The evening world. Newspaper, March 31, 1913, Page 18

.NO. 18,850 STRAINING AT THE IMPOSSIBLE. A‘ the opponents of reseonsble Sunday lawe wes one that said: “The bill will be passed not because it is right but simply as @ remedial measure to prevent greft. Why not-repeal the law against stealing? People pay ‘to steal just as they Pagpte keep saloons open, The same thing is true of arsop, musder andyother crimes.” Betore the logic or the pertinence of this argument is esasidered eetBallenge runs to the tacts. Ip no city of our time have dyieves, feomaiiarigs and murferere obteined such vomparative immunity feumetow as have.men that wiah to sell becr on Hunday to these that Ceirte drink it. Strange as it may ecem to epeciclicts on Gunday lepep-meenkind through sort of instinct feels and recognises » dif- fapenee between in drinking.» glass of beer on any day end committing yonder or ‘ther setting fire to a neighbor's bern. deciare the present excise Jews cowl be an- fiameed if only we hed officials that would not perjure theirs cathe of ees. A vain declaration. No oficial in a free country can enforce eterract-custained by pablic opinion. Nor, indeed, has eumpmary legfslation-eversbeen. impartially enforced even undere despotism. —_———4¢->—_——— WHAT IS A FASHIONABLE CHURCH? HEM the President of the Christian Endeavor Union of the District of Columbia asked President Wilson, “Can : these.be euch « thing as a feshionable church?” he fur- nifielteccicty with « fine theme for discussion et pink. tess or for lelowre hours after bridge is exhausted. It is narrated that e New Englander in the presence of the frst Gielle he bad ever som turned to his wife and swore, “By heck! ‘Here ain’-n0 such animal.” This wes an exclamation of faith or of eaopticism, according es yeu construe it; but the question whether tere cam be euch o thing ese feshionable churcl tmposes s bigger train on the intellest tiem thet of the pomible exigtence of any pictured in ite pouters. wpon o time there-wes 6 > durch in this town. knowares the “Church of the Holy Fitrters.” tb TF against -the nse of: MUA evens as 8 perede ground ; fot prouslounaialiiidrls comes naturally enough from thoge Ps: } ‘that ertth to-wefiton- wérive, for « promenade or for business. 2 omy Reine edge etter gpa Carers csatnes o te tev Yer Yacht featgOup hes beenansnimously approved et a general weeting Mbe-club bolds-the cup. The challenger and the public hae am rer mel out of @ club thet doesn’t \ vaalhne vege 5 sae mney P veant'te ‘einer however, to know the why and where- aw this so unanimous objection to further contests in « sories ing which the club has been so uniformly successful, There was plory;in winning the cup, there has been glory in defending it, but there is 20 glory in holding it by Jegaliam. When the yachting season comes and the home seas are bright ‘wits the beauty of white wings flying with the breeze and dancing ‘witle the waves; when the minds of men grow free under the spell of winds end waters, there will be rejoicing round our coaste and (gladness in our hearts; yet ever and anon through the joy will come the poet's terse version of what the wild waves are saying: i “The only thing that gets my goat Is why we sidestep Lipton’s boat.” Letters From the People @uarter dollar and five-pointed stars the other? =. @, P, LANMANN, Bor an Neeentric Teacher. 16 we divide 9 by 0 ond 8 O7 the Bifitor of The Exening World: ( wish thet inspired and imaginative would help out myself and ether high echool puptis by sug- © few topes appropriate Cor a BUB-GRADUATE. de snopes "| which was 1-7 less than she first re-| Mrs. J (open-mouthed)-Why, Freddie] Ors. B (etumped for a moment)—Te-es. | borrowing the bungetarter from Etmer, to prove that!to “A Correspondent?” , he Evening World Daily Magasine, Monday, March 31, Gud in refusing to accept Lipton’s challenge for the Amer. |*™a0y i, it. may be conceded the position is beyond the reach |*7* in his proof. He states: ‘Let xey. 1 ‘Ble of The Ereing World: Then tx=2y and 3x=3y. Subtracting, "Gam ainy reader toll me why there|%x—inety—2y, Then 2x—fy=x--ty. Guqvinted etare on one side of| Factoring, 2 (x-y)~3 (x—y). Dividing ity” clear: 4tded; 44202; deeded; Arter; dre 4+Mnts, It wit be notiod that the divisor Js getting emalier and appreaching sero; and tf Graduation essay which) we keep on decreasing the value of an eccentric teacher and at) the divisor we wil ultimately arrive Meme would be interesting to/ at » quotient so iarge that it would RN RSET ET ES EEE ST TT pe 19153 The Day of Rest i «23%=::. EXCuse ME IN, FOR WAKING EXCUSE ME AGAIN, JOHN, Rut I! WANT THis Couce COVER But t MUST HAVE This RUG Coprright, 1913, w ‘The Publ ng . (The y Yat Keenioe 9 No. 3—“THE THREE MUSKETEERS,” by Alexandre Dumas a: D'ARTAGNAN arrived in Paris with no assets except @ long qword (at whose use he was a genius), an amazingly level head tor a boy of twenty, and a few silver pieces. He had come to seek admittance to the Royal Musketeers. D'Artagnan began his Paris career by offending three redoubtable Musketeere—Athos, Porthes and Aramis, and found himself at once with three mortal duels on tis hands, But by taking his opponent's part against a band of Cardinal Richelles’s guards he won the lasting friendship of the trio. | Louis XIII. was King of France. Richelieu was his Prime Mintsten Richeltew’e followers and those of the King were ever at swords’ point. Richelieu hated Anne of Austria, the Queen of France, and sought to éle grace her in the eyes of the King. His chance came soon after d’Artagnan’s arrival in Paris. The English Duke of Buckingham was a hopeless admirer of Annee, In r@fecting his suit she bad given him a set of diamonds presented to hee betes en ane? by King Louis. Richelieu learned of this and nent a apy of hin, Lady ¢o ? ba Nes” ¢ Winter, known as “Milady.” to ateal two of the studs. He then persui tes Ne the King ¢e order Anne to wear the diatnonds at a forthcoming court ball. ad W eet D’Artagnan went post haste to England to recover the diamonds and bring them back to Anne in time for the ball. Athos, Porthos and Aramis set out with him. But one after another they were detained on the road by spies of the Cardinal. D’Artagnan fulftied his mission (two extra studs being made to take the place of those Milady had atolen), and brought the full number of diamonds back to the Queen barely in time te baffle Richeleu's plot. But Richeliew at ones eourht to avenge his fallure upon @'Artagnan. Com etance Benacioux, whom the voung man loved, was kidnapped. Milady, too hate? and worked for his ruin. Throwghout the complications d’Artagnaite shrewd brain, peerless sword and his friends’ loyalty enabled the youth to hol@ ‘nio own egainst the Cardinal's boundiess power. D'Artagnan was no swash buckler, Though he was always fighting, he never did so except for some carefully planned ristive of self-advancement. It was an age when success, ond swordemanship went hand in hand. f Athos, in earlier days, had been married to a peasant girl. Finding her & branded ex-convict, he had, as he believed, put her to death. D’. by accident learned that this supposedly executed felon wan Milady, and this iscovery mede her his mortal foe, Lord de Winter, her brother-in-law, hag’ hor arreste@ and eent to an English prison. There she not only. cajoied hep! Jailer, @ young Puritan fanatic named Felton, into setting her f! but goadeg™ * a CUSE ME JONN BuT him into murdering her enemy, the Duke of Buckingham. Then ig 60 eles HAVE. 6 Notun 1 Tiida out her scheme of hatred against d'Artagnan, she went to thé IESE RUGS ON Tis RooF Ao |flding place of Constance Bonacteux, with whom d'Artagnan was about to oe reunited efter long search for her, and killed the luckless git! J De Winter, with d'Artagnan and the three guardsme: captured the murderess. Knowing Cardinal, they realised they could not hope to obtain ji o they, took the law into their own hands, tried her, c: and had her beheaded at dead of night by-an executioner whose brother shé hed long ago wronged. DArtagnan toek ¢rom her a warrant from the Cardinal to the effect “what the bearer had dene was by Richelicu's orders and for the good oe execution was also still upon him. He wae tired an) | eae | unequal game and in « fine mood to die bravely, ie However, in confessing his share in Miladyw he ahowed the Cardinal the warrant he had taken her, Richeiieu destroyed ft. D’Artagnan gave-himeelf upaor Joo! ] well resigned. to his fate. 7 an) Richelieu had a secret edmiration for the captives wit and gtudt | ree handed him an official paper. Instead of a death warrant, as the youne-wmay”’ had expected, it was @ commission as Heutenant in the Royal office that had ever been the acme of hie dreams. ” ‘Yet before accepting it d’Artagnan offered the commission, successively, sobed each of his three friends. They refused it. The book closes with 4’, geent at she summit of his ambition—yet still mourntng for his lost love, for Mr. Mr. Jarr Goe Goes Around Dispensing happy illusions, for all he had sacrificed in wooing the iron goddess, Success. : th lh ta theta tet Rite Povo] jean unex |makere ead milliners will tell you that /!mported hats"— Under the rules of the White House ; Queenstown and New York, covering, co |these tittle shope—depending on factories! “‘Cheriots and Autelle and Francios|for the winter of 1912-18 the Cabinet |the distance in four days ten hours that make advance atyles especially for| models with pressed quills and osprey | 7.eets yey se vient: Wart forty-one minutes. ithem—ere putting the uptown drese-| plumes that are distorted fantasies? And g era add milliners out of tusiness.|the quiet pastel shades of say tete-de- bation, ich tera aah sell nte xen Cictenn Miata ant little aster | “Say no more!” said Mr. Jerr, “Blow|negre, such as the tailored hat that | cept Cabinets by appointments previous-| with 138 persons on board, wae never faster, you ere are big re-|much will @ nice hat cost?’ created guch @ eensation in Paris whee | ty axed. heard from. @uctions. And have you noticed all the | ‘Well, wasn't I telling you that they| the Cherict mantkin first wore {t {n the —_— an ‘ Httle hat and gown shops that are |are marking down all the unsold Faster! Bols—I mean ‘Bw-awwh!’" asked Mr.| At the age of ty Phoebe M.} In New York City there were in force sprtnging up ell ever town? Dress- ‘hats, ‘and one can get perfect dreams, | Jarr, ‘Wowley-Palmeter, the iast daughter of }up to September 2, 1912, liquor tax! ‘Mrs, Jarr’s mouth quivereé. “I might|@ Revolutionary Wer, Jonathan jeertificates for 1,877 hotels and 8,618 have known you were feoling me,” she Pty ‘om the pension roll, died April | for ealoons, clubs, etc. “ whimpered. — . i a ‘The property loss by fir Do mes tic D ialo gucs “But Cu not!” cried Friend Glushend.| mye steamship Mauretania of the|United States in 1012 In entimated a bys decau “4 I ieee es ao, I jer Gusera line in September, 1910, made aah 1,000,000, In 1931 it was #21700, —_— ad @ most horrific experies with | the fastest trip on record between 5 _? —_ By Alma Woodward flocrwalker named Mullagetawney and u a! Jarr clutched at her heart. @ head saleswoman Paris-buyer-of-hats Se, ceromssmaesegerter| — “Reghawiiners fenton Sect, rome vnl ts woah eer Se [| The May Manton Fashions | asked. than I hat Dvery ttle thiag/the up-to-date little lids for my cute: “Why, no,” cepted Etariem's Beat Fine Neighborlines atects me something terriolat Why, T|but it can't be done! ‘That ta # can't The ay anton Fashions ‘at & drank, how could I bh Ey} cried myself sick over an article about |be done by a human man!” ys canrecene Le] ef @ nico het for my chic slows poor man being evicted because he| “You didn't pick one gor me, though, a fevaar with tae |S, POT mae money one horse rece. {dia your” asked Bia, Jarr, and there Arenson are a0 ox- Mr. B (solemnly)—It's a frightful) was even more anguish in her tones. pea ems ally practical thing to think ef any man or family! “No, nor did I murder the Dillworthy ane pie sesroad an being evicted because the rent is over-| or crush the proud epirit of Mr, Mulla- that girls are sure due. It ought to make people think, getewney by pulling tts eitewhiskers. want © g Uh Mre.:B (cagerly)—Yes, an’ 1am think-| But I saw the tete-Genesre, and the jenorane ing. Why, I was just thinking yester-| griddle with the osprey plume that fs ‘him in es- ‘reed. ea acne ‘ sehr the fi t TLLTE (making « dive for him) joms of tottering mentality? Was Gay, Por gimme che papers the keenest drain tn @ ealaried position wilt yuh? 2 wanta eco the im the all wholesale woollen trade bel funny pictures. clouded while ite possessor wee in Qire. @ (aternly)—Hew often have I prime of life? And yet, and yet? ARG! tog you, willl tra you cannot kek ber. This one is as gim- ple as st J# emare in ef- Mre. again. And Gay what I would do if I should hap-| contorted fantasy! And these very fect #o that it would be OC gh gi Bad lat the papers unt your elders BAVC! Den to Know about such a case. How| hands touched the tailored model that quite easy for the git pur speaking more tke a friend than o| completely finished with them? Td shelter even my worst enemies and i etiey soc tae Gee (t can be utilized Ger a great variety of ma- ‘tertals. In the iMustra- tion, eponge is trammed with nen and the @ittle chemisette is of daimty | net. White nen oF rT ‘Wille (@isconsolately)—Yeh. An’ then |help those who had said untru things ° “ lacpesr look so surprised,” eaid Mr.| {t's past my bedtime, As’ then they're} about me and everything! We should| “Oh, what a dear you ere!” cried Mrs. Jerr. “But the fact ts, I have @ Mttle| stale the next day. be able to wipe out all ened 4 pared a, Fa adie Caen eee eee | Mr. B (admiringly)What peoullar!don't you think so redate lon’ el” ir, Sarr, “E wi know what's coming inio people nows. y that, But it Rangle thoughta the boy.bes. Almost weird, I Sam Loyd’s Puzzles. Je going to get his wife a new spring reall "emp And it’s hat, and if Gus, et the corner, is going pique would be pretty , ‘Wille (realising he has made bi)—! wimnout that brotherly spirit of stand-| to get his wife s spring hat”— with eallar and cuttoof Gay, Pop, o'n yuh RAD ‘em tome? ing together? What !s life without]. ‘Never mind THEM!" interrupted Mre. B (opening he paper)—My, my!| friends? I was always one to want to| Mis. Jarr with a smile in ¢rfute to her I eve by the paper thet the Mayor 1s! ee] that my neighbors were part of my | exquisite taste in millinery, going te shut up all the cabaret places! tite. THOSE women buy will be horror: and things at 1 efclock. Isn't that} ‘Wille (who, up to this time had been| And she kissed Mr, Jarr again and filling @ long felt want)—@fa, is Mrs | voiced no objecti.n when he sald he had Green a neighbor? @ didn't (technically)—De you mean| Mrs, B (hesitating @ moment)—Yes, ik him the errand, but rushed out he going to shut them up, or| Why, darling? kitchen to tell Gertrude to @z up it awful? ‘Willle—Well, she met me on the street | something nice for supper for Mr. Jarr. ar. B (indlatinctly)—Why's 't awful? [this morning she ast if I couldn't] Mr. Jarr, meanhile, went about the Mra B (very dimtinctly)}—Wh; up some time an’ play with her) neighborhood diapensing sweetness and cause @ person can't go end hi Johnnle. light. He rang the dell of the Rangle (peaceful club sandwich and a glass of| Mra. B (quiskly)--You can WOT! apartments first. % | beer, after 1 e'clock, if they've @ mind} Mr. B (quietly)—Why can't he? “Is Mr, Rangte home?” he asked, FARMER JONES'§ CHICKIBNG —Jofies | to, Mrs, B (indignantly)—Principally be- ‘was not eurprised to hear he If we should sei off 7% chickens| afr, B (dryly)—Poople who eat peaceful | cause I don't wish him ¢o. I don't Uke t of feed would laat just 2 40y8! uy sandwiches wouldn't have s mind] the look of the family, ‘Well, he said, “he and T agreed to to after } o’cloc—that's the reason he's} ‘Willie (defiantiy)—They’re grand p*0-| buy OUR wives spring hats, and we shutting ‘em. ple! The elevator boy ees #0. He se3/ each put up twenty dollars, and I was Mrs. B (bearing cut her argument)—| Mrs, Green's sister’s got a automodile/ to glok the hats, But, Mrs. Rangle, as any chickens bave) veg, but just think how many peopl " that she's the only dame in the]? said before a few times, it CAN'T be any asked his wife it's going ¢o put out of business AM | house what is outt done! Here te your twenty—YOU do the WER TO Ko salheh te Riese those places that diane pay before, aad/ Mre. B (furiously)—Indecd! Well, / picking! But,” he added, “beware of ‘The three daughters together recelved now, since they've put in Gancing,| that doean't alter my fon one bit. | the Mullagetawney! looks cute, but 435 per annum. ‘Phe first year Phoebe, the | they're dolag a ahaa You can’t play with AOpen you can't] it may aes iy a Pattern No. 7826—Semi-Princesse Dress for Missee f,,cUt ', sisen colored. terial trimmed — gored ekirt, The is closed to the My, ‘the front. i inches wide, 46-8 ‘M4, or 43-8 yards 1-2 yard 27 for the and cuffs and $8 18 for the eidest, wan 10 re of age; Martha] aie, B (interrupting impatiently) —dow | piay with any ether child in this house | And he was gone. and Gmail Women, 16 and 18 Yeare. year of age, Vou 8 years, and nn, 2 years, ‘They! on earth cam you apend se much breath| Understand? BM doem't pay to get too] At Gus's place ent up the back recelved respectively $17.00, 4 and) arguing a pertectly inconsequential | familiar with people who live in the/atairs to the lving apartments. $3.60, Five years later, when the sixth] thing like that, when there are eo many] same house with you Qus's wife he repeated his tale and left payment was due, thelr combined ages) tragic things happening every day ta] ‘Wille ‘pursled) aut, Qda, ain't they/ the hat money Gue had given him. amounted to B. Phoebe received $5,/ New York? neighbors? ‘Then he went down to the cafe, and, Martha received $13, belng $1] Brown, no one ever accused me of} (Sudden interruption.) But Ser aren'tithe bartender, on a plea that he de Reartlessnese before! I'm sure F going to be evicted, are they sired to trim his @ails, he eat and waited Gret.ceeze =e one in the mrorid that's cot a Mr, B (Geadishly. cieetulbeetew! haw! (or.tusané Bape