Evening Star Newspaper, April 6, 1924, Page 79

Wallace Irwin's Japanese Schoolboy Letters . The Star, who ®re oftenly sick when argued with. EARE SIR—Yestdy a.m. while standing on St. cor. to my brain ing? A sight. For there Arthur Kickahajama, Japa- undertaker, wearing every- uew throughout his clothes. stove-top hat, vatented leather shoes, to say g of his pants stylish) glisten at me th Coolidge & Prosperity ex- sion. And what I see gleaming his mournful knecktie? One (1) (limiiond stuck-pin, by golly. arranged vith jewelry to m following Te- marks fRest in Piece. O Arthur Kickahs nervely, “what have i that rich look ] a ma,” 1 narrate ppened 1o give h? - plumber, have the 1 repartee Kindly to gaz 508 cane at fol- HARO M ORNS CONSUMT (ARBUNKLES CA ANCER OITH rTON ALEPROSY COLDS GLAN have J. Haro have ould disease: s them.” ation he 1 you o al cases he xtra charge. is from me. Haro t very were & zood f poor plumber lack sifficient in- for that hard profession. e would quit and Then he find noy he are in puzz s many yrs of wise enough to and powder intestines hur Kickaha- always 199 yre When you die 1 shall re so stale 1 doctor were | out | tice | Nobody but Old Foggies Sefence ¢ hops. Anyhody sign his name or dotty line can payment on the that phenomenal I say.” he f me what o indly to where Dr. or mutual b 3 nefat Mla his shoes to cross Door and cetting there ckle. Pretty fly ope while Dr. J open Hon tienee kind Hon. ¢ up th drop; fatty J sat & fall dead on the sad!” commute Dr. J. Haro I feel sorra for per- kill them?" I require. for this one” he narrate. “So advance. And dead pretty rusi amputat ¥ bus Arthur & ) busy to see undertakers, tlaro with sweetly smil- wards and have a pleas- nt chatter.” nio Hon. Office we go combined. tty room with portrait on wall. Over a it desk there hanked a picture-frame with following Vred ot srmation DYPLOMA Inecoruy h e to snignify Jehin Haro, having purchased d-up policy, price 20§ cash, dunte of the Medicine Hat Medicine and Other This will qualify him Practice mukes perfect, do bly. Never say dic while Still divi 1o Universita scar J. Harpey, Pres, re rather proud of my littie as- tiblishment,” J. Haro, shaking hands with himself. 1re ns arise from poverty to what T see; he | “Phisic- | have | Haro, | anese who | 1 forgot to collect his | men pay ! Hocus pocus madi- | ' death rate among Japanese.” | d enormally | Medical | ug time | i he say “If you will | 53 (first installment) 1| { will show you 44 fiy-by-night-school | | Institutions in this State which will | | graduate you in 24 hrs in following: | —Pully (leg or tooti) | —Curing of Hydrophobia, Botts of | Ham, 3—Surgery, Menicuring & Haircut- ting | “4—How to Run a Hospital Without | going to Jail { “So you xce. dearie friend Togo, It are easier to be a Doctor than a| Plumber under generous laws of U. 8. | A. And not only that. I shall not re- | | main foreverly in cumparative pov- | lerty of Gen. Practitioner. Pretty | coonly I shall save sufficient money | o get myself a stylish office and a ottomobile with cut-glass windows, That will make me a Specialist.” “On what will you Speciulize on? sk it Gall-bladders & Pocketbooks: denounce while arising uply. now, Arthur & Togo, 1 must bad you good morning. Very busy to day. Awaiting outside are a wealthy rich Jupanese who I have promused to cure from having fite." “Do he have fits®’ are next ques- tion for me “He will have when I have fin- ished.” xay Dr. Joshio Haro, bending his polite stummack. While going outside T say to Arthur 1 he na | EVER TOO BUSY TO SEE UNDERTAKERS.” REJECT DR. J. HARO. “Arthur," I say so, “since the age of twe (2) yrs old I have wanted to be a doctor & assist in having appen- dicitius, & other nervus disseases. | previously I have thought { too axpensive to learn. change. Goody! I shall save get myself a Dyploma.” | “So happy to hear that!" collapse | Arthur with sweetly smiling. “Tell me the day rou start to be a doctor and I shall move my Undertaking Store into a larger building.” Therefore he walked away from me looking crooked. Hoping you are the same Yours truly HASHIMURA (Copyright. 1924.) it were But now I 258 and TOGO. But& Ring Lardner Announces His Reform Platform O the editor: A little wile ago ¢ a magazine in N. Y. city took a straw ballot around the country in regards to who the people wanted for their next presi- dent and It seems that a lady in either Towa or California ‘expressed thelr preference for the undersigned. When this come out in public the lady In question was arrested in a friendlly way and it was developed in court that one of her maternal an- cestors was subject to paranoia on the father's side and the lady in questions has now took a life least on & one room apartment which the walls s upholstered in rubber which all she can do Is bounce back and 4th. The above was called to my tension and I was asked pt. blank would I jrun and 1 says T was llke Mr. Ford { und was perfectly satisfied with the | gent now in office, but since then a ! whole lot of pressures has been | Lroughten to bear by the citizens of ! North Carolina where 1 been stop- ping begging me would I please run und T kept usking them why and they ! would not toil me but finely & Ashe- ville boy named Holloway betrayed their confiden, the big | demand for me was on acct. of a crav- |ing for a president-elect who was libel to die before the inauguration. He says if I was nominated the citi- zens of Asheville would see that I | died. He says they would see that I dled young but that Is too late. ‘Well friends this news come to me | 1ike a big thunder bold but since it | come I have made inquiries here and | | there and the consensus seems to be | that practically everybody wants me | for president but afraid to say so as | they.do not care to suffer the fate of | the gal in either California or lowa. So 1 have made up what I nickname my mind to run for same but only on one condition namely that it will | be a secret ballot. The voting will | be done by mail und any letters that come in voting for somebody else | will be returned to the writer with | | the notation “Opencd by mistake. | 1t elected on these grounds I will| precede on the following platforms: . | | 1. The capital will be moved to { Palm Beach to save telegraph tolls, | | 2. The congress will il half to be | composed of deaf mutes. In other | | words it will half to be a deaf and| Jts Dt Y-6- v “I WAS ASKED POINT-BLANK WOULD I RUN.” dumb congress which means that the | present incumbrance can remain in| ofice provided they get hard of hearing. i #. All conversations between govt. cMcials must be carried on in some | simple code. Like for inst. the presi- dent wants another pt. of corn, why instead of saying it right out he must say WOR Newark which is the code ed by Sherlock Holmes when he was chief of the burro. 4. A} the members of the cabinet must throw their real names in the ush. bbl. and be nicknamed by the president. They will be called spectfully “Prunes,” “Pears.” “Nuts Artichokes,” “Spinac < and va- | | "Raspberrics™ They won't be choice in regards to whe is who ex cept that the secretary of probably be Spinach. All that is im portant is that want this to down in history as the fruit cabine: Yes but we have no bananas. 5. The White House the way ran don’t seem to be paying exp on acct. of nobody charging for rooms. Under my administratioh we will change the name of it to the White House hotel and everybody i welcome provided they stay all night and pay $5.00 per day meals a lu carte. The way they got it now they are open from noon till 2 to recelve visitors but nobody wants to lay down a wile and rest up and when the elerk says will you please pay your bill they say what for and hr ain't got no answer except in code | _6.0n acct. of the capital being ir { Palm Beach the place where the president lives will be rawa as you can get at the name Medford, Oregon. where apples which will tion to the fruit « 7. Dogs not acc sire must e left @ long with wifes 8. Not responsible for valy in rooms. The hotel is pro + vault in which valuables may yinh(vrkvd. state will we it i they ther riir add inet ompanicd n the ch ables lof tded wit be in 9. An extra service charge of $.2f for meals served in rooms. 10. Laundry sent out before 3 AM will be returned dirty the same day 11. All towels are marked with the |nlmr of the hotel or Pullman com | pany. All guests leaving with tower | on their person will be asked to show their monogran 12. 1t you want a policeman call | the operator and 1 want a po [liceman. Toll rates td principal cities |on Page 22. | 13. All income tax returns filed after | March 15 will highly honored | without intergst provided the appli | cant accompanies same with a am davit signed by a newly elected no rv public to the effect that said ccn drinking. I m s ks of the platforin on which 1 will run on if any and our campalgn ¢ t Lardner and if i1l you do wit Asheville, Queen Marie of Rumania Knows Europe; Studies Politics BY FRANK G, CARPENTER, Sinaia, Rumania. “Hurray,” said the kitten. “Hurray As he ‘merrily set hin eails. L am over the orean today To look el the Prince of Wales." But 1 doubt little kitten.' eaid 1. ¢ you withstand the angry gales Ihat you will have the nerse "o face the Prince of Wales. O ho" said the itten, Ol hot He cannot moke me wine If 2 cat ma at o king, A kit en mas ook al 8 prince Otlver Heretord HAVE just returned from the royal castle, the summer palace of the King of Rumania, where 1 have had the honor of funching with their majesties, King Ferdinand | and Queen Marie and of meeting the beautiful young Princess ileana. The |palace is a homelike building of theee or four stories with roofs as sharp as a knife blade, and whited | walls inlaid in patterns, vith panels | of varnished vellow pine. Tt has | sables and spires, and other Ru- manian artistic conceits I 1t ie small for a palace, but it con- | tains many rooms and it would be & fine building in almost any part of the world. It is in the heart of a | wooded park covering hundreds and perhaps thousands of acres, and Is reached by winding drives up the mountain from Sinaia, the summer capital hero in the heart of the Tran- Ivanian Alps. The palace looks as | though it grew out of and were a | part of the hills. The mountains | tower over it, and it climbs up their | gides, The entrance is under a carved porte-cochers and the front doors open into a great hall which leads into a square salon, where windinfl stairs of polished oak make their way {to the stories above. Portraits of i the royal family, and other monarchs hang on the walls. Books of a halt dosen different languages cover the | tables. ana omelike atmosphere | pervades the whole. After chatting awltile W Nerve | to! { i | “Just think how | t week 1 were a very poor | king less than 903 pr. day. at now. Will vou have a slight drink of my gin? T sell + cumparitively cheap with a medical st me fetch out bottle & glasswear & Arthuy sipp suspectfully. - * 1 subtract after had hurt HARO, swallow ndly told me vou cau cure diss n know ther name." here to cure di “Attempting wh when you a he pronounce. to cure disscases @ profession have made for 100000 yrs. And what they got out of 1t? Nothing less. tries to slaughter mikerobes another <ot are dishcovering new ones. Why waste my time & yours? Only old-style and silly-head schoolboys coes to Harvard, Columbia, Jno. H. 1 me, | reasons | shs | mistake which Medical | While one (1) set of docta> i very | Hopkins & McGill Colleges with 1D. | of getting M.D. on their names. How | tch smoother to set at home, no ax- | nerince required, and buy a cheap Dyplomal ¥ou cannot make a Medical utation withovt some book-knowl- v in your skully X an’t 1T “ have such @ reputation Medical Board of 9 States has already mentioned to the police. T are very advanced. .y school but my ewn. 1 only got theory of Doctoring, and that are follows: Pay as you Bnter.” ‘Are it pussible,” 1 dictate, “that any ignoramulous jassack can gét to he a MLD. without knowing more than you told me?" “Phe softest brain can be a Doctor, 1t ho know how. Even you might do now? sourcastly. | that the | i | I do not believe in i G % % " SAYS 4 OoF HALF,'I%E 18 ft'%n QUEE Carpenter Describes Hi Lunch With the Royal Family in the Carpathian Mountains—How This Granddaughter of Queen Victoria Looks, Acts and Talks—A Democratic Monarch Who Writes Fairy Stories—She Might Have Ruled England, Had Her Heart Said Y es—Exporting and Importing Daughters—Something About the King and the Princess Ileana—Graphic Pictures of Royalty Behind the Scenes. court chamberlain, Dr. Misu, who for many years was minister from Ru- mania to the court of St. James, he majesty the queen tripped down the stairs followed by a long-haired blaek epeniel. Dr. Misu introduced me. She gave my hand a cordial shakée afd we chatted awhile befors the king appeared. Her majesty was dréssed in thé Ru- manian costume and she looked strik- ingly hahdsome as We steod thefe 26d talked. Monarchs can nevés con- ceal the date of their birth, as that is @ part of the records in every great almanac or statistical annuai. It is to be found in all encyelopediss, and not seldom in the date lines of the newspapers. Therefore, I know that Queen Marie is just about farty-eight. She does not look it, and shé might pose for many years younger. She has a fair, clear complexion, beautiful blonde hair; and eyes as blue us the sKies of the Carpathian mountains which look down on the palace. Her hands are small and soft, but her grip is firm and she greets her guests with a cotdiality similar to that of Mrs. Cleveland when she reigned in the White House. E o= BT me give you & peén picture of her majesty in hér Rumanian costume from the photograph in my Her queenly head was cov- ered with a long white veil, thrown back from her high and rather broad iforehead and hanging deéwn over her shoulders almost to her knees. This veil was bound on with a fillet of soft green silk about two Inches wide, which came nildway down the.fore- head and was fastened there with a magnificent pearl. Her gown was of white Rumanian linen, embroidered with a sory of filigree work of red #ilk and gold thread. made in the ar- tistic patterns for which the peasants of Transylvania are famous. The sléeves came to the wrist. They were vety full and adorned with embroid- ery In patterns two inches square. About her waist and extending almost to theé bottom of the gown was w rich red overskirt of a velvety silk, so made that one could hardly tell whether it was composed of strings or plaited. The hem of the gown was covered with gold embroidery, and it About her walst was a wide belt with carved silver buckles as big as the palm of my hand, which the queen told me came from Dalmatia. ‘The event was only a luncheen, and her majésty does not dress for such occasions as for her great evening functions. Nevertheless, she wore Jewels worth the ransem of a half @ozen kings. From each of her little ears hung a pearl as big as a hickory nut and as round as a marble, and from her reck a great string of pearls, éach of which I ventare would pay the salary of a justiee of the United States Supreme Couft for sev- eéral years. On her right arm was a tiy platinum wrist watech, fastened on with a ribbon of black silk. Her fingers sparkled with rings, one of which was set with a huge diamond and & pigesn-blood ruby so large that y the two covéfed the finger from the knuckle to the sécond joint. Her majesty's jéwels are famous. Ske has a largé collection, some of which came from heér family in Rus- sia, shd prébably date back to her Eredt-grandfather, the Czar Alexan- aér 1. She very likely has some from hér grandmother, Queen Vietoria. King Ferainand has beésn lavish in his ‘ présénts, and shé has bought pearls and diamonds sines she had come to the throne. She wears her jewels so that they do not look ostentatious, and today they sesmed quite in har- mony with the Suhédy peasant cos- tume of hér Rumanian subjects. Heét majesty is tall and stately, and jshe talks, walks and acts the queen. | Neverthelsss, the woman—and she is & most womanly woman—shines out jin all her actions, and she has the facdlty of putting omé perfectly at Homé. BHe is free in hér eonversa- | tién, and at afd before the luncheon {shé echattéd without reserve about { herseif, the war and the future of ihet eoufitfy. Shé Is a worhafi 6f gréat | breadin 6f intellect. Shie knows the | wortd well, and cédttal Bufope as |yot EABW the palm of yeur hand. iNow shé tallkéd about Rubsid, now |abéut Gefmany and Peland, and again about Albanla, Dilmatia; Bulgaris, GFesté and Sefbli. The last two cofintFies came in ifi connection with b6 Fémarks about her childfén, twd | 62 Whoim are married into the Foyal {fafily 6f Gfeece and one of whem Is the wité of King Alézandér, oceupy- ing with filin the Jugéslavia threneé. 1 féfembef her telling a story about Her Féply to somé ohé who ré- ter¥éd t6 heér ub 4 busifiess quéen. It we#_just at thé time that she had mafFiéd 8fe 6f her daufhters to the crowh pHifice of Greect and the King ot Gféécs haa sedt His daughter to Rumella to mafry Carel, the crowh pritice, her sof: She #al “T object to e tilié of bBusiness queen. I am net in bEsiRess and my Iife is a simple one. Tndeed, the only Jjust touched hér shoes of white kid. | bracelét of dlamonds, snd above it a | business that can be charged against | me just now is that of meddling in | our foreign commerce as to exports and imports. T have been exporting |a daughter to Athens and importing | a Greeian daughter to marry my son.” * % % % (Tm;m; is no doubt, however, but | that her majesty has a shrewd | | business turn. She has a brilllant | ! imagination, and one of her visions |is a great future for Rumania, and she does everything she can to bring that about. She wants to see the country | develop economically, and every for- | eign capitalist who comes to Bucha- rest or Sinaia Is shown the immense resources and possible development lof this country through the rose- colored glasses which her mn}esl)‘v | tints, She may object to the expression, ! but it seems to me that Queen Marie | |is one of the very hest of business monarchs in a broad, patriotic way. | |Bhe would sacrifice herself at any | time for the exploitation of her coun- try, and she proved herself the great mother of her subjects, in that she is always striving after things which will better their condition. The story of her work during the war is a part of Rumanian history. She went out | |to the fleld and worked with the | | wounded. She organized hospitals, land there was no Red Cross nutse | who put in more hours of hard labor. | {At the same time she brought her | g00d common sense and practical suggestions to the aid of the adminis- tration and raised money in every possible way. | Mer majesty has a contempt, T im- agine, for the ruler who is only a figurehead in the government of his | people. She is a live, active force, |and is ambitious to rank with such women as Queen Elizabeth, Maria Theresa and Catherine the Great of Russia as one of the conttolling influ- ences of the reign of which she is a part. In this confeetion and by the way 1 would say that her charming dsughter, the Princens’ lleana, seems to have the same beént. She does not like the idea of being married into a royal family such as that of England, where the queen has no work to do. She iIs now fourteen years old, and there is much talk of her possible engagement to several monarchs of the eountries about. You may have read the gossip about her being much sought after by King Boris of Bul- garia. He is young, full of common sense, of great ability, and the two would make a remarkablé match. But these countries of Burope are very unsettled, and the republic of today may be a monarchy tomorrow. Not long ago there was talk of Poland being ruled by a king, and the future monarch was suggested as a possibil- | ity fof the Princess Ileana. She was asked what she thought of it. She, replie 4 “1 don't Know that I would qpject. Poland is practically a néw country and the queen thers would have Plenty to do. I think I might like it.” This is the stoty as told me by the, queen. And this reminds me of ahother story which I heard in Buchasest, de- | setibing how her majesty Matie, Dby . i | { hér oWn volition; 168t the oppértunity of bélng the Queen of Ergland and Bipress of all the Indies. It was when she was sweet sixtéén—she mist have been very beautiful then— and had only the titis of Prihcess Mary. She 18, ¥6i know, the datgh- ter of the Duke of Bdinburgh, Queéen Victoria’s sécond son, ahd is conse- quiently first cousin of Geofge V, the King of England. She and Geofge were playmates and friends. At this time George was the second son of the | with a eloth of Prince of Wales, but as the first son, | the Duke of Clarence, was living, he | was not the lineal heir to the throne. | It was at the Isle of Wight that| George proposed to the Princess Mary | and Y%rked her to be his wife. She re- fused him, and later on he matfried the present queen. Then, the Duke of Clarence having died, he assumed the British throne. Had Princess Mary accepted she would today be Queen of England. Rumania would have lost one of the most valuable assets of her present governing body * x % = WILL not describe the lunch in detall. Tt was formaily served by | men in the long blue uniforms and | silvér buttons of the palace livery. The room, I judge, was about fifty feet long and twenty feet wide and the | dining tabls ran from one end almost to the other. The table was covered damask. Tt had no flowers except sweet peas of a deli- cate pink, which were strewn over the cloth here and there. The menu consisted of what might be considered a good course dinner in the United States. It began with appetizers of tomatoes and cucumbers and sardines and bird-shot caviar, a teaspoonful of which was served in the hard white of the half of a boiled egg. The black caviar looked pretty against the white background of the ege. After the hors d'oeuvres we had fish from the Danube. roast veal, vegetables served separately, a let- { | “WHILE IN THE SUMMER CAPITAL OF SINAL ONAL COST[AJk RUMANIA WEARS THE NA' SYLVANIA PEASANT WOMEN. tuce salad and a dessert of pink ice, cnding with small cups of Turkish coffee as black as ink, smoking hot, as thick as molasses and almost as sweet There were sixteen at the table, the king and the queen sitting on op- posite sides in the center, with the guests on their right and left. I was second from King Ferdinand, and within six feet of Queen Marie, who was almost directly opposite. Her majesty talked throughout lunch, which lasted for more than an hour, | eating heartily the while At the close a silver alcohol lamp after the style of old Rome and of a beautiful shape was brought in and placed before her. She then took a cigarette and put ome end in her mouth and lit the other from the flame, raising the lamp to the level of her nose as she did so. She smoked vigorously, and it seemed to me that she liked it. She then talked with the cigarette in her mouth, The lamp was passed to the king, who like- wise smoked, after which it went up and down the table, and such as were the worshipers of the god Nicotine puffed the incense of tobaceo at his shrine. There was no stiffness whatever in the comduet of the luncheon. Her majesty’s black spaniel trotted about | under the table, and in picked me out as his friend. some W H | came up and rested his head on my: lap under the cloth, and I surrepti- tiously fed him bits of bread, some ! 'UEEN MARIE OF OF THE TRAN- THE GOWN IS RICHLY EM- BROIDERED IN RED AND GOLD, AND THE HEADDRESS 1S OF GREEN AND WHITE" N\ of which 1 dipped gra ked it under the table, whi majesty chatted * in and e her JER majesty might queen of the fairies is t to the children of Rumania, and the multitude of other children whe delight In the fairy stories she write and some of which appear in the | movies. During the luncheon the question of authorship came up and Queen Marie described the pleasur she had in creative composition. She has written many magazine article and not a few hooks, reminding one of Carmen Sylva, the literary queen whom she has succeeded. Her majesty tells me she delights in writing for children, and especially for those ranging from five to ten vears of age. ~She that their imaginations are much more vivid than those of the grown-ups, and that they appreciate every shade of your thought. Moreover they are ton voung to flatter and they will speat the truth. The queen has writter many stories for children. and upor my telling her that I would like to describe ane of these to the boys and girls of America she gave me a beau | tiful copy of “The Story of Naughty | Kildeen.” which was written by and published in France some years ago. In giving the book she discussed the guestion with the Princess lleana who at that time had come into the room and was presented to us. The princess is as straight as an arrow graceful and very intelligent. She speaks English fluently and has, | doubt not. a half dozen languages on the tip of her tomgue. She was dressed in the peasant costume, her richly embroidered frock falling from her n to her feet, and a bright lk handkercl tied round he | head. Her majesty sent her out t look up a copy Naughty Kildeen and bring it to me T have not said much of his majesty in describing luncheon, for 1 especially hterested in the queer kings do not e into the he says the an unt receptior times came uch majesty tly after the queen, and shook hands with his guests. He was dressed in the uniform of a Tu manian general. wearing an olive dral suit with a Sam Brown belt. He had on tan boots that reached to his knees, and had silver spurs at the heels. His breast was plastered witl decorations King Ferdinand is a man of medium | height, He is straight and well built and looks somewhat like a clubmar of studious bent. He is shy rather than ostentatious. His voice is low and his manner decldedly pleasing. 1 am told he much interested in his people and country. and that he has a considerable say, although the Rumanian government is a constitu tional monarchy in which parliament makes the laws and practically car- ries on the administration (Carpenter’s World Travels. Cop Candy From the Fields? WESTERNER who is interested in the manufacture of breakfas: foods some time ago made the star ! tling announcement that he ecould make at least seventy-five various Kkinds of candy from alfalfa. It | also contended that an excellent grade of sirup can be made from that sub- stance. The man mentioned is o en thuslastic with respect to his: experi ments with alfalfa that he is reported to be planning to establish a mill for the manufacture of alfaifa flour . which, he asserts, will be found to be { superior to all other flours for bak- Hine. | Hitherto, at nis small mills in Mon- | tana, this man has been turning out | a balanced ration for live stock from {alfalfa. Blscuits and a varlety of lpmrm may be made from the flodr It 1s highly probable, in the opinion of experts, that alfalfa may some day revolutionize the conféctionery busi ness. Certainly If alfaifa proves it~ worth as a candy material the acre- age planted vearly will quickly in- crease and prices may be demanded far above those now prevailing. ight, 1924