The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, May 24, 1917, Page 12

S S o e | | e ADVERTISEMENTS 000000000000000990 [/ Between 'Seeding Time and Harvest Have your gas tractors, steam engines and other farm machinery put in good working condition. Cylinders rebored and fitted with oversize pis- tons and rings—valves reseated, shafts straight- ened, etc.—broken parts welded or new parts cast. All kinds of boiler, fire box and flue work. Mechanics sent to any part of the state. We han an expert welder and weld anything worth while. 9000000000000000000000000 Your patronage solicited. Fargo Foundry Co. P. 0. BOX 881. - FARGO, N. D. 00000000000000000000002000000000000000000000000 - WhenYouTravel, Rideina The PULLMAN is the equal to any car selling for $1500 to $2000 for beauty, workmanship and riding gualities. No other car at the price has a greater length of wheel base, 114 inches; no other car has 503z inch cantilever springs, which, in combination with deep, resilient cushions make every road smooth. : EVERY PULLMAN is upholstered in genuine leather—no imitations. < . Dixie waterproof, high tension magneto. Gas tank in rear—17 gallons capacity—with Carter vac- umm feed to carburetor. 3 Two-unit electric starting and lighting system; double bulb headlights with dimmer, dash light and rear light. Stromberg type float feed carburetor. Salisbury, artillery wheels with demountable rims. Batavia red tread, non-skid tires on all four wheels. The bodies are finished in Yark green with snappy black fenders and runhing gear. Built in the big PULLMAN body factory, of the finest materials money can buy. They re- ceive eleven operations of sandblasting, painting and var- nishing in the finishing department. The result is a smoothness of detail unusual except in the most costly models. MODELS De Luxe Touring car.........c.ccc0se......$860 De Luxe 4-passenger.......seeseessesssss. 860 Standard Touring car.......,.....ee00...., 765 1000-1b. Light Delivery...... O D veo.. 750 We have some valuable territory open for reliable agents in Minnesota, Montana, northern half of South Dakota, west- ern Wisconsin, and North Dakota. District Distributors Asplund Brothers, Minot, N. D. Jdno. Jenson, Williston, N. D. Easby Implement Co., Easby, N. D. Cannon Motor Sales Co., Bismarck, N. D. MORE BROTHERS Northwestern Distributors and Minneapolis 220 So. 6th St. Fargo 417-419 Front St. It’s worth while to read the Leader Classified Ads 00090000000000000000900000000000000000000000000000060900 Mention Lead - when writing advertisers: Deer Mistur Editpr: Tuther day I wuz settin’ in a hotel up at Bigbizmark an’ having a con- versashun with a Nonpartishun Leeg organizer. He wuz tellin’ me about the grate syckcess he wuz havin' re- organizin’ the members fur 2 more yeers an’ I wuz gittin’ very much in- terrusted when I happen to look across the street an’ I seed this sine: CATCHUM, HOLDUM, SKINUM & SCRAPUM ATTURNEYS AT LAW 0 " The organizer noticed mi interrust in the sine an’ he remarked: “Quite a combinashun, that, eh?” “It shorely iz,” I sed. : 2 Then he proseeded to tell me that all them fellers used to be state offi- cials an’ wuz scooped outen office bi the Leeg victory last fall. Wun er two wuz soopreem court judges, wun wuz atturney general an’ anuther wuz as- sistant atturney general, he sed. “That’s what we call ‘Lame Duck Roost’,” he went on, lafin,’ “fur it’s not only the offices uv four lame ducks but it’s the resort uv a lot uv uther lame ducks who goze up thar to console each uther an’ hatch up skeems to kill the Nonpartisan Leeg. “When you see a feler goin’' around here,” he continued smilin’, “lookin’ like a little boy whoze last gran'muther wuz ded an’' he wuz left with no more excuses to go to ball games, then that’s a lame duck. Why them fellers has got so bitter towards ever body that thay hate therselves so bad that thay stand before the lookin’ glass half uv the time an’ maik faces at them- selves. Thay even take turns at kickin’ each uther around thru the offices, fur thay don't have much else to do theze daze.” ~ This little bit uv infurmashun put an idea into mi hed an’ I maid up mi mind that I'd wurk a little strategem on ’em. I decided that I'd purtend that I had sum law bizness to transack and wud go up thar an’ size ’em up a little. A VISIT TO THE LAME DUCKS So I strolled across the street, wend- ed mi way up the stairs an’ nocked on the door, sorter shyly. A voice uyv the gentler sect sed, “cum in.” I went in. A butiful taffy-haired gurl greeted me plesantly an’ wanted to know ef thar wuz ennything I wanted. I tole her I wanted to see the lawyers. She ast which wun an’ I sed, “All of 'em.” Then she tole me thay wuz bizzy Jist then, having’ a private confur- rence among themselves an’ wud I pleze be seted a little while. I very graciously acceded to her request an’ tuck a cheer, sot down in it an' lent back aginst the wall, while she return- ed to readin’ a magazine entitled “‘Slushy Steries fur The Luvesick.” Now it bappened that T lent up agin the wall rite bi the door that leeds into the room whur the private confurrence wuz bein’ helt. I hadn’t sot thar more'n three shakes when I heerd very plain- ly the rumble uv voices. I jist sorter slid down in mi cheer soze to get mi ear spread out over the key hole like a cabbage leaf, an’ begin lookin’ inter- estedly, tho unseein'ly, over & mornin’ nuzepaper. The conversashun inside wuz gittin’ annimated bi this time an’ I cud heer sum wun ‘walkin’ the floor impatiently. Then he stopped, sud- denly, an’ I heerd theze wurds az plane az cud be, namely, to-wit, az follers: “But we've got to do sumthin’s an’ that durned quick. We ain’t dun 30 cents wurth uv bizness sinst we have bin here. We'll starve to death at this rate. It's plane to me rite now that the farmers hain't goin’ to bring US enny bizness, an’ all the big corpora- shuns had already engaged thur attur- neys before we wuz kicked outen of- fice bi that (deleted by sensur) Non- partishun Leeg an’ so thar’s nuthin’ left fur us to do but to leeve here or git in an’ bust up that (more wurds deleted by the sensur) organizashun or we'll find ourselves lookin’ fur mem- bership in the I. 'W. W. the: furst thing we know.” DID YOU SAY “LAUNCHED”? “Well, what can wse do more'n what we're doin’ already ?” ast anuther voice, “Ain’t we doin’ all that's in our power? Ain't we helpin’ to line up the Anti- Leeg Union,’ that wuz launched at Grate Prongs the uther day’— “Launched-L, launched-L" exclaimed the furst voice, angerly. “It wuzzent launched, it wuz foundered. It struck a snag-an’' turned turtle the minnit it hit the water. A fu bone-heds like Sherry Saltpork, Tom Barker Buncum an’' O. J. Sorry thinks it wuz launched -~ TWELVE | A Visit to Lame Duck Roost Rip Hears the Melancholy Story of the Goo Gooes and the Anti-Farmer Union and Then Goes Back to His Room for a Good Laugh an’ thay're jumpin’ around on it like a bunch uv Soo injins at a war dance . an’ wonderin’ why it don't start. But thay’re not dancin’ on the deck; thay're dancin’ on the keel, fur I tell you it sturned turtle an! they don't know it, An’ even ef it hadn’t them Nonparti- shuns wud have rammed a bunch uv submarines into it and thar wudn't bhave bin nuthin’ left but a splash, a ripple an' a bad smell,” an’ the floor walkin’ started up agin. Then anuther voice started in but it talked sorter mumbly an’ I didn’t heer what it sed. But purty sune the floor walkin’ stop- ped an’ I cud tell from the voice that he wuz rite over close to mi door. ' FATHEAD'S PUBLICITY GAME “Yes, I know that Fathed thinks, now that he’s bought the Daily Borum that he'll rip the Léeg open frum stem to sturn, but he won't. I know hiz game. T've talked with him on hiz plans an’ T know thay won't wurk, Hain’t thay bin trying hiz plans ever since the legislachure convened? Didn't thay git ole shurtcollarless Veverson to circulate a partishun durin’ the session to try to start a split an’ didn’t it cum to naught? - ‘That's the Fathed, Good Government Leeg plan, but I tell you it won't wurk, it won't wurk. It's about fizzled out now an® thay'll jist spend a lot uv munny an’ we won't git nun uv it. . - “Well, what in the blankety, blank, blank, do you want to do?” piped up a raspin’ voice, while the wmervus 'foot- steps resoomed thur thump, thump, thump on the hard floor. “De you want to surrender, hist the white flag an’ give up the fite? Do you want to con- fess defeat bi a bunch uv ignorant farmers led bi a fu imported carpet- baggers? Air you redy to quit an’ go over to the enemy camp?” The monottinus thump, thump, stop- ped an’ the despairin’ voice replied, az follers: : “I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t know what iz the best to do. But I do know wun thing, an’ that iz that we've all made blamed ‘fools uv our- selves in opposin’ this movement. We wuz too blind to see an inch ahed uv our nozes. We simply batted our heds agin a solid stone ‘wall an’ that our heds didn't bust wuz dew to the fack that thay air solid wood. Not only have we maid ourselves the lafin’ stock uv the country; we“have knocked our- selves outen sum good, fat jobs. We're down an’ out an’ thrown on our own resources, with nuthin’ saved up fur a rainy day and ever body prejudiced agin us,’—— BUNCUM MESSED IT UP The voice died off into an incoherent mumble an’ the foot steps resoomed thump, thump, thump. ‘Theh two or three uther.voices clam- ored in at wunce an’ the confushun wuz so grate that I cudn’t understand what wuz sed. “I know that, I know that” cum_ back the original voice. *“But it's top late now. This thing haz got sich-a start now that we can't stop it till doom’s' day. Ain't we bin spéndin® munny like water an’ don't it jist slide off like water runnin’ offen a mallard duck’s back? Ain't we sent outen the stait to git sich men az Tom Barkep Buncum to cum here an’ put the kibosh on this thing an’ haint he maid a purty mess uv it? He hain’t dun nuthin’ but maik things wurse than thay wuz be- fore. He confesses, like a bloomin® idiot, that the farmers haz got a kick a-comin’ but admits that he don’t know th& remedy. Ever time he opens hiz mouth he socks hiz foot into it. All he can do iz call peeple naims, an® laf when Norrowtread Witchel or Anti-Go Devil refers to sumbody’s per- sunal afflictishun an’ calls him a ‘Cock-Eyed Sun of a—— well, he mite az well of sed what he ment az to have sed what he did, fur everbody knows what he ment. All of this Jackassable stupidity goze rite into the mit of the Leeg an, it turns it on us with ‘dedly effeck.” : “aT WO‘N’T GET NO WHERE” The voice pauzed agin an’ a nu voice started up but the original voice cut it short. “No it won’t, no it won’t, I tell you. It won’t git no whur. Look at the men thay've got at the hed uv it. Jist look at ’em. Thay've got men that haz dun nuthin’ for yeers but fite farmers’ or= ganizashuns, Thay fite ever farmers’ organizashun that starts. Thay used tofite the equity jist az hard az thay fite the Leeg now, but sinst the \Leeg cum along thay're pattin’' the Equity on the back an’ callin’ it all kinds uy Pet naims an’ trying to maik luve to it. (Continued on page 18)