Evening Star Newspaper, April 3, 1921, Page 66

THE IVORY SAMPA € Alice Molony to the famous Chinese Man of Mystery, as she met him one aft- wrnoon at Lady Cockrill's tea, “do come and sit right down here and tell us some more abeut those strange superstitions of the natives. You know it's all well enough to read about them in the guidebooks, etc., but they never seem half as real as when we hear somebody describe them, especially one who knows them as well as you do.” ‘Wang Foo, with his usual courtesy, at once acceded to the young lady's request and, joining the little circle in the palm room, began with, “Let me see, where did 1 leave off the other evening? Oh, yes, 1 remember now, we were on the subject of dem- ons and 1 had just started to describe the ‘well-demon,’ when we were all mmoned iuto the drawing room to listen to the pianist from Moscow, were we not? “Yes, exactly so.” Alice, “and I want to go to that little demon unt. safely out of the wel “Ah!” smiled Wang Foo, “if you can set him safely out of all the wells of China, where they think he resides, you will be doing a magnificent work for civilization, but I am afraid that will take years and vears of slow and patient scientific teaching.” Then he went on to describe the na- tive idea of the well-demon and to ex- plain that it was simply an accumula- tion of carbonic acid gas that suffo- cated those who went down into the wells to clean them, and which was interpreted by the simple-minded peo- ple to be the wrath of the demon. who. resenting their intruding into his domain, seized them by the throat and choked them to death! “But why don’t the missionaries or soma one explein this to them?" in- nacently asked one of Miss Molony frisnds. “that surely is a part of tne enlichtment of China.” “Thev dn In every wav they can. T have a cony in my home now of a most useful little tract entitled ‘The Truth About the Well-Demon' that has been circulated by thousands all over the country. And that reminds me of an interesting and rather amusing experience that one of our Chinese stndents had who tried to explain this matter to the old pa- triarch of his village. He concluded by warning him never to attempt to descend into a well—or allow any of his familv or friends to do so— until he had first lowered down a lighted candle and seen whether it burned freely or was extinguished by the gas. Well. at the end of a few days he met his old friend again. and when he asked him if he had had any chance to test the presence of the well-demon, he replied. in a somewhat resentful tone, ‘Yes. and like most of yolghfnrelgn theories it won't apply to China.’ ) “'Did you lower down the lighted eandle. as T advised you? “'Yes. and the well-demon was €0 angry at this_foreign interference that he grabbed the candle and ble it out before it got to the bottom! “T wonder if they think we hav any demons of this domestic kind asked Miss Alice. “I so often wish that I onty understood enough of their language to ask them about this and & thousand other things. “Oh! Yes. they think we have a choice collection of household gemons that we :dleve in Jjusi as implicitly they do.” ""Wh; the very idea! Do Q"ell us of one. Mr. Wang. please—- “Well. there’ i pantries or the name of o Have you ever heard of him? “Never. “Why. that's what the Chinese servants call the lactometer, and they falkc_abont it every time they see 01 er use it.” e a ever! That only shows how little we dream of what is beine said right around us all the time. “Yes, they call it the ‘milk-demo and T've heard them describe it in the teahouses and ten of ifts having 7% g -Targe. Tound. head and a lons. sil- *“wet' tafl. And’ Whén® mer Suspects that-his replied Miss ght back we get him de ¢ignd down in the milk and then ‘whi ™ the whole secret to his master or mistreys.” 5 .-whu s wonderfol revelation it is to get a glimpse of o < 1see us, but——"" the iady's re- /8 ethers zee u B entrance of Sir Rutherford, who apolr- 4igised for the interruption as he sald. “#*Mr. Wapg. I hate to draw you away “fyom_this. charming circ’e of listeners, isbut 1 am going to ask tho ladies to excuse you for a while, as a cablegram 1g swaiting for you in the office. B o % % NOW. Sir Rutherford Cockril, his 458N gritannic majesty's consul general ¢ Shanghai, was not a man to be easily disturbed by any vague rumors of trou- #741y ‘among the native peoples, at the mmme time, his long residence in India and the Straits had trained him to be anticipate any out- et bud. . S0 it over to his guest. me a few minutes to ‘was_the reply. ‘You one used by yourself and the con- office—in fact, it is one that I drew - | H! Mr. Wang,” said Miss only two that possess the key to it™ ! A eo{npl.r‘boll of the two dispatches| that they were practically identi- cal. The former was from the gov- errze Evington the consul at Shanghai lacking was a “Mrs. O'Donnell” to preside over it all and add that un- speakable charm an to the bungalow life of the east. The royal palace was ready for the princess and it only needed some fairy god- mother to wave her wand, and heart and home would welcome her. And yet here was just the trouble, for with all the material available in the great port of Shanghal, not one of the matrons or dowagers seemed to have been able to play the fairy godmother act successfully. Roland ODonnell, however gracious and yielding he mihgt be to the ladies in everything else, was in this mat- ter a hopeless failure, for he made it perfectly evident that he proposed to either do the fairy Rodmother act himself or else dispense with it altogether. ‘Was it merely the office punkah that the coolie was waving in the air over the chair. the afternoon that Miss Alice Molony submitted to a- little dental torture at the doctor's skillful hands?Or was the gentle “swish-swish- possibly the rustling of the garments of the aforesaid fairy. invisible but very much, present? Who knows? But the fact remains that Roland couldn't stay at home alone that evening, but - P vu e > e “HOW MUTCHIE YOU WANTCHIE FOR THAT LITTLE SECOND-HAND SAM-PAN?” had to while away the hours with the old stand-bys at the club, and it was 50 the next night after. In fact, something had happened to the bun- low. There was a feeling of empti ness and vacancy about it that he had never known before, and who but the fairy and godmother could have been to blame? “I hope you are gfing to stay lul untH June, Miss Shanghal at least Molony,” he remarked, as they walked together in the consular garden a few days later, “the roses are wonderful here then, and you said you were so fond of flowers. " “Yes, I am, and I never dreamed that St tiful here; 3 s are real gardeners’ paradises. 1 feel that I gv)ddur:t stay here forever’—ibe last. words slipped out so very innocently, that’ she couldn’t realize at all what they meant to her companion—“but ales, We are going over to Japan just two weeks from todsy, for uncle and auntie (she was traveMng as their favorite niece) are set upon being in Kyoto before the close of the cherry dance. and that, I suppose, means evmnr -bye ‘to dear old Shanghai for- But although uncle and sctually get 1o the therry Ammes cg Miss Alice was there to enjoy it with them. she did not bid good-bye to Shanghal foraver, and the reason therefor unfolds an’ interesting tale. in which her path and that of Green Leopard and Wang Foo and the police became most curiously interlaced. It all came about through the very innocent purchase of a curio at the ancient shop of Cheap Jim (as the Europeans all called him) by the Nan- king bridge. Miss Molony was jusi stepping out of her jinrikisha at the door of Jim's establishment, when who ehould arrive upon the scene a the identical moment but our 8OO friend Dr. O’'Donnell, on his way back from the tiffin-room at the club. ‘Ah! Fascinated by the ‘Old Curios. coolle to'put down the shafts, he isned to amsist her in ailghting. ur visitors to Sh: 11 vietims to it~ i es, although his whole shop does look like what my old New England grandmamma called a rat's nest, he certainly does have the most won- derful collection of them all” she replied. | 3 “Now, I don't wish to seem intrudin; at all, Miss Molony. venturcd. the doctor. “but he is really such a fear- ful old Shylock in his prices to tour- ists that perhaps the presence of a resident might bring him to reason- able terms. May I not have the Ppleasure and honor of assisting you? The gallant offer was, of course, im- mediately and most graciously ac- cepted by the fair visitor, and they end | 3Dent a delightful hour in wander- T who, | inE_through the mazes of Jim's rat's ploits in detecting_crime helpful to the authorities, was now in Shanghai, it would be Wise to ask his was to =‘.m Foo direct, hoping that hs would be able to co-operate with the English police and secure what aid he could from the native authoritics. “Well,” said the consul. after he had propristo yead the translation of the other code. “f hope you are going to stay in the mettlement long enough for us all to work together on this matter, Mr. Wang, are you not”” 'Why, to t - st ut leaving for a B At my old friend the Tao Tai of Ching Kiang, but the cause of justice bids me postpone it for awhile—so, Sir Rutherford, 1 am yours at comman . * % x % 2 Dr. Roland O'Donnell should not have been the happiest and most con- tented young man in the port. He was not only the most popular dentist in the community, with a professional practice that drew in a munificent annual income and made it necessary for him to make ap- pointments long in advance. but he was an all-round “jolly good fellow." played, he sang. he rode in the amateur races, he pulled bow oar in the Bhanghai eights and he belonged to the oldest and most aristocratic clubs in the settlement. He had built for himself a delightful little bungalow on the fashionable Bub- bling Well road and drove in and out from his office ever: in the smartest of dogecarts. We 1% “re Wwas no reason why he shou ‘t have been the happiest man in the port.” but, of course, We are speaking from the standpoint of the cold. seifish and unsentimental masculine mind, and 50 we may as well acknowledge frankly. right at the outset, that the ams thing io the warld was ¥ 1 i i i | ol you the truth, T was!B5e¢e” ¢t up the | Pk ERE was really no reason why |* nest together. While her purchases were limited to a set of lacquer bowls. a sandalweod fan and a tiny bronze bell, the one thing that evi- dently charmed her more than all little model of a sampan (rowboat) carved out of spotless ivory. “Don’t let him see you admire it was the doctor's warning, “or the price will immediately rise! Just let me approach him casually while you are looking at those vases over there. Jim!” he said, addressing the native “how muchee you want- chee for that little second-hand sam: pan?" le velly solly, but dat sampan no can sellee. B'longee one piece my fliend hab putee dis side makee look ‘was the somewhat regretful re- ‘Nonsense, Jim, don't talkee that stuff to me. Suppose me wantchee buy, you can talkee me ploper plice,” said the doctor, quite proud of his fluent pidgin English. “Velly solly! No can, no can stoical and unchanging reply. 11 light, all light, suppose lady makee go, me come back talkee you by and by. < That evening a little parcel was handed to Miss Molony by her ahma (maid) at the hotel and, when she opened it, there to her surprise and delight was the ivory sampan from Cheap Jim's and & card with the was ghai. Shan the magic power of the almighty ar had evidently triumphed again the refusal of Jim and his So doll * ok ok % IN THE upper room of the basket- maker’'s shop, where Wang ¥oo al- ways made his home in Shanghal, the Map of Mysiery wes wrapt in the deepest thought. He had been spin- ning the web of evidence for several days and now he seemed to be draw- ing near to the center and waiting for the entanglement of Green Leopard. He was relying not only upon the robber’s superstition—for he knew he could always successfully call that into play—but upon something which the white man little realizes that the Asiatic possesses, and tbat is a con- science. Was Green Leopard in con- cealment in Shanghai? He concluded it very likely that he was, for the eastern criminal, like his brother of the west, drifts almost .naturally to the largest centers of population and always feels that he can hide himself fnuch mare securely, there than ‘in the smaller towns or villages. And then, besides, strange and paradoxi- cal as it may seem to good and law- abiding people, crime loves company, yes, just as much as misery does. Now, Inspector McArthur of the po- lice recognized this fact full well and therefore he had cabled to Hong- kong for photographs and description of Green Leopard and had them in his office to show to Wang Foo, when they met there that very morning. “Sorry we haven't been able to get ividual picture of hom, Mr. g, remarked the chief, “but here is an excellent likeness of him taken in the bank group last year that ought to help us. See! That's the fel- lo: the second in the middle row, sitting right behind the English man- ager.” “Ah! Yes, I believe I should have picked him out, even if you hadn’t told me,” replied Wang Foo, as he. drew out from his sleeve his little magnifying glass and, stepping up to the window, examined the photo- graph carefully in the stronger light. “And why would you have picked him out of the rest?” inquired the inspec- tor, somewhat curious to know the Chinese ideas of detection. “Now, I should have said it was much more likely to be that tall, slim chap with the bad eyes, on the end of the back row there—— “Oh! No, he’s a8 innocent as a lamb. ‘Why he's only a house-coolie. Can't you see by the very shape of his for- head and the listlems expression on his face that he belongs to a much lower class and hasn't brains enough to even contemplate a robbery of this size? No, no, the best he could do would be to snatch a string or two of brass cash from a fellow coolie.” “But what was it that led you to suspect the fat chap in the second row?" “Well, you see by this glass that he has spots on his face. ~ what it says in the descrip- tion here——" “Yes, and they without doubt dre smallpox scars. " “Right you are again!” interrupted the officer, as he read from the mes- sage in his hands. “And smallpox, at least in the viru- lent form that we know it in China, seldom leaves its victim without some form of mental or moral obliquity. I have questioned our leading mission- ary physicians on this point and they seem to agree with this position en- tirely. So 1 always naturally su pect a spotted-faced man before I do & smooth-faced one. “The Hongkong police say that he is called ‘Leopard’ from spots on his face, 80, of course, that must be a sort of nickname that was given to him after he had the disease and isn't his real name that he had when he was a child. Is that so, Mr. Wang?" “Quite so. You see, a Chinese child has a regular series of names. He has first his ‘milk name' as it is called, which is given to him in infancy; then he has his ‘pupil name,’ which he gets when he goes to school; then his ‘common name,' or nickname as you call it, wich is that by which he is popularly known and is generally descriptive of his personal appear- ance, and then his ‘sign of greatness’ or ‘literary name,’ which is conferred upon him when he gets his degree.” “What a confusion!” exclaimed the inspector. “Why that makes our for- eign system look as simple as ‘A, B, C.’ doesn’t it? Well, the spots on his face account for the ‘Leopard’ part of his name all right, but how about the reen’? I don't recall ever seeing dhe animal of that color in any menagerie or zoo——" “Oh! That doesn't refer to the ani- mal, that refears to the man,” swered Wang Foo with a smile, see that Chinese character ‘Ching.’ which here s called green, may also— #trange as this seems to the Euro- pean mind—mean blue, or, in fact, cerulean or heavenyy, and this § what it means here /For the Chinese are verv auaerstiffius about’ small- ‘ pox and always speagof it by some other name, the popular comment on a patient belng, ‘He is painted with the flowers of Heaven.' “So our friend, the thief hers, ma: be the Cerulean Leopard, as well as the Green Leopard, may he?’ “Yes, or to put it after the of ‘the ancient poets: “‘Ching Yu Yuen Tien, Ching Yu Hsia Esao!” “And what, pray, might that mean, 8ir? I am afraid my rather prosaic mind cannot quite grasp it in the original,” laughed the inspector. “Why, that gimply mean: “‘Blue as the arching heaven, Green as the grass below. ‘The morning’s interview ended with a mutual agreement to have thd pic- ture of Green Leopard reproduced and the description of him given to every foreign and native officer on the force, together with instructions to watch carefully for him at every known rendesvous of bad characters. ‘Wang Foo thought it best fo fall in with all these suggestions of the English police, though as he rode away down the bund in his rinrik- asha he kept repeating to himselt the words: “It is perfectly useles perfectly useless; they will never fin, him that way!” A week passed away and the utter failure of the search proved that he was correct. In the meantime he had been carrying on his own independent line of inquiry and with some very remarkable re- sults. Let us follow him and see what some of these were. First of all, he sought out his old friend, the tao tai, who had just retireq from office and was lving in a native villa on the bank of the river, and took counsel with him as to the probable whereabouts of Green Leopard and the mest likely way to apprehend him. This, of course, in addition to the official re- port and request that had been sent into the native authorities by the consul, and which they both agreed would amount to nothing, because of the simple fact that the reward or “squeege” was considered by the tao tal’s police to be utterly in- adequate. When they were closeted together in the inner apartment of the villa, and when the triple sign of the Sacred Brotherhood had been made by the waving of the lighted incense in the air, Wang Foo began, “He is from Tak Yol (Grand Delight), our own native village in the Canton district You are quite sure of this?” en- quired the tao tal, who seemed rather troubled by this announcement. “Positive, your excellency; here is a letter from our brother, the abbot of the Hongkong Temple of the Queen of Heaven. He feels the disgrace as keenly as we do and begs that we will do all in our power to shield the reputation of the village.” “Does that mean that we are to seize him and give him up, or that ‘Wwe are to assist him to escape “Ah! That is just the question that has troubled me. We are between the two horns of the dilemna, as the Europeans say, we must seek to pro- tect our own and we must avold any participation in_a crime—there lies the problem. But, come what may, our very first duty is to find him. In what direction shall we turn?”’ The tao tal thought for a moment or two and then slowly answered, “It is written in the Book of Fate, is it not, that, ‘Within the half-moon of the commission of a crime the guilty one will seek the interpretation of his dreams from the tellers of for- tunes? We must watch the seer, to whom he would most naturally go.” “And he is——?" anxiously inquired Wang Foo, as he took his little leather notebook out of his sleeve and prepared to make a careful record. ‘“The guardian of the Ivory Sampan at the little shrine back of the seven- story pagod. “And why there?" “Because the Ivory Sampan is the sacred emblem and treasure of our goddess at Tak Yoi, and whenever the children of southern Canton may wander. they will be sure to go there to ease their troubled consciences. *“True! True!” exclaimed the detec- tive, as on the eve of a great discov- ery; ‘how strange I had not thought of that before!” And bidding his ex- cellency. good-bye, he gave him the pledge of secrecy and returned to his waiting sedan chair. * k% % manner a. should he want to go VWHEN Green Leopard arrived in Shanghai with his ill-gotten gains, having come up by a coasting steamer and changed at Foochow to avold suspicion, he naturally decided that the safest thing for him to do was just to go te & large native hotel Sidney C. Pariridge and assume the perfectly innocent air of an ordinary traveler. The stolen money was largely in Bank of England notes and in gold, which he hoped to dispose of in small quantities to the native moneycha: ers and thus avold the danger of be- ing trapped by having on hand a large number of uative bills. He had it securely hidden away in a bundle in the very center of the old hogskin trunk which every Chinese traveler tak: with him. He had, however, passed only two or three nights at the Resting Place of the Golden Phoenix (which was the high-sounding title that the hotel bore) when conscience, mingled with fear and dread, began to do its deadly work, and he awoke from an awful nightmare, trembling and dripping with the very cold and icy sweat of death itself. = For this is what he had seen: Four awful deémon lictors from the court of hades started to seize him as he lay in bed. “To wo men lai! To wo men lal (“You must come with us! You must come with us!") they shrieked. “Tsai na 1i? Tsal na 1i?” (“To what place? To what place?”’) he asked. ‘“Tao ti yok wang va men!" (“To the ya men of the king of hades!”) was their only answer. He begged for mercy, for he knew only too well the horrors of that court, as he had seen them painted on the walls of the Buddhist hells. Their only answer was & mock- ing laugh as they dragged him out through the opening tiles and flew with him through the air and miles away to an open cave, and then down into the dungeons beneath the earth. They came to the edge of the black and slimy river of death and, point- ing to the dark clouds that hung over it, they cried “Kan! Siang yva chw: 1af, shi chwan lai pow tow shi lian!” (“Look! The boat of the ele- phant’s tusks is coming! The death boat is coming to take you to the tor- tures!”) He looked, and there, right before_him, he was horrified to see the white ivery bargs spproaching, with the pale and ghostly rower of death silently plying the oars! Nearer and nearer {t came, until it touched the bank at his feet. Summoning up all bis courage and strength, he made one final effort to escape. “I am guilty! I am guilt he shrieked. ‘Spare me and I will pay the tribute in the finest gol “Thou canst mot bring here the money on earth,” said the boatman of the Ivory Sampan. “Where then shall I pay it7" “At the Shrine of Our Guardian by the Seven-Story Pagoda. Swear by thy life that thou wilt pay it, or the beat bears thee now to thy doom!” “I swear! I swear!” he cried, and awoke to find it all a dream! He waited.a few days before making the promised visit and then, having exchanged a dozen sovereigns for the native coin, he sauntered out toward the end of the settlement and, calling & Jinrikisha, ordered the coolie ¢ to take him to the “Shi Low Tah" or ‘Seven-story Pagoda.” Dismissing the conveyance at the entrance to the tower, he walked to and fro a little while until the coolie was out of sight, and then sneaked around by a little bomboo-lined path to the shrine at the rear. Alas for him, the little gate was lccked and the old priest was away! There was not a soll there but a crippled fortune-teller in a little mat shed by the roadside. He hobbled out on his crutches and. bowing most courteously, said: ‘The august and venerable guest must be worry and thirsty, his unworthy servant begs him to tarry a moment and he will prepare the tea and pipes.” Dragging out a little bamboo stool from his shed, he bade the honorable guest be seated while he attended to the mak- ing ‘of the tea.' “Let me pass behind you,” he said; “I am unworthy that gdow should darken your vis: age,” and, suiting.the action to the word, the cripple crawled behind the visitor. It was but the work of an instant for him to raise his crutch into the air and bring it down like & flash on_ the head of the honorable guest, who, stunned by the blow, fell backward into the mat shed. It was the work of only another instant for the suddenly transferred cripple to produce a pair of handcuffs and slip them onto the honorable wrists, for the redoubtable Green Leopard ‘was now a prisoner in the hands of Wang Foo, who, disguised 05 the fortune- ,_had . been patie; i aaiien P 'ntly awaiting “How shall we protect our village and our countryman, and at the same time secure the ends of justice?” asked the tai-tai of Wang Foo. when he heard from him the story of the capture. “T have thought all that carefally over,” answered Wang Foo, “and I have decided that our proper pro- cedure {s, first, to see that the police here ship him promptly back to Hong- kong. Then, when we have him once safely there, we can fall back upon the old contract which the bank always makes with the compradore. that, in case of any dishonesty, he will make it good and guarantee the punishment of the criminal. This will enable us to keep him out of the English jail and .save us from an everlasting disgrace. Then we will have the compradore send him back to his own father's house in the country as a servant, and the old man will see to it that he atones by hard labor for his most unfilial con- duct.” “Hao Siang! Hao Siang; Shuin Sien Jin Tsz Tao!" (“Well thought out! Well thought out! It follows the doctrine of the Sages!”), replied his excellency, “but the stolen money, that, of course, must be returned?”’ “Eyvery dollar of it must be made good to the bank. Fortunately, he has spent as vet but very little of it. and most of it is still'in the trunk. When Inspector McArthur heard Wang Foo had actually captured the mobber, he hastened to congratulate him, remarking as he did so, “You didn’t seem to have much faith in our search for him, Mr. Wang, now, did you?”" ‘Well,” answered the detective with a smile, “this was a little different kind of criminal from the ones that your men are accustomed to*look for. While I really didn’t have much idea that you would locate him, still, it kept the department busy for a week or two, and that enabled me to con- duct my own search in a quiet and unobtrusive way, which is what I al- “No, T will leave that little trans- portation matter to you. Just send him down in charge of two trusty officers; keep a sharp lookout that he doesn’t’ jump overboard or commit suicide in some other way, and I will 80 down a few days ahead and make arrangements with the authorities there to handle the case on arrival *“You certainly have made a triple saving of it, this time, Mr. Wang, if T may say so, you have saved the man, you have saved the money. and ¥nu have saved the compradore's ace.” “Well, you say in England, “there is always luck in odd numbers’—per- | haps this is @ case in point.” smiled the man of mystery as he bade the inspector good morning. * % %k % “hIR. ‘WANG,” said Dr. O'Donnell to his Chinese friend, as he sipped a cup of tea with him at the consulate just before his return to Hongkong. “I wonder if you could drop around to my office after business hours this afternoon, I want to consult you on & matter of very great importance to me—and to others.” “Delighted to serve you and your friends in any way whatever, doc- tor,” was the ever-courteous reply. When they met there late that day the doctor opened his private desk and took out a letter in a lady's handwriting, and. handing it to ‘Wang Foo, said, “Mr. Wang, you are our greatest solver of mysteries; please try your skill on that” The letter read as follows: Dear Dr. O'Donnell: It gives very great pain to have to return to you the little gift that you sent me, but my feelings have been 8o worked up over it that I cannot feel happy Wwith it in my poesession. Although I do not forém moment imagine that you realized what it meant when you sent it, yet from what I know now, it would only tempt me to have unkind thoughts towards Jyou—and that [ maust never be. A dear Chinese lady explained it all to me the evening that I sailed, but I did not have the heart to allude to it when you saw us off at the dock. If no one has told you before, then I must do so nowss The Ivory Sampan is _the Chinese emblem of the Death Boat that carries departed souls over the River of Hades and to make a friend a gift of one is equivalent to ex- pressing the wish that they may soon depart out of life! I do not feel that I can accept from you— though it come in all innocence and with the best wishes in the world— anything that might bear such an interpretation as that. Very sincere- ly yours, CE MOLON The great detective smiled, and, looking up at the doctor sald, “Well, what she says about the sampan is absolutely true! Did you send her an ivory carving of this kind? “Never in my life! I remember th® one day we were looking at some curios in Cheap Jim's shop, and she happened to greatly admire an ivory boat that he had there, but when I tried to bargain with him for it, he wouldn't sell it at any price; said it belonged to a friend of his who had put it there on ex- hibition, and yet the very next day it was gone and he positively refused to say where it went." “And vou didn’'t send anything at fiss Molony? Think just a ’hy, yes.” acknowledged the blushing young doctor, “T sent her a ! box of American beauty roses. “And = didn't she acknowledge them?" “She most surely did. is_her note right here.” Wang Foo unfolded the paper and read: *‘My Dear Dr. O'Donnell: “‘How very sweet and thoughtful in you to remember me in this charm- ing way. 1 thank you more than I can tell you. The gift itself may fade, but the memory of the spirit that prompted it will long abide with “Yours very sincerely. “*ALICE MOLONY.’ “It doesn't specify just what the was— *No. Now that I come to think of it, that's true. But ivory fades, doesn’t it, as well as roses?” “Yes, the note is ambiguous. The solution is absolutely simple—in fact, so simple that I almost hesitate to mention it—the room boy at the hotel is the culprit. He accidentally ex- changed the packages, delivering your roses to another lady and the ivory sampan to Miss Molony.” See! Here “But how about the cards which were inclosed?” “That is equally simple. He, of course. opened both packages out of curiosity, and In replacing the cards just got them exchanged.” “Mr. Wang,” exclaimed the doctor, so0 excited that he hardly knew what he said, “you dine with me tonight at the bu low, but, in the meantime, that old pony of mine can’t get us to the telegraph office quickly enough.” The message went flishing under the ocean to Japan: “All a mistake. Packages exchanged by hotel boy. 1 sent you a box of roses, not the sampan. Shall I join you at the cherry dance and expl in person? ROLA! The answer that came flashing back was brief, but very sufficient. It was just two words: “Come! Cats ALICE” (Copyright, 1921.) — THE SIMPLE DINING ROOM The Less Complex it Is, the Better It Is. The more completely & dining room is furnished simply for the require: ments of a place in which to take meals and the more strictly it is kept simply for that use, the sim- pler will be the tasks of housekeep- ing and_the better the form of the dining room. There is & curious tendency on the part of some people to gravitate toward their dining room at all times of day. Now, Wwhere one is necessarily limited as to rm?t..asm wee apartment or small cottage, :th.il sometimes necessary to combine dining room and living room, or even dining room and kitchen; but where this is not necessary, then the dinlh‘l‘ room ought to be kept from the clut- tering accessories of a living rom:z. Yet there are people who have ample living_rooms who prefer to gather around the dining table in the even- ing, do their letter writing there and take naps on a lounge in ti dining room than anywhere else. Pe:- haps that is because the light in the dining room is better or because the room is furnished more che‘e':'- fully. The answer is to furnish "e other rooms more cheerfully and to supply them with a better light. = Because these cluttered dining rooms are at best untidy they an the clutter are not conducive to & keen appetite, Moreover, if you in your dining room between meais, then the atmosphere there will not pave the clear, fresh quality that it should at meal time. The air will be vitiated. When you go into a nouse where the dining room, cven though very small and inexpensively furnished, is kept simply for a room in which to take meals, you are at once struck with the thought that the ‘persons in that house are orderly dnd well bred. But where you g0 to & house where on the dining room buffet is kept a bottle of ink, a pen and a box of note paper; Where a row of unsightly flower pots filled ith anemic geran :li‘l:“ for existence embellishes ti sunny window, and the pet dog takes his siesta on the lounge near the radfator or fireplace, and the house- wife's mending basket, spilling over with a goodly harvest of cklngbs, shares the honors with a jaded rub- ber plant and a chafing dish on a cor- ner tea table—well, then you men- tally make a note that these people are just a little second-rate. or else that they haven't quite solved the problem of living to the best advan- tage. The present mode is one of extreme tween me;l‘a ;he ta.!‘ngl ave possibly for a :erple‘l’e and a vase of flowers or pot of ferns. Chairs are usually neatly drawn up to the table in the position they take at meals, with the extra ones standing against the wall at regular intervals. The buffet does not carry a variety of accessories— mustard bottles, table crumbers, salt dishes, etc. It may have a few sim- ple objects, such as a filled fruit dish or a silver tea set, but in the most fastidiously equipped houses it is now considered in best form to have noth- ing of an edible nature—salt, pepper on cruets—in sight between meals. The wall of the dining room is not regarded as the appropriate place for a Gollection of pictures—least of all framed photographs. In fine old homes of England it has long ‘been the custom to place on the dining room wall a few stately, richly col~ ored portraits, sometimes empaneled in the wainscoting of the room. And this custom is imitated in some of our American dining rooms. One or two fairly large decorative pictures may be used, but a number of small, intricate ones merely distracts the eye and detracts from the simplicity of the room. A Trouble Story. REFORMER told a tgouble story at a reform banquet in Washing- of dining rooms plicity. Be- e 18 left bare e linen cen- A ton. “The people,” he said, “who prophesy that our reforms will cause troubls and disorder are about as logical &s) the young widow. “A young widow, on the way from her husband’s funeral, stopped with her supporters at a house of re- freshment. D) “She elected gin wherewith to re- fresh herself, and a liberal quantity of the, transparent liquid was into her glas “‘Any water, Mag?' one of her sup- ports asked her, holding out the pitch- er. “The young widow put her hand hurriedly over the top of her * “Water? she sobbed. ‘Water? Good heavens, ain't I got trouble enough? | ‘ the . 19th. amend. day to Rang dam is spoiling caddy. i P dack | Ign * poured. glass. »tol; 3:': Bl sovt 80 Ring Lardner Writes an Open Letter to Congress O the Editor: Here is a copy of the message I am sending to Congress and maybe they might not dast give it out to the papers so here is a copy of it. To Congress: Well lady and gents I realize it ain’t customary for nobody only the President to send you boys a April fool message but still and all they's no law vs. anybody sending you one a speclally a man that come as close to the White House as myself and might of got all the way in if 1 hadn't of left Washington a few min- utes before the Hardings decided to make it an amusement park. at least judgeing from some of the birds that did get in I don't see how they could of barred this baby. And besides, if you boys is anything like bur last Congress a message will other sporting event that should ought to be layed on the shelf is the goal_after touchdowns. This helps the Navy but don’t do the army no good. Pass a law vs. men wearing dinner clothes which don’t benefit nobody but the Chinaman. Or if it looks like they was too much opposition to abolishing this quaint costume all to- gether, at lease leave us have some govt. regulation o as when you are called up and ast to dinner you won't half to go through no all day battle of the Marne decideing if you will or_you won’t. Make some kind of & universal rule in regards to hats in co-ed elevators. The way it is now a man is all right if he stays in one town, but the min- ute he goes visiting he is all wrong. For inst. if you are in Chicago you keep your hat on unlest the elevator is in'a hotel or a dept. store. In N. Y. City you also take them off in a apt. bldg. elevator provided the “GIVE THE TOWN PULLMAN TELEPHONE BOOTHS.” go just as big whether it comes from me or the President or the oulja board so any way I am going to write and point out a few things that needs tension that I studied them up while the President was down on the Florida golf links roughing it. Well gents you know the old gag about people that lives in a glass house shouldn’t drink out of the bot- tle, so the place to commence make- ing reforms is right where you are at, namely the nation’s capital and I don't know no way you could make a bet- ter begginning than appt. 2 commit- tee to tend all the ball games in Washington this season and try to find out if the home team is really playing their best. And the next thing to do is give the town Pullman telephone booths S0 as a person can enjoy a night rest wile waiting for the wrong num- ber and thus kill 2 birds with one besides getting your shoes “Please use this rag to wipe your razor as one small cut destroys a towel.” “Guests without baggage 25 cts. ex- tra for meals served in booth.” “Stop have you anything left.” * * ¥ % Id a bill providing for the Presi ent to not leave Washington dureing his incumbrance as they are libel to run wild when they get away from home and go to gay Paree and buck: the Tiger or something. Presi- dents of coarse likes to travel be- cause they get 10 cts. per mile which nets them about 2 cts. profit at the present rates minus the amusement tax on an upper but if they claim they can’'t get along without some such kind of a get rich quick scheme, why_allow them a dime for every mile they stay on the fairway and I guess by the end of 4 yrs. they will have enough saved up to buy a % interest in a milk chocolate. 1 also wished you would put up the names of the different govt. build- | ings in big letters so as when a man is showing his Mra the town she won't act like she had had him sub- poenaed. Horrow a 16 yr. old dependent child somewheres and give it to the lady ain’t your own wife or a relative. But in places like Washington you 8ot to expose yourself in elevators of all kinds and when I and the madam was thers and I took her on sight seeing trips to the different floors of office buildings, I discovered that T was the only gent in the car with a covered egg and felt even sil- lier than ever. s ‘Theése is a few of the needed legis- lations, Boys, and I wished you would find time to give them your tension but I suppose you will be too busy monking with the words and music of a peace treaty with eard rs, that we ain't been R ‘h.nltgé ‘W. LARD) N/ V. INER. Great Neck April fool. = The Gracious Hostess. Not every woman possesses that inborn graciousness that makes the practice of hogpitality a sort of sec- ond nature to her. Yet every woman can acquire the manner needed to To begin with guests should be made to feel welcome, not only by the pretty courtesies that are ex- tended to them, but by the words and attitude of every member of the family they visit. Even the glad smile of a child of the house is a welcome that any ome might envy. This attitude of welcome is natural to some of us; but all of us can acquire it, and children so quickly €opy the manners of their eiders xnd reflect the home atmos- phere that they can be depended on to do their part if their parents do theirs. s So much for the general atmosphere that betokens kindly breeding. Now for the actual attentions of a social sort that you may pay your guest. You may, toward the early part of her stay with you, plan some sort of party—anything from a most informal knmitting tea to a formal dinner or dance. Some very dear friend, perhaps under some social obligation to you. may give this first party for your guest—a tea, perhaps, or a dinner. Such a tea is maturally informal: in these days the guests are quite cor- rectly y_phone. ‘The soht of other amusement u furnish your guest must be decided live and the guest's y appeal to her. She will probably pre- {fer the sort of entertainment she «WILE THE MADAM IS SPOILING BALLOTS.” bird that out the personal exemption wanoe on the income tax and make him support it on $200 sy g— a rule to permit gmokeing in the senate and house 80 &8 you boys won't keep asking teacher if you can leave the rm. So much for local legislations and now we come to matters that effects the whole U, 8. States and the ist thing to do s pass the ma Repeal the truants law son won't half to go all ballota. ds it instead of being disqualified ought to be give a seat in the hall of fgme along with Columbus and Ad- miral, Peary. * * x LONG these lines it would also de & good move pass a federal law va. wrestlers iseing & headlock. They ain’t no more use for oné than on the German treasury bldg. No 3 fare minded congress wagls towards ‘%?- ome ‘war school an- finds in your own home and in the homes of your friends who invite her to come, with you, to luncheon. or dinmer, or for the afternom or evening. In most communities the friends whom you invite to meet your guest will plan some sort of enter- tainment for her, which you need feel mo hesitancy about accepting for 3 Old Lady Science. (QRVILLE WRIGHT was talking at a Dayton difiner about the new Caproni biplane, which carries 100 passengers. “What will the scientists say now?" he laughed. “When my brother and I were trying to fly, the scientists proved time after time that flight ::: impossible to man. , wi flying was actually accomplished, they proved es would never be more than dangerous toys— big, stable ones couldnt be made— they’d be too heavy tm Tisa. “Those scientists were 1fke the oid lady who was taken to see the first trolley car to start in her village. She looked at the car and sniffed: ““It'll never go. “But the car did go. It went beau- titully. Th.llll the old lady, staring aft- hrie er it, “*It'll never stop! —_— A Give-Away. JUDGE was talking at & banquet A about investigationa “It is true that one MAgDATe Te- oently got a complete white-washing from the Anvte-v.l‘lm\r usmnlu l-no-.. w said, it magnal clover?:sn. The other accused had better look out. for they are apt to give themselves away. Like the pris- oner, you know.” Smiling, the judge continued: “A new guard was on duty at a New York prison and was conduef- ing a prisoner to the cells. “:Look out’ he said as‘they came to a dark corner, ‘there’'s a step 5 '(rvui partner, muttered the ner, ‘I knew that step. w you =u.°bo.i'n.' =2 : 5 g [ t “