The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, March 25, 1906, Page 7

SETTINGACUAINT r"fi— ay be set down as | a proposition is private e, but when he < deep and waters he cal paper speaks of capital letters, and he would be sive s a country boy at t he falled to that he was a very large gun. emoth and Business Bel seconds, he sets nted with medieval re and the work of the old He i just as helpless 2nd ap- oney The guides and cabmen bullyrag and beggars pester him fidren in the street gh at his Kansas City fedora. s shop the polite i the showcase charges him gives oim bad money for e he is in & strange man's nis local importance a foreign language. sot talk back imme- becomes & weakling. s the chief terror to travel? It esomeness of feeling that one to the un 5 mselt does feeling of ie most overwhelm- ingland in certainty that e English lax if he kicks on the ries & great deal of hand lothes do mot fit him y be mistaken for an s great joy never awaits talk about myself, yet - —» 5 5 | ¥ N today's tssue of the Sunday Call there ix presentell to the many readers of this papcr the first of # series of articles being prepared (n London by G Ade, the well-kpown Indiann humorist, who, under the title of res New,” proposes to euligiten and amuse the Amerlenn readers with his experiences abroad, ewpeciaily in his cffort to mnrter the unadulteratcd Suxon language and familiartze himaelf with the customs, soclally and otkernise,.of the people of the Bastern hemisphere, — | Heretofore we have kmown titis promising author as a high priest of Now we discover him meefing with the grcut ones of Engjand, and, with slang mow and then battling for supremncy, he is tryfug to tell us of Bis sppreciation of the epportunity to “get the English lauguage fiewt hand amd revel in §ts sublimities znd to gaze down mew und awe-inspiring vistax of rhetorical splendor.” In this series of talks the nuthor takes up the predicament in which a man finds himself when suddenly set down amid unfamiline ~éenes and strange enviromments. Ade, typical American, finds himself in this prediea- ment in Londen. A feeling of lomesomeness overcomes kim because he findy bimself n forelgner speaking a strange tongue. | “4 few Americans,” he writes, “say fifty or more in Doston and several | ta New York, are said to speak English In spets. Very often they fam, but | sometimes they hit the ball. By patient endeaver they have mustered the sound ef ‘a’ ny In fathér, but they continue o eall a clerk a clerk lustead of & ‘clark, and they mever have gained the courage to say ‘deftenagt.’ They wander on the suburbs of the English language, nihbling at the ecdges, as it were. it was for the simple vet laudable desire to overcome the mysicries of Chaucerian Fuglish that this premier and purveyor of serambled language recently crossed the Atlamtie Ocenn, n trip which fo itself furnished Ade | with some experiences that lie had not contemplnted and which he describes in his own peculiar way in the first of hix Iuteresting articies. If you are seeking amusing Hternture—Iiiterature thnt will keenly appeal to the West- ern reader, as did the storfes of Mark Twain, with whom, us u humorist, Georze Ade is belng classed by many critics—you will have that desire gratified in the fortheoming tules of this young author “In Pastures New” - = —% nent shopkeepers on or in the Strand, to say nothing of having chatted almost in a salrit of democratic equallty with some of the most representative waiters, I still feel as if I were a little child play- ing by the seashore while the great ocean of Britieh idloms lies undiscovered before me. Yesterday, however, 1 had the rare and almost delirious pleasure of meeting an upper class Englishman. He has famlily, social position, wealth, several capital letters trailing after his name (which is lcng enéugh withopt an appendix), an aneastry, a glorious past and passibly a future. Usually an American has to wait in London eight or ten years before he meets an Englishman who is not trying to sell him dress shirts or something to put on his hair. In two short days— practically at one bound—I had realized the full ambition of my countrymen. Before being presented to the heavy swell I was taken into the chambper of meditation by the American who was to accompany me on this flight of glory. He prepared me for the ceremony by whis- pering to me that the chap we were about to meet went everywhere and saw everybody; that he was a varsity man and had shot big game and had a place up country and couldn’t remember the names of all his clubs—had to hire a man by the year just to remember the names of his clubs. May I confess that I was immensely flattered to know that I could meet this important person? When we are at long range we throw bricks at the aristocracy and landed gentry, but when we come close to'them we tremble violently and are much pleased if they differentiate us B @ THE LOCAL FRFLR JILRNS F AT IN BATED CAF/TAL v~ YIFTIIRE Y i to that kind of a table d'hote restaurant which serves an Itallan dinner for 60 cents. This restaurant was called a “spaghett! joint.” Mr. Lang declared that sellation was altogether preposter- is a' well-known fact that has no joints, being inverte- te and quite devold of osseous tissue, e same as a caterpillar. Also he thought t *“cinch” was merely a misspelling something to do with a kitch- en Now, if an American reeking with the sweet vernacular of his native land t make himself understood by one who is famillar with all the ins and outs of our language, what chance has he with the ordinary Londoner, who gets his vocabulary from reading the advertise- ments carried by sandwich men? This pititul fact comes home to every American when he arrives in London— there are two languages—the English and the American. One is correct; the other is incorrect. Onme is a pure and limpid stream; the other is & stagnant pool, swarming with bacllll. In front of a shop in Paris is a sign, “English spoken —American understood.” This sign is just as misleading as every other sign in Paris. If our English cannot be un- derstood right here In England what chance have we among strangers? One of the blessed advantages of com- ing here to England is that every Amer- ican, no matter how old he may be or how often he hes assisted at the mas- sacre of the mother tongue, may begin to get a correct line on the genuine Eng- lish speech. A few Americans, say fifty or more in Boston and several in New York, are said to speak English In spots. Very often they fan, but sometimes they hit the ball. By patient endeavor they have mastered the sound of “a” as in “father,” but they continue to call & ¢rom the furniture of the room. WITH A RED EUIDFE BOOK CLITCHED. HELPLESSLY TN KW LEFT HAND > =~ trutafuiness that I have. clerk a clerk, instead of a “clark,” and for years to enrich the they never have gained the courage to Most of the time I say “leftenant.” They wander on the ears ahead of the dictionarfes. - suburbs of the English language, nib- een so far ahead of the diction- bling at the edges, as it were. Any one I fear tt living weet of Pittsburg Is still lost in hes beeg my priv- the desert. se words that are unknown to It ’s only when a pilgrim comes right rew Lang onmce here to the fountainhead of the 4 my works and then sank Chaucerian language that he can cry and did not come up drink deep and Tevive his parch- ed intellect. For three days I in my efforts to enrich have been camping here at the head- , language I made it too rich, waters of English. Although this Is my s mental gastritis. In fourth vicit to London and I have taken . my fables, written in pure and a thorough course at the music halls and undefiied Chicagoese, reference was made conversed with some of the most promi- e e result w ‘Why not tell the truth for once? I was tickled and overheated with bliss to know that this socfal llon was quite willing to sit alongside of me and breathe the ad- Jacent atmosphere. Also I was perturbed and stage frightened because I knew that I spoke nothing but the American langauge, and that probably I used my nose in- stead of my vocal chords in giving ex- pression to such thoughts as might escape from me. Furthermore, I was afraid that during our conversation I might accidentally lapse Into slang, and I knew that in Great Britain slang is abhorred apove every other earthly thing, except goods of German manufacture. So I resolved to be on my guard and try to come as near to English speech as it is possible for any one to come after he has walked up and down State street for ten years. My real and ulterior motive in wel- coming this interview with a registered Englishman was to get, free of charge, an allopathic dose of twenty-four carat’ English. I wanted to bask in the bright light of an intellect that had no flick- ers in it and absorb some of the in- fallibility that is so prevalent in these parts. We met. I steadied myself and sald: “Pm glad to know you—that s, I am extremely pleased to have the honer of making your acquaintance.” , He looked at me with a kindly light in his steel blue eyes, and after a short riod of deliberation spoke as follows: 'hanks.” “The International developments of recent years have been such as should properly engender a feellng of the warmest brotherhood between 11 branches of the Anglo-Saxon race, said. “I don’t think that any fair- minded American has it in for Great Britain—that is, it seems to me that all foriner resentment growing out of early conflicts between the two countries has given way to a spirit of tolerant un- derstanding. Do you not agr with me?” He hesitated for 2 moment, as if not desiring to commit himself by a hasty or impassioned reply, and then delivered himselt as follows: “Quite.” “It seems to me,” I said, following the same line of thought, “that fair- minded people on both sides of the water are getting sore—that ts, losing patience with the agitators who preach the old doctrine that our attitude toward Great Britain is necessarily one of enmity, We cannot forget that whe the European powers attempted to cone cert their influence against the United States at the outset of the late war with Spain you bluffed them out—that is, you induced them to relinquish their unfriendly intention: Every thought- ful man in America is on to this fact— that_is, he understands how important was the eervice you rendered us—and he is correspondingly grateful. The American people and the English peo- ple speak the same language, theoreti- ecally. . Our interests are practically iden- tical in all parts of the world—that is, we are trylng to do everybody, and so are you, What 1 want to convey s that neither nation can properly work out its destiny except by co-operating with the other. Therefore any policy look- ipg toward a severance of friendly re- lations is unworthy of consideration.” “Rot!” said he. “Ji at present all Americans are pro- foundly grateful to the British public for ‘ its gener aualities oug- g of our beloved Execut! ED WITH THE - FNGLIS I JANGUAGE TTER B BEIEF ,, FAUSE HE SPORE R FOLLOWS = BIPPING™ \ AND HOVERS OVER HIMT EVEN AL SIOTHEE HEV oo, oVEE RER TTRST DOEN of all sections have unbounded faith in him. We think he is on the level—that is, that his dominant policies are guided by the spirit of integrity. As a fair- minded Briton. who is keeping in touch with the affairs of the world, may 1 ask you your candid opinion of FPresident Roosevelt?” After a brief pause he spoke as fol- lows: “Ripping ‘The Iimpulse of friendliness om the part of the English people seems to be ore evident year by year, " I continued. “It is now possible for Americans to get into nearly all the London hotels. You show your faith in our monetary system by accepting all of the collateral we can bring over. No identification is necessar: Formerly the visiting American was as ed to give references before he was separated from his Income—that Is, be- fore ome of your business institutions would enter into negotiations with him. Nowadays you see behind the chin ‘whisker the beautiful trade mark of con- sanguinity. You say, ‘Blood is _thicker than water,” and you accept a five dol- lar bill just the same as If it Were an English sovereign worth four dollars and eighty-six cents.” “Jolly glad to get it.” said he. “Both countries have adopted the gos- pel of reciprocity,” I said, warmed by this sudden burst of enthusiasm. “Wa send shiploads of tourists over here. You send shivloads of English actors to New York. The tourists go home as soon as they are broke—that is, as scon as their funds are exhausted. The English actors come home as soon as they are inde- pendently rich. Everybody Is satisfled with the arrangement and the internation- al bonds are further strengthened. Of course, some of the English actors blow up—that s, fail to meet with any great measure of financial success—when they get out as far as Omaha, but while they are mystifying the American public some of our tourists are going around Lemdon mystifying the British public. Doubtless you have seen some of these tourists?” The distinguished person nodded his head In grave acquiescence and then said with some feeling, “Bounders!™ “In spite of these breaches of inter- national faith the situation taken as a whole is one promising an indefinite con- tinuation of cordial friendship between the powers,” I said: “I am darned glad that such is the case: ain't you?" “Awfully.” he replied. Then we parted. It is really worth a long sea voyage to be permitted to get the English language at first hand, to revel In its unexpected sublimities and gaze down new and awé- redognition of the sterling tinued. “Over in the States we think that inspiring vistas of rhetorical splendor *Icon- ‘Teddy’ is the goods—that is, the people (Copyright 136 by George Ade.)