Evening Star Newspaper, May 1, 1921, Page 78

! g W THE SUNDAY STAR, WASHINGTON, D. C. THE DILBO BIRD ET AL. LD Horace P. plodding wearily. \ sired earnestly to go and climb a ‘ tree and pull the tree up after him. | It was Mr. Towle's firm conviction | e | Something avian | that Etna Gore was just the plac | ways off”; besides, he had a cousin ! there. Bucyrus D. Purvis, besides being Mr. Towle's cousin, was first selec - man of Etna Gore, but the posse sion of that office did not signity that Mr. Purvis was either proud or a plutocrat. Etna Gore was in such straits, financially and socially. that | nobody wanted the thankless job of selectman. The voters had brow- beaten Mr. Purvis into taking the " office because he could keep books. Therefore it was to an humble and unpainted cottage that Mr. Towle took his way. He was obliged to tell his cousin who he was. because the tastes and the paths of Messrs. Towle and Pur- vis had been far divergent for many | years. Mr. Purvis. who wore his hair in ringlets and masked the most of his emotions with a beard. showed cordiality in his meek blue cyes. * declared Mr. Towle, stoutly. “I'll tell you right at the outset that 1 would never have come a-cousining n't in a dretful state “Land sakes!” sympathized his cou: in. “Tell me all about it.” “It's too long & story. and I'll faint away if 1 don’t get something to cat Ain't dinner 'most ready “I'll have the woman hurry it Come in!" Mr. Towle hesitated a moment “Cy, if you think this is imposing on you, or if your wife will feel that I'm sponging, or if youwd ruther I'd g0 on—" “1 tell you to come in!" cried Mr Purvis, gleefully. “You have come to me in the nick o' time. 1 need you.! We'll eat 1 can make your fortune. and then I'll show you.” * % Xx ¥ D[RS PURVIS was cordial. too. this heartened Mr. Towle. becau he had a bachelor's awe of a hou wife surprised by an unexpected guest at the last moment. There was plenty to eat—good food, oo’ 7 “I don't mind telling you that we've had a run of luck lately,” said Select- man_ Purvi “So pitch right in and eat hearty. “I'm glad to hear that some one in the family is on the up-grade.” Mr. Towle stabbed a potato, elevated it on his fork and began to peel it. His eyes roved gustfully over the steam- ing nappies and platter: *“A city man came here and started a sheep ranch, and 1 was president and general manager till he—hé got restless, like all these rattle-headed city fellers do, and went away. But while it lasted. I made a good thing." Then Selectman Purvis attended strictly to eating. “I hope you don't feel too logy to move about a little,” suggested Mr. Purvis, solicitously, after the dinner had been cleaned up. “l want to show you something that is con- cerned with that future of yours 1 spoke about.” Mr. Towle, blinking like an over- fed cat, painfully boosted himself oua of his chair. _*1 don't know whuther it's because 1 have hoofed it so far or because I have et so much, but 1 Qo feel kind of ungainly. How far do we have to move?" “Only to the barn.” “Weil, T reckon I can get as far as| that without using a wheel chair.” But the moment Mr. Towle arrived in the barn, he bounced out of his torpidity with great suddenness. He Dbeheld in various cages two huge and Rigeous baboons, about a dozen mon- | keys, an enormous python. some queer little woolly animals that he could not identify. and a most ex- traordinary fowl with bare neck and Towle came | footing it into Etna Gore, | He was | i in the mood of the dis-| . heartened historic individual who de- | ! for a man who wanted to get “a good | you've probably noticed as much And youre welcome to ‘em and all the interest they take in you. But if that's the way vou feel about that bird I'll adopt him as sort of my own pet, because him and me seems to think about alike on most atters, judging from his expres- | sion.” Perhaps the dilbo in bird recognized Mr. Towle's hooked beak of and littie eves, set close At any rate, they got particalarly well. Ingide of two the bird would allow Mr. Towle to scratch the nubbly neck with his forefinger. | It was a iong neck, and when the bird stood straight and stretched it up he was nearly 4 yard tall. He had a few feathers on his back and on_ his wings, but his tail consisted only of bare quills. ! Mr. Purvis had given names to, the other animals. but he had not bothered to honor the dilbo bird in | that fashion. After pondering on the matter for some days. Mr. Towle in- formed the dilbo bird that the after his name would be “Llewellyn Sturnell.” “That's the man I hate ybody in the whole world. don't like nobody any too well.”™ Mr. Towle informed Mr. Purvis and the the blinking bird. wust nfl and 1! %1 don't think 1 ever heard 8f this Sturnell. Who is he?” i “Lell Sturnell was in partnership with me in the ho.s business. and ! he cheated me out of every cent hel could lay his hands on—but 1 saw | to it th he wound up busted. too.” declared Mr. Towle. not at all abashed in admitting that the prop- ! osition was _ double-edged. “And when T was down to my last ho and before I had a chance to Win a purse with her. it was his bear that ; chased her and scared her into the | heaves. And there's more about him. | but T den’t like long stories. Al is.} this bird is now Llewellyn Sturnell. and as soon as I ha i ¢ the thing | thought out a little more T'll show you why I have picked that name. I'm sorry to have to stick it onto} even a bird like this one, but ""i ¢ bird don’t know what it mexns. and it_can't hurt.” For several davs Mr. Towle was bus) tinkering with sheet iron that he salvaged from a discarded stove: tween whiles he practiced on Mr. Pur-| vis' fiddle. which he borrowed. One} forenoon he asked Mr. Purvis fo stay X[ ot IRS. PURVIS WAS CORDIAL, TOO.” in the Ol Town Tonight. stirred interest in a most surprising way. The news did not reach Llewellyn Sturnell at onc thougzh he w wn the fair grounds. Bul it was in a vers retired part of the grouads, in o consultation with a man’ to| whom he had counted out mon The man_ was complimentins Sturnell. The man had good r for complimenting Mr. Sturael cause the latter had been since early that morning. It should be-stated the maa was Omel Stimpson, county agent for the Society for tite' Prevention of Cruel to Animals. For that day and Mr. Stimpson had appointed Mr. 1 a special agent. tur- You have d E v 3 ¥ ated :“m",zlu‘:,“""\"m'“,‘," Job 11l be Thack here in about five min- . tutes with a gent who'll show you e ause 1 know (he wakjWhaUs what in the way of law and v hossman in this authorit i 1 atand Just how 1o jab it You don't need to go mearching | Boasted Souctal Ament Stun %o |for me. Azent Sturnell.” said some- | Poast e el AR Sl oming (body in cold tones. and Mr. Omel around before the races and showing | Stimpson pushed foward ~througi A badge and maying ihat a hoss ain’ |the spectators. “I have just been in-| formed in regard to this cruel per-| fit to trot. They all know betier. but 1 had ‘em gu &, and they dil know how far my authority went knowing me as well as they d felt courage enough (o slip me lln-\: me- | thing.” i “The poor horses must be pro- .- | ©d” replied Mr. Stimpson. 1 fcel quite sure that you will find coindi tions at the Smyrna fair nex! quite as bad as they are her “Maybe worse! And a lot of swan- ping aiways goes on out back of the myrna grounds. It wouldn't be sur- prising if 1 had to threaten to con- demn and kill off a lot of old pelt- ers”” He winked. “Well, so long! I'll meet you on the ice at Smyrna. EE I 1 JTURNELL lighted a cigar, tilted| it cockily in the corner of his! mouth, scrubbed his sleeve over thel lobtrusive badgg on the breast of his|Towle's |nearest bail commissioner so that you where I melicred ve the tackled me.” st time you L THAT joi of memory had evident cffect on Mr. Sturnell. He 100k~ ed the dilbo bird over. stared hard at he s -iron and then wet his fin- zer and touched the metal, as & 10usewife tests a hot flatiron “So that's it. is it, Horace P. Towle? I have got e’s prison crime proved against you, and here arc plenty of witnesses to back me un. I don’t know what that critter is. but it'w an animile. and here’s what He slapped the badge. “But oing to so!l my hands on you forma (= and |1 have come here to stop it. Sir, whatever your name i he told Mr. Towle, 1 am counts agent for the P.C. A arrest you for cruelty to an animal.” Mr. Stimpson’s great and chilly diznity impressed Mr. Towle, but he was not ready to surrender. “Me and this Dbird have a thorough under- standing.” he protested. He likes| to dance. IUs his regular nature to dance. But he's a tropic bird and he'll die if his feet get cold.” “I'm glad 1o Le told so much n ural history.” said Mr. Stimpson. is very interesting. But it doesn't| alter my intention to take you to the may give bonds for your appearance before the court.” Several men stepped forward. “We'll g0 _your bail." they promised. Mr. Stimpson put his hand on Mr. shoulder and pushed him 3 through the crowd. most bumped against Sturnell. Who expect you to stand by me on the rest l:ad stopped 1o talk with a man. of the business. Sturnell.” | “Tn his hatred of a p utor. Mr.| "“p'l) do anything you ask me to do Towle promptly rccognized the voice ' for you, Stimpson. 1 only want you | of that man: it was Omel SUmpson. | ¢o jielp me, now that my sporting es you can: el they'll be so taken up with the fight= :f,‘i‘;';,';;"afi;“_""f" the ener ot ! have your rooster. MAY 1, 1921—PART 4. D One of a Series of Stories by Holman Day| follow closely—so closely that he al- | “If I lend yvou fifty dollars. T shall ing that nobody will notice you. You Mr. Towle heard him velling his chal- ave you™ A T stam dinger of a Brah- | lenge. “T'll fight any rooster In the i, Tnar ook frst prize for weight|¥orid with old Horace F. Towly and size” {here. That name ain't good enough e n't_necesary. {0 pay an ‘ex-|fOF him. but iUs the best I can think | agant price for a Fer of on short no.ice. Bring on ‘""‘i o leave off your jawinz. [ pro-|thing that has a bill and walks on | pose 10 show rou that'l ain't no such | Anything! Bring on your fool as you've been saving 1 am 1 don't care. I've got a What's the good of buying a rooster? | Winner. Bring ‘em on- 1 borrowed this one- owner don't| Mr. Towle leaped away into the know I have borrowed it. and I'll put | night. it back wicre I took it from.” { And in a little while he came leap-| “Thut may be all right. They won't | ing back. He was lugging a_heav allow vou to match that bird. And' sack of his own. In his pocket he because of the 8ize vou're all the more | had all the money from the treasury safe on that peint.” | of Messrs. Purvis and Towle. He had When Mr. Sturnell entered the barn ! rified the pockets of his sleeping part- Mr. Towle did not pursue. he had not | ner. He entered the barn quietly $ the courage o face a crowd of horse- | “What's he offering to put up™ in- fup a pantaletted UT the stukeholder put his hand behind his back and was firm. Sturnell, for nigh onto ten minutes you been dinging into our ears that you'd fight anything that's got a bill and walks on two legs. That was vour challenge. Here's the beast a-waiting! Let loose your rooster, or 1l hand the money to——" “To me said Mr. Towie. “That xent put up my money for me.” “I'd never no more put up money with old Horace P. Towle than I'd hug and kiss Judas l-scarrot, if he was back on earth.’ clamored Mr. Sturnell. “A trick has been played on me.” “Right you are’ assented Mr. Towle cheerfully. “There's no way of ketching by fair means, you blasted old eel.” cruff his feathers. blow in his eve and set h prodding Mr. Sturnell with a thumb. When Mr. Sturnell whirled to resent this attention the rooster slipped from under_his arm and dropped to the floor. Then several men reached out hands and dragged the strug- gling challenger into the ring of by- sianders The dilbo bird did not glance the way of the rooster, but continued to scrutinize intently one of his legs, occasionally picking off something that appeared to annoy him. The liberated rooster crowed lustily. The dilbo bird blinked and looked star- tled. He twisted his head around. stared at the huge fowl that was feathered to the toes, and backed away. Even Mr. Sturnell was quiet. This was 0o tense, too novel a sit- uation for anything except breath- less silence. When the rooster put leg and took a cautious step forward the dilbo bird went two steps backward. Recollec- tion of his recent feat may have men in their own purlieus. He lurked | quired Mr. Tow!le of the man nearest in the gloom of the night. keeping!him. tab on his other encmy, hnowing that| *“One hundred.” Mr. Sturnell was to return. | Mr. Towle siipped money into the It was a long wait. He judged there | man's hand. must be a good-sized crowd in the | *“Take hi u barn. for he heard many voices. “I haven't any gamecock. man!" | At last there was real bedlzm. And| I have snarled Towle in low after a little while Mr. Sturnell came | toness “But 1 _don’t want him to rushing to Mr. Stimpson. {know it's mfe that's betting till his "Did _ they catch you writing | money is up.” | demanded the alarmed su-| “Well. I'm nothing out.” said the % man. He pushed to the front of,the efch _your Aunt Betsy nothing'" |ring of men. “I'll cover that hun- scoffed Mr. Sturnell. “How much |dred. Siurnell” He handed the ney have you got in your clothes? [ money to the stakeholder. Mr. Stur- Have you gone crazy I nell had been brandishing his sheaf JJust about. They let me fight old jof bills. baiting the crowd. He Horace P. Towle' once. They said |slapped the cash into the outstretched it was for a joke. They thouzht he|hand. He picked up the huge Brahma was all barnyard and wasn't good for | rooster. *“One grand and noble gent nothing. And when that chicken up | here. and the rest all pikers,” he and shuffied at him. old ‘Horace' | bawled. “Heave your bird." jumped on him and stood on him and|{ Mr. Towle elbowed forward and un- nigh et his head off. T tell ve that|ended the sack and dumped out the old ‘Horace’ taking his own way !dilbo bird. about it can lick any hen in the| Mr. Sturnell lost his voice at that. United State: I'm going back in| *“Well,” said the stakeholder, break- there and challenge ‘em. Lend meling the silence. “put down your fifty dollars. I've got fifty of my own | rooster and introduce him to the to go with it." nger who has just dropped in. Not a cent. ot by a damsite will T fight my “Then I'll rush in there and tip the | rooster against that what-is-it. o, crowd off about you. Dam-rat ye, I'm | sir! That's a—I say I won't fight in a dangerous mood Hand me my mone: Ring Lardner Writes of Golf With t_hi_President 1 entrance and showed right into the is O the editor: Everybody | private office and shook hands with seen lately has asked me to | P’ Presidents but he also had a lot tell them about my golf of other saps to shake hands with S0 we stood and talked with Mr. Christian to try and find out the at- | titude of the administration towards some of the big questions of the hour, and he as much as admitted that he didn’t see how Cobb could get anywheres with them pitchers. | “'Finely the President was through | holding hands with the brother Elks from Spring Valley and took ‘us over {to the White House. and We had to keep calling him Mr. President as Mr. Christian had kind of mumbled his name when we was introduced. and we met the 1st. lady of the land and eat our lunch which was liver land bacon, new potatoes. asparagus, biscuits and some kind of a tart. Mr. Rice had on a gray pin stripe suit without no vest wile the writer wore a Harding blue suit complete in 3 pieces. After I had drank 2 cups of coffee mine hostess asked rre wouldn't I have some more. and I says yes and she made them get it !for me without no argument. Up to ! this time I had felt right at home. The President and Mr. Rice talked golf wile 1 and the 1st. lady indulged fn the light chit-chat which makes the present writer so sought after by fashionable N. Y. hostesses. For . when she said match with the President and | looks like they was nation wide interest in same so 1 will repeat the story over again for the benefit of those which ain't been lucky enough to see me since the mammoth event came off. Well, Grant Rice. up one day and says he had made a date for he and I to go to Wash- ington and play golf with the Presi- dent so we got there early on a Thursday A. M. and went to the hotel and eat our breakfast at the next table to Mr. and Mrs. Coolidge who however remained in bliestul it the poet, called | | heartened the rooster. at any rate, this pusillanimity of the dilbo bird produced instant effect; the rooster rushed forward and pecked the bare breast viciously and then crowed. The dilbo bird put his head on one side and peered down anxiously at the little stream of blood that fol- lowed the peck. When the rooster lunged at him again, the dilbo bird began to run around and around in circles, occasionally trying to escape between the legs of the bystanders. The crowd began to howl its hilar- ity, and a small dog which noted that the occasion had become entirely informal. rushed from somewhere be- hind the legs of the men and joined in the pursuit of the dilbo bird my game. as T had expected to stay right in Washington and play capital golf. Well we figured out TFit it would be a even game if I and Grant stood the President and Mr. Fletcher, as Grant_was supposed to be very good. Mr. Fletcher good, Mr. President pretty good and me terrible. With- out wishing to brag I must say at this junction that 1 was the only one in the party that lived up to expec- tations. We hadn’t went more than 2 or 3 holes when I understood why the man they had broughten along to keep score was from the secret service. In regards to the course we played on, why if Washington is the city of magnificent distances they's no words left to describe Chevy Chase. They had the vards wrote down on the score card like atall golf courses, but if the man that measured them had of counted Mr. Harding's votes we would have been playing vs. Gov. Cox. It's a pretty course though and T seen it all and when I got home 1 looked up was it located but the only town 1 could find in Maryland that sounded like it might be it was Trappe. * % % % \\'ELL when we had went 9 holes 1 asked our score keeper Mr. stood and he read off Jai s how w expected you would be a man %0 yrs. older.” 1 just smiled and sald “Did you After lunch the President showed n down.” urged a man, | the atlas to see where | But it became plain that even & dilbo bird had reservoirs of resent- ment that can be tapped by certain indignities: he turned suddenly on the yapping cur and knocked the dog senseless with a bang of that slung- shot head | “What is this. a dog-fight or a {cocking-main®" shrieked the amazed. despairing and furious Mr. Towle. “What else are ye going to set onto ll‘n.‘l bird ?" Then he kicked the spiritiess pol- troon. That indignity from friend and protector must have tapped {further the resentment-reservoir. The dilbo bird faced the on-rushing cham- pion. threw himself back on his tail | quills and having both feet free for action, grabbed the rooster around {the neck. held him fast and with jcruel beak wrenched off the antago- nist's head in bloody fashion 1t_was all over =o suddeniv that | Mr. Sturnell icaped too late. " But ne | rescued what was left of the defunct and began to bat Mr. Towle over the head with the remains. “Come! Come! Thix is no prize- ifght! cried the manager, pushing them apart “Towle. here's your | money. “Get out of here and take { that old dootrabulus of a bird with you. it hurts my eyes to look at it e “Listen to a word from me,” shout- ed Mr. Towle. while he twisted the neck of the sack to make sure of the dilbo bird. I overheard Lell Sturnell making plans with Omel Stimpson to get names and raid this hen-fight and milk all of you! Old Stimpson is waiting out behind the barn. He and Lell Sturnell— Mr. Sturnell had aeen Horace I Towle's mouth opening and had ticipated. He was out and away before a hand could be laid on him. And a breathless committee of in- vestigation came back in a few mo- ments and reported that Mr. Stimp- son was just as good a runner as was Mr. Sturnell. “Furthermore, he stole that rooster.” stated Mr. Towle. “And old Stimpson aided and abetted. Now let ‘em show up and prosecute me, and what will happen' reckon that after this the dilbo bird will go on dancing, all so fine and suggested a man. | “It's this way between me and this bird from now on, declared Mr. Towle: *If he informs me, after [ have got him educated enough so that he can express his wishes and tastes, that he relishes appearing be- fore the public as a dancer, I shall g0 ahead and please him in the mat- ter as best 1 know how. I shall re- gard his own feelings entirely. And speaking of his feelings, 1 serve notice on all of you that hereafter, when any of you speak to or of this bird. you will kindly remember that his name is ‘Julius H. Caesar.'” | the scores and Mr. Harding had 5¢ and Mr. Fletcher and Mr. Rice 44. “Well,” 1 says, “1 would rather be Rice than be President,” but it's vs. the' rules for Mr. Jarvis to laugh, & specially on the golf course. 1 was asked to not say what the other birds got on the last nine, but personly 1 cut off 5 strokes and come in in 65. All this wile 1 thought we had been playing for the President cup or something, but when it was over.and Mr. Fletcher give me 10 golf balls which he said I had win on the match, why you could of | knocked me down with a girder, 1t | that's the way things is going this | yr. it looks like we'd have the whole |world serious in Philadelphia. | It was after 6 o'clock when we got through and Mr. Harding asked us to | stay at the White House for supper but if the 1st lady is anything like the | 24 she don’t want the grand exalted ruler inviteing no surprise guests to | supper on a Thursday, so we stopped | just long enough to get our regular Cclothes and catched the 7 o'clock back home no worse for the trip except that it will take a long wile to get use to dressing ourselfs. RING W. LARDNER. Great Neck, April 29. ndicate, Inc Wide Variety of Fish In Waters About District Classified among the breast, warty legs and a head likeé a |out of the barn until he was called. At! 5 doorknob. - Ut of R AT e e (o (08t and ‘walked ‘oft with his hard-| 31416 an hour later Towls returned mer herring. O KO iy man left these behind— | the €nd of an hour A o e, and | boiled hat pulled down over one eve.|to his anxious partner. “I've give Grant and [ over the cozy little home LARGE number of fish familles | WCF TSNt oo are golden ide. 1 got ‘em for nothing. He didn't care | cajled. |He was patently satisfied with him- and that pip-eyed son of ge- Including the state bedrooms whch reside in or visit the rivers and | yench, golden orfe and gudgeon. Men- 1o take lem with him,” conflded Cous- | “Liewellyn Sturnell and me heve 132 | seir and with all the world e L O i kot B rerant onea was but they all looked creeks of the District of Colum-| haden are called by that nefne and are . a rehearsal or tw it's all working | 4 5 ter this. Maybe I can train that bi h ighbo also known as “bugfish” and “ale- Jike Texas and finely he turned us a and the neighborhood of}'m:, rmong the garfish are the “Hod, on account of your owning trot-hosses for o many years, you know all about the fairs, of course, and how to deal with the folks who run the fairs, and you know about the public taste. and- 74 “You just hold on a minute! You n't proposing for me to go into the show-business with them animiles, are ye? “It's a chance for both of us to make our fortunes.” “I said to you a little while ago that it's a long story how I happen | to be at the bottom, like I am. I ain't going to tell the story. Tt} would spoil that dinner I just et. But Tl say this much: The last tro hoss I had left my last chance to, climb_ back up the ladder—was chased offm the Milo fair grounds! by a bear that got loose from one | of them eshows that they're mussing up hoss-trots with nowadays. That hoss run so fast that she contracted the heaves, and now you See me like I am. Nothing left—no pro: pects! If any other man but you that I'm beholden to was saying to me that I'd do well to take hoit of a gorriffered animile show. I'd rise up and mallywhack the tophet out of him. And I'm giving you fair warn- jng that aint no kind of a safe topic.” He walked from the barn. Mrs. Purvis came to the open but- tery window. “Before You two get all” wrapped up in business talk I want to know how you'll have your chicken for supper—fried with corn fritters, or fricasseed with dump- lings > “I'll let you have the say, Hod. proffered Mr. Purvis. “But I will hint that her dvmplings are mighty fluffy and tasty!” “I wasn't thinking of hoing here for supper.” mumbled Mr. Towle. “Of course, you'll be here to sup- 1 grotesque attached on a box. lifted ithe blaze of the lamp agaif first-class. 1 yvou'll kindly step in,! we'll show you. Mr. Towle had shifted the caze-top to a_sheet-iron platform. The bird was in the cagze, standing up on the sheet- jron. Under the iron was a tin kern- sene lamp without a chimne) Mr. Towle lichtad the lamp and stuck the toe of his boot into a loap of leather to the lamp. He sat down t the tin direcly under where the | Gilho bird was =tanding. tucked the fiddle under his chin and sawed away in ively stvle. In a moment the bird be- ean to lift one foot and then the other. It stenped to a cooler spot and the lamn followed. “Dang-whelt ye, Llewellvn Sturnell. | dance!” squeaked Mr. Towle in a tone that indicated sudden passion. ‘“‘Dance. T tell ve! Dance! T've ot ve at last jest where 1 want ye. Dance!" The dilbo bird leaped about on the clattering _sheet-iron. The movement was a combination of dizzy waltz and jig. The big splay feet rapped out the time on the resounding | metal when Mr. Towle quickened up | the tune he was playing. * ¥ *x *x ATTER a time he lowered the lamp 4L and extinguished the flame. The dilbo bird stopped dancing. stood on one leg. put his doorknob of a head close to the bars and uttered a husky “Craw-w-w!" “It's lucky for you he can't get out” | zasped the astonished selectman, “He'd kill_you Nonsense and fush!" said Mr. Towle “Him and me hax arrived at a _understanding. He is simply | reminding me to come across with what's usual.” He denosited within the cage a double handful of shelled peanuts and_scratched the head of the per! And voure going to stay here just as long as you can spare the time." “Hurry up and decide on that ehicken.” urged the houxewife “Well, if it ain’t going to be no apecial put-out.” confessed Mr. Towle, “1'd relish the dumpling way of cook- ing it.” * % % % HAT was the first stage of Mr. Towle's surrender. He made the best struggle he could, but he had t to admit the validity of Mr. Purvis' ' reasoning when that gentleman said that Mr. Towle's reputation as a horseman wasn't of much real value unless he had some horses to go with it. In the meantime the animal show was ready at hand. Mr. Towle could not stir up much of any feeling about tbose animals except @isgust and fear. He listened sourly while Mr. Purvis expatiated on their characters and traits. The selectman said that he had won the affection of the baboons by playing the accordion to them daily. The hig snake dearly loved fiddle music, Mr. Purvis stated, and so did the monkevs and the woolly Wwizzen- warries. “Rut_that dilbo bird is a grouch.” complained the trainer. “He tries to peck my thumb out every time I offer him something nice to eat. He don't relish any kind of music. He simply stands there on one lex and hates the whole world. I want t advertise our show as ‘Afri Happy Famiiy,' but that name won't fit, with that dilbo bird making up that mug at everybady who passes alonz. He ain't much of a feature, anyway. | guess I'll wring his neck and be shet of him™ Mr. Horace P. Towle had consid- erable natural perversity and was generally inclined to applaud what other folks condemned. Further- dilho bird. The bird offered no violence | urd began to peck at the peanuts. ““Are you going to have him do that at the fairs?" inquired Mr. Purvis with mich interest. Of conrse! You have been houting and casung slurs on my bird. Why. an, he'll draw more people than ali the rest of your menageric. He'll be talked about. He'll be put into the pepers. He's the only dancing dilbo bird in the whole world. And whilst we're making money with him. I can be telling ‘Llewellyn Sturnell' to ‘dance, timwhelt your jeeroosly soul—dance!’ ** He shook his fist in the air and shouted the last words. And Mr. Towle remained entirely absorbed in his protege. He tinkered with the sheet-iron platform and made a curtain which concealed the lamp- flame as a terpsichorean adjunct. The proverbial ill wind blew their way to their advantage. A Holy Roller evangelist was unwise enough to come to Etna Gore and set up tent. Aft- er a week of effort he back-slid. “Then maybe that tent is for sale,” suggested Mr. Purvis. “It is, and for less than half what When he walked through “horse square.,” he was hailed by Mr. S. , Tockgtt, owner of Marie P. Mr Tockett had slipped to Mr. Sturnell the sum of $15 that morning, rather than have a certain spavin canvassed overmuch by the S. P. C. A. authori- ties. and his tone was sardonic and his manner offensive. 1 jext saw ye up there in a tent a little spell ago. | dancing and rollicking all so gay.” “How did they ever happen to let| you out of the insane hospital long enough to come 1o this fair? I haven't been dancing in no tent, and you know it H “Well, old Horace I Towle sets there and says it's you, and he ought to know ye. seeing the length of time you and him was partners.” Mr. Sturnell turned in disgust from what, according to his full belief, was a raving lunatic. “There's more truth than poetry in what Tock is saying” advised an- other horseman. “IUs that tent whege the banner says ‘Afriky's Happy Family. Old Horace is there. You'd better 100k in on him.” “If there's anybody in that tent try- ing to give me the skvdingo,” blazed Mr. Sturnell, “that fam'ly won't be 50 condemned happy in about five min- utes.” He puffed reached the was welling tickets out his chest when h tent where Mr. Purvis Mr. Purvis blink- ed at the badge thus thrust close to his nose. “What's the idea” he in- guired. | Special agent—S. P. C. A, I'm in-} spe ng.” \r. Purvis was not impressed. He kept on making change. Mr. Sturnell started for t entrance. Mr. Purvis grabbed hi the collar. “The show | costs you P But this badge is ou may know what it Is—I'll tell you what it ain’t. It ain’t good at the door, here. Kindly step back and let| the people pass.” i The rush of patrons had given Mr. Purvis the assurance which presperity | le Mr. Sturnell found that he w. making an exhibition of himself be- fore a crowd. He sourly pald his money and went insi nuttering I The enormous snake, the baboons, the monkeys, th hbed his at- tention in quick sion. He would have lingered. But he heard the sound of a fiddle. and he also heard @ voice squealing his own name. He stood on tiptoe and peered| over the heads of the crowd. There €at the hateful Horace P Towle, saw- ing ca d_squalling commands ! to a fro! fowl that he addre: as “Llewellyn Sturnell. He wa telling this “Llewellyn Sturnell” to it cost me. When I get done with eaything, I get good and dore with “Having a tent that's been used like that,” remarked Mr. l'urvis to Mr. Towle after the trade had been consummated, “certainly does give a high, moral touch to our show." By the time they had their tent set up at the Levant fair, Mr Towle seemed to be entirely reconcilzd; he was very cheerful when he and Mr. Purvis had set the last cage in place. “I knew you'd come into vour right senses at last, Hod, declared Mr. Purvis, delightedly. “Let's open up! We want to get the news about the Dancing Dilbo Bird circulating over these grounds just as quick as we can. From mouth to mouth we shali make the glad news fly!" “dance. gol-ring your jeebusted has- | let, danc At last I've got ye whe: 1 want ye. Liewellyn Sturnell!” Dance Mr Sturnell forced passage for him- self. In his fury he jumped up and down in front of Mr Towle, but he was able to make only inarticulate sounds. It T hear you call that dattycoot | by my name again—- I Mr Towle ceased fiddling. “Now you can rest a little while, ‘Llewellyn Sturnell,; and have a social chat with | this gent who has kindly called on you." He gave the dilbo bird some *helled peanuts and offered Mr. Stur-| nell some of the same comestible. But that frantic person banged his fist on the badge. “I'm an_officer of the law. and 1 have got the power. 1 arrest you."| The news flew. It was not because more, the demeanor of the dilbo bird | the performance of the dilbo bird was expressed Mr. Towle's secret feel- ngs and attitude toward the rest of humanity in those desolate days of down-and-out. And if the dilbo bird really felt the way he looked, then Mr. Towle entertained friendly sym- pathy. “I'll admit. €y, that T haven't took any intercst in them critters, and ecially wonderful; but the fact that old Horace P. Towle, known as a driver and owner of every railbird in the country, had come to the fuir with some kind of a dancing doo- dangus that he had named “Llewslivn Sturnell,” after his late partner, and was making the bird hop aroynd ta tie music of “There'll Be « Hot Tim “What for?" sing my name in public to siander me." “‘Well, 1 suppose you have got to keep on learning whilst you're liv- ing,” said Mr. Towle. He laid down the fiddle, pulled his foot out of the lcather loop attached to the concealed lamp and stood up. “Llewellyn Stur- nell. Esquire. come along and arrest. 1 shall hit you on the same place 2 !blr:l to dance all natural Jany better. {make you @ better go-between. That's I'm going to try. In the meantime. I'll name one of them baboons Omel Stimpson and the other Dan’el Ward, after that bail commissioner. and we'll go along with the show as best we can.” There was nothing to complain of in the way of patronage. That show had been well advertised. Mr. Towle | =ot up a lecture on “Llewellyn Stur-| nell” that in itself was worth twenty- five cents of any man's money. And the human Llewellyn Sturnell, dog- gedly sticking to his job of protect- ing the dilbo bird, circled the tent and growled and ground his teeth and could not think of any way to stop Mr. Towlc's mouth. The next week they opened their show and Mr. Towle opened his mouth at the Smyrna fair. Mr. Sturnell met ' psen down in the beech grove | a report. i “The best I've been able to do is ‘leven dollars, and I nigh had to: hnock down three old wizzenpoofs to get even that,” he raged. *Old Hor-| ace P. Towle is goofing me with that mouth of his. I tell ye! They ain't afraid of me. They begin to grin and giggle when they see me coming. And a badge hasn't got no terrors when they're laughing at the man who is wearing it.” “Sturnell. 1 devised that scheme and plcked you for the job because you | haven't any brains. ~But. vou infer- nal fool, 1 didn't realize that your| crookedness would make a boomecr- ang out of vou. However. I've got ou on my hands’ and T'li have to keep on using vou. I suppose.” “Try to dump me and see what will happen.” threatened the intractable special agent. “I want vou to give me that badge. You can't wear it on the job I've planned. T have found out ihat the horsemen of the sporting ¢lement are going to have a cocking-main next week at the Lebanon fair. I propose to have you join a rooster there voursell, names and—well. to give then we'll see What do 1 get out of it | “That will depend om how success- ful you are in making the offenders appreciate my leniency. “You must carrv an ordinary barn- vard fowl, just as if vou didn't know They won't allow fight such a fowi against game-bird: Therefore vou'!l not be incriminate along with the others. That 1 all. Now give me that badge. Mr. Sturnell gloomily surrendered | the emblem of authority, and Mr. Stimpson walked away. * ¥ % ¥ SHERE was no special scerecy in “horsc square” at Lebanon fair about the “hen-fight” The horsemen | talked about it freely, depending on the masonry of their guild. It was to be pulled off in the evening in the feed-barn. At Lebanon Mr. Towle found him- self in a dubious state of mind. and he exposed some of his emotions to Mr. Purvis. “My mind was all easy so long as Lell Sturnell was in sight, hounding it around our tent and growling. But now he is keeping away, I'm getting worried. Jest be- fore dusk I saw him ha'nting around the poultry-sheds. He has prob'ly gone into the hen-stealing business, seeing that he hasn't got the coutage to be a murderer, though he was born one. 1 may be able to ketch him stealing hens, and then I'll have him in jail and know where he is. I'm go- | ing to snoop around a little.” Mr. Purvis protested, but *his part- ner was obsessed by his apprehension | of the danger unseen. He insistcd that he proposed to locate his cnemy. if_possible. After he had sleuthed around the avenues of the fairgrounds over to a valet that took us to a foom where we was to dress for the e. During this incidents I and Grant realized that people that lives in the White House has got a servant problem like everybody else. T problem there is how to get the valet out of the room while you dress and neither of us were able to solve it. Further and more, we had broughten |white pants to match the house where we was visiting and mine had just came back from cleaners and Wwas daring to say the lease. * k¥ % bfl all and all I was blushing furi- the telephone and the manicufe ously when we joined the President #al asked me where did I come from |again and was introduced to Mrs. Aol says N. Y. and she says she |Fletcher the under secy. of state who would hate to live in X. but | was going to make the 4th. man Wouldn't mind working there if she |though neither Mr. Rice or myself is could 'have a home at Newark oriuse to playing with underlings. The Brighton and she asked me when I(4 of us stood on the front porch got in and when 1 was going back |wile a couple photographers took our Snd finely what was I doing in Wash- | picture which I am afraid mine will fngton and I says 1 comc to get a|be very risque. manicure. Well we all got in a car and was “You are a great kidder,” she says, | wisked-away and the President talked “IT$ VS. THE RUL FOR MR. JARVIS TO LAUGH.” ignorance of same. After a wile T! visited a barber shop wile Grant was trying to get a Lold of Mr. Christian Dicks Washington. Fish of the same varie-| [UE" (TR water” gar, needlefish ties are often called by different names | and billfish. The gars are regular and, while the list of fish families and | spring visitors and go a5 high up the i Ther as the Aqueduct bridge. They fish varicties is long, the list of fish | iger that far enough from the names is longer. Nobody ought !0 gea and are not often caught above blame the fish for this, but a good|the bridge. % deal of confusion results. In addition| The basses and sunfishes include the strawberry bass, strawberry perch, to their plain local names, the fish have | o ;1 pie calico bass and speckied perch, scientific names composed of from one bream and redbreast: the rock perch, to half a dozen Greek words, and only | tobacco box, long-eared sunfish and ienti: 5 | bass. red-eved perch, goggle eye, war- the fish scientists know our finny friends mouth, blue spotted sunfish and little by those names. The common names sunfish. Some of the local names for are interesting in many cases. the large-mouth black bass -rejennl». “nei v i . Oswego bass, green bass, trout, jump- The “neighborhood of Washington.”| . -%0q"welshman and the sea bass is acconding to fish scientists, includes the | 62110g striped bass, rockfish and rock. Potomac river from Occoquan to Great | Some of the perches are called yellow Falls and the creeks which flow into D:PC:. Vfillow Nred'; rllnsed l;t;‘rchhvhr:,!: ot perch, ver perch, log perch an - the great river between those POINS. | ioiy. and the darters are the shield- The crecks that come to the Potomac|ed darted. Johnny darter and tesse- from Maryland and the District nreill;ehd dn{l;r.h o b sl : e pigfish seems also to be calle Mattawoman, Accokeek, Piscataway, | h€, PIEES SEUNS D10 10y T suthed Swan, Broad, Oxon, Piney, Foundry and | grunt. There are two species of drum- Cabin John. The Eastern branch, of |fish, one called the pot and gooby course, is included and the important | and the other the kingfish. whiting or i iver. T Seamink. The sculpin is variously ‘;‘X’i';:' that join that river. They are|SEhminic The, RCUDL " uich mat Northwest, Paint, Little Paint|fe.jaw and bull head. There are two and Beaver Dam. The Virginia creeks | soles. the American sole and the hog ¢ the Washington neighborhood, and | choker. found in the Eastern branch, you 10} good. 5o \WELL it seems Mr. Christian had asked 1 and Grant to lunch with the President and Mrs. Harding and Grant had said yes without even ask- ing them what they was going tou have, 0 we got our suitcases and shop feeling pre * for some time, Mr. Towle was thrilled by the joy of a discovery. Mr. Stur- nell passed across the radiance that was shed by a polelight. Mr. Towle, in shadows, was not perceived by the foe. The latter was lugging in one hand a sack that sagged heavily. In the darkness Mr. Towle was able to golf bags and went out to where the taxi cabs are and the starter says: “To the station?” No, to the White House.” says Grant and 1 shoved the'gwo bits back in my pocket figuring we had give him enough of a thriil! Well we was wisaed Lo tie oflice 2 % f “I VISITED THE BARBER SHOP WILE GRANT WAS TRYING TO GET AHOLD OF Mib CHRIBTIANS No doubt there are other minnows | whose names have been omitted here. | 50 all in all T come out of the barber |about this in that and says he uup-ls""" ot the suckers kre rtheicary suck | ucker. which are classed as fish creeks, are | Little river, Four-Mile run and are Pohick, Accotink. Dogue, Little Hunt- | ing, Hunting, Cameron (including Back Lick run and Holmes run), Four-Mile | run, Roaches run, Gravelly run, Little, Aver, Pimmitt run and Difficuit run. The Chesapeake and Ohio canal and the | Rovernment reservoirs are classed as fwaters of the neighborhood of Wash- ington.” The east boundary of the Washington neighborhood is the I’atux- ent river from Nottingham norta to about Laurel and ity principal branches. Western, Collington and Mattaponi. To most persons. unless they hap- pen_to bo enthusiastic fishermen, | Catfish is a catfish. Vet there are five species of catfich with twelve names in the waters of the Washington neighbothood. There is the rare Spotted catfish, which is also called {he blue catfish. There is the channel Ccatfish, also called the white catnsh. | There is the mud catfish, also known | as the yellow catfish, the bullhead and the hormed poul. There 18 the Doiton catfish, which s very popu-| Paviy called the mad tom. He i3 & viclous fellow und has inflicted pain- | ful wounds by stabbing men with hia pectoral spines. Last, there is the Pone catfish, also calied the vellow catfish. * ¥ ¥ Take the minnows as an exampte of the number of varieties and the v oty of names. Among these names | are smelt. silver minnow. smelt min- Tow, fall fish, chub, dace, horned dave. | silver chub, lons-mouthed minnow roach, sunfish, bitterhead, shiner, bream. spuwn-eater, silver fin, satin fin, lace fin, red fin. black-nosed dace, brook minnow, horny head, Erass chub, river chub, Indian chub, jerker, mud minnow. killifish, pike minnow. mummichog, Sheepshead minnow and variegated minnow. er. quillback sucker, white sucker. fine-scaled mullet. bay mare, stone toter, chub, chub sucker.: creek fish, creek sucker. muliet. red mullet and redhorse mullet. Among native shads and herrings is the giz- zard shad, variouslv called the Vi posed we had noticed in the White House that he had to get in the ele- \ator ahead of the Mrs. and o through doors 1st. and etc. and it was a rule that the President always has to do eve-Vthing 1st. and he | wished it was d'fferent as it made him feel uncomfortable. Well, out|®inia shad, mud shad. hickory sha on the golf course. they forget this|and winter shad. There are also the; rule and go according to the golf | hickory jack, tailor. freshwater tailor. fall herring, tailor herring and the mattawacca, And if vou were a fish- erman of studious habits and keen ob- servation you would prebably know the difference between the plain her- ring, the branch "herring, the blear- A eyed herring. the river herring. the Tiue was another thing thut upsct slewife, the xlut herring and the sum- irules, and | guess he ways feels pretty there. “They's a nica course here in town now,” he sa: But I guess we'll go over in Maryiand and play Chevy & A generally al- comfortable out . | and Barton A. Bean of common in spring at the fishing shores below Washington. e * The first list of fishes known to in- habit the waters of the District and the neighborhood of Washington, wi prepared in 1898 by Hugh M. Smith the United States fish commission. In a bulletin issued in that year, and from which the foregoing fish names were taken the authors say that “the District fish fauna as at present known (1595) ecomprises eighty-one species belong- ing to l'lll)":lu'o genera and thirty- one families.” They point out that the { local fauna has been enriched by the introduction of nom-indigenous spe- ies, some of which are now among | the best food and game fishes of the region. The acclimatized species num- ber about ten and are mostly mem- bers of the bass family. About thirty spegies of the local fish fauna are of economic importance, being principal- Iy shad, hickory shad. alewives, strip- «d bass, better known locally as rock fish or “rock”; white emh, the black budses, yellow perch, sturgeon, octs, suckers, carp and catfish. In this builetin it is said that an interesting feature of the fish fauna of the District is the regular or occa- sional appearance in our waters of typical salt-water fish, usually of- served in dry weather when there is an upstream extension of the zone of brackish water. which is normally about forty miles below Washington. Requiem sharks occasionally have been observed between Fort Wash- ington and Alexandria, and one, five fuet long. was taken at Glymont in 1894. It is remarked that x number of sharks have been caught at Gly- mont in sturgeon nets. In the early eighties there was a famous fisher. man whose name {5 f-.. -lown in the bulletin as Col. Marshall McDonald. He is reported as having caught many specimens of fish at Gunston Hall and presumably he lived on Masons Neck. The bulletin credits him with catching & pigfish, which is a straggler from salt water; a king- fish, whiting or sea mink, an ungel fish, sometimes called moonfish and spade fish; a goble and a toadfis sometimes ocalled a scorpion, and th oyster fish. Another fish to the credit of Col. McDe soa robia aisv called the guins.*” *