The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, January 28, 1906, Page 9

A S = ' We're here to le A arn the farmer's trade: To Swmg a flail or to use a spade # % THE BEARS ON A FARM % % ACopyright, 1905, by Seymour Eaton. All rights reserved.) HE bears had learned from books they'd read That boys who want to get ahead Must start by learning the farmer’s tradej To split good rails and use a spade And hoe potatoes and log and plow, And sheer a sheep and milk a cow, Or drive a calf on a country road, Or break in steers to draw a load, Or pump up water from a well, Or take the things to town to sell, The bears were glad to have a chance To get a start toward high finance, T limb the ladder, round by round, e very top, where fame is found, t would stay a day to learn the trick, How farmer boys get ahead so quick. As they tramped along to the farmer’s yard, The black bear scolded good and hard About the mischief on the Pullman train, And being put off in & shower, of rain. Teddy G. declared that he'd be good If the farmer’s wife would give him food: The rules on farms he understood, And he'd do the very best he could. ] vy found the farmer splitting wood; . they stepped up bold and said “Good day; Do you want some hands to plant your hay? To dig your wheat? To SOW your eggs? k your milk In tubs or kegs? e to learn the farmer's trade; a flail or to use a spade. ymen now, and green at that, We're fre: We're here to study right off the bat. We learn new things at a lively rate And by 6 o'clock we'll graduate.” The farmer nearly lost his breath; The two bears scared him half to death, “The farm is yours,” the old man said “You have the job; now go ahead; You milk the cows and load the hay, And hoe potatoes for half a day, And feed the sheep and plant the corn, - And come to supper when we blow the horn.” The farmer gave them clothes to wear, And quit his work right then and there. And asked his neighbors from all around To come and see what he had found: Two bears let loose fromsa circus show, Or out of a 200, he didn’t know. The news had spread both near and far That bears had fallen from moon or star, Or bad tumbled off a rallroad car. Or had rambled over the fields to feed. Or had simply grown in the night from seed. They were there that day, this much was true, But where they game from, no one knev It Jack and Jill, who went up the hill, Or Margery Daw or her cousin’'Bill, Or little Bo-Peep, who lost her sheep, Or Humpty Dumpty on the wall asleep, Or little Jack Horner or Dickory Dock, . Or the three little mice who ran up the clock,? Or Old Mother Hubbard or the piper's som, Or thelr brothers and sisters every ome, Or the brindled cow who jumped over the moon Had seen the bears that afternoon, They'd have quit their work and lost their pay, And split their sides with laugh and play; At least that’s what the children say. For Teddy B. and Teddy G. Made farming hum in a different key. They hitched~two pigs to the farmer’s (low. And caught a goat and showed him how To hold the handles and steer the crown And make the clay turn upside down. The farmer’s horses and cows and sheep Came rambling near to take a peep. The black bear hired them one by ene ¥ . And said if their work was carefully done ¢ e would glve them each a dollar a’ day And at the end of the week would raise their pay. The horses were told to use their legs . And to get to work at gathering eggs. The sheep were given the corn to hoe, The potatoes to plant and the wheat to gow. The cows were asked some cheefe to make, A tub of butter and a ton of cake. A rooster was caught by Teddy G., And stood on & fence where all could see, And made to sing like a dickey bird, The funniest song you ever heard;' The geese and ducks and turkeys, too, 3 Had a hundred ahd fifty things to do. But the funniest caper of that day Wi with a machine for cutting hay An.; oats and stuff for horses’ feed. Teddy G. was bold; he wouldn't heed ‘When the farmer’s boy said, “It has a fit; If you start that chopper, it will never quit.” But Teddy G. never scared a bit, He let it go full lickety split, And piled in the straw and oats and hay, ‘When his coat got caught in the wheels some way, And he got mixed with hay and straw, His hair and clothés from head to paw. It took two men and Teddy B. 5 e _ How farmer boys get ahead so auick. . From half-past 2 to half-past 3, To get him loose from the old machine, ‘With his trousers up where his coat had been, The most upset bear that was ever seen. He was half an hour in getting clean, And rubbing ofl his sores to cure. If he'd had a tail he'd have lost it sure. ‘While walking around the work to view, They came to a fence where a bull looked through; ‘When Teddy G. said, “Old bull, you come Along with us; stop chewing gum; ‘We'll hitch you to the farmer's cart And make you draw things, quick and smart™ The bull looked up &nd winked his eye And said, “All right! I'd like to try: CHimb over the fence; it isn't high.” ‘The bears got over; they'd rued the day: The moment they landed, the bull made hay; He tossed the bears in the sky so high, They didn’t come down till by and by, He chased them to an old straw stack, And over the top and down and back, And round and rognd and up the side, And down agaln without a guide, T{ll théy found a holo where both could hide. Then Teddy G. made a lasso long ‘With a piece of rope both stout and strong. Al he brought that bull to his knees so quick He touldn’t hook and he couldn’t kick: His ears looked sad; his eyes looked slck; He simply bellowed with all his might: “Don’t jérk so hard: don’t pull so tight: Tl take the job; I'll give up the fight.” Then-Teddy B. said: “It wasn't strange If bulls and:bears in a stock exchange Had ups and downs and puts and calls And skyward jumps and headlong falls; But farming’s what we're learning now And 1t you'll behave we'll show you how.™ The bull was hitched up to the cart And made to draw things quick and smart. When at 6 o'clock the horn it blew, The bears said, “Stop! The work Is through.” And all hands quit and went their way. - The bears went round to the house to stay. To wash their hands and brush their hair, And get some newer clothes to wear, And see the folks and get some meat, A pumpkin pie and jellies sweet, And other things that farmers eat, They slept that night in the stable mow And dreamt that they were farmers now, And had the trade and knew the trick (Continued pext Sunday.)