Evening Star Newspaper, September 27, 1931, Page 70

Wige Vi -l --*mo—v‘_‘;fi!—‘}vfi.,' '““T‘W SHINGTON, D. C, SEPTEMBER 27, 193L° . THE SUNDAY STAR, WA sedan chairs and weré borne into the narrow janes of Hangchow.- 5 Through the windows of the chair I could sce the rising moon gleaming against the gilded facades of shop fronts; flittering coolly upon the piled wares of a roadside brass vendor; dancing, even, across the fetid waters of an open canal sewer—uncontaminated. The chairs stopped before a long, high wall the edge of the courtyard, and whispered: ' “He is' greatest in all Hangehow. /Th anonymity of Chinese poets in the past. selfless devotion to their art. Their leavin lovely, unsigned verses hanging to flowerin plum trees, or on temple wal: And I won dered if this modern itch to see one’s work i print, with a byline, was precisely good. “All ovah China, on this night,” the bo went on, “our peet ‘write ode’ to beauty o moon. Many t'ousand of poem’. Ten t'ousand twenty t'ousand, tirty t'ousand, fo'ty—" “Boy, stop counting!” I warned, and wood. The heavy door handles were of bronze; the two guardian dogs before the gate were of polished marble. I realized that the bey had told the truth when he said his cousin was a wich man. Waung thumped the knocker. As it clanged, a sound of feminime laughter within stopped abruptly. Shuffling footsteps approached. There was the protesting creak of cross bars of wood being lifted. The door opened & crack and a beady eye peered out. “The boy spoke in rapid Chinese, the only word of which I was able to catch was the repeated phrase, “Bey-nu-ta, Bey-nu-ta.” Since Bey-nu-ta was the accepted sinofication of my name, I judged that I was being employed as an open sesame. After a long wait the two huge gate-doors were parted. A servant The grandfather now walked slowly up the altar. The family fell silent—even th y the cake. The old man halted solemnl before the papier-mache rabbit. ve three times, the quick, bobbing bow of Chinal He looked upward to the moon and again gav three bows. He stepped back and his eldest sor took his place. ‘When the last wife, unmarried daughter and ter had made her obeisance to moon, I judged that the formal ceremony Ww: over. But more remained. The grandfat now brought out a large flagon, curiously mold. ed in the form of a fish. From the mouth o this he poured cups. ] Followed by Waung, I was ushered through a tiny, roofed foyer, then behind & mmagnificent spirit screen of teakwood carved with writh- dragons (the screen to ward off evil de- taking advantage of the open gate to H : Hnlwmaflnfmfly,m twoscore persons, assembled. The head of thy houwsehold, an oid Chinese garbed in mag- mificent peachblow silk, approached me. He imto the Two red candles flickered and guttered in & thin wind. Piled along the edge st S G of the table were mounds of round cake—sim T e— flar to the moon cakes that my cook in Shang- hai had been baking so assiduously. HIW“‘ In the flurry of my arrival a chubby little copper bowl. . oy of 3 very dexterously stole one of the cakes seniority, the entire without being observed—only to advertise his dipped his hands theft by cramming the sweetmeat down his on his eyes. My host throat and promptly choking. After he had tainly yet invitingly. been thumped on his fat back and the and splashed the cool, sons man; grandsons, in- , I could e v g noisy city hugmamm wife of my host and his two small wives); 9 Symbol of a clean mind. incased in 2-inch slippers of cloth of silver. Their short jackets were of silver brocade or Shanghai?” heavy creaking satin; their trousers—worn e 1 He gave me a blank look which, in the past, I had invariably found to connote deep-dyed guilt. “Oh-a, yes, mastah, perhaps I do say that rich man is my cousin. But"—the words were a little dogged—‘“his cook is my cousin! And his number one boy is my cousin, too! “Waung,” I reprimanded, “thats . . . The boy was finding himself in a tight cor- ”» » e 'HAT is the most durable thing have been delivered at so-called “banquets,” his collar except cornmeal mush, who thinks laws to prohibit this and that, why not arrange in the world? What is it that and out of this grand total eonly. eight were that he is & comic. He is to an unprotected to do something to those criminals in ewery never wears out? Check over any good and all of these happened before public what the boll-weevil is to cotton and community who gayly insist that they will talk the animal, vegetable and prohibition went into effect. the grasshoppers are to Kansas. You will re- for only 5 minutes and then erupt for a solid mineral kingdoms and con- The practice of speech-making at any kind member him as an anthropoid who told the hour? sider sole leather, mahogany, of dinner seems to have originated in England, story about Pat and Mike with a Czecho- " Every classic ever delivered at a banquet was granite, diamond point drills and such, and, but it came into full bloom here in the United slovakian dialect. Born to be a coffin-trim- exceedingly short. Mark Twain's famous speech as the colege professor would say, “in the States, where there are more joiners and mer, but believing he is Eddy Cantor. about “Babies,” which he delivered at the final analysis” you will have to vote for the symbolic badges and unpaid dues to the Good short speeches are as infrequent as Palmer House in Chicago when the welcome- Snaestructible tissue wused in the making of square inch than anywhere else in the world. gemuine old-fashioned - strawberry short-cake. home dinner was given to Gen. Grant, is about yocal eords, The boasting clubs, the mymual conventions of All who cannot speak do so. Also, the more 5 minutes long. Simeon Ford was one of the What is the sweetest and most entrancing fraternal orders snd trade organizations and involved and dreary and witless the speech, best and funniest and he took about 8 min combination of sounds that ever smote upon stereotyped reunions of collegians and ex- the longer it has to be. but every line was a shrick. He became so' the human esr? Some one msay suggest a soldiers and former members of Nompareil Let us take a typical case, because it illus- popular and got so nvitati $hat ‘he mtym-rmedhthesos- Bowling Seciety have helped to harden a per- trates what happens time and time ) medtogomtomy ton Symphony Orchestra, when all of the nicious custom into & deadly habit An important dinner is arranged and it 15 Among the great banquet entertainers to whom _nmmuemveu. Or a moocking The British after-dirmer speech is probably planned to have a few short speeches by dis-* I bave Wstkennd 2 bird putting in his best licks in a live eak the dullest and most soggy of any ever in- tinguished guests. One of these cel is Horace Porter, Patrick L’u ‘h, tree on a sunny dey in Florida. Or the faint flicted, but the victims have one advantage. notified that a few remarks will be expected e !m.!hnunl"yém chimes from = distant cathedral tower at They begin the dinner with turtle soup and from him and that he will be allowed & grand M('“mb-m Thomas, Jo! riffiths eventide. All wrong. The most glorious and probebly the main item is saddle of mutton. total of twenty minutes and, inasmuch as o mm at W\d‘:;l- soul-intoxicating music that ever carried s They top off with port wine and Stilton there are five speakers on the program, it is mmmm M“MMW-" mortal into the realms of bliss is the sound Cheese, consequeritly they are comatose before suggested that he keep his contribution within Rogers. mm profession has 2 Jew of the orator’s voice as he joyfully listens to the talking begins, They can enjoy a gentle a time limit of twenty minutes. He writes good ones - himself making & speech. drowse while some one with an escutcheon back in jocular mood and says: “I shall be s toastmasters have been even rarer All of which is by way of preamble to the and @ stoppage in his speech hems and haws glad to make s few observations, but I wil fl"fll -d'llm Most of them deliberate statement the champion pest his way through a mess of dreol. They can not require twenty minutes. I will talk about merely bleat. two best I ever knew are ©f modern times has been the volunteer say “Hear! Heur!” once in » while without wak- five minutes.” both dead—Frank Lawrence of the Lotos Club speaker who thinks he is an inspired blendirg ing wp. *Then the diplomatic chairman of the pro- tnNev:nYouandWMNsbltofthemy of Daniel Webster and Bill “The would-be orstors grown here at home gram committee advises him that If he pre- Club Chicago, who was called upon for Rogers instead of a living megaphone, curdling are of three kinds. pares his address in advance, it would be we! many years to control large and unwieldy mobs the air with needless adjectives, cheap comedy Pirst, the human flat tire who smirks and within the twenty-minute lmit. ¥Fe writes of hilarious Frank Lawrence was brief and too much static. apologizes and chokes up. His eyes bulge out back again thet his intention is to make a and urbane and mildly pleasant, but he was History fails to explain why the good old and he is given to long pauses very shert speech and probably the thing will the only toastriaster I ever knew who could custom of around a table and stow- and motheaten platitudes. He has forgotten not be over fifteen minubtes long. stop a long-winded yapper right in the middle tng away a lot of food became everything he ever knew. He has even for- Thep we come $o the night of the big doings of his speech and remind him that his time ®y a delusion that if & number of people got gotten how to sit down. and that same 5-minute lad arises in his place was up and squeich him snd make him sit together to do some two-handed eating and Second, the cocky gentleman who has pre- and rambles and gibbers and backs up and down without hurting the feelings of the drinking, then the crowd could mot disperse wdhhmmmm”hhmeewo detours for 45 minutes. It happens every time speaker. Nesbit was & wonder when it came to until each member of the goodly company bad high, while scattering flowers of speech which an t organization pulls an eating party quick comebacks and ready invention and all stood up and to n no botanist could analyze. He is earnest and at which speaking is permitted. Always one sorts of impromptu stunts which go over with a8 a “toast.” pm:mmmmdmemflnm of the so-called entertainers goes plumb crazy @ whoop when the boys have been partaking Statisties ndicate that during the last A candidate Tor some good sanitarium. and rermains on his feet until the whole party of something @ little more potent than sparkling fifty years mno less than one million speeches Third, the beaming boob with nothing above is a dismal wash-out. While we are passing water.