Evening Star Newspaper, August 7, 1921, Page 56

bLIVlNIERING AT HOME Gun Play Suggestions for Overcoming the Disadvantage of Not Contintied trom Third Page) go colorless;.as the barrel of her 1 Ch. i H n was bronght slowly about until Having a Charge Account With the Railroads. ;:e:r:‘ ‘?‘-;‘ Reoushtpiow sttt her victim. BY RING W. LARDNER. O the editor: Along this time of ¥r. most people is either back from their vacation or just EOing on it and either way they are talking about it ana think-, ing what a good time they are going to have or trying to pretend like they had one. and more than one of my friends has asked me where am 1 go- nishes it complete with a pr. of oars which he says he is waiting till he gets paid. EE R HE walted, and a breathless house Waited with her, as she took one OWEVER boating, fishing, tennis, | shuddering breath, her finger hesitat- H 3 ing on the trigger. Her face, with its and etc. Is pleasures that can be |, || i igened eyes, was now averted enjoyed anywhere, but after & person | ¢7or " ‘Gebonalr youth into whose hes lived here a wile they can get |body her bullet was supposed to crash. more enjoyments out of the mative [That face wtared, us bloodless a8 4 skul towars e audience gambling games amongst which is| "% 3" ven Budanski himself felt ; KSiSak e |& game called Shake which you play | the scampering mouse feet of emo- Samon Iy NecationfandiD ‘°: e Tlat the dinner table and the: contest- | tional reaction up and down his spine ain’t going nowheres and then they|,neq take turns picking up the salt|at the istained moment of suspensc say. “Oh that's right. you have one all | shaker and {rying their lack with it, [held b. i sepilchral blank face of s : h the yr. around.” which is suppose to|2nd. whatever comes out they can ¢! g_“:gr“ be a humorous remark so we all en- | MAVeML L ori is drivelng pored the master of stagecraft, for the oy a good laugh which is a whole | over to the R. R. station in the P. M. | 8¢e00d l;::*» Bed forwaral withia lot easter than explaining every time | to watch the Great Neck actor colony |, Then e Jesnel, TorRare: K00 D2 3 E i ice D that the reasons I ain't going mo- | Sa¥, BO0UIbY to thelr wifes and vies) or the thread of the thing scemed to wheres is 2 in number, one of which |to each other, and still another is a |8nap. The forward-thrust body of the is that I haven't got no charge acct.|Buessing game which is played only | woman with the . revolver suddenly “|When the fire whistles blows in the | Stiffened. She fell back a few steps, with the R. R. companys and the other | *1eR e Are b ot Bl r¥body | With the wading motion of a bather 2 i . ives i v t | half immersed in water, flung the re- reason is that when a man lives in a|tries to guess whose house has just | TaiL fmmorsed v Walel, ARG The S60 place like I live in he don't half to|burned doWR. |, .\ .. social can |Stood facing the audience sobbed out 80 nowheres because he can indulge | ge¢ plenty of it but personly we don't { brokenly, “I can't do it! T can't do it!” in all the comforts of a summer re-|have much Co. ourselfs as the house | She raised her hands, as though to cover her face. But before that move- ment could be completed she went down on the dusty boards of the stage front. She did not fall, for it was not the faint that most of the audience inferred it to be. It was more a slow crumbling down of the inert body, a subsidence without sound or shock. The only preceptible sound, indeed, in the momentary hush of that mo- tionless and slightly: mystified house was the small noise of sobs from the woman lying with her head toward the stage aprom, inhaling floor dust and clawing foolishly at the board cracks. It was the company -behind that stage-aprom. more than the audience in front of it, which stood startled by this unlooked-for ending to the fa- miliar old story. Wallie Craswell sharply called out to Anada Kinsella, * X X % noisily out on the stage for the finale, as they had been duly schooled to do. “The old woman's gone blooey gasped Hunkie Hoppe, trying to herd them back. Eoes “Get your curtain :down!" called Grimshaw, signaling ‘to the one-eyed orchestra ‘leader: to start his reces- sional music. Half the audience was on its feet by this timie, and the strained laughter of a woman in a gallery seat was sparpening into the uncontrolled screams of hysteria. “Help me here” Wallie Craswell cried out to Hoppe, as-he stooped to 1ift the passive woman from the floor- boards. “Are you al right?’ he gasped as he backed away with hie burden. “Look out for: your curtain there! This side, Anada, and we'll get her to a dressing room! Hunkie Hoppe, once: his curtain was down, gaped after the white- faced woman being supported by the girl and the young man on either side of her. “And she gummed her best scene— | with Budanski out front! he mut- tered as he picked up the fallen re- volver. Then he turned irritably to the staring supers. “Get off the stage, you muckers! Can't you see this show's over!” - Mother, are you all right? the | 8irl was still demanding of the older woman beside her. For that older woman had suddenly stopped and stared at her with the abstraction of 2 somnambulist. Then she had turned | and stared with prolonged absorption into the face of the youth in the ri- | diculous Mexican jacket braided with brass sequins. Siowly she took the brown-stained hand which had been clasping her arm and lifted it toward the white-powdered hand of the girl on her other side. She thtust the two hands toward each other until they met and clasped. She did so With a solemnity which tended to translate the movement into a rite. She was even able to smile wintrily at those hesitatingly clasped fingers which tightened at her surrendering nag' of aporoval, o8, I'm all right,” ghe said, ai walked unsi ..m' ihs lnioron:. eser, sitting beside Budanski as the theater noisily emptied, drew a deep breath. : “I'll be 'darned if that o1d she- trouper didn’t give me a shiver up the backbone.” he said with an‘achieved air of flippancy. j2 , “She’ll give you quite-a few -before T'm through with her,' “retorted the | older man Sk Loeser, who knew his chief, did not let the significance of that declaration escape him. i “But can she do it again?” he asked, with his eyes on the curtain stippled 8 competitive t o ST pet rade . announce “She did it once, didn't she?” “We've just seen it admitted the younger man. “Then it's up to me to make her do it again” was Budanski's un- troubled retort. 5 “Mother,” “called Anada at Kath- erine Kinsella’s door ten minutes later, . Budanski here to see you.” There was a ponderable lapse of time before any answer came from | the woman behind the closed door. “Will you ask him what for?" the S JicEe DORCA N 817/ #SOME PEOPLE SAY IT WAS GOING TO NEW JERSEY THAT UPSET CARPENTIER.” sort right here at home. That is, ex-[is generally always full of regular cept mosquitos. which I take my oath | customers, but once in a wile we that since I been liveing in Great |entertain the overflow from the house Neck 1 only seen 2 of them and they |next door where they have big partys both had a New Jersey license. every week end, but the host is a But i a summer resort can be &/ mute and sometimes the silence be- summer resort without mosquitos|gins to paul on his young visitors then we certainly have got one end|and they drop in at our joint for a as 2 matter of fact I don’t hardly miss | few minutes gayty. the mosquitos at all on acct. of the | These is just a few of the pleasures fiys which isn’t nothing like the flys | which I can enjoy without going on we use to have out west as these [no expensive vacation, and as for the boys don’t just tease but they are in |Climate they’s hardly a night all sum- earnest and take right e hold. Just|mer when you can sleep without your ask some of the guests who we have |night gown and in the day time the entertained by leaving them set out|sun comes out along about noon on the porch, which & man told us|Sometimes and it gets kind of hot, last spring, probably In a jokeing|but most of the day people has to Thate he would screen it for|wear their collars, and all and all the 373000, and they will tell you that|air seems healthy and in fact it was they had just as much fun pping | in this atmosphere that Geo. Carpen- | their ankles and squawkin haugh | tier got in such good ghape for the the Mosquitos had a Lacal he! ln: asUblE: fEhciand te 8:?4“-:;1 Rpeop! for results why spend a couple days same shape if he had stuck to Lon, amist Long’s Island’s flys and all your ( 320a% SPERe 10 A2 3 -~ lan going to New Jersey friends will remark how nobby you that day that upset him. I look. RING W. LARDNER. Great Neck, Aug. 5. (Copyright, 1921.) INEZ APPLIES THE ACID TEST y toward her dress- * % K X A MAN like myself naturally don’t like to brag about their home, but here is a spot that has got all the advantages of country life and the seashores and yet only 15 miles from the metropolis so as you can have dinner at home and then run in to N. Y. to a musical comedy and leave N. (Continued from Second Page.) cause he brought around a matri- monial candidate for Inez and she turned him down flat. This is a cjpver little scheme of Uncle Nels for making her take the other cholce —real work." “He's;losing all the money he put into buying out The Cave, thofgh,” Barr. Yes,” says I. “But I'm beginning to get » line on that old boy. He'll squeez: 1 dime until his thumb looks like a ‘'meo of an eagle, but he'll imuffled voice finally said. - toss & a check for a few thou-|danski, at this Juncturer puoiog e sand sy as If it was a cigarette gir| aside. There was mpatience in| coupon. b:}apecll"yk"l} ‘youT;O“th his gesture. that stubborn streak of ‘his. ere’ “To get you back to Broad - only -one answer to this, Barry: it's|fore the end of the momh,‘:?:n::xn?:d up to us to make a quick getaway.”the old manager, swinging back the If you could find .another base-|door. “To sign you up for three years, ! ment * vacant,” suggests Barry,|lady. before I leave this room 2 ‘couldn’t you open up there “Walt—wait till I.finish dressing," ‘On a combined capital of wha faltered the lady in question. with says 1. “There'd be an’edvance PAY- {one hand on the greasy back of a ment on the lease., the moving €X-{chair with a broken leg and the other penses, three or four days out' to fiX|holding a clustered - sofled kimono up a new joint, and probably a month | against her shoulders. before our old customers found| ““Fiddlesticks.” retorted the great where we'd gone. No, I can’t see it.Iman of Broadway, with his Napo- | BairlryA 1 expect we've simply got o |leonic prerogatives. *I've only forty quit. X minutes to “The old pirate!” says Barry. “To|ana I've om';‘,.m" business settled. “SPEND A COUPLE OF DAYS WITH | spring it on you Uike thist” @ long|Pack into"real = o . now.’ : u get down to bra v LONG N FLIES AND ALL|;... 55id that old boy was a_trick hundred a week seem & r-‘?:eas:‘r: YOUR FRIENDS WILL REMARK|uncle. Here comes Inez now. Watch|for the first year?” HOW NOBBY ¥OU LOOK.” how she takes i Slowly the woman turned over the Take what?” asks Inez. crumpled kimono and slowly she Y. again at 9:22 and be in bed a little * kK % thrust her arms through the faded! after 10 o'clack without missing none voluminous sleeves. All.the while her of the show as they generally spring | ‘() H. ‘nothing muck.” says I “eX1leyes were on Budanski's face. They the joke in the 1st act. cept that your Uncle Nels has|were opaque and expressionless, but | Personly 1 kept away (rom the bik| been up to mischief. Dirty work at w:'mr-‘c:::::r;lfiz?:ugn:nm:nd ‘them | own last summer from ug_ 2 il ', " 'S« Tal Ing Cogs the ] of Oct. and both Of W stood it |the cross roads. We're evicted of conjecture. She knew what it| pretty good though when I finely did| “Hey? says Inez, mever missing a{meant, in a way, from the moment she half to go in, it was kind of hard to|stroke on the gum. 5 first eard it 'But it took time to B e ey at| “It's a case of pack and git before | TIS€RC ThAL distotery. ess is so important that|night” says I “He's bought-the{ - 5 v o they can't go to places like up in|puilding and 1s having it pulled $¢]\[ ¥ daushter”—she began, with the Maine or the 1000 Floating Islands |, = “\ve're plumb overboard, Ines. look of pathos intensified on! on acot. of being too far from N. Y. her face 11 other men that haven't | At least, we're out in the street, with | he ke * “Which is her?” demanded Budan- ski, mMisunderstanding the woman’s Ll lrérthg Ciae xbnmm:rfixe‘fi no more home than a couple of rab- ell, Great spot for these kind of people as they | Pits. And your soft career as The|pesitation as he turned in the open can drive in in 45 minutes or tgel ‘White Goddess is finished.” dDD|l'~ HS‘!“'IY;CZGC the maneuver hof there on the train in 34 minutes, se ing a fam| ‘ncumbrance attach- Which ey can aven cuti® minutesy ~Ci T ot ‘,','",,'_""e‘y hunches her {0 itselt to a workimg necessity. off that by asking a real estate man |Shoulders. “So?’ says she. “Oh.| The woman, with -her meditative about the trains. well, T get tired of this place. See-|wide stare. stlil on' her face, stepped You can have a picnic in our front |ing people eat all time. Fried chicken | to the door. Cloge under the switch- vard and a good many people does |every night, and fresh guys getttin’|board. in the half light, she could see me every Sunday P. M. and seems |gay when they pay checks. Huh!" |a tall youth in ‘a Mexican Jjacket o enjoy themselfs almost as much|" “But you knew it means rustiing)|braided with sequins standing with as thqugh they knew whose grounds |another job.” I suggests. his arms folded about a slender girl they was picnicing on, and in return | «Maybe we get some place where|whose head rested ‘on his shoulder. 1 am sure I couldn’t be no fonder |gsomething goes on.” says Ines. They drew apart, 'the next moment, of them if wewas acquainted, so it| uyes " says I, “work, for instance.” |and stood speaking {n earnest whis- looks like our relations may as well 1 no care.” says Ine: pers. Then the girl placed a hand continue like they are, namely they| «jgn't that perfectly bully?" says|on the shoulder of the braided jacket haven't no idear who I am and the|pyery, * “Invictus, eh?’ Mistress of {and the youth’s arms once more en- enly clue 1 got In regards to them lyer fate, captain of her soul, and— |folded her. | is that they are fond of watermelons|, g a1l that sort of thing.” “That’s my daughter.” murmured ! Butidonelikaithe ernstipartiofibread. —I no like captains,” announces |the woman with the abstracted eyes. As far as sports and games is con-{, And Budanski smiled, in spite of CR R IO I s S . she doesn’t”” says“l. “Don’t|himself, in spite of the tragic light of e o god_from Port Wasn. | mention ‘em again. Barr; relinquishment tn the older woman's s e “But why?" he asks. ingten started building it and said | DRt WONE Be ASUE s says L| “You mean she used to be your of ‘}‘\;:lfld :::ie l,l‘\e’)‘ "f\‘-lex.;y ;2:([11’5‘ And by 4 o'clock that afternoon |daughter, don’t. you?' he curtly in- arcund the neighborhoods as to what | We were back in a double room ‘at | quired. v S ¢ way it|Miss Welby's with nothing definite| -Instead of answering him in words,; e reerred G s a5 at my | looming In the futire exotpt a cold|she moved her head slowly up and age it had to be this June or never. |meat supper. down. She was still repeating that But right acrost the street is Man- | “Speaking of your dear Uncle Nels, | abstracted head movement of acquies- hasset Bay where nimrods can enjoy says I “I expect he’s all right, [ cence when he: ll::: - down at hi themselfs shooting gulls and we have s place. watch and swang'the door shut. “So i boat which a young man| ‘Inez blinks without saying a word. [let's get dack to business he an- s to be working for us| “But between us,” I goes on, “his|nounced, uh-m.h‘r,-;ll one end of the 0 eel fishing in |place isn't on any map I ever saw. |littered dressing table and reached it and we can use to row acrost | Eh?” for his fountain pen. the bay and back as soon as he fur- (Copyrisbt 1821) Cewrigpt, 121) whose muffled scream of “Mother was lost in the tumult of a dozen i supers, made up as peons, crowding The Hecht Cos Half-Yearly “Discount Sale of Furniture - Now is the time to buy furni- ture. According to Bradstreet, fur- niture prices are deflated; we be- lieve they are down to rock bot-. t(’)m. ; Some time ago we adjusted our stocks to the new low levels; now we offer these low-priced stocks at Additional discounts of —making prices as near pre-war levels as any of us dare hope for. The entire stocks are included, g Just to show how prices have come down, we list some typical values showing the recessions from January to July to NOW. This bedroom suite, $295 In January, 1921 On July 1st, 1921 1t was $490 1t was $385 4-piece, American walnut dresser, semi-vanity case, chifforette and double bed. Queen Anne design. $47 On July 1st was Large robe sec This bedroom suite, $475 In January, 1921 On July 1st, 1921 $790 st was $612 7-piece walnut or mahogany suite; vanity case, dresser, 0 0 chifforette, 7t was double bed, chair, rocker and bench. eed fiber suite, $59 In January, 1921 On July 1st, 1921 1t was $135 7t was $100 3 pieces, baronial brown finish. Loose cushions over spring seats. Backs upholstered in cretonne. i, Thié Chifforobe In January was $85 $63.50 tion, four g mirror, . L] . d 07 s .13 1 This dining room suite, $220 355G Va5 manor: In January, 1921 On July Ist, 1921 any Srcak 1t was $395 . 7t was $295 4-piece American walnut suite. 54-inch buffet, china closet, server and extension table This living room suite, $165 1. jumuary vas This cabinet $27.50 $49.75 On July st was $39.75 In ] anuary, 1921 on" uly 1st, 1921 Oak kitchen cabinet with it was $270 it was $225 sliding alaminum table top 3-piece suite, mahogany and cane. Sofa, armchair and labor saving equip- and rocker, with spring seats, tapestry upholstered. ment. — T ) 6,000 more Government cots! Hotel men, boarding house keepers, every one! Simmons steel cots $ 1 .39 “Uncle Sam’’ paid $5.75 for them : The most convenient bed-cot known for campers or for home use. Illustration shows it folded and open. S Constructed with continuous post—Simmons patented, galvanized twisted spring. Folds perfectly flat; dark japanned finish. 2.6-ft. size. Can be easily enameled white. Subject to slight faults in ‘construction and finish, but nothing to affect their durability./ 5 . % Cot pdds and mattresses Sizes to fit above cots—priced exceptionally low. Special jute pad, $1.95 2%rinch box feit pad, - $5.75 Special cotton pad, - $2.85 5-inboxed cotton mattress, -§595 2g-inch box cotton pad,” “$3.95 S-iniboxed felt matiress, $7.95 . This bedroom suite, $1E5 In January, 192. On July Ist, 1921 1t was $235 it was $148.60 4-piece American walnut finish suite; dresser chifforette, toilet table and double bed. In January, 1921 On July Ist, 1921 1t was $425 it was $324 4-piece American walnut or brown mahogany. Buffet, china cabinet, server and extension table. ‘45 axminster 9x12 rugs discounte’ $36 20%, mnow, Alexander Smith Sons’ make—you can’t get any better rugs for the price. Now 209, below regular. All perfect—new fall pat- terns. Small all-over, oriental and medal- lion patterns in colors to blend with room decorations and draperies. Every wool rug in stock discounted 10% to 25% Your unrestricted choice—Axminsters, Brussels, Wilton Velvets, Royal Wiltons, Every size and every style. Buy 'mow-—your tedrv‘, Seventh at F for future delivery should you so desire. ? (Fourth floor.) The Heeht Co.