The evening world. Newspaper, September 30, 1922, Page 15

e, Patriotism That showed in the Re- auction of Restau- ant Portions Will *revail in the Dis- . -ibution of Heat. { If the Govern- .ent Is to Keep Peo- e¢ Warm in Win- sr, Why Not Keep hem Cool in Sum- a By Montague Glass. ELL, Mawruss, | see that Governors of a whole lot of States flready begun to appoint Coal Com missioners at five thousand a year and up to take charge of the coal short- age next win- ter,” Abe Potash observed to his Ze partner, Morris iiatans Perlmutter. id I bet right now, Abe, a long line of Apartment Landlords waiting to see ~4 Coal Commissioners and get illowances of coal cut down minimum,” Morris Perl- r declared, “which I’ve been * in a New York City apart- » house now for twenty-five ia) oa) 1 4) - i: 4 Wa | ? ‘ > } } | MALU THE EVENING WORZED’S XXV.—MORE ABOUT JAPAN thought the Temple of jousand - handed Kwannon \Bhuite the loveliest Japanese Bthat they had seen, So did South Sea Island girl. There p many dolls there. Alice ongingly from the little un- dolls to the big clothed ones cely knew which she wanted away," said her Brother tiently. ‘There are other é in Japan besides dolls."’ Alice, summoning all her ys) up, “Please may I hifoll. @ big, dressed one like sald, pointing to a pretty case, be WORLD, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER $0, 1922. di 3 be argued out of the idea that still at the gates of Paris.” “Some people which during ain’t recovered from it.” “If the Government is going years, Abe, and so far as each and every one of my landlords was concerned, Abe, there has always been a coal shortage. “But this winter they will have a good excuse, Mawruss, and in all probability they will continue to use the same excuse for a number of win- ters to. come, because there are any number of hotel and restaurant pro- prietors which got all of a sudden so patriotic in 1917 and 1918 in the mat- ter of cutting down the. portions of food, y’understand, that to-day yet for the purpose of limiting the size of a single sirloin steak to three ounces net, y’understand, them restaurant proprietors couldn't be argued out of the idea that the Germans Is still at the gates of Paris, Mawruss,” Abe said. “The fact 1s, Abe, that when tt comes to letting bygones be bygones and admitting that the war is over, y'understand, restaurant owners ain't no harder to convince than coal min- ers, y'understand,"” Morris said, “ard merchant tailors ain't exactly turned their swords into cutting shears neither when they fixed their prices for this season; and what is morc, Abe, if you would try to beat them VALLE “The dressed dolls have been given to the temple by mothers who have had their wishes granted; we cannot give them away," she was told. “Then I'd like a little undressed one,"’ she said, smiling shyly, and her little South Sea Island friend nodded as if to say ‘So should I," while their brothers edged restlessly nearer the door and the Pirate chuckled to him- 8 “The little ones,"’ said the temple Priest, “are for sale. They are ‘magic’ or ‘wish’ dolls," he said, trying to speak in words that tho children would understand. ‘There is no need to have one of these dolls unless you have a wish.'’ “I've got a great big wish!’’ said Alice, and even Jamie, the scornful, pricked up his ears and began to be interested in the dolls. He had a ’ ‘ HERE are any number of hotel and restaurant proprietors which got so patriotic in the matter of c: ting down portions that to-day yet for the purpose of limiting the size of a single sirloin steak to three ounces, they can’t nearer the shooting ‘han Washington, D. C., or Albany, got terribly wounded in the head and cause the price is high and people couldn’t keep warm, y’understand, the first thing you know Sy THE BLACK OUTLOOK FOR WINTER COAL t- “They done chant prefers to the Germans is “I've been living house for twenty-five years and so far as each and every one of my landlords was concerned there has always been a coal shortage.” the war was no “Every coal asking $25 a ton for coal except the Wastemere Coal and Lumber Company, and they’re $19. But they’re all out of coal for the to seize coal be- being.” down when they ask $165 for a $40 suit of clothes, they would look at you like they was saying: “That's a heart you've got—like a brick! Did you ever hear such a thing? Kicks about paying $165 for a three-button sack suit when our brave boys are fighting in the trenches of France and Belgium—or anyhow was fighting as recently as four years ago.’ “That's a habit that everybody sot into during the war, Mawruss," Ab2 said. “High prices and poor servic? was handed to you by all kinds of business men from hotel proprietors to shoe black parlors, and you were asked to stand for it because you were so much better off than the boys on the other side. ‘The idea was that a business man who hooked cus: tomer for a rotten suit of clothe: a tremendous pri d at the same time waved the American flag, was a patriot, y'understand, whereas the customer who got hooked and kicked about it, was a traitor. Naturally, Mawruss, some merchants would lixe to see such war-time patriotism con tinue till the next war, and conso- quently, Mawruss, that gives the coal miner a chance to say: “If the merchants don’t know that wish; he wished that they could set sail in the Good Ship Makebelleve and Go to the African jungle where there were wild animals, and wild people too, b ped, and where hfe would be ex In Japan they had met no t such as there were in China nd Thibet. Japan was too tame [{ the boy And the dolls were ¢ epting the ‘wish dolls." “wish dolls" interested Jamie Maybe y could whisk him away to the African junble! “L'll buy a ‘wish doll,’ he said to the pri “So will I," said Alice, But the Japanese priest only smiled at’ their cagerness—an Oriental, world-wise smile—and shook his head, “No, the ‘wish dolls,’ as you call them, will not help you, my Ittle ones. he said “They are only for mothers, Every mother who wants a the Government would seize overcoats, heavy underwear and furs for the same reason.” reasonable price of coal, and if the coal mer- let it go at that price, that’s his funeral.” their best when they fixed the hang on to the coal rather than a New York apartment dealer at Wastemere, L. L, is king ‘ime the war is over, why should the coal miners?’ “Well it'll anyhow seem like the war was still on this coming winter when we get the Government saying which industries shall have coal and which shouldn't," Morris observed. HOW ABOUT SEIZING FUR COATS. “And that only goes to show, Maw- russ, that some people which during the war was no nearer the shooting than Washington, D. C N. Y., got head and , or Albany, terribly wounded in ain't recovered from Abe said, “which if a man gets shot full of bullets, sometimes they could be taken out of him, but when a man gets shot full of ideas, Mawruss, they will stay by him for years. 4 “One of the worst of them ideas, Mawruss, is that the Government can step in any moment and suspend the law of Supply and Demand by ap- pointing a commission of three or four members at $5,000 a year aplece, who go to work and close—we would say—the theayters by shutting off their supply of coal “This of course prevents the theay. ters from offering the coal merchants Wesley Barry’s Little Chunks of Wisdom. HEADS DOWN—HEELS UP, Wesley Barry Is Saying: OW I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die be- fore I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take." And Wesley lives every day so that that praye will come true if a big truck or a ‘o- comotive ould accidentally him, But the prayer business is better than that it goes deeper, it makes a boy feel all good on the inside. If you feel good on the inside, there ain't much dan- ger in your doing anything so terribly wrong. P. S.—Don't ever be ashamed to say your prayers. You will like the habit {f you get in the way of talkin’ to God. WES MY LITTLE CHICKS. I have two little chicks, they're cunning little chicks; cne ts the other black, but the little red chick I love the best. By MELVA LUEDKE, Age 13, Hawthorne, N. Y, little boy or girl brought to her must wish hard very before they arrive Japanese mothers come to the temple and take away these dolls to help their wish to come true. And when the stork brings a baby «irl or boy to their house the happy mother dresses @ big doll in the vest clothes she can afford and gives it to the temple Their wishes very often come true,” he sald. ‘See,’ and he waved his hand toward the pretty big dolls in the glass cases, which had each been placed there by a happy mother, “You children,"’ continued the holy man, taking Alice on k r the South Sea Isla 1 on the other, “ought to come to Japan in February. Then the Japa shops are bright with dolls (‘hina,’ we call them), of every sort that the Japan- ese children € Th are dolla that represen r and the Empress of « «retinue of courtiers and court servants Then, on the third day of the third month (March 2d), the Doll Festival begins, ‘This ts the girls’ holidd¥ And on the fifth dz of the fifth month (May ), the joys’ bestival tukes place, The boys’ dolls are quite extravagant prices for coal, and there- fore releases a lot of coal so that it can be suld at a reasonable price to actors, stage hands and ushers, who because the theayters have been closed, ain’t got the price, reasonable or unreasonable. This also has the same effect on every other business, Mawruss, so that as soon as a Fuel Commission shuts off the supply of coal from an industry, y'understand, the worke in that Industry ain't golps to freeze to death because the price of coal is high “Instead, Mawruss, thetr last below- zero moments are going to be com- forted by the idea that coal is being sold to those people who have the money at practically normal prices."* “But suppose the coal merchants wouldn't sell their coal at what a Fuel Commission says {s a reasonable price?"’ Morris asked, ‘Then it ain't up to the Fuel Com- mission no Jonger,"” Abe replied. “They done their best when they fixed the reasonable price of coal, and if the coal merchant prefers to hang on to coal rather than let it go at that price, y'understand, that's his fun eral. But suppose the coal merchant wouldn't sell out at less than replace- ment prices, Abe, then the Govern- ment -would seize his coal, ain't it?’ Morris suggested. “A Bolshevik Government might,’’ Abe said, ‘‘but I don't see how this nment can,"* how are the poor people nebich going to keep warm?" Morris inquired. “Tam in the cloak and suit busi- ness, not the overcoat business,” Abe answered, “otherwise it might seem that I had an interest in saying that they must keep warm the’ best way they can till the price of coal comes down, Mawruss, because if the Gov- ernment is going to seize coal because the price is high and people couldn’t keep warm, y’understand, the first thing you know, Mawruss, the Gov- ernment would seize overcoats, heavy underwear and furs for the same rea- son. ONE CUT-PRICE DEALER. Also, Mawruss, if the Government is going to step in to prevent poor people from being too cold in winter, y'understand, the next thing they would do would be to prevent poor people from being too warm in sum- mer, and right away the Government would seize stocks of Pallum Beach suits, electric tans and ice."* “And then, Mawruss,"’ Abe con- CLIO a ZCI CTT TT II LL MYSELF. like to be Priscilla, she's so nice and sweet and tall, Or perhaps I might be Martha, she's the prettiest of all Margaret has the best of clothes, I'd just as soon be her. But Ethel is so very rich, coat of fur, Or else I'd like to be Marie, she has a motor car; \ Or perhaps I'd rather be Adele, but she has no papa. really not content, you seo, there's always something wrong. If I could just be some one else my life would be a song, Helen’s mother ts so cross, her father is away, And Katherine's mother has no work, ra e has a I'm Now and she's alone all day. There's thing inside me says. “You're not content, you know." And if I do not curb it I'm sure that it will grow. Envy {s its name, I think, that naughty little elf; I'll fight until I spank {t out, and then Ull be--MYSELF! By CECELIA MAYER, Brooklyn, N.Y. —— HOW TO JOIN THE KLUB. CUT OUT THIS COUPON. with any it out six of Coupons, 096, H., these 998, 999, 1,000" and ‘1,001 mit duuet give your NAME, Band Please be careful to mention ALDEBS. not only the city tn which you live, but the borough also. All children up to may become members premented with a six and membership certifical COUPON 996. ee different from the girls’, usually represent popular characters ke Kintaro, the hero of their folk- tale, and Momotaro, with his animals and military oes of Japan's his. tory.’* Here Jamie, who had again begun te look bored, brightened and Mateden with renewed interest while the priest told that toy armor and sometimes old swords were Amportant parts of the boys, and the thought of a festival this day is sweet flag, called ‘‘shobu,"* which means “military virtue.'* The suit of armor pleased the two boys and the thought of a festival all devoted to dolls made Alice and the South Sea Island girl jump for joy and promise to come back to Ja- pan to 6 it next year, But the Pirate winked a sly little wink that only he could appreciate. They had not gone far on their around-the-world journey, and he felt tairly certain that they would be in for they some country far from Japan on the third day of the third month and tn another equally distant on the fifth day of May, TT “THERE AINT A WHOLE LOT OF HEAT UNITS IN MONEY, EVEN IF IT WOULD BE BURNED IN A HOME FURNACE A DOLLAR BILL AT A TIME.” tinued, “you would quick see a lot of people going out of the Pallum Beach suit business, y’understand, because people manufacturers goods to be sold and not to be seized. No merchant ix going home to his wife night after night and say: ** ‘Well, Mommer, I done a wonder- ful day's business to-day. The Gov- ernment seized over five thousand dollars worth of goods on me, and I've got such a strong pull with them follers, that if I’m tn luck they'JI come round next week and seize ten thou- sand dollars worth more.’ “Doing business under such condl- tions ain't being a merchant, Maw- russ, It's being a fall guy or goat, and coal merchants ain't no different from any other merchants in that re- spect." “But I was speaking to Max Mal- min at lunch yesterday, Abe,” Morris said. ‘He lives out at Wasten.ere Park, L. I, and he says he don't know what he's going to do for coal next winter. Every coal dealer out there is asking $26 a ton for coal ex- cept the Wastemere Coal and Lum. ber Company and they're asking $19." “Well, why don't Max buy his coal from them?" Abe inquired. ALMA LULA LLL LLL LLL LALLA LL CONDUCTED BY ELEANOR SCHORER Merlmutter. “They're all dut of coal for the time being," Morris said. “And when the other dealers are all out, Mawruss, they'll sell coal at $19, too,” Abe remarked, “because coal ts like other merchandise; when the supply is low and the demand high, merchants which ain't got goods in stock is always willing to cut prices. But the Government is going such a merchant one bette Mawruss: It is willing to cut prices on coal without even being in the coal business, let alone having coal in stock, y'understand. Therefore, Mawruss, any one who expects to g2t heat at Government prices, y*unde! stand, will have to burn what the Government has got to offer, which is the price and not the coal, and there ain't a whole lot of heat units in money even if it would be burned tn a home furnace a dollar bill at a= time.”” A LITTLE MOLLYANNA STUFF. “Then what is going to bring down the price of coal?’* Morris asked. “Coal will,” Abe said, ‘with a little assistance from kerosene oli, heavy = winter underwear and, tf we have luck this winter, good sunshiny’ weather; and the sunshiny weather the only thing that can be had with out money, Mawruss."" “But f£ the miners wouldn't mine the coal, Abe, you are arguing like Mollyanna and not a merchant,’” Morris remarked, Say!" Abe exclaimed. ‘‘You and me has been through a whole lot of strikes from both ends. When we was garment operators we struck, and when we worked our way up to be bosses ‘or ourselves our employees struck, and there always come a time in the strike whem It looked like the strikers was off of making garments for the rest of thelr lives and the manufacturers Was going permanently out of business, Mawruss, but some- how’ or another, Mawruss, a few weeks later the strikers was back making garments and the manufac- turers was busy selling them, and the nearest the Government came to tn- terfering was when somebody got his skull fractured from peaceful picket- tng.”* “So you think that plenty of coal will soon be on the market again?’’ Morris asked. “Well,"* Abe concluded, “if any ar- ticle disappears for the time being, Mawruss, the best way to get it back again is to offer a reward and not punishment.”’ Copyright, 1922, by the Bell Syndicate, Ine. When the pieces of this puzzle have been cut out and properly put together, the picture shows two pirates fighting for the possession of a sea chest full of precious treasure.