The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, July 22, 1900, Page 7

| | | i | A DOUBLE LIFE: OR., THE VOW IX: F’HE ROCKY PASS Ah! there he is—my Adonis—waiting in | « moonlight for me hated rival, Maggie | binhimer, w whom he has made er But I will be revenged! When he me termorrer riding down de ave- ’ ng among de cushions of Duffy's b art, he'll realize de folly of leading er fe ] ("3 RO T% * K-SR TR TS RT = P ———— i ¢ Amateur Pugilist—I'm awful glad you moved here, Willie; you save me . e € s pun chin’ ba ®- ¥y ¥y 3 N M A A AT T, AT T AT N X, N @ i FAITR ENOUGH COMES FROM THE WRONG BURG. Ch “Reoberts of Utah n ze now that . B v = y r prophet of Mon o honor in t his own couniry. | t k i “liew so? s - ! “Onh S f the Sulus can secure | - re f s peculiz matrimonial ¢ - deiphia North Ameri- & * - * kS » * - * e xSk - SR TSR TSR SRR @ ASKING TOO MUCH. Guest—Hi, there, proprietor! There's Proprietor—Sorry if you're disappointed, but times are hard and we can't af- ford canvasback ducks in the eggs, sir, | “Per=onal Recollections’: tered a hotel, when the proprietor ecame " her in English THE SUN Mr. Bu}'eni of HAmerica. “This incident hap;kned to me in the capital of the Grand Duchy of Luxem- burg,” says Suthertand Edwards in his up to me and said: * “From the cut of your shirt collar and the tie of your cravat, I imagine yvou, sir, ‘l to be an Englishman.”’ ! “ “You are right." F replied. *“*1 have a daughter. at omne of our best convents.’ *‘Is she rich and beautiful?’ I felt in- ' clined to ask. for the tone adopted by the | | father seemed to be that of light comedy. | | } contented myself, however, with saying, | Your story interests me.’ “ ‘An unprineipled professor, eontinued the father, ‘taking advantage of my , child’s imnocence — **Oh, heavens! I exclaimed. “ ‘Has, wunder pretense of instructing taught her what 1 believe to be Irish.’ *“*You frighten me.’ “‘And now, said the afllicted ‘you wr'll perhaps allew me Y her to you, and you will kindly tell me, I | hope, what strange tongue she has ac- quired.’ 2 “Permission accordingly was given, and i was intreduced to my host's pretty and | interesting daughter, who, in reply te my | question, told me that the book was by ‘a Mr. Burens,” and was in verse. “ “The doggerel of some new American humeorist,” 1 said to myself. to give it to such a girl” ““What are the poems about? Can you tell me the name of any one of them?” I! asked. Tam o° Shantaire, she replied.” s SR SN T S S S a chicken in this egg! DAY CALL. “I had just en- ; She is intelligent, | | docile, and has been educated parent, | to intreduce | *What a pity . | ! | 7> - OUR LETTER T T MP. Mc e e e R R e S CARICATURES. HE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES. KINLEY, T T e > <~ - ¥R TR @ MR. ROOSEVELT. (Features formed from the letters of their names.) @ ¥ TR TFTORTETR TR TOITETETSEI TR TR TSR TP @ LUNAR FOOD. “Mamma.” exclaimed a little boulev maiden, “they’s a new moon.” “Yes, so there is, my darling.” “They's a Rew moon mos’ ev'ry mosth, isn’'t they, mamma?” “Yes, love.” “Well, mamma, w'ere does Deod dit all His new moens from?”’ | *~Oh, it's { Florence, dear. They just call it a new moen because it grows dark once a month | and then begins to shine again.” ! *“It bedins jes a little bit @' thin moon, I;doesn'l it, mamma?" ¢ “Yes, dear.” “An’ ‘en it dits roun’ an' fat ;on-mge doesn’t it?" “Yes. " “Weil, mamma, Dod mus’ feed His moon ! sumfin® mere 'an sunshine dinners to get ‘em seo fat.”"—Detroit Free Press. A WHOLESALE SUPPLY. Superintendent—I was watching you, ! and observed that you entered but ene ‘bons» in the square between Upth and ! Blank Streets, yet vour report gives full statistics of every family in that square. Please explain this, sir. | Census Taker—The lady whom I saw in | that one house belong= to the same ecard ard like a : i i ) i | } | clubs as de all the ether ladies in that | neighborhood.—Baltimore Ameriean, THOSE YOUNGSTERS. First Boy—Did you take physics at your school? Second Boy—No, but ma made me take physics at home.—Boston Post. I the same moon all the time, A MILD REPROOF. I Davie was starding in an cpen doorway : at the back of the house when a docr in | the front part being suddenly opened, the : wind swept through, elosing the back doer violently and propelling the boy with ! great rapidity across and off the porch inte a rose bush. He was seratched some- what and considerably shocked. His face ; bore an expression of pain, but net ef an- | ger, when he arcse. He looked at the sky. i “My goodness, God!”’ he said, “*den’t you | know it's wrong teo slam a dcor that | way " —Judge. l WATER! { “Perhaps yeu can teil me,” remarked | the exchange editor, making another vi- ‘cinus unge with his shears at the help- less paper he was dissecting, “perhaps vou can tell me how the water gets into | melon?” | *“Blamed vine know,” replied the an- swers-to-correspondents man. | “Wrong,” reicined the exchange editor. { “They nlant the seeds in the spring.” { And they didn't speak to each other ! again until one of them wanted to berrow { « mateh.—Chicage Tribune. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. | Patent Medicine Proprietor—Here's a 'gxx-(-ummnnd for our medicine from a life | insurance president, { Junior Partner—Good! | say : 4 | Proprietor—Says fewer of his policy- | holders diz from taking our medicine than any other.—Judge. What does he