Evening Star Newspaper, January 16, 1921, Page 66

* Part 4—6 Pages FICTION Trying to Make Uncle Sam Pay Up on All Sorts o - — % Z Z Z / g 7 =) « “GEORGE WASHINGTON PUT PAID HIS BARBER DURING THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR.\THE BILL WAS PAID. BY H. 0. BISHOP. ROM the birth of this nation right down to the present day it has been the custom for many persons in all sections of the country to go upon the theory that the Treasury in Washington as in constant danger of overflow- g, and that bins of gold and silver coin and bundles of greenbacks were spilling out into the streets and were swept away in the gutters. They think they may relieve the pressure by filing strange and wonderful claims. In the minds of a great many men and women Uncle Sam is pictured as a benevolent and easygoing _old gentleman who hasn’t a biessed thing in the world to do except stand at the open doors of the Treasury with a long-handled shovel in his hands, ready and eager at any old time of the day or might.to scoop out the golden sheckels to any one who hap- pens to make a claim for anything from their great - great - grandpa's Sunday coat and pants that disap- peared during the revolutionary war to a lost mule or liberty bond of the Apresent period. That queer little worm kugwn to physicians, druggists and the scién- tiic fraternity as the “leech” downright lazy and absolutely de- void of even the elementary prin- ciples of “persistence,” as compared with some of the people Who file claims against the federal govern- ment. Leeches will give up now and then and quit after pursuing their quest for a time. Government “claim- ers” however, are different. They stick it out as long as there is thought in their heads or go in their feet. These determined folk will trail a claim through various govern- mental channels vear after year until some tidily inclined official gets tired of seeing it cluttering up his files | or desk and will disapprove it in order to get rid of it and its herders. ® K kK 11‘ must not be supposed, though, that such disposal of a claim forever- - more discourages the claimant. Oh, no! Early the next morning he is at the office of his representative or senator, all primed and smiled with facts and figures for either a reopen- ing of the case or the introduction of a special bill in Congress de- signed to get the much desired money from Uncle Sam. And then the long “SHE WANTS THE GOVERNW LIBERTY BOND, WHICH SHF. HID BURGLARS FROM GETTING IT.” fight gets under w. tor holds his Job. they can ever get away never-say-quit claimant is | tablish die or meet with defeat, 1o eithe one or the other of which surel happens, sooner or later. But t first man who greets their succes: as he climbs off the tr station is thix same Mr. who effusiveiy shakes h xists upon carrying his suit ca 1o the taxi, into which he plac himself. During the ride to th lie pours his red W ®he politely a mant pewlidered legislator. twenty providi properly looked There is never i let-up as long as that representa- The in at the Union | nd in- e out md | o tel | to prevent surprises.” r of the new | assuring that embryonic statesman | hat he will see to it that he is re- | elected to Congre: for the next!r & his clainr is| IN A CLAIM FOR THE. MONEY HE It will be seen that thoss who are under the impression that-the life of a congressman is just one beautiful thing after another are ‘a trifle mis- taken. Of course, all claims against the government are not unreasonable. Many of them are just and honest, and, in due course of time, are prop- erly paid. Of this latter class of claimants was George Washington. During _the long and discouraging years of the revolution it was often necessary for Gen. Washington to dig deep_ into his own pockets in order to defray his personal expenses and for the employment of secret service men and vafious other things incidental to the wibning of the war. Washington was ever a stickler for keeping the record straight, and therefore kept a strict and accurate accoun. G every cent of his own that he paid out, explaining in full detail the nature of each and every expendi- ture. Each night, whenever it was practicable to do fo, he would post- pone greatly needed rest until he had taken up his quill pen and brought his financial bookkeeping down to date, These records in Gen. Wash- lington's own handwriting are now bound in a neat little volume about eight by sixteen inches in size, and it is_kept in a_vault in the auditor's office of the United States Treasury. in the Graham building, at 14th and E streets. Efforts have been made to have this invaluable relic of the im- mortal Washington transferred to the Library of Congress, where it would be possible for the general public to view it. The Treasury officials who have charge of it take a different view and believe it is much better to allow it to remain where it is at pres- ent. VWHEN Washington assumed the dv- ties of commander-in-chief he immediately bought five war horses | with his own money. At the, close of | the war he rendered a claim for reim- {bursement. Some of the most interesting items contained in the above mentioned book are as follows: “To barber, in full, shilling and 4 pence. “To cash paid for cleaning the house | which was provided for my headquar- ters.” “To cash for recovering my pistols, which were stolen, and for repairing them afterward.” “To expense of party of Oneida In- dians on a visit to me and for pres- ents to them.” “To the expense of Maj. Cary A. Harrison, my aid-de-camp, on the up- * kX * 5 guineas, 18 ENT TO REIMBURSH HER FOR A| IN THE KITCHEN STOVE TO KEEP per or common post road with Mrs, Washington.” R “To $333 given to —— to induce him |to o into the town of Boston to es- a secret correspondence for the purpose of conveying intelligence | jof the enemy’s movements and de- | sigi e To Buienas sent Brig. Gen. Scott, commanding the light troops on the lines, to enable him to ens | | guge some of the inhabitants between ;him and the c¢nem, to watch their cments and e him of them DI 0 _cxpense in reconoitering the enemy’s post at Stony Point previous to the assault of it, and on a visit to isays, fierce enough, “I know they are MAGAZINE SECTION he Sunflyy Star. ASHINGTO! W D. C, SUNDAY MORNING, JANUARY 16, 1921 ANY of the Claimants Have Just and Reasonable Bills Against the Govern- 'I ment, But Others Are Unique—George Washington's Bill for His Barber. Aaron Burr's Bills for “Club Cyder"—Interesting Civil War Claims—Army | Motor Cycle Is Alleged to Have Killed Peacock, “the Only Fowl of Its Kind in'the | County,” and Farmer Files a Bill—The “Plug™ Hat Used as a Foot Ball by United States Sailors—When an Airplane Destroyed a Truck Patch. alief of distress of wives K After rec 1 of soldiers, 15 guineas.” | the long-de] ing the valiant record of arted old fighter and giv- washing in full, 7 guine: ing full details of the present s & and 8 pence.” straitened financial circumstances To sundry expenses paid on the|,¢ jjs descendants, the lawyer s march from Trenton to Morris Town T Burien e Gays: Talt ¢ Plucka. | L am prepared to admit that {hi quite an ancient claim, but I suppose min.” k p o the expenses of a trip to the |It is all right, for I never knew, in all French fleet off Cape Henry to fix |M¥ practice now of over forty-seven upon a plan of operation with Count |Years. of our respected Uncle Sam de Grass, 25 guienas. sneaking out of paying a just bill b “To the expenses which were paid|pleading the statute of limitations by myself on the march (Sometimes |and, if I have good success, perhap: with. and sometimes apart from the army) from Fredericksburg to Mid- dlebrook to our winter cantonment. Another celebrated claimant against the government was Aaron Butr. Dur- | ing the month of September, 1807, Mr. | 1 Burr dined daily ot the expense of | the ark, and as gecologi 1 under- the government. In rendering his|stand, have decided that the land bill to the Treasury Department he|from the St. Lawrence through into took particular pains to specify the |the Adirondacks is the oldest on the kind of drinks that accompanied each | globe, cvidently the bills should be meal. No mention is made of suchipayable here.” commonplace drinkables as tea, coffee [ In fimes of war it sometimes be- or milk. Whenever Aaron dined he|comes. necessary for soldiers to help evidently had the real stuff. His|{hemselves to whatever they can lay statement for the month, Written in thejr hands on in order to keep the 1 | may find some unpaid bill incurred in jthe partial erection of the tower of Babel, or some of Old Noah's unpaid bills for lumber. carpentering and plumbing. incurred in the matter of his own handwriting, contains such |\oif from the kitchen One of the interesting items as: most amusing cases of this kind oc- inner, madeira, claret, porter and!curred down in Georgia during the cyder.” war between the states. It seems “Breakfast, dinner, port and club|(hat a voung private simply could not cyder; brandy and port in the even-|persyade himself to keep on going ing. iwhen he espied a toothsome variety “Club cyder and half a dozen lem-|of livestock in a barnyard along th ons.” road which he was tra ling. In les: time than it takes to tell it, that sol !dier emerged from that barnyard with “Club cvder” was one of Mr. Burr's favorite drinks. He would occasion- ally go without brandy or porter, buta Young pig. a lamb and a rooster all never without “cyder.” It iz perhapsclutched tightly in his arn ¥or fair to assume that the “cyder” of that:vears the farmer and his sons en- ancient period was not limited toideavered to get the government, o fmeni {make good his claiming they such meager dimensions as one-half [ (it ccad the theft. They describe | of one per cent. the soldier as “red-headed, sparish in A frantic S. O. §. was recently Te-ijoqy andea Tight-smart runner.” ceived at the Treasury from an over-| Jor more than half a century civil careful housewife who lives in the|war claims have been pouring into mlde}le‘wa]sté ]lal.ppearhs_ tnat this| Washington. ' Some are pathetic and particular lady, after washing the sup- | others amusin, per dishes and putting them away in| “They broke into my smokehouse, the cupboard, picked up the eveningreads one claim, “and those soldiers paper and cox;lmen;eldhreadh;’x about | toolk every ham shoulder and sids of numerous thefts of liberty bonds inibacon I had. you w oi all sections of the countr::. She be- |send mg 5“’";;{‘°""';fl'2"’.g“ or pay for came greatly excited and, fearing my good smoked 5 < that a zhond burglar might break into| Comparatively few persons are °|aware that $60.000000 has been lving her home during the night, she re-|2WAre that $80.003 000 1as SOn ince moved her one lone bond from the old ;N 11¢, “0IEE S R A kitchen clock, where it had been |for"Teonle to claim it. This money “"‘;SL’;‘;“ckxed “hw“{x{“; several years, |was aporopriated by Congress to pay an it in the kitchen stove, con- v bales of cotton that were fidently believing that no burglar the northern armies. while would dream of looking there for| in progress. When the bonds or any other valuables. Imag. ine the misery and horror of this poor heen taken commenced sending in their claims they realized that an un- fortunate joker had been slipped in 1 soul when she arose early the next: without and morning proceeded !the bill. This joker compelled the thought of either bond or '""'f"f 1010 take the “ironclad cath of loyalty fire up:tha coakstove preparatory. 1o |y ‘wikich they were obliged th swear gettingthe family breakfast! She now wants the gevernment to print an- other bond and send it to her to take the place of the one that Went up the kitchen chimney in ashes. * % % ¥ that they had never bore arms against the Union. Of course. they were un- able to tal;e such an oath, as they had all either participated Th the fighting against the north or were heartily in favor of that cause. They were, therefore, unable to collect a single rHERE is a lawyer living along the [dollar, hence the money is still in the 8t. Lawrence river, in the state Treasury. =~Hfforts are now ' belng 0 have of New York, who possesses an ex-|among the surviving Confederate sol- traordinarily keen sense of humor. |diers or widows of soldiers. The orig- The letter he sent with a claim for | IRl owners of the cotton are prac- the money equivalent of coat and| 3 claim that has been before the pants lost by a soldier of the revolu-'government for more than 100 years | tionary war. kept the Treasury ofli-|is known as the “old Sevier claim.” cials and clerks smiling for days.|Sevier, who at one time was Gov- !couthern planters whose cotton had | this money distributed | ernor of Tennessee, asserted that the government had taken a million dol- | lars’ worth of land that rightfully | belonged to him. This claim is still | alive and some of his heirs ronfl-i dently expect to have it adjudicated ' some day in the future. * % * % | TMHE Gen. H. H. Sibley war tent| claim is another that has been | hanging fire for many years. Long | before the civil war Sibley invented ! an army tent which was adopted by | ithe government and uséd for a long | period. Sibley took the side of the south, and, as a result, his claim for | proper compensation for his inven- tion was sidetracked. | “I wouldn't have sold my dog, | which was a fine hound, for as much | as $100. He got mixed up with a troup of cavalry horses and was kicked all to pieces. 1 am willing to settle with the government for $7.50 * was the letter received at the Treasury some fifty-odd years ago from a Virginian. Even fish figured in a civil war claim against the government. A handful of atfidavits were sent to the | Washington officials’ to prove that iprior to the marching of soldiers {through a certain section of Ken- jtucky a well known minister of the gospel had a large pond on his prem- ises generously stocked with sev- eral kinds of good dinner fish. It asserted that the soldiers’ drain- the pond and confiscated every | Ifish. It was, of course, impossible | {to agree as fo the size, weight and | {number of fish, and, therefore, the |claim made slight progress during |the ensuing years. Frightening by soldiers of an old thoroughbred mare which was proud- ly chaperoning her two-month-old mule colt so badly that both the | horse and colt fell over a high preci- pice was the basis of a claim that was kept lively for a number of lyears. |” Based upon the large number of lclaims that were filed directly after the civil war it would seem as though every fruit tree existing in the fight- ing area had been visited and strip- ped by soldiers with keen appetites for fresh fruit. It appears that nothing was left but the branches and leaves in most cases. In several instances it was claimed that all of the branches were torn off and the fruit eaten as the men continued on their march. . Chicken coops and duck ponds evi- dently were as. greatly appreciated | as the orchards. If the claims are 1o be relied upon, no poultry houses were overlooked during the years of fighting. | ““I had the only he peacock & this |county and now one of them Army | motorsickles with two men, one on land one in the little tub alongside, {my handsome bird, and they didn't {even look back, but headed straight {for the next county at lightnin® {speed, and 1 want damages,” so reads a letter but recently received by a {member of Congress from an irate | constituent. ~The representative, of course, will seriously pass the buck {o the War, Treasury and other de- partments. A ten-dollar_“plug” hat was once { the subject of extensive and bitter i comes flyin’ by my place and kills| the federal authorities. The wearer of the silk tile was “taking in” the city of Brooklyn, and happened to be strolling in the vicinity of the Brook- Iyn pavy yard. A crowd of healthy, happy, red-blooded young sailors, who "had_just landed from a long cruise in foreign waters, was starting out “to do” Broadway ‘and lively sections of Manhattan Isle. For some reason or other, the sigkt of a plug” invariably arouses a spirit of good-natured deviltry in most voung fello It happened to be specially true with this crowd of sailors. They cither had to give vent to the exuberance of their feelings 48 a result of their happy homecom- ing or blow up. Politely but firmly they removed the shiny headgear from the gentleman's head and. used it as a foot ball all the way across Brooklyn bridge, finally attaching it to a piece of ropg.and ceremoniously dragging it behigd:them into each of the many and va¥led places visited. They tenaciously ‘¢lung to it until the return to the "ghip, where it was proudly cxhibite#as a choice souve- The owner Had o sense of humor, and instead of qaietly buying a nice human hat, he started out to collect damages from the.government and to have all of the sailors dishonorably dismissed from theNavy. No damages ‘were collected agl not a sailor was bitterness of feeling. It was known as the “Black Bob” claim. It seems that a band of Shawnee Indians, headed by their chief, who was know throughout the west as “Black Bo received, in 1854, 35,000 acres of land in southeastern Kansas, about 200 acres for each man in the tribe. The treaty specified that the land should be held in common by the tribe, but if any one Indian wanted to take his portion in severalty, he was at lib- erty to do so, and could obtain a patent from the Indian commissioner in Washington. In the days of the civil war Quan- trell and his band came along and scattered the “Black Bobs” all over upon certain speculators and of- ficeholders that they ight get pos- session of some mighty good prop- erty by taking advantage of the severalty clause of the treaty. After the war was over and the “Black Bobs” came wandering -back to their old homes they found the rich, tim- bered and well watered sections of the reservation in the possession of strangers. A white man, purporting to be an Indian, “would send in a claim for a patent for his 200 acres, and soon it would be received micely embellished with huge red seals and, ribbone. " One pt-the mosl: cruel fea- ures of s fraud was the, deceptio of several hundred settiers from the east, on whom the speculators un- loaded the property, assuring them the title was perfect. These settlers had put a quarter of a million dol- lars’ worth of improvements in the form of houses, barns and fences on the property before the return of the Indians. Claims and_counter claims were placed before Washington for years. In fact, there are people to- y who like to talk about the lack Eob land,” in which they have a claim. correspondence between its owner and Land claims have always cluttered % A ' as familiar with a typewriter as | I am with a wireless telephone— and it's a sad but true fact that | I wouldn't know a page of short- | hand from a Chinese laundry sign. | But, just the same, I'm not such a frost when it comes to offerin’ the | post-graduate course to ship-wrecked | stenogs. Yesterday about closin' time Katie ushers in the most unallurin’ female of the species. But when I get right down to facts and take inventory, she isn't such a homely party, after all In fact, she's got the features. Suddenly I understand what the| uQuegtion number ome: Do you blight is: The awful clothes she's |condider yourself = good stenog- — ble, mud-colored rapher draped in—a dural | “I do” she annountes. “I take dress and a weatherproof hat that|gcf B0 SAE, anpounces O take would have been a liability to Venus | herself! She looks like Weary Wil-! lie's twin sister all dressed up for a wmushroom hunt. “In trouble, girlie,” T ask by way of | openin’ conversation. z She nods her head to prove I'm a good guesser and starts the weepin act. Sounds of snifing il the atmos- pheére of my peaceful kome. “Love worries?” 1 suggest. Head nods in the negative and more sniffies. “Business troubles I'm out of a jol HE Department of Agricul- ture, in common with a number of other depart- L “Yes,” she sobs, k St L ' most curable little ail- \ £ ays e O world,” I says, very en- |Meredith, “has very definite respon- an for sibilities in connection with Ala: development. It is endeavoring, couragin’, cheer up and let’s have mcl detalls.” Well,’she says, still enveloped in gloom, “I'm a graduate of the beatl business school in town. “ée"ifl:! one lcrops and live stock; it has experts in of the first ten recomme n my J BEL o e firt e O hey got me 4 |the fleld lnvestigating the possibili $00d Job, but——— conversation again |of building up the reindeer herdsinto blocked by the weeps. ati an important source of meat supply A Toulom record time.” 11, o giving attention to the perpetu- BN she admits, “when they cut|ation of the fur industry. But its down the office fo 1 was the flrslld)ipf responsibility at the to_go." e time is in connection with the admin- “Got your walkin' papers before you |istration of the national forests of could show them how valuable You |Alaska. were! Pretty raw. at next? he location of pulp mills in these “I went back to the business school|forgsis would aid greatly in solving and asked for another placement |the problem of our future supplies of They got me a new position and gave | powg print. Under regulated use the me. A mumber-one recommendations. ' |rne Bl donil” Torest alone can LR IR e 0 dies a natural,ropap1y produce forever 1,500,000 cath also.” I RN did. After that|tons of news print yearly, along with I hadn't the nerve to go back to head- quarters and tell them I had failed again.” o you've been out on Your Own.” I suggest, “actin’ as your own little em- yment agency. Any luck?’ one,” she announces. “I've walked the Btreets till my shoe leather is wearing out, and it's the same old story at every office where 1 answer an “ad.: “They've just employed a stenographer.’ And generally By far the most valuable Alaska is that which fringes its western seaboard, the northward extension of the coast for- ests of Washington and British Co- lumbia. Practically all this coastal arca is owned by the government. It is under national forcst administra- tion. and timber from it is already playing an important part in the in- dustrial development of the territo, Every sawmill on the coast from purposes. timber in Iying! T shouldn’t wonder, girlie.” I says, kind but true, “such’ things happen in_the best regulated office: “Then read my future' she begs, “and tell me what's in store for me." No, girlie,” 1 says, to her ever- forests. These all the timber and forest admin- mately related to every form of industry and to every community in the coastal area. ply from the natio mills furni: nearl; usged in thé regio istration is int it after it was taken.” To expenses to Hartford, where went to meet their excellencies, | t de orne. Cou de x ochambeau and Admiral | going to get it right now. Prepare “Because of this relation a peculiar responsibility rests on the forest serv- ice in Alaska. To fulfill it effectively under a system of long-range admin- Istration is impgysible.” The public - lastin® surprise, “I'm not tellin’ for- tunes today. What you need is a litte common sense talk and_you're &r the personal inquiries, Reindeer Meat and Paper -From the Alaskan Forests example, to increase the production of | present | ample quantities of timber for local | Ketchikan to Seward obtains its sup-| SECRETS OF A FORTUNE TELLER 1the ke “I'm careful, and a good speller. “Some accomplishments,” 1 says. | _“Question number two: “Who dis- charged you from your two positions, sources in Alaska can be properly |managed only by lodging authority in {men on the ground to act without waiting to consult distant superiors, |and the forest service has consistently {followed this policy. There is close |co-operation between the forest serv- |ice and the territorial government, |and the animating purpose of the for- |est officers is to make the forests |serve the welfare of Alaska. “The greatest need of Alaska is for thp investment of capital in enter- prises for the development of re. sources which can be developed in no ther way. THe pulp wood supplies of {the coast forests offer the best im- mediate opening for capital. To the t: of securing their utilization on a large scale the energies of the for- |est service are now being directed, {with every promise of success. One {large sale has already been closed and others are in prospect. Through such enterprises the population of Alaska will be built up, its wealth increased {and othe forms of development | stimulated.” | —_— How He Did It. THE late W. K. Vanderbilt was noted for his quiet, kindly wit. He was once discussing with some friends the career of a man whose horse had just won the Grand Prix, and a banker said: “Biank's brilliant success in the !world is a great surprise to me and everybody else who knew him as a young man. Of all the worldly, reck- and who refused you jobs all week— “Why, men, in every case,” she vs. lookin’ surprised. ery well,” I proceed. uestion number three: much money have you got sa. How put laway “One hundred and seventy-five dol- lars,” she says sort of mervous, “and I'm saving every cent of it for a rainy day. “Exactly,” T says pleasantly the rainy day has come. It's my duty to tell you that you're a frump.” “A what?” she stutters, not be- lievin® her ears. 3 3 “A frump, I replies. . “Capital F-r-u-m-p; meaning, according to my dictionary, a lady dressed like a comic valentine! Your clothes are the most unpleasant bunch of duds T've ever seen hitched together. 1 see she's getting excited, but I motion her to keep quiet. “Do you know why you lost your two Jobs, and why you can’t land enother one? Simply because the men don’t like your looks. What they all crave —whether they know it or not—is. a neat, stylish female that's easy on the eyes. Dressed like that, you're a blot on the office landscape—you're a blemish on the scenery.” “Do you mean to tell me,” she says, very dignified, “that looks count more than efficiency?” “Well,” I says, “maybe looks don't count more, but they count first. After you've made yourself as neces- sary to the firm as the office furniture and the steel vault, you can afford to look like Mrs. Medusa, if you want to. But not before. Get me™” “Yes,” she says, “but it's a new idea. Do you advise me to invest part of my money in a few clothes?” “A regular, up-to-date little workin® trousseau!” I answers. “with a sham- poo and & manicure thrown in. This note,” I says, scribblin’ fast on one of my business cards, “is to be hand- ed to the head saleslady in a certain shop. It calls for a biue serge suit with plenty of pep: six neat shirt waists, a nifty black sailor. tan waik- in' pumps, and a supply of odds and ends to complete the outfit. “Well,” she says, “it seems rather extravagant, but I'm going to follow out the program. It's my only chance less chaps I ever, saw he was the worst. It is beyond me how he has een able to climb to the top of the ladder, as he has done.” “Well,” replied Mr. Vanderbilt, “you | would understand Blank’s climb bet- ter if you knew Mrs. Blank. She steadied the ladder for him, you see.” “No chance about, it, dearie” T in- forms her. “It's a Sure thing. After one good look at vourself in a full- length mirror, you'll be able to stroll up to the biggest mahogany desk in town and offer your services like you're doing them a favor. Good luck!” I says, ;#and no.charges till u've drawn your ;first fay check: (Copyright, ‘l‘hu?mn Feature Service.) other | * % ¥ % MANY vears ago Kansas provided a *'" claim that caused considerable By Rachel Mack !‘ [on his spacious Texass acres. J .|sentatives and the United States Sen- “ONE MAN THINKS THE GOVER COMPOUND INTEREST, FOR NTS IN THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR.” the various governmental agenct other thousands have been through sheer weariness or feeble- ness of the claimants, while still other thousands continue to be very much alive. Every Indian tribe and practically every ind the country have been tryving for years and vears to get their land claims satistactorily adjusted. Such claims will doubtless be in existence for a century or two to come. a close more than seventy years ago. but many claims of that period are still as lively as voung kittens. man in Texas is exceedingly anxious to collect several hundred dollars, | plus interest, for the alleged “swip- ing” of three spotted ponies, four sacks of cornmeal, two hogs and half a dozen goats that belonged to his grandfather. He avers that the property was taken from his grand- Ppap’'s premises in broad daylight, and therefore there should be no ques- tioning of his claim. Large numbers of cattle, according to claimants, were taken without ask- ing or invitation during the time this country was adm}iistering a_ spank- ing to Mexico. war élaims are t (e the soldiers of that period surelr had voracious ap- petites. (F_New Year day of this year Representative Drane of Florida received a claim which he thinks is oneof the most ynique now on file. It was from an old gentleman in his Qstriet. who fought in the Indian war ‘or 183%. The old gentieman says a horse ‘was shot from under him and ;:e would like to collect the sum of 150. The fact_that a President of the United States was riding on a special train, was grasped as good and suf- ficient reason why the United States government should pay for the loss of a haystack that was supposed to have been set on fire by a spark from the presidential train. The farmer seem- ed to be quite peeved with the Presi- dent and every other gevernment of- ficial when his bill failed to get an 0. K. i A truck farmer on Long Island, whose specialty is growing fancy spinach and tomatoes for the people of New York was rudely shocked one beautiful spring day. when one of Mr. Burleson’s mail airplanes got out of kelter in a heavenward direction from his budding plants and a few seconds later made a scrambled landing right in the middle of the truck patch. Mr. Farmer wanted the Treasury or Con- gress to quickly come across with $1,320 worth of damages. When Mr. Burleson is not postmaster general- ing he dons serviceable jeans and, with his ever-present umbrella tuck- ed beneath his arms, goes a-farmering He, therefore, knows all about garden kale and its financial possibilities. It * Lok % l THAT THE GOVERNMENT PAY Hi) was not at all surprising when he recommended the cutting of the L. I farmer’s claim to $500. 1 Those who are not particularly con-l versant with national housekeeping would perhaps be survrised if they | were to see a communication ad- | dressed to Uncle Sam askigg him for | a set of false teeth.- They might sus- | pect that the old gentleman had gone into the dental business. While that i would not exactly be the true status| of affairs, nevertheless Uncle Sam, not 50 very long ago, sent a check for $35 | to a man with which to purchase a new set of upper teeth. Before this could be done, however; all sorts of departmental correspondence was in- | dulged in, -and the House of ReDre-' ate were called upon-to take action. The gentleman who was provided Thousands of them have been paid, |e: dropped | dual Tndian in | The Mexican war was brought to | One | If all of the Mexican | f Peculiar Claims i x - N T SHOULD PAY HIM $17, WITH AND COAT LOST BY AN ANCESTOR at government ian laborer at Gov- N . N. Y. when a hefty hemlock plank failed to ¥ put. hit- tinz him in several places. seriously |damaging his artificial chewing ap- paratus, Many @ man would have considered himself linked with “Lady Luck” 1or [the rest of his life if he had been in the shoes of a cerfain Texas man named Johnson, whose home IS perched on a nice, grassy, tree-cov- ered hill on the shores of the Gulf of | Mexico. One afternoon in early au- tumn while he was comfortably sit- ting in a big hickorw rocking chair with feet resting against the trunk of a monster magnol tree, he {observed a good-sized brilliant object bobbing up and down on the lazy waves a few hundred yards from the shore. A Mexican servant was dis- patched in the electric launch to make an investigation. He returned with a five-gallon metal cask. which upon investigation was found to contain pure grain alcohol. Did this Texas Johnson skid the five gallons into his spacious concrete-lined cellar for future ref- erence? He did not! He is a stickler for laws. He insists that salvaged property ought to be put through the usual legal channels. He, therefore, delivered his precious cask to the United States customs officer, to whom he gave his address, mildly suggesting that when the original owner failed to put in an appearance within a reasonable time the pretty little cask and its contents be forwarded to his palatial home, down where the gulf breezes gently purr through his grove of massive mag- nolias. . But, ead to relate, this is one government claim that remains un- settled so far as Mr. Johnson is con- cerned. Thus far he has not re- ceived cask or contents. He often sits on his veranda and wonders whence those five gal- lons came. He even looked up the Scriptures and after a lapse of many years again read what was said about casting the bread upon the waters. But. ’tis said that his wife and four charming daughters. more frequent- ily observe him sitting there with a faraway expression on his features, softly singing, “Oh, where, oh where, has my little cask gone? Oh, where, can it be?” * ok ok * N avalanche of claims are flooding every government department at Washington as a result of the world war. Land owners where canton- ments and other war establishments were located have evolved some won- derful damage claims. Changing a muddy dirt road to a concrete one is condemned by a farmer as being in- jurious to his horses. He says it jams their legs and wears out their Shoes every few weeks. His grief can be assuaged, he intimates, by & sizable amount of good coin. ‘Another farmer is quite certain that the fertility of the soil on which cantonment buildings were located “A UNION SOLDIER ONCE STOLE.A YOUNG PIG, A ROOSTER AND A LAMB, ACCORDING TO A GEORGIA FARMER, AND THE FARMER INSISTS FOR HIS BARNYARD PETS.” has been permanently imgaired. He feels that a cash payment of $10 per acre would be about right. The War Department placed a new ro8f on a huge rented building dur- ing the war. and otherwise improved it by painting it inside and outside. building new fences around it and constructing a new cement sidewalk The owner has filed a damage claim for $50,000. angrily protesting that the roof is not the kind he likes. and that his wife and_children ridicule the color of the paint, which is pure white. Asserting that a mew rope clothes line, a hammock and a hive full of pure honey disappeared from her property while soldiers were en- camped half a mile away. an .ins ipanar widow has put i laim for