounded Alexander Hamilton in 2 duel had spread through the city and caused intense indignation likewise and excitement. Crowds gathered, bul- ! letins were issued every hour and on every hand Burr was condemned. Ham ilton dfed at 2 o'clock the next after noon, surrounded by his wife and his seven children, and Burr fled. The Gov- ernor of the State and all other dis- tinguished personages of the day at- tended Hamlilton's funeral, while great crowds stood along the route of the fu- Remarkable Operation. OEY BORDANARO, five years old, was discharged from a Cleveland, Ohio, hospital after what surgeons have considered the most remarkable appendicitis operation in medical history. Joey shot himself while playing with a revolver. The bullet severed the appendix at the exact spot where the surgeon's knife cuts. Betause the bullet went through Joey's body. the surgeons merely reached in through an incision and removed the severed appendix. An examination of it showed that the boy would have had to undergo the regular operation in a few years. ey World's Deepest Well. HE deepest well in the world was completed recently by engineers near Latrobe, Pa., when they struck natural gas at a depth of 7,428 feet, or nearly one and one-half miles. Work on the well was begun in 1922 and drilling continued for 30 months. The gas is now flowing at the rate of 500,000 cubic feet a day. It has a strong odor, like that of hydrogen sulphide, according to the engineers who constructed the well. The total cost of sinking the well was about $200,000. 2 414 il 4 f 77 i THE FEET OF MISS AMMONIA MIMS DIVORCED THEMSELVES FROM THE GROUND. —also boughten the solld silver cup which you wins.” She flashed him a radiant smile “1 ain't forgittin’, Mistuh Mashby. 1 never forgits nothin’, no time.” And in her mind was remembrance of the deal by which Semore had | euchered Zero Harris out of many | dollars, ! *x % WHISTLE shrilled, the orchestra | droned off into silence, the crowd stilled. With some difficulty Zero lined up the racers, putting Ammonia nearest the ropes. “On yo' mark! t set” And the | tiny revolver cracked and they were oft. Ella Dungee and Ammonia Mims flashed ahead of the crowd. But al- though Ella was speedy, Ammonia's easy stride was sufficiently strong to | enable her to hold the inside, and she rounded the first curve inches ahead of Ella and comfortably in the lead of the others. | Before the completion of the first| lap the racers had divided into two| distinct groups, the leaders, consist- ing of Ammonia, Ella Dungee, Mrs. Evans Chew and Mrs. Maudine Pig- | tord. They completed the second lap, and the third. Maudine Pigford was tir-| ing, and Mallissie Cheese was pulling | away from the tailenders and bid- | ding for a position among the lead- | ers. They rounded the north curve, swung by Semore Mashby, and set off | on the fifth lap. At a signal from | Semore, each of the officials seized his can of powdered chalk and sprin- kled it on that section of the track fmmediately before him Ammonia lengthened her stroke. | She held close into the ropes as she neared Semore, crossing right leg over left with each powerful thrust The gap between her and Mrs. Chew her nearest rival, widened. She smiled warmly at the wizened Mr. Mashby and then— Something happened. The feet of Ammonia Mims divorced themselves from the ground. A por- tion of Miss Mims not generally em- ploved in staking placed itself where the feet had been There was a roar of surprise sprin- kled with laughter.. Ammonia clam- bered to her feet and set out in pur- suit of Ella Dungee and Mrs. Chew both of whom had passed her. She could hear occasional bits of merri- ment, but she was undaunted. Em- ploying all of her latent speed, she had passed both the leaders before again reaching the turn where Se- more Mashby stood industriously sprinkling chalk on the floor. neral parade. Great numbers of Burr's friends marched in the procession Burr was indicted, but never tried, and in the Fall returned. He re- sumed his seat as presiding officer of the Senate when that body met in December and served out his term until the following March 4. after which he launched his ill-fated expe- ditlon into Texas, where it was sus- pected he contemplated establishing a nation and making himself its em- | peror. He was suspected of planning to annex some of the new Western States to his enterprise, and in 1807 he was arrested, indicted for treason | and brought back to Richmond, where | he was tried by Chief Justice John Marshall of the United States Su- preme Court and a jury. He was ac- quitted and went abroad, where he lived for several years, but returned in his old age, resumed the practice | of law In New York (where he was |in {rink tifl an outcast) and died in 1836 in Ammonla was angry. Laugh at her. would they? She determined to make race of it right there. Her feet fairly twinkled as she rounded the curve and shot by Semore's post And then it happened again. Only time it occurred twice as forei- The crowd shrieked with laugh- The other skaters, swinging | wide to avoid the prostrate figure, shot by. She noticed the other wom- en on the far turn—all swinging wide, She alone had the knack of holding| the inside without slackening speed.| And, just when she would have re- tired from competition, Semore bent over her eagerly “You on an’ win,” he commanded feckly she turned to obey, but as she swung out in pursuit of the others his voice came to her ears in well meant advice: “Keep yo' feet, Ammonia. never gwine win this race down Murder flamed in her heart with Semore as the murderee. knew that she would get even with| iim. She'd humble herself and make | friends with Zero Harris, and she'd | tell him about the trickery of Semore | connection with the lease on th he'd make it plain to Zero that when Semore took the lease in his| own name it W the same as| though he had done <o in the name of | partnership, and that the benefits of | the low rental were his as well as Semore’s. She'd tell him all that—be- cause she despised Semore as the| author of her miseries. She was stroking mechanically now, | head swimming, body aching from too violent contact with the floor. Her | riumph had fizzled. She was tasting gall and wormwood. Perhaps even ero would have none of her now The thought hurt s Her speed was not yet gone knew that she couldn’t win, but least she could come in ahead of Mal- lissie Cheese. She negotiated the lower turn in safety, sped down the other side and swung once again to- ward Semore. And once agaln in that fatal spot her feet parted com- pany with the ground. Even the riek of delirious laughter from the crowd failed to drown the crash PR ROF. ZERO HARRIS lifted the battered form of Ammonia Mims | in his sinewy arms, “C'mon, honey It was the first kind word which had come to her. She flung her arms about the neck of the man who held her. “Oh! Zero Semore insinuated himself before them. “Ammonia z You ain't sittin then. | She | 2 | while | me ev'ything “Git away fum heah!” she sizzled Then she faced Zero. “I'se got some thin' to tell you, Zero; somethin about that Mashby man which you is gwine be happy to hear. They retired to the side lines and watched Mrs. Evans Chew win fro Ella Dungee. Ammonia turned wea: to Zero. “Take me away fum heal honey. I never want to see a skat no mo’.” “Jes' a minute.” He took her by tb hand and towed her across the floo They were alone on the track nea the spot where Ammonia’s three catastrophes had occurred. Zero d rected her attention to a glisten section of the floor immediately front of Semore’s post. “See that? “Uh-huh.” “Feel it.” She applied a finger to the smooth surface. “It's slick.” she sald Sho'ly it is, Ammonia. Now loo He picked up the can of pow chalk which Semore had useil rinkled a bit of the floor. “Rub he commanded did so. and immediately the r became slippery where the ru & occurred WVhat is it, Zero® “It's thisaway,” he explained more Mashby knowed that T an’ was suttin’ to make up sooner later did you keep on comin’ to th rink, an’ he figgered that ifn he could git you disgusted wi skatin’ that you wouldn't never b frien’s again. an’ he could make ma iage with you He drew a deep breath. “All what that mar done was to empty the powdered chalk out of that can and put pow- dered wax in it instead. He knowad you was the on'y lady which could skate good enough to take them turns close—an ev'y time 3 made this curve yo' skates hit that pwdered wax an’ you hit the floor.” She was all for committing ma slaughter right then and there. And Zero personally removed he well waxed skates she told him « Semore’s perfidiousnesa. Jh! sugar foot,” he murmured gratefully, “vou has sholy tol' m somethin’ now. I'se gwine make tha cullud buzzard wiggle You sho'ly was sweet to tell it to me, Am monia yor So— tell An' is too?" " he swore, gwine Zero. you evthing I vou gwine tell 1 suttinly i on.” To himself he added: “But they ain’t no sense bein' fool enough to tell her it was I which put powdered wax in the can Semore used. - (Copyright, 1925.) ‘Fum now as Presiding Officers a house which an old friend permit- ted him to use free of charge because he was in such dire poverty he could not pay rent Van Buren was the first Vice Presi- dent to be elected President after the Constitution was amended, but he had hard sledding when he became a can- didate for re-election. A member of Congress made a speech describing minutely each article of household goods in the White House, including the gold spoons used at the Presi- dent's table. (Gen. William Henry Harrison was the Whig candidate, and “log cabin” and “hard cider” became the slogans of the campaign. Harri son’s military success was immortal- ized in a campaign song, “Tippecanoe and Tyler, Too.” which swept the country, together with a poem Farewell, dear Van, You're uot our man To guide the ship, We'll try old Tip Jackson's friends had invented e S s IR i T v g {@f@’,fi;nfiw | W " wnde e e MCE T e My Sents | | 22 T By Foe pscniiodes - torchlight parades, banners and sym bols in the form of hickory poles. but in 1840 the Whigs turned t tables. The Democrats worked har but the country “wanted a change. and the excuse to turn Van Bure out was that he ate with a goid spoon, whereas the rugged old India fighter, Harrison, had been bom a log cabin and weaned on har cider. Such logic.was unanswerabl: and Harrison was overwhelming elected The next four Vice Presidents become President did so upon death of the Chief Executive. were Tyler, Filimore, Johnson Arthur, none of whom was chosen succeed himself. Then came “Teddy who succeeded to the presidenc upon McKinley's death and was then elected to the office himself—whi has also been the experience of Ca vin Coolidge. (Copyright, 1925.) edbtw 8w THE HARRISON AND VAN BUREN BATTLE. CARTOON OF THE CAMPAIGN OF 1836, SHOWING GEN, JACKSON ON THE SIDELINES.