The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, July 22, 1900, Page 2

-~ THE SUNDAY CALL. Jhe Facis of the Case. “And so you really believe vour shop- ping expeditiens—1 mean particularly your ones to the special sales—are in strict line with economy?’ he asked, as he settled back in the chair and watched her. “Of course,”” she answered, smoothing out the folds in her dress. “Of course they are. Didn't I buy a 50-cent toothbrush yesterday for 29 cents?” “¥You saved exaetly 11 cents. he said, after a pause. “But now let us loek at this matter in all its lights. As [ said, vou saved 11 cents. But we will commenee at }he beginning. You push your way inte the crowded stere: you see the special sale counter and fight your way to it, make sore. “But 11 cents saved she ¢xclaimed, triumphantly your purchase and are happy: vour hair is mussed, veour skirt is torm in two eor three places and erntirely disarranged when you finally get your change and board the ear. y ! “When you get home yow are cross to the baby and the servant and veu go to bed with a bad taste in your mouth. In the morning yeu are tired, achinrg and Then you vent vour spite on me and all for 11 cents.” 11 cents carned™ 1T cents earnedy “True.” he said, *"lut what do yem ’nvul with ancother ‘ocothhrush? |1 believe F have noticed several around the house.” f She ‘coked bewildered for a moement g | *“I thought perhaps yeu would need it,” J | she explained. NWA'IANqu‘r ! He !:‘n;uh-v!_ ‘)\’ 4\\ “Perhaps | will—som+ day. But just at | the present time | am also well supplied His words were becoming cruel and her lips were quiveringr He knew it and ap- ;fi g | proached her. Then she cried. Her head s wae on his shoulder }6, “Don"t mind me, dear,” he said I'm ’ a brute. Shop whenever you please. Duy all the toothbrushes vou wish™ “It isn"t that,”” she sobbed, “‘but, oh, Jack. | just remember that | left my He smiled again. - “De pocketbook at the store!” Indianapelis Sun. —_— e~ — AN EXPLODED MYTH. yvour little ones believe in Santa Claus”" T , “No. They did till last Chsi-tma 18/ J / / { when their papa played the part. | ] -L }i L | the children in the hall, and he wu » ‘ | come from upstairs with a lot of prescnis | | for them.” ! “Well, we had the lights tur i v | and he thought he was down . ne | wasn't. They recognized his language | Chicago Times-Herald. e e | e T SO] ] | H i ENTIRELY TOO MODERATE M :flRIC ° - | Muggins—Bjones is the mi n- ’ g 1 | ;L Y i - | nered man I ever knew | Buggins—Iis he? ’ 1 | *“Yes. We went ocut to the UNCLE SAM—IT’'S TOO HOT TO ENTHUSE OVER POLITICS JUST YET.| &= We went cut to o - b - - 2 P ! one of our men out at first | o P TAT AT RS RITRET RS RS R B RS R RSE DR TSRS RIS S R TSR TSRS SRR TR T@ | L e T ree feet. Bio: AT THE BAR. H TAKING PRECAUTIONS. . FINAL TEST. that it was a base calum:r » s | e 2 - . phia Recerd. A hush falls upon the court. | “Disinfic: the house thor-r-roughly, me 'he woman was erimson with rage ARTNERS TS DIST “De you know the prisoner at the bar?’ | b've,”” said Mr. O'Toole, when the nego-| “You recall the vase you sold me. upon | PARTNERS IN DISTRESS asks the counsel. | tiations for renting the cottage had been | the prx'u-n:'t-' 'l"‘.fl!. it Was a very rare arti- | .. hocter—Just after “When I've got the price I know every- | completed, “and we'll move in to onct.” | cle of vertu?” she hissed. | «tocks I went and looked at m body at the bar!” protests the colonel | “Why do you wish it disinfected™ in-| The tradesman bowed tremblingiy. | safety éepesit vault, a W from the witness stand with dignity. | quired the agent. ‘“The place is p»rwchy. “It is a fraud!’ eried the woman, her | fourths full of water The colonel, understand, employs the | clean.” # E voiee rising to a shriek. *“It is not rare The Professor—Mine wa I Kentueky dialect of fiction, which he has | "'Shur‘n repiied Mr. O '7:?""—‘- as expres- , I doubt if it is worth more than $19. For. | am carrying a heavier an learned to speak with considerable | sive of great »\'hr"W*’hi"S“‘». !be' ‘_f‘d“ fam’ly | 190k you, my husband can come home | vou are—Chicago Tril flueney.—Detroit Journal. | thet lived in it hod tr-r-riplits.”—Judge. late at night and feel for matches in the | O AT ATAT AT AT AT A AT AT A E TR T AT A AT A @ | JIMe room with it without knocking it | T e i Here the tradesman smote together as | . TR to his Knees, pereeiving that his deceit | tived waiting rl 3 was discovered.—Detroit Journal. | home evenings R N, L~ i Mr=. Lushe—-Oh, I n - r m METIIOD IN HIS MADNESS. { I have a phoneg all which ! ‘ starts talking SO0N € Ope he ] I wish I were a rumer. | door.— New York Jour i Because a rumor soon gains cur- i A NEIGHRPORLY VIEW | rency.— Chicago News. - ! ‘ Caller—-Your next door neighbors D- ! NO LONGER COMPLETE. ! pear to be very quiet people. — = Spin Y the walls Are Very A:‘k;Y. When does the century end? and 1 pose the mean things keep . Tellit—When my wife sees something ! quict te hear what we New York | priced $99 %, marked down from $100. ! Weekly. ‘ R R R e e T Sy . The Lamb—Oh, papa! I hope I won't grow up to be a black sheep. TN R R RO R TR SRR RSSO @ POLITICAL REPARTEE. General R. M. Patterson, the Demoeratie THE BRIGHT SIDE. Pessim—Think of it, will you? One hun- candidate for Congress, was invited a few | dred millions shrinkage in stocks in about vears ago to make a speech at the open meeting of the Hatchie Coon Hunting and Fishing Club. All the members were present, and a merrier set of men perhaps never faced the speaker. General Pat- terscn rose with his usual vrbane and, addressing the club, opened up by saying: “What shall T talk about?” “Talk about a minute!” cried a voice | two days! Optim—Yes., Lut the revenue stamps used in making the sales amounted te | $350,000, and that would pay the expense of the Philippine war for a whole day. manner ¥ What are you grumbling about?—Chicago Trit une. THE SHELTERING DARKNESS. “l find I can cultivate the muse better from ene nf_ the back seats. : | at night,”” =aid the poet. And he did §0.— Mompl;:s Scimitar. ‘“Yes,"” replied the blind man, “that’'s the | favorite time for the commission of NOT EXPRESEIVE ENOUGH. The Rev. Dr. Fourthley (making a pas- toral eal)—I am gliad to noting that Mr. Upjohn doesn’t say “damn” any more. Mrs. Upjohn—No, he doesn’t. S >mebody told him it wasn't considered nvearing nowadays.—Chicago Tribune. i crime.”’—Philadelphia North American. l TROUBLE IN THE CLOCK WORKS. i The Big Hand—Say, it's 12 o’clock. I'm all Tun dewn. The Little Hand—1.et's strike for shorter hours!—New York Press, t ! [ Z int7,s e { by Moresaiam AN OO rrpep S UL PLY O P "o /' Vet \ -~ X ;/ HIS BUSINESS. “I wonder why she eloped with a baseball player?™ “Probably she considered him a good catch.”