Evening Star Newspaper, November 8, 1935, Page 28

DAILY SHORT STORY- HUMORESKY By Lyman Anson. LADEN with golf bag and three pounds of Sunday morning news- paper, Emmet Brant swung aboard the crowd- ed Washington + suburban car, eased down beside a fat man at the for- ward end and opened his paper automatically to section 19. He seldom failed to get a kick from scanning his own stuff in print. It appeared every Sunday, together with an oval half- tone of himself, under the running head — “Humor- esque.” Each was a pungent little yarn complete in itself, based on fact, dripping human | interest, enlivened by that cruel humor | which tickled the funny thoughtless thousands. Everything irritated Brant today, it | ly audible. | the girl understood. seemed—the heat, the dirt, the pas- sengers. He wished that his fat seat- | mate would keep his pigeyes to him- self instead of constantly shifting | them from the paper to Brant's face. ‘ X ok E | “JXCUSE me, mister,” the fat man “ wheezed affably, “but—say, ain't you the one that writes these here Humoresky pieces?” | Brant nodded. | “Well, what d'y’ know about that! Gee, I wished I had a job like yours, Mr. Brant.” ‘ “It isn't so easy.” ! “Yeah?” the of continued, ad- miringly. “Well, it sure looks easy. Just watching for things to happen and writing ‘em down. Always hap- | pening. too, if you got your eyes peeled. | Ain't that so? Seems like I never turn | sround without something funny—| hello, what th'—?" ! Before he could follow the fat man’s | etare, Brant was startled by a silk | hat bobbing at his elbow. Below it | he made out the olive face of a lad of | 6 or 7, clothed in a miniature dress | suit Behind him stood a small girl in| starched white, hugging a stiff bouquet of flowers and regarding her brother | through wondering eyes. | “Gee,” grunted the fat man. | But this, Brant saw, was prompted | not by the youngsters but by an older | girl—18, perhaps—on whose olive, | Madonna-like face the eyes of the car were fixed. “Here-comes-the-bride——" whistled some one back in the car. Tt | THERE was no doubt of it, judging from the young woman's white | finery, her flowers, the long veil. which £he kept brushing back nervously with factory~calloused hands, while search- ing vainly for seats. .The other members of her wedding party seemed negligible. A swarthy | crew in Sunday best, huddling together | Searching vainly for seats. bones of | Crude bits of advice. | jokes. Moth-eaten insinuations clear~ | peared, from the deep flush which | face. in the aisle, looking to her fordirections. For certainly she was master of cere- monies rether than her smirking groom in bright blue suit, stiff collar and pat- ent leather shoes, who stood by help- lessly. Instinctively, Brant got to his feet and heaved his golf kit into the rack above. The fat man stared hard out the win- dow, muttering. The girl gave Brant a grateful flash and hastily jammed her ¢ small brother and sister into the va- cant space. Then her eyes swept the passengers again in near-panic. But no one moved. Instead came a filtering of remarks. Threadbare dar Brant wondered how much More than he had hoped, it ap- over her clear, dark skin. * ok K K N THIS crisis her eyes sought out the groom pleadingly. She'd done her best, they seemed to say. Couldn't he do something now to save the sit- uatjon? Then suddenly she straightened up, lunged across the fat man and rang to stop the car. Somehow the girl succeeded in herding her frightened countrymen off the car. spread slowly * ok k. BRANT took a last lingering view of the wedding party grouped around a pile of workmen's material. ‘The little boy and girl staring wonder- ingly at their older sister—veil torn— face buried in arms—shoulders shak- ing convulsively— “And what a break for you, huh?” roared the fat man, now on the verge of apoplexy. “Nothing to do but write the thing down just like it hap- pened! Gee, I bet next week’s Hu- moresky—"" The case was called at 10:30 the following morning. “Emmet Brant?” repeated the judge. “Um. Are you Brant, the newspaper man?” = “Yes, sir.” “Well, Mr. Brant, the plaintiff here claims he was sitting next to you when suddenly, without provocation, you hit him a vicious blow in the| Anything to say?” “Guilty.” “Um. I'm one of your Humoresque fans myself, Mr. Brant,” the justice smiled, “but even newspaper men must have a heart, you know. Twenty- five dollars and costs!” Brant forked over the fine with a grin. It was little enough to pay for redeeming one's self-respect. (Copyright. 1035.) AMERICAN OPERAS HAVE BEEN RETII'\’EDI All Have Been Taken From Met ‘ ropolitan’s Repertoire, Man- agement Announces. By the Associated Press. NEW YORK, November 8 —Every American opera has been retired from the Metropolitan's repertoire, the an- nual managerial announcement shows. *Among the more recent American efferts thus disposed of are Deems Taylor's “Peter Ibbe Louis Gruenberg's “Emperor Jones,” Howard Hanson's “Merry Mount,” and Lau- rence Seymour’s “In the Pasha's Gar- den.” No announcement was made concerning possible new American operas. Thirty-six operas make up the rep- ertoire. The season will begin Decem- ber 16 and conclude after 14 weeks March 22. The usual subscription geries will be given. The Wagner matinee series and the Sunday night concerts are again planned. More in- strumentalists will be brought in from outside as soloists at these, it is said. The roster lists 79 singers, 0. whom 17 are new to the Metropolitan, and 5 are former company members. in’s Street ond Afternoon Shoes ““and Evening Slippers Men's Street and Evening Shoes It Wanted Styles BURT F St at |4th. s ARTHUR smm—— Chinese Diverse. Language and customs differ almost as much in some of the provinces of China as they do in the various countries of Europe. \ When the doctorprescribes sound sleep HE MEANS THE TAFT! B In the heart of all New York's worthwhile activities with the quiet of the country-side. 2000 ROOMS WITH BATH, FROM $2.50 LESS BY WEEK OR MONTH HOTEL Avrreo Lewts, Mpr. TART wims. NEW YORK at 50th St. SHOE CO Tm— THE EVENING SAFETY STRESSED ATTUGWELLTOWN Berwyn Project Calls for Elimination of Traffic Hazards. By the Associated Press. Pedestrians in “Tugwelltown” face the reassuring prospect of virtually 100 per cent protection from death or in- Jury by automobiles. Planners of the Rural Resettlement Administration’s suburban home proj- ect at Berwyn, Md., a suburb of the STAR, WASHINGTON, eliminated traffic hazards so far ss persons on foot, particularly schcul children, are concerned. They are working out a system of highways which will avold crossroads and will provide underpasses for pedestrians. School Is Civic Center, Since the town’s school system will be the center of community activities for adults as well as youths, the buila- ers of Tugwelltown are concerned that residents shall be able to walk safely between their homes and the schools. The underpasses will occur naturally along the walkways, with no dipping of sidewaiks to get under the roadways. Paths for horses and bicycles will take this subterranean route, which will be flanked by a continuous park- way of trees, flowers and shrubs,, Construction also is starting in Massachusetts on an $8,000,000 prof- ect to build 1,000 miles of sidewalks along State highways. Half of th: National Capital, have just about sum is & Works Progress Administra- MEN'S ~ SHIRTS 1.19 —with Non-Wi not wrinkle. Th It Collars, that will is means soft collar comfort with laundered neatness. Pre-shrunk broadcloth in white, tan and gray, also British stripes and figured potterns. Included are white neckband styles and some of the fancies have two matching col= lars. 13%2 to 17, Palais Royal Main Floor Hand Tailored TIES 60« 3 for 1.75 A riot of colors in luxurious silks from which to tions. make your selec- Twills—satins—Baratheas —and other smart-looking—well- wearing silks. At this price it is genuine economy to make your Holiday purchases now. Not only is the price low, but the choosing is better than it prob- ably will be later on. Palais Royal—Main Floor D. T, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER B, 1935, tion allotment while the other half is provided by the State. New Device for Autos. New developments in automobile lighting, reducing headlight glare and providing more penetrating rays for bad weather driving, are expected to reduce the hazards of highway walking as well as driving. The non-glare de- vice deflects the light down and along the right side curb line. Glaring headlights cause thousands of accidents annually, the National Bafety Council attributing 6,700 auto- mobile mishaps to that one cause in 1934. Reports to the council indicate that an equal number of accidents were due to poor lights and to motorists “overdriving” their headlight beams. Highway lighting engineers at Cleve- land, Ohio, have designed a road lamp which is shaped like an admiral’s hut and has an aluminum reflector that gradually directs light toward the ap- proaching motorist without glare, Stein Bloch Clothes Mallory Hats ‘Arrow Shirts Beau Brummel Ties OFFICERS FROM JAPAN TIENTSIN, China, November 8 (#). —Rumors which lacked authoritative confirmation were circulating here to- day that eight Japanese advisers are to be installed as government officers in the Peiping, Tientsin area. ‘The district lies in the North China territory which Japan has demanded be purged of “anti-Japanese” ele- ments by the Nanking government. Stove Parts Boilers, Furnaces, Stoves Capitol Rock Wool Insalation Air-Conditioning Furnaces Fries, Beall 4 Sharp 734 10th St. NNW. Nat. 1964 T 72 G ST.ATHN™ “LYNBROOKE"” CLOTHING is something more than “’just another brand.”’ It represents the ‘‘ne-plus-ultra” of fine clothing styling and manufacture. “Lynbrooke’ Overcoats are not too heavy to wear RIGHT NOW! And certainly they're the weight for cold days that are just in the offing! These overcoats ideally demonstrate what is really meant when our salesmen explain, “they have warmth without weight!" FABRICS . .. The finest fleece coats, guar- anteed to outwear any others of the same price . . . . rugged tweeds and Scotches « + . smooth meltons . . . sturdy boucles . . . lama mixtures . . . camel’s hair . all of them are lined, mostly with smart plaid wool, STYLES. .. Ulsters, of course, big burly affairs, plenty of ‘em . . . double-breasted raglans, with plain or half-belted backs . . . single-breatsed box coats . . . single and double-breasted dress coats . and plent yof the new- est ond smoartest fancy- back models. Palais Royal— Men's Store—Main Floor. Young Men's 'Prep’ Suits 395 With 2 Pairs of Trousers Just an even hundred suits at this special price for to- morrow. Snappy double breasted models with sports backs, fashioned of window pane checked woolens and English type tweeds. Browns, tans, grays, including oxfords. Also the well wearing, ever popular blue cheviot. Sizes 12 to 22. The Palais Royal— | Annual November CLOTHING CLASSIC in which we feature 300 "LYNBROOKE" INSTANT STARTING WITHOUT DRAIN ON THE BATTERY Sm1O-W-20-W| * & * WINTER MOTOR OIL » # =» LUBRICATES AT SUB-ZE BETTER PERFORMANCE « LONGER m} l./FE oonll BAYERSON OIL WORKS - COLUMBIA 5228 Separate $400 Entrance MEN'S” STORE '0% swee. Five Ways to Buy: e Letter of Credit o Extended Pay- ments e Charge Account e Pay Cash ® Pay a nominal deposit and have your coat delivered later—when you want it. 3.95 Raglan or Set-in Sleeve Models And in this group there’s but 50 of these splendid coats to be offered at this unusually low price Saturday. Full or half pleated, sports backs. checks in brown, gray and blue. Novelty plaids and Every one expertly tailored and finished just as though the price was many dollars more. Sizes 15 to 22. Youth’s Dept.—Main Floor