Evening Star Newspaper, July 24, 1921, Page 49

® gidn't show a moment's hesitation.” - N 'GREAT GRIEF! You have heard of Orestes. He is one of the big characters of mod:n! fiction, His latest experience piles one laugh upon another. AS that Orestes come yet? 'y demanded Mr. Holmes, manager of the Leaf a Motor Car Compony, as he DPaused, one foot on the curb and the other on the running board, prepar- atory to his Saturday afternoon at golt. His shop foreman replied: “Yes, sir. | just got in! I'm going now to peel him ‘Take off a few inches of epidermis for me, will you?" He lighted his cigar. Then from the vantage of the driver's seat he added: “Get's more trifling every day! I'll swear to—" He looked at his watch, observed that he was already late and started the car with a lunge, leaving the god of his profanity unmentioned. Farther on, 'at the restaurant, he found his friend Henry Ince waiting impatiently at the curb. On Sat- urdays at 1 o'clock they always lunched together in the height of peace and amity, and an hour later became reviling rivals on the Lake- ‘wood golf course. “Sorry you had to wait'" saild Mr. Holmes. as he joined his friend and they went up the steps together, “but my porter has been away all morning and things piled up.” Mr. Ince was smiling reminiscently. “Orestes?” he asked. “Yep,” frowned Mr. Homes. “He gets slower every day. Left the shop at 9 o'clock this morning. on a trifling errand, and dldn't get back entil after 1! 1 suppose it's the heat.” he added indulgently. “Heat, nothing!" contradicted Mr. Ince. olmes, that boy is an ad- venturing knight-errant. I believe never fares forth in his truck without driving some unexpected and situation, from which he extricates himself with the ease of a profes- sional prestidigitator.” “Great grief! exclaimed Mr. Holmes. “If he has all that thel matter with him, maybe he ought to see a doctor.” “All right,” said Mr. Ince; “but it's the truth and I can prove it " *They had reached the table, farthest from the orchestra, where , they always sat and Mr. Holmes gave the order to the hovering, saddle-hued waiter. “George, got any chicken?” “Naw, suh, we cain git no chicken.” His expression was that of utter woe. “You mean the boss or you?” * ok ok ok A SMILE suffused the dusky face. “He-he! Yassir, I 'speck I means de boss. - “I thought so,” said Mr. Holmes sardonfcally. He flipped the menu aside. good—and not hot?" “Ice tea,” replied the lazy-witted servitor. “The devil! to make my lunch off_that! me a tongue sandwich.” “Yassir” The negro bobbed like a cork on a fishing line. You don’t expect me Bring “A fruit salad,” continued Mr. Holmes. "Yalah"-—-fivln the bobbing def- erence. “And about a gallon of your won- derful ice tea,” finished Mr. Holmes “Yassir.” This time the waiter cut his bow short to look inquiringly at Mr. Ince. “Shoot it double,” ordered that one without a tremor. The negro suppressed a giggle and hurried to the execution of the order. “Now, let's have your knight-errant stuff,” reminded Mr. Holmes. ‘““What, for instance, has Orestes been doing is morning?” R Whon T last eaw him." replied Mr. TInce with provoking deliberation, “he had just dumfounded the judge. an- nihilated an upatart lawyer. and up- pet the decorum of a whole city urt!” UBy golly™ exclaimed Mr. Holmes, leaning forward with interest. “And he got away with it!" cor- tinued Mr. Ince with mounting en- thusiasm. “Tickled the judge so that he dismissed his case. ~Mind you, I don’t know what his case was. Prob- ably he and his chariot had upset the decorum of Deep Ellum some way. 1 don't know . “Go on, Ince.” “Well, sir, I was at the city hall and went into the municipal court room to see Judge Clement a me- ment. “I know him.” Mr. Holmes toyed with his fork reflectively. “He al- ways makes me think of what Lowell said of Emerson: ‘When one meets him the’fall of Adam scems a false report.” ™ "3, fine character,”” agre®d Mr. Ince. “Well, Orestes had been ar- rested and haled into court. That ng upstart, Caton, who just grad- uated from law school in June, was conduoting the examination. He hates a negro and was doing every, thing he could to make your bo: uncomfortable.” “Showing oft! Holmes. o “I pecken. His loud mahner’ sort of spurred Orestes on and the darky got very dignified and precise in his language.” “Oh, I does since he's been drill- ing the high-school cadets and rup- ning with that intcllectual bunch— lie oozes language.” “Yes. Old_Judge troubled. Finally, in his decent, fatherly way. he asked Orestes to tell him about it, which Orestes did. He sald there were a lot of darkies ~osembled in Deep Ellum and he was there also. His opponcnt was like- -vise in the company. He kept using those words ‘also’ and ‘likew a they seemed to get on e ni that little shrimp Catom. Presently he thought he saw a chance to be funny. ‘See here’ he blared. tice you use the words “also” and 2 o mod deal’ faltered Orestes, cxplain to the court the the meaning of those * said_Caton. loudly. “Yassir, said Orestes politely. He commented Mr. " reflected Mr. Holmes. oAl ‘Crack “He wouldn Mr. Ince resumed his narrative. then,’ ‘Bhou!ed Caton. “Ores! *Also and likewise. I'Il ‘splain de mean- in* of de wo'ds wid o ‘zample. S'posen tooken lawyers. 1 wuz to say Judge By OLIVE McCLINTIC into the thick of impossible “Well, what have you that'!]wl(h an “IS YOU-ALL SEED ABOUT DE HU'SS$1” EACH BROTHER BROKE INTO A RUN. JGKINSON. THE SIR KNIGHTS AND THE SIR LADIES STOOD NOT UPON THE ORDER OF THEIR GOING. LUMINOUS HUSKY. adventitious hindrances. bers that would ensue to the super- Each_felt that this could be ac- complished with a fair field #nd no favors. And today the opportunity came. It was Saturday—day of days’to the negro—his day of rest. demise more opportune.. The only évidence of adverse fortune was the fact that the subject had falled to avail himself of membership in elther the Rent Vell or the Tabernickle. Each yearned for an opportunity to display its gorgeous and intriguing geantry and ritual unmolested by yearned for the influx of new mem- lative society once it had succeeded in establishing a proper supremancy. Never was RESTES was busy furning this over in his mind when a shriek tore the circumambient alr.. Turjing. toward him with arms upraised gand screaming: “Heah is.a hu'ss!” 1t, was Nannette. His owa Nan- nette. He reached a helping hand down to her and she climbed up by his_sid ‘Honey, what is p'sess you?” he asked, displeased %8 is the of 'husbands at the public demonstrations of wives. “Ain’ nuttin’ p'sess me,” ssid Nan- nette happily. ' “But us Is gwine to p'sess dis truck. De Rent Veil 18 re- “}orous pa 24, 1921—PART 4 ha perceived a female form rushing|- I absorbed with preparations for thelr 4 o'clock funeral, knew nothing of the high-noon affalr, now in progress, un- til they heard Mr. Dusen’s tuba. It was as the rallying thump of the war drums to their Afric ancestors Olad in full regalia of office, the Children of the Tabernickle surged down Deep Ellum and turhed the - ner at the central depot plaza. e sight which met their sturing eyes might well have infurlated mortals less emotional than they. Their auda- clous rivals had stolen the corpse and were deep in the enjoyment of a lovely funeral! It was worse than preposterou was annihilating! It must be vented! But how? The denizen of Deep Ellum puts little faith in injuga- tions and legal procedure in general. Thejonly restraining order of known surety. s m;h fll!;Tc:uDPlemllflid sometimes by ng bricks. With a universal bellow of riige the Childfen of the Tabernickle. bore down upon the Sons and. Daughters of the Rent Vell. The chanting.ceased and the orchestral accompaniment ended with a gurgling toot. The functioning burial club met the onslaught of its adversary stofcally, blow for blow and halr puil for hair’pull. It was a whale of @ melee—most of Deep Ellum taking va Tt “Whaffo' you done stolé da You ole Rent Valil!" shoute e: Bobo, addressing Brother Jelly. “Whyn't you buy yo' veils ‘stid o' réntin’‘em?’ Brother Jelly, breathing like a gram- pus, lacked breath to make fitting reply. some of his loyal cohorts answered. ‘Tabernickle! Nickle! Nickle! Cheap «how! Nicelodeon!" they jeered This exchange of pleasantries ended {n the flinging of bricks, which the con- testants fliched from a flat car near by. And there is no telling to what ex- tremes of bloodshed and bruises the bat- tle might have gone had not a fly- ing: brick struck and crushed thfbugh the flimsy boards of Luminous Husky's cas There was a horrified suspen- slon of hostilities and all eyes focused on the profaned chest. An awful ef- fect was the resultant. Out of that casket, like a jack out of his box, popped the head of Luminous Husky! And as a feeble hand rubbed utraged brow, the corpse demanded: “Who dat slug- mer co'pse? Brother ® None answered! Deep Ellum was de- parting! Brethren and sistern. adver- sary and foe alige, fled, searching their .| souls for superiaVive shrieks with which OUT OF THE CASKET POPPED THE HEAD OF lied his name altogether. neither a shining light in soclety nor a willing worker, husky man ought to be. “Tlement he is a good lawye! “Caton preened himself and smiled in- dulgently. Orestes pointed his finger and continued: ‘Den I mout say: Mister Caton, you is a lawyer also—" as a to work. to have a gorgeous funeral ingratiating they’d have to turn in the ouzht destined oug] 1 general riot alarm! “Aw," grinned Mr. of the Rent Vell” and “The Children body put him up to it.” of the Tabernickle.” Their efficient “No, sir, there wasn't a hint of the|promoters had evolved innovation knockout he s delivering. He posi- tively couldn’t understand the roar that went up from the courtroom.” MR- HOLMES chuckled. His colored { VL retainer upon whom nature had lavished gifts of physical perfection, but had only doled out sparingly those of the intellect, had again achieved a for- tuitous escape from adverse circum- from the black robes and shinin spears borne in the processional rivals. had wretched initial public luck in staging its performance. Aside stances. He pushed back his chair and | from the distressing health of the reached for the check. “Orestes Is|community, those who had died had iike a cat,” he commented. *“AlwWays|not been members of either organiza- Iands on his feet!” “And I'd rather own that faculty than an oil well,” responded Mr. Ince, also rising. “Also but not likewise,” repeated Mr. Holmes, as he stood at the cashier's desk_waiting for his change. to know just what particular brand of deviltry that boy has been into. “It would be interesting! I'll bet,” said Mr., Ince, handing him his hat. They left the restaurant, entered the car and proceeded, to the afternoon's competi- tion. If this were a golf story, we should go with them, but it isn’t. It is an Orestes story. Instead we must steer our course in the direction of Deep Ellum. It was early morning of the fateful day and Deep Elum, that happy habi- tat of the negro and loathed bondage place of the Israelite, was agog. A man had been discovered dead an the stairway leading to the Development Dance Hall. Spider Cooter, one of the cinnamon soda jerkers of the Develop- ment Drug Store, had received a tele- phone message from his inamorata of the night-before dance asking him to look in the dance hall for one of the bangles missing from her friendship bracelet. \Whistling carelessly, he as- cended the steps to the hall and all but | stumbled over-the reclining form. It turned him ‘ashy! “ He fled precipitately tion. But ill fortune of this char- acter cannot last forever. Finally after anxious walting, one of the ‘Children of the Tabernickle suc- cumbed to the flu, and joyous antici- pation possessed the soul of the man- ager. He eagerly assembled his co- horts and dispensed funeral finery against the afternoon’s pageant. But the provoking brother would not stay dead! After lying for three hours on the icy marble slab of the under- taking room, he came to with hi teeth chattering. *Golly!" he ex- claimed, rising to a sitting posture. “Hit's cold! Whar is my pants?" Hardly less disappointing had been the lot of the rival society. A son of the Rent Veil pissed on and the funeral progressed. Two innocent: Clement looked , | down the stairs, dashed into the drug store, and reported his find to Dr. Rambo Hearne, who sat at the foun- tain calmly sipping an early morning near-beer. o' Gawd, doc, they's a dead man on the stailis!” s White or culfed?” asked Dr. Hearne, setting down his glass. . doc, he's brack! An’ I think hit's dat Luminous Husky.” - . . Dr. Hearne, whose figst impulse had been to discard his drink and hasten to thé unfortunate, decided. upon the further revelations of Spider, that there was no hurry, and resumed his drinking. There was little need- of haste for a black man and positively. none for Luminous Husky. -‘“How clost ju come to ‘im?” he asked, drain- ing his glass. & ok “Lordy!” 1 come closter'n I in- ended!” conféssed the still badly sbaken Spider: < ‘fcame a plaintive voice from within: Dr, Heatne r%ne and made his way+'Let me down easy!” The mourners to, the man off the stairs, followed by | pricked up their- ears and there wa the usual crowd of curious onlookers. i a noticeable hiatus in the chant. The Yes, it was Luminous. And he was disposal of the casket proceeded tim- decidedly out of luck. He had sadly \orously. Again came the injunction, failed to distinguish between ethyl and | With sepulchral insistance, from with- methyl alcohol and dissolution ‘was, the | in_the box:-“Let me down ea-sy. result. One whiff decided Dr. Hearne | Bump!‘The casket reached its last in his diagnosis. “Wooden alcohol!” |resting place with a joit and the he $,,om,c,d pompously. funeral cortege dissolved. “Too bad. I told him he better lay| ok % looking white boys edged near. Never trust a white boy at a negro-function! One of the boys had a funny vocal gift. As the casket was lowered, off that bootleggin’. stuff!” And that was about as far as Deep Ellum sym- pathy went. For Luminous Husky be- ONSEQUENTLY heither socety felt had- had a fair chance. that it He was | This oversight, Deep Ellum He was a pariah as to society and a parasite as Nevertheless Luminous Husky was There were two burial socleties in Deep Ellum, “The Sons and Daughters after innovation in funeral procedure, g & the Busted Heart and Broken Wheel floral tributes deposited on the grave at departure. They represented the last word in funerals and they were Each society was new and each had | STRUGGLED WITH A SIMILAR OPPONENT. under the circum- stances, either society was prepared to overlook. The thing which agita- ach claimed and argu- ainsald. loudly an- possession of the. body. it with intense rivalry ments that would not be “He was my prospek. Tabernickle. | already done s'licited ‘im._Didn’ I gin 'im a milk shake in de Development Drug Sto'? An’ wuz gwine to jine an' mek ‘is fu'st payment when he git a job." ver neider,” réplied Jamison Jelly of the Rent Veil. tak- ing exception to each and every al- legation, all and singular. “We got de_fu'st’ claim. He b'longs to us!” “How come?” argument. “His stepmaw is a mem- | ber of de Rent Vell an’ blood is thicker { than milk shake This altercation took place at the undertaking establishment where the bone of contention had been carried earlier In the day. But though the brethren argued lustily neither was lcom-xnced and neither budged an inch from his uncompromising de- I termination to conduct the obsequles lof Luminous HusWy. They appealed to the undertaker, who, for business reasons, maintained a life member- | ship in each organization ~ “I doan see no way outen of it a-, tall,” he said, scratching his_head, “less'n you hol's a jint fune'al” TRe ‘contestants shook their heads. For ubvious reasons this would not o. “Den you méut could bury Brud- der Husky twict. He would sholy enjoy to see hisse'f gettin' two nice fune‘als.” This would not do either. The un- dertaker was a poor suggester. He would have lost his reputation en- tirely. as an arbiter, had he not made a third effort. “Is you'all seed about de hu'ss?" Here was a detail that must not be overlooked. Deep Ellum boasted only one catafalque. The society which contracted for it first probably would get to have the funeral. The rivals left the establishment abruptly. Each broke into a_ run. But it was no evenly matched race. Brother Jelly was as fat and wabbly as his name suggested, while Brother Bobo was sprinter. He won. That is, condition- ally. The owner of the hearse had just given it a coat of azure paint o'clock. At 4 o'clock. provided he re- ceived §25, cash in hand. on or before the hour, the hearse would be avail able. Brother Bobg produced the nec- essary coin, smiled broadly, turned away and busied himself with the thousand and one details necessary to ja successful and impressive function. rother Jelly, admitting defeat, the Rent Veil to face the disappolnt- ment of its members. Such was the state of affairs when Orestes entered Deep Ellum with his truck. He had performed his errand and was shopbound. Deep Ellum was not directly in his path, but it was al- ways a refreshment to his jaded spirits to turn his chariot into that Appian Way of Darktown and open her wide. He was tearing along Its length, with a watchful eye on the cross streets for a sudden darting motor cop, and did not notice the throngs ¥ A HEAVY HAND DESCENDED UPON ORBSTES’ SHOULDER. HE,Heart and the Broken Wheel. Next TURNED AND FACED AN OFFICER OF THE LAW. HUSKY ALSO that crowded the narrow sidewalk: Presently a familiar voice hailed him: “Hi, Rest Eease!" * Lookiug, he saw his friend, Mannie Blair, and drew in to the surb in front of the Development Drug Store, In amazement he noted the dense gather- ing. It seemed as if all Deep Ellum had taken up its abode on the sidewalks. “Hi, Mannie! When did de ci'cus git to town? “Hit aln’ no cl’cus. Hit's a fune'al.” “Who's _daid?" Orestes’ voice was resonant with eager awe. #Dat ole Luminous Husky." “Luminous? Whod him stirrl “Hit ain’ ‘him de rival buryin® clubs.” ted the rival managers was procuring | nounced Brther Campbell Bobo of the Brother Brother Jelly was ready with his endowed by nafure with the legs of a | and 4t would not be dry before 4| addled back to the headquarters of celve cressfall, count, o' not havin' no hu'ss—an’ dis is {t! She smiled cqm- placently and patted the truck. ° | It was borne in upon Orestes that | his truck was being commandeered for the uses of the burial club of which his mate was an ardent mem- er. He remonstrated: t out, | Nannie-gu'l. Hit cain’ be. Me an' de truck’s late now, Mist' Bill, would lay me out, so you'd git to h another fune'al, iffen I wuz to haul dat co'pse to de grabeya' “But how's us gwine to git ‘im dar | pleaded Nannette. “Let 'im git dar bes' way he can emphasized Orestes. “I ain’ bodderin’ ‘bout dat ole Luminous Husk: “Hit ain’ fo' de co'pse’ sake I Keers confessed Nannette with tears in eyes and voice. “Hit's me what wuz gwine to carry a spear in de peerade an’ be a Sir Lady, an’ Callie what wuz gwin to i Wipe Dem Tears.’ an’ de uni- de flowérs an’ Mista Amos Op—" "~ Her voice broke with a sob and Orestes felt_himself slipping. “Fune'als don’t commence till fo' o'clock,” he objected. “Dat'll take too {much time." { Nannette thought for a moment and her fertile brain hit upon an idea. ‘Oh Rest Ease, wll hab it at high ‘noon! Hit's heap mo' stylisher!” | “Better make it high ‘leben o'clock! Hit's heap mo' safer!” wid Orestes’ yielding protes Thus was evoived the coup of the Sons and Daughters of the Rent Vel A high-noon funeral! The class of it! | Nothing camparable to it had ecver been accomplished in Decp Ellum! It would mark the ascéndancy of | the Sons and Daughters of the Rent Veil and the utter vanquishment of the Children of the Tabernickle! Prcparations went madly forward. Nannette's enthusiasm was _infec- ticus. Orestes- was _surprised to find himself becoming interested in the decoration of the funeral car and even lending a helping hand. He | dared not think of his employer. | _The only time he revolted was when | Nannette "confided: “Iffen us has de Tarf Orchestry {0 { fune'al. ‘you'll hab to loand de bur. ] | vin' club five dollahs ‘count o' Mi Dusenses tuba; bein’ in de hock. Orestes balkted. “Look heah, honey, I an’ 'bout no fune'al! All I wants is to get_th'oo!" Nanpette. “Cummon. Rest Easc, cain halfway march widout no music. She was llke a child bercft ‘of a plaything and Qrestes’ stony leart showed signs of melting. Nannette played her trump card. “Brudder Jelly say if youwll ad- vance de money. Rest Ease, pint ime de Gran' Mistress ob de Catty- falque when us gits to de cemetery.” | __Orestes was incredulous. “Caity | Fork! Dey ain' mo such- thing!" Nannette ‘enlightened him. ~ She | knew all about the function of fun- erals even as.ier sisters of the Cau- i casian rgcc know all about the func- of weddings. The fascination jn either case is the same. She bey “De Gran' Mistress ob de Catt; ifalque stands right betwixt de Busted Heart an' de Broken Wheel wile eve'ybody comes up to view de re- mains, de music plays, an’ she beats time to de music wid a white lily. Hit's jist grand, Rest Ease, to be de Gran’ Mistress ob de Cattyfalque, an’ hit doan cost but five dollahs!" So she had her way In the end and Orestes saw his wealth. applied to the redemption of the instrument, without very clearly deéfined ideas concerning whom he should look_to for reimbursement—the club or , Mr. Dusen. Had he but divined 1€ he was to receive his money from a source entirely distinct from either, but Orestcs was gifted with no powers of divination. Instead, he sighed. This funeral was getting on his nerves and.swhat was worse, it had devastated his pocket- book. But he noted with relief that e A Gl LR ,P Tonensls '.w 'orming. TTHE vicnity of the 0ld central de- pot—now abandoned for the beau- tiful new downtown station—was the plage of mobilization. The order of the' procession was as jfollows: First, Parson Padelford and iJamieson Jelly in the fortfier's splen- ldid new Molls aitomobile. Then ;Oreste® with tiie funeral car, followed iby,the flower bearers with the Busted ithe mourners with sopping. tears and ithe chanters with melancholy dirge. | These were formed of the older and jmore sedate mi rs, Professor and Mrs. Septimus” Sugg, Dr. Ram Hearne and Sister Savannah Jordan and the like. After them.came the bloods—the . sir knights and the sir_ladles—Mannie * Blair, Hosea Hupp, Sloo-foot Jackson,® Eliphllate L Hlawatha Bones, Callie Camp, Pearline Wiggle, Minerva WYen, Millie Moon and -Nannette.. It was like a picnic to them, and 'y pirouetted -n their somher rol d , brandished playfully tiny swords &and 'D‘:l'!\ This was before the assemblage had been called to order; afterward, of course, théy would radiate gloom. The Black and Tan Orchestra brought up the rear, led by Mr. Amos Dusen tooting complacently on his hardly re- covered tubs. A Members of the rival organization, carin’ | y; “Wéll, dat's de bes' way.” a!!er!e% o 1 to give expression to their terror. The sir knights and the sir ladies stood not upon the order of their going! The rhythmic art of the mourners and chanters was changed to horrified wails as they went away from there, and the Busted Heart and the Broken Wheel suf- fered further demolition under the ruth less tread of stampeding feet. Yty ifated mourngrs scuttled for places of & fety. They climbed the versnda ! posts of the Greater Delmonico Hotel— for colored. ~They scurried into the below-the-sidewalk barber shops and plumbing _establishments, like ~prairie dogs to fheir holes. They dashed into the N@Orth Pole Cafe, upsetting the noonday oblations_of, as announced by the exterior sign, “hot catfish and chit- terlings,” and dodged without, injury be- tween the wheels of slow-moving freight cars. * *x kX (QRESTES was torn between two opinions. He would fain have joined the fleeing mob, but he feared to leave his truck. It would be just like that unprincipled Luminous Husky to climb out, descend, crank up, and depart. No, he would get rid of the pest somehow, salvage his truck from its funeral trappings, and beut it back to the shop. Hipg glance fell upon the bewildered Husky, who, with eves half blinded from the poison of the insidious drink, groped uncertainly at his grave habilments. “Git out!” commanded Orestes con- temptuously. | < “What is happen to me, 4sked Luminous fgintly. “Alnt nutti happen to you,” re plied Orestes with scorn. “But you bust up de fines’ fune'al Deep El- mister?” Orestes’ voice arose in anger: teh all de trouble de buryin' clubs is tuck! You oughter be ‘shamed o' vo'self. Besides, you is cost me time Luminous turned a cold boiled eye on his.accuser: Husky's voice rose In anguish and he struggled out of his cerements. “I don’ wanta be buried Orestes’ patiende was exhausted. His fist struck out and caught Husky on the jaw. “Shut up! What's dat got to do wid 1t? A heavy hand descended upon Or- estes’_shoulder. He turned and faced an’ officer of the law. Husky also strug- gled with a similar opponent. Mr. Holmes, by reason of an un- usual and overwhelming golf victory, reached home in a high state of ex- uitation. Sitting accross the table at dinner., he ceased his absorbing re- cital of how it was done to remark upon the jaded appearance of the lusunlly smiling Lelia. | “What's the matter, isort of done up?” “Oh, 1'don’t know. It's been a full day. Nannette has been gone all day. She got into trouble and Orestes did too.” ‘What " kind of trouble?” Holmes interestedly. “I think Nanette got in the way f a flying brick and Orestes got ar- rested. '‘Great grief! What was the cause of the scrap?”. ‘A funeral in Deep Ellum. The rival socleties had a fight over who'd bury the corpse and meither got to, because he was impolite enough to come to life, and Orestes remonstra- ted with him and both he and the corpse were arrested.” uffering cats!" o Mr. Holmes' epithet reminded him of his feline simile earlier in the ‘day, at the conclusion of the luncheon. Strangely the disjointed tale began to piece itself in his mind with the denouement which Mr. Inceé had de- scribed. He chuckled to himself and, going to the back door, called Oreste! As his long-suffering but always ntentioned porter Holmes ejaculated: T've been hearing about you!™ Orestes hung his head. don't always take cognizance,” began Mr. Holmes portentously, “of your foolishness, but this time I'm going to." b3 Orestes was a trembling image of penitence. The words sounded omi- nous. “Taking - cogni: mean but cne thing—a “cu . What do you think ought to be done with a boy who puts on such shows as you have today?” asked Mr. Holmes severely. . 1 don’ know, Mist' Bill, lessen yo jist 'takes coggifess Ilke you sal Taltered the bronze image of woe. “I'll do that alo.” said Mr. Holmes. He produced g five-dollir bill, and, laying 1t in the palm of the amazed Orestes, added: “but not likewise. “Great grief!” exclalmed Ore: (Copyright, 1021. Al r'zhts reserved.) Sixth Sense of Fish. How salt water fish that at certain periods in their lives migrate to fresh water always find their way into the same rivers is made clear by the investigations of experts who have recently been studying the reaction of salt water fish to various conditions of environment. @ It appears that herring can detect differences in heat and cold as little as & quarter of a degree or Ie:’. They also know when even the. slightest trace of acid or alkall is present in the water. Some acientists have even proposed that harfl‘&lnd other fish be used to wWetect e presence of chemicals in the water, just as during the war canaries were used to dis cover traces of poisonous The investigators say that salmon find their way into rivers by means of the presence of acjds or alkalis, which, of course, varies in different streams. Even when they are a long way out at sea they can discover the’ trace that will lead them to the bay and the stream they seek. It thus be- | 'comes unne: to a 1 o “homing instinct” to_ explain the re- turn of certain salmon to certain riv- ers.or the “running” of hearing tc certain localities. . hon; you look pursued appeared, | i ] W [} American Tourists Find i Scarcity of Franc| Piece, Once Much \Used in Europe: Soiled, Flimsy Paper am‘l Gummy Postage, .Stamps Serve as] " Means of Exchange.l Drop in Value of Franc and Rise in Prices. BY PHILIP C. KAUFFA? HAT would you think If you were dining in a large ho- tel or restaurant, gave the walter a ten-dollar bilf for| your meal and he brought you back for change a heaping plate of scrubby ittle wérn and torn bits of paper, much resembling a collection of cigarette cgupons carried for weeks In a smail Hoy's pocket, and a half | dozen or so postage stamps? No, none of the Washington hotels is likely to speed its parting guest with 80 unattractive a souvenir. This is fot a state of affairs in America. Bt Americans, long held up by the war and its aftermath, who have taken this summer to “cross the pond” and “do” the continent or join | the tourist crusade to the battle- fields, will get their fill of the “dirty little scraps of paper.” The necessity for the aforemen- tioned arises from the situation of u dearth of coins in continental i‘nu..a Recent arrivals from abroad port that they have traveled from one end of France to the other with- out so much as seeing a single silver piece. One pilgrim, on returnigg nere, had a franc wished on him, in lieu of, a twenty-five-cent piece, shortly ‘after his homecoming, and remarked that it was the first franc that he had seen. since sailing from New York, more than three months 4go. ! i | ck In the metal age, as every | one knows, the most used coins in Europe, aside from the co the franc, with a pre- about 20 cents, and the fifty-centime plece worth then about 10 cents. These have been replaced by the paper money, now commonly spoken of by tourists as the “filthy chits,’ and ‘since the plugged nickle affair used for 25 centimes is very scarce, it has become the custom to use postage stamps as currency rather than to hand to a customer twenty or thirty of the big cart-wheel cop- pers and have him suffer from back- ache before he can find anything 3 }Silver Coins Disappear When You Reach France pease & taxi driver for his “pour- boire. The extended pooket has been found a necessity, but its draw- back lies in the fact that the paper used t the smaller bank nates is 8o flimsy and tearable, of s0 poor a quality, that when several score are rammed into one pocket, together with the habitual bunch of keys and penknife, or perhaps undep a well- thumbed Baedeker, they are apt to be drawn forth well gummed to- gether, many torn to shreds, and not a few so wadded into little pellets that they never uld be unwadded without "lasing their identity com- pletely.- - Postage stamps also have their disadvantages as hand-to-hand currency, especially during the warm- er months, unless, of course, one has been foresighted enough to taSe along an album and can tear out w sheet when needed. - +The example used at the beginning of this story to bring some balm to the heart of stay-at-homes has been the rule in France for so long that it has become quite the accepted thing. Dignified old garcons and pompous mayires d'howl at the Ritz and the Caffe de Paris now can lay a platter full of ragged money and a strip of pink stamps betore plethoric. host withou! batting eye. Nor is this alone an actu in the larger cities. Coins “are s scarce in the outlylng provinces. From the banks of the Rhine to the mouth of the Rhone the little shredded cou- pons are everywhere the scourge of the wayfarer. Along~ the Riviera an ingenious strategy has been resorted to. Stamps of different denominations are pasted on small disks of cardboard, over the stamps are placcd round pieces bE isinglass and round metal bands are used to keep the parts together and afford strength. It is said that this clever arrangement will bear a deal of usage. Farther west in Europe it {s reported that china coins are com- monly used. TTHERE has been put forth but one #00d reason why the French pa- per money is printed on such destruc- tible and cheap paper. One must spend it almost immediately” after acquir- ing it or it iy liable to dwindle apay to a few moist ribbons right between thy-fingers, becoming utterly useless. Another pitfall that pesets the way of the unwary sojoursier, unless the quick-spending method is resorted to, is the fact that the banks in each prov. ¢ manufacture their own bills, which are good only where issued. Tne uninitiated wanderer may leave Havre with pockets bulging with pa- per francs, only to arrive in Paris and tind them spurned by even the red- capped” porter on the warpath for 5. * ok ok * in the foregoing erudite essay on the financial condition of Europe, no mention has been made of gold. Gold has disappeared as mysteriously from sight as has silver, and yet from a totally different cause. There has been no gold since the middle of the war. First, the government an- nounced that paper money would ve issued in vast amounts. People immediately hoarded gold, cheap enough to spend them for. * % % % MASY versans, having heard that the franc has deprectated umtil it is worth next to nothing, have gained the impression that they could g0 to Paris and. with the rate of ex- change so greatly in their favor, do ! next winter's shopping and save enough on the difference to pay for the trip. This idea ix mothing if not a mieplaced brain throb, and might prove a total loss to any one think- ing of earning a to abroaq in t fashion. ® The fact of the matter is that just so fast as the rate of ex- change has gone dows just so fast have the prices kept an upward pace, only usually one jump ahead and probably “wo jumps ahead for Amer- icans. One of the American automo: biles selling ,for about $400 is re ported mow to cost about one thou sand dollars {n good United States coin of the realm of Paris, or its equivalent in francs, no matter what the rate of exchange. : \With this situation, it can be readily seen that the one-franc bank notes are not overburdened with value as far as purchasing potentiality is con- cerned. It is said that a handful ot them ould get a bag of peanuts, it they but could be bought there, and s an armful might do in -trade for a good cigar. if good cigars were but known in dear old Parce. The re- sult, of course, can be seen. At every dealing one accumulates wads of these things and one dare not venture out without pecks of them on one's person to cope with the petty trans- actions of the day. the outcome belng that hunting coats, equipped with the big pockets for carrying game, as well as the hip pocket of prescribed prohibition dimensions, have become very ‘popular among the male of the tourist species, and the old-fashioned net marketing bag is said to be Yery much in vogue among the women. No one as yet has found a really practical way of carrying this French paper money. A wallet is useless, as none has been designed to date large enough to carry even e sufficient number with which to ap-' knowing that its value would be retained, even If the bottom did fall out of paper money. Very soon gold Wwas at a premium and safely hidden away in the family sock by the thrifty householder for future use. But not long after that it became unlawful to spénd gold. There was only one thing to be done with jt— and that was done. It is said, though it is hard to verify, that the flawnbrokeru of Paris have emptied he coal from the bins in their cel- lars to fill them up with the bright, shining Louis that formerly belonged to_the thrifty French householder. How the French silver has gone by the board and brought about the ic is a “red Four rea- sons are given for this: First, the government has used a great amount of it to pay off war debts; second: the government has stored up vast amounts to be able to issue more paper money; thirdly, there sprang up a year' br, tWo ago‘®hé game kmown as “melting her up.”’ Due to the deprecia- tion of French money, there came a time _when the sfvetr in a coin was wortli more than its face value and many unscrupulous ‘Immediately took advantage of it. ' The government or- dered that no silver should be taken out of the coun:ry, and smuggling and boil- ing it down for bullion became rampant. These thrée methods of evaporation have been set forth to explain the situation by learned figgnciers who have studied the question. ®However, statisticians who have figured it out to the decimal point aver that only a small fraction of the silver disappeared in this wise. The greatest bulk of it left France in the form of souvenirs in the pockets of the A. E. F., viasthe Army and Navy transports. There were some 4.000.000-odd Americans “doing” Europe, and being done, dur- ing the recent altercation with Ger- many, and up to the present time there have been fo only six men who did not return with a fistful of French coins as trinkets for the folks back home. Street car conductors have com- puted that there are more franc and fifty-centime pieces in circulation, or, rather, trying to get into circulaticn, in the United States every day than there have been in France during the past year. insanit; The Reconciliation By Jean Bertheroy . 1 : | | | | i Transtatea Fgom fhe Fremch by WILLIAM L. McPHERSON. BIG bouquet of white iflacs and.tea roses was walting | for Odette in the salon. She had become engaged the evening before. She was twenty years old and had complete faith in her happiness. . i The marriage had been decideqd on very suddenly. Her mind was still in & whirl. She didn’t doubt that she had inspired tender sentiments in lj’lel heart of the well-mannered and digni- | fled young man with whom she had; danced so often at parties Wllel\lvar: they met. He had sought her hand, and since they belonged to the sam world, since their fortunes were | about equal and . their ages well matched, no obstacle to the union appeared. Now she breathed in the odor of #hese lilacs and roses. Was it not the odor of the happiness which they were going to pluck? Rene de Martignac pleased her very much. She had been inclined to love him. But she found it most agreeable thgt in the pretty duel of love it was he who had been tquched first. Mme. de Gyrien entered the room. “Well, Odette,” she said, “are you happy? Your flance has chosen the most beautiful flowers to offer you. This* bouguet is worthy of a Prin- cess! “Yes, mamma, I am very happy. 1 am living In a dream. I can’t believe that all this is actually true. “You must get used fo the idea of becoming the Baron de Martig- nac,” Mme. de Gyrieu answered wtih a smile. Suddenly her expression changed. “You ought to go today d tell sour father that you are engaged. Ot course, he has had some hints how things were progressing and has put no obstacle in the way of your free choice.” e ODE.’!TE flushed. She saw her father, whome she loved as much us ghe Joved her mother, only.at rare intesvals. He 1ived: on the other side of Paris. A t accompantel her in a carrlage go the door of his hotel. Stie went up® to his apartment and spent half an Lour with him. This been going on for years—eyer Odette had taken her first com- munion. He had ieft home one night after a stormy scene. the cause of which she had never understood. He hadn't come back, and in the house which he had deseried no one ever spoke of him. “I'll_go,” she suld, “but oughtn't I take Rene to call on hi “You can do that later,” Mme. da Gyrieu said, dryly. They separated. The fresh bouquet was left alone in the discreetly shad- cd salon. In her own chamber upstairs Odetie began to reflect. A painful thought had intruded itself on her happines: " since | She was no longer absorbed with the future. Her mind turned to the pusi. How many times in the course of a brilliant and frivolous life had sho seen her mother a prey to attacks of melancholy! How many times also had her father seemed to her gri and constralned, as if oppressed by a secret preoccupation! Did they regret their separation, or did they suffer merely from moral solitude? She hed never sought to know the occasion of their rupture, She would have thought it odious and impious to side with one against the other. She had taken refuge in her jgnorance as in an in- violable asylum. Today, nevertheless, she ventured to wrestle' with this dreaded problein. On her writing table was a photos graph of r father and. mother, taken, no doubt. soon after their mar- riage. They Were young and smiling and sebmed very happy. The nimbus of love rested on'the foreheads. Yes, they must have Joved each other. They hud exverienced that pride, that in- toxication, that fullness of life which were presently to be hers. Thay bad walked toward happiness with Iixht and certain step Suddenly all wa broken off. ‘Then came the great silence, tive irrepa: ble-n!plrl:h)n gladly given wedding p: shook her head. She ing about her but ol certainty. The futur. ture—made her afraid. the disunion of her presage, She . trem thould some day be o -her own fu- fennd in