The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, April 12, 1903, Page 6

HE keynote of dis- pline “Don’t look for troubie.” that the law good over, hol wo:ld just the of in s much in nent n as this world, her of wl we for in enter all s Modern great teacher w a roomful of lies in keep! m to be expecting in the morning with itude. Say tc the o I, ¢ untii it becomes a THE YOU: DY N the most impor- tant ot life bui.ding of racter, a young woman will be rgely the - sultant of t fluences of her so- cial su undings Bvery little helps the much ery care be no more important question than. how she may wisdom and honor in there ca for her t onsider we have in mind conception which in- the select few, of the “meaner re not think- into_whicl with the whole socla nd from which e term “soclety” narrow s 1 circle ting all others “Philistines.’ posture ime to again reach a We have not in mind that society which consum trying to keep up with ti hion and t serv t which r worse. mold of form f all the lives in frivolity and Such a woman, {i e Paul declarcs, “is dead while she k It may be sald of her a name that thou livest and dead both she does nc members of t benefit; and ¥, dead to In this narrow and we shall not consider the word but in its broader meaning, ¥ cludes ali the relations does n spiritu: AVE tried the women josity ever fathom of you to morbid whereln n- cu and timent played 2a lurid part? Women seem to have but little sense of the fitness of things when eithe ; or sent ent is aroused. The life of a newspaper woman is full to the limit of sorts of experiences and often her re- ment and ted to awful shock: As a matter of business such a woman wust of necessity go many places in quest writing matter that otherwise would ve littie fascination for her. But to woman having no possible concern in ch affairs the curiosity part that looms delicacy are subje: is so decply th morbidity as verge on fa let a crime be committed, no matter ow revoiting the detalls, and women will be panicky with the most insatiable to see both the tim“and the ator. 1 a series of the most revolting mur- trials lately in progress in the city New York women have figured more s prominently and it has been ab- utely astonishing to see the number of them seemingly refined and cultivated, handsomely groomed and prosperous look- iug, crowding and actually fighting for uirance into the stuffy courtroom, where v had no interest either in the accused victim, and yet they would be ling to pay almost any price were ad- sion fees permissible, to catch a satis- ing glimpse of the poor wretch who sees with paralyzing fear the gibbet in the pos- sible future. In one such case the police were obliged make a flying wedge and actually 5 the women , threatening ar- matter of course to you. Don’t go to your pupils with a feeling of suspicion and an air cunning watchfulness, as if they were your enemies and it were a game in which one or the other is going to come cut abead. You can't bring a feeling your room that the children won't for they are keen in their intul- If you are afraid that they will too much for your authority they your f in no time and they you a merry dance. of into know, tions. prov wil! gu will lez Make up your mind that they are inter- attentive, respectful, obedient and will be so. r a chorus of cries, such as “That's y well in psychology and poetry, to know what you would do v good-for-nothing Tom and 1 Harry.” I should do just what you nd hope and grow discour- ested they I hes ve all of the week. I have had hare of Toms and Dicks and T the irrepri le and sometimes the most lovable as well. 1 don’t mean that the’rule children to be good is going to apply in every case. There are plenty will let you keep on expecting and to run the room for you in the mean- But t e the exceptions; in I stick to my law. the exceptions—what rule can lay down for them? Each one individual case and must be handied Of cou ot expectin, who time. an ttvidua Human beings are for the most part well disposed when they are treated in be same way. I find my children well Aisposed in most cases when I treat them wit put them on their honor. 1 don’'t make rules, then they friendliness. 1 fect 2 young woman in home, in church, in school and in business as well as in her playhours. Every young woman should so govern her life that her character shall be beau tiful d good and her life the truest success and that may serve others in the highest sense. A life of mere pieasure-seeking is destructive of the highest type of racte “She that liveth in pleasure dead while she liveth. be true there are many who pass In soclety as fuil entertaining, but who a1 really among the dead. Their chief thought is how to find pleasure, how to be amused, how to have a time.” Self-seeking and self-p absorb their minds and he iritually worship of God, to which is unselfsh, they are dead to th the higher thought-lif and to generous deeds. Such a life is said to be a living corpse whose con- nce is consumed by the worm of sin- ful desire. Nothing whatever is here intended st the real enjoyment of life. God us to be happy and the joyous ele- meant in our being is one of the most im- re porta ous with which he endowed us. But life whose end is pleasure is an untrue life. God made us for soclety and none of us can be all he intended us to be without discharging faithfully all our social obligations. To live too much in solitude and seclusion is to become morbid and dwarfed. On the other hand, almost every thoughtful young woman is sensible of the baneful influence of much of the so-called ‘“‘soci- ety” with which we are grievously afilicted Ay woman's ideals will largely de- termine what shall be her society and hall be her familiar associates. She realizes that all her talents and abili- given her as a sacred trust to lop and make the most of; that she should aim to so educate and control her that she shall always be her strongest, brightest and happiest self, will VDAY C seek that society whose attitude toward life is always high and earnest. On the other-hand, a young woman who does not enter into the serfousness of life, but is interested in the merely external things of life, will seek that society whose estimate of life is low and trifling, and whose in- fluence mars and scars the character and destroys the real beauty of soul. So we see that the standpoint from which young women will look at things is determined by the conscious or unconscious influ- ence of the society they enter. The ideal young woman is not a slave to fashion’s mart and social custom. Sne avoids the extravagances and puerilities of life in conduct and in speech. One of the most useless of all human beings is the young society woman who" ig a creation of the dressmaker and whose worth is measured by the yard and whose occupation is to dress and perfume her- self and look dainty and to do hefself up into an artificial bundle. Her sole ambi- tion is to foliow the fashien. She would rather lie than break any of the rules of mart set.” Dr. Stephen W. Dana, in his book Woman's Possibilities and Limita- holds that the love of admiration He tions,” is peculiarly characteristic of woman. would answer for this in the fact that she was made to love and to be loved® and that love in some form is esseftial to her best life, without which she is dwarfed and undeveloped. He says: “Aside from exceptions, 4nd back of all theories and there is in the heart of women s, at least in the early years, an expectation of marriage.” He further states: “Inasmuch as the almost universal custom, Christian or pagan, is that the hand of woman must be sought and not offered, she naturally desires to posses at- tractive qualities and win admiration.” “This,” he says, “Is apt to become promi- nent in the trend of her thought, too often exciting jealousy toward her own sex in a competltive struggle to conquer man Tt she, give full play to these feelings, dues not keep them in subjection to somethiug Y LECZT nobler, she will soon become valn and foolish and too often deceitful, designing, unscrfupuious.” I give you this statement for what it Is worth: but I am of the opinion that there are other causes which lead to extravagance in dress, for much of it makes a woman -look anything but attractive and worthy of admiration. The love of admiration is a characteristic of which both men und women necessarily have much in common. I am inclined to the belief that the conventibnal spirit of woman, her disposition to conform to the customs and standards of society, is as much responstble for a *young woman's extravagances and puerilities in society is her love of admiration. In the so- cial world many are governed by the herdle instinct; the few lead the many. It is sald that woman Is more sensitive to the Jittle proprieties of life than man, and she §& xlower to assert her individuality in dress, occupatigh and amusement. The most satisfactory and conclusive argu- ment for many young women is: ‘‘The thing is fashionable and therefore the thing to do.” Many never get above the conventional mind; they do as ‘society dictates. It is sald: “Mapy a' woman would rather break the ten command- ments than the social code. She would rather be considered sinful in the sight of God than cueer in/the estimation of so- ciety.” Thus we have what is well called the “‘reign of fashion.” “The Lord looketh on the heart,” but “man looketh on theoutward appearance' for the marks of charac The New Testament thought on this subject is, “That women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobri- et There may be some excuse if in infancy our clothes form the biggest part of us, but in mature life the parcel should be more important than the wrapping around {t. The reign of fashion has by one been called, “The inquisition of fash- fon.”” The “adornments” of the outward person are the chief concern of many. Some sell their birthright for a mess of finery. As outward adornings are related higher and BY MR CRIFECITINV —PRINCIPAL or zzrz RINCOV GRAMMAR SCHDL can’t break any. But even so, there will be occasional trouble. Some boys are inclined to quarrel with their playmates in the yard. The blow follows the word. When I see a boy punch some one it doesn’t take me long to get that boy away from the others. “You'll have to stand by me on this platform and watch the others play until you can learn how to play with them,” I tell him. I keep him beside me as long as the case warrants—sometimes for cne recess, sometimes for all the recesses of a whole week. He plays like a little gen- tleman when he returns to the yard, for a long time, if not permanently. Of ccurse, he must be kept out of doors, ven though separated from the other children. This is just one instance. You see, when I have to punish I alm to make the pun- {shment fit the crime. Sometimes I find cheating going on in marble season, and then I insist that the matter be submitted to arbitration when I don’t understand the game well enough to settle the quar- rel myself. I call up a committee of boys and let them act as jury. If I find a boy inclined to be dishonest I stop his playing for a time. Idleness in school hours has to be pun- ished by work after school. The school hours are long enough, and I try to im- press this fact upon the idler. It is always best to secure the co-opera- tion of parents. If a child makes trouble in any way send for the mother or father or guardian and have a friendly talk about the matter. Sometimes it is a good thing to have this talk in the presence of the ypung sinner—it is solemn and im- pressive. There is a great deal In letting little things go. A teacher who devotes much of her time to them will be obliged to neglect the important faults. Don’'t be fussy; don’t nag about trifles. Study each to the inward life, the ideal young woman seeks as the thing of chief importance the cultivation of the mind; she would be admired for real worth of character and not some freak or whim. She would be admired not for beauty of face or grace and ease in manners, but for. culture in high mental, moral and Christian quali- ties. Her admirers are the thoughtful and serious people of life who appreciate her for the force and beauty of her character. Another thing that works against the highest development in character is the affectation of ‘“‘society”; it is styled by one as a ‘“deformity acquired.” It acts on the principle of Hamlet, when he says to the queen: “Assume & virtue, if you have it not.” Acting on this principle, many have gone on assuming until they are more artificial than real flesh and blood. Affectation soon becomes a habit; it is said to begin by being ridiculous and often ends up in being fmmoral and viclous, Some young people even assume an absurdity or a vice; they pretend weak- nesses, defects and demerits. We read that in London the new waman is imi- tating the men in all things. In the Eng- lish metropolis there are over fifty social, literary and political clubs. In these, it is claimed, “care is taken to secure the best brands of wines and cigarettes; or, where the members belong to the humbler strata of soclety, to insure a good quality of beer and tobacco.” The women are said to be modeling their attire after the masculine fashion. But we need not go across the water to find such marks of female degeneracy; we have them nearer home, and to our ame. Then, some forms of social etiquette permit the affect- ing defective utterance till it becomes habitual with the user. How silly this affecting a lisp or drawl, or giggle in con- versation. How distasteful is that affec- tation which says “buttah™ for butter, *honnah’ for honor, “suppah” for supper. Then what assuming of ability to live in a style for which one is not fitted; every- thing must be fashionable. Thus, some young women go on assuming and affect- child, find out what is the constitutic nal fault in each one and go to work to over- come that as much as possible. One will be lazy, another deceitful, another sulk and so on. If parents and teacher car thoroughly understand each other on this point and work together to the same end we shall have happy results. The question of settling a matter of deportment upon the spot or waiting un til after school and in private is' often discussed. I don't believe in letting any naughtiness go by if it is seen by the class. (Have it out then and there with the culprit. Don’t let your class think that the wrong could go unnoticed. But if they are not disturbed by it it is bet- ter not to take up their time by correct- ing the offender. As for corporal punishment—whip when you have to, and not until you have to. there are It is seidom necessary, but cases that cannot be handled in any other w Nothing but a whipping will appeal to certain boys, and if I had my way in the making of school laws cer- tain girls would come in for their share, too. I have been in the Rincon School for two years, and there has never been a whip ng there in the time, of which I am proud; but I am ready to whip at There are any time that I may have to. times when a good thrashing far bet- ter than suspension, if suspension would throw a boy upon the street. It is not fair to talk about the bad boy as if he made all the trouble. Girls are sometimes troublesome, too, and for my part 1 am just as contented to work with one as with the other. But it Is true that the vigorous, high-spirited boy is inclined to rather more mischief and lawlessness than his more docile sister, consequently he is the serious problem of the inexperienced teacher. After all, I don’t belleve there are any impossible children. It seems to me that there must be a way of managing every one. We don’t know the way yet, but I believe we shall learn it some day. NG WOMAN IV LSOCIETY REV~- FRANFC FC-BAKER ing until they imagine themselves to be the brightest stars in all the soctal heav- ens, and upon whom all eyes are gazing and feasting. I imagine they feel some- thing like the English officer of whom I have read. He, arrayed in full regimental uniform, steutted like a vain peacock up the aisle of the church just as the min ter uttered the words, “Who art thou?” “I am,” sald the soldier, “an officer in her Majesty's service, attached to the Light Dragoons, and am here on recruiting ser- vice, thank you,” and he sat down, amid the twitter of the congregacion. How merciless is the rigor and vigor of “society,” crushing all that is natural out of us until of a truth we are more dead than alive. This world is in need of young women who possess something better than beauty of face and grace of form, something that outranks the ablility to shine in “society.” The world is in urgent need of young women of good sense; “who,” as Rev. Dr. Hall says, “have a standard of their own, regardless of conventionaliti and are independent enough to live up to it; girls who will wear what is pretty and be- coming and snap their fingers at the di tates of fashion when fashion is horrid and silly.” To live her best, the ideal young woman is never boisterous in public; is not fickle nor glddy; is not coarse, vaigar, nor com- monplace in look, word or act; is neither a gossip nor a flirt. But she is modest, quiet, thoughtful; gentle and pure in word and life; always and everywhere the lady; her associates are ennobling and young men are always the gentleman in her presence; she is Industrious in the use of her time and talents. As to amusements. only such as rest the mind and body and ennoble the life will she indulge in. She guards her body as the temple of Go nd ha‘;r heart, for out of it are “the issues of life.” The other great controlling thought of a young woman's life is that of her rela- tions to others in Christian service. CURIOT T T I 3P f BN TITENVT ¥ WOLNETY . BY AATE THYSON MARR - rest In case of resistance, clear the courthouse of the feminine that fought for admission. Think of well groomed women strug- ng until their clothing was so fearful- in order to mob disarranged, s literally torn from their heads and all in all so miserably disheveled as to be obliged to call cabs to take them home, being too unpresent- able to seek the friendly service of the reet cars. And this is fact. To cne who has never been in a crim- inal courtroom the scene has such weird possibiiities as to be uncanny. The horrible ordeal of cross-question- ing, sufficient, it would seem to wreck the strongest nerves, and the evident tor- ture that a witness endures, particularly an unwilling witness, one who may be qualified as a friend of the accused, and who thinks in his heart that his friend is guilty, but who is loth not only to belleve it himself but who tries to shield him, meanwhile realizing his helplessness and that the very effort makes the fact so patent as to do more harm than good. And vet, women get the courtroom habfi 2nd every ghastly murder trial finds them al the gates clamoring for admission and sitting day after day listening to the cieepy tale that is often enough to make one rick, body and soul. And this is no exaggeration. In what consists the fascination it would be difficult to tell, and yet pretty girls, whose mothers would be shocked did they know, haunt such places, beau- tifully gowned, and are both indignant 2nd injured when denied admission by the court officers, and wili speak to those in attendance without the formality of in- troduction, begging to be taken in under the escort of perfect strangers, whether man or woman. That people should have so little respect for the grief or the horror into which families are plunged is simply awful to consider. In the question of sentiment it seems queer what a lot of it is wasted upon the most revolting human brutes. Men, with- out the semblance of humanity, who have committed the most unspeakable of crimes, are visited and smothered in Men Who Have Committed the Most Unspeakable Crimes Are Visited and Bmothered With Fiowers. flowers by a lot of cranks, who would bet- ter be at home darning stockings, minding their own business, or spending the money to buy bread for the families of the criminals, than wasting time and sen- timent and sympathy on a wretch for whom a dozen gibbets Would be much too merciful. I recall one such case, where a woman repelled the advances of a drunken brute, telling her husband of them. The man, despite warnings, persisted in annoying her. Onme night, drunk as usual, he called and met the husband, whom he killed in the most unprovoked and brutal manner. The wife was very poor, as such vic- tims usually are, and yet that miserable wretch was treated as if he had been the most unfortunate and pitiable martyr by & bevy of women, who had never seen him until his ecrime brought notoriety, but who sent flowers and delicacies to him day after day, while the poor widow, de- prived of her support and left alone and penniless to struggle for herself and chil- dren, elicited no sympathy. The wretch deserved no consideration, and this hue and cry of religion and con- version under the shadow of the gallows, I am wicked enough to say, does not ap- peal to me. The woman left with her little family to support and the misery of her horrible experience has a stronger hold on my practical sympathies. When a man murders in cold blood af- ter the worst passions of his nature have inspired the murder, it seems almost an tnsult to the Almighty to waste time and prayers on him. In talking to the Sheriff of one of the largest countles of the State of New York some time ago he said that one would be surprised to learn that the more re- pulsive the criminal and his crime the more were women apt to be victimized in their sympathy for him. He even as- serted that women wrote the most gush- ing love letters to such men whom they had never seen, telling them that they were sure they had been wrongfully ac- cused, and offering money freely in their efforts to save them, adding that their faces in the papers had won their hearts and they wanted only love in return for any services to secure !fberty. In proof of this he took me to bis office and showed me several letters written on crested pa- per, one of which was from a young girl, who also inclosed her photosraph, which the Sheriff sent together with her letter to her father, but even this drastic measure did not prevent the foolish girl from send- ing flowers and money from time to time to the wretch whom she had never seen. After showing me the letters the offi- clal sent me under full escort Into the jail part of the building to see the crea- ture whose newspaper pictures had In- spired such ardor. I think that one glance at the brutal face would have cured any girl of the most malighant case of infat- uation, and yet there is never any tell- ing what a woman will do. The most ap- palling part of the story was that the girl had given her full name and address. That such scenes, such places and such creatures should awaken the sympathy of refined women is simply astoundjng. A business woman must of necessity go many places, see much and hear more that has little interest for her outside of her craft, whatever it may be, and yet women friends of newspaper women will haunt them, begging to accompany them on all sorts of missions that a newspaper woman must steel herself to bra To a woman of deep feeling there is something awful and grewsome in a mur- der trial that is too sacred for idle or morbid curiosity. Her nerves are on-a terrible tension as she must write. not from her intuitions or from her sympa- thies, but she must in a measure elimi- nate her womanly self in her endeavor to give to her readers a just and conserv- ative estimate of the case. Now a man may ask if a woman can ever be just where a man is concerned, pgrticularly if he is good looking? I guess that is pretty hard to determine, because the womanly part of a woman is her sweetest prerogative, and of course her sympathies being strong she has urally” a vearning for the lowliest when in distress. Yet she must not forget that there are others also to be ¢ idered and that a newly made grave stands be- tween the law and the gibbet. at-