Evening Star Newspaper, June 6, 1929, Page 36

36 ‘W——:—'—‘— MONEY FOR NOTHING By P. G. Wodehouse merican nt, 1920, by North Al (Copyright. 4 Joitaan Synapsis of Preceding Chapters. finds an_intruder about to | is uneie's home via & window. He | the facts of the situation. | Dolly and “Soapy” Mol lieves to be rich Americans. | cle. Lester Carmody. to (he | fake Durgiary to explain the dis- | ce of vaiuable ooms that he | "o turn into cash. but is prevented | ‘trom selling_ They call in Chimp a crook. to do the Hugo has no idea of All this is_equaled | by Ris passion inding_other | people’s bukiness. He has just enraged h; cousin, Jehn Catroll ndering A D Pokal of marriage on his (John's) behalf t Patricia Wyvern, who refects. it . (Continued From Yesterday's Star.) I l morally he possessed more than the normal store of cour- age. At Cambridge he had boxed for his university in the light-| weight division and once, in London, the petty cash having run short, he had | tipped & hat-check boy with an aspirin | tablet. Moreover, although it was his| impression that the few drops of whisky | he had drunk in John's room had but | scratched the surface, their effect in| reality had been rather pronounced. “In some diatheses,” an emincnt phy- TEENTH INSTALLMENT. UGO CARMODY was no pol- troon. Both physically and sician has laid down, “whisky is not immediately pathogenic. In other cases the spirit in question pr marked cachexia.” Hugo's was very marked. He would ha sented keenly the suggestion that he| was fired, boiled, or even sozzled. but he was unquestionably in a definite condition of cachexia | In a situation, accordingly. in which might have quailed, he filled with gay exhilaration. | He felt able and willing to chew the head off any burglar. Glowing with | cachexia and the spirit of adventure he switched on the light and found| himself standing face to face with a| small, weedy man beneath whose snub nose there nestled a waxed mustache. | “Stand ho!" said Hugo jubilantly falling at once into the vein of the quarrel scene. In the bestom of the intruder many emotions were competing for prece- dence, but jubilation was not one of them. If Mr. Twist had had a weak | heart, he would, by now, have been breathing his last, for few people can ever have had a nastier shock. He, stood congealed, blinking at Hugo. | Hugo, meanwhile, had made the in- teresting discovery that it was no stranger who stood before him. | “Great Seot!” he exclaimed. “Old | Doc. Twist! The beautiful, tranquil-| thoughts bird!” He chuckled joyou: His was a retentive memory, and he | could never forget that this man had once come within an ace of ruining that big deal in cigarettes over at Healthward Ho, and had also cajlously | refused to lend him ‘a tenner. Of such a man he could believe anything. even ! that he combined with the duties of a physical culture expert a little burglary on the side. “Well, well, well!” said | Hugo., “Remember March, the Ides of March remember! Did not great Julius bleed for justice’ sake? What villain | touched his body that did stab and not | for justice? Answer me that, you| blighter, yes or no.” | Chimp ‘Twist licked his lips nervous- 1y. He was a little uncertain as to the exact import of his companion’s latest words, but almost any words would have found in him, at this moment, a distralt listener. “Oh, I could weep my spirit from my eyes!” said Hugo. Chimp could have done the same. ‘With an intense bitterness, he was re- gretting that he had ever allowed Mr. Molloy to_persuade him into this rash venture. But he was a man of resource. He made no effort to mend matters. Soapy, in & similar situation, would have done it better, but Chimp, though not. ng his old friend’s glib tongue and insinuating manners, did the best he could. “You startled me,” he said, smiling & sickly smile. “I bet I did,” agreed Hugo cordially. “I came to see your uncle.” “You what? “I came to see your uncle.” “Twist, lie!" And what is more, you lie in’your teeth “Now, see here——" began Chimp, with a feeble attempt at belligerence. | country Newspaper Allfance and Metropolitan Bervice) honesty that they pass by me like the idle wind, which I respect not. Must 1 ive way and room to your rash choler? Shall I be frightened When a madman stares? By the gods, you shall digest the venom of your spieen, though it do split you. And what could be fairer than that?" said Hugo. Mr. Twist was discouraged, but he persevered I guess it looked funny to you. see- ing me come in through a window But, you see, I rang the front door- bell'and couldn’t scem to make any one hes Away, slight man “You want me to go away? Twist, with a gleam of hope You stay where you are, unless you'd e me to lean a decanter of the best port up against your head.” said Hugo. “And don't ficker,” he added. awaken- ing to another gricvance against this unpleasant little man. “Don't what?" inquired Mr. uzzled, but anxious to oblige “Flicker. Your outline keeps wob- bling and T don't like it. And there's another thing about you that I don't like. I've forgotten what it is for the moment, but itll come back to oon.” He frowned darkly. and for the fi time it was borne in upon Mr. Tt that 1is young host was not altogeth himself. There was a gleam in his eyes that, in Mr. Twist's opinion, was far Id to be agreeable “I know,” said Hugo, having reflected ‘It's your mustache ustache?”” wever it is that's broken out on your upper lip. I dislike it intensely. When Caesar lived.” sz lously, “he durst not thus ha me. And the worst thing of all is that you should have taken a quiet, harmless house and called it such a beastly, repulsive name as Healthward Ho. Great Scot!” exclaimed Hugo. knew there was something I was for- getting. All this while you ought to have been doing bending and stretch- ing exer “Yyour uncle, T guess. is still down at the concert thing in the village.” said Mr. Twist, weakly endeavoring to change the conversation. Hugo started suspicion flashed into his eyes. ‘Were you at that concert?” sternly. “Me? No.” “Are you sure, Twist? the face.” ‘'ve never been near any concert.” “T_strongly suspect you, “of being one of the leaders in that said Mr. Twist, me he said Look me in true. There can stitute for either one. Bayer Aspirin is genuine. It is the accepted antidote for pain. Its relief may always be relied on, whether used for the occa~ sional headache, to head-off a cold, or for the more A look of the keenest | said Hugo, | BAYEB. ASPIRIN is like an old friend, tried and THE EVENING STAR. WASHINGTON. D. T. THURSDAY, JUNE 6. 1929.° | concerted plot to give me the bird. I | think I recognized you." “Not. me.” “You're sure?” “Sure.” | “Oh? well, that doesn't alter the | cardinal fact’ that you are the bloke | | Who makes poor, unfortunate fat men | do bending and stretching exercises.| S0 do & few now yourself.” c “Stretch!” said Hugo. tretch? “And bend,” said Hugo, insisting on| full measure. “First bend, then stretch. | Let me see your chest expand and hear | the tinkle of buttons as you burst your | walstcoat asunder.” { Mr. Twist was now definitely of opin- | jon that the gleam in the young man's eves was one of the most unpleasant and menacing things he had ever en- countered. Transferring his gaze lmm} knit | this gleam to the other's well frame, he decided that he was in the presence of one who, whether his sin- gular request was due to weakness of intellect or to alcohol, had best be| humored “Get on with it.” said Hugo | He settled himself in a chair and| lighted a {te. His whole manner was suggestive of the blase nonchalance a Sultan about to be entertained by | crobat. But, though his bea nonchalant. that gleam w and Chimp Twist he: He bent, as requeste and then, having bent, stretched. For some moments he jerked his limbs painfully in this direction and in that while Hugo. puffing smoke, surveyed him with Janguid appreciation. “Now tie yourself into a reefer knot,” said Hugo. Chimp gritted his teeth. A sorrow’s crowd of sorrow is remembering hap- | pier things, and there came back to| him the recollection of mornings when he had stood at his window and laughed heartily at the spectacle of his patients at Healthward Ho being hounded on to these very movements by the vigilant| Sergt. Flannery. How little he had s | posed that there would ever come a *ime when he would be compelled him- | self to perform these exercises, And | how little he had guessed at the hide- ous discomfort they could cause to a| man who had let his body muscles | Tow stiff. Wait.” said Hugo, suddenly. Mr. Twist was glad to do so. He straightened himself, breathing heavily. Are you thinking beautiful thoughts>" Chimp Twist gulped. “Yes,” he said, with a strong effort “Beautiful, tranquil though Yes." Then carry on.” Chimp resumed his ealisthenics. He was aching in every joint now. but into his omfort there had been shot a faint gleam of hope. Evervthing in this world has its drawbacks and its ad- vantages. With the drawbacks to his present situation he had instantly be- come acquainted, but now, at last, one advantage presented itself to his no- jce—the fact, to wit, that the stagger- ings and totterings inseparable from a performance of the kind with which he was entertaining his limited, but crit- | ical audience had brought him very near to the open window The Mark of Gengu:ne Aspirin.. never be a satisfactory sub How are the thoughts?” asked Hugo. | time, found himself suddenly overcome ¢cy?? “8till beautiful?” Y” COLLEGE ALUMNI Chimp said they were, and he spoke | | by & paroxysm of coughing. It was the moment for which Chimp sincerely. He had contrived to put a Twist had been waiting. There is, as| space of several feet between himself | and his persecutor, and the window gaped invitingly almost at his side. “Yours,” said Hugo, puffing smoke meditatively, “has been a happy life, Twist. Day after day you have had the privilege of seeing Uncle Lester doing| Just have enou| have and fool gling for recel where what you're doing now, and it must beaten a cireus hollow. It's funny gh, even when you do it, and you n't anything like his personality appeal. you look It vou could see what a It would kecp you gig- 1 & said Hugo do the one toes without know ration; your ving an insg you touch bending the knees.” In all human afairs the semblance of a cons| To Chimp Twist, as he endeavored to| comply with this request, it seemed in-| credible that what he was doing could | strik on t ny given thing is bound to vary iderably with the point of view To Hugo. d as if as hums us. hand, it appear e any one he other the entertainment had now reached its apex purp! he abandoned rocked in his chair to inhale cigarette smoke at the same' of wholesome fun. As Mr. Twist’s le face came up for the third time himself to mirth. He and. rashly trying Ronnie Fish would have observed in the village hall an hour or so earlier, if | the audience had had the self-restraint to let him get as far as that, a tide in | the affairs of men which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. Chimp did not neglect the opportunity fate had granted him. With an agile bound he was at the window, and rendered sup- ple, no doubt, by his recent exercises leaped smartly through it He descended on the dog, Emily, whe was out for stroll before turning in and had paused beneath the window to inve ate smell. She was trying to make up her mind whether it was rats or the ghost of a long-lost bone when the skies suddenly started raining heavy bodies on I | “Emily was a dog who, as a rule, took things as they came, her guiding motto in life being the old Horatian nil ad- mirari, but she could lose her poise. She lost it mow. A startled oath escaped her, and for a brief instant she was completely unequal to the situation. In this instant, Chimp, equally startled. but far too busy to stop, had disengaged himself and was vanishing into the darkness. (To be continued.) Dethol kills Flies guickly-surely You nezd no longer put up with flies. Dethiol kills them by the roomful. No swatting. No chas- ing. No fuss or bother. A few quick shots from the handy Dethol Sprayer and the air is misty with a clean, refreshing odor. No escape for the pests. ‘They must breathe it—then die, every last one of them. Ask for Dethol by name. Be 1007, satisfied with the way it works or get your money back. every last cent of it. Sold everywhere. Dethol Mfg. Co., Inc., Richmond, Virginia. serious aches and pains from neuralgia, neuritis, rheumatism or other ailments. It's easy %o identify Bayer Aspirin by the Bayer Cross on every tablet, by the name Bayer on the box and the word ‘‘genuine’’ always printed in red. Hugo checked him with a gesture. , Cassh in your and largest milk company in the U.S. A. (Paste this tested recipe in your cook-book) éhzckm Shortcake Mix and ife togeche spoons baking powder and 13 teaspoon salt. Rub into the dry ingredients /4 cup butter and mix to a soft dough 1 cup Borden’s Evaporated Milk, water. Turn on a floured board and pat or roll out lightly Put in a round, buttered tin and shape with back of hand to fit pan. Bake fifteen minutes in hot oven. Pull apart in two layers, fill and cover top with creamed chicken. Lo cups flour, 4 tea itk diluted with 14 cup n slowly 1 cup cut in small five minutes cake a luscious chicken shortcake | flaky with Borden's ‘double-richness’ Tender chicken buried in a smooth cream sauce. Crumbly hot cake. That’s chicken shortcake the Borden way—with its subtle cooked-with-cream flavor. Because =i/ Borden’s Evaporated is doubl cious cream in every single Creamed Chicken Mel:2 ubiespon 2 i Mo in top of f.fi: 2 -l;va;‘-:w/-z in the butter five minutes. Stir in 2 hicken stock, stirring until the Cook over hot water ten minutes. Add 2 cups cooked chicken ieces and 1 table; nger. Put between layers and on top of short- fore serving. Aspirin is the trade mark of Baver Mapufacture of Mano- aceticacidester of Salicylieactd eat - = ? ns butter louble boil oon salt and dash of mace. Pour Evaporated Milk and 3 cup ure is smooth and thick. Borden poon minced patsley. Cook spray et Crush ho is makin unanimo Orange-Ola Sundae Orange Banana Royal Pine Orange Sundae Orange Melba Sundae Orange Blossom Orange-Crush Delight Orange-Crush Freeze Orange Cream Puff Sundae Floridian Sundae Qrange Nut Parjait fiMeefi WILL HONOR SENIORS Plan Dinner for Graduating Class of Accountancy Law Schools. and Members of the Alumni Association of the District of Columbia Collega of the Y. M. C. A. will tender a compli- mentary dinner to seniors of the Schal of Accountancy and School of ¢ the college at 6:30 o'clock thi the assembl Huston Thomr c trad> commissioner ar he Washington Young Association, will address the alumni. Dr. James A. Bell, I ‘mer president istian pective ad of the HOSPITALS WARN: “HMarsh toilet can l«‘"FQl ENT cases sometimes even caused by harsh, coarse-grained toilet paper. Yet it is a startling fact that much of the paper sold for bathroom use today is really unfit for the purpose. It may be glazed. Harsh-surfaced. Or sharp-edged. Unsafe . . . and especially dangerous for children and elderly people to use. For your family's sake, don’t take chances v ith the paper you buy. Ask for ScotTissue or Waldorf. Hospitals and doctors approve and recommend these soft, linen-like tissues. They are specially processed to meet all medical standards, Selling Bra; Fit the standard buil 4 © 1929 Seott Paper Company e trouble” in the World -in fixtures | college, and William Knowles Cooper. [ retiring general secretary of the Y. M C._A., also will speak. ‘The alumnti association will elect offi- cers for the ensuing year after the din- ner. Edward C. Steagall, president of | the’ organization, will preside, Tomorrow night at 6:30 o'clock the | annual dinner of the Woodward School for Boys will be held in the Y. M. C. A, assembly hall. Rev. Homer J. Councilor will speak Scholastic and athlstic awards will be announced at the dinner Sports Were Gocd Givers. ‘The inmates of the workhy e at Br ghton, England, scemed to b~ rather well supplied with pocket money when it was found that it was a custon sorze of the aged inmates to hold caps over the wall while crowds passed to and from the race course. At onc meeting the total received was between £80 and $90, which was shared by all the inmates of the aged department. v ns Iuminumsas.i- qie? ily sOS R WET ~: PAD JusT AN .-”” Extra Soap nno'hfl"..““' paper may of inflammation—and serious infection are Soft R as old Linen cofli The absorb white Toilet Scott p aper any oS "-:f I sUé P o efl];cap s U.S. ¥ & INGHES Just ask the young gentleman for your favorite—Orange-Crush has revolutionized all of them! cream, sherbet, fruit, nuts and whipped cream, that it has given new and brought thousands of new customers! is equally good with orange sherbet in an Orange-Blossom, in a sim- ple Orange-Crush Lemonade, and in Pine-Orange and Orange-Melba Sundaes. It is delightful in a Grape Juice Punch and Orange Nut Parfait or an Orange Glace. Think of any fountain drink or fountain dish you like, and try it with Orange-Crush. It blends so irresistibly with ice appeal to the old favorites, has produced scores of new combinations,