Evening Star Newspaper, April 7, 1929, Page 93

Back in Municipalville, Leading Citizens and a Brass Band Give Him Foretaste of Sensation He Will Create in Con- gress—Legislative Coups All Arranged in Advance. He Now Hopes Some Day to Meet the Speaker and May Be Able to Do Something for Home Town. BY THORNTON FISHER. HE long, low, red brick, structural monstrosity, known as the Municipalville depot trembled and shuddered, this Spring day, as a seething tide of citizens descended on the antiquated platform that ran from the freight office to converging tracks M at the far end. Main street, v)hich led to the station, was guyli\!l from the murky-looking buildings that flanked ti festooned, and e thoroughfare flags and colors waved their folds violently, as though they sensed the impressiveness of the occasion, Ten citizens had been deputized as extra police to guide traffic and otherwise resist the chaos which threatened the customary order of the county seat. All morning crowds had been flowing into Main street and mov- ing in the direction of the tracks. Municipalville’s brass band, under the baton of Prof. Schmalz, stood at the east end of the latform and waited the big moment—the biggest moment, indeed, that had ever graced the history of the town. ‘There were no strangers in Munici- palville to whom no ope spoke. All the folks were neighbors, and the spirit of camaraderie blossomed to full flower as the men conversed and women chat- tered. Here and there small children gazed upon the scene utterly bewildered and uncomprehending. At least 3,000 people stormed the area restricted to switch engines, in- gglem youths and travelers. Even old T, agent, man and boy for 40 years, locked the telegraph key and joined his neigh- bors on the platform. Such a day had never been ex- perienced in the more or less seques- tered environs of Municipalville, sit- uated in the third congressional dis- trict. It had all happened like this: Amos Snagg was Municipalville’s lead- ing legal luminary and had served four | terms as county prosecutor. He was also a member of the board of public charities and innumerable other activi- ties for the alleviation of distress. As past grand poobah of the largest and most influential fraternal organization in town he had won the esteem and confidence of the community, particu- larly that part which never let the weather interfere with voting. Josiah Quigg, who was a resident of Municipalville, had been the chief com- petitor for town honors, having repre- sented the third district for two years. It seems, according to reports, that he was either unable or unwilling to in- duce Congress to appropriate a suffi- cient amount of money to erect a new post office building in Municipalville. Moreover, it was whispered that he had voted against the poultry producers’ bill. Public-spirited residents of the third district made the welkin ring and protested against returning Mr. Quigg to Congress, but this did not deter that gentleman from making an earnest endeavor to hold on to his quarters in the House Office Building, where he could look out on the glory that is Washington. In fact, his office offered an unobstructed view of the Capitol, and besides he liked the House Testaurant. Mr, Qul{g determined to wage & campaign at would not only result in his re-election, but rout opposition for all time. Amos Snagg was the poultry raisers’ friend and enthusiasti- cally advocated a new post office on Main street facing Soldiers’ Park. No more worthy opponent, therefore, drew rapiers than Snagg and Quigg. The third district never enjoyed it- self more than during the campaign that followed. There were radio de- bates and public meetings and such goings-on that it was positively scanda- lous. Mr. Quigg called Mr. Snagg sev- eral kinds of a “wash-out,” and Mr. Snagg replied in heat that Mr. Quigg had better stay home and take care of his law and notary work, the latter, according to Mr. Snagg, being most profitable to Mr. Quigg. At any rate, when the ballots were counted on elec- tion night it was plain that Amos Snagg had dispatched his adversary by enough votes to insure his election. ‘Thus we arrive at the momentous epi- sode about to be related. *p THE crowd about the depot was orderly if impatient. Heads turned toward Main street expectantly. Sud- cenly there was a murmur which as- cended to a roar of voices. Prof. Schmalz tapped twice with his baton for attention. Two blocks away there was a wild cheer. They were coming! Flags mounted on slowly moving autos signified the approach of the congressional party, at sight of which the racket kept apace of the leading car bearing Municipalville's distin- guished citizen, the Hon. Amos Snagg. Prof. Schmalz raised his baton as the party neared the station, and, at & given signal, the band burst into the strains, “Hail, the Conquering Hero Comes!” Flags were waved and oh, such excitement! Fathers raised the children to their shoulders, and the women peered inquisitively at Mrs. Snagg, who proudly sat with her hus- band and beamed upon her old friends and neighbors. Mrs. Congressman Snagg! Soon she would be enveloped in the social gayeties of the Nation's Capital, enter- taining and entertained by world- famous figures; What a moment for Mrs. Snagg and Municipalville! Oh, yes, there were the two Snagg daughters! One of them, the younger, carried a bunch of posies and a canary- bird cage. The elder, Miss Snagg, prob- ably would snare a diplomat and have & coming-out party, although there Gleason, who had been station | were those who observed that she should have come out long ago. The committee in charge had asked Mr. Snagg to sit on the aatomobile top a la Lindbergh, but the Hon. Snagg discreetly refused. and sat with Mrs, Snagg and the chairman of the com- mittee on the rear seat. His soft black hat had not been pressed to his head since he had left the homestead out on Maple street. In the meantime, Pref. Schmalz’s band boys were doing themselves proud, and played the fifth verse of “Hail, the Conquering Hero Comes!” The crowd was still shouting. As the congressional party reached the platform, each member was greeted by the town's leading citizens, who wished them success and the presidency some day. Municipalville was the end of the rail- road line. Trains started from there or concluded their journey at Municipal- ville. The chairman in charge of the committee on trains had arranged for the cars to be backed in front of the depot in order that the Snaggses might ascend to the rear platform to receive an ovation from the citizens. Prof. Schmalz now swung into “Amer- ica,” and how the boys did play! its conclusion Mr. Merkle, the chairman in charge of farewell speeches, climbed to the car platform and stopd beside the Hon. Snagg and raised his hand for silence. “Why, fellow citizens,” said he, im- pressively, “a signal honor has been conferred, not only upon this, the third congress-s-s-sional district, but upon the Nation. Municipalville is sending to the high counsels of our country a dis- tinguished son, whose luster will ever glow in the hearts of his fellow patriots. | ps 1 GraE > 7 Y %, “CHEERS FROM THE HOUSE.” At | | Directory, and the biography that ac- weal of our great land. The third con- gressional district and Municipalville say farewell.” (Applause from the home folks.) * ok ok Kk 'R BABSON and the Century Glee Club moved to the car steps and sang, “I Heard a Thrush at Ev'ntide,” Gil Houser's bass predominating. Two local camera men clambered to the roof of the depot as Mr. Snagg re- moved his hat and addressed his compatriots. “My fellow citizens and neighbors,” he began, “the words of your chair- man have touched me deeply. (Ap- plause.) faces of old friends, those who made possible our victory last November: (Applause.) Today begins a new chap- ter in my life and the lives of those near and dear {o me. “I am very like the fellow who fell from the roof of a skyscraper. As he passed the thirty-third story, he ex- claimed, ‘Well, everything'’s O. K. so far’ (Laughter.) As your representa- tive in Congress, I pledge to keep the faith you have reposed in me, and to contribute my humble talents to the well being of our people. (Applause.) Let me say in conclusion that the latch on our door will be on the outsid* and we will welcome you at Washington. (Prolonged applause.) I bid you fare- well.” Several women wept. Up forward there was a shrill toot from the engine. Mr. Merkle shook hands with the Snagg family. Prof. Schmalz began “Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot,” accom- panied by the Glee Club, and the train started to move slowly from the station. The cheering was repressed as the crowd waved handkerchiefs and flags. ‘The Snaggs remained on the platform until they became invisible. Municipal- ville had sent its famous son away. Slowly the citizens wended their way homeward, each declaring that the Hon. Snagg would focus the eyes of the world on the old home town. Let us now follow Mr. and Mrs, Snagg and the young Snaggs. It was with a sigh of relief that Amos entered the car with his family. Already he had ac- quired a congressional look. He had never been in Washington. In fact only once had he been as far East as Pitts- burgh, and that was the occasionaof & national fraternal convention. As the train sped on its way, Amos visioned his name in the Congressional ON YONDER MAJESTIC EMBLEM OF OUR. GLORIOUS NATION, | AM PROFOUNDLY STIRRED - companied it. He knew it by heart for “We are proud, indeed, today of him whom we have all called friend and neighbor. Proud of his achievements and of his ascent to those halls in which the eloquence of the ages has echoed down the corridors and rever- berated from the rock-ribbed coast of hglne to the golden slopes of the Pa- cific. “As the mantle of night draws near our illustrious neighbor will gaze out of nder window on the crimson sunset, e will commune with the stars in the blue sky above and in the glory of his new fame see therein the colors of the flag of our Nation. ““Mr. Snagg, on behalf of Municipal- ville and its loyal citizens, I bid you Godspeed on your epochal journey. May the might of ‘your intellect and the elo- quence of your voice contribute to the SNAGG FROM LA . IM CONGRESSMAN THE THIRD DISTRICTE “NR, SNAGG INQUIRED THE WAY TO THE HOUSE OFFICE BUILDING® - he had carefully prepared it. It read: “Amos Snagg, Republocrat, of Munici- palville, Quincy County, born Septem- ber 16, 1879; lawyer; graduated from Municipalville public schools and Out- land College. Was city solicitor for two terms and county attorney for four terms; married Miss Mary Sprouts in 1894 and has two daughters, Beulah and Julia.” There wasn’t any more he could say for himself, as his activities ihul been confined locally. % * ok x % It had been a hectic day for the Snagg family, Mrs, Snagg, as a result of the excitement, was fatigued, but the = \! ||I|““\“\“\mm m Snagg, M. C.,Dreams of Throngs Which Will Greet Him in Capita A YN LR 1 LI DS T RO RN “PROF. SCHMALZ BEGAN ‘SHOULD AULD ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT, ACCOMPANIED BY THE GLEE CLUB.” social asperations, gazed unseeingly through the windows, while little Julia poked her finger at the Snagg canary. “Congressman,” exclaimed the jovial conductor, who had known Mr. Snagg whe;\ he was a mere citizen, “How are you?” Mr. Snagg replied that he never felt better in his life. Curiously enough, he had never noticed how tight his hat band felt. For the first time, Amos Snagg began profoundly to ponder on the responsibilitiés of the high office to which he had been elected. He would represent 200,000 citizens of his district. He possessed an adequate knowledge of their needs and was familiar with every town and cross-road in his territory. One of the very first things he would do when he arrived in Washington would be to rise on the floor of Con- gress and demand a new post office for Municipalville. The speech would be printed in the Congressional Record and distributed to his constituents back home. His maiden effort would bring the House to its feet and an ovation from the galleries. The next day, the world at its breakfast table would in- quire, “Who is this flery Congressman Snagg?” Next he would direct his attention to & bill proposing the construction of a dam in the Cutshaw River on the out- skirts of Municipalville. Then there was the plight of the poultry raisers in the third district. Something should and would be done for their immediate relief. Quigg had failed them, but Snagg would crash a bill through the House; it would be approved by the Senate, and the President would sign it in a couple of weeks. It was getting dark. The train was rushing on through the twilight. Mr. Snagg did not notice the crimson sun- set or commune with the stars, for he was dozing. As he dozed he dream- ed a dream. The galleries were pack- ed. The Honorable Nicholas Long- worth was on the rostrum and mem- bers sat in attentive silence. Mr. Snagg arose. Slowly his eyes apprais- ed the House and then he spoke: “Mr. Speaker and gentlemen of the Congress: As I gaze on yonder majestic emblem of our glorious nation, my eyes behold her vast wealth and untold re- sources, I am profoundly stirred (Ap- plause from the gallery). We are a rich country, our mineral deposits for the year 1928 alone aggregating the colossal sum of $3,998,867,659.77 (Ap- plause from the press gallery). We ex- pend millions for our valiant Army and Navy and distribute not a cent of tri- bute (Applause by Republican mem- bers). We are the world's greatest creditor. We are the first to succor those in distress, aye, first in peace, members). ‘To the shackled we offer liberty; to the free we contribute op- portunity (Applause from the Speaker). And yet, gentlemen of the Congress, with all our benificence, notwithstand- ing our wealth, and despite our great open national heart and purse, we have failed to construct adequate sized post- offices (Applause by the pages and ushers). “Can we point with pride to the di ful looking structures in our American cities and exclaim to the world ‘This—this is a manifestation of our national opulence?” The answer thunders, ‘No.' Gentlemen, I tell you, our children and our children’s child- ren will rise to level the fingers of acorn at us and denounce us as traitors to our oath. “In my own city of Municipalville, our post-office building is an eyesore in the community. For thirty years it has been assailed by mighty gales; for three decades it has bared its weather- beaten shingles to the merciless storms. Its beams and pillars are suffering the ravages of decay and dissolution. As the representative of the glorious and intellectual citizenry of Mundcipalville, I demand that Congress erect on Main street a structure commensurate with the importance of the great city of Municipalville (Cries of ‘Hear! Hear!’). I therefore—" * ok k% AT this point Amos Snagg was rudely awakened by the porter asking, “Is you-all changing cars here in Chicago?” Mr. Snagg cherished his dream as he alighted from the train, followed by Mrs. Snagg and the Misses Snagg. In the meantime, Mrs. Snagg had been do- she had dropped in to see Mrs. Hoover. Beulah had an engagement to go to the movies with the first secretary of the Patagonian legation, and it was be- ing whispered about in congressional circles that their troth would soon be plighted. Some said blighted. Already Mrs. Snagg was writing letters to friends in Municipalville about her visits with the Pirst Lady of the Land. “Mrs. Hoover has arranged everything in the White House so comfy and home- like, and she said to me only yesterday, ‘Mrs. Snagg, or shall I call you Mary (I do like the intimacy of first names), it is so lovely to have you drop in and take potluck with us.’” The elder Miss Snagg was likewise dreaming. That handsome young gen- eral was crazy about her, but somehow she could only sense & platonic friend- ship for him. She said to her mother, “I like_that dashing young admiral—I mean I really, actually do. He is so swank in his dress uniform. And a Navy wedding, Mamma, is the bee's Our ears are attuned to the clarion | knees. cry of those who seek our protecting bosom (applause from the Democratic ‘Tiny Julia was too tired to be both- ered. She and the canary bird were MARKETING 'HE widespread growth of the co- pe operative market movement among farmers was emphasized in a recent ad- BY FARMERS the powerful Dairymen’s League was formed which expanded until it had nearly 100,000 members. ‘With the supply fairly well cornered, dress of Chris L. Christensen, economist of the United States Department of Ag- riculture, in which he pointed out the value of group action to the farmer. ‘The growth of the co-operative has been a gradual thing, starting some 50 these farmers insisted upon a greater price for their milk, a price which would compensate them for their labor .and investment. The dealers demurred at paying more and the first “milk strike” occurred. The results were years ago and advancing steadily until somewhat disappointing to the farmer, about 10 years ago, when the co-opera- tive buying and selling by farmers be- came a fairly generally accomplished practice. With the advance of the co- operative, the movement reached a who was forced to curtail the feed to his cattle and naturally to dry off the supply of milk. This strike lasted for 19 days and by that time the herds had anticipation of honors to come lroul:?’ her from the lethargy usually induct by the monotony of train riding. The elder Snagg daughter, spirited with point where still greater steps are be- ing taken and the co-operatives are now consolidating into supergroups, protect- been so tapered off in production that it was impossible to stimulate them to their former yield. ing the farmers’ inte: . The new movement is divided into two classes, the federation and the cen- tralized large-scale association. ‘This e: taught the farmers a bitter u-onw::‘: th:; began gradually to build to meet a similar emergency they should face & test of Christensen cited the federation of co-operative creameries in Minnt and Wisconsin. There are 25 co-operative live stock commisslon agencies, operating in 19 centralized markets, Mr, Christensen pointed out, and this year they are ex- pected to handle live stock valued at $290,000,000. In California 220 local packing-house units are consolidated into the Califor- nia Pruit Growers’ Exchange, which acts as a selling and distributing agency, and 16 large-scale cotton marketing agen- cles, which are establishing local units and becoming more nearly like federa~ tions. The importance of the co-operatives to the farmer has become more and more apparent as the farmer turns from 2 Mr, 450 | strength. v ing o little personal dreaming. Already | fast asleep as the train sped on through the night. Long before dawn Mr. Snagg became restless. He tried the expedient of counting telegraph poles, but was un- able to regain unconsciousness. The National Capital was but a few hours away -now. He would soon be at the scene of his future triumphs, Washing- ton! Magic word, magic Capital! Mr. Snagg rose from his bed and went to the washroom. The colored porter was the sole occupant and he was soundly snoring. Mr. Snagg de- cided to look his congressional best when he arrived in Washington. The Cepital’s first glimpse of him should be agreeable, if not impressive. The cam- eramen from the newspapers would be on hand and the reporters would “dog” him. He would greet them affably. What bills did Mr. Snagg have in REGARDING THE DERT SETTLEMENT MR- SNAGG 2 “GREETED BY NEWSPAPER MEN Mr. Longworth, who came to the sta- tion to greet you.” Click, elick. “Don’t push, boys, you'll all get a chance to take the congressman's picture. A nice title will be, ‘Speaker Longworth greets the Honorable Amos Snagg at Union Station. From left to right, Miss Beu- lah Snagg, little Julia Snagg, Speaker Longworth, and Mrs. Snagg.” has just arrived and plays “The Star| Spangied Banner.” Representatives of the diplomatic corps now approach and welcome the Snaggs.” * % ¥ % Y this time Mrs. Snagg has awak- | & ened, if indeed she even slept, and concerns herself about what gown she will wear. She decides to don the AND THE DIPLOMATIC COar>.- mind? Would he go into eonsultation with the President at once or wait until he was settled? What was Mr. Snagg’s favorite slogan of success? Did he wish to make any statement to the press re- garding his views on the foreign debts? And he would answer: “Well, boys, until I have had a talk with the President, I have nothing to say. Anything that is said must come from the President’s spokesman. Our country is on the verge, I may say on the very threshold, of an astonishing prosperity. The throb of industry is re- verberating throughout our great and glorious land. I shall have more to say on this subject next Wednesday week on the floor of Congress.” Pencils scratch frantically across note books and envelopes.* The ask the Snaggs to pose. Will Congress. man Snagg hold the canary cage? mxc& S5poiog higher prices, _Any tncreate op] r prices. y increase ted the farmer would of necessity passed on to the inhabitants of the mmofolls and a picture of the suffer- ing of the poorer classes, if the cost of the essential milk were increased, was presented to the er. The farmer is a generous and kindly individual as a rule and this argument had its weight. It became mnecessary to find some way of added profit without too great an increase of cost, so the farmers’ next did away with the big problem produs ‘This ction that militated a of the click. “Now please shake hands wif THE PRESIDENT WISH THE HONORABLE MR. SNAGG TO JOIN HIM brown one with the pleats. She had it made especially for Washington use, and when her photograph is published in the Municipalville Leader the folks back home will see that she is en rap- port with the fashions. What an epochal day for the Snaggs! Having breakfasted, the Snaggs turn to the Pullman to walt as pa- tiently as possible their arrival. The luggage is piled in s heap. looks at his watch. Mrs. Snagg is rest- less. She wishes the ordeal over with. She is beginning to suffer the penalties of greatness. After all, how futile it is! -Would that she could return to the sweet and delightful obscurity of Mu- nicipalville! Oh, no, not at all! — & lnow enters and begins to pick up the luggage. “Yassah,” he says, “we'll be there in a few minutes, sah.” ‘The train is moving more slowly and ES FOR- DINNER AT™ THE WHITE HOUSE the sheds are just ahead. Mr. Snagg clears his throat. He hopes that the crowd will not become unmanageable in the station. Mrs. Snagg and Beulah dash a final dab of powder on their noses. The train stops. Mr. Snagg steps imposingly from the platform, followed by his family. “Carry your baggage, boss?” says an obsequious redcap. Mr. Snagg nods and leads the way to the concourse. Six persons are standing at the gate wav- ing. Mr. Snagg waves back. He is rather embarrassed at the discovery that they were signaling other passen- ers. “Taking a taxi, boss?” inquires the attentive redcap. “No,” replies Mr. Snagg in a pecu- liar_tome. ‘They enter the waiting room. Little Julia notes a soda fountain and cries for a drink. Mr. Snagg, joined by his entourage, takes Julla to the counter, where the soda jerker is waiting on a lady customer. “Young man, where is the House Office Building?” asks Mr. Snagg. ‘The young man is drying the counter. “I said where is the House Office Building?” persists Mr. Snagg. ‘The youth flicks a stray thread from | his shoulder. Mr. Snagg is visibly perturbed, and says: “I'm Congressman Snagg of the | third district.” “Oh, yeah,” said the soda jerker. “What did you say, lady—a chocolate sundae or a strawberry soda?” * ¥ ok x LITTLE Julia downs her soda and the |~ youth directs Mr. Snagg to the | House Office Building. It's strange that |no one met them. Mr. Snagg is sud- | denly staggered by the possibility that they arrived earlier than anticipated. Perhaps they had better wait a while. | If the committee on receptions and ar- rangements were to come and find them ‘I;one, it would be mortifying, to say the least. The Snagg family find seats on a bench and wait for half an hour. Oc- | casionally Mr. Snagg goes outside to | reconnoiter. Ahead of him he sees the | Capitol. It is bigger than he thought. Tiring of waiting, Mr. Snagg hails a taxi and the family is driven to a hotel | some one mentioned to him. At the | desk he signs the register, “Amos Snagg, M. C, and family.” The clerk is not impressed and casu- ally inquires if Mr. Snagg wants two ::1 g:hm outside rooms and bath or a ‘Where are the reporters and camera- men? Merely taking pictures of the latest rum-running car accident. ‘The next morning Mr. Snagg decides to visit the Capitol. He pauses be- neath the dome for a few moments and regards the height with considerable emotion. He feels unusually small in | the place. A uniformed man directs him to the House side, and Mr. Snagg walks to- ward the halls of his coming triumphs. | He halts before a closed door, by the side of which a kindly old man sits. Mr. Snagg | “Do you want to see somebody?” the elderly gentleman asks. | “Oh, no,” responds Mr. Snagg. “I'm E:h‘e‘new member from the third dis- rict.” | “Oh, yes?” says the aged sentinel of | the gates. | Amos Snagg mow has a nice office J overlooking .the court in the House Building and a lovely secretary. So far he has made no speeches and has not agitated a bigger and better post office building for Municipalville. He expects to meet the Speaker of the House some day, and in the meantime is wondering why he hasn't even been assigned to a c)mmittee so far. VES, MRS. HOOVER TOLD ME AT LUNCH THAT HE ‘WAS ANXIOUS TO ‘GET YOUR ADVICE=