Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, December 17, 1909, Page 10

L Mere each sny Chrisfmas Long Ago By FRANK H. SWEET. {Copyright, 1909, by American Press Asso- clation.] GOOD old fashioned Chris’mas with the logs upon the hearth, The table filled with feasters an’ the room a-roar with mirth, ‘With the stockin’s crammed to bust- in’ an’ the medders piled wita SnoOw— A good old fashioned Chris’mas like we had so long ago! Now that’s the thing I'd like to see ag’in afore I die, But Chrig’mas in the city here—it’s different, oh, my! ‘With the crowded hustle-bustle of the slushy, noisy street An’ the scowl upon the faces of the strangers that you meet. Oh, there’s buyin’, plenty of it, of a lot of gorgeous toys. An’ it takes 8 mint of money to please modern girls an’ boys. Why, I mind the time a jackknife an’ a toffy lump for me . Made my little heart an’ stockin’ just chock full of Chris’mas glee. An’ there’s feastin’, Think o’ feedin’ with these stuck up city folk! ‘Why, you have to speak in whispers, an’ you dar’sn’t crack a joke. Then remember how the tables look- ed all crowded with your kin, ‘When you couldn’t hear a whistle blow across the merry din. ‘You see, I'm so old fashioned-like I don’t care much for style, Arn’ to eat your Chris’mas banquets here I wouldn’t go & mile. T'd rather have, like Solomonm, a good yarb dinner set ‘With real old friends than turtle soup with all the nobs you'd get. There’s my next door neighbor, Gur- ley—fancy how his brows 'u'd 1ift If I'd holler: “Merry Chris'mas! Caught, old fellow! Chris’mas gift!” Xordy sakes, I'd like to try it! Guess he’d nearly have a fit. Hang this city stiffness, anyways! I can’t get used to it. Then your heart it keeps a-swellin’ till it nearly busts your side, An’ by night your jaws are achir’ with your smile four inches wide, An’ your enemy, the worst one, youw'd just grab his hand an’say: #Mebbe both of us was wrong, Johr. Come, let’s shake. It's Chris’mas day.” [lfighty little Chris’mas spirit seems to dwell 'tween city walls, ‘{hr}ngs & soot- flake for a brother as it falls< |~ |Mighty little Chris'mas spirit, en’ I’'m pinin’, don’t you know, |For a good old fashioned Chrig'mas like we had so long ago. Some Famous Sallies. Great men have been guilty of pun- ning, and some of the most famous of these sallies have come down in his- tory. There is something melancholy about the pun of Dr. Thomas Browne, who, having unsuccessfully courted a lady and being challenged to drink to her health, as had been his wont, re- plied, “I have toasted her many years, but I cannot make her Browne, so I will toast her no longer.” Sydney Smith’s jest at the expense of Mrs. Grote had the salt of malice in it. She was famed for ill. taste §n dress, and as one day she swept by in an extraordinary headdress Smith pointed her out to a friend, saying, “That is the origin of the word ‘gro- tesque.’” Mrs. Grote, however, had her re- venge. Sydney Smith’s daughter mar- ried a Dr. Holland. When the latter was knighted some one mentioned his wife as Lady Holland. “Do you mean Lord Holland’s wife?” asked the lis- tener. “No,” replied Mrs. Grote. “This new Holland, whose capital is Sydney.” ‘Whén the barrister Campbell mar- ried Miss Scarlett his friend explained his absence from. court by telling the Judge that Gampbell was suffering from a bad attack of Scarlett fever. Ancient Chains. “Some authorities,” says an English writer, “gire the Britons credit for originating the . cable chain because Julius. Caesar iy recorded as having been unable to cut the cables of the Gaul’s vessels, ‘as they were made of iron.’ This may have been a chain in the present acceptation of the term, but it is doubtful, because the first pat- ent for chainmaking was obtained in England in 1634 by a blacksmith named Philip White. The patent was for fourteen years, and in considera- tion of it White had to pay £5 in law- ful money yearly ‘at the exchequer, ‘Westminster, att the Feast of the Blessed Virgyn and Saint Michell the Archangell by even and eual process.” “His patent is described as follows: ‘A way for the wearing of shipps with iron chaynes by finding out the true heating (pre)pareing and-tempering of Iyron for that (pur)pose and that he hath nowe attayned to the true vse of the sald chaynes and that the same wilbe for the great saveing of cordage and safety of shippers and will re- dound to good of our Comon Wealth.’” Bread That Intoxicates. In far eastern Russia, in that region which lies between the sea and the river called Mssuri, the humidity of the climate as well as of the soil Is re- markable. Vegetation is here distin- guished for its wondrous exuberance, to such an extent that the soil never dries up. The result is that the inhab- itants in order to prevent putrefaction of the roots sow their corn upon a se- ries of layers of the soil. Nevertheless in certain districts the humidity is so intense that there grows upon the ears of corn a kind of fungous matter made up of micro fungl. As a result of this sporadic excrescence the bread made from the corn in question gives all the results of an overdose of alcohol. In very humid climates the phenomenon is likewise known, though to nothing like the extent of eastern Siberia, where whole districts are affected by this strange kind of “alcoholized bread.” Shakespeare’s Name. It has often been a puzzle to students of Shakespeare why his name is spelled | in so many different ways. Shake- speare himself is said to have signed his name on different occasions *“Shak- speare” and “Shakespere,” and learned disquisitions have been written to prove which is the proper spelling. None perhaps was more amusing than the ‘““weather” reason given in 1851 by Albert Smith, who averred that he had found it in the Harlelan manuseript. || It was as follows: How dyd Shakspeare. spell hys name? Yo weatherre mayde ye change, we saye, So write it as ye please; ‘When ye sorine shone he mayde hys A; ‘When wette he took hys E’es. Installments All Around. Patient (gloomily)—I don’t seem to be gaining very fast, doctor. Doctor (cheerfully)—You can’t expect to get well at one jump. You will have to regain your health gradually day by day—sort of on the installment plan, as 1t were, Patient (brightening up)—Well, doc- tor, if this thing keeps on much longer I'm afraid that you will have to collect your bill in the same way.—Judge’s Library. Why They Objected. “No,” said the fireman, who repre- sented the truck company that had re- fused to work with a colored truck- man, “there is no race prejudice in it. But we certainly hate to work with a man whose face will look just as clean on the way home from a long fire fight as it did when we started, while we| other chaps all look smudgy.”—Judge’s Library. Not a New Species. “Now, what shall we name the baby?” inquired the professor’s wife. “Why, this species has been named,” answered the professor in astonish- ment. “This is a primate mammai homo sapiens.”—St. Paul Pioneer Press. Unsolved Problems. The three great problems on the solu- tion of which humanity is bent aré the same thdt perplexed our ancestors—the immortality of the soul, perpetual mo- tion and women’s hats.—Paris Figaro. ey The Real’ Work. Client—How is my case coming on! Surely you’ve had time to look up the law? Attorney—Oh, that was easy. I’'ve been putting in my time studying| the technicalities.—San Francisco Call, P Her mother sald: “Oh, dear! Isn’t that awful?. What will people think?” but the people themselves seemed: to think it-about ‘the prettiest incident they bad met that day. She was a very little girl, white frocked, pink rlbboned. brown curled. With her mother she left the subway train at the Grand Central station. The | usual confusion prevailed. Timid trav- elers grabbed suit cases and bundles | and exclaimed, “Oh, do we change here?” Trainmen on the. platform shouted out directions for local and express trains and the guards of that particular car adjured the passengers frequently and vehemently to “Step lively!” and to “Watch the step.” Then all of a sudden there was a lull in the uproar. The little girl was leaving the car. She stopped at the door, look- ed back and waved her hand. “Goodby, everybody,” she said. The words carried to the far end of the car. They made every one sit up Two or three persons called out a. re- sponsive “Goodby,” two or three said “Bless the child,” and all smiled.—New York Press. The Sea Serpent: ‘When fourteen.miles, off the coast of Brazil M. J. Nicoll, author of “Three Voyages of a Naturalist,” observed & sea serpent which came within about flvfg_ygrdg of the ship. _“All that we could Bee was @ dorsal fin about four feet long sticking up about two feet from the water.. The fin was a brown- ish black color and much resembled a gigantic piece of ribbon seaweed. Be- low-the water we could indirectly see a very large brownish black patch, but could not make out the shape of the creature. Every now and then the fin disappeared below the water. Sud- denly an eel-like neck, about six feet long and of the thickness of a man's thigh, having a head shaped like that of a turtle, appeared in front of the fin, lashing up the water with a curious wriggling movement. This creature was an example, I consider, of what has been so often reported, for want of a better name, as the ‘great sea serpent.’ I feel sure, however, that it ‘was not a reptile that we saw, but a mammal.” Her Luck. By a strange coincidence a muect married woman lost three husbands 1o successton through fatal accidents.in the mine. Naturally her case exciteé much interest, and she had many sym- pathetic. callers. to all of whom she¢ made the same reply. “Ah; yes, It’s_very hard” she sald “but. in the midst of my sorrow I['v¢ always had somethin’ to be thankfu' for. None o' wny husbands lived long after ['d insured ‘em, as 'some pool souls’ husbands do!”—London Graphic v A Dream Superstition. I heard what was to me at least a new plece of superstition the other day, and when I think of the risks I’ve run all these years because I didn’t know of it my blood runs cold. I met a wo- man from Virginia in market, and the talk falling on dreams I recalled a most blood curdling nightmare I had had the night before. #“I must tell you what I dreamed last night,” I said. “Let me ask first whether it’s a pleas- ant or an unpleasant dream?” said the lady from Virginia. “Decidedly unpleasant.” “Then for mercy’s sake don’t tell it!” said she. “Never tell a bad dream on Saturday, for we say in Virginia: “Friday night's dream on Saturday told 1Is sure to come true, no matter how old.” —Washington Post. Australian Cadets, Al children in Australia are drilled, but the elder boys are attached to the Australian - military forces by means of the cadet corps.. Almost every large school has its band of cadets, who wear ‘neat khaki uwforms and are armed with light rifies,.in the use of which they are frequently instructed. Hvery year those boys have shooting matches, and the scores prove that among the youngsters there are many who have .alreadw become skilled marksmen.—London Standard. - BArK §8 A HEALTHY GROW; ING INSTITUTION— THAT MEANS WE ARE bsLe 70 PaY THE MAXIMUM INTEREST ON DEPOSITS AND Fl’! THE UTMOST S4FETY TO DEPOSIT- ORS. WE soLicIT 3MALL ACCOUNTS- BWAPE TOU 8TARTED ®IiTH U8 YE7T2 THE LUMBERMENS NATIONAL BANK ~ BEMIDJI_MINN. - ling Silver ferrules, We Wan Stag Handled Sterling Silver ferrules, 3-piece Carving Set $5.00 to $7.00. 3=piece Carving Sets $7.00 to7.50. Help you Choose Just the thing for a Christmas Present for that Friend of yours--whether old or young, As our line is good and has articles for all ages. few of the articles we have to offer Christmas Buyers. Below is a list of a Ivory Antique Handled Ster= Stag Handle 3-piece Carving Set $3.50 to $5. A Full Line of Commonity Silverware, the Best that is made, and is Guaranteed for 25 years, at prices as listed below: Set in a Jiined Box... Hollow Handled Knives and Forks, One Pie Forks in Lined Box...... Salad Forks, one in Lined Box Tea Spoons, Set in Lined Box ..... Bouillon Spoons, Set in Lined Box. - $10.00 ............... 1.25 Each 2.50 Set 3.25 Set Hollow Handled Fruit Knives, Set in a Lined Box Berry Spoons, One in Lined Box Salad Spoons, One in Lined Box. Coffee Spoons, Set in Lined Box..... Desert Spoons......... One $6.25 $2.00 Each 1.50 Each 2.25 Set 3.76 Set Prices. $2.00. 316 an. Ave. These are but a few of our Christmas Specialties. Our Line of Skates is complete at prices from 75¢ to $3.00 a pair. pleasure of showing you our Stock. Yours for a Merry Christmas GIVEN HARDWARE C0. BEMIDJI, MINN. Coffee Pots, Tea Pots, Percolators and Cocoa Sets. 18 oz. Copper, Silver Lined, Nickel Plated Ccffee and Tea Pots, fancy shape, 2 pint Pots, $1. 75 each; 3 pint $2.00 and 4 pint $2.25 each. Rochester Nickel plated on Copper Tea and Coffee Pots at these prices, 2 pint 75¢ each, 4 pint 95¢ each. Rochester Nickel plated on Copper Coffee. Percolators at the following prices: 7 cup Percolators $2.25, 8 cup Percolators 2.50. Those handy little Universal Alcohol Stoves, so necessary in every home, at $2.50 each. 4 piece silver Cocoa Sets at $12.00 a set. 5 cup Perculators $2.00, Manicuring Sets, Jewel Boxes, Nut Sets, Ink Wells. Ivory Antique Handled Nickel plated Manicure Sets in plush lined boxes at $3.50 a set. Jewel Boxes, Ink Wells, Tooth Pick Holders, Nut Crackers and Picks and many other things at Clean up Sleds, Coasters, Skis, Skates, and Christmas Novelties Angel Iron Hand Sleds from 50¢ to $1.50. Genuine Flexible Flyer Coasters, the Greatest Coaster made; just the thing for Boys and Girls, at the following: _No. 1 Coaster $2 00; No. 2 Coaster $2.50; No. 8 Coasters $3.25; No. 4 Coasters $4.00. Children and Grown People like Skis and we have them; 4 foot Skis §1.15; 6 foot Skis $1.45; 6 foot Skis Come inand give us the Phone 57. s e ——————— i