The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, November 29, 1920, Page 18

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DUBB’S SMART SON EAR Cut and Dried: Ithink the League is wrong in wanting to do away with so many grain brokers and middlemen. These men all make good money and spend it and other people get it, so they are able to buy more grain from the farmer. I have a boy who had the right idea. It was his job every Saturday to kill a chicken for Sunday dinner. Some boys might just take a hatchet and cut the chicken’s head off, but my boy had better sense. He rigged up a pile driver and attached the hatchet to the weight on the pile driver. - The pile driver was run by an electric motor and my boy, who was quite an elec- trical genius, fixed the motor so that the switch was held back by a piece of ‘rope; when the rope was broken the switch sprung back and made a connection and the motor started. Well, my boy caught the chicken and tied it under the pile driver and then took a shotgun and shot at the rope that was attached to the switch on the motor. That broke the rope and the motor started and raised the pile driver and then the pile driver came - down with the hatchet attached to it and killed the chicken. Besides killing the chicken this method meant more business for the nien that manufac- ture pile drivers, electric motors, ropes and shotgurs and prosperity all around. My boy used to do lots of other smart things before they took him away to the bughouse. : A. DUBB. * Xk * Probably the grain gamblers get their “cost of production” fig- ures by figuring what it costs them to raise their paper wheat.» I v “So the banker got six years at hard labor. Who decides what is hard la- bor 2 “Any labor would be hard for a banker.” : ok * * Sure, the cost of living is come _ing down. Farmers’ wives will be interested in knowing that they can get a $1,000 seal coat for $995 now. * % % “What good deed did you do to day?” a mother asked her son, a Boy Scout. “There was only enough castor oil for one dose, so I let sister take it.” - .. ' MAIN AND SIDE TRAILS . A noted lawyer once wanted to hire an office boy. There were several ap- plicants. He said to them: “] am going to tell you a story and after I am through the job goes to the boy who- can ask the most sensible question about it. Here is the story: “A bunch of boys ‘were out hunting with some dogs. They caught sight of a rabbit and started to chase it. The “rabbit led them a chase across several fields, the dogs gaining on him. Just as the dogs were about to catch him the rabbit-ran in the open door of a barn. One of the dogs following him knocked over a lantern and set the barn on fire and the owner of the barn and his sons came up to try to get the horses and cattle out. That’s the story.” Several of the boys started to ask questions: “Did the barn burn down?” “Were any of the horses and cattle burned ?” “Did the farmer give the boys a licking 7’ F(‘lmally one bright-eyed youngster sai “Well, what I want to know is what became .of the rabbit?” “You get the job,” said the lawyer. “You are the only one who kept his eye on the rabbit. The rest got lost on the side trails.” Did any Leaguers get lost on side trails. during the campaign? If so it’s time to get your eyes “_on the rabbit again. * * * “Yes, he was killed down South ina feud.” “Gosh, haven’t I warned him time and again not to ride in one of them things.” s 3 o After looking over the election returns many farmers will recall the old saying that- “God made the country, man made the cities and the devil made the small 1 towns.” ! * % % in. : ] “Owing to the greediness of the beef trust,” said the old man, “we're all out of fatted calf. But here’s the can opener. Get busy.” ¥ % % , At any time, when prices climb I find I'm in an awful pickle, ° Things are so high I dare not buy, Or else T have not got a nickel, THE KILLING OF THE LEAGUE | seems, they even lost their cld state, North Dakota. SEE by all the papers,” said Mr. M. T. Head, “that since November second the farmers’ League is dead. The voters snowed ’em under from the Coast to Minnesota, and now, it What- fools them farmers was to think that they could ever win ’em, when all the guys with intellect like me was dead agin ’em!” “Hold on,” up spoke a farmer, “I hate to talk so rough, but—please excuse my language—where do you get that stuff ? ‘The League is dead,” you make me laugh. What papers do you read? Do you believe all that you hear? Your brains: have gone to seed. ‘““Here are some facts: or so more than the last election, just two short years ago. We used to have one governor, but now we’ve made it two. We've sent Ladd to the senate, which makes the grafters blue. And as for North Dakota, just read the latest news. The farmers This year we cast a million votes men come in ahead:; the I. V. A.s all lose. “It’s true we faced a landslide of many million votes. surely got the Democrats’—but not the farmers’—goats. long as grafters rule us We’ll battle for the right. Tt So ‘Thg League is dead,” why man alive, we’ve just begun to fight.’ : : PAGE EIGHTEEN : S The prodigal son had just sneaked | § ' ADVERTISEMENTS “Qver 14,000 now in use EMERSON KICKER Here's the, wild oat separator you need. ‘We guarantee it to take the wild oats olg: o'f;. wheat, rye or barley—even Dnrum If you raise Durum wheat you will find it ett.he most efficient machine on the mar- Used by U.S. Governiment as the only accurate and practical device for testing grain for dockage. Don’t take a chance. You can’t afford to plant even one per cent of wild oats. Get: the facts. Our free booklet explains why this is the most efficient wild oat separator on the market. See how it works and judge for yourself. = Write today, e "EMERSON MFG. CO. 2806 Lyndale Avenue South, Minneapolis, Minn. WORK SHOES $4.75 Workshou made for strength, : y and neatness, _ OVERALLS $1.65 Sndp s Wmm K GEPSB. DUCKS CHICKENS, VEAL, EGGS Limt e Qotek - Retaiss, — Qui Reference: First i‘lzahona.l mBank. for this $965|m)oomoum A high-grade mt—u 45, TRAL=oney ok i %u%lw;m:% ~s . W, IN! mh-au ‘M‘ Bfion, N Dickey Glazed Tile Silos *“The Fruit Jar of the Field” Buy the lg'o;%: sl'lgdls;l s«onlfgl!- wE St Klnul Glm Ho Chattanoogs, !flm. P A ST e - Mention the Leader When Wri_tlng Advertisers