The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, November 17, 1901, Page 8

8 THE SUNDAY CALL. r @TAkY @AME. 3 HiE CF@@T DAl ; —_— USTER think them college men wuz jest a set o’ dudes, N IA lot of straw-leg sugar tits an’ chicken hearted prudes : Ez couldn’t lick a low sized woman raised on country air Lf forced to stand up face tew face an’ fight her fair an’ square; But, say, I went tew taown an’ seen a football game to-day, An’ now when I meet college men they git the right o’. way. O’ course I never seen a genuine football game before. I thought they played tew pass the time; but, Lord, they play ; for gore. I thought the game wuz kick about and git a little stiff; - But sakes alive! it’s notliin’ else but biff! an’ biff! an’ biff! Now . I fit through the Civil War an’ I know what war is; e R S RSO EEINLGS TSRS S But war, by gesh, is pleasute. Them foothall games is biz. Ty s! e b §eeh ‘em put the leather egg—it ain’t no ball at all— 4 “‘About thé middle of the field; 1 heerd the empire call, i “Captains, are :you ready?” ‘Then, they give the ball a kick ‘An’ I wouldn’t have gone on thet thar field with a shotgun an’ a } One boy caught the leather: egg an’tried tew kill the rest An’ tew keep from gettin’ murdered they jest piled up on his chest. < g I heerd a whistle blowin’, and sez I, “I guess I'll ruh, ° \i They're callin’ the police before sgmebody pulls a gun.” A But I found it wuz impossible to git out of my seat, An' when I looked again both teams had risen’ to their feet. . A pleasant sort o' fellow settin’ near me turned around J ; -An’ said the empire blew the whistle when the ball wuz “downed.” A sy - Then everything: wuz quiet an’ they started onct agen R ‘With a signal, I remember, that wuz “15t—19—10!" 2 S An’ a stocky boy, with bright red hair, whom some one said wuz é;‘ ! & Kelly, : : N\ . Dropped lis head an’ butt a greaf big giant in the belly. ; 5 = A Now, I ain’t no old" woman; but I turned my head aside, E: ; !\ \ : " Forl th_pqght the giant or Kelly must have crossed the Great ¥ i il \.\\‘ Divide! : ‘ - “Hurray! Hurrah! Hurcah-"rah-"rah!”’ the crowd begun tew- yell, : An’ there wuz little Kelly goin’ down the field like—well, : ~\ - I never seen no train o’ cars thet Kelly couldn’t Deat, An’ I never seen no race horse thets wuz quicker: on his ‘eet; : Biit a chunky, chesty feller jumped from ‘somewhere in the air An’ rolled young Kelly gver till his toes wuz in his hair. - ot | —— » s Tlie other~players come a-chargin’ down the field like mad An’ stamped on little Kelly an’ the chunky, chesty lad, An’ when the chesty Jad got up they couldn’t find his ear;- s Now, Wonest Injun, would you believe thet crowd begun tew - cheer? : : An’ one man kept a-yellin’ till T turned aroun’ tew see 4 Who was it; an’, by goodness, gracious, ef it wasn't—-'me! ‘His doctor said the chesty feller hied to leave the game Untel they found his missin’ ear an’ sewed him tew the same; So we cheered the chesty feller, an’ the other football men Commenced to jump ad’ Hump an’ bump an’ thump themselves agen— RS An’ when the game wuz done yer.Uncle Hiram knew the makes Of weak-kneed college sissys wtiz somie dum fool comic paper. MAURICE BROWN KIRBY, TON \yfl e