Evening Star Newspaper, September 11, 1921, Page 58

ther orders in alphabet order ‘and b un at the Zes. ; But theys 1 thing sure makeing them birds give me plenty of driveing lessons and Im getting so pow I can go any wheres without the man telling me nothing and he says I, picked it up quicker than any body fie ever seen and the funny part {s' that Grace 'thinks I will half to. tart takeing lessons after I get the car and she dont know that all ready I can drive as good is any body so when the car gets here I will drive it out home that night and she will that ' Im Allison, ML Jan. 1, EAR BROTHER CHARLEY. Well Charley the New Yrs. Is starting in and 1 feel some how like its going to be a lucky yr. for me and Im going to try and do my best to make it lucky. I bet they wont be no throwing away money this yr. like they was last yr. and by a yr. from now 1 wont have nu moregage hang- ing on my head but will have the house all payed for and every thing clear and a little money in the bank besides. Between you and I Charley theys some money in the bank right now now and believe me thats where she going to stay. I got something over $600.00 salted away and they wont be another payment on the house dew till July and nothing to pay between then and now but regular expenses that a man can pay out of your salary if you dont make a monkey out of yourself. Thats what Im going to do this yr. Charley is live close and not toss my money a round like it was a drunkard sailor. In the Ist. place Im going to cut down on smoking because 1 figgure where I smoke too much and when a man smokes as much as 1 been in the habit you get up in the A. M. feeling like a tramp and cough like you was going to loose a lung. And Im going to try and make my cloths last as long is theyll -hold together and if 1 play cards it will be jest for fun and not a cent a pt. or nothing like that. The $600.00 thats in the bank is what Grace give me to keep for her and she says she was scarred to trust herself with that amt. in her own name or she would be blowing it in for cloths. I never seen the woman yet that could hold on to a chunk of money but they got to throw it to the birds as soon is they get there hands on it. So Grace used good judgment turning it over to me and they couldn’t no body get it away from me with a crow bar unlest its to pay honest debts or some thing. Of course the $600.00 was part of Graces berthday present from her old man and she can do what she please with it but she turning It over to me looks like she had better sence about money than the Ist. few yrs. we was married. Happy New yr. and prosterity to you and_Mary. Your Bro. F. A. GROSS. * x %k % Allison,. TIL Jan. 22. RROTHER CHARLEY. Well Char- ley 1 was wandering how long it would take before Grace begin ich- ing for the little hunk of money she give me to keep for her and its a good thing I got it where she cant touch it or she would be as clean ‘is & whistle in the side of a month. When I come home last night she was all exited and I ast her what FRED A. GROSS, ASSISTANT CHIEF OF DETECTIVES, WHO GAVE UP HIS FLAT IN CHICAGO TO BUILD A HOME:IN THE SUBURBS, ACQUIRES A CAR." ~ * i was the idear and she says she had some thing to tell mé but she was scarréd to tell me so I told her to burry up and get it off of her chest. So what do you think she sprung on me Charley. She says she adl been down on Wabash ave. with Mrs. Dutton and walked passed a pianoi store and seen a piano in the window that was advertised to sell for $110.00 and the reglar price of that kind of a plano was $250.00. But they was selling this 1 cheap because some munt and had it sent out to there want it and sent it back. So G says she wanted to buy it dident want it they was probily lOll’l; body had ordered it and made a pay- house and then decided they dident race Well I says if them other people e e | | i thing the matter with it and m: it was off the key. No she says it was O. K. because Mrs. Dutton set down and tride it. So I says I dont want Mrs. Dutton hanging a round the house all the wile and they aint niether I or vyou or the babys that can play a piano so what good would it be to us. So she says she or the babys could lern on it. Yes I says you got » lot of time to lern a piano and as far is the babys is concerned the 1st. thing 1 want them to learn is sleep hts and get there mouth located at table. Well she says supose they wasent no body to play it it would look good in the liveing rm. All right I says I know where I can get a man down town to paint 1 on the wall for $20.00. So she says she knowed 1 would act that way about it and 1 says Yes and your pretty lucky to have a husband thats got some thing under there hat besides scalp deceases. So she left the rm. without saying nothing and thought 1 would feel sorry for her and chase after her and tell her she could buy her old piano and higher a forner to come out evry night and play it but I wasent going to fall for no sob stuff and when I says 1 would keep her money for her I ment I would keep it and not throw it away on junk we cant aford let alone got no use for it. Well Charley tomorrow Im going up to the Coliseum to the automo- bile show and Id rather lay a round headquarters but I promised Alec Welsh 1d go along with him. Regards_to Mary. Your Bro. F. A. GROSS. * % x * Allison, IIl, Jan. 24. JDEAR CHARLEY. Well Charley I was up to the automobile show yesterday and the shows the prettiest sight I seen in a long wile and when I come home I tride to get Grace to g0 with me some night and see the show but shes still sore yet on acct. of me not leaveing her thréw her money away on a piano. I dident have no idear that you could buy a car as cheap as they got them for sale now and you can get a big size 5 passenger car and not no flivver niether for $550. . It would be pretty soft to drive to town and back every day In your car and not to patternize them suburban trains_where your lucky to find rm. eénough for your ft. to stand on let alone rm.-enough to set down unlest Jou starve your self for a few months st. Alec says it aint no trick at all to Jern to drive and hes got a car that holds 7 passengers and never had no trouble with it and it dont Eost him hardley nothing for gasoline and new tires and etc. and its only the grate big heavy cars that costs money to run them and of coarse I couldent aford 1 of them big boys. I wisht hough that Grace wasent such a old | was all geet. “THE MINUTE THE ENGINK STARTED I SHOT AHEAD AND RUN RIGHT | AT A CROWD OF PEOPLE THAT WAS CROSSING THE STREET.” in the 1st place and practically no keep up. Well Charley it seems like a crime to not take advantage of the price you can get goods cars for now._and wisht I was in a position where I coud blow myself to 1 but I dont believe in & man spending money for what you cant aford and liveing be- hind your means and a mans 1st. duty Is pay your debts. egards to Mary. Your Brother, FRED A. * x kK Allison, 111, Jan. 27. RO. CHARLEY. Well Charley old boy 1 got grate news for you. Im a full fledg motorist now. What do you think of that Charley only of coarse I aint got no car yet but I made a paymunt on it all ready and took a driveing lesson and I could drive O. K. right now only these cars like the kind I bought is such a bargain that every bodys went crazy over them and the co. is behind there orders and cant deliver without you give them a little time. But they prom- lu;fl me mine by the middle of next wk. 1 guess you dont know much about cars Charley but you must of herd of the kind I got. Its a Swift Six and the name tells you how fast it can go but vou wouldent need no name to tell you if you seen it spin up and down Mich. ave. The Six means 6 passengera it will hold but I dont only want rm. for 1 and Grace and the kids because Im not going to take no cheap skate along that cant aford cars of there own. The price of the car is $550 fob Detroit and that means its made up to Detroit and if you buy it there you got to pay for the freight to get it here but I wasent suker enough to go up to Detroit and buy 1 when they had them for sale right in Chi. payed $490.00 down and I don't half to pay the rest till I get the car and I guess I can»rake up $60.00 some wheres and I aint like the man that aint got freinds that will come acrost for them in a pinch. I could of payed for the hole thing at_once only for Grace makeing a holler and I had to ledve. -her have her way this time or she would of whinned a round the house -till we It was yesterday 1 went uyp to the show on acct. of haveing to find a fellow and I figgured thats’ where he would probily be and -I. made- the deal for the car there. and I says I was sure_of takeing ft only 1st. I thought I better ask my wife to come down and look at it to see weather the color sutted her O. K. and etc. So come home and I says Well Grace you cant call me no Sherlock no more and I got a big surprise for you so she says Did you bup-me that piano. So in the stead of me answering I halled a pitcher of the car out of my pocket and show- ed it to her and I says how would you like to ride in that. So she says she would rather ride in a limosene this time of yr. So I Yes but we cant aford no limosene. So she says pitchers of limosenes dont cost no more then any other kind of pitchers unlest there in gold frames. So I says Yes but I got some thing more then a pitcher of this baby. 1 bought the car today. _* At _1st. she thought I was jokeing bt I finely convinced her and she says whose going fo pay for it and I says_the price aint only $550 and we got $600 jn the bank. Yes, she says, but who does the money bellong to. I says You give it to me to keep untill I seen some thi) was worth buying. So then she got sarcastical. So she says No I turned GROSS. “THEN I WENT TO THE HOUSE AND SET ON THE KITCHEN STOVE TILL MY LEGS WAS S0 AS I COULD STAND UP.” the money over to you 8o as we would- ent be worried about it more then & wk. or 2 because it would keep me awake nights thinking about it but if you had it we would be sure to be broke again as soon is you see some thing that cost the hole amt weather it was $600.00 dollars worth of fresh eggs or a set of dimond buttons for your under shirt. So I says This here car aint going to cost the hole $600 but we will still have $50 yet to do what ever we please with it or leave it lay. So she says Yes on $50.00 we can take a trip to Japan China or sa: up the intrest for 10 yrs. and buy evening paper. So. I got disgusted with how she was carring on so I says all right keep morrow and you can take of of the $600.00 and spend. it on the. car. So today she met me down-town and we bought the piano and payed $110.00 cash for it and then I took her out to the Coliseum and ghowed her the Swift Six and of coarse when she seen it she couldent help from likeing it and they couldent no body that seen it and seen what a bargain it is when you ‘consider the price we are getting grand mother about leting loose of a|its got little money on pleasure and I would certainly invest-in 1 of them. light cars that dont cost hardley nothing 1| hold gasoline so you dont half to stop | that we needed and ; be the most surprised woman in the se I should! world. Well Charley I supo ! ought to be thankful that I aint run- ning up no gasoline bills but 1d be willing to put a little bread and but- ter in John Ds mouth if theyd give me some thing. to use gasoline for besides takeing gravey spots out of my heavy overcoat. My kindest to Mary. ‘Your Brother. F. A. GROSS. * x x ¥ Allison, Il March 3. BRO. CHARLEY. Well Charley if you was here tonight I could give you a little ride and I wisht you was here so as I could have a excuse to b go out and ride a little myself but I ~ | dont dare go out alone because Grace would feel bad and I wisht Id called I her up from down town when I know- ed the car was here and then she wouldent of left the girl that stays With the children go over to the dutch church to a dance but I wanted to surprise Grace so she dident know what was comeing off so she left the girl go and now we got to stay in Surself and of course its a pretty cold night to drive down about zero or a Tittle better but I wouldent care how cold It was 1¢ I could jest get a hold of that wheel. H They called me up as soon as I got | back from lunch today and told me my car was In town and ast the chief | |to leave me beat It for the P. M. and i1 got there and was going to take: her right home but when I give them | the $60.00 that I borried off of the! chief to pay the bal. what I owed | they says It would be §20.00 dollars| re. what for and they says to It and the way it is now theys a top | 0T, T ast what for and fhey S0 on it but you can take the top down |io Ay for the [elERl O b6 car on a nice day and 1 man can put it|in Chi and not in no Detroit or no up or put it down and theys a tank to ! ther place. So they says Yes but the cars made in Detroit and when at every garrage and buy some more s man in Chi gets 1 he pays the cushions -on_the both séats and (freight. So I says Yes and stamps Syery (Hing SOk o soant is made in Washington but they cost e I cant hardley walt|3 cts. weather you buy them here or untill the middle of next wk. but to-|there so we argude back and 4th. and morrow Im going to take an other 16s- | they says 1 couldent have the car son driveing and then I will be ready |uniest I payed for the freight and 1| to run her to hellangone as soon is |finely got tired of argueing and ast they got 1 to spare for me. Dont you lthem if theyd leave me take the car wisht you was in my shoes Charley land they.could charge the freight to but never mind and when you e and 17 pay it hext month and Mary get out here next time I will[they says that was O. K. So then ¥ide you till the cows come home. they ast me did T want a extra tire: ELEEOE e 20 1 says yes and they hung 1 on the ) back of the car and the man says F. A. GROSS, motorist, |that would be $16.00 more 8o I says x % * % lbll!)' coud !lkxa it right off lglll"l’ l|l‘: Allison, TIL, February 18 | as aors mea 't Aogcut aaver han was dark and I hadent never handled HARLEY. Well Charley they prom- |a car In the dark before but I cot ised T was to have my car the 3 or | 31018 ETeat but my hands got pretty 4 of Feb. and says they would take near froze. 1 wasent thinking when I got to the care of me 1st. before they filled any other orders and here it is 2 wks. house and I run right passed and I forgot for a min. how to back up so late and not no sine of a car and the Iway it looks like to me there filling | . THE SUNDAY-STAR, WASHINGTON, D, O, SEPTEMBER 11, 192 = The Swift Six BY RING W. LARDNER Ilustrated by Fontaine Fox. was for Grace to come out but she was puting the kids to bed and s0o I finely got out of the .car and went in and it was 7:30 and Grace heard me open the door and she come downstares. Well she says what are you getting home this time of night for. 1 _told her to come out in front and Id show her. So she come to the door and seen the lights on the car and she was so excited she couldent hardly talk and then she says 1 would half to take her for a ride before I ett supper or done any- thing 80 I was going to take her and she happened to think about the girl not being there so she couldents go and she was about ready to cry but told her she should run out and wet in the car a min. 8o she did and she dident set there only 2 min. on acct. of how cqld it was. But she was tickled to death when ud in ides 2 ro is_to cold for rain or_snow either 1 80’ every thing s | safe for o nite. ~Well y 1 must get up early in the A. M. and take the family ride- ing and 1 wisht you was here to g0 with us. O you Swift Six. Regards 'to Mary. Your B sif FRED GROSS. * % % % Allison. Ill. March 5. DEAR CHARLEY. Well Charley the cars down to the town garrage zere in Allison and Grace ain’t had 2 ride in it yet and the man says it will be O. K. tomorrow A. M. There fixing up the batery now so as the self starter will work and I would “I'M MAKING THEM BIRDS GIVE ME PDEH*I‘ OF DRIVING LESSONS.” she seen we realy had our car and she couldent hardley beleive I know- ed how to run it and she says I must lay off tomorrow and I and her and the babys and all of us would have a ride 1st. thing in the A. M. So Im going to glve them a ride 1st. before I go down town to the office. While we was eating supper Grace ast me where was I going to keep the 'car. Well Charley thats the 1st. time 1 thought about that and of coarse a man coulent leave it out all night in a blizzard or rain storm or the seats would get spoiled. So it looks like I would balf to build me a garrage and maybe spend another $150.00 on that but they aint no hurry about it because I can leave her standout on clear nights for a wile and if it look like its going to storm I can take it down to the town garrage. Grace says it might may be rain or snow tonight and spoil of took it in to town and made the Swift peéople fix it free for nothing only I called them up and told them about it and they says they was so busy they couldent do it this wk. The batery died on me when I was trying to start her yesterday A. M. and I-made a mistake leaveing her out the doors in cold weather llke it was but how did I know what would happen. I guess they think a man should ought to know all about a car }1 he seen: 1 before or dident see 1 be- fore. 23 ‘Well Charley the night I left her stand out all night the engine froze up and It took the garrage man pretty near 2 hrs. to get her runing again. You see when I 1st. went out there in_the A. M. and tride to work the self starting peddle it dident do noth- ing 80,1 was afrade I wasent press- ing hard emough so I give her all the weight I got and nothing doing house and then I tuted the horn and the neats but I looked at the sky and | and finely they wasent even no more MIRRORS OF DOWNING STREET SOME POLITICAL REFLECTIONS I run a round the blk. and the 2d. time~T stopped O. K. in front of the BY “A GENTLEMAN WITH A DUSTER.” 5 Lord Northcliffe Lord Northeliffe. first viscount (Al- fred Charles Wiillam Harmsworth). Education: In George Newnes; LL. D., 3 University, United States of America. rietor of the London , Daily Mail and & number of other journals. Viscount, 1917. Cliairmau of ihe Brit: ish_war mission to the 1917." Dirtetor of -] enemy cosntries; 1918.° - GREAT surgeon "tells me he has no doubt; that Carlyle suf-| _fered all His.life from a duo-| denal ulcer. “One may specu-; b | 1ate.” he says, “on the difference there would have been in his writings if he had undergone the operation which today is quite commo! This remark occurs to me when I think about Lord Northeliffe. There is something wrong with his health. For a reason he is almost boy- ish in high spirits, not only & charm- ing and considerate host, but a spirit animated by the kindllest, broadest and cheerfulest sympathies. Then comes a period of darkness. He seems to Imagine that he may go blind, declares that he cannot eat this and that, shuts himself up from his friends, and feels the button of the world pressing on his soul. It is impossible to judge him as one would judge a perfectly healthy man. The most conspicuous thing in his character Is its transilience. One is aware in him of an anacoluthic qu: ity as it his mind suddenly stopped lcaping In one direction to begin jumping in a quite contrary direction. Tt cannot be said that his mind worki in any direction. It is not a trained mind. It does not know how to think and cannot support the burden of try- ing to think. It springs at ideas and goes off with them in haste too great for reflection. He drops those ideas when he sees an excuse for another leap. ,Sequence to Lord. Northcliffe is a synonym for monotony. He has no esprit de suité. But he has leaps of real genius. An admirable title for his blography would be, “The Fit: and Starts of a Discontinuous Soul"” There is something of St. Vitus in his psychology. 'You might call him the Spring-Heeled Jack of Journalism. be patiently and orderly educated to. ward noble ideals, but rather a herd to be stampeded of a sudden in the direction which he himself has as suddenly conceived to be the direction of success. * k %k % THE true measure of his shortcomings may be taken by seeing how a man exercising such enormous power, power repeited day by day, and al- most every hour of the day, might have prepared the way for disarma- ment and peace, might have made os- tentation look like a crime, might have brought capital and labor into a sensible partnership, and might have given to ‘the moral ideals of the noblest sons of men if not an intel- lectual impulse at least a convincing advertisement. All the same, it is the greatest mis- take for his enemies to declare that he is nothing better than a cynical egoist trading on the enormous ig- norance of the English middle-classes. LORD NORTHCLIFFE. * % X% A STORY told of one of his journal- i3ts fllustrates the difficulty of deal- ing with so uncertain a person.” Lord Northdliffe invited this journalist—let us call him Mr. H—to luncheon. They lapproached the lift of Carmelite House, and Lord Northcliffe drew back to let his guest enter before him—he has excellent manners, and, when he is a host, is scrupulously po- lite to the least of people in his em- ployment. Mr. H. approached the iift, and, raising his hat and making a profound bow to the boy in charge of it, passed in before Lord North- cliffe. Nothing was said during the descent. On leaving the lift Mr. H. again raised his hat and bowed low to the boy. When they were out of earshot Lord Northcliffe remonstrated with him on his behavior. “You R iy el oys; it makes pline cul that it catch h i T “Joke!" exclaimed e rwoca] apCAtycachanigtelattontign ot Al * kK ok X g heavens, I wasn't ]oklhnl fl?w T’bl te W no! know_that tomorro e W e I : ey e - ness in Lord Northcliffe, but I the editor of the Daily Mail? Rave never fgiled to feel in his mind has a real importance. remarkable char- Northcliffe’s va- It emphasizes the romantic|something unusual and. remarkable. his mind. Nothing Would | He not:an impressive person, but I ore e e Coattor for | e is certainly an interesting person. His own life has given]Ons feels.that he has by some for magic of temperament, not to be an- here: lalyxea by most _skillful of pey- chologists, the spirit of boyhood. You 5 | may notice -this spirit quite visibly in his face. - The years leave few marks on his handsome .tountenance. He loves'to. frown . and depress his camera,_for, like a-child, often asked . to believe. Kennedy Jones. is largely. responsible for the Journalistic fortunes of Lord North- cliffe. 1 am disposed to think that it is the romantic quality of his mind jwhich is the source of his power. 1All the men about him are unim: aginative realists. He is the artis in command of the commercial mind, the poet flogging ~dull words into kind of wild music. Kennedy Jones could have started any of his papers, but he could never have imparted to Ithem that living spirit of the un- expected which has Kkept them so effectually from dullness. Carmelite House could give the news of the world without Lord Northcliffe's help, but without his passion for the twists and turns of the fairy story it could never have presen t news so pettq conventlt iety. The dull ‘life of the world is hateful to him. He would make not only the journalism of the suburbs sensation- al, he would make the history of man- ind a fairy story. - It is difficult to understand his in the world. He is not the o; suppose 058 Rothermere, -is- walking in & 3= A ‘dressed, ip white flapnels, and s oie- 18 80 T R ha0 Jac Come.1rom he | sensation. a Turkish bath, he has all the appear- ance of youth. It is a tragedy that a smile 80 agreeable should give way { at times to a frown as black as mid- night; that the freshness of his com- plexion should yield to an almost Jaundiced yellow, and that the fun and frolic of the spirit should flee away_ so suddenly and for such long perfods before the witch of melan- choly. N Of his part in the history of the world no _historian will be able to speak with unqualified approval. His political purpose from beginning to end, I am entirely convinced, has been to what he conceives to be the highest interests of his country. I rogard him in the matter of intention as_one of the most honorable and courageous men of the day. But he is reckless in the means he employs to achieve his ends. I should say he has no moral scruples in a fight, none at all; I doubt very much if he asks himself if anything is right or wrong. 1 should say that he has only one Qquestion to a:’c of fate before he strips for a fight—is this thing going tol be success a{mullm;e?m 3 n - many matters of fmpor- tance he has been right, so right that we are apt to forget the number of times he has been wrong. Whether ‘he may not be charged in some m; ure at least with the gulilt of the waf, ‘whether he is not responsible for the great bitterness of international feelings which characterized Europe during the last twenty years, is a question that must be left to the historl: is already \apparent that for warnt of balance and a moral contin- uity in his direction of policy Lord Northcliffe has done nothing to’ele- vate the public mind and much to de- from sensation to has pleased hi o '"tn: ‘object of the fight has |nmnm He#.n, mever, seen in the it 3 greal blic opinign a spirit t> body ! the He is a bey, full of adventure, full of romance, and full of whims, seeing life as the finest fairy tale in the world, and enjoying every incident that comes his way, whether it be the bitterest and most cruel of fights or the opportunity of doing some one a romantic kindness. You may see the boyishness of his nature in the devotion with which he threw himself first into bicycling, then into motoring, and then into fly- ing. He loves machinery. He loves every game which involves physical risk and makes severe demands on courage. His love of England is not his love of her merchants and work- men, but his love of her masculine youth. He has been generosity itself to his brothers, with all of whom he does not, unfortunately, get on as well as one could wish. The most beautiful thing in his life is the love he cher- ishes for his mother, and nothing de- lights him so much as taking away her breath by an act of astonishing devotion. A man so generous and so boyish may make grave mistakes, but he cannot be a deliberately bad man. (Copyright, 1921, by G. P. Putnam's Soms. All rights reserved.) : Strange Moon Rays. PUISEUX, the distinguished selenog- rapher of the Paris observatory, some time ago reached the conclusion that the curious rays or bands ex- tending in straight lines away from many lumar craters, such as the cele- brated tycho, are produced by the deposition of volcanic ashes carried to great distances by the winds that happened to prevaii when the erup- tion occurred. He accounts for the_relative nar- rowness of these bands, which are never more than thirty miles broad, although their length is sometimes many hundred miles, by supposing that only the central axis of the de- Pposit has remained, the less dense bor- ders having been destroyed by the jaenuding forces of the air when the moon had a considerable atmosphere. Chinese Fossil Teeth. AN European investigator has made a singular collection of fossil teeth from drug stores in various parts of China, where they are sold under the name of dragons’ teeth and are valued for their supposed curative [ powers. o Upon examining them it was found by this/investigator that they are the remains of many specles of extinct animals, such as the ancestral forms of camels, saber-toothed tigers, three- toed horses and other <Creatures of anclent times, some of which, like the ancestral forms of camels and ante- lopes, were supposed to have had ks they must exist in onorf:oni numbers in some parts of China. Tides in the Stars. ISOIE time ago it was reported by a * aistinguished astronomer that the star called Xi Geminorum, which has long been known as a variable, is in reality double; but its two components are 80 cloge that no telescope: is able to separate them, and thelr existence i8 proved by the shifting lines in the spectrum. The variations in bright- ness, it is thought, can only be due to the attraction Between the two stars L nill:. immense' tides in their molten h e s ik, ot wise, displace the spectral lines. | pressed and the | \ 1 . noise when I I pressed on the peddle and | It felt like June pressed for a % hr. and | ha: fie of a cloud then I went. in the house and set on| I called up Grace before 1 got the kitchen stove till my legs was &0 [there and told her to fix it so as_her as I could stand up and then I called{and the kids could g« when I come up the chief and ast him to leave me|for them and I got out there about stay home and he says nothing doing |4 a clock and then by that time they I would half to come down so then|was a few cléuds in the sky and I 1 called up the garrage and they sent |=ays some thing about may be we there man over and he seen that the |better postpone the trip. But Grace says Not much you dom’t do no more postponeing. 8o they come out and. t In and I set alone in front and race and the kids behind and away I'e“'“;len(&hlfl was jest ell Charley we turning in to Ogden ave. tords town when I felt a rain drop and I hadent went more than 3 blks. after I felt the 1st splash when she begin to beat it down a mile a minute. Well I stopped the car and jumped out and tride to get the top up and I couldc g& Some of the straps and levvers that was holding it down. Sc I giv. up trying to fix the top and looked 10 both 8ides of the st. and it was rain ing 80 hard 1 couldent see nothins Lut finely 1 grabbed the kids an tords 1 side of the st. and G thing was froze up and I stayed there and helped him as long is I could-and en I had to go and now there charge ing the baterys up because it seems like 1 done wrong standing on the peddle 50 hard and besides they aint nothing a garrage can do as good as it can charge. 3 And today wile 1 was down town Grace called up from home and sayi I would have to buy a couple robes to help keep the kids warm in the car and I ast her what was the mat- ter with useing blankets off of the bed and she says all right go ahead and use them but I wont ride with you. So it cost me $11.00 for the 2 Cheapest blankets I could get a hold of and the next thing is build a gar- rage because the garrage man says the car will freeze up every night I leave it out the doors and if you keep your car in the town garrage its $10.00 per mo. If it dont cost nothing for the keep up of this car Charley Im glad I dident get one of them big baby. Kindest to Mary and yourself. Your Bro. F. A. GROSS. kK * . Allison, 111, March 9. DEAR Charley: Give me what this here Swift Six has cost me all ready Charley and 1 will sell it to you fob Chicago and no questions ast. Im staying home this A. M. and Grace called the chief up and told him I was sick and when she told him that she wasent springing no auto- mobile story but she was telling him the truth. After the garrage had a hold of the car fixing it for pretty near a wk. and promising every day that I could have it tomorrow they finely give it to me yesterday and give me a bill for $7.50. So 1 says I would settle the 1 of next month and I got in and drove her out to see how she run a minute and it was such a nice ‘day that I says why shouldent } drive down town and so 1 started and got along fine and of coarse 1 was a lit- tle shakey going in the loop the 1st. time but I was O. K. till I got to 5th ave. and Washington st. and then 1 of the traffic men hollered at me. 1t was Jerry Donghue. So I says Hello Jerry and kept on going but he hol- lered for me to stop &nd when I stopped I was right in the middle of the car tracks. So he come up to the side of the car and then he sees who I was and I says whats the mat- ter with you stopping old pal and he says I dident know vou at 1st. but I jest noticed you was driveing without no license. Well Charley that was the 1st time I thought about a lisence. So I told Jerry Id forgot about it, and he says You better get 1 or all the boys will be stopping you 50 he says your blocking up the traffic S0 beat®it. So then I found out all of a sudden that my engine wasent runing and it had died on me and I stuck my ft. on the starter peddle and Id forgot to stick the gear in neutruls and the min. the engine started I shot ahead and run right at a crowd of people that was cross- ing the st. Well I felt for my horn and it dident make no sound and 1 thought it was good night but Jerry seen what was going to happen and yelled to the people to duck so I jest missed them and by the time I got to LaSalle st. I had her under controls. Well Charley I finely managed to get to headquarters and all the boys come out and overlooked the car and 1 offered to give them a ride but it seems like Jerry the big fool had called them up and told them what happened over to 5th ave. and they all prétended like they was scarred to_ride with me. Well Charley wile I was up in the office 1 of them dirty bums out of spite work for me calling them a cheap skate come down and let the wind out of 1 of the back end tires and I dident never know it till I was clear out here and run the car in to the garrage. You ought to seen the rim on the wheel Charley and the hole wheels pretty near a wreck and the man says they isent only 1 thiug to do and thats get a hole new wheel and a new tire because the tires cut all to peaces. Hows that for a fine trick Charley. The man at the garrage says he diden't see how I could drive all the’ way out heré and not know they was Eome thing wrong and wile he was talking the car begin to smoke and flames begin shooting out the front part and I thought for a minute the hole place was going to explode but the man had the fire out all most as soon as it started. So I says I got a fine bunch of friends that leave me come home on flat tire and then try to burn me up. So the man says your friends may of give you the flat tire : But the reason you was going to burn |Bow und I picked it up myself with- up was on acct, of they not being no|cut nobody showing me nothing and water to keep the engine cool. So Il got so now I can sing a couple says did they leave the water out to. Songs and company myself with cords So he says when did you put some in[and of coarse 1 cant play the hard and I told him I hadent never put none |cords vet. in. So then he laughed till I thought{ Theys a hole lot of things Charley he was going to choke and I wisht he | ti:at makes a piano betler than an au- had. This A. M. I been pouring water | tomobile and 1 thing is that you can in my radiater all A. M. but I cant get |leave all the keys on the piano and the old engine to cool off. €0 in a lunch room and they wont want to on the peddle with out un- Allison, Tll. March 18. Charley, | glf to by new tires for it and ycu about all I been doing is bOIring|dont half to pour water in them all line or they dont get stalled in the garrage to keep them in because Kindest to both you an m right into a lunch room. So. they was a couple setting in there the props we an other and Letween them and ard Grace we got fome of the kids soked things off and the props wifs Gug up a couple Llanke's sonu wheres and rapped the kids up an. then Grace begin howling about how near drownded she was and 1 thought I'd be better off in the storm then listening to she howling 1 blowed out again and the rain had let up a little but jest enought so I_could see acrost wommn f wasent no a round mo Wagons or no st. cars or nothing. Well Charley v ing to do but brake the Grace and she got hystericks and_the kids was pretty near as bad. Well 2ny way Charley when it stopped raining and the kids cloths wasent so wet 10 more we went home on the st. car and dident only half to trans- fer twice. Its Heen over 24 hre. sence the car was stole and not a word about it from no wheres and they tell me theys 0 many Swift Six been sold in Chi that it aint nothing but luck when you identify witeh is yourn. So Grace is upstairs giveing the kids some hot baths and I been set- ting in the pianos rm. figgureing out now much that there car cost all to- gether and 1 got it figured where it stands me $849.00 and that includs the garrage I'm building and the storage and the repairs and gasoline and lisence and robes and etc. A investment that was hay Charley and I guess Grace will know cnough next time to tyy and sav her monev and not go splurgcing on vianos and cars and stuff that they cant nobody aford unlest there mil- 1jonares. Kindest to both of you. Your Bro. F. A. GROSS. *x % % Allison, TIL, May 22. RO. CHARLEY. Jest 2 line Char- ley to leave you know wear get- ting a long O. K. and not starveing to death. Theys an other interest day on our mortgage comeing the 1st. of July and how wear going to meet it I cont know but we will meet it some way because we cant aford to loosc our propetty mow because its rore valuable then ever on acct. of there being nice garrage in the back yard Well Charley 1 bet youll be su- prised to hear that Jm a plano player “THE CAR WASN'T ANYWHERES.” our Bro. rage that I ordered built is going fo cost pretty near $200.00 dollars but I couldent get 1 for no less and the Swift peoples going to soak me for a new wheel and 2 new tire and the garrage says I owe them $30.00 and it would be some satisfaction if I could fine out who donme that dirty trick about leaving the wind out of the tire and 1 would brake them in 2 but the boys down to headquarters Jest laughs like it was a good joke and wont squeal on who ever done it. An glhel{. thing Iflhl‘td to s:ly for was the jence an: s costing me $3.00 for a lisence to own a car that France the result of a curious in- I aint hardley seen let alone get any | vestigation concerning the “preferred pleasure_out of numpbers® of the inhabitants of differ- . car tomorrow. Grace aint had no|vestigation is & study of the various ride in yet S0 any way the cars ready tomorrow I will go and get it denominations of money, postage and give Grace and the kids a rideStamps and other measures. lliefore Sotme m:ns else hl::pe’n- h‘\:t It appears that nearly all races guess its pretty near time for the luck to e the other way show a marked .?l:fer:ncen‘h:n the Charley. Thats what I told a fellow j numbers “two,” “three” ai e their multiples. But the Moham: today that come in and tride to sell me Some insurence. What Kind of { medans avold the number “three. {Neither in Turkey mor in Persia. Regards to Mary. nobody steal the piano and iou can FRED GROSS. |put your ft. dewn as hard is you * ¥ ¥ % chargeing no baterys and ycu a half t» buy no license for it and dont RO. CHARLEY: Well, can leave it any wheres all night and sence the last letter I wrote you | {? T e oy Bt B WL et pwa money and paying it out and the gar- |the wile to keep them from catching on fire and they dont take no gaso- ‘mmu of & st. car track. And you dont half to build no new theys plenty of rm. for them right in the house. a Mary. Yoyr. Bro. F. A. GROSS. Numbers That People Prefer. HERE has been announced in insurence I ast him. He says auto- mobile insurence. No I says my cars cost me enough all ready with out|3PPears, |n costing me mo more. So he saye flum;’:r, ts libel to cost you a hole lot{E8Yl more before you threw if you dont| Among, the French and other Latin have no Insurence. He says its libel | peoples “two” and “five” are more to burn up or fun in to some body|Popular than “three, while the Eng- and kill them or some bodys libel to|lish prefer “two” and three and the help themself to it when its laying “‘three” and “five.” in the st. Yes I says theyd be libel The Chinese resemble the Latin to steal a car that bellonged to 1 of | race in their choice, wiile the people the detective bureau. So he says No|of India have a strong liking probily not because it would be like|“two.” The number “seven™ is most stealing pennys from a blind man.{used in Russia and other Slavic coun- But anyway he says the fire insur-|tries. The higher numbers are not ence and libilty insurence would cost|much used ‘except in Spanish cou: $40.00 dollars per annum and $40.00 | tries, as “eleven” in Salvador, “seven- dollar bills is jest as plenty a round |teen” in Mexico, “nineteen™ in Spain, me these days is whiskers on a flute. |2nd “thirty-one” in Guatemala. The Well Charley give our kindest to |Peopl it does one find a trace of this and it is scarcely found in e of Hawall are said to be quite Mary and I hope lucks been better(fond of “thirteen.” with you then l T our Bro. . ROSS. ok x % Salmon With White Flesh Allison T March 23 |7J'HE larsest, best-known and most ROTHER CHARLEY. Well Charle; valuable salmon is the Chinook, B Tielor, v rom. Vent: in California 1 wolt write you no more Jetters|oUnd from. Ventura bay to Morton sound in Alaska, and on the about my car Charley because I got Py =2 1o car and who evers got it can keep |the Arctic. In the epring the body it And Im tickled to death thatof this fish is siiver. and on the back they dident get it till Grace and the|3nd on the il are Kids had 1 ride and they dident only | A"k i the colof of the feh turns ride about 4 or § fulles but long|to dark red. The average weight of road s about twenty-two pounds. :::“:,:t:,:;, ot In their own | (oot O duals welghing one hundred pounds are sometimes taken. In some ‘Well Charley I will tell you what|waters the flesh of ‘the ‘Chinook come _(.Ifl. In !& first place the car ttl-l‘nh(:.:llmn red,” but ln:‘%tzl- asen’ day Swift peo- | east pie uy'- it would hn:d:. u‘-'_tunm Columbia a’large percentage of them, ely ready yeste: and I went out | estimated at one-thi; have white t;;:-“ufly&lt::n“ potndntn. ::-n. 'n-ll:h u-.sm it was the, . of. ana | explanation of this the finest day I €ver seen for has been given. - ~