Evening Star Newspaper, August 9, 1925, Page 67

THE SUNDAY STAR, WASHINGTON, D. C, AUGUST 9, 1925—PART (5] “Mother’s Coming to Visit” Time and Labor Spent in Preparation for the Event Are Later Found to Have Been Wasted, When She Finally Becomes “One of the Family.” BY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM. BELIEVE wheére Bismarck, the inventor of that great Nat'l Ger man dish, the Pickled Herrin; onct wrote in Queen Victoria's Guest Book, “Mother dear moth er, come home with me now, the clock in'the Cafe strikes two!” I don’t know the rest of the piece, but I guess it shows that mother thought three strikes meant out 5 And only the other day T and George, that's my husband, had good reason to wonder over how little times has changed since them great lines was written back in the days when every laudy was a little island com plately surrounded by whoop skirts. Well anyways, “the subject come up when for the first time in yrs. G mother writ and said she was coming to visit us if it was convenient. Con venient for who wasn't entioned. | lh' t .\‘(u' m of been speaking for Well, naturally I am not afraid of anybody’s mother, on account I am as good a housekeeper as she ever Aas. Also, she would neve talk to| Geo. about me behind my back, I| know she woulfin't, on account I wasn't gonner turn my back for her to talk behind. And if she was to try and interfere with the way 1 was rals- ing Junior, weil, all 1 would haf tg in that case was, take zood look | at vour ( e s he Ay | she would aly shut up. when mentioned where had this e fr his mother didn’t raise no objections. I mer says well it's pwful inconvenient, I| &0t « terrible 1ot of things to do this coming week, I can't stay home look Ing after no mothersin-law, 1 suppose she will expect 1 should t her S i iRy around evervwhere, but George I 1 says now darling, that is ex can't. why v e going to discuss |actly what you ain’t to ask her when Bables ¢ ign she gets here. And Junior says then pext r lub meeting, for a! what's she coming for? And I says sample, and 1 suppose she'd be | heavens only knows, to see Daddy, I shocked to death, T s awful in- | Suppose. And Jr. savs that's funny considerate of vou to have here| And I says you don't know the half Just now, bu ady | of it dear. but I want you to be mam started, why can't be|ma’s good little boy and wash your helped ears every day, and don't forget your That was 1, see, on |manners, and you ain't to answer me Scbolnt T e .| back, no matter what T say, all the Rt iCee got [ ime’ she’s here. And 1 want you F¥io' e was | hould be quiet in the house and not DRty oot o far as he | Whistle through vour teeth or throw vs downstairs | is a old lady, see | your t on account she and she will wanner And above all de remember We I am de lighted to have all that, | be quiet 1t you use Batot oo & bick out | no slang, T want you should speak the Sunday I Too Bl whs | correct and refined, like I've learned teamed up to play in the Open and | ¥OU Shut Golf Championship on the Haw- | 1 Jr. says aw, can't 1 have no ive, T guess | fun while she's here? And I says no t e to can the golf and | certainly not, we ain't none of us o, T thought T and | sonner have any! 1vy handi ..ri T I s MAVE: |\ TELL, after that 1 explained to our | dog where he wasn't to do any I says, that will do SHINGLE-BOBBED.” is anything T can do to help you lemme know if you ean eatch m got a new tab you can bo 1 over nd I also got some arsenic and rat | Jules, Sr. seen me in that get-up, I poison if you need it, and s felt sure she would undoubtedly at crutches. And T hear Doctor Sa once realize her boy had picked a | has a nice new ambulance in case she | girl she had no cause to be jealous likes motoring. I suppose she is Kindu | of old and feeble” And I says ves, from [ Well anyways, I put this % mourn- the way Geo. tells about how she ing on the day she was expected stands for all the old ideas and sits on | Then T ight’ Junfor and washed all the new ones. I guess she must|him up, wishing he had a few curls be a hundred it least |and a lace collar. But it was too ell, if I can p or my And Mabel savs, vou a little serubbf silver or somethinz to make house a little brighter, why try get them, dear, ! now I says thanks, dear, T will we hung .. of course my house was per A\ fectly good like it had been fo the past few yrs. But still and al when I thought of that drear old lady coming to visit us, I felt well, T don't nothing gh house cleanir want to pick on, so we done a thoro to give her “SOMETHING I‘['\l) '_TL'RNED MA'S HAIR BLACK OVERNIGHT, AND HER DRE! t | particular |in his button hole. S HAD RECENTLY BEEN mother-in-law couldn’t t garment had anything fast cept the color. When Mrs. claim about it e late in the game for that now, I had- der content myself with getting his k less rough and pinning a daisy And then we all set ourselves down to be caught un- at our innocent, ordinary ires | occupations, see, Junior learning his |text for Sunday, Geo. reading his | duily dozen lines from Shakespeare. and me working on a sock to sock | | | | | | preserves heathen with in foreign lands. e W didn't know just exactly what train the old lady was coming on, and so we hadda keep them natural Doses up for pretty near two hours before a taxi stopped in front of our house. And then it wasn't the right taxi, on account a little girl got out At that was what I thought first off. from the length of the skirt and the bobbed hair, as she was car- rying her snappy little hat in her hand. But it wasn't any little girl, unless a person was to count second childhood. It was Mrs. Jules, sr., as she explained while running gaily up the steps to greet us. Something had turned Ma's hair black overnight, and her dress had re ently been shingle bobbed She had brought us a bunch of new dance rerords instead of some stic like T had feared. She said “darn it'" right in front of Junior, which is as close as she ever come to using George's sewing basket, and the first thing she want ed when I got her upstairs into what she called “such a quaint, funny little room, old dear,” was to know where was the nearest beauty parlor, she wanted a facial, and did 1 have a lip stick 1 could loan her, she had lost hers on the train Well, when 1 left weakly downstairs, her and went there was Geo. | waiting for me in the hall, all excited v barking while Mother Jules was with | pourt ew new pieces of furniture »od, what are gonner do |us, and how. if he had any fleas, he ',,f]‘,’,fi'(’.f,”‘,',,“,,v:‘nn,‘ D e for her? | was to keep them to hisself. And|lanced the spare room. And he says well, it will be mother's | then T caught the cat and told it to cut | “Oh acequnt of the way-in which birthday when she b and Iiout that nightlife stuft-as 1ong as|cGeo. had often told me in the old have ordered her a r present, he{mother ‘stayed, T aidn’t want Mrs, |qaoz T30 TR 00 Ll His mother says, it a real handsome sewing |Jules to think fll of any member of | Slvave made her own clothes, and basket with thimbles and etc. in it |our household. And by this time I |fLLAYS M S it 2 hare ready to start repairs, he says. And {paq myself all worked up to a pome | LOW She went R and 1ean aturally that cheered me up a little | = 1 | face even in Winter, and read the el cared e & here I felt real sentimental about | SUIE Biis DA woc Akbes) on the 8 I says fine dear, t e { the d lady, and could just plctu ““‘. ‘:'l = ”- g ol g 1 b or ful | how sweet and devoted I was gonner | C2rPet, and etc. why I fixed up her says George, you know moth- | ot S S5 Eony 20051, e al My 1 lhn‘ugh( \\nuln: er is kinda conservative, and while [PS00BER L) on|make her perfectly comfortable. understand see I says why,|*"3 53 et “'}“‘{1' :‘1’5"‘:, _“;"‘(“r' you |head on while laying plans to inter- the v to not alone | ot Ry O ey U| fere in my household, and took thre have the o ‘ovan ftor| EUCH. GETERS BHITEE S yor | red plush chairs, a horse hair rocker hat wom own personal | thing, will she stay long? And |Bnd & marble top table off the second face as w | T"%ys T dunno, I'm afrald so, of |hand furniture store down to our cor ways. I have aiways told you so, can't {Rave har, but it would of been. 4 litte edleen & s 1 hung it over o O e e a0 |t off 10 & year from some Xmas. e 8 “Rest In} I says ves, I can if she can! And Mabel says you poor darling. I| "“5¢™ jyrse 1 wouldn't go to mo e e | know how it in, Jov's mother is the| Of course I wonlnt eo to no Hows 10 Ar.fe Gooch; tlietiady ausi. || gentest cworsyi in e worin snalx [ISXIEaTIONDES IOR0NL S8 (BRI R Ity wh kad tied up i the iitohan. . | 96t love weitine S Toug Jetan-—shia |1 BSIUER LEC (o have o roem oo oW A I says, it's an awful |longer it takes them 3 reach her, the | MOWIG ke 6 Say 1 and keer Dty b mothes 1a comin a | better, whatter you Yoing to do to|© e e R I stay long. And, I says, I hope you [mavbe she plays a good game of Old | ner Bible through her stect rimimnec will be patient with ¥ vou know | Maid from the way Geo. has described [Specs by the rvoseate fading lsht how them old ladies are. they love to | her. I expect she’d enjoy a little ride; 0f day that was symbolic of her come out in the kitchen and make |down to the cemetery, I don’t mean |life. Hot Bozo, If you get m things, but don't you mind, I'll clean |to stay, T mean to look at the other | Well If Geo's Ma was one of up after her. Of course we will be de- | People’s tombstones. |them terribly good women like he D e e T e e gc |"“Aha Matel says well, Jos's mother | sa1d, naturally T didn’t dare to_be e 1 e e e e ois' | don't care for & thing but changing | well dressed when she arrived. Not ing you orders, wh just come to | my furniture around, I suppose you | that I cared a hoot what she thought me before vou see the railway ticket.|will get vour house all upset? And|one way of another, but I wasn't office agent, and I'll drag her out in|I says by no means d I am not | gonner have her tell my husband her wheel chair or something | going to make company of her, not | why did he marry this chorus per- And Annfe says veh, mebbe {one particle, she has got to take us|son? Or any remarks of that effect. 80 having thoroughly unsettied that | just as we are in every way, I can't | Often it is better to forestall than to I got ahold of our ¢ and give |be bothered to put myself out. And |stall, and so I dug out the long black him a serious talkin Now Junior, | Mabel says that's right, dear, be your-|dress I generally keep in case some- indma is coming for a visit | self, and she'll feel more at home— |body was to die and I would haf to vou should be a very good |as soon as she get's back there. And |go to the funeral Junior says what will she [I says yeh, I am hoping so. Nobody I knew hadn't died in | And Mabel s well dear, if there pretty near five 3 S. now, so the most but not in the least bit surprised. Say Jennle, ain’t Ma a knockout he says, didn’t I tell you you'd like her? So perfectly natural and a real pal to a (('liher. he says, just like I've always sa. For a moment 1 couldn't hardly speak. And then 1 says well George Jules, T guess the old fashioned apron- | ed mother don’t exist any more except on calendar illustrations. 1 guess they went out with a lot of other obso- lete inconveniences. And thank hea: ens for it, on account mother love it. self can't be destroved by pretty clothes, and what a relief to all to have our mothers become one of the family.” (Copyright, 19! Modern Crime, With Its Permanent Wave, Stirs Original Ideas on Way to Stop It BY SAM HELLMAN to me,” I remarks to Finnegan, “that | eems “High Dome" (14 they is a regular epidemic of | guys bumping theirselves off d bum other bimbos off these days sin’'t hardly any thing in the s but murd suicides “That's ri es back Finne. gan, “and x it's gonna get worse instead of better.” “What's the reason?” I inquires. | “Times ain’t so bad, nobody's starv- ing and o ’ “Business de fon,” cuts in “High Don in't got much to ‘do P & with crime waves, even if you think | — 80 or because you think so. | “What has?” I inquires, sarcastic. | “The price of fish gills in Yonkers?" “Bum_h for one thing,” re turns Finnegan, “crowding in the | azz, automobiles and the bum been made out of home lie the ew years. The bum hooch T can understand,” stuff with ay. 1 ain't buggies has rhade murder and rob- getting away with his beries much easier than they used to What for other nearby States and buy yourself an arsenal? If you're too lazy to step says I, “but where do automobiles, for | instance, come in? 1 “The come in str 1 of all”| answers “‘High Dome “If it wasn't | for the buzz buggies half of them | bank and jewelry shop jobs that is | | being pulled off ne every day | couldn’t be worked. Its a cinch for | a dip to drive up the main street of | Y a burg these days, let the engine run, % dash into a stor bump off the owner - 24 and beat it out to the machine with | R—— Z & tray of rocks or the insides of the | “YOU COULDN'T DO THAT WITH A HORSE AND BUGGY.” cash register. uldn’t do that |~ S 52 41 — — e — hesien with a horse “Too bad,” says I. “but I guess we| ‘“Don’t make me laugh,” says Finne- “Jess remarks, “did it |can't cut out automobiles just be-|gan “I'm in mourning." with | cause crooks is usin’ "em.” e “Yeh," returns Finnegan, “but he | “Nope,” agrees Finnegan, “nomore'n| Mourning?" I repeats. @dn't do 1& on Broadway or State|we can cut out razors because some| “Your brains,” replies “High Dome street. The more crowded the street|use 'em to win arguments with, but [“What good's that law in New York the better the chance a thief has of | the fact remains that the benzine |when you can drift over to Jersey or | fast oil can for the get- ssying nothing about the other kind (be, and the more we get of them in of crimes that automobiles respon- | this country the more front-page crime sible for, but it’s a cinch they've made |stuff the papers is going to have.” the stick-up game popular. “They got automobiles fn London k an;rl\':- S ain't they?" T comen back. ¢¢'THIS cutting out the sale of guns,” “Why ha the crime rate gone up I remarks, “don’t seem to have in those dumps?” pulled down the shooting average. “Them gun-toting laws is the bunk,” * HEx X “Becau: explains “High Dome,"” 1 aws | n ““ther: more automobiles parked | growls “High Dome.” “They ain't a around Times Square at noon time |bloke in the country with as much as thirty cents in his pocket that can’t than they is altogether in Paris and 3 Tondon. Over here about one zuy in |grab himself a gat. = every four's got a machine; over there “Not in New York, it's probably about-one in a.hundred,” “They’re pretty strict there, 1 returns. out for one, all yom got to do is to mail a few lines and there’s at least eighty-six concerns that'll ship you a gat _in the next post. No anti-gun law'll be worth a hoot until all the States and the Government puts one across, and then it won’t be worth any- thing. You can bootleg revolvers as well as hooch, but it isn't guns or au- tomobiles that's the big push in back of the crime and suicide wave.” “Go on,” I urges. “My ears ain't particular what they hear.” “It's the crowding in_ the citles,” continues Finnegan, “and the speedy, way the voungsters are living these days. If the big towns in the United States weren't so cuckoo about mak- ing a showing in the census, they wouldn't be nearly the amount of crime there is_to but with every yokel in the Nation heading for New York, Chicago and the other big burgs, what chance is the coppers got to keeping a line on the dips? Besides, the crowding makes it harder and harder for a guy to make a living. Some of 'em go in for second-story work and some go ‘home o cx A ot *. & A.?" T puzzles. “Carbolic acid,” returns “High Dome” briefly. “They ain't hardly a day when you don't read in the New York papers where some lad or frill's bumped himself or herself hence on account of having made a grand flop of crashing the big town. But it's the speed of the youngsters that's the worst thing in the situation today.” “How?"” T asks. I was forty vears old,” returns Fin- negan, “before I knew half as much of life as the average chick of sixteen knows today. By the time a city gal's eighteen in this jazz age she's been through every experience and sensa- tion that's in’the cards, and what the hell else is left but dope, crime and the grand.swing down the chutes. The same goes for the boys. By the time they're twenty-five or so they're all burned out and ready for the ash heap. That's why you hear of so many shootings and self-starting rides across the Styx these days. All night danc- ing and bum hooch inhaling just leaves a person a bunch of jumpy nerves and the first bad break they get rings down the curtain on them."” * oK ok ok “HOW you going to stop all this?" I inquires. “I ain't going to,” returns “High Dome,” “but I wouldn't be surprised if it stopped itself pretty soon. I got a idea that parents is gonna get back to the idea that they is kinda re- sponsible for their kids.” “Like heck they ar¢ I sniffs. “You gotto remember that the parents of tomorrow are going to be the folks that were the jazz babies yesterday.” * “That’s just why I got hopes,” re- turns Finnegan. “A couple that's been through the gin and jazz hurrah is more likely to know how rotten it is for their children than oldsters who don’t know anything about it. I never seen a heavy drinker yet that tried to A New Song of the Shirt Latest Principles of BY STEPHEN LEACOCK. HAT I narrate was told me one Winter's evening by my friend Ah-Yen in the little room behind his place of business. Ah-Yen is a quiet little Celestial with a grave and thoughtful face, and between us ex ists @ friendship of some years' stand ing. But of the keen, analytical side of his mind I was In entire ignorance until the evening of which 1 write. The room where we sat was small and dingy, and only one picture w in any way noticeable on the walls, a portrait admirably executed in pen and ink. The face was t of young man, a very beautiful face, but cne of infinite sadness. 1 had long been aware, although I know not how, that Ah-Yen had met with a great sor- row, and had in some way connected the fact with this portrait. I had always refrained, however, from ask ing him about it nd it was not until the evening in question that I knew its_history We had been moking in silence for some time when Ah-Yen spoke. My friend is & man of culture and wide reading and his English is conse quently perfect in its construction; his speech is, of course, marked by the lingering liquid accent of his country which I will not attempt to reproduce “I see,” he safd, “that vou have been examining the portrait my unhappy friend. Fifty-Six. 1 have never yet told you of my bereavement hut as tonight is the anniversary of of tor a_while Ah-Yen paused: I lighted my pipe afresh and nodded to him to show that I was listening “I do not know, what precise time my life. I could examining my books troubled to do so. | no more interest in any other of my customers—less, perhaps, since he never in the cour: ot our connection brought his cloth to me himself, but always sent them by a boy. “When 1 presently perceived that he was becoming one of my regular customers, 1 allotted to him his num he ity went on, “at ix came into but I have never Naturally I took Before lusions t ved me as to who and what he was long I had reached several con in regard to my unknown cl “The quality of his linen shc | that, if not rich, he was at any rate rly well off. I could see that he as a young man of regular Christian who went out into society this I could tell from his sending the same number of articles to the laundry, from his wash ing always coming on Saturday night and from the fact that he wore shirt about once a week. In dispo tion he was a modest, unassuming fel low, for his collars were only 2 inches high w life, certain extent s 5 o STARED at Ah-Yen in some naze. ment. The recent publication of a favorite mnovelist had rendered me ! familiar with the process of analytical reasoning, but I was prepared for no such revelations from my Eastern friend “When I first knew him.” Ah-Yen Fifty-Six was a student at went on, the university. This. of course, I did not know for some time. I in ferred it, however, in the course of time, from his absence from town dur |ing the four Summer months, and from the fact that during the time of the university examinations the cuffs of his shirts came to me covered with dates, formulas and propositions in geometry “I followed him with no little in By RING LARDNER O the Editor: Once in a while some lawyer or alienist in a murder trial gets up a new name for the form of insanity which the defendant is sup- posed to be blest with, like whatever it was that Mr. Delmas said Harry had and 20 vears later, the special brand to which the doctors give a title in the case of Nathan and Dickie out in old Chi. The names generally always seem to fit and further and more are very catchy sounding so that for months and months after- rds the boys that write the columns and draw the comical strips on news. papers uses them over and over with a fair chance of them being a wow This is all fair and bright as far as it goes, but the said lawyvers and doc tors should ought to be forced to christen a whole lot more varietias of nuttiness which is all different than each other but which is still running around anonymous to the confusion of the populi (people). T would per sonally undertake _this ~wholesale christening only for my lack of knowl- edge of the Latin language in gen, and medical turns in particuiar, so will content myself with merely giving a brief description of the vari- ous forms and asking whatever alien- ists and attorneys they may be amongst my readers to suggest official names for them. 1. All people and relatives of people who say or think that Dempsey is police dog. 2. All people and relatives of people who take thelr cars out on popular public highways on hot Sunday after- noons for the purpose of getting cool. Some of these people plead that Sun- day is the only day they can get off, but it is this writer's theory that they must be off all the week.. 3. All people and relatives of people who say or thing that Dempsey is afraid of Harry Wills. 4. All radio owners and their fam- ilies who turn on their machines at 11 a.m. and keep them running till 2 the next a.m. for the fear they will iss something. TS All race goers who take field glasses to the track and looking through them at the horses half a mile away thinks they can tell who is in second, third, fifth or any other osition. P0G, All people that pays $11.00 for a seat on the opening night of a revue when they know they can go a week later at one-half the price and see twice as good a show. 7. All motorists who uses their muf- fler cut out just to make a noise. 8. All people who constantly takes their brassey to get out of a huckle- his children to drink. Most of tt:lard:'e{ormers and church folks have been flops in turning the tide on ac- count of them mnot Knowing what they're talking about and the voung- sters knowing that they don’t know what they're talking about. How long trying to teach you to play poker but who's never played a game of poker himself?” “What,” I wants to know, “is poker got to do with the subject we're dis- cussing?” Know what the subject is?" asks “High Dome. “Permanent waves, comes back. “Permanent waves?’ gan. i says L wasn't it?” T yelps, Finne- ‘Sure!’ “The one crime's sot.” his death, 1 would fain speak of him | indeed, find it out by | in him at first than | ber, Ffty-six, and began to speculate | Would you listen to aguy who was | Chinko-Analysis Are Applied to Venerable Producing Some Remarkable Results. “THE FACE WAS THAT OF A YOUNG MAN, A VERY BEAUTIFUL FACE. BUT ONE OF INFINITE SADNESS.” | terest through his university career. |inches to two and a quarter | During the four years which it sted | finally to two and haif 1 washed for him eve wee my | “I have in my possession one of regular connection with him and the | his laun lists of that period. A | insight which my observances glance at it will she 1e scrup | me into the lovable character of are which he bestowed upon his pe {man deepened my first esteem into son. Well do I remember the dawn la profound affection and I became |ing hopes of those days, alte | most anxious for his success with the gloomiest despair | I helped him at each succeeding |Saturday I opened his bundle | examination, as far as - | trembling eagerness to catch th power, by starching his shi | signs of a return of his love | way to the elbow, s0 as to leave him | *“I helped my fri in every way |as much room as possible for anno- |that 1 could. His shirts and tations. My anxiety during the strain | were masterpieces of my art of his final examination I will not |my hand often shook with a attempt to describe as I applied the starch “That Fifty-Six was undergoing the | “She was brave, noble | great crisis “of his academic career|that I knew. Her influence | T could infer from the state of his | vating the whole nature of | handkerchiefs which, in apparent un- | U'ntil now he had had in his | consciousness, he used as penwipers | sion a certain number of detache during the final test cuffs and false shirt fronts. These he | “It was with a thrill of joy that I |discarded now—at first the | at last received in his laur bundie corning the ver one Saturday early in June a ruffied after a time, in hi | dress shirt, the bosom of which was oning even the thickly spattered with the spillir back upon those the punch bowl, and realize of courtship Fifty-Six had banqueted as a Bachelor | of Arts ppiness of ¥ | “In the following Wint and | of wiping his pen upon 1 from chief, which I had remarked during |da spear of s final examination, became chronic | fronts would cast with him, and I knew that he had |depths of desp their absence entered upon the study of law. He raised me to hope worked hard during that year. and | was not softer dress sl almost dissappeared from | Spring t -six nerved | his week ndle. to learn P he sent n white waistec 1 garment whic GJT was in the f ng Winter, | hitherto bee red second year legal | nature, to p r studies, that the tragedy of his life | stowed upor all th began. I became aware that a change | my ¥ had come over his laundry, for from |On the 2 a week, his dress | silk handker- | or shirts rose to four, a one. most two turned to me and, chiefs began to replce his linen ones right It dawned upon me that Fifty-Six 1% ix was t was abandoning the rigorous tenor of | cepted ; t his student life was going into T will not d upon the society ¥ ensued—days of gauc | “I presently perceived somethir 366 and white v more; Fifty vas in love. It was rts and lofty c soon fmpossible to doubt i, He was | ¥ by wearing seven shirts a week: linen |lover. Our happiness seemed : | handkerc! disappeared from h plete and 1 asked no more from fate. | Ala it was not destined to continue his Daundry collars rose from tw | - . o’ . Discovery of Diseases Gives Variety To Forms of Insanity Which Are Rampan e “ALL BOYS WHO STRIPS A FLIVVER DOWN AND HOPES THAT BYSTANDERS WILL THINK THEY MUST BE RALPH DE PALMA WORKING OUT IN A fRE. CH RACING CAR berry patch just because they read where Bobby Jones once done it 9. All people who because they had a $2.00 ticket to the game, sets in the Yale bowl all p.m. in a rain, hail and snow storm while Yale is beating al team that never had a chance. 10. All boys and young men who | strips a_car down till it is almost| jongg is a game. nude, paints a big Figure 2 on the front |~ In gathering data for the above li s [ one of the persons I consulted with and drives as fast as possible up and down the street in the hopes that inno cent bystanders will notice them and exclaim that must be Ralph de Palma working out. 11. All people that celebrates the dth of July with fireworks. 12. All people that still thinks mah sanity from A to Z and he give me some information in regards to certain forms of which I was in total igno- rants which I will pass them on to my readers in the case they may not of heard of them no more than me. The first, of these is depomania which is the opposite of kleptomania which as everybody knows is the mania for taking what don’t belong to you a specially in dept. stores. In depomania the patlent has a mania for putting things back where he thinks they come from whether they was was stolen or bought outright. Like for inst. he will go into your home and if he sees a book that was published by Seribner’s he will manage to sneak it out of the house with him, take it to his own home and wrap it up and send it back to Scribner’s. Or if he sees that you have a Colt re- volver laying on the table he will see that the Colt people gets it back even if he has to fire it to them. They was a famous depomaniac i N. Y. city a while ago who I won't mention his name on acct. of his kid- dies but_he was returning things by the wholesale and yet nobody could “WHEN THE DESSERT COME, IT WAS PUMPKIN PIE, AND OUR FRIEND HAD TO BE TOOK TO BELLEVUR" was Mr. Mare Connelly who knows in- | Theme of the Poet. grieved to notice rel—only four sbis | or the reappearasce of the abande cuffs and shirt fronts the shoulder of | and the se | the g three to ar vain I F mind and cc lavishe six. It that the gloss v | pointed love and I feare | “Ther | nothi an breast | ment, number with | Yen was 5 | . : catch him at it t > fro ce and send now 105 yrs. i Another forrn | Yorker : Kknowed to dine I ¥ | | | | who had a r Helga as 1t named. Every pretty near the | the various ab meat, w { cucumber fSert | ite salad. come what pie and our friend had tc Bellevue. was i Last but not led trainstare can't help from dow all the time The conducto: ting his ticket it is most ince in a card game Recently doctors has discovered v think is a effe out of his trainstare. namely strap the pati in & upper be f a car bound Bangor to Tia Juana and keep there till he becomes disheartene Concerning Sponges. PONGES are the beehives of the sea. This curious discovery has been reported to the United ates Bureau of Fisheries by Dr. J. Fish of the scienti st New York Zoolo; al Socle |er Arcturus, cruising in tropi waters. The “bees” which Dr. found inhabiting the canals of spor were whole colonies of the t ping shrimp Alpheus. garious shrimps, he discovered freely about, but always return t individual sponge which is their hive like home. Numerous other forms were also found to use these subwa | passages as a haven of refuge at the approach of danger. One ge-hive with its homing-shrimps was secured |and placed in an aquarium aboard ship, where the colony continued [ flourish. This discovery makes known spor another of nature’s queer partner ships; for the sponge which th shrimps use as a home is itself marine animal. although it spends its adult life fixed to the rocks in one place. like a plant, and t~ canals which shelter the shrimps the many mouths through which the | sponge gets its food. New Metal Cutting Tool. NEW form of tool, which cuts metal at higher speeds and in larger chips than is practicable with the standard tools now usea was de scribed to the American Soclety of Mechanical Engineers’ meeting Milwaukee by its inventor, Dr. Klopstock of Berlin. Tests made foreign railroad shops indicate th production can be increased about per cent by mear the new tool at Hans in If somebody tells you that to learn anything you must start at the bhot- tom, tell them just to try and learn to swim that way,