The evening world. Newspaper, August 22, 1922, Page 24

| Theatrical News a — te gEREerne reer on By: BIDE TPO OO APO AeO. Ae When the world seems full of trouble And you feel you'd like to swear, When you see no silver lining To your black cloud of despair, When you look and feel disheart- ened And you're sure you've got the blues, Beat it home and find the feathers— Take a good old snooze. When you're certain you've been handed A big lemon al! around, When your throat gives forth a grumble Ev'ry time it makes a sound, When with discontent you're teeming From your hat down to your shoes, it home feathers— Take a good old Beat and find the snooze, OBSERVATIONS. Since he's called Shuffiin’, it's no wonder he selected the Cards for his note. There is always room at the top— for the biggest apples in the barrel. The plan to send the Negroes to Africa seems to have begun to fall bout the time watermelons ap- peared on the market. A Wellsville man found a toma- Good Evening ! DUDLEY CUI POEMS OF PREFERENCE Taylor R. H. of White Plains wants a nice wife and has asked us to assist in the search for one, He View 6 writes of her as follows: Give me a girl who can sew and darn, For I have need of her; My socka are full of awful hotes, And I'm forlorn, yes, sir! She need not have a lot of dough, Tul take care of that end; I want a wife who'll darn my eooke, My toes eure need a friend. SSS air and settled over the ehoul- ders of the doctor. “This is not in accordance with the ethics of the medical profes- sion,” said Dr. Mumps, Of course, he didn’t mean that, ae he was not a regular practi- tioner. He was a graduate of the Hokus Medical School, which, as you know, has no standing in the medical world. Bo Tessie just “poofed” him. It was a tense situation. What if he were the crook the news- papers credited him with being? Maybe he was a bootlegger and maybe he wasn't Tessie de- cided to learn the truth. “Are you a bootlegger?” she demanded, ‘The doctor laughed. Toady laughed. ‘Tessie laughed. All seemed merry. (To Be Continued.) We Are Rebuked. Several young ladies, having read hawk in a field near the town last|°UF recent rhyme about the tongue week. He is thinking of presenting ft to some cigar-store Indian. Why the Delay? Bud Lake says he doesn't expect to begin wearing socks for the win- ter until Oct. 1 this year.—Leesville (Col.) Light. TAXICAB TESSIE. (A story that would melt a heart of stone.) Tessie was not afraid of Toady Allen, the yegg. On the contrary, sae knew she could frighten him into disclosing the whereabouts of the diamonds if necessary. So when he pro- duced his lariat and threatened to lasso her she merely grinned. “You're crazy,” she said. At that juncture the sliding panel in the ceiling opened and down came Dr. Gustave Mumps, a dagger in his hand. “Now I've got ghouted. Tessie stepped back. Then she stepped forward; then side- wi you,” he “Oh, I wouldn't say that.” she said. “Swish!” Toady’s lariat flew through the of a woman, have pooled their brains end made reply, This is the way they rebuke ua: Oh, Dudley, dear, we women sing, Thy wit, 86 keen, ao bright, Reminds us of the serpent's tongue That darts from left to right. Thy mouth, so straight and bitter sweet, Hath lips so tightly strung, Which, ah! alas! on opening, Disclose a man's been stung. Very Sweet. “Dear Dud,” writes D. F. M. of Middletown, “I asked the pippin who waited on me at the lunchroom here if she didn’t use to work in Flo Ziegfeld’s place and she sald: ‘No, the only place I ever worked was the Hudson Lunch in Newburgh.’ Sweet ignorance, eh?” AND NOW PERMIT US. To suggest that the Rev. Cyrus Prebble of Philadelphia, who de- livered a sermon to the deaf and dumb in a New York asylum yes- terday, probably spoke off-hand. ILBERT MILLER, who calls @ himself Steward of the Charles Frohman Company,” fs announcing the plans of his firm. While abroad he obtained from Ferenc Molnar that author's latest play, "The Swan," which will be produced fn New York by the middle of the season. Molnar sold him, an option on his next three plays, In Paris Mr. Miller acquired a play by Henri Bataille also, The producer has ar- ranged to stage Granville Barker's next play and Alfred Sutro's “The Laughing Lady." In Amer: Miller has acquired plays by Zoe Akins, Edward Sheldon, Booth Tar- Kington and Arthur Richman. The. E Theatre will open on Sept. 25 with Henry Miller and Ruth Chatterton + E iie's “La Ten- aire will open the About Plays and Players with the end in view of putting Shu- bert vaudeville in the Miles theatres in Cleveland, Detroit, Scranton and Wilkes-Barre, “OLD BILL” AGAIN, Sam H, Harris has obtained the American rights to “Old Bill, M, P.," a London comedy success. It deals with the famous character created by Bairns{ather, JULIA'S BIRTHDAY, Julla Sanderson will have a birth- day to-day and she will celebrate it on the stage of the Casino, where she made her first appearance as a the- atrical luminary, It was as a chorus eirl In “Winsome Winnte” that the “Tangerine” star made her debut. We don't know which birthday it te, That is none of our business, dresse."” Ina pS Henry Miller Theatre on Sept, 18 in “The Awful Truth,” by Arthur Rich OH, DOCTOR! man. William Gillette will appear in] Alice Cavanaui ue, Dear," at New York under Gilbert Miller's di- [the Times Square » Strained an rection, and Zoe Akins's new play her night in a dance with “Greatness,” featuring Jobyna How il. ‘The next evening, be- land, will have some preliminary she had a phy- performances in Detroit t, He said it ct. 16, Otis Skinne Miss Cavanaugh tour in ‘Mister An’ and Doris and he did, while Keane will tour in “The Czarina,”* né prevailing styles cream sudas with Madeline BEN AMI SAILS. Grey. At the suggestion of Frank Reich- use “said the physician finally. er the Selwyns nt Ben Ami} yt On Mt abroad Die Wanderlichen | gc avanaugh obeyed and the Se GNA Penge ae gaked how the ankle felt, New York us e ious Tules |” Ea) aia ane,” of Hottman,” with Ben Ami in’ thea cen omer! You know Allce Cav- #tellar role The Messrs, Shubert are pegotiat- tow with Charles H, Miles, of Detroit, anaugh is very beautiful, GOSSIP, Barney Klawans won the Friars’ golf tournament. Ask him for a taste of the prise, | JOE’S CAR y'comicar un’ LorevPop —! DO YOU REALIZE Youll. Have ‘A CAR BEFORE Yoy'RE A DAY OLDER ? 7 HERE'S A MAN COMING WITH A \_REK . ROADSTER IN FIVE minutes ! WELL LUKE -‘uR | NFES COUSIN EDDIE COME MY NEw SON-IN-LAW “To-DAY ¢ LITTLE MARY MIXUP <GUZIZZ RA 4 You wit MaKe. FACES AT Me- WILL Yor = WA. AT THe Cap, ER (TRY, Bre, World) By Pram Pub Co KATINKA NouVE BEEN TRYING To GET FIRED ALL WEEK WITHOUT SUCCESS, AN’ HERE'S YouR CHANCE. | YOUR MADAM HAS THE LAUNDRESS WORKING HERE ALL DAY AND SHE JUST HUNG THe WASH — On THE ROOF ! Go UP AN’ TAKE EM ALL DOWN THATLL GET MRS. GESSIT Furious! TUESDAY, AUGUST 22, 1922 | “AND WE'LL START RIGHT OFF ON OUR ANNUAL ToUR —— WHY He. ONLY MARRIED WouR DAUGHTER wit WH’ OBSECT OF PAYIN' OFF Hid "CREDITORS WITH HER § Bowery = Hef Mom? we Gor SOME PoTATEEs For we Mane races ff TALE GRoceRY Boy KATINKA! WHO Toon ALL OUR WASH OFF THE LINE ? NOW REMEMBER GIRLS ACT AS FRENCHY AS POSSIBLE = I CAN Jus’ FEEL TH'WHEELS ROLLING UNDER, wey DID'NT You MENTION HS BEFORE ? Just Wait Until the Watermelon Man G. AW. WHAT BD 4 MAKE Us QuiT. FoR? Quick! Here's THe Bie | OF SALE! GIMME “TH! CHECK ! MY WIFE'S FOLLOWING IN A TAxt ! SHE DON'T WANT ME To SELL (T SO CHEAP II! a tHAN oes By! HED A THREW STEP MAKING Faces AT THAT PooR f ITALIAN @ T'S JUST BEGINNING TO PouR AND I'D HAVE PAID THAT LAUNDRESS = FoR NOTHING TL WON'T DARE SHOW MOTHER THIS GOWN= SHE'LL WANT VT FOR SOME BANANAS T Don'T KNOW WHY KATINKA «Ss CHASING ME wiTH THAT CLUB BuT | I'M AFRAID To STOP AN IF YVONNE CAN BEAT THIS SRE DESERVES AU! “Lonely Wives" will open at the|‘The Gingham Girl,"* : Y \ e Gingham Girl," will direct the Eltinge Theatre Thursday evening, estra when that show begins at sure. the Earl Carroll, Aug, 28, Arman Kallz says he has arran, for a production of in Paris. Albert d Lotus Robb will leave the '"Kempy" cast after this week. She ts to sail for Europe soon, John Sheehan, comedian, has given “Spice of Ve Tilwer, composer of the films the go-by and will principal in the new “Greenwich Vil- lage Follies."’ Whitford Kane arrived last night|‘Wo bananas and & potato and is from Los Angeles and will begin re-| thinking of qultting the grocery hearaing ® DOW comedy of his own 00D, FOOLISHMENT. Hoochie, koochie, baby boy, Squeegee snookums cutie! be a] A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. Elmer Hicks has learned to juggle store tes the stagey—Wellaville Optic.) Maybe dot a cootie! Squirm and squiggle, Uitle dear! PUT IT IN THE ACT, “Why is an eclipse like a man whipping his boy?” “Make applesauce.” “No, because it is hiding the pum