The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, July 22, 1900, Page 5

\DAY CALL. -HE HAS TO BUY DRINK TICKETS BY THE PACKAGE “YEk CHAIN’S OFF MISTER - - - LOOK oUT FOR THE MAR WITH THE NEW DEPOSITS . BICYCLE === HIM ON THE GROUND -~ \__, and why it burnt better the more water ycu put on it, and why a twenty-two inch frame with seven inch cranks and an eighty-two gear made a better combin- ation than a twenty-four inch frame, six inch eranks ¢ some other kind of a gear. A wise guy with a bicycle face got him into dispute 3 better than a g it yourself, and tho to why a chaln wasn't ar because you could fix gh Percival admitted that if a man recally liked to spend his time fixing chains he ought to have one, the wise guy was not convinced and started an opposition lecture on his own account, About th: and ordered the whole crowd to move on. On attempting to start, Brown found that he had forgotten his bell and accord- ing to section 17, article 3 of fool rules and regulations for sassing citizens, he \w..ul have to walk until he got out of r bosomed prize package t time a policeman came up {a v Brown is up a hand book of exg iations about bi- cycles, commencing with *‘“Why don't you fall off?” and running clear through all of the mysieries of the wheel, except the great and unsolvable one of how the hothouse he is going to pay the nine- teenth weekly installment of purchase price. r nights getting A Bore Cornered. I hate practical jokes as a rule, but there is one that I remember with grati- tude. I was staying in a country house, and there was a man there who made himself most odiocus. He was an exceed- ingly conceited man, who talked for the whole room, and bored every one with long-winded stories, How our hostess could endure him I never could make out, devoted to him. When he was not engaged in holding forih at large he used to try to monopolize me, and pes- tered me with odious attentions. I hated this first because I disliked him, and sec- ondly because there was another—whom I preferred. Mr. Bumpsher was totally impervious to snubs, did not mind inter- rupting a quiet tete-a-tete, and did not object apparently to being an unwelcome third. Can you imagine a more horrid man? One evening he was boasting about his power of will and the wonderful things he had done by it, when a quiet man took him suddenly up and offered to bet him sixpence that his own will was the more powerful of the two. “I will prove it this way,” said the quiet man. “You will go and stand in that corner arel I will will you to come out of it. Yecu will against me, and TI'll bet sixpence that I will have you out of that corner willy nilly beforz I have com- manded you to come out twice.” Bumpsher took the bet and put himself in the corner. The quiet man said in a commanding yoice: but she wx “Come out of that corner.” Bumpsher grinned and shock his head. The quiet m: sat down and looked at Bumpsher steadily. I suppose five or ten minutes ssed, and then 'l:um]»‘n, r said, with a ¢ “Hadn’t you better give it up? I don't feel any influence at all, and I can’t stand here all the evening.” ~ no hurry,” said the quiet man, “and I have a very comfertable seat. There is no time limit, except that you are to ¢®me out before 1 and as I don’'t intend to ¢ ond time until this day week, I think you will feel the influence before then.” There was a general shriek of laughter, and Bumpsher came out looking very foolish. He avoided the quiet man for the rest of the visit, and as the quiet man was the other I have alluded to, I was re- lieved of Mr. Bumpsher's attentions en- tirely.—London Madame. ———————— AFTER SOMETHING. T.ord G—Y a girl after my heart. She—How do you know? I may be after your title.~Harlem L 'h‘ There is k you twice, you the sec~ ou're .Minister—Now, lxx(h- ,.1rI you want to be a Christian, don't you? Ethel—No, sir; I'd rather sing in the choir.—Puck. Ma—Tommy, you seem to love pa bet- ter than you do me. Tommy--Oh, ma, I don’'t mean to, but ¥’ see, pa allus has his pockets full of nickels.—Indianapolis Journal,