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WOMAN’S PAGE. The Sidewalks of Washington BY THORNTON FISHER. A modern mother declared the other day that she does not read Mother Goose rhymes to her young son. “They are senseless, and even the infantile mind refuses to accept them any long- er,” said she. Others did not agree with her. However, in this B:tml age the rhymes might be rewril . Let us take— “Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater, _ Had a wife and couldn't keep her. Put her in a pumpkin shell, And there he kept her very well.” Modern version: ‘“Peter, the pumpkin eater, of 99999 Fourteenth street, being held by the police of the six- teenth precinct pending the finding of . Peter, whose last name is un- known, claims that his wife would not remain home and cook his pumpkins properly, nor attend to her domestic duties. He told the police that she played bridge every afternoon, to the detriment of her household duties. So far a city-wide search has been made, with no results. Unless there are new developments soon, Peter will be charged with the murder of his wife, There are several mysterious angles which the Detective Bureau hopes to solve. Cyrus P. Glump, a railroad conductor, asserts that he saw a woman answering Mrs. Peters’ de- |t seription get on his train last Tuesday. She seemed to be a I platform. He said he paid no attention to the lady, thinking she W sad because 1 Ing relatives at the depot. ticket called for a trip to Baltimore. The police of that city have been notified to watch for the lady. In the meantime Peter insists that he knows nothing of his wife’s whereabouts and would give anything to have her return. The police believe that this is merely camouflage and that Peter knows where his wife is.” Next edition. “Peter’s wife found in s kin shell. This afternoon the poflxemplvund Mrs. Peter nailed in a gflu::un shell in the cellar of her 3 99 Fourteenth street, where she had been confined for 48 hours. She had apparently suffered no injuries, and after a gnlllnl by detectives, ad- er husband, in a fit of anger, nailed her inside the shell. She confessed that she was a bridge fiend | and liked to go places. Peter has been 3 * k% % The pig was eat and Tom was beat And Tom ran dm’: the street e Tom, son of a piper, uuht stealing pigs. Yesterday he was nal by Policeman Jones as he at- tempted to get away with a pig at Cen- ter Market. When taken to the station house Tom admitted that he had stolen the animal, which he intended to sell to @ dealer in Georgetown. His first two attempts had been successful, and the pigs had been butchered and eaten. Taken before Judge -—— he pleaded guilty. Due to his age, the judge ad- is | vised that he be taken home and sound- | Iy thrashed by his parents. Apparently | this was done, for soon after Tom Wi seen running down the street crying | N | “There was a man in our town, and | he was wondrous wise, | He jumped into a bremble bush and | scratched out both his eyes. And when he found his eyes were out, | with all his might and main, | He jumped into another bush and scratched them in again.” “Medical men scoff at the story that & Washington man scratched his eyes in again as reported recently. ‘This is utterly absurd and impossible,’ said a well known physician. ‘Such stories as only encourage the ignorant and gullible to jump into bramble bushes to seek a cure for their ailment. This man came to me several months ago and I told him I could do nothing for hfla He seemed discouraged, and threaten: to jump into something. I thought he meant the river or a well. I never dreamed that he would leap into a bramble bush. And now he circulates the story that he obtained a cure. I he is fooling the public.’ " *ok ok ke “An amusing story has been going the rounds lately of a cat and a fiddle and a cow that jumped over the moon. The owner of a chow dog says the ani- ma actually laughed aloud to see such sport. An- other resident says that the phenome- non caused one of the dishes in his pantry to run away with a silver spoon, which had been in the family for years. Scien- tists declare that it is impossible for a cow or any other animal to leap as high as the moon. ‘It is mere- ly a wild imagina- tion,’ said one sci- entist when inter- “IT 1§ MERELY A WILD IMAGINATION sz Teleased. ’s son, “Tom, Tom, the gr;oblpl‘lndlwlyher\m. viewed. ‘Some people are always see- ing things.’” i KEEPING MENTALLY FIT BY JOSEPH Taugh at Wrong Place. What makes audiences laugh in the wrong place? This has puzzled me as well as the lady who writes to your colleague of the screen page who expresses the belief that a *psychologist could explain the thing in detail.” I pass the question along to you. The successful manner with which you daily cope with the prob- lems of ‘y‘oouw readers assured me your solul would be hl;b"’ucfive. Reply. ‘This question is as old as the obser- wvation t the wall that divides the subline from the ridiculous is t] one. The Romans put it thus, mountain was in labor, and there emerged & mouse. ‘When you aim at a big effect and {:L ywolm“ ‘1‘- as as a mile; tead a wuding Ir success, at your um. 8o far, 80 clear; but though that scores some- t, it does not hit the tial point is inclined. An incident that T saw on the screen but yuw!dlY will do to illustrate. ‘There’s a volunteer concert on board m. A gaunt lady of uncertain age no vocal powers insists upon per- forming; she has an ambitious operatic manner insensitive to discords. Some of the audience in the picture smile, others hold their ears, others listen in patience for a time, but soon the chairs are empty. That vocalist took herself .seriously, and those of the audience who couldn’t do so, laughed when they shouldn't have done so, laughed at the wrong place, if you will. Had that rformance been announced as a bur- lesque imitation of a prima donna the ship's audience might have enjoyed it as much as the movie audience that was free to laugh; in fact, the whole t.h!ng was intended to make them laugh, and thus the audience, of which I was one, laughed at the right place, In brief, there is a conflict of emo- tion, and how that conflict is felt de- pends upon the emotional level and control of the individual. That, too, is familiar. If some one falls on an icy vement, you are inclined to laugh, ause the man loses his dignity as well as his hat, and his sprawling af tude is furiny; besides it isn’t you who fell, and so you enjoy another’s dis- comfiture. You haven't falled; some- body else has. But if a child tumbles it isn't funny, because the child hasn't much dignity to lose, and you don't get any kick out JASTROW. of being superior to a child. And if a lady falls, your gallantry comes to your rlll.d dlnd you offer her a heroic helping n ‘Thus recognizing how subtly our rival and conflicting emotions are aroused by similar situations, we are prepared to find that, according to one’s sympathies and upbringing, some will scoff where others pray, and some will smile where others weep. The most treacherous ground is that of the tender sentiments. If the sentimental situation seems to you tawdry and sloppy and soft—such as you would never be e:uht in—you either resent it or are bored or take it as an occasion for mirth. It is meant to be something, "AL;’ not sublime at least impressive; but ailing to move you, you scorn it with a mfurh h, super ug] ughing at the wrong place comes under this formula; but it may do so more subtly and more vaguely than the simpler cases I have mentioned. I may also be cruder, as when an audi- ence rags a speaker or hoots an actor. And at the Hoboken Theater, in which are given old-time plays—which in their day, when the audience was naive and sympathetic, made them weep— the audience indulges in superior chuckles and there to enjoy that goes 80 [ emotion. ~ Yet real laughter at the wrong place appears when you lack the understanding to appreciate the sentiment, the mood, the situation that is beyond you. You may be bored or you may laugh, but the laugh is then on you. | without eventually think an investigation will prove that; BY REV. JORN R. GUNN. Pay Day. Will Come. “Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes; but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment.”—Ecclesiastics, x1.9. “I always figured that nothing could hurt me,” the young man told the doctor. “That's the way a lot of young fel- lows figure these days,” the doctor an- swered, “but nobody can be irregular and immoderate in the everyday living paying the penalty.” ‘The doctor had found that the young man was suffering from an irregular heart. Questioning him as to his habits, the cause was readily discov- ered. He had been irregular in his hours for meals, irregular in his hours for sleep, and gular in his habits generally. That is just the thing that is wrecking the health of thousands of young men today. Young men bank too much on their youth. They boast that they can do this or that or the other thing without its having any effect on them. The day comes when nature rebels, and they rush to a doc- tor to save them—oftimes only when it 8 vter check 1, r check up on yourself, man, before you go too far, u’z""&fi young woman also take heed. Remem- ber the old saying, “An ounce of pre- vention is worth a pound of cure” Regular hours for eating and sleepis regularity in all your other habits, and the practice of moderation in all things will do more for you now than any doctor can do later. Be reckless with your health and strength in the days of youth, if you will. But, re- member—pay day will come. JOLLY POLLY A Lesson in——E;lilh. BY JOSEPH J. FRISCH. JACK INVITED CLARYSS AND MYSELF TO THE FOOTBALL GAME. OF COURSE, WE ACCEPTED WITH ALACRITY. WHEN A TOUCHDOWN WAS MADE, WE SANG THAT FAMOUS FOOTBALL THEME SONG:“AFTER “Jack invited Cl and me” is the correct form, not “Claryss and myself.” Alacrity (a-LAK-ri-ty) means cheerful willingness, readiness, or promptitude; briskness; sprightliness: as, the soldiers advanced with alacrity to meet the enemy; she no longer had that alacrity of spirit she was wont to have; they were a little more alacrious (a-LAK- ri-us) than usual. R Carrots and Celery. Carrots and celery are always in the market in Fall and Wi d add an unusual dish for the in which variety in vegetables is often difficult to obtain. The carrots will require longer cooking than the celery, so the t | best method of preparation is as fol- lows: Prepare and dice the carrots, cook in salted water, then about 20 minutes before the cooking is finished add some rather coarsely diced celery. Cook until tender, when little of the remain. When both vegeta- season with butter, pep- per, and additional salt if needed Turnips au Gratin, Cook one quart of sliced turnips in boiling, salted water until tender. Drain and arrange the turnips in s baking dish. Pour one cupful of hot, medium- thick white sauce over and sprinkl half a cupful of grated cheese and one- Willie Willis BY ROBERT QUILLEN “T guess it ain't wicked to say your yers after you get in bed if you've n readin’ a ghost story.” Savory salt that is smooth and fine. . always ‘THE finest salt shaker is only as good as the salt inside it: Wet weather will make it worthless if it is filled with ordi- pary salt. Any shaker is a good shaker when there’s International Salt inside! International mever gets hard or lumpy. Dampne: ), its smooth, even flow. ss makes no difference in It's guaranteed. And it is the cleanest, purest, most savory salt you can buy. A big, attractive carton costs only a nickel at your grocer’s fourth cupful of buttered crumbs on top. Place in the oven long enough to melt the-cheese and brown slightly on top. Berve in the baking dish. If you do not care for cheese, buttered | crumbs alone may be used on top of the turnips. Either the yellow or white turnips may be used. WASHINGTON, D. C., THURSDAY, NuUVEMBER 14, 1929. Madame Roland. Who, for a Time, Guided the French Revolution. BY S. P. 4 E AUTHOR, TOLD ROLAND, ‘THY WIFE 1S A GREATER b MAN THAN THYSELF.' " Once little Marie Jeanne Phlipon went with her g"rlandmother to call upon a lady of title. p'O‘Why evzr," she asked afterward, “did our hostess sit in an armchair and we on stools?” She could not understand and she resented the social distinctions which enabled nobility to treat the bourgeoise guests with condescension. She was & born democrat. Through the influence of a powerful friend, her father and mother some years later were invited to stay a week at the Palace of Versailles, where the great event each day was to watch the royal family dine. After a few days, Mme, Phlipon asked her daugh- ter: “Are you pleased with your visit, Manon?” Marie Jeanne responded: “Yes, pro- vided it soon comes to an end, but in a few days my loathing for these peo- ple will become uncontrollable.” ‘This girl lived to become the cele- brated Mme. Roland, chief founder and director of the Girondist party, who for a time guided the whole movement of the French revolution. Her whole career was one of unexampled nobility. She is one af the world's great heroines. She was beautiful and had many suitors as a young woman, but at 25, of her own will, married Roland de la Platriere, a government inspector of factories at Amiens, a man 20 years her senior. “I do not love him,” she told a friend, “but I expect to find happiness in the inexpressible charm of contributing to his.” ‘The truth is they were one in politi- cal thought and sympathy. When the revolution broke out they were de- lighted. Roland’s duties took him to Paris. ‘They arrived at & moment when some- thing like a constitutional monarchy had been established, but among the lower orders a vast discontent was . Robesplerre and the other young iblicans, who felt that the g\:erpole of the revolution had not yet n accomplished, formed tne habit of dro&ptu into the apartment of the Rolan in the Hotel Britannique. Mme. Roland scon had a salon which met regularly four times a week. Quiet- ly, unostentatiously she dominated it. the bennnxns of La Gironde. Louis XVI formed a ministry Roland became minister of the igterior. Now, indeed, was the formerly humble Marie Jeanne Phlipon risen high. She and her husband mov- ed into the magnificent luxuries of the ministry. But, significantly, people who sought action of any sort dealt with alm;. Roland and not with her hus- and. Louvet, the author, told Roland: “Thy wife s a Ere-ur man than thysel Unlike her husband, Mme. Roland Yhe EASY meal for the busy housewife Ready in'a jiffy~ ~more time for leisure At all chain grocers and good grocers generally. GLASS. saw no hope in the monarchy. Grad- ually she changed his mind. But she did ‘not always advise him well.and | as events moved toward the destruction of the monarchy the Girondists lost standing. What was to be done with the King? Roland, instructed by his wife, declared for a vote of the people. The Jacobins wanted immediate action, action that would annihilate royalty. ‘The condemhation and executjon of Louls in January, 1793, signaled the failure of the Girondists. Roland re- signed office and fled to safety. Mme. Roland was caught and imprisoned. Some months later she was convicted and gent to the guillotine. 'n news of her fate was brought to the refuge of her husband, who, in his austere way, adored her, he took out a dart which he had concealed in his cane, rested the hilt against an apple tree and leaned against it so that it pierced his heart. Curiously, notwithstanding the role she played, Mme. Rbland was an anti- feminist. DAILY DIET RECIPE PECAN PIE. ‘Butter, one-eighth pound; brown sugar, one-half cupful; eggs, three; molasses, three-quar- ters cupful; juice of one lemon: pecans, one cupful; whipping cream, one cupful. SERVES 5 OR 6 PORTIONS. Cream butter and sugar. Add eges, molasses and lemon juice. Beat with egg beater. Add pecans, cut very fine; beat well and pour into a raw pie crust. Bake 10 minutes at 450 degrees F. Reduce heat to 350 or 400 degrees F. and bake 30 minutes longer. Serve cold with whipped cream, Makes one eighth-inch ple. DIET NOTE. Recipe furnishes protein, sugar and some fat. Much iron, lime and vitamins A and B prese Recipe rich in fuel value. ¥ be eaten in moderation by adults of normal digestion who are of average or under weight. JUST pour milk or eream in a bowl of golden brown Rice Krispies and your own ears will tell you how crunchy every toasted bube ble is. So crisp it sctually erackles out loud} Try the 1 on the package. Rice Krispies are delicious in dozens of ways. At your grocer’s. Made by Kellogg in Battle Creek. The Autocrat of the Pantry It has earned preference with thou- sands of Washington housewives—be- cause-it meets expectations in every bak- ing—and insures against disappointment —because it is kitchen bred. ! 4 For sal by grocers and delicatessens—in all sizes from 2-1b. sacks up. You can economically buy the 12-1b. and 24-1b. zes—for ALL WASH- INGTON FLOUR IS GOOD UNTIL USED. Do not say, “bursted.” Say, pronounced: Attorney. Pro- nounce a-tur-ni, & as in " u as in “fur” i as in “it,” not a-tor-ny. Often misspelled: Accumulation; two ¢'s, but only one m. Synonyms: Haste, hurry, swiftness, speed, quickness, alacrity, velocity, rapidity, celerity. ‘Word study: “Use a word three times and it is yours.” Let us increase our vocabulary by mastering one word each day. Today’s word: ficient; thor- oughly qualified or skilled. ‘“You are very proficient in your work.” SONNYSAYINGS BY FANNY Y. CORY. Muvver say I t stay in bed two hours fer breakin’ Truman's winder. Her say it's better'n a spankin’, ‘cause & active child hates ter stay still—ain't it th’ truf (Copyright. 1929.) “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” Popular. ‘While the European publishers still say, as is universally known, that the world's best seller is the Bible, their opinion on which book has the second greatest demand caused a surprise. They FEATUR ES. OUR CHILDREN BY ANGELO PATRI Language and Sounds, The use of slang is not’altogether to be deplored. It gives life and color to language. But the use of catch words and phrases, of slang expressions, may check the language growth of children to a serious degree. I lictened to a g:tl:l kboy trrg'l?: to tell a story, u?;lng e pa a group conversation, and his efforts were mtr(uL ‘The ¢hild lacked words to express himself. “Did you see the thing the man used? He sure did—Some baby he is. He kinda made it go round—you know— what you call it?" The boys scarcely waited for his voice | to cease before they went on with: their talk regarding the juggler at the circus. They had words and used correct terms for them. They had ideas and the words to clothe them. But this lad had nothing but a collection of phrases. “Oh, gee, great,” described his after- noon. “Some baby,” expressed his appreci- atfon of the juggler. “And you went in a—you know—and you saw_a funny man—or maybe a telling—one starts the story and next takes it up. This is a fine exer- cise, great fun, even when the children can only add a sentence at a lime. Find some such means to the children use their language, build up a vocabulary, have some power of expres- sion. It will repay you a thousandfold. Speech is the index of the mind. (Copyright, 1920.) Creamn of Oyster Soup. Into a double boiler put three pints of milk, let boil, and thicken to the consistency of heavy cream. Add but- ter the size of an egg and a little salt. Let stand. Have ready & small bunch of celery cooked in enough water to cover it. When soft, strain into the cream. Then cook one pint of good oysters uulhtl{; ‘Take out the oysters and cut off the hard parts, then put the good parts into the cream and celery. Lastly, strain the oyster liquor into the other. Lei all stand over hot woman—I don’t know—and he had on a dress all funny, freak I guess you call it—and he did all funny things with his hands and these things. He put them all over.” That described a slelght of hand performer in a tent. “She told us 1 story. All about— him-m—Oh, I can't tell it—She sald it would be something—I don't know—in this country. Jake, you tell it.” Now this child could learn to talk if people would make a point of his doing s0. If he had been taught that when he said “Some baby—TI'll tell the cock- eyed world—You bet—What do you know about that?—Look who's there— He would say that,” and such phrases, that he had sald nothing at all, merely uttered some sounds, and had been forced to say in his own language what he intended to say, he could talk. ‘Writing letters is, of course, worse. “This is sure some place. There are sure some flossie babies there. I'm cer- tainly having one good time. Thanks for the eats. When are you coming? | Bring my- blue bathing suit and the | hand ball I asked for. It's swimming time. Hot doggles. It would seem to me that a boy in his | early teens ought to have been so trained in the use of his own tongue that such an effusion would make him i1l. But many and many a hopeful | young camper sends that letter home | every mail time. | If there is such a tendency in your | family combat it. Play games that use words, and increase language. Ana- were unanimous in declaring it to be “Uncle Tom's Cabin.” i grams; cross word pu: NOW... full strength full flavor in your coffee les; relay storv | Belt Tee Holder Slips over the belt. Made of genuine Morocco leather with individual name stamped in gold on the back. Equipped with _indestructible, TME TEES of finest cellu- loid in assorted colors. 4 plendid it e Milady gnifer soe- Slips in purse or on strap of golf| PRICE $1.00—Stamps Accepted Delivered free. Order direct from this advertisement GOLF TEE COMPANY Dept. 000 AMSTERDAM, N. Y New delivery service eliminates storage = puts this coffee in your gracer’s store the very week it is roasted OU’VE never tasted such colfee! 1t’s a really fine blend which has been a delight to discriminating coffee lovers for sixty-five years. 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