The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, September 6, 1917, Page 13

SPEAKING OF THE DEVIL Scratch off the d and you have “evil”; move the e over to the other end of “evil” and you have ‘vile”; drop both the v and the e, and you have “il”; knock the i out of “il” and then you get ’l! Yes, it's true—the Old Scratch is bad clear through! * * * ‘Wonder how four bones per day for farm labor appeals to our friend Coxey, the gentleman of the historic hike? * * * WAR TIME ECONOMIES The holes are getting larger in the dough-nuts that we buy, the bubbles are expanding in the bread the baker bakes, the crust is getting thicker on the’ local brand of pie, and the T is getting larger in the local T-bone steak! The cups are getting thicker and the coffee getting less, the eggs are getting fewer In the dainties of the board, the sugar has diminished in the pastries, I confess, and cream’s a little ‘item that we feel we can't af- ford! The bottoms of fruit boxes have been raised a half an inch, and peanut shells are added to our daily breakfast food; we must spread the butter thinner on our biscuits, that’s a cinch, and prepare our soup and gravy in economizing mood. We must play three extra records with each needle that we use, and close the drafts a trifle on the hun- gry furnace fire; we must wear our collars longer and go easy on our shoes, and keep in mind the value of a four-inch rubber tire. Only two lone littie items may be spared the prun- ning knife, only two to hand out freely, not econo- mize a whit—two personal +pet theories that we hold as dear as life: (1) Our reason why war started, and (2) Our guess on when *twill quit! * * * “Cut the joy riding; save your gasoline!” These words from Rockefeller! - How patriotic, how self-denying! Don't get excited, however, John merely wants the stuff for another market! * * * SPIRITS Dean Babcock has found a “spirit” in lignite coal. We are surprised that this “spirit” is a good one. Our experi- fine, so get ready, jump in!”’ The High Cost of Learning On his little farm he had wiggled along, an average man in an average throng; by saving here and denying there, by shaving himself and his bill of fare, he had garnered up in this humble way a thousand bones for a rainy day. "Twas weary and slow, this daily grind, so he often longed for a special ‘‘find,’’ till at last a friend whom he chanced to meet, who had made a ‘‘killing’’ in next year’s wheat, advised him thus —on the side you know: ‘‘This farming game is a bit too slow, but take it-from me, ON WHEAT YOU’LL WIN, the water is So this average man assembled his pile, went in on wheat and watched the dial. The stuff went up as the friend had said, then his mind jumped out of its trundle-bed. He pictured a cot- tage beside the bay, felt salted air in his hair at play; he fancied himself in a touring ‘car with the front end hitched to the wagon’s star. “‘I’m through with the farm and its chores and dirt, with the overalls and the flannel shirt!’”’ This average man went home that day, and hugged his wife in a youthful way; he cooed again - in the old love tones, and counted up ten thousand bones! The story is long that I’'m telling to you, but one more chap- ter and then I’m through. I stopped today at his old home place, and behold, I met him face to face! ‘“What, back Old Top? Why 1 thought you’d quit; retired on the stake that you’d made in the pit?”’ ‘I did,”’ said the man, ‘“‘but the stake quit too—retired just as I did, so I’ve started anew. It cost me dearly to have my fling but tuition is always a costly thing! I’'m sadder, but wiser; I haven’t a bone, and am renting the farm that I used to own!”’ ence with the “raw material” last win- ter made us think that the devil was in it » * » Contractors are trying to get a cor- ner on potatoes; now, that will make potatoes rather awkward for paring, won't it? * * * WHEN A RASCAL TFINDS THAT YOU CAN SEE THROUGH HIM, HE ABSOLUTELY DENIES THAT YOU CAN SEE ANYTHING. the snow and slush and sleet, and pray again for summer heat! In the autumn and the spring when weather is a doubtful thing, when summer clothes are much too thin and winter clothing chafes our skin, we cuss such half-way tommy-rot, and pray to have it cold or hot! My little job is bad enough—it isn’t worth a pinch of snuff; and yet it beats by forty span the job of our poor .weather man! * * * The High Cogt of Living is so terri- ble that we have to save on ink and 50 abbreviate as follows: H. C, of L. | * * * “What do you think I should get for this?” asked the spring poet, after he had read a piece of poetry intended for BETWEEN THE ROWS to a neighbor. “Not less than 60 days,” was the answer. * * * LAZARUS WISHED TO BE FED WITH THE CRUMBS THAT FELL FROM THE RICH MAN'S TABLE; THAT'S FOOD CONSERVATION WITH A VENGEANCE. THAT’S THE WAY WITH SOME PEEPUL— GEE ! TheYRC STA7IN' HERE M LONG TimC 1 ° WONNER WH! THE TRAINYS GONE-THIS WRONG 2 CAR HAD A F‘b' y HOT Box 3o A WORSE JOB THAN MINE In the summer when the sun cooks flesh “rare” and skin ‘“well-done,” we rub the moisture from our specs and mop the blisters on our necks, we cuss the heat and pray for snow, with mer- cury at ten below! In the winter, when the wind frosts the flesh that summer skinned, we stamp our stiff and stinging toes and suck the finger that we froze, we cuss J.E. T. T GUESS Ihh Go BACK IN THE NEXT (AR WANT A DouBLE SERT 7. MOTHER HUBBARD 01d Mother Hubbard went to the cupe board To get her poor dog a bone; But she looked at the shelf and said to herself, ‘“T'd better keep that as my own; 'Twill make a good stew, and whatever I do, I musn’t be wasteful a whit If the dog is in need, he can hustle his ~feed— I tell you I'm doing my bit!” * »* * THE HOMESTEADER CAN NEVER TELL YOU HOW THE “PIE” GOT INTO PIONEERING. * * * In spite of preachments on food con- servation the fat girl in the side show just can’t help being waist-full. * * * IF THE DRAFT INCLUDED WO- MEN THEY WOULD ALL TAKE TO TELLING THEIR REAL AGES. * L 3 * The pessimist says: “l am al- ready half way down the ladder.” The optimist says: “l am already half way up.” Inci- dentially they are both in the same place. * * * * SOME JOLT TO THE THRIFTY ~ AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE TO BE TOLD BY MEN THAT HER PREVIOUS HABITS HAVE BEEN WASTE- FUL. * * *® After eleven o’clock p. m., September 8—ah,how still will be the ’still! * * * REMEMBER THE DATE AND THE HOUR: 11 P, M., SEPTEMBER 8. HOW’'S YER CELLAR? * *: * James Nelson of Chillicothe was shot and killed by his wife, because another wo- man had wired that she was coming from another town to claim him as her husband. Question: Who should stand the funeral Huu l.%d(—. 'F ; enses? i gif:’:‘:;;wq : FOR INORY A report from Des - 3 Moines, Iowa, states that ‘ ‘ ‘ HAVE So mucH H. R. Reasoner, a Non- L partisan league organizer, was interviewed in that city! Think of it—right under Lafe Young's nose! * * * Drawn by “Billican” especiaHy for the Leader IT’S UP TO THE GOV- ERNMENT TO MAKE IT HOT FOR THE COAL SPECULATORS BEFORE THEY A MAKE IT TOO COLD FOR US. For Conscription of Wealth Eighty-Seven Chautauqua Audiences Want In- comes Above $100,000 Confiscated Eighty-seven chautauquas of the Ellison-White circuit have voted unanimously in favor of conscripting wealth to meet the expenses of the war, according to Lee Francis Ly- barger, the well known Philadelphia tax expert and lecturer, who appeared on the circuit platform this year. Mr. Lybarger spoke before chautau- qua audiences in these eleven states: Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Ore- gon, Texas, Utah and Washington. The following propositions were submitted to each of the 87 audiences and were unanimously adopted by each audience: “First—That we pay for the war as we go instead of issuing bonds. ‘“‘Second—That we conscript wealth equally with life. “Third—That no man be allowed a yearly income exceeding $100,000 dur- ing the war.” Mr. Lybarger and Dr. Frank Bohn of New York City, who also has been lecturing on the chautauqua circuit, stopped at ismarck, North Dakota, on their way to their eastern homes, to confer with the officials elected by the farmers of North Dakota, who for months have been urging the conscrip- tion of wealth along with conscription of life. Purpose of Meeting Stated by League (Continued from page 8) when we are undertaking that we are doing a good work. We don’t want a lop-sided sort of patriotism in this country that will set one class of workers against another and cripple production, all for the sake of mak- ing a set of rich and scheming patriots richer than they are. “We are not strong for that sort of patriotism. We are inclined to think it smacks too much of treachery to the real interests of the nation. “That’s why we are calling this con- ference in St. Paul and the earlier mass meeting in Fargo. These meetings are going to be patriotic meetings. We are going to try to find what is the path of justice to all classes of work- ers in this country and what is the course of real national efficiency at this time when industrial efficiency is 80 sorely needed in order that the na- tion may do its full part in the war. “If it is necessary to enforce as a PAGE THIRTEEN maximum this low price fixed by the government—about a dollar and ninety cents on the average for most of the wheat that has been raised in North Dakota this year—then of course the farmers will yield to the necessity. “But we are going to discuss that, too, and if we find that to enforce that price as a maximum will be dangerous because likely to reduce next year’s crop too greatly, then we will warn the government against that danger. We expect the farmers to be prepared to give information on that point.” Notices of the meetings are being sent broadcast in all the grain pro- ducing states of the west. To the meeting in Fargo on September 17 farmers from all of North Dakota and Montana ere being invited. It is ex- pected that there will be close to 5,000 farmers at the Fargo meeting and an attendance of more than 10,000 at the meetings in St. Paul. = 5 ek At 4