Evening Star Newspaper, May 28, 1922, Page 66

T was e gay house party at Deene Park, Northamptonshire, the splendid seat of Adelaide, Countess of Cardigan, the widow |. of the hero of Balaclav Some twenty of us were assembled for pheasant shooting, all kindred spirits of both sexes. At Lady Cardi- gan’s parties ane was always assured of a good time. The old lady chose her guests with infinite care, and she loved to see young people having a merry time. The beautiful old place, with its great hall, a replica of Westminster Hall, its oak-paneled room: with long mullioned windows, with armo- rial glass, was a perfect specimen of a noble mansion of the day of King Henry VI, while surrounding it was a great park with a wonderful ave- nue of beeches, and beyond a great estate carefully preserved. , Most of us there assembled were already friends—a few men about town and a few skittish women who moved in rther rapid circles. On that autumn afternoon, soon " after 1 arrived, I was seated beside my hostess taking tea in the great hall and chatting with her, when a slim and unusually good looking Yyoung woman came over the pol- ished floor, and she was -introduced to me as Mrs. Osler. * K ok X N\[Y fellow-guest took a ckair. and =" we began to_chat. It was her first visit to Deene, and she was charmed with the beautiful old place and the picturesque lake before the house. “AR, the old lady in her thin, high-pitched voice. “I wish Raymond thought the same! 1 hear that he told a friend of his at the Bachelor's the other night that when hg succeeds at my death he will let the place to some Lancashire millowner. or to an American. He's far too modern, don’t you think?” We both agreed. Raymond Ruth- erford, the heir of the Cardigan estates, was a bored young man about town, who had no love for the coun- try. He came down to shoot because the old lady wished it. Indeed, he was staying there at that moment, but he spent his time mostly in the old paneled smoking room, and only turned up at the al fresco shooting lunches. “It is a great city. Lady Cargi- gan.” Mrs. Osler declared. “But Ray- mond loves London. He has been to see me several times lately, and I know that country life does mot in- terest him in the least.” “Ah. my dear!" said the old lady with a sigh, as she poured me out another cup of tea. “If he had only taken after Cardigan! It seems a2 shame that he should succeed.” “T don’t want to!" cried a voice cheerily, and from behind the big screen across the door of the great vaulted chamber, with its fine tapes- tries and stands of armor, appeared & tall. well-set-up young man in a smart suit of shooting tweeds and gaiters. “Ah! Raymond! We were talking of you™ piped the wonderful. old lady, who was so young af eighty that she could sing French chan- sonettes and dance spleldidly. “Everybody says it's a shame that Fou are heir to Deene.” “T think 30! t0o.” laughed the young man. as he flung himself wearily into an armchair. “The money, of course, will be useful one day when T marry. But this house—ugh! I always feel that there are spooks about it. Re- member that Don Jamie of Spain saw a ghost in Henry VII's room?” “He declared that he did, and he left next morning,” Lady Cardigan admitted. “But it was one.of you men playing a practical joke." “Not to my knowledge,” Raymond declared. “I was sleeping next door and heard him yell. We all rushed in and found him so frightened that he was on the point of fainting.” He was a Spaniard! remarked pretty Mrs. Osler. “They are, of course, a very superstitious race. How long ago was it?" - “Last autumn,” was Raymond’s re- ply. “T thought I'd told you all about it. First, Don Jamie saw & ghost, and then, when he had got him quiet and asleep again. his brother yelled out that he'd also seen ome!" Oh, it must have been a joke,” Mrs. Osler declared. “I'm honestly certain that wasn't. g was Raymond’s reply. “Yes, but that spirit rapping in the priest'’s hole was the old lady chirped. k “Oh, yes. Tony Wilson did- that,” admitted the heir. “He got into the priest's hole -at ‘the back of the smoking-room fireplace and’ waited there till three “men—strangers to Deene—came in and sat down to have a drink. Then Tony set up a horrible groaning bahind the panel- ing and started to rap out a message from the dead. The three chaps were frightened out of their lives. One of them came and told Davies, the butler, who also came in and heard the rapping. It is a mystery to them all to this day. Davies has never yet discovered that there is & secret en- trance to the priest's hole. . The three guests went away and declared the place to be haunted. “A pretty good joke!" I.lgughed, for 1 knew Tony Wilson well as & practical joker. Indeed, he had been sent down from Oxford for a joke he played in the High. *x % % : FOUND Mrs. Osler an amusing .7 little lady. That night my place at dinner was next her, and we had a long chat. Most of the ladies had been out with the guns at Corby, and the day's sport had been excellent. Presently the old lady, glittering with diamonds at the head of the table, exclaimed. in her loud-pitched voice: “I hope you all enjoyed your stew at lunch.” “Yes. ‘We did very much'indeed,” one man «declared. “It was ‘exce}lent today.” Whereupon every ope looked at the tablecloth and smiled. ‘The stew. at the Deene shootin lunches was well known. For years the old lady had always sent a cart out to the guns with a ‘hot stew, until one day Raymond had con- sulted with Farrer, the agent of the estate, with the result that a sum was somehow “wrangled” sufficient 1o cover & fine champagne luach, ‘which was sent down from London, with waiters to sérve it. So the stew ‘was given away ‘to.people in the vil- lage, and Lady Cardigan was in“com- my dear,"exclaimed it Hunting the Great ] plete ignorance of the sumptuous re- | pasts at various farms during the shooting season. : For a week I had remained ther: and was shooting every day. Some- times Mrs. Osler was out with us, at others she drove out in the car with the lazy Raymond. Each night the [ “BUT SURELY YOU WON'T CREATE A SCANDAL BY TELLING THE POLICE!” SHRIEKED THE OLD LADY. pretty young woman wore as a pendant upon a platinum chain a single but magnificent black pearl of pear shape, with a ring of tiny dia- monds set around the small end. 1 had noticed it on the first night at dinner and I saw that others of the house party had noticed it, too. ©On the seventh evening I had dressed rather early and gone down into the great hall to await. our hostess and the others. I was the first down, when suddenly Mrs. Osler appeared, and I saw she was rather pale. “Oh, do you know, Mr. Le Queux,” she said, “I'm in such trouble! I know what to say—or what to do!” “Trouble!” I echoed. “My black pearl! Neither can Martin, my maid. “Over what?" I can't find it 1t has I cried, again echoing her words quite unconscisusly. “Hush! Somebody Is ng. 1 don’t like to raise an alarm for the old lady's sake. I'll see you alone after dinner. I want you to advise me. Will you?” “Certain 1 said, utterly as- tounded. * k kX INNER commenced, ‘when sudden- 1y the yellow-haired old countess —of course she wore a wig, but I do not write with any disrespect, because she was the most charming old-world dame I have ever met—Ilooked aloffg at.Mrs. Osler, and said: “Dear, you are not wearing your black pearl which we have all ad- mired so much.” My table companion drew a long breath, but instantly recovered her- self. she replied. “My maid put it out, and I really forgot to put it on.” She glancod back meaningly to me, and I saw that her face had changed. I wondered whether it had really been stolen, or merely mislaid. That Mrs. Osler was the young and petted wife of a very wealthy man who was at present in Italy on busi- ness concerning a government loan there, T had been told by Raymond. Yet, she had not breathed a word of her loss to him. Apparently I was the only person she had taken into her confidence. Why? After dinner, while the party was dancing, flirting or playing billiards, I managed to get Ena Osler-into-a large book-lined room at the farther end of the house, in.a wing into which none of us ever penetrated. 1 knew Deene, and I knew of that-room, once the study of the late earl “Well," she said, excitedly, “it was like this: Last night when L'took off my pendant I locked it away in my jewel case, as 1 always do, anda 1 foolishly left the key in a little draw-{ er under the mirror of the dressing table. Martin always has it, but I had sent her to bed and put the key jin the drawer. I thought nothing of it thl just as T bégan to dress. I told Mar- tin where the key was. She opened the case and my pendant. was gone! 1 really don't know what to do. Al- fred, my husband, gave it to me on my wedding day three years ago. It belonged to a Russlan princess, and he bought it from = jeweler in.the Rue de la Paix. If is supposed to be one of the finest black pearls.known.” case had laln all day. The case had not been tampered with, but evidently onened with the key, the pearl ab- stracted, and the key placed back in the drawer. It certainly was a mystery, and 1 advised the pretty little lady to breathe no word, but to awalt events. 1 promised to assist her by keeping a watchful eye over everything. Now, next morning, one of our fel- low guests, a middle-aged man named David Ellerton, a bachelor living in London, received an unexpected tele- gram calling him to his brother, who had been taken ill in- Edinburgh. Everybody sympathized with him, for he was an excellent companion, and about noon he left. Both Mrs. Osler and myself were highly suspicious. Our suspicions were confirmed when just as we had assembled for dinner that night Mrs. Worthington-Pearce, the 'wife of the popular member of parliament, rushed into the hall and, in a’loud voice, cried: “Somebody has stolen ‘my ruby bracelet:” Every ‘e gasped. “Stole.. your bracelet!” cried the old lady frigidly, sitting erect in her thronelike seat” She was dressed in white satin, and held an ancient fan in her thin hand. “Whatever do you mean? My servants are not thieves,” she added with withering sarcasm. “Well, Lady Cardigan, my bracelet has gone. And it's a very valuable one, too.” “And my black pearl has been stolen also!” declared Mrs. Osler in a loud, clear voice, for she was unable any longer to keep her secret. “Thieves about, without a doubt!” a man said. “Thieves!” ejaculated Lady Cardi- gan. “You surely do not think that we are thieves at Deene? “Well,” cried therather coarse wife of the eminent politician, “my brace- let has gone. That's all I know. My Jjewel case has been broken open and it is missing. Have you a telephone here?” ~ " replied the old lady. “Such abominations have never reached Deene. I've forbidden it. People chatter enough over it in London. At least we are quiet here.” “Well, -soffie_one must be sent to inform’ the police. My - bracelet is worth at least £5,000. Henry bought it for me about a year ago when heé was in New York. The stones are some of those sold when old Sultan Abdul Hamid died.” “But surely you won't create a scandal by telling the police? shrieked the old lady. = “I certainly shall. 1 want my bracelet back; and Mrs. Osler is with me on that point, I'm sure,” said the stout, overdressed woman very firmly. & “Yes,” sald Mrs. Osler. “The same thief has no doubt stolen my pendant, and I think, Eady Cardigan, it is only right for you, our hos to allow us to search for the thie “Quite right, Edna" exclaimed Raymond., “Fancy you. losing that ‘beautiful black pearl!™ he drawied. “I wonder who's got it, eh?” _ “We must find out,” said a peppery old colonel, who snarled at every- body and was the bete noir of the party. “It's abominable that ladies’ “The position is extremely awk- ward,” Isald. “If 'you proclaim ‘your | loss you throw suspicion on every- body, as well as the servants.” 2 “That's just it. 1 thought of telling Raymond, but I hesitated to do 80 be- fore I had confided in you. “Are you quite sure it is not mis- 1a)d somewhere im. the room asked. “Quite. Come up to my room and jewelry should be stolen like this in a noblé household B ““Remember,” said another man very ‘seriously, “the only ‘person who | has ‘recently-left the’ house is Eller- ton—who received that'telegram this morning * *xxx - ~|'JJ18 words caused an-instant sense- tion. _But nobody made any with Martin we'll make & complete{ comment. Thers is in English law search.” s * ¥ ¥ % I an hour we all three searched the & clause against slander. Nobody knows that, better than those who ACCEPTED her invitation, and. for | move in the so-called “smart set.” ‘Who was David Ellerton? every one place, being careful that no othef|began to ask.- All that was known servant or visitor had any knowledge [of him w: that he was a bachelor of what we were doing.. The woman jand- lived somewhere off ‘St James Martin was about thirty-five, evident. 1y a maid of the first order. Her mi tress had ordered- her -to -be silent, | acquninted - with - hi; and she had been. A 1 was shown the little drawer where [ good :shot. - Tomof ©000JOW e[dind Y3 Jo £o% oYy street. It was his firat visiti to Deene, but how Lady Cardigan ‘had become | nobody kngw. He ‘wal a cheerful man andi s Very 3 7 went to Edinburgh, and he may be 1 &, hotel there. - 2 : ““Oh he might hav¢ gone to London and pawned the jewels,” Mrs. Osl sald. “That is most lkely. . I can’t think why Scotland Yard could pot have circulated the description at once. Buch red tape, I eall it! Be- sides, what could we hope from the local police?” “True, En repeat that we ought to ton.” “And I agree” Mrs. Osler said. .k x EXT morning I started off to Edin- ‘burgh, where, after a search of 3 couple of days, I found that David Ellerton had had a room at the Royal Hotel for two days, but had left only, a few hours before for London. At once I took the night mail to Euston, and began to inquire in various quar- ters for his place of abode in St. James' street. He was not on the telephone, and at none of the shops in Jermyn street was ‘his name known. For ten days I continued my search, when, at last, I was rewarded. I had inquired of.the hall porter at a block of chamb in Ryder street, when the man said: > “Yes, sir; I'know Mr. David Eller- tén. ‘He had rooms here about a year ago. He now lives in Half Moon " And he told me the num- Raymond assented. nd Eller- A quarter of an hour later T knocked at the door of the house in Half Moon street, and a housekeeper an- swered. “Mr. Ellerton has been away over a month( sir,” was her reply.. “He’ first woman who had been robbed, I said: “I quite agree that we ought to know something more concerning the man Ellerton. circumstance that he left so sud- denly.” There was a chorus of assent to this, it being at once apparent that the old lady was bent upon conceal- ing something. What it was we could not tell. She sat there, pale and agitated. Therefore we changed the subject until it was time to go in for dinner. Later I managed to take Mrs. Osler aside. “Now,” I said, “this 1s a serious matter. I shall go to London in the morning and give Scotland Yard a description of the stolen jewels, which they will circulate. If Eller- ton tries to, dispose of them he'll be caught.” “Yes, but why fs the old lady pro- tecting him?” she asked in dismay. “Did you notice how agitated she be- rame?” _“Ldid. Tt's a mystery.” “Well, it's awfully good of you to 2elp me. I don't know what my hus- >and will say when he knows my black pearl has gone. I dare not write and tell him, as he is always upbraiding me for my carelessness. I ought to have insured it against theft.” Half an hour later I found Mrs. Worthington-Pearce in the smoking room chatting with some of the men before retiring and asked her for a description of her bracelet, which I scribbled down upon a sheet of writ- ing paper, together with her addres: a country house in north Wale: think it you got track of Ellerton in Scotland you would do better than going to Scotland Yard,” she sald. “True, but after all, one of the servaits may be the thief. -Remem- ber, there are several strange ladie maids and valets here: Lady Car- digan cannot be responsible for the honesty of the servants of her guests.” ‘Exactly, but can you tell me why she will hear no word said'against this. man Ellerton? To me it is most peculiar.” * ¥ * % ] AGREED, and by 8 o'clock next morning I was on my way to St. Pancras. 3 At 11 1 was at Scotland Yard, where I gave information of the theft and a full description of the stolen, jew- els. : : ’ The ' detective-inspector, a man T had not before met, for his superior officer happened to be away on léave, looked up from -the pap®r. on -which he had been taking down the de- scriptions and asked: “Have you informed the Northamp- tonshire constabulary?” 1 replied in the negative. “News of the theft should go through thém,” he said. “They will deal with the cas “But Lady Cardigan is much averse to any publicity,” T said. “If I should inform the local police_ the news will spread all over the county in an hour or two, and the local press will full of ft.” < “I know. But I do not think we can take the matter up,.unless we are requested to do s0 by the local police or Northamptonshire. &t .is their duty to circulate the description of the stolen goods, not ours.” No argument would convince him otherwise, 80, my friend being away, I had to return to Deene without car- rying the affair farther. Both Mrs. Osler and Mrs. Worthin, ton-Pearre were highly. indignant when I returned in the evening, and ‘when later.T found our hostess alone and told her what the detective-in- spector ‘had said, the old lady held up her hands fn horror. . “Oh! I1°ceuldn’t dream of it!” ghe cried. . “What? Have Deene overrun by = pack of bucolfc village consta- bl ‘Never!” “But the police will not act, I fear, if we do.not- inform them here.” “Then let the women lose their Jewels,” she snapped. “They should be more careful of:them. 'I'am -of mine.-” I won't" have scandal, and, 'you can tell them so from me.” ' S & my cpnversation to Mra. Onler, who: happensd—to ‘bs ‘chatting with Raymond’out-on thé terrace. . “w1g T were you Td try and'fing that It is a suspicious|" been staying in the country—in Northamptonshire.” Villram Le Queux Story of a Mysterious Crime /| burgh. “Where do you send his letters?” 1 asked. “I don't send any. He told me to Keep them all until he returns. I ex- pected him back long ago. Any mes- sage, sir?” . “No, none. T'll call again when I'm in the neighborhood,” I replied, and then walked down the street full of disap- pointment. 3 I called on Raymond Rutherford at the Bachelor's and told him of my fafl- ure. F “I shall go and see Mrs. Osle: added. “I don’t know how .to act.” “Ena Osler has gone to Paris with her husbind. She went the day before yesterday. But she'll be back on Bat- urday,” replied the bored young man. “She's awfully troubled over the affair. I dined with them both at the Carlton last Wednesday, and though she whis- pered to me about it she dare not tell her husband. He's over in Paris on sorhe financial deal.” * xx x VWE dined together, and during our meal he said: y 1 “Really, my dear fellow, 1 can't un- derstand the old lady’s attitude toward that fellow Ellerton. Where she picked him up ¥ don't know. But she is so old, and so easily led by a plausible tongue and a well cut dress suit. Don't you think that Conduit street is re- sponsible for many of the frauds per- "petrated by the smart crooks, the para- sites of society? Clothés still make the man in th days.” I agreed. “How is the old lady?" . “Oh; all right. She's alone now in peace. ' The party has dissolved. The affair has worried her a lot. She has another big party next month. You'll g0, of course”’ “I don't know, Raymond,” I replied. “But tell me in confidence, what did you think of the old lady’s attitude when the suspicion fell upon Ellerton.” “My dear fellow, I'm as mystified as you are. She seemed to pose as his champlon, though she scarcely knows the fellow. Froin whence he sprang no- body knows. He arrived at Deene—a good shot, it is true, but he was a mys- tery to me.” “And to all of us,” I said. “I'm sorry Mra. Osler is away. I would like to see her, and hear her view: ‘ “Ena’s views! Phew! She's lost her pearl. Well, you should hear her upon thln‘l?m.rfllfl‘bmhpl!flw- lar! It's a most unwholesome business for the old lady in any case. But Ena is furious because she won’t allow the local police to make inquiry.” “Is she protecting the fellow Eller- ton?" I asked. “That's the point. Old ladies are full of funny whims She ‘may be. ' The fellow may have got into her good graces in London, and now she will hear no word against him.” “She's a queer old soul. of course” drawled Baymond.. “She’s outli her day by twenty years. I agree with you, it's » pity Fua is away.” e “What's her husband like?” “Oh, an ordinary looking fellow. He's in finance—carries on an offics in the city—something or other—I've never asked. But he's good fun, and T often dine with them in Kensington, or at the Rits.” L “I hope she'll be back soon.” “When Ena tells me she’ll be back, she'll be back without a doubt,” de- clared the heir to e. “She’s an aw- fully good sport ®nd devoted to her hus- band, She hasn't dared to tell him yet of her loss. He'll be furious’ “And natyrally so. That pearl was a beautiful one” I said. I1 admired it each evening When sl wore it.” “It was her mascot,” he declared. “She's awfully worried over it. Its loss, she .declares, portends ruin to her husband.” “If ‘we could only find-that fellow Ellerton and watch him, we should, no doubt, know the whole truth” I went on. “Shall, we try?” “Try? Of course,” he cried, eagerly. “Well, I don’t see that we cin do very much until Mrs. Osler comes back. She will help us, o doubt. The secret must, of course, be kept from her husband,” I-said. * X % ¥ Pmmlflun. I was not at all pleased with the situation, and next day. I felt an impulse to return to Deene and make & few further in- quiries of Davies, her ladyship's but- ler, who had been in her service for forty years. - On alighting from-the car I hired at the station, I rang the bell and a' footman answered the door. Davies was out, but he would see if her ladyship was at home. 3 1 was an old friend, and I knew that even if she were resting she ‘would be at home to 'me. So I was shown into the smoking room, where, to ‘my amasement, I found stretched in & big/drmchair before ‘the blasing Next however, 1 recovered myself and grasted him. He seemed rather uneasy, I thought He ex- pressed surprise at my sudden ap- pearance. . “I thought you were back in Lon- don!” he said. % & “Yes, I have been, but in the neigh- borhood again, I thought I'd call upon the old lady. Any other guests here?” 'Only the Treetons. They've been here ever since I left to go to Edin- I only came here yesterday to dine and sleep. I'm off again this evening.” “Where?” I asked, eagerly. Lure Social Upstagers. Right Into Your Home Ring Lardner’s Boy Shows How O the edffor: Wile I have not * made no secret of the fact that they's a liberal amt. of children in this family still the reader will half to admit that I been pretty good about not bragging about them, telling thelr bright say- ings and etc. But it sometimes hap- pens that 1 of them will pull a new idear which they thought up all by themaelves and it is generally always “Oh, well, I don't exactly know.!a idear which it would be a benefit T'm expecting & wire.: But these vil- |to mankind in gen. if they knew| Well Mrs. Tucker will say maybe , lage post offices are so slow. Lady Maud and young Bethell are out on the lake fishing.. But I.grew. tired of, it.* It was so terribly cold.” “Is the old lady about?” I asked. “No. She's resting. She won't be down till 5. You-know her habits” he added, with a smile. Almost as he spoke the footman re- entered and sald: “Her ladyship wants to see you, sir. Could you wait till 57 . She says that Lady Maud is out fishing on the lake, and perhaps you'd like to join; them.’ “Thanks,” I said. “Let me know when Davies comes back.” “Very well, sir,” was the man’s re- ply, as he closed the door. So there I found myself face to face with the man I had so persistently hunted down. And now I did not in- tend to lose sight of him again. Lk kR Wn strolled out together along the great terrace overlooking the park, but I made no mention of the thefts. I wondered, whether Lady Cardigan had spoken of it of if Davies had referred to the inci- dents. His manner was not so open as it might have been. I somehow Telt that my presence there was ex- tremely unwelcome. Later, after we had taken tea with our hox Lady Maud and her young cavalier being invited—for they lived about six miles away—I managed to have a confidential chat with Davies. “What brings Mr. Ellerton back here, do you think?” I asked the grave old butler. “You, of course, know the suspicion that fell upon him?" “I do, sir. I'm as much puszled as you are. I can’t think what brin him back,” he replied. “When he ar- rived he had a long chat with her ladyship. It seems as though they are in close association over some- thing.” ‘Have you told him anything of the robbery?” “Not a word, sir’ I was so sur- prised when her ladyship told me that he was coming to dine and sleep that I thought J'd keep a still tongue.” “l1 wonder if Lady Cardigan has told him that we suspect him. 1 hope not.” . “No, sir. Her ladyship told me this morning that it was disgraceful for you all to suspect him, and that she would not insult him by telling him’ of our doubts.” “Excellent. Then it makes our task all the easier " “When you'd gone, sir, Mrs. Worth- ington-Pearce created a scene by roundly abusing her ladyship, snd I ‘was ordered to request her to leave the house. She's an impossible wom- an, sir!” 7 . “She certainly is. But, after all, she lost her rubies—very valuable ones, too—and her ‘ladyship will not thief. I suppose there's no suspicion upon any of the servants’ “None, sir.” “Who is taking Mr. Ellerton’ to the station?” “Forbes, sir.” “Then take Forbes into your con- fidence and ask him to find out to ‘which station he takes his ticket, and let me know at once. I want to fol- low him, but I dare not go by the next train.” “I know where he's going, sir. Only an hour ago he sent Forbes to the post office with a telegram to & Mrs. Stedman in Half Moon street, London, saying he would be home to- night. *x %% 'HAT was enouxh. Once I had him in London it would be easy to keep watch upon his movements. ‘Therefore I bade him farewell before he left, and I also took the train to St. Pancras which followed his \ Next evening Raymond rang me up ‘to say that Mrs. Osler had re- turned alone from Paris, and wanted t0 see me if I would call on her. This I did at about 9 o'clock in the even- ing. I found that she lived in a large, well furnished house in Cromwell road, where she greeted me enthusi- astically, thanked me for all I was doing, and repeated her suspicion of Ellerton: “I'm going on a visit to the Duch- ess of Ranmore at Cathmayne tomor- row morning,” she said. - “I only wish I could remain in town and help you. But I will be back in a few days. Meanwhile do keep watch upon Eller- ton, won't"you? I feel confident that ‘we shall be successful. Oh, if I could only get my pearl back again!” she sighed. It was late before ‘I left, having promised to do my best on her be- hailt. b Some days passed, when I read in my morning paper a fact which caused me to stand aghast. A great robbery of jewelry had taken place at the Duchess of Ran- ore’ it Cathmayne, and one of the guests, & lady named Osler, had been arrested after -leaving the house, some of the stolen jewels being found in her trunk! ey At the trial at the Northumberland assizes jt was discovered that her Sreat black peirl which we had so admired had also been found in her possession, and that.it was a false ‘worth only a few shillings. The woman was wved to be ‘well known jewel thief who was as- sisted by her husband, a receiver of stolen rflflflv. and that l,!“ Paris and besides that, on this particular night you want to stay home and count up your cigarette coupons The Tuckers has got 2 children. They insist on you comeing over. Well you say. sure we will be de- |lighted to come over but the madam has gotsthe whooping cough and per- sonly I been troubled the last 2 or % days with a slight attack of leprosy. 1f you don’t mind that we will be over there in 10 or 15 minutes. “IF MR. BAUER IS RUDE ENOUGH TO REMIND YOU OF THE BEER, TELL HIM THE KIDDIES DRUNK IT ALL UP> about same and in such cases I feel | like it is my duty to make same pub- lic s0 as others can profif by nmo1 as well as myself and children. ‘Well the other day the boys come | home from school and Bill which is € yrs. of age made the announcement that 3 of his friends was comeing over that P. M. to play. “Jack Cummings and Peter Smith and Boody Fowler will be here,” he ! you better not come over because really I don't think you would have a very good time as we ain't settled yet and maybe in a wk. or so our vic- trola will be here and then we can have some dancing. Or suppose you get invited over by the Quayles who you don't want to | see them but they are a bug on keep- ing their house clean so you say yes indeed we want to come if you don't says, “and We are going to have a Jot |mind my husband not changeing his of fun. But I had to do a trick to get | them to come because they didn’t| want to come.” 8o I asked him what was the trick. “Well,” he says, “I told them we had a radio at the house.” So I said that was a fine idear but what would the boys say when they got here and found we didn’t have no more radio than a rabbit. “Well,” he says, “they will be here then.” SO sure enough the three young vis- itors arrived on the seen and Bill had to tell them we didn’t have no radio and one of them says well then let us play ball so they went | ahead and played ball and had a good time and only a few blows struck. Well friends it looks to me like the trick was & stroke of genius on Bill's part and it is a trick which any and all of us can pull off and will go a long ways towards eliminating so- clal barriers and establishing more friendly relations between familys in difterent walks of life. { Like for inst. suppose we have got| a neighbor named Holmes and they are a little bit up stage and donm't want nothing to do with us but wel are crazy to mingle with them. Welll we call them up some night and ask them over to shoot craps or some- thing. So Mrs. Holmes says she is sorry but they can’t come on acct of having arranged to go in town to & show. So then T say I am sorry too be-! cause Geraldine Farrar is going to be | here and she has promised to sing for us. So then Mrs. Holmes says well if You will allow me to change my mind. | why mayba I can get rid of our| theater tickets and we will be over about 14 past 8. So about @ % past 8 a big high power Ford drives up to the door and the Holmes step out and pretty near kiss us. We set them down In the parlor and stall around a wile and ! pretty sooh Mrs. Holmes asks what time is Miss Farrar going to show up. So then I tell her that T am terrible sorry but Miss Farrar phone about 20 minutes ago to say thatshe was have- | ng a operation for mastoids lnd{ would be 12id up for maybe 3 mos. ! * ok ok ¥ i Y this time it is too late for the( Holmes to go somewhere else and you get them in a game of craps or pinochle and treat them friendly and maybe tell them a couple stories and they make up their mind that you ain’t so bad after all and maybe the mext time they will come over without no decoy. Or say that they's a family named Bauer that has got the entry to Great Neck society but they been acting like you 'was the pest house and some night you call them up and ‘say you wished they would come over as you have just fecd. & couple bbls. of § per cent beer. 8o they come ovel and you leave | them setting around for 2 or 3 hrs.i nurseing their first and then you ask | them would they like & drink and, they say yes and by that time they : are so dry that they will be tickled | to death when you slip them a pitcher of ice water. If Mr. Bauer is rude enough to re-| mind you of the beer you can tell him that the kiddies broke in the ice box and drunk It all up but you are ex- pecting another couple bbls. in a wk.: In this way you can have the Bauers at your home once a wk. frothing at the mouth wile the: rumor spreads ‘been took up by the Bauers. ° around Great Neck that you have * x % % 'Bw'rme pretty part of my kid's ! ¢rick is that it works both ways. Like for inst. suppose you are called ¢ nothing on’ Long 1sland-and you * * * % “Haon't want nothing to do with them shoes which he is too tired because he has been out in the bay all day digging clams. That is how the trick works and vice versa and my readers is at lib- erty to use it any way they feel like but if anybody gets sore why remem4 ber it is my kid's idea not mine. RING W. LARDNER Great Neck. Long Island, May 25 Bootleg Tricks. (Continued from Third Page ) , “It's a wonderful life. Tou're out in all kinds of weather. Half of the time you don’t get any sleep. You run the risk of getting shot about twenty-four hours out of each day and there is always somebody with ‘a pull’ trying to get you, while your work is never done. “'Tis a jovous existence—not. I wonder if you have ever stopped to think what has caused the great in- crease in the sale of these big cans, known in the Army as G-I cans, and other smaller galvanized iron re- ceptacles. Well, I'll tell you if you don't know. There are literally ousands of them being used by in- dividuals for the making of wines. liquors, etc., and if .each bottle of home brew was a gun, the United States would be better armed than all the rest of the world put together. T would really like to know just what the increase has been in the yeast production since the Volstead act w: passed. “In olden times, when the women folks used to talk over the back fence, they discussed their neighbors’ clothes, operations or something of that character.. Nowadays many of them discuss the latest wrinkle in the making of home brew or how many raisins it takes to make this or that kind of wine. Where recipes for cakes used to be largely sought after, now booze recipes are much desired by many. Being on the trail of the bootlegger is a hard, nerve- racking job and if there is any pleas ure connected with the job I have yet to discover it. If there is any pleas- ure connected with the job and | should, by chaace, discover it, T am certain it will be less tham one-half of 1 per cent” The Restless Oceans. what extent did the great ocean currents influence the migration of mankind from continent to conti- nent in prehistoric times? The fact that a current starting near fhe Malay peninsula, and passing the seas of China and Japan. crosses the Pa-1} cific to the western coast of the United States is regarded by some as significant concerning the Do-ei- bility _of Asiatics having reached America by way of the Pacific ocean Other vast movements of the waters of the sea, to which attention has been called in connection With this subject—one that has received much study at the hands of the ethnolo- gists—are the south Pacific current, which flows from South America toward the Polynesian Islands; the middle Atlantic current, which, start- ing near Spain and the northern coast of Africa, reaches South America and the West Indies, and the North At- lantic current, which sweeps along | our eastern seaboard and then crossas over to the coasts of Europe. — The responsiveness of the physical organism to changes of color is & Dbelief that is reflected in the customs of many peoples. From the earliest times it has been the practice of the Chinese to clothe victims of small in carmine. In Tonkin children with measles are pain red, while in Spain the traditional prescription for same malady is & red shirt and red ayrup. .