Evening Star Newspaper, October 25, 1925, Page 79

THE SUNDAY STAR, WASHINGTON, TOBER 25, PART 5 5 192: Celebrities, Our Returning Travelers and the Modern Wet-Drys “People Who Do Things” and the Thrill That Comes When They Appear in Public BY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM. S Willlum Shakespere, the bo: who put_Bacon on the literary menu. often used to say to the newspaper reporters, I owe much of my success to the Women's Club of merica, and you may quote me as saying so.” And how yme_clearly to my mind about this t year when our Ladles Thurs. ub elected me to be the one to tain the guest of the month. You at our club we got quite @ num of original ideas, and one is to entertain some cel ty each month b =xer and better things in life. » dute we have had, for a sample, f. Goulash, the Hungarian cham on beef stew slinger: Calliope Diu hram, the water coloratoro contralto e ‘Cheesecloth, the Greek om Athens, Georgia, and etc it this time the invite had been sent out by Miss Demeanor, that b e blond who is engaged to Dr. Salary he had invited Miss Athea Hed *he authoress, to come and talk to us her art, and it was my turn to have the affair at my house, and I will B t honored, on account I just meet people who really” do And Vs baving d Adished Kht ledge was of that, she written the sweetest poem, wther had guyed her” all a net. and got it ity (€ fact understood + was worki t could be club paid we ladies ) next to cheese { Miss Demear { Viss Althea exper al de h pic s me ¢ Nat hted ut the {de rkington had word he he could cept o graclous invitation, Was up against it Vell, when I got home that night I commenced to wonder what I would do 1o entertain Miss Hedge in the way he was accustomed, but I didn't veally know what authors was accus. tomed to, if anything, I told| eorge, that’s my husband, as much of what was m, mind as 1 fel t healthy for him to know, and Geo, | had a good idea. Why, he that'll bhe on tl afternoon f lloween, won't it Why don't-cha have it a alloween party? I says fin 1 n get and etc. at the five and dime, ve a real original te interns and witches on the paper napkins, and T'll get| rome or repe paper and cut it all | up Into little ribbons and hang ‘em from the chandelier and all like that, agimme two d¢ please, dear, this a is already running into money but then we don’t often get the chanst to entertain a autho And , all here's the two, but for the luvva I don't haf to come to this do 17 And I says certainly not, ladies intend to exercise our in. ellects that P. M. and we don't wan no husbands around, crampi our | was 1 espe t sent not uc and we | Al the favors | 1 wil . with pumpkin nd black cats * x i ) t nyway 1 2 idea come over me, and dear, what is hallo And &eo. says why er lemme see, it t a holiday exactly except for the fellers that makes the halloween favors like you spoke about. And a holiday for garden gates, swinging signs and good manners among small boys Well, T says, I betcher it mea something else esides, I'm gonner look 1t up in the dictionary and I did. Well, Mr. Webster had it where it was the day before All Saints day. Hot Bozo! I says, when I read th lieve you me, all the rest of Thursday Club may be sa fter one of our entertain ments but not the hostess. It seems to emve T heard someplac Hal- | lowaen was the day when all the hob zoblins and e d evil spirts was “t loose, that's 2 terrible thing, Geo. especially when I'm entertaining. And ( well, I understand re are entirely too many evil spirits every day, in spite of prohibi but T don’t see how that will | your party, with only ladies | present Well, T says, the at-part will, especially if th; Mrs. Freddie Freenash comes, but I'm goner give hem littte as possible to meow | Jut. You just watch ‘em hob gob- | lin’ up my eats! And Geo. says thank | goodness you said I didn't hafto! Well, the last October number The Wom: Weak! had just come, | nd so I at onct »ked in the cookery | dept. to see did they have any suitable | ¢ its for stuff 1 could serve at my | NI A1 een, | x our | | Ladies | w | | | 0. says tion, frect true that is of any author | dancer | | usual Inda Gestion, the girl who runs | some pumpkins | dellied | was | the fce cream, will s to keep in actual touch with the i NO, I TAKE "EM FROM THE TELEPHO! tea that would be sure to be u knock- | punch, but no ki but without actually knocking ‘em out | T hardly set when I seen until after they got home, and as per |strange lady carrying a suitcase com- ing up the path, and realized where this dept. see, had some fine {deas. | it must be Miss Althea Hedge, on ac- The scheme for a halloween tea was | count anybody could tell she was a She give a receipt pumpkin seeds and for pumpkin, glacee. This you made by calling up the caterer and or: dering nge-ce in pumpkin-shaped forms. If the caterer didn’'t have any, there was no caterer, why Miss >stion pomted out in her articley it didn’t really matter. She also made a | nice suggestion for stuffed pumpkin, | You took a little piece of pumpkin, | scooped it out, stuffed it with lvrllnt‘:-!.: broke off the pumpkin part and put it away in the ice box for the next da dinner, and served the prunes. his a'dish from the Riff-tres Shetk, as the French for candied wore on a leash, the her skirt hung, and of intellect. way JELL, ty heart certainly beat high when 1 went down to greet her, awful proud to have her in my house, I opened the door before she could ring. and_held out my hand real dial. Why Miss Hedge! I says, m delighted to meet you, I am Mrs. Jules do let me take your Lug didn’t nobody meet vou at the sta- tion what a perfect shame come right in dear and rest a minute, can I get you anything? Well Miss He looked kinda surprised at that, but WELL, anyways, in preparation for | she come in and set one of the my afternoon tea in honor of the | hall ch nd made a reach for her great Althea Hedge, I made all that | tuff, and also called up Snooks hak- | ery and ice cream parlor and ordered | a few quarts and some ginger snaps | Ne : in case anybody actually wanted to!have here, a few s 0B eat, and I had heard where :|\nhm'~<"d"“» I says, I'd feel honored, r cenerally did. Then I moved all lh(-“’k”"“f‘-‘;“ Just this moment, 1 turniture out of the living room the [ £ROW YOUL - :‘hp..; ¥, an night before the affair and while Geo. | et us wait untll the other ladies get sat out in the hall on the piano stool | here, then you can show us all at the reading the part of the evening paper | 207, e they will be w0 inte which I didn't need to put over the{Siel What other ladics? sava she, seat of the chair I was standing on. | A08 FUSDE e oo I replaced the furniture with Showers| cpub” of course. h e ey of orange crepe paper until the place | were’ coming as soon as they heard looked like a golden Dower, OF ayoy were to be here—they wouldn't windstorm had struck it, or some-|rice meeting you for wor rirals ing. says Miss Hedge, I don't generally get Then, with my back aching so good | treated as good this: Whets £ that I realized the decorations simply | big idea? now! 1 savs coy must be wonderful, they hadder be,|you don't war flattery Ve why I and Junior picked up the|but how modest you scraps, while he kept up w string of | realize, though, that we don't often questions although he already knew | have the honor of entertaining a the answers in advance such as Ma, | successful professional woman like can I come to the deception, why | you! Don't you realize, dear . that can't T come? Can I have some of |1 am glving a big reception in your ou save me some | honor, and the company will be com candy, why can’t I come to the party | ing_any minute? Ma? And I says I've already told| Welll says she. so You, NO! And he says why not Ma? | notice eh, ‘well, T'd And I says because it ain’t for little | anvthing like thi bo And he says what is it for|dressed good enoy then? And I says heaven knows, I'm | lertainment, but commencing to wonder, my own self! B {in oy '\»: P Well, the next day of course I felt| mind Ay \‘Il; ")‘1‘“1‘& e pretty nervous, wondering what Miss | C9™® up ay - toom an Althes, Hedge would fhink of it, and | Take yourself at home: All right, 1 wondering if it wouldn't of been more | (T €Y B L 816 SAYE, DUL L C ke Lo of a compliment to of got some of her | 0 S1C WECESC YOU In (hom POk works and cut them up for DaDer|gyug hut I am aiready interested in garlands, instead, but it was too late | {p Tont completely solnd on en for that how. T just hag time to call| Spe give me a dazed kinda look at up the bakery about the cream, which | that, ‘and went on up to change her hadn’t come vet, it was promised for | waist. That's swell! I heard her say two and here it was tfive to four. Well | aq she wi leaving me to wait for st managed to call them and learn | the first arrivals and meditate on how it w to where, not spec- | simple, mod: and yet brilliant she ifled—and to change into my beaded | was, and how I would always remem- frock which was as beaded as the new cider I was serving—a grand ! fall with such a crash. ERE nks, she says, nobody met me at station but I didn't expect it. And now let me show vou something I be so i . they all »u ‘must 1 vou-all got hardly hoped I don’t h for any big en I got another shirt- if vou don't #DIRECTORY AND WORK ON A COMMISSION.” Well anyways, | author by the eve glasses which she | other unmistakable signs | Well, T'll tell the world, in case | the soclety reporters don't, that reception was a wonder. And when | the lagies come up and met Miss | Althea Hedge and asked her questions about her work, her answers was | simply brilliant. When Mrs. Goofnah, | for u sample shot her a deep one to | the effect “do you take your charac- | ters from 1 life or do vou work b inspiration’ Miss Hedge says ™ I take 'em from the telephone dir tory and wg on commission. Wasn't that inspirin Then Mrs, Freenash wanted to know when Miss Hedge done h work, at night day. And Miss Hedge says from | S to 4. daylight. There was a tense | something about her us we all come to agree—a somethinz—ah! You get me! | Several times wh the reception | was going on Miss Hedge give 'me the | nudge and says, will 1 get out my | books now? the time never | red just right 1 kept saying a while, and then & 11 to onct it 16 to meet the tive fifte n ladies commenced to Jing merely to say what a honor. reshing to great mind, and the house a wr ist was about to colmmenc wonder what to do | with Miss Hedge, who didn't show no signs of golng, who would I see com ing up the path waving a telegram only that bottle blond Miss Demeanor, the one which had invited Miss Hedge | the first y was the only member « nadn’t be e n sear my recep- Jennie Jules! she panted as she | rushing up the steps : | use. Aln't it awfu 1 I been waiting at t and now I just went home a this telegram from Althea Hedge she's fell down and bre Bage nt and she i what'll do? But, I my and the reception says Miss Demeanor she the says. Miss and let out o my riend Alth. she says. 1 is @ perfect stranger 1o Then who is she? I says, come wve us find out. So I and Miss Demeanor went on in the living room, and I says who are And she says why I'm Miss Gussie Hedge, the hook agent of course, she says, and I've got a set of books here that you | ladles cannot afford to be withou if yvou'll just kindly give me your tention for a minute, Il . . . But our attention was the last thing T and Miss Demeanor was giving out just then. Whatter you going to d about it? she says. And I says, after all the trouble I been to, I'm gonner | do_absolutely nothing, them women will never know t difference and if they do find out, why I'll just merely ay it was a little Halloween trick of B to and come the } an is all over. where? living room, I ¢ give one look t that ain't me! on, 1 ¥ ber the words of wisdom she had let | mpine. 1025 (Copyright ) “We Now Have Wet-Drys and Dry-Wets,” | Says BY SAM HELLMAN. - SEE,” remarks the wife, “that the church people and whisky | folks ar talking about get- ting together und bringing | beer back “yeh says I, “but if 1 was you T wouldn't hold my thumbs on a hot stove until it happens. It took about 50 years to make the country dry and it's going to take at least that long to make it moist again- officially. “I dor misses. “You 'Give t Valstead tute bouks the 11 | | 't see why,” remarks the ent 1 consider back. When the v in on the| 5 o women vot nd all the gangsters were the law. Now the women have votes and besides they got the gangsters with ‘em.” “With * puzzles the wife. “How do you mean. “Tha asy,” T tells her. “Half of the old-time bartenders, hop peddlers, d heclers and that kind of tripe | are bootleggers now, and they ain't zoing to be for nothing that's gonna put their graft on the hummer. I a piece in the paper the other where they figured out in Wash- | inztod that they were at least a mil- ion and a_half rum runners in the count We now got the pretty sight the W. C. T. U. and the toughest of the tough voting the same ticket—neither of ‘em want hooch sold on the square.” “There some difference,” sniffs the frau, “between beer and hooch.” “That’s the bunk,” 1 assure her. “If | they let "em sell 4 per cent beer they're going to have a swell time keeping ‘em rom selling whisky, too. Once the «oor is open part ways it ain't gonna take much to push it wide.” Vhat do you think they ought to as If it matters?” inquires Kate. ‘Personaliy,” sca 1, *“prohibition has had a five vears' chance and no- hody but an 1diot’ll argue that it ain’t casler to get a case of gin today than & was five years ago. Two years after rohibition is supposed to have been | h effect it cost you anywheres from £75 to $100 to grabh vourself a dozen quarts of hooch. Today salesmen bat at forty and tie for your business forty-five dollars u case, and it’s darn | sight better stuff than it used to be. Last weck at least six guys called up the office to try to get my busl- comes don't, is ing | only true in the large cities, isn't it?" Higgins, View “But that 15 the . because, I mentioned be bootieggers'll spend millions keep anything from being done. Wouldn't it be a grand joke if the church people finally agreed to let liquor be sold un. der strict regulation d the hootle gers beat the scheme “What's going to asks Kate My guess is, “Maybe,” says the wife : No, it isn't,” I retur: Out_in (ebraska and Iowa the revenue folks are complaining that there is more corn juice being peddled around than ever before. The hospita and the poor farms and the nut factories ave fuller'n ever. Prohibition has been a flop »u can gather how much of | a flop when you reads the report of | get a heap lot rottener before they'll them church folks. You got to re.|get any better. The country’s got to member they're leaning backward in|be more disgusted than it is now be favor of the drys, and when they ad-|fo change is gonna be made. mits that conditions is rotten you can All this talk about a compromise be- just bet they're rotten. Just the | tween the wets and the dr is the same, nothing won't be done about it.” | llah-blah. The wets right now think Why not2” asks the misses. they got the drys slipping, and nobody “Because,” T tells her, Te too | compromises with a guy that's siip- many reformers making a living out [ping. The dry leaders won't compro- of the Anti-Saloon League, and also | mis happen then?’ says I, “that things'll ATTA Boy O2TE - ONE CASE CF EACH - AN SEND EM UP TO “TODAY THE SALESMEN BATTLE FOR YOUR BUS AND FORTY-FIVE A CASE™ e for the reason I told you—they | ng Latest Events | don’t want to have to go to work." “That's terrible;” sighs the wife. “I wish we'd either have the country | all dry Il wet and get it done| with.” | You and me.” T tells her, “won't| live to see any legal change, but} | there'll be a change just the same.” “How?" she inquires. “Well,” 1 replies, “here’s the first | | thing that'll happen: Now that a| | congressman can quote church folks | | as saying that prohibition is a flop, he | | won't be so cowardly about where he | stands, and I look to see a gradual in- | | crease of wet babies in Washington— | not enough to repeal the Volstead act, i but enough to throw wheels into the wrench.” “If they ain’t enough to repeal the 1law,” inquires the misses, “what good | can they do? “You'd be surprised,” T comes back. “You get a good, strong wet minority in the House and they can crab the act quick just by blocking the appro- priation to enforce prohibition. It | don’t taYe many lads to start a fill buster, and once the appropriation is blocked you'll see the fur fly | “That," suggests the wife, “would just make it easy for the bootleggers.” “I told you,” T reminds her, “that things would have to get a whole lot worse before they got any better.” “What," asks Kate, “would happen | after that? { “After that,” I goes on, "booze would | be sold_more or less openly for a | while. Nobody being paid to enforce | the law, nobody would do it, and in a | few years we'd be back to the saloons jand winerooms. About once every | vear or so the barkeep would be hauled |'up in court, fined $500 or eo, and | that'd be about all that'd happen. That's what happened in the case of {prize fights, race tracks and_segre- | gated districts, with the result that imust States have now legalized fip:its | es, and racing is coming back with the bang. Here's the argument: If fights and racing are going on, why shouldn’t the State get some revenue out of it? So eventually they are legalized. The | same thing will happen with booze in | the long run. The people will get dis- ‘ gusted with seeing liquor sold all |around 'em without the Government getting a sou out of it, and there'll be the one for 6-yr.-old David costed $32.00 | i > < 3 | that had "took root in the young Bay Symptoms of Derangement of Mind When Traveler Is Back From Europe BY STEPHEN LEACOCK. HIS is the season when all the hundreds of thousands of peo- ple who havi been over to Europe on a Summer tour are | back again. It is very gen- erally supposed that a tour of this kind ought to have a broadening ef- fect on the mind, and this idea is| vigorously propagated by the hotel, | companies at Schlitz, Bitz, Biarritz | and picturesque places of that sort It is not for me to combat this idea But I do know that, in certaln cuses | at least, a trip to Iurope sets up | stinct disturbance of the intellect. | sme of these afflictions > well Qefined that they could almost e | definitely classified as diseases. T will| | quote only a few among the many ex amples that might be given. Aristocropis, or weakening brain from contact with the aristocracy. There seems to he no doubt that a | sudden contact with the titled classes disturbs the nerve cells or ganglions of the traveler from America, an brings on a temporary enfeeblement of mind. It is generally harmle especially as it §s usually accompanie by an extreme optimism and an exag gerated sense of importance. pecimen case. Winter conversa tion of Mr. John W. Axman, retired ardware millionaire of Fargo, Da ta, in regard to his visit to Eng land. “I' don't know whether T told you 1 saw a good deal of the Duke pshire while I was in England In fact, 1 went to see him at his seat all these dukes have seats, you know. You can say what you like about the British aristocra but when y¢ meet one like the Duke of Dumpshire, they are all right. Wh as simple as vou or me, or simple When he met me, he sald, ‘How are you? Just like that. “And then he sald, ‘You must be hungry. Come along and let's see if wo can find soma cold beef.’ easy as that And then he said to a butler or some one, ‘Go and see if you 0 find some cold beef.’ And pres. en v the butler came back and sald There's some cold beef on the table, and the Duke said, ‘All right et’s go and eat it And he went and sat right down in front of the beef and ate it. Just as you or I would. “All the time we were eat i duke was talking and lau mot 4 great sense of humor, the duke has. \fter he’d finished the Leef, he said, ‘Well. that was a darn good piece of beel!’ and, of course, we both 1. The duke's keen on politics, too—right up te about every thing. ‘let's see,’ he sald, ‘who's vour President now? In fact, he’s just as keen as mustard, and 1 2 of the | British roar: | ahead too. [1n for a terril | dent , he was just | Just as | | | “*ENGLAND CERTAINLY IS A RIPPING PLAC MET WERE SIMPLY TOPPING THE CHAPS WE eem to me away ahead of further on. They know to do things better. Now yo beefsteak. They c half as iin as we do, and put it rigt grid over hot coals. They keep in Or take n m way they cook them n eat two pounds to on } You see they'r we “France,’ he said to m: le time.” m, « after Inglish They're One’s | how Week Loss of Nuttolingual Own Language Across the thick No. 1 Verbati lch College Specimen ment of Mr. Phin from Umskegee homa, made immediately on his return from o three weeks' athle 1 with the hor Aggregal 1 nd ripping ¢ 1 The eat re a Fng Okl 1 Olympic are rtains 1aps | 1y topping. Of cou the whole one was treated absolutely top hole.” Spect than Or take deep meat § why the big pies at midnight. You there. The climate’s right more ring to one of those ien No ation ir s supplied eat can d for it “And, as I sa around noticing e everyti up. by Miss Phoebe the Beauty et and Back from Boom City, ) The Parls charming know whe | we used to to Gare where with soix “of M Contest when T travel T go erything and sizing meat, the soup they restaurants 1 ever cheap to in a have, the nes ng there's ervthing. very you t Seeing _in in Your: people rofssants Oth, What Is Rea appears that ma travel really the reflect They thi 1 in The and witness the Spin riar garcon anc the: where. Specimen Case Saskatoo, hotel man Seen By ED WYNN Dear Mr. Wynn school. Our teacher s pies. She told never ik us to make appenr she ince. her kir flectionate mea Raisin, Peach, r and o but what in the world is Pie?” Sincerely, I. COOKWELL Answer: “Affectionate Ple” means the upper and lower are dead stuck on each other. simply crust Dear Mr. Wynn: 1 speech next week Labor.” Can yo » me an example which fully explains the great differ e between thesa two factions? yours A. PLUMBER difference hetween or' is best explained I lend one of my friends ten doilars, that’s Capital Now, say I try to get it bac Labor, m to make and The « Dear Mr. Wynn: I am a little 8 vears of age and love to read fal storfes. 1 read all about Cindery and Princes and Kings and Queens and how kind and lovely they are. Tell me, Mr. Wynn, are “Kings and Queens” always good? ncerely yours, . DREAMALOT My dear child, are very good, “Three s” be: Answe; Queens’ Dear Mr. Wynn: I own a hotel in a country village. There is only one train, out of the town, each day Seve guests have complained about missing this train. They say I don't wake them fn time and I claim they den't get up when I wake them. Can you help me rectify this matter? Truly yours, “BIC BILL We ariar ment s sprea mar Oh wish my dear yon he said, ring thousand wherever 1 spoke 1 e th brothe 1 here like £0 back and others.’ And with such er he s Go t I spoke, T rer the Humy Londo their the In Tooting on If an hour of vhen 1 looked fnto and told them abou Tichigan )bages in the they jus ‘G nt back those right up to hi hand and I sald, ‘Oh I have come back,’ he that you've b ‘W whe: Just sy veg where. 4 thing else. The d “I'VE NOTICED SAGES ARE OLUR: THEIR SOFTER SAU- THAN Difference Betwéen -Crépital and Labor Loan of Ten Dollars in Handling a higl n game? .M. FRANTIC. As long as he is tryi in London they than they can i 3 lem is an easy one him down to e Woolworth Bu tell it storjes b lest Answer prove that pre srrfed T d He with New I showed h it took b n a bewildered m ned if 1 know 1y That'll Mr. age mped into an stepped ¢ to him W v, while w old man his foot. I hat must hav his hands in his 8 and 4 | ISEKID Answer next we THE RFECT FOOL. Orchestra. given in Lor in ted will be key the stage mea Dun walkin, Dor: sleep- floor. DITK MACKAY 10-2% Most of thé Celebfi&es That We Meet Are Looking for the People Next Door BY RING LARDNER. | [© the Editor: Looks like it was about time to give you the home news again and first and 4 most_the kiddies has all started back to school and it would not do to send them without they had new Fall suits so they went to town to get same and returned home with the tidings that dollars to say nothing about his 3 big whopping brothers, so it may sicken my rivals amongst the Authors league of America to know that I have in- definitely postponed my retirement from the field of bel canto. If memory ain't cock-eyed the sum of $32.00 would | of made dudes of me and all my brothers and sisters inclusive when we was around the age of the present incumbrance, a yelp for regulation and high license.” ‘You mean,” asks the frau, “that we'll go back to the licensed saloon?” “No, I don't.” I returns. “But I do think we'll go in for the Canadian sys- tem, where all the hooch belongs to the government and is sold only in, cases and bottles from regular sta- tions. We'll never get back to the brass rail and sawdust floow, but it'll be 80 that a family can buy so much |l a month and regular hotels can serve liquor at regular meals. The Govern- ment will make hundreds of millions out of that scheme dvery vear, decent people will have a decent amount of liquor in their houses, the bootleg- gers'll be put out of business and guys won't go blind from wood alcohol.” “When,” inquires the frau, “will all that happen?” “Not for a long time,” says I. “To even get it discussed you've got to have more disgust.” | anybody burdened with obe: During the early weeks of the Au-; tumn_season the boys was host to thelr 7 yr. old cousin, Bobbie Kitchel from Hingham, Mass., and it devel: oped in the course of the daily smail talk that Bobble had no idear that Fatty Arbuckle was a real person, but thought it was just a nickname for ity. This and many another puritanical notion ¥ the other male entrees but s I withdrawed my protest when I learned that the prize was a handsome pr. of enff buttons, which it don't make mno difference if mine is handsome or no on acct. of where my shirt sleeves leaves off. However life in Great Neck is just 1 thrill after another and we had not hardly woke up the next a.m. wher who should pay us a visit but Micl Arlen. The former Armenian w looking for the people that lives ne. It was decided that Bobbie would |door. That is how we get most of our be a logical oppt. for David on the | celebrities. Mike stayed long enough | tennis court and_ after one of their | to take off his coat and reveal that his | encounters the New England star |pants depended - for sustenance on | bragged that he had returned 2 of | neither belt or galluses but just natu- | David's serves whereas David had not | rally constricted themselfs at the waist | returned any of his. like the top of a tobacco pouch. His ft “I couldn’t unless I was on your|was clad In bedroom slippers which side of the net,” was the Long Island | Peggy Leech sald was on acet. of wizard's comeback. native consideration and respect for Outside of tennis games and swim- | Tuss. Mike has heard so many gags ming and getting ready for school the | ibout Armenians and rugs that his po boys has spent most of their time |lite laughter at same is more like the writing stories and fishing in the bay. | Perplexed whimper of a trapped zebu. Thelr success in the last-named diver-| The party that owns the vacant lot | sion ma% be summed up with the|on the pleblan side of ours has stuck statement that one day they seen a up signs all around saying No Shoot- | man in another boat catch a flounder. | ing which is just like as if I would Their writings seems to be largely |tack a notlce on our front gate read- mystery stories though one by Jemmie | ing, “Please Don't Wear High Heels was a character study of a hypochon- | on 'the Putting Greens.” We ain't| driac. In the first paragraph it said | got no putting greens and they's no that Mr. Jones, the hero, “married|chance for any shooting on the adfa- | young so he would have somebody to | cent estate unless somebody gets the complain to.” It was taken from this | {dear that they have been wronged that the author had been observing by our cow. Of course it does make family life outside his own home. you feel kind of comfortable to know The big social event of September |that if you was shot down on those was a treasure hunt at Angina Pec- | premi: who ever done it would toris, the Summer home of Miss Neysa | either half to admit that he defied the McMein on Manhasset Ba First | express wishes of the landlord or else gent's prize was win by a boy with | he can't read. the inconcetvable name of John Barag-| They don't seem to be much more wanath, who is Miss McMein's hus- {news this wk. only that we been play band in civil life. This was kind of ing a game for the past 2 days with State’s hoy's mind kept his cousins constantly’ guffawing. is ver you are doing and the telephone bell rings and You go to the telephone and take off the recelver and say hello and pretty soon the telephone girl says number please and then you say why you just rang and she says well they nobody on the line It can be seen that the girl has a slight advantage and wins most of the points, but once in a wile You can pretty near get even amming up the recefver and make some remark about the telephone com- pany Now days most bition gets themse! for inst. Atlantic City th of America, Brookiyn Homes, Jacksonville th the South, Indianapolis heart of the ( and ete. “ yrs. it seemed Great Neck W the g set rk ¢ slogan like Playground the City of Gateway of the Sweet- has to wouldn’t never plete without some such a but we was giving up hope that a ap- propriate one would ever be thought of when all of a sudden along comes the Great Neck News and hits the nail on the hammer with the first punch. “Wonder Great Neck” is the nom de plume with which we have been christened by this patriotic ga zette and how appropriate it s velil be readily appreciated by those that has drove Into our town for the first time and spends the next few epochs wondering how to get out Other things that makes this the wonder city of Long’s Island is won dering Why ins. Where to park, and Iow to get to Tommy Meighan's. (Conwrishic ibBAD the lights go out when it o