Evening Star Newspaper, October 4, 1925, Page 93

THE SUNDAY STAR, WASHINGTON, D. C, OCTOBER 4, 1925—PART 5. - 5 ‘Home Painting Jobs, Profits in Education, and Running for Mayor When the Estimates Were All Prepared The Big Decorating Job Was Postponed BY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM. ROF. LIMBERGER, who was quite the cheese at Garlic Uni- versity in the days when Geo., that's my husband and I didn't go there to college, often used to claim that “The Best Laid Plans Of The Nicest Men Oft Gang Astray.” i dunno just what he meant by them last three words, but I presume he was pointing out where they most often go astray when out with the zang. But When it comes down to the best laid plans of the nicest men, or ladies either, he said a certified check, as 1 found out only last week when I and George decided where we had better redecorate our house for the Winter season before our Ladies® Thursday Club commenced meeting here and other social activities such as our bridge-evenings and etc. We got to talking over it over the oatmeal and Geo. says well Jennle I can’t see anything wrong with' the way the house looks now, what's the matter with it anyway And I says Wwhy George Jules have you looked @t that pantry? The shelves is so Thing awful, they simply got 1o he re painted. And Geo. s ell, borrow @ paint brush. 1 got a can of white paint down cellar T bought to fix over inior’s bed a year or two paint the pantry first chanc And I says that's what you 3 ised about the iron bed. no, George, T says, it's really got to be done we «an’t wait for your spare time, it's 1he same as the spare on our flivver which you know very well there isn't any. I'm gonner have a professional inte rior desecrator do it, on account once the pantry is done we will haf to do the dining room, too, because other- wise it’s going to look like new but- tons on a old coat. And of course if the dining room manicure, why 1he hall and parlor something terrible. where's the limit? 1f you go into a barbershop to get «leaned up you wouldn't have one shoe shined and leave the other go, would you? And Geo. says well T admit I always thought the parlor would look good done in red paper with the woodwork stained brown, and T says ves, blue is my favorite color, with white paint, I agree with you perfect. And (ieo. B well, I won't have it, we can't fford to reline the nest this year, Jjust forget it, Jennie. And he beat it i to town. And so, us having agreed this way that the blue parlor would be best I thought I had better call up Gins- berg, Murphy, Inc., the well known painters and general undertakers, and have them send up a man to make the estimate. They said they would send their representative up at once, and 0 1 got right after my dishes in order that he would be able to get a clear view of the kitchen, and hardly had I parked the last saucer then the door bell rang and who would it be only that Mabel Bush, the one that's mar- ried to Joe Bush of the liawthorne Club. She was on her wav downtown to try and match a couple of Summer squash she had so's to have enough for dinner, and she dropped in sudden that way to see could she catch me at anything, but no luck. 1 had even changed from my_ gungalow apron to « foulard in case I decided to ask Mr. Tnc. to charge the redecorating. Clothes may not make the man, but it worn right by the right woman they often make him extend credit. ‘Well naturally Mabel was surprised seeing me doing the last tag of my housework looking like a kitchen kab- inet ad, and she says why hello dear, why the fighting clothes, are you afrald there might be a fire? And I says no, but I am expecting the Jr. member of the firm of Gins- berg, Murphy, Inc. to come ard give me a estimate on doing over the en- tire house, [ savs, we ain't redeco- rated in ten years, and 1 have made up George's mind that it's best to make a thorough job of it so long as we have to go through the mess. I'm Zonner have it repapered and painted from attic to cellar, according to some original ideas I have had for a long time, I gays. And Mabel says well T know you won't take my advice, but I wouldn't have any paper hangers working in “OUR JUNIOR ATE ALL HIS WHITE PASTE.” my house. T hope you have better luck then we did the last time we done over the parlor, the paper hanger was held up a whole day on account our Junior ate all his white paste, thinking it was some of my blanc- mange, T had left to cool And T says well dear, you couldn't blame the poor child, he probably didn’t know the difference, just let me tell you about the few original ideas I have for our house. And she says I'm afrald I can’t wait dear, and I says oh you don't have to, I'm gonner teil you at once. And since I was be- tween her and the door, I took my timi Now in the cellar, I commenced, I am gonner have a nice dark shade of coal black, so's not to show the dirt, with white warning signs on the pips and low places, where Geo. generally bumps his head in the dark. And I'm gonner have two tapestries to hang around the furnace: One with a scene from Dante's Inferno for Winter use, and one with icebergs for Summer, to help keep the house cool. And Mabel says of course it'll be sweet when it's done, but just vou look out that them workmen don't carry home any of your coal in their pockets; you know it's a awful temp- tation these days—not that you'll take my advice! Well, T says there’s no chance of that, T have every hunk registered. But listen to my idea about the kitchen. I'm gonner get the kitchen done over with portraits of hand- some policemen and strapping young icemen on the walls to keep our next cook, if any. from getting lonesome. Also I'm having a radio installed so's I can go over to station P. D. Q. and broadcast, when I need to tell her anything disagreeable, instead of risking life and limb by actual physi- cal contact. And I'm going to put in a electric stove, electric dishwasher, and it necessary, electric chai I be one hot kitchen, says Mabel, but T pity you, cleaning up each night after them workmen, not that you'd take my advice on the matter. Oh well, 1 says, edging between her and the door, the way the din- ing room is to be got up is gonne be worth the whole bother. I'm fin. tending to have the dining room fixed up with padded walls. They will be in white quilting with rubber springs behind the panels, so when Mother is visiting and Geo. passes some remark ghe don't like, why it will be less hard on my dishes, the ones that miss him will simply bounce back. Now that's a cute idea, says Mabel, not that you'll take my advice, but Story of Town That Was So Healthful They Had Trouble Starting Cemetery BY ED WYN EAR MR. WYNN: I am a scientist. At present I am ex- perimenting with “flies.” 1 am _trying to solve the big problein of the century, that This is my sixth vear on the subject and my greatest difliculty is to keep the flies over the Winter months. Last Winter I put # fly in a Cuckoo Clock to rest, but it woke the flv up every hour and the poor thing died from lack of sleep. Can you tell me the best place to Xeep a fly o it can rest peacefully? Yours truly, WILL U. TELPMEE. Answer: Nothing in the world, ex- cepting_the discovery of the North Pole, will be of greater benefit to hu- manity than the solution of the prob. Jem “Should Flies Marry?” I find That the fmportance of flies is a sub. joct to think about. Some folks like flies, others don’t. 1 know one man who owns a candy store and he likes ies 80 much that he has just en- cksmith for his store. nith is supposed to “shoo On the other hand, I hear el every day, of 2 man named Babe Ruth who doesn't like flies. At least it ap- pears so, #s he keeps hitting flies over the fence. Now I would like very much to help you, so after years of research work 1 find the best place to keep a fly, if you do mot want it disturbed at’ all, is in a Scotchman's pocketbook. Dear Mr. Wynn: T live in an apart- ment house and there is a rumor wbout & married couple, in the same building. The rumor is that the hus. land beats his wife up every morning. Do you believe this? Yours truly, 1. WONDER. Answer: T know the people you re- fer to and it is a fact that the hus- band beats his wife up every morn- ing. le gets up at 6 a.m., and she doesn't_get_up till 7. Dear Mr. Wynn: I am a young man, but am always in ill health. It may be the climate here in New York. I will o to any town you may Suggest that §s very healthful. Tours truly, D. PRESSED. Answer: The healthiest town I know ff is Crum City, Wyo. This town is why don't you flx the walls the same in the kitchen? Because we use all aluminum ware, 1 says, and it don't bend or break and it’s real light. But Mabel, 1 says, wait until I tell you about the hail and the parlor. Tn the hall I intend to put a handsome landscape paper, old-fash- | ioned paper, showing lovely views of churches and lakes and houses, and etc., you know the kind. And then to make it thoroughly modern and up-to-date, and to give a person the feeling the hall is merely the road to various places, I am gon- ner have signs put up, Parlor, 1-50 mile—Staircuse, straight ahead, Li-; brary 9-100 yard, turn left. And over the dining room door, I'll put a sign saying Hot Dogs, Waffles, Chicken Dinners, a Speclalty. You see, I says I want even strangers to understand we are a traveled familv. And Mabel says well, that will cer-| tainly bring the great outdoor indoors, are you going to have any advertising slgns? And I says well, I hadn't thought of that, but it would look more natural and perhaps help pay expenses, at that! But Mabel! I says, honest, the par- lor is the best vet. The walls is tol be baby blue georgette plastered to s in a straight line beltless The icing on the cefling is to be vanilla, and the flo quet. I saw the idea in Vanit t wa @ simple little room after the manner of Scrumble Egge, the Futurist Fur- nisher of Vienna and all points off; it belonged in the West Hoboken Home of Mrs. J. U. N. K. Heep: the Soclety leaderkrantz. And Hot Bozo. | If that woman can have it, so can I.| Well, says Mabel, personally I don't like to go bevond my station, either rallroad or financial. I'd rather see that room in a magazine then haf to live fn it: Not that you'd take my advice! 1 suppose vou're going to have them paperhangers and painters | and plasterers plastering up and down your stalrways, too? And T says ves {ndeed, I'm having water-color in the bathroom. and in | George's den a lot of sporting prints | such as cabaret-menus Atlantic City hotel bills, etc. you know, a regular | haigan's room! As for the nursery, why in there I thought it would be| cute to have a frieze of mottoes to| freeze Junior, such as “fold vyour| clothes, brush your teeth, pick up your toys.” You see what I mean dear, appro- priate stuff that will save his morale and my breath. Then below the dado why for wall-paper, 1 seen a cute pattern in Ginsberg-Murphy Inc.'s window the other day, that I thought | | wonderful would go fine for Junfor's room. It was all scrawls and curlycues, with faint grey harid-marks or maple leaves or something scattered through, so I figured where nothing he could do with a pencil or by leaning first in the dust-pan and then against the wall, would really change the design to_any degree worth spanking about. That's fine! says Mabel. I believe I will just drop in there on my way to the squash-courts, and make sure if they only got enough of that paper for one room! she suys, but are you £0ing to do anything with the serv- ant's room? Oh my I s What T am going to do to that is a plenty. I'm thinking of pink satin waflls inlaid in ivory enamel with tourist furni- ture and the best quality sticky fly- paper on the floor. If our next cook don’t stay, it won't be on account of that Yoom. But I says, the one room I can't decide about is the one I and George accupy. If only I could find some kind of snore proof material 1 would use it. And Malel ces, that would be pretty, especially with a little dash of lavender. 1 think your house, my dear. she says, is gonner be simply to put it mildly, but, she 1 certainly pity you. the mess| gonner be. And before 1 cou! declde exactly what she meant by that. she was beating it down the street Well, scarcely wa: who would arrive only Mr. Inc. and he was as cordlal as creme de menthe. I took him on a personally conducted tour de looks from cellar to attic, and as we traveled 1 explained to him all the details. Mr. Inc. didn't say a whole lot, was a closed mouth clam. His line was to uh-hu-mum-mum me, nod, and write statisties down in a little black note book he packed along. The only thing he added to the conversation was a few extras such as seven quothes of paint to make a real eood job of it, und etc. Then. when he had all the parts as- semhled, T pproached the ever em-} barrassing subject of how much would | it come to? The minute he went away I called up that Mabel Bush on the telephone. Say dear, 1 says, I been thinking over the good advice you give me, and de- cided not to bother with the house this season. And by the way dear. could you loan me a paint brush? And she xays why dear, I thought you didn't use any make up? And I says oh I'm merely gonner make up with Geo He promised to paint the pantry shelve: (Conyright. 1925.) says sa he gone then | he s0 healthy they had to kill two people last week just to start a cemetery. Dear Mr. W gust H. nn: My husband, Au- ‘age, Tents a store from a big corporation. His rent is due the last of every month. The corporation has written a letter saying: *'Unless your husband August pays his rent on the 31st of this coming August he will have to give up the store.”” It fsn't possible for him to pay his rent as business has been bad. What can we do about {t? Yours truly, TILLIE PAIGE, Brooklyn. Answer: Your letter was a long time coming because of delays in the forelgn malls, but just to show you what accurate predictions T can make T'll say that it looks to me as if the 1st of September saw the last of August. Dear Mr. Wynn: I am keeping com- |pany with a young lady. Last night |1 called on her to tell her I love her. | She didn’t answer me. T asked her |to be my wife, but still she didn't answer me. 1 told her I had bought the engagement ring. Still she said nothing. ~She acted as if she didn’t hear me. When I sald the engage- ment ring had two large diamonds and an extra large emerald she heard me. How do you account for these actions on her part? Sincerely, AL. KOHOL. Crazy - Quilt Hunting in Asia. URIOSITY among many birds and animals is not an uncommon trait, but in Central Asia there s a specles of partridge that seems to have more than its share of curiosity. In hunt- ing the bird the natives take ad- vantage of its weakness. If you happened to be touring through that section during the sea- son of this particular partridge you would notice peculiar objects of many brilliant colors bobbing along in_the flelds or from behind the rocks. In a country so plentifully stocked with strange-looking birds you might think these objects were nothing more than some new species that you had not seen before, but on closer examina- tion you would discover each of them to be a native hunter. In their left hands they are carry- ing screens of cloth that look some- thing like crazy quilts of the most glaring colors. This patchwork of colored cloth is stretched over a frame resembling that of a kite, and some of the cloth is tied on the edge in the form of streamers that wave back and forth in the breeze. The species of partridge for which the natives are hunting is called the chukar, or rock partridge. Chukars are plentiful, but they are so wild that the hunters find it difficult to get within shooting distance. Almost all native Asiatic hunters carry old-fashioned guns and if they cannot get close to their game they waste a great many shots. However, one of them somehow discovered that the rock partridge was brimful of curi- osity and quick to approach and in- vestigate any gay-colored thing. So he rigged up the kitelike contrivance, with its various colored cloths, and found that it worked with great effect, and he brought in so many of these usually shy birds that other hunters began to wonder how he aid it. Finally one of them chanced to meet him while he was approaching a covey of the birds and, of course, saw the brilllant lure he was using. Soon every hunter was making use of the contrivance, with the result that the hunti grounds are now dotted eaclr day With numbers of odd- looking crazy quilts waving in the air. - Answer: As your sweetheart didn't hear you till you mentioned the dia- monds and the emerald, it is quite evi- dent that she is stone deaf. Dear Mr. Wynn: Can you tell me how to string beans? Truly yours, RUE BOBB. Answer next week. As ever, ED WYNN “The Perfect Foo! (Copyright. 192 Curious Languages. AL.\IOST every one has had as a child the thrill of learning and speaking some variety of “hog| Latin"—that is, the secret dialects created by adding syllables to the familiar words of everyday speech. What we do as an amusement of childhood the mnative tribes of Cen- tral and Kast Africa do in utmost | seriousness. The code tongues, it appears, have come down apparently from the dim beginnings of man. Usually they vary from year to year, often from village to village, always from race to race and from sex to sex. The stern inhi- bitions of taboo have much to do with their existence. Certain subjects must not be talked about to children or to the uninitiated, nor may cer- taln words be used. You must not mention, for example, the dead, cer- tain numbers or flerce animals; must be allusive, not explicit, must use the secret language. Though usages vary, the everyday tongue is generally used as the base of the secret languages. The in- ventors add an extra syllable to each work as suffix or prefix or insert a consonant or a group of censonants into the middle of words, or turn cer- tain syllables backward or juggle the words in some other way. What makes the talking in code so baffling is that there is a new code every year for both men and women and that each annual code is understood and talked only by young persons initiated into its intricacies. Though with a little pertinacity middle-aged persons could pick up the code year after year, they rarely bother to do so after their youth. The excitement of picking up the annual codes soon weags off. So per- sons of the same sex, age and neigh- borhood find themselves able to con- verse confidentially with others like themselves. Thus in a mixed gather- ing, say, in a west African hut, half a dozen extremely confidential chats may be proceeding simultaneously and in complete safety among a dozen smart talkers bawling at the top of their voices. or you { mayor of > The New Age in Which the Studerlt Hopes - He Will Be Taught How to Make Money BY STEPHEN LEACOCK. T the present moment every newspaper in the civilized world, and in Russia, is pub- lishing statistics that show the unprecedented number of stu- dents seeking to enter colleges. At American colleges freshmen have been turned away in thousands. At Dart- mouth, Harvard, Yale and Princeton there is said to be standing room only; in the Middle West they are teaching the students in the open alr. At Oxford and Cambridge they are said to be admitting only students in the four quarterings (eight pints) of nobility. In Scotland the admission is being narrowed down almost as close- 1y _as spiritual salvation. In Russia they have had to abolish matriculation altogether, and admit everybody who doesn’t wear a collar. This tidal wave of students seeking to enter the universities set in imme- diately after the war, and shows no signs of abating. ‘What does it all mean? . A generation or so ago college edu- cation was reserved for the few. It was regarded as a very speclal path in life, the entry to which was open only to those of peculiar endowment. The bright boys went to college. The rest stayed at home. I remember 40 vears ago hearing somebody sa to an old Scotch-Ca nadfan farmer, “Mr. Angus, what are vou going to do with that boy of yours? I hear he's very clever.” “Aye!” sald the old man proudly, “I'm thinking that if he goes on as he is, we'll have to put the college to him Nowadays things are apt to be turned around. Only last Summer I heard a conversation that ran some- thing like the one above, but Wltl‘f a difference. “Mr. Angus, what are you going to do with that boy of yours?” “It's very hard to say: he seems no danged good at anything: we're think- ing he's only fit to send to college. There is no doubt that a great many bovs are lifted along through school and lifted clean into college because there s nothing else to do with them. I had a brother who entered Upper Canada College at the same time that 1 did, over 40 years ago. We were put into the first form. But my brother Dick grew so fast that they had to promote him into the second form at Christmas. “IN THE BEST UNIVERSITII » HAIRCUTTING, FISHING AND U DERTAKING WILL EVENTUALLY COME INTO THEIR OWN. The next term Dick was nearly 6 feet long and they had to promote him again. He still couldn’t do simple equations, but when he was over 6 foet high he had to be moved up to the senior fourth. If Dick hadn't run away from school and joined the Northwest Mounted Police, they would undoubt- edly have “lifted” him clear up to a B. A. degree—on sheer length. When I look over a first-year class I can distinguish at once a number of students who have got there by this process of “lifting.” Thelr faces wear « resigned air, as of the playthings of fate. As between Latin, spherical trigonometry and comparative reli- gion they have no preference what ever. They will “take’ Plato or take anyth out to them. T often that they have said good-by grief. Milton or “take” ing that is handed ¢ have “failed" They have been fined till they |live. are bankrupt. And when they are finally put out of college altogether, after two or thres years of effort, they submit with orental fatalism. People ask, “Why are such boys sent to college?” But tell me, where else can they go? And, incidentally, among them ars some of the best and decentest boys who ever misused a Latin subjunctive. Then, modern psychologists tell us that humanity gets only one idea at a time. We can’t hold more. So it comes about that the world at large has taken up the idea that a college education is an_admirable thing and it wants to get hold of some of it. The world, is both right and wrong. Centuriesago, when there first were colleges, they were founded mainly to prepare people to die. This was then the most important business in life. Later on the iden changed: the college was to prepare people to little second of eternity) the idea has changed again. The college {s supposed to prepare people to make their living. The col lege is presumed to be a place wherc a student {s trained to make money. You put the fees in a slot and vou draw out a salary. s It 1s this fact which is sending the tidal wave of students to the colleges and which is turning the college cur riculum upside down. There is an in creasing demand for what are called “practical” studies. The student doesn’t want to know anything. e wants to be taught to do something Instead of the search after truth which has proved unfindable—there is substituted the demand for an apti tude for “knowing how.” Hence the flood of vague and futile studies, each alluringly connected with the making of money. In place of physical sclence is sub stituted Instruction in running a gaso line engine, in place of literature is the art of writing jazzy promotion blurbs. In the place of political econ omy, which mezns properly a philo sophical analysis of industrial society and which has no connection whatso ever with fndividual acquisition of money, is substituted a cheap mess of stuff ahout salesmanship, price mak ing and meat pac 5 As yet the best unive fuse to teach hair-cutting, undertaking. But they are drifting nearer to them all the time: and they will eventually come into their own Of course the student has got to live. But it is well for him to remem ber now and then that he has to die the older notion was not absolutely Wwrong. Much that is called practical misses its own mark. The very directness of its alms runs it to the ground. The shot with the high trajectory makes hit every time. If a student wants to learn business correspondence, &0 | called, let Lim begin Ly understandinz that there is no such thing. There is nly correspondence between men in business. The simple but charming idea that a sentence had better have subject will brighten up a business letter to the point of exhilaration. The idea that a thou <hould have beginning #nd an end, if truly adhered { to.” will signal ou oung business ies still re shing and In our own immediate time (our writer amon employes. Ring as Candidate for New York’s Mayor “Would Give Free Passes After First Ride BY RING LARDNER. O the editor: Complying with the demands of practically the entire population of Great Neck, the writer has consented to run on an independent ticket for the mayor of N. Y. city at the coming election in November.” No idea of any such a proposition had entered my mind up to last Thursday inclusive but on Thursday evening the door bell rung for the lst time in mos. and mos. and vou willnever guest who was at the door it was Mr. LM Graham one of our most prominent citizens and chairman of the house- holders welfare assn. Mr. L. was Mr. Graham's opening remarks, on behalf of the household- ers of Great Neck 1 hereupon ask and demand that you allow the usages of your name as a independent candi- date for the mayor of New York. I appreciate the honor Mr. Graham was my reply, but a person that don’t livo in New York ain’t eligible for the ew York and in order for me to become eligible it would be nec- ssary for me to move to New York or in other wds. give up my residents in_Great Neck. That suits us was Mr. Graham's surprising reply, a palpable slip of the tongue. Well to make a short story out of it here I am a candidate for the mayor of the largest city in the world and my campaign committee have asked me to come out flat footed at this time and state my standing in regards to the various civic problems which now affronts us and which my rivals has made the principal issue of the im pending mayoralty. To begin with leave us take the question of the subways. Ior the benefit of out of town readers I would better exclaim that New York is a mess of tunnels in which is laid sub- ways in which to carry people to and from their work and back. On acct. of all these tunnels being burrowed in the ground, why, instead of naming the different parts of town depart- ments or sections like in Paris, Lon- don and etc.,, why in New York they call them burrows like the Burrow of Manhattan and the Burrow of the Bronx. Out in the Far West they have got a little animal which they call it a burrow, and when T first come to New. York I though that the Burrow of Brooklyn was a nickname for Mayor Hylan, but come to find out it is just what you half to go through to get to Coney Island. Now my rivals has made the promise that if elected. they will start right in and burrow some miore subways. Personly I am vs. the addition of any more subways as it is tough enough to find your way around on the ones they have all ready got. I have thought up a counter scheme which it looks to me like it would Kill two birds with one stone. Tt seems that another of the que: tions before us is the question of gar- bage disposal. My scheme would be to stop running trains on two or three of the present subway routes and you would have plenty of room to store garbage in the tunnels thus vacated. As far as the 6-.cent fare is con- cerned I think it is probably O. K. to charge a person that amt. the first time they ride on the subway but after all they ain’t much you can see down there and after you have rode on it once you have saw everything they is to see so I would issue but- tons to be presented to people that | it it was nessary for them to ride on the subway a second time they would just half to show their button and “YOU CAN'T GET EITHER HERE NOR THERE WITHOUT BEING SQUEEZED AND WARPED AND TROMPED ON.” » “I HEREUPON ASK OF YOUR NAME A MAYOR OF NEW YORK.” D DEMAND THAT YOU ALLOW THE USAGE AN INDEPENDENT CANDIDATE FOR THE ride free. And I think you would find that when people knowed they could ride free they’would not be so anxious to ride and hence depreciate the present congestion. Another scheme for cutting down on the congestion would be to have all the stores and offices open and close at different hours instead of $:30 am. and 5:30 p.m. like at pres Director’s Absence Gave Griffith His Big Chance BY PRESTON WRIGHT. HERE w the studio of the old Blograph s wild scrambling in company, at No. 11 East Four- teenth street, New York, one morning 17 years ago. The company was all set to make a film, and the camera man was reads to_shoot it. But the director hadn't shown up. The motion picture concerns of that day were not as complete in equip- ment and personnel as the great com- panies of today. There was no extra director around. It was mighty important, too, that the film be manufactured and shipped on schedule. In this emergency, J. J. Kennedy, one of the owners of the mompi. and its president, recalled a young man in his employ who, he thought, might be able to direct the picture. This young man was regarded as a YOl has took their first subway ride and | general pest by nearly every one in the Blograph ensemble. Employed in the role of actor, he took intense in- terest in other matters than his own work. He was, in short, a youth with ideas. He was full of them. They popped out of him like shots from a nwmchine gun, and he aimed them at every one. A lot of them had to do with the man- ner in which motion pictures were di- rected. David Wark Grifith wanted badly to be a director. However, nobody knows if he ever would have gotten his chapce if his boss hadn’t failed to show up that morning in 1908. This just forced the management to remem- ber that Griffith was the only person about the place who seemed to know anything about directing. “Get out the picture today,” they told him. There was plenty of room for im- provements in the pictures of the day, and David Wark Griffith injected a number of them his very first time on the job. He never went back to the role of actor. His employers realized they had found a genius. Griffith pictures no sooner reached the public then a heavy demand for more of them set in. They grew better and better, and 2 recelpts grew larger and larger. It is stated as actual truth that in no time the Blograph's hoard of di- rectors, coming to the daily luncheon table, lifted their plates invariably to find a $1,000 bill snugly hidden be- neath. Griffith started in at a salary of $20 a week. Soon he jumped to $75, and then $100. It was only a few years Jater, when Los Angeles became the center of the industry, that he went West with a contrac lling for $100, 000 a year. Some statistician of the motion pic- ture industry has fiffiured out that since Griffith began directing in 1908 he has made for others than himself total profits of $190,000,000. Although he didn’t know it, he was destined from early boyhood to be a ‘motion picture director. This statement muay seem strange, because, when Griffith was a little child the motion picture was not a means of public entertainment. But it it true. Griffith’s father was the celebrated Confederate Cavalry offisr, “Roaring” Jacob Wark Griffith, who left the Army at the end of the Civil War brevetted brigadier gencral. Gen. Grif- fith had a superhuman volce, and his orders could be heard at tremendous distances. It was told of him, too, that after his horse had been shot under him in battle, falling on him and breaking both his legs, he had led a Cavalry charge in a horse and buggy. The Griffith family, like many others in the neighborhood of La Grange, Ky., where David was born in 1880, was ruined by the war, the effects of which were felt even during the boy's early days. Friends visited together of evenings to be entertained by the readings of the classics in the light of a single candle. and to listen to stories of the war. Young David Wark Griffith, sit- ting in the shadows of a far corner of the room was imaginative. He found himself stirred. not by the words he heard, but by the pictures they painted. With closed eyes he en- visioned the panorama of great events and great deeds. Words were nothing, the pictures were everything. At sixteen he was a reporter on a The way it is now everybody the same time same time and u can't get either being squeezed mped on by biz nie stores < at noor and thex nstrictio » home at ult is that here, nor there witho and warped and t whopping shop girls open in the morni and still others at wouldn't be %o either to or fro. If for any for garbage the approval mit the follow creasing the numl be disposed of a. Make it compulsory citizen to keep 19 dogs. b. Offer medals and cash prizes for obesity and make dicting a felony. c. Have lots of company a specfally wrestlers. d. Don’t order stuff that nobody wants to eat like hominy and crackers and ete e. Cultivate a taste for fish peach pits, olive stones and ete. These items is often throwed away as offal but they ain't really so offal if chew- ed up fine. That leaves us without hardly any of the campaign issues to be took care of with the exception of grade school congestion and the of snow from the streets all of which can be tended to in a few wis. As far as grade crossings is con serned I have alwavs beeen neutral but would advice others that 1f they don’t like them why either go around the other way or stay home. As for school congestion if your kid squawks about_conditions us our N. Y. schools let him get his ed cation abroad. We don't want tho: kind of children in this country W finding fault with their Uncle Sammy. Last but not lease the peo ple that complain about the length of time snow is left on the streets would do well to follow the example of their mayor and spend the Winter in Florida they's a deuce of a lot worse places and not always in snow up to your neck. The Power of Light. T has been pointed only the direction of light but fts ered in estimati reasc dispos: 1bove plar neet with mirers 1 sub ethods for de r of garbages to for everv more greedy bones out that mnot and intensity color must be consid & its power to reveal fine details, Experiment shows that most persons are shortsighted for blue and violet light. When patterns are {lluminated ~alternately = with red, green and blue light it is found that for ease of seeing minute details blue and green light are preferabla to red for short distances, but that greater distances red light gives the best results Defaced Coins. ILLIONS of lcent and i-cent pleces are defaced in the United ates annuaily, and the number of these coins returned to be remelted at the Philadelphia mint in five vears would fill five trains of fifty-six cars each, holding 50,000 pounds to the car Louisville, Ky., paper. Next he was “suping” at night in a stock company for $3 a week while clerking or run ning an elevator in the day. After this he went with a road com pany. Acquaintance with the stage aroused a desire to be a playwright He wrote: two plays, both of which were accepted hy the noted actor, James K. Hackett Production of one of these plays “The Fool and the Girl.” was made, in conjunction with Klaw & Erlanger, in the provinces, but_Griffith. who was trying to shake off the old tradition of acting in favor of more natural methods, found it impossible to have his ideas adopted. He foresaw the failure which followed. Upset, 8o nervous he couldn't eat, he went out to walk one night and ran into a little one-horse motion pic- ture house. Curlosity aroused, ho entered and saw his first screen show. The picture was crude. But Grif. fith saw an opportunity for a_ great art in motion pictuzs *eproduction. “I'm a faflure on \be stage,” he said to himself. “I'll Aec .- 1 can't get into pictures and make rcal stories.” He went to New York and mot a humble job with the Biograph. In due time his opportunity came. Iiis repu- tation rose steadily until the produc- tion of “The Birth of a Nation” placed him permanently as one of the su preme geniuses of the picture art. (CopsTight, 1933,