The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, September 6, 1920, Page 2

ADVERTISEMENTS Quick Delivery ‘and Save = g Mr. L. E. Hatfield of New London, Conn., lives a long ways from Kalamae wovbut 'é‘, got. ick Py B " the io Vel satisfied v Stove."” . Write for the Kalamazoo Catalogne And learn what you can Ask for Catalog No, 763 Kalamazoo Stove Co. Kalanazoo Direct to You" g’.&m’ : doritworry theman -~ whoworksina waterproof e e SArmentmade ESTABLISHED 1836 BOSTON.MASS ]lw m DOLALERS EVERYWHERE - Loz2e Pathfinder is an illustrated weekly, pub- e ation; an " Hvsenens hhome vy ] ation; an ependent home r s that prints all the news of the ?v’)g;d a me and tells the truth; now 3 13111: paper fills the bill with= e eeee— The little matter of §0 wil} bring Wh tthe Pa.th%ndar alght 'we% en trial, "33 % Of or money, this i8 your eas! [ ) . p time means. b ¢ want & paper in your home a 'o which is sincere, reliable, entertain- ing, wholesome, l&ho Pathfinder is ; [} ours. If you would appreciate & pa. {wr which brr\m Clearly, I strongly, efly—here 1t Send 10 to show that : ou might like such send the Pathfinder on a paper, and we will weeks, The 10c does not 8y s, « bu are glad to “invest in new frlends, 3 The Pathfinder, 7(| Langdon 8ta., Washingten. D. O. e e e S — e —— 20th CENTURY MODEL WATCH $3.25 en’s or Boys' K 5 mm&mm sliveroid case, X d - poal t, tod. s s e R A e L L tee with A written Guaran! given with esch watch. Send no money. mw the w E.? and m Tilod Wetlh Chata: $1.00 Sxtoa: GONSOLIDATED WATCH CO., Dopt. 289,160 N, Wells St., Chicago —_— e n, Earbobs, Gold- ed sion Bracelet with Im. Wateh, selling oaly 15 pl Jewelsy st 10 cents each. ) Columbia Movelty Co. Dev.383East Boston. Haas, o Dickey Glazed Tile Silos “The Fruit Jar of the Field” Buy the Best Silo l.cld Save Monoy, Fime and Wo Send for e.mog»'fv".',. 28 W. S. Dickey Chz l;lhlg. Co. MACOMSB, ILL. Kansag City, Mo, Chattanoogs, Tenn, Mention the Leader When Writing Advertisers YOU TELL HIM, SOLDIER “Let’s go to war,” said the Wall street plute, “We can win renown and oil to boot. Let’s go to war and take a chance,” He said to the soldier back from France, ¢ “Let’s go to war.” (He meant, of course, “let the soldier £o While I,’at home, make the dollars grow.”) Theosoldieg answered, “Perhaps.you've rea The words that one General Sherman said. If 80, you'll get me when I say To you and the rest that talk that way— 3 g YOU GO TO—WAR.” * * * FROM PEEVISH MULES A certain brand of condensed Ik mfay come from contented cows, but some of the home brew we have tasted has quite a dif- ferent origin. * x % Two of Mr. Palmer’s sleuths, while out walking one day, came across a college professor who had lost control of his bicycle on a steep hill and been thrown off. 2 “What happened, ’bo?” asked one of the gentlemanly detectives. ; " “My velocity in descending the in- cline became accelerated,” explained the professor, “I lost my equilibrium and was precipitated to the macadam.” “Let’s pinch him,” said the other sleuth. “He’s one of those damn for- eigners.” : * % “Why did Robinson Crusoe leave his island?” “I suppgse “they raised the rent on him.” ISR T . A farmer in Missouri, going to town, heard of a negro with a mule that he wanted to sell at a bargain. “Where does you live, boss?"'the' negro asked the farmer when the lat- ‘ter approached him. : 2 “What. difference does that make?” the farmer asked. | “Well, boss, I done made up my mind when I sells dis muel, it’s gwine to be to someone at leas’ 100 miles away. I not only wants to be rid of de muel, but of all conversation ap- pertainin’ ‘to him.” # * * By following the war news on the - Polish-Russian frontier, the Pullman company can get a swell lot of names for their cars. ¥ = * *® In Kansas a resident of the suburbs asked a “stranger whom “he noticed, looking around, “House hunting ?” “Yes,” replied the 'stranger. I wonder if it could have blown this far.” sure have got a load to tote. they all are talkin’ N. P. L. Cut and Dried THE OLD POLITICIAN’S LAMENT OW that women got the vote, I gotta watch my step a bit, gotta try to make a hit, now that women got the vote. Now that women got. the vote, I gotta fry the taffy stuff—never do to treat them rough—Ilotta things I gotta note. Now that -women got the vote, bottle on the hip won’t do, gotta shave an’ clean up, too, always wear my vest and coat. Now that women got the vote they never seem to give a hang ’bout voting straight to help the gang. Good night! Don’t that get your goat? Now that women got the vote me and Jim and Bill and Pete, that used to run the county seat, we Now that women got the vote, My gosh, this life is surely—well, | - I'd shock the ladies if I'd tell—mow that women got the vote. A new harvest hand had come out from the city one night in time for supper at the farm where he was to work next day. All he wanted to eat: at the table was dessert, after which he smoked innumerable cigarettes. “You ought to eat more meat:and vegetables to brace you up for the hard day tomorrow,” said the farmer. The city man only sneered.: Next day the new hand did every- thing wrong. After thoroughly dis- organizing the whole harvest crew he came to the farmer, at the end of two hours, and said the work was too much for him and he was quitting. “I suppose you think if I’d eat more ‘meat P’d be a good farmhand,” he . Sneered again. “No, George,” said the farmer, “there ain’t that much meat.” * % % “My motto for success in life is ‘Pluck,’ ” said the great captain of industry, “Now tell us who you plucked,” replied the irreverent farmer. % % A policeman in Minneapolis, so the story ' goes, Christianity and was induced to go to church, but he spoiled it all, for when the collection plate was passed around he merely shozved his star. * * “With all thy faults, I love thee, still,” murmured the amateur dis- tiller, as he tasted his first drops of “home made.” * x x “You say that all poverty is due to overproduction ?” thundered the po- litical orator. “I tell you, sir, you are wrong. I can take you into the South, sir, and show you millions of pickanin- nies without a pair of shoes to their " name. Do you mean to say such a . condition is due to overproduction ?” “Sure,” said his opponent. “Over- production of pickaninnies.” * * * The gas shortage doesn’t seem to interfere with any of the pres- idential candidates. 2 [IERE e 2 For most old party politicians, the ostrich. would be a better emblem than either the elephant or donkey. It has ‘a brain the size of a thimble and thinks it is safe if it can hide its eyes in the sand. 725 *® * * “When water becomes ice, what great change takes place?” asked the teacher. “The - price goes up again,” volunteered the brightest pupil. R * * Two Irishmen stopped at a jeweler’s window, filled with precious stones. “How’d you like to have your pick?” asked one, : “Not me pick,” said the other, “but me shoyel.” ' : 2 PAGE TWO . . became converted to |. 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