Evening Star Newspaper, May 21, 1922, Page 64

HE letter was well typed, ¥ crisply phrased, businesslike, impersonal—all buf the poste script: and the coatract {s thor oughly satisfactory. 1 shall arrive Fridey the eighth, and. it convenient should like to confer’ with you Sat- ., urdsy. T shall then be ready to §o to work in earnest Monday moraing. “Thanking you for your courtesy and promptness, 1 am— i “Sincerely yours, “S. A. MEADE. “p, S—It is only fair to tell you that I am a woman. If you den't ‘want me on that account please wire me right away. “Youra truly, “SUSAN ALICE MEADE." “Well, T'll be hanged!” Mr.' Miles Willapd, president of the Maple Leaf Jce Cream Company, looked over at Mr. Dan Mahoney, manager of the Maple Leat plant. “Would you ever have thought that that young Chi- cago fellow who wrote those ‘Don't keep a race horse on & pack mule's job' ads, and the ‘Well, why. not smoke tobacco for a change? was a Susan Alice?” “Susan Alice!” Dan turned to re- + gard his employer with open-mouthed amazement, “I'd 'a’ bet @ dollar his first name was Sam. And we've hired a Susan Alice for an advertising man! Susan Alice!” He sat for some mo- ments stunned to silence. "“Well, I'll bet you two bits,” he finally offered, “that she’s more Susan than Alice, 1 had an oild mald Aunt Susan once.” This last feelingly. When Miss Meade arrived at the one-sterled red-brick Maple Leaf plant on Saturday, however, she proved her right to both her names. She was Susan In the slim straight- ness of her dark suit, the amart plainness of her -hat. (ghich had doubtless cost five timen much as a mere man would haw ssed), in the businesslike directness of her approach. * %k %k BU’P under the smart plain hat her hair was soft and wavy; and un- der her businesslike phrases her voice trembled a little. Excitement sent & sudden Bot,’ unbusinesslike wave of color sweeping down to the severe plainness of her. ¢ollar. Oh, Susan had' done her, clever, professional best, but Tn 'spite of her efforts, some- thing " still remained unquenchably Alice. It was-Susan who umred Mr. Ma- honey, impersonally, pleasantly, that anywhere he could find room for a desk for her was quite satisfactory. It was Susan, also, who listened with alert, Intelligent respect to Mr. Miles Willard while he explained that the Maple Leat Company was an infant concern, that the lce cream could not be placed on the market for two months yet, although, of course, the advertisting was to be begun at once, that the huge Wiley Ice Cream Com- pany would be their only competitor, and that, beyond her year's contraat, he could promise her nothing; her fu- ture would depend upon the future of Maple Leaf Ice Cream. It was Alice who fell in love with Mr, Miles Willard while he was still explaining the ytate ice cream laws, long “before hé& had reached the re- quirements as tor the percentage of butter-fat. She. would not have ad- mitted this to herself, of course. “The Wiley plant is just over the state line,” Willard. said, “and the law there lets them get away with only 5 per cent. Then they run their 5-per cent ice cream in here and sell it, though any manufactured in this state has to have 8 per cent. We're going to have 10 or 12. I've had the thing looked up to the last fractlon * of & cent, and we can afford to do it and still sell at the same price as ‘Wiley’s. They must be making tre- mendous profits.” “Quality will have to be the adver- tising angle,” decided Susan. “I wonder it he's married,” thought Alfce. . * * % % BUT Miss Susan Meade, work next Monday mornin, as plessantly crisp-and busi as the white ligen collar her well taflored tricotine dress. Dan Mahoney, whose desk in the large, bare office room was ‘only six feet from hers, liked her at once, and chuckled when he saw how the new Mapls Leaf salesman—a fresh -young man with a ‘vaudeville quotation wit—in' his proper niche. But when Donaldson, this same salesman, suggested to Willard that the brick ice cream be made not In the customary layers, but with a , maple leaf ‘of the contrasting flavor running through the brick and show- ing on each slice, Susan was his most enthusiastic supporter. “If the molds don't make the proc- ess ‘too expensive,” she urged, “It would be wonderful advertising. ‘Think of it, your trade mark on every % plece that is served!" ‘Fhe idea became a Maple Leaf Com- “pany fact. - Susan selected the design to be used for tife counter advertisements, “‘chose the lettering for the street|. : signs, wrote the copy for the adver- * tisements, which began appearing in *" the newspapers. : “It's like the orchestra playing be- fore the curtain goes up, isn't 17" < mhe observed to Willard. “We've got : go’get the audience all excited about Son the stage &t all.” - OceasionsHy Susan ‘and m Ppresi- i @ent-were left alone jn the -bare office. \3The stenographer was -stil needed <" omly morning, and Dap, of course, spent & good deal of time in the plant - proper, oversee! the placing of the “-ten-gallon freexers, inspecting each new arrival of containers. Donaldson : was out most of.the.time, and the * bookkeeper;: Whose work: was ' light, went home of an afternocon. ‘It was on these occasions that Susan ‘< 'had the hapdest time keeping Alice ‘properly subdued, for the converss- ittls into more per- “*Maple Leaf:ice cream befare It comes |, the Wiley company for three yu.n. learned the business from every side, They never had one bit of real com- petition in the city at all. And’the Wileys don't make good foa cream. The first time I tasted their stuff I | knew there was a market for some good brand. I used to drive the truck around some of those hot days and try to figure out how I could get hold |tell you anything. of money enough to try it, énd when| This was not the rmly. Ledder ex~ I was in a new town I'd know all|pected. He was & powerful man— about the ice cream company that|Wiley's brother-in-law—he was a tre- covered the place, sven if I dldn't [mendously sought-after bachelor, and uge the town hall” Ke was rich by his own efforts, while L he was still young, : AND on another day, when & chill Ant-when, sfter mogsing fto epiak spring rain beat agatnst the wip- |t° the club president, who had paussd dow panes and Willard set the little |Pehind his chair, he turned back to electric stove to glowing cheerily n (Susen Allce, he was met by the curve the gray offi the conversation be- gan with advertiaing, the president looking over Nome of {Susan’ Alice's new copy. : “A woman of the world is an epicure,” he read. “Her tal witni to the more delicate dts crimination which comes with wide social experience and poise; her cook must understand the piquancies of coriander, chervil, rose geranlum leaves; her steaks mugt be brolled over live coals, her salads dressed with imported oils, her ices rich in quality, exquisite in flavor.” “The only sign of an advertl ment,” Susan Alloe\ explained, “will be below, in very dignified type, ‘Ma- ple Leat Creams, Ices, Parfaits, Mouases, May be Ordered Through Your Caterer or Direct from Us, Telephone West 4287 That won't appear until the ice cream is ready on the market,” the girl explained. “Yes, but fen't this appealing to a pretty limited class? We can't stick to the families that have cooks and catorers, you know, and make any money out of the ice cream.” Susan laughed . “Of course nmot! This ain't almed at the women who keep cooks, but at the women who 'hope to some time— and that's pretty nearly all women. of the world'—every wo- to think ghe's that" face lighted In under- commanded with & mh\l&v M m half flattering, half’ amused’ mlflll- cersion: “Now tell me all, 3 Susan Alice smiled up '3t lnflf her violet hat with § decided dash of 0001 amsurance. “Indeed, T flnll". tell iml tll " she said. “I'm not at all muzul shall Was & smart French caterer just m s‘l«c shop. They knew that Wiley's had been hard after his account. “Miss Moade," sal Wllllrd. mm- 1y, “You don’t méan just De Pre?" tween thumb and finger. “WelL" he sald, “that's Willara!" * kK ¥ 7 Hl tossed the broken bits inte & ‘brocaded wastebasket and leaned back In his chair, his arms folded, “Here we -n.” she thought, bitterly, “Production snd Advertising, tha little brothers of Business. Business is cap- ital. My, Willard is out now after capi- “No—Maple Leat. We'va put it over, | and looked questioningly at Susanital; and he won't get it—not enough. Defors a quart has appeared on mar- | Alice, ~Although Susan returned his|Ledder knew last night that he ' | look calmiy, for the moment she Was |couldn't. or he wouldn't have told me rllht ‘now to swing the thing through | not seeing him. She was looking ‘what Wiley's were going to do.” the first summer, granted just aver-|across & ittle table at Willard, exult. | " 'Willar@ eame in at noon looking age hot weather. If we don't get an- | gnt, boyish, drinking her health in|drawn and worried. -He and Mahoney other one from mow till October wo | black coffee—Willard, who was to be |had a long talk in which there was can make {t. We'll get through the|snapped like a matéh in the big fine |much shaking of heads. Willard dic- winter all right without & qustion.|gers of power. She did not speaX, |tated two letters to the stenographer. That {s the harvest time for quality | and after se minutes Ledder| “I.may be late this aftermoon.” he ice cream. Wiley's stuff doesn’t go|sald: told her, “but I'll be in to sign them. i “Well?" - Just leave them on my desk.” . Susan Alice rose, abruptly ending| And just as Susan came in from the interview, Tuncheon he was off again. “ syppose you meant to be kind| At § o'clock promptly the bookkeeper standing. “You're really appealing to her vanity, then. “Of course! She may not know cor- iander from cornucopla, and her hus- band may like his steak fried—but she's going to get the impression that Maple Leaf lce cream is pretty class; Willard read the copy through again, carefully, slowly. “What's chervil?” he asked at last. “Blessed if I aver tasted of it.” “IT WAS SUSAN WHO ASSURED MR. MURPHY THAT ANYWHERE HE COULD FIND ROOM FOR A DESK FOR HER ‘WAS QUITE lAmAmI-Y- “IT WAS ALICE WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH MR. MILES WILLARD WHILE HE WAS STILL EXPLAINING PHE STATE ICE CREAM LAWS” 7 of her slim sand-colored shoulder, the three-quarter back of her little violet hat. ' She was talking to Carlyle, on her other mide. Ledder leaned across and tapped Carlyle on the shoulder. “Now, look here, son,” he observed with jovial insolence, “you just pey attention to your soup like a good little man. I'm going to talk to Miss Meade.' Ledder, as & big advertiser, was in a position to speak this way to Carlyle, and he knew it. But he had reckoned without Susan. “Oh, no, you're ‘not,” ‘she said good naturedly, “not till Mr. Carlyle and 1 have finished off this burning sub- ject.” She glanged down at the steaming cup before Ledder. “Fow have some soup of your own,” she re- minded bim. By the time Susan Alice turned back to Ledder their relationship Rad been definitely established. He was the one who was being favored; so long as he interested her and amused her he would be permitted to talk to her. After that—poufr! And pertly because and stenographer cleared their desks and left. Donaldson blew ‘in for a breezy moment, then out again to cateh the lake car. Dan had an appointment with his wife, and after waiting un- easily for ten minutes, scribbled a note which he left on Willard’s desk and took a hurried departure. One of the’ trucks was still out; Susan was alone in the red brick bullding. She knew with an uncanny feminife instinot that Willard would come badk-Blisten. And she did not wish him to core back alone to a deserted building. And then, suddenly, coming as amas- ingly as a miracle, she saw-a way out. She sat staring at the faded Nya- cinth, her lips parted, her arms Ung to the very fingertips with ment. For a brief instant she 7 Willard entirely {n the thrill of it. The idea was so simple that she wo! dered she had not thought of it before, wondered that Willard had not thought of it, or Ledder himself, Willard, of colrse, might not approve. But ghe womanly | would be ready in case he did. With a -|nervous glance at her desk clock, ! in making me your offer, so I thank you. But I don't care to consider it-" Lbdder rose, too. He was not ac- customed to being dismissed. “You don't realise what you're do- ing,” he said. Susan smiled, a deflant little amile. “You have made it very clear to me just what I am doing, Mr. Led- der,” she said. “I've never been much of a fighter, but when I do get into a fight I like to finish on the same side 1 start. Good night.” ‘When Susan reached the red-brick building at half past 8 the next morning something had gone wrong with one of the motor trucks, and the president of the Maple Leaf Company, whistling,-In his shirt sleeves, was ex- perimenting with it himself. He waved a monkey wrench st Susan and raised a jovial face, streaked cross one cheek with ofl and xflmo. Willard’s very smile twisted at her heart; she could have run scr the worth two bits then. If they weren't linked up with the Dalton creameries they'd shut down in the winter altos gether and make candy.” He rose In his excitement. “We'vé done it!” he repeated. “If we can just hang on to all the cus- tomers we've got now we don't need to worry if we don't get a new one ® * ¢ I say, let's go somewhere to- gether for dinner and celebrate! Come on, let's! Will you?" And Susan Alice, the young woman who never mixed her sogial and busi- ness life, wan: she . explained. “Blessed if I ever tasted it, either. ‘Of course,”—she turned earnest again—“I'm not keeping to thlt kind of advertisement alo: one I'm golng to run in the lnndsy Jour- nal. They are going to have nearly & page on the pure food commission, and this will be on that page. It's headed: *‘Are You a Real Judge of Food? “It goes on: “‘Can you tell by the taste of ice- cream, for Instancs, whether the sweetening s sugar or glucose? Can * ¥ ¥ SUBAN ALICE reached her boarding house s little after 8, to find a telephone message. She was to call South 5297 if she came in before 8:30, Puzzled, she called the number. A erisp, feminine voice answered: “Just a moment, Miss Meade. Mr. Ledder would like to speak to you. “I want to stop sround this evening for a few minutes and talk to you™ same his big, assured voice over the wire. “This is pure business." you be sure whether the flavoring is made from fresh fruits or from some chemical imitation? “‘If you are & real connoisseur, truck room and put her arms about him in & vain, shielding, wa; Instead she sald only: you will appreci the new Maple “Very well,” sald Susan. “I'll be o At (swe s o | salaphonell the Journsl. /Cartyle, Susan was young and pretty, but even = soon a8 yo yle, for- Leaf ice cream. If you are ao" its more because the ssituation was so glad to see yo! may I speak to you?|tunately, was still there, trade-mark is your protection.’ Once Ledder arrived he went im- |y 13 something rather important.” s there still time,” she asked eager- piquantly unusual, Ledder accepted it, even' felt actually.fiattered when Susan allowed him to drive her back to the Maple Leaf plant !n his low- slung, forelgn-built roadster. He ask- ed with what was really humility for Frederick Ledder: “And when do I see you again?” t the next Advertlslng Club lunckeon, i you go. Mr. Cariyle has asked me. ‘Good heavens, that’s three months away!" “Three months,” said Susen, “i yery short time when you're bus: “But I want to see you again long before that Why can't you have din- ner with me some night this week— snywhere you say—and then go to a theater?" Susan shook her Wead “I've made it a flat rule,” she spid, “never to mix up business ang soplal life.” “Oh, come now. That rule is as out-of-date as hoopskirts.” ‘Maybe,” sald Susan eflmly, ‘“but it's my rule, just the same.” But after 3 moment she turned with the friendliest smile in the world. ‘You know yourself 1t wouldn't do. I'm working for & rival concern of yours. You can see how it would look if 1 were to be meen about with the advertising manager of the Wiley Toe.Cream Company.” This floored him for a moment only. “But you sald”— trlumphantly — “that you never mixed business.and wocial life, Now you're refusing a wnly social invitation on purely busfness grounds.” .Busan smlled “You'rg too cle r for me to argue with, . Mr, Ledder.” she said frankly. “But 1 know what B must and mustn’t - After ‘snother silence, Willard aud | 3% Tbank. you for sakipg me—but Susan % I can't go.” Susan held out a friend- ‘_wmlhwkmmabum x lrmdl"xt'q-nluol:nuwbrln . ‘ought to have a good chance me } %. Good-bye.” % Manly Toacs J» cbserved. “And with @, smiling. nod she disap: ly, “to add a line to our big advertise- ment?” There was 2 little pause while Car- i71e called the composing room. Then: “Plenty,” he assured her, “if you can get it In first thing in the morning. I suppose, you want the same type?! “Just the same,” Susan assured him. “And if we want to run it I'll have it ready before eighty-thirty tomorrow.” * % ® h\ THEN she called the other two newspaper offices. She had just hung up the recelver after having re- ceived the third’s assurance, when Wil- lard came in. One glance at his face was enough to tell her the truth, “Well, I'm licked," he said grimly. “I can get a few thousand—not enough to be & drop in the bucket for a long fight. There's no use going to Uncle Miles—that was our agreement: I wasn't to ask for an extra penny, and he's & man who sticks by agteements to the letter. He picked up the notes Mahgney had left on his desk, studled them for a few moments. “We can meet the first cut,” he sald, ‘and that's all.” “He sat down at his desk, staring dully before him. He glanced up sharply as Susan spoke. “T've thought of something.,” she sald. “If there isn't any other way out, it might be worth trying.’ ""What 1s it?" “It's just this: Don't let's try to purpose of his visit. he sald, “we want you in the Wiley company. I don't know what the Maple Leat {8 paying you, but we'll double it. Susan was quite as prompt, quite direct. ocouldn’t, Mr. Ledder,” she sald. ‘Even If I wished to Teave Mapl# Leat I am under contract for a year.” Ledder smiled as a man smiles at a pretty, amusing' child. He drew a card from his pocket, scribbled some- thing on the back and luudcd 1t to Susan. “Here is the address of Mr. Miller, our attorney. You take your contract down to him tomorrow—tell his girl I sent you, and he'll see you any time. If he can't find five ways for you to break ‘that contract inside of five minutes he's no attorney of mine.” ut T don't want to break my con- tract,” sald Susan. “I foel the keen- est loyalty to Maple Leat——" Ledder leaned back comfortably'in his chair. i “You have & chance to he outlined, “at double the’ salary they're paying you. Can you be sure The truck's engines began to throb evenly, and wiping his hands on a plece of waste, Willard followed Susan into the office. All the, gay: had left the man's face long before she had finished. He nodded once or twice. “So that's their game. That's why they have been keeping so quiet They've simply been walting to & whether we were golng to be wor their while to crush. I suppose it's a sort of compliment that they consider us worth it.” He laughed grimly. “They consider us worth it,” sald Susan. “Mr. Ledder practically ad- mitted that, byt for this price-cut- ting, nothing could stop us.” “I'm a fool,” said Willard, “not to have foreseen this Evan Uncle Miles didn’t, though—that's a minor con- solation; hi a alick old business man himself, and I've checked uy every point as it came Alon: with. bim.” He sat staring at the edge of Su- san’s desk in silence. Finally he ros: washed off the grime and donned hia coat. ; “If any one needs me,” he tcld the stenographer, “I'll be back by noon, I'm going to how . much more money I can ralse.” - At the door he met Dan Mahonpy, Just coming in: “Dan,” he sald,, “will you go through the plant this morning with ® fine-tooth comb and see Where any possible cutsin expense can be made, - a 207 doubling, anything that weould | 1ave cut heois Toet sron onse. ALl possibly do for a while on & pinch?” |} g 2 the response we've had so far has "Sure;” :2ald the surprised Dan. béen to just one type of advertising— " R R the quality angle. If that advertising’ 4 Bas, been done well enough, if the €0 Willard went °“:' attor capital.| oomen have been really convinced 4nd Dan nto the frester FO0m so|that Maple Leat is the best ics cream @ik %D D) .rcdue‘:n.“m WCUOR | magde, the kind of women who would and capiial at work, adverlising Walt”| hay it aren't going to be stopped by Jiy cAaSnian ant dows ¥ daTke |3 gierence of 20 cents a gallon, | wood desk it seemed suddenly..ss| ot though she were linked with the 5 E whole tomintne elant on lite—waiting Cl?::h’l.:: u’;‘"""" FRpae. e for- m¢ o s e dealers will carry any lce ‘While she waited:she glanced dly ; = over. the proofs that lay on her desk, oream’ there is & big enough demand | tull-page advertisements that’ ware|: for. We can't beat Wiiey's game, to appesr in day after tomorrow's .:’."" SISO V- the oatns. way—~ newspapers. There was the one-she try playing it just the opposite. and Willard hed lsughed ‘We are lucky enough to know shead proudly only yesterday morning: what they're golhg to do. This first “Your eilver bridge-prise will.bear price cut takes placé the very day the ‘sterling’ mark, of course. Maple Leaf comes out—let's make a e B R would begin slowly iy o0 +|. Then um was the m: ln m Dally Gasette, the newspapsr which ‘Willard nodded in approval. “Sounds good to me,” he continued. LR Au Susan replaced the top sheets on her plle of manuscript he watched her curiously. “How did you happen to take up advertising?” he asked. “I started out by furnishing ‘the feminine glant,’” she sald. “I had a suitor who was an advertising man, and he was always asking my opina- fon on this or that, He sald that wo- men bought nine-tenths of every- thing sold, either divectly or indi- rectly, and so he wanted to get the fominine slant on ail his advertis- Ing.” = “So you decided,” Willsrd con- cludes, “to be the feminine slant in- stead of just furnishing it = Susan nodded. “He was rully a very sthart man; yet I realised how little he. undegstood of how a Wo- man's mind worked. 'And I got-to thinking that a woman writing ad- vertising would have a tremendous advantage in that sort of work. 8o I decided to try it.” She went on with a hllf-tlmld 'm sure that more women .than men decide what kind of loe cream is bought—even If & man is’ taking a #irl into & drug store for & sundae, he takes her to whichever drug -store she 1jkes best. .And the man drugmist or confectioner {s influenced by that.” There was & little silence:then In the office. Then Willard asked: - - “And what happened to the suitor? Is he still sgit-thg? “Oh, no.. 1 trust he suits.his wife now-~he's been married these many moons.” Cream Company”—he ~ psused ‘ Im- pressively—"“may mnot last 'through the summer.” s “Just what,”” Suan‘asked, “is going to happen to the Maple Leat Ledder hesitated a foment lnd then sald: “The day that Maple Leaf ice cream appears on the market—day after to- morrow—every dealer In the city and surrounding towns ‘wiil- notifled that Wiley 1ce cream is 30 cents a gallon. Séme of your customers may last in' spite of that, or Maple Leaf may be able to cut its price 30 cents, too, though the shoe . will pinch—ita manufacturing cost will bo higher than ours. Suppose they , make the cut, though. Viry shortly there will be another. Wijey's will begin’ oftering their dealers surpristng dis- large commissions, How much af 'this can Maple Leaf meet?. Wiley'| could sell at a loss for a yea necessary!” ‘There was a “briet Mhu,. part ot Susan Alice that was 4 h IJW -n l\nh on the ‘strest the next Saturday afternoon. eaught & glimpse of & tiny violet-cov- ered- blocks for the reward of a pleasant, impersonal smile and nod, It was two weeks before he saw Ier again, for just & mioment fn a. m,uter lom combinstion.” “Oh, it surely does!” gaid Susan. “My, if we can just put it over!” “We've got to!" Willanl repeated. - 8he passed mcross the three adver- tisaments. Across the bottom of the | first_ghe had written in large, bold letters yma, almost insolent de- llnmon ..u a woman every time—to be exclusive at a price she can afford. “Td put it difterently in the difter- ent advertisements, of course. Under tie ‘sweetheart test. who always buys'a girl the best—and doesn’t care what it c one way or another we'd play up the price everywhere—make it a talking point instead of something to be hid- den and explained away. Oh, don't you belfeve it might ‘work?' Susan Alice’s eyes were starry with eager- | ward Willard. sneak under Wiley's; lef up to the guna. Let Wi Willard stood up, his dwsn eyes afire, tea. “Susan Alice,” he sald with a sol- emnity both a prayer and a promise, “I'll gsamble Maple Leaf on the femimue slant. Let Wl‘l". c:t!'.’ A fight to one cut. During the month this was in force the mew competitor lost two orders to five it gatned. After the thirty days Wiley's went back to its erigina) price, & tangib. O the editor: I been noticing in the papers lately that the fight next and who would have- the beat chance vs. him and etc. and one | paper here In the east has went so far as to start & voting contest amongst the fans to See who they think §a the logical candidate and personaily if I was asked to vote on th: wile before makeing any reply on mcct. of the laws in this country in regards to murder. In order to get sonvicted of murder “| you don’t nalt to be the one that does the actual killing but they can send you .to the chair or the gallows or what npt for just suggesting who it 13° you wapt murdered to the guy that {s to carry out the program. That is why I don't dagt come out and name who I would llke to ‘ses as Pempuey's-next oppt. though I can think of several pecpls who I would like nothing better thap see them climb in to the ring with the guy who T have nicknamed the champ. amongst .those that wagered their | patrimony on Jessie, Willard to kill this guy the time they met down to Toledo ‘and the reason for same was 3 fold namely that I hadn't never ‘ween this Dempsey. fight and secondly Pbad, but you can’t,fool All the people all: the time me aclusive and after I seen Jessie M“ for the 1st. time why I said to myself this is the last bet I ever make vs. guy even If his oDDl fleet. So when they saionse him up with Geos. in the well known battle of the century I read what all the gal re- porters sald about the greek god and how a man as handsomé as Geos. couldn’t poney in golf balls and w arena in the 30 acres of Boyle's pray- ing that Jack woyldn't do nothing fatal to him so as to interfere with the cordial relations between country and la belle TOW then Mr. Dempsey goes to Eu- keep on talking about who shall he fight next and I read the boys care- fully and it comes to me all of a sudden that if the world demands a fight, why they's only one way to arrange it and that is under a handi- cap system and a specially after I read that Carpentier says he would like to try it agaln under different conditions, namely he would like to have a 24 ft. ring and 8 ox. gloves and. & fair referee. Geos. evidently thinks that if they had been & fair referee at Jersey City, he hit Jack on the chin in the 2d rd. Jack would of fell over. “THE CABBAGES SHOULD OUGHT TO BE BJ6 ENOUGH TO ‘HIDE BEHIND.” eree ought to of nluM a bbl or something behind Jack's ‘Well about Carpentier's new l.-nnu. why he said he would fight him on & dall 2 Kilbourn retreat. e Leat promptly raised 1ts price. * They had begun using the slogan “The More Expensive Cream.” “4nd we've got to live up to our boast,” Willard told SBusan, “even if it does burden ue with outrageous profita.” It was at a luncheon of the Adver- tising Club In July, after a Fourth whoae sheer volume of business had all but swamped the new company, that Susan saw Led again. “Well, ¥ see you people have put it across after all” he said genially. Susan smiled her friendliest smile. “After all,” she said, “there's room in a city this eize for both of us, isn't there? “It loaks,” sald the great Frederick) Ledder, “as though from now on there might have to be™ And as they were finishing Chelr dessert: s “Well, if you should ever change/ your mind spout staying with Wil- lard" Ledder observed, “come and eee me. The Wiley offer holds good.” “Thank you, but there isn't a chance I've already agreed to & permanent copnection with—the Maple Leaf,” said Susan Alice—beth of her. (Copyright, 1922.) ' 1 say ‘A man But In she leaned scross her desk to- “Don’t let's try to which made the profamity S a matter of fact, the Wiley lce Cream Company limited its . definite Guns, Razors, Chloroform . Vs. Dempsey. —Ring Lardner Talks Handicaps AYING Geon. to one side we will pretend lke It was a handicap match between Dempsey and Beckett Wel], I would suggest that Befors the match starts each man be setting in his corner, but when the gong rings it deyelops that Beckett is [free wile Jatk, is strapped to his corner and slightly under the influ- ence of chloreform. Dempsey Vs, ~Greb.—This bout should be a 2 rd. bout and not fought in no Fing at all but in the boys s all stirred up wonder- “ing who is Dempsey going to subject I would hesitate & long X % OW- bafare we go any further I may as well exclaim that I was t Nr. Willard told yme personly t-he was too big ‘for Dempsey anybody else to lick. So far 50 this Dempsey is the grand| “THIS BOUT SHOULD BE FOUGHT . IN THE STRAIGHTAWAY AND GIVE GREB A ONE-HALF-MILE START." straight away and give Greb a i mile start. Dempsey ys. Bremnan—Chloroform the audience. Dempsey vs, Fulton—Fifteen falls or no cbunt. Dempsey vs. Gene Tunney—Family keep Tunney out of the ring. Dempaey va. any one of the 4 or § Australian champions—Keep the last named in Australia Dempsey vs. Miske — Dempsey wears 5 oz gloves. Miske wears double bbl. shot gun and stays out of ring. Dempsey va. Wills—~Dempsey has two gloves. Wills has same plus 2 accomplices with & rasor. That is the way T would handicap Jack's oppts.’ but if you acked me who I thought would be his next oppt. I would say I have ;o idear only that Ican tell you who it won't be and that is yrs. sincerely, RING W. LARDNER, Great Neck, Long Island, May 19. Catching Turtles ¢ For Soup and Shell REEN sea turties, the raw mate- rial for turtle soup and tortoise- shell eyeglasses, are caught in the Gulf of Lower Californla, 'theré they abound, by stretching strong rope nets of nineteen-inch mesh across the mouths of small lagoons just’ as the tide starts to go out. “The turtlés drift In with the tide, and as it ebba-they are entangled in the nets, says'the Popular Science Monthly. ~ From the nets small fishing vessels carry them to u larger, speciaily con- structed vessel lying farther out at sea, where the turtles are placed on their backs on racks, to lie helpless until they reach the cannery. Here they are placed in shallow pens that keep them fresh until needed. One of the principal canneries slaughters about two tons every day The size and weight of the turtles ar a0 great that overhead conveyors, in- | clined runways, and aimilar equigment are necessary for nnm.n; the car- casses. Turtles are extremely difficult 1o kill, not so much because of their pro- | tective shell as because of thelir ex- treme tenscity of life. Incidents have been reported where a turtle’s head that had been severed from the body for mnearly twelve hours clomed its jaws upon 8 man's hand. The expia- nation is thought to be that prac- Yicall§ all the turtie's movements are wo-called “reflex actions,” in which no higher nerve centers are inrolved..In consequence, individual muacles gome- times continue.to function long after lite “»u-muuuan in the body but I Invested my to the loose, ' this ance. * ¥ k% rope a little wile ago and they why' when The ref- any way when. Jack, read rm. floor or in & cabbage patch with ;~ saveral lng':u ‘Willard -- ked n] in surpriss:at the heughty challenge. any sise gloves aad Geos. could name his own referee, liquids. * Its density s one-fourteentn that of water, and, curfously enougn. this happens to be the same ‘rdtio of deisity that hydrogestin the'gas ocus tate”bears to alF. Mm: