Evening Star Newspaper, March 12, 1898, Page 14

14 Written for The Evening Star. ‘There is a constant call being made on congressmen for the reports of the world’s fair at Chicago, an official of the doc- vment room of the House of Representa- tives to a Star reporter, “but we can only tell them that there have been no official Teperts published, and, from present indi- cations; that there are not likely to be. The fact is that the affairs of the world’s fair wound up in a big row. The various par- ties whe had the preparation of the reports in charge refused to make them to ex-Sen- ator Paimer, who was the director of the fair, and though he did all he could to smooth out the troubles he was unable to do so. There was no appropriation made to publish them, even if they had been completed, and now that several years have been allowed to elapse, it is not prob- able that there will be any. There is no Goubt but the reports if published would Fave been the best ever published by the government, and ysould nave excelled the reports of the centennial, the Vienna and iast Paris expositions, for the reason that the facilities for iMlustrating reports are much better now than they were when these rep were published. Many took it for granted that the reports of the wcrld’s fair would be published, and sup- pesed ail they would nave to do was to k for them, that they would be printed the other reports were, as public do ments. In this, as I said before, they were mistaken. A great deal of time and intel- ence was consumed in the collection and preparation of the matter for the reports, only to find after it was secured that there had been no appropriation made to publish them. Somehow, the world’s fair got away 4rom what the originators of it intended. ‘Though it was a big event, looking at it frem any view, there r was auything of a nation cided to hold it in Chi Every one now sees that a mistake was made in not hav- ing the fair in Washington, which was the * * any telling what can be by determined effort, if the effort is in the proper direction,” remarked a known gentleman to a Star reporter, “and to ily idea T have to relate “There done my something that passed under my personal experience less than three years ago. There were several ncies in the med- f the army, and as the plac ons, are very desirable. there surse a number of applicant: uations for the places took place One young man who present- were The exam in this city ed himself was rather under size physical- ly, and he desired to be thoroughiy in- formed as to what was necessary in the way of height and weight. He was told, if measured and weighed. He was a quarter of an inch short of the minimum height and some pounds lighter than was ary in the way weig s elapsed before the physical examination took place, and when the time arrived he was found to be 4 bove the mi vier than wha ed that the young man » time in bed or on a ter of an inch eral pounds It couch, having a system of _ pull or weights so arranged that they actually stretched if inch during the time. It is a w own fact that a person is taller in the morning than i that les down, as it were, during the > avoid this as much as possible, young man determined that he would t stand up during the three weeks, and though h it wa: might he very e done occasionally, seldom. for he contented him- self lying down with the weights pulling inst his feet and neck. To put on ht he five meals each day, and, taking no exercise, he put on pounds more than what was nec ‘That young man has, during the le three years he has been an assistant sur- geon, put on twenty-five pounds in weight, and he stretched himself out so we.. that he has maintained the height he secured for himself.” * * * “The hair furnishes considerable for study,” said a physiognomist to a Star re- porter, “and much more than a carel server would suppose. s ob- It is an investiga- tion that is easily made. The hair un- questionably indicates temperament and feeling, fine or coarse, and of character and constitution. Black hair accompani is known as the bilious temperament which gives power, endurance and strength. On the other hand, or head possibly, light hair indicates the e opposite, delicacy, fine- nd the lighter tone of character. } a person with and you will tibil is red hi mt, th s what nes tice o- uburn hair, man or wo- liscover easily that their re quick. By the same r marks nguine tem- who are essed of in- S, of ardent, fiery or passionate As the hair is curly or inclined the emotional and impu A perfe to all who fam ties pos natures. that way sive is straight hair tells ire to know it, for e with straight hair who ild and tame nature? ‘sh ight i 1 be noticed, } can do amount of are not led on for | H are the op- b ired people, who can nd hardest kind of » strong man, has light nk he would be as re- ntinued work-as a black- alf his strength. Here is study. The coarser the e the owner of it is marked | sality in thought. feeling, man- | think tha | they vor work heavy work. man or woman who any possibility ever make a great mark in | public life. Fine hair may do well for the | student in those who have test marks in these lines you discover that their hair is coarse. The | same rule holds good with man and wo- rson who has coarse, brittle hair, t matters at color, though the darker it more strength of character and persistenc re Is likely to be, has a caretul mind generally and is of a very ob- hg nature. The o remember what see or hear for a long time, and have the faculty of calling up in their they have ever observed or are the material that goes to the makeup of successful detectives. rhey are of special value as librarians or rehers of titles. They are rarely in- ors, though they are likely to remem- her more of the points involved in inven- than inventors. In departmental life re very valuable in being able to put ds on papers which are long filed They also remembeg accurately rul- ms and precedents. I have in al persons of this kind, two of the besides ven j directed to make other nation; but, though there are excep- tiens, each always pays for what he gets. With Americans it is the other way. When we treat it means that we pay the price. When a German asks a friend to have glass of beer with him, it does not mean that the person so invited is to drink the beer at the expense of the one who asks him to drink. as it does when we ask a friend to drink with us. It means that he desires the companionship of the person he asks to drink with him, not that he desires also to pay for the beer. ‘A Dutch treai’ Means that every one pays for what he himself drirks. There is much more so- cizbility abcut such a treat when properly understood than in the American treat, where the person who treats, though he pays the bill for all, would not feel called upon to associate a minute afterward with those he tzeats, or In many cases to accept a treat from all of those he has treated. There are many contradictions in this mat- ter of treating which are peculiarly Amer- icanisms. It is no unusual thing among us to ask a friend for a cigar, and noi unusuai to receive one. No one would think of of- fering or receiving any money for a cigar received or given in this way. But a mo- ment afterward if one were asked the ac- commodation of a postage stamp, he would expect compensation for it, or give it if he asked for the stamp, though the cigar eftentimes costs five times as much as a stamp. In the case of the postage stamp it would be regarded as business. Now all that is nonsense. There is no business in giving away a cigar which costs ten cents and expecting money for a postage stamp hich costs but two cents. It 1s purely that the German cus- tem in this matter is a great deal better than ours.” kee KK “In the olden days of Washington,” re- marks an oldtimer, “the scenes in the every-day life of our people were so dif- ferent from these of the present day that we, who have witnessed the rapid strides of invention and improved methods and can recall the primitive ways of old, are amazed by the comparison. Take the matter of ecroner’s inquests, for instance, and com- pare the mode of procedure with that of the presert day. Why, many of the ver- dicts when death was sudden were that the cause was ‘the visitation of God.’ The cor- oner for the county of Washingten in the forties and for many years after was Mr. Thomas Wocdward, father of Mr. W. R. Wecdward, who lives in Georgetown. Con- sidering that he was usually cailed by a feot messerger and reached the scene of duty with the ail of his horse, he made geod time. Now there are dozens of in- avests where there was one in his time. Then, however, numbers of cases failed to be reporte®, for as at present, in some instances the circumstances were not dis- ed, and there being but one or two po- stables to a ward, it was easy to Keep the facts from them if family and friends of the deceased were so disposed. Now, however, with the improved methods of communication and the well-organized police fore es are rar “There ene enacted forty years ago, when I was called as a juror by the coroner, growing out of the misunderstand- ing by the husband of the corpse. He was working et a fishery on the south side of Eastern branch, and was at his home at irregular heurs. His wife was given to oc- resional spells of liquor drinking, in one of which she fell on the floor of her room, and was dead when a neighbor called to see her the next morning. The police constable was called, and a m nger was dispatched for the coroner, while friends of the husband started for the fishing shore in a boat to have him at the inquest. It so happened that wher the husband arrived the jury had been called by the coroner, and he was swearing the foreman ‘to due inquiry and true presentment make,’ according to the eviden-e, ‘sparing no person by reason of fear, favor, affection or hope of reward.’ Halting at the door the husband took in the words of the oath, and striding into the room, with one leg over the body of his wife, and raising his clenched fist before the coroner's nose, exclaimed, ‘Mr. Cor- erer, do you mean to say my wife didn’t die fair? 1f you mean that, this jury's ad- j and we'll fight it out.’ this stopped the proceedings, good-natured coroner and the jurors (most of whom knew the man) suc- ceeded in convincing the bereaved hus- band that only the forms of law were fol- lowed, and ne one thought that such a fair weman could be unfair in dying. Then the inquest was 1esumed, and the jury, after debating whether they should say ‘by the itation of God" or ‘by the excessive use spirituous liquors,’ used the latter in their verdict, and the bereaved owned that it was a fair verdict. ‘Perhaps I should add that in those days coroners’ inquests were regarded ag im- portant events, interesting the community often for a week. ——.—__ MADE HIM A COLONEL. How a Newspaper Title Was Acquired in War Time. Much fun has been poked at many south- ern citizens because of the large number who were called colonels, and it has been estimated that in some sections of the sout more colonels returned from the war than entered the service during the entire four years. When it is remembered from what trifling circumstances a colonelship could be evolved there is no need to ques- tion how and in what manner the title was bestowed by our southern friends. A reporter for The Star late in 1865 was some inquiry as to an item of news sent to the paper. After a moment's thought the reporter became cer- tain that if the news was true it would be known to a certain man. This person, though a strong Union man, was physical- ly unable to bear arms. He had, however, rendered valuable service to the govern- ment and his state and enjoyed the friend- ship of many of the leading men of the country, particularly those of his own po- litical faith. The reporter placed the item in this gentleman's hand, and when he had read it he said, “This is 2 1 would like to give,” said the reporter, “some authorities for the statement. May 1 ask you how do you know it is true?” “Well, let me ‘see,” was the answer. “Secretary , Justice , General ," (and he ‘named half a’ score of others, each by his title), “all say that it is true, and, last and least, I know it is true.” “All you have mentioned, porter, jokingly, “have titles. shall I give you? “Well, let's see,” remarked the gentle- man. “You may put me down ‘colonel.’ Not that I ever bore a military title from competent authority, but I was so dubbed in a little town up north some years ago. “You see, I was rather hard up, and for want of something more lucrative ‘and con- genial I attempted to do some collecting on a percentage. Well, some few bills were paid, and In such cases I wrote after the words ‘Recetved payment’ my name and ‘coll.,’ for collector, and from that the few holding such receipts called me colonel, and in that place I am so known to this day.” The reporter took his leave and when the item appeared his name had the military prefix of colonel, and he soon was so called wherever he was known. Thus The Star made an officer and there was no circum- locution nor no red tape required to give him a title which continued with him to his death, and his people are spoken of as the family of Colonel by many said the re- What title whom are in the pension office. who can, when called upon, state almost instantly the rulings in complicated pension cases, it matt not how & a time has elapsed e made. Another case artment, who can of the hundreds of connection with the letter si Is instantly remember an rulings made f cartier ser eee ex “I am convirced that Americans will be gainers if they study the customs of the Germans in the matter of treating,” ob- served a well-known man to a Star re- porter. “At first it may appear unsociabie- like, but the more they look into it the more they will find it has advantages. Germans treat as frequently and indeed more frequently than the people of any Washingtonians who are unaware how the title came to the family to tnis day. Ss Se Deliberate. From the Philadelphia Flo (proudly) — jump at conclusions.” Jack (sadly)—“I should say he doesn’t. I never knew him to reach a conclusion in less than an hour,” minister doesn’t “How in the world did you get elected probate judge, Shcker?” “It was easy. I jest took the stump, made’ war speeches and sald that this country could lick anything-under the blue deme of heaven. The other fellow talked gcod government and fitness for office.”— Detroit Free Press. \ - HAD HER DOUBTS. She Was Not So Sure of Zeke in the _ Hereafter. “Of all the darkies in the town where I live in Alabama,” the War Department cierk “was saying, “the very worst in the lire of inability to keep his hands off of a stray chicken was one who was generally known as Zeke. He may have had an- ether name, but as he was not married, Zeke seemed to be plenty for his uses and purposes. For a long, long time Zeke was a chronic habitue of the calaboose, owing to his natural weakness, but one Sunday @ negro revivalist opencd up in town and when the week ended Zeke had become converted and before a cloud of witnesses announced his intention of living a better Efe. “And so he did, much to the surprise of everybody, black and white. At first. we all thought he would break over in a few weeks, but the weeks stretched out into months and the months into years, and two years of very decent living were to Zeke’s credit, when he was taken danger- ously ill. The old woman with whom he lived, and who was greatly concerned for his welfare, was much agitated as he con- tinued to grow worse, and at last she broke into loud wailing. “*Why, Aunt Patsy,’ said the white phy- sician who had the case, ‘what are you carrying on that way for? “ ‘Ain’ Zeke gwinter die?’ she asked, as if the question were entirely uncalled for. “7 think he is, but that isn’t so bad as it might have been. Just think how much better fitted he is to die now than he ence. was. ‘Da’s what I’se afeard uv, doctor; da’s it I'se afeard uv, she wailed. ‘What are you afraid of? I don’t un- derstand.” “‘Case, he's so good, doctor,’ she plained between sobs. ‘Ef he done die now, sir, he’s sho’ gwinter hebben, an’ when he gits dar, doctor, and de fedders on dem angels’ wings rubs up agin him, dector, he ain't nebber gwinter to stan’ de tem’tation, sho. He jis’ cain’ do hit, dector, an’ me not dar to he’p him,’ and again Aunt Patsy broke into sobs at the thought of what might happen to Zeke. es UNLESS THE POLICE INTERFERED. ex- A Spanish Officer Who Could Clean Out the United States. “I ckarced to overhear a conversation a few weeks ago in Havana that was both interesting and amusing,” remarked a gen- tleman who was until recently connected officially with the United States consulate at Havana, to a Star reporter. “While din- ing in a cafe one evening my attention was attracted by a Spanish offcer and an Eng- lishman seated at an adjoining table. The Spaniard, who was a well-known officer, was somewhat flushed with wine, and he spoke in loud tones, his remarks being fraught with braggadocio. The English- man was also a well-known resident of Ha- vana, having large business interests there. “I cite the incident,” continued the ex- official, “merely to show that the Spaniards feel thoroughly confident that they could make a strong, if not overpowering, show- ing in case of war with this country. The subject was discussed by the Spaniard and the Englishman for several moments, until i finally the former sneeringly said: “Why, I could land in Florida with 25,000 men and walk right through the whole United ates.” ‘The reply of the © slishman was the you could,’ he Sarcastic manner; ‘yes, police didn’t stop yor pee PARLIAMENT MIRRORED. said in the most you could—if the A Professional and Technical De- scription of Statesmen’s Attire. From the London News. The Tailor and Cutter sent a special ccmmissioner to the opening of parliament. The ceremony gave him the impression of a funeral march, in its aimost total ab- sence of color. The crowd of members, however, included one or two just men from the tallor’s point of view. Sir Charles Dilke wore a frock coat, “beauti- fully balanced,” and with “a free and easy hang.” His trousers attested discrimina- lion in the outter. Lord Hugh Cecil, on the other hand, was found to be “a young man with a careless gait, which seems characteristic of the family. He wore a black fruck coat, made in good style, and a pair of dark trousers, but his undevel- eped figure did not do them full justice.’ Our contemporary has to state with sad- ness, though without severity, that Mr. Leonard Courtney still keeps to his light buff or mustard-colored waistcoat. He is censured, yet with a light touch. “He must have an extensive stock of this shade, and it is an excellent mark for distinguishing bim from his fellow-members.” He has a disciple in Mr. Lionel Holland. This mem- ber has “caught the infection for light- colored vests, to which there is no objec- ticn, but he might try several colors before making a final choice.” Among the Irish members, Mr. William Q'Brien is commended for improvement. His lounge of nondescript cut of last ses- sion has been laid aside, and his fashion- able frock now hangs “easily and grace- fully" on his figure. It is characteristic of the Tailor and Ccttter’s freedom from party spirit that, in this case, not the slightest allusion is made to the iower gar- ments. Members are not to think that the special commissioner has done with them. He will look in again, to see that they live up to their ideals to the end of the session. +e According to Their Consciences, “On one occasion,” remarked the able journalist, “I was down in the mountains of Tennessee, where everything is primi- tive, and on Sunday I attended a Baptist church, where, much to my surprise, the women were seated on one side of the house, and the men on the other. I had never seen anything of the kind before, and after the services were over I spoke about it to one of the members, whom I khew quite well.” ‘It’s allus been done that a-way,’ he said in explanation. ““But why?’ I persisted. “So's to worship God accordin’ to our own consciences, as the constitution per- vides. “‘But sitting on opposite sides of the church doesn’t make any difference, does it?’ ‘Don’t it?” he replied with emphasis. ‘Well, hit jis’ do. Do you reckon that a man kin set over thar alongside uv his wife whar she kin nudge him with her el- bow about every onc’t in two minutes ef he begins to swag—I say, kin a man do that under them circumstances and wor- ship God accordin’ to his own conscience? Well, not much, nowhar; an’ pertickler not in this here neck uv woods.’ “The explanation and the supporting ar- gument carried conviction beyond all con- troversy, and I had no more to say in op- position.” — “I understand that whisky comes pretty high in the Klondike,” said the sociablé old gentleman with the red nose. “Looks like it reaches the top of the glass around in this town,” said the bar- tender, and the old gentleman walked out full of wrath.—Indianapolis Journal. Tenor (singing)—“ "appy, ‘appy, " ‘essor—‘Sto} t x a athe AT Pp, stop: iv ou ‘enor—“ m’t go no ‘igher than G!”— Punch. * PRS opt a HIS CHANGE OF HEART “I won't stand up and declare outright that there's any significance in it,” said a ‘Wash! man who takes a neighborly interest inthe goings-on of the folks who live next © toe&him, “but here’s the case, and you a e up your own mind about it: “The whp° owns and occupies the house on the i of mine is a republican who went ‘but the grain states a year ago last fail and made a lot of campaign talks for ihe gentleman who now resides in the Executive Mansion. He was the hottest gold man, the raringest no-50-cent-dollar spellbinder,that J ever argufied with. Hon- est, he wotldn’t lend me the loan of his lawn mower any more when he found out that, seeing as how I held a government job that paid me enowgh in wages to permit me to take my wife to the theater once in a while and to go a-fishing when I wagt- ed to, I was sort of straddling the rails ard laying low on the currency question. “““Now’s the accepted time for every man to declare himself,’ said he to me about four dozen times before he started out to make his western campaign talks. ‘What the dickens is the use or sense of veing neither fish, flesh, fowl, nor good red her- ring? What are you—white or yellow? Take a stand?’ : “But, all the same, I stuck to my little perch on the razor edge of the fence, which is why I've got-my job yet—but this is be- side the mark. “When my gold-plated neighbor got back from his campaign spellbind, a little while after the election, he was all smiles. He was booked for a fat thing under the nev; administration—it' was dead easy to see that he felt that in his bones. He sort 0’ patronized me graciously, and gave me to infer that, if I kept right good from then on, he wouldn’t peach on me for being a straddler when he got into a position to do confidential peaching right after the 4th of March, and so I managed to get a little sleep o” nights. “Well, this neighbor of mine wasn’t made commissioner of pensions, commissioner of Indian affairs, nor commissioner of any- thing else on March 5. This seemed to sur- prise him some, but he maintained his easy, confident, me-and-Mac-are-as-thic.- as-thieves manner, and we didn’t doubt that he’d get the ministership to Mexico or something ‘equally as good’ as soon as Mr. McKinley cleaned up his desk and got around to it. Mr. McKinley \s cleaning up his desk and getting around to it still—but my friend hasn’t got any job yet. “Now, here’s the point: My hasn‘t-con- nected neighbor is a man of some pr-vate means, and he’s lately been having his house and yard fixed up. Among other odds and ends of jobs that he had attended to was tne painting of the iron picket fence that hedges in his front yard. The tips of these iron pickets are formed in the shape of spears. He's had those spears ail nicely silvered—not gilded, you understand, but silvered just as shinily as newly-minted ‘In God we trust’ metal dollars of the realm. “As I began by saying, I'm not a man to jump at conclusions. But what d’ye make of it, anyhow?” 2 Se THE SHIP IN PROCESSIONS. It is an Old Custom, Dating Back a Centary. “A pretty feature,” says “in Washington processions, political and national, for many years, has been the ‘ship of state,’ or ‘Constitution,’ as a doat, often complete in its appointments, armed with miniature \cannon, and manned by sailors. Sometimes the intervals between the appearance of such floats have been of such length that the ship is hailed as an entirely new feature. Under the name of ‘Constitution’ or ‘Union,’ however, the ship float has been a feature in political demon- strations in the United States for over a century. As far as known the just exhibi- tion of the kind (at least in this part of the country) wag in Baltimore in 1788, and the credit ‘of its introduction belongs to Commodore’ Joshua Barney, who, though a mere boy, was a valiant officer in the revolution,,; and ; distinguished himself in the war of 18i2 with his flotilla. In that year the ratification of the Constitution was the great question before the people, and there ‘was a division of sentiment on it, those in favor of its ratification ag framed forming the federalist party. In Baltimore a great federalist demonsiration was projected—a procession from the east- ern part of the city around what is now the harbor to the hil] south of the basin, and a mass meeting. Commodore Barney took a prominent part tn this affair, nad his ship in line under the name of the ‘Federalist,’ and the name of Federal Hill naturally attached to the vicinity to which the ship led the iine and where the meet- ing was held.” ——--_— LADIES’ HATS OFF IN CHURCH, Suggestion by a Pastor, With an Ex- ample Set by Members of His Family. Frem the Chicago Tribune. ‘With uncovered heads many of the wo- men of the congregation of the Fullerton Avenue Presbyterian Church now sit and listen to the sermon of their pastor, the Rev. Dr. J. A. Rondthaler. No more do the holders of pews in the rear of the church hear the preacher’s words coming to them over a sea of black plumes and brilliant feathers. The new rule is not by any means universal as yet, but the move- ment is gaining strength week by week. Generally, the younger members of the congregation favor the new order of things, but to some of the older and more conser- vative worshipers the change is unwel- come. Bearing in mind the scriptural in- junction of Paul “that women should re- main covered in the churches,” they insist that bonnets should be worn throughout the service, and not held in the lap at all. Dr. Rondthaler did not have any general crusade in mind when he first mentioned the plau of removing large hats in church. At a meeting of some of the women one evening he said it would please him if the view-obstructing hats were not worn dur- ing the sermon. He said he was tired of directing his remarks to a single row of faces and a widespread exhibit of millinery in the rest of the church. The next n- day fifty women obeyed their pastor's re- quest, the example being set by members of his family. Owing to the inconvenience of managing the massive pieces of headgear while kneeling and rising to sing the hats were not taken off until the final hymn, and re- placed directly after the sermon. As the floor of the church has but a slight slant, the relief of the holders of rear pews was great. Some criticism was started at first by women who objected to the new rule, but Dr. Rondthaler announced, on hearing it, that compliance with the new form was a matter of personal choice by each one, and most of the dissenting ones soon saw the practical side ‘and fell into line. It is said the women of other churches are about to adopt the yule. _ ————+ e+ No; Difference, an oldtimer, From Life. Mr. Spouter“The different ways in which really fitifere plety manifests itself are Indeed rematkeble. For inetance, some people believe in fasting, while others, just as devout, ‘attend church suppers.” Mr. Beentheré-“What's the difference?” : (Nowadays. (Copyright, site Publishing Company.) JUDGE OF HUMAN NATURE. A Hotel ambermaid Whe ie Up the Guests, “I have been on the road for more years than two-thirds of the world’s people live,” remarked the veteran drummer, as he was taking it easy at a hotel in Washington, “and I have seen a good many things, but never until this morning have I seen a chambermaid in a hotel who guessed what my accomplishments were by the room I had. For the sake of a wise economy pre- vailing all over the land at present, I had an apartment on the top floor, and it was pretty high up. When I came out for breakfast I noticed that a button was off my overcoat, and as the maid was sweep- ing in the hall I told her I wouid pay ner if she would get a needle and thread for me and sew it on. “I think you can do that, sir, better than I can,’ she responded with a knowing smile. “Why, do I look like a tailor? I in- quired. * ‘Not so gcod-looking as one I know,’ and she blushe: ‘but it wasn’t that, sir, I was meaning.’ ““*And what was it?” “It’s this, sir. I have been a chamber- maid for twelve years, and I have seen a good many men in my time, and I never Saw one yet that took a top flure room that couldn’t sew a button on as weil as any woman in the place. They are thrifty, that kind are, sir, and they know how to take care of themselves. It's the doods on the lower flurey, sir, that have to be waited on like babies and can’t do a blessed thing for themselves, sir. “It was a compliment, and it wasn’t,” concluded the veteran, “but seeing that I was not classed with the dudes I took it as a preponderance in my favor. Just the same, the chambermaid was calling the turn on per cent of the top floor con- tingent. Could =e NOT LIKE NEW YORK. Washingtoninns Take More Interest in Each Other's Affairs. “Washington ts the queetest place I ever saw in one particular,” said a gentleman recently to a Star reporter. The gentle- man in question was formerly in the the- atrical business, and had lived pretty much ali over the country, Chicago being his home for some years and New York his real home at present. So he ought to know what he was talking about. “Everybody here in Washington knows everybody else,” he continued, “‘seemg to krow the affairs of every one else, or if not permitted to do so, or at least, some of them, make big kicks on this account. There fs no doubt of its being a city, and @ good-sized one, but in the respect of which I speak it is like a country village. “Take my case, for instance. I have been here for several months. I went to beard at a restaurant simply because it was convenient, as I have been accustomed to do wherever I lived. I did not consider anything else when I went there. I simply went there to eat and not to cultivate the acquaintance of ybody who boarded there. I was greatly surprised some time ago, and uo little amused, to learn that scme people who ate at the same restan rant, and to whom I had never paid the slightest attention because I did not know them, had been taiking about me and say- ing <hat they thought it exceedingly Strange because I did not speak to them or have anything to do with them. I was told that they said I was ‘stuck up,’ ar gant, conceited and ‘stiff.’ Mind the Were persons whom I had never met and about whom I absolutely knew nothing, and who were supposed to know absoluiely nothing about me. It did not make me argry in the least, but I thought it only served to show how narrow-minded some People are, who have never traveled or been out of their own city “Such a thing in New York or Chicaz> would have been unheard of. Nine chances cut of ten nobody would have paid any more attention to me than I did to them, er would hive cared to do so. People elsewhere don’t have time to do this. They neet so many p2ople they simpiy regard them as not existing or ignore their pres- ence altogether. Why, in New York for mouths I lived in a flat next to some peo- p:e, the entrances of the two flats being side by side, never knew who they were and never had the slightest desire to find out. 2 “This reminds me of a rather ludicrous experience which happened to a friend of mine. He lived in a flat in New York, a family occupying the one directly over him. He received a letter from a friend, a member of his college fraternity, telling him that another friend who had been a rrember of the same fraternity was living in New York and had been for several years. He was asked to look up this friend and did so. Much to his surprise he found that the address given in the directory not only in the same house, but on inves- tigating more closely, he discovered that this friend and his famiiy occupied the flat directly above him. They had lived there for years and neither had been aware of the presence of the other, although they had been intimate friends at college.” — The Retort Courteous. Hoskins and Boskins were deskmates in the same office, and whereas Boskins was extremely precise and particular, Hoskins was exactly the reverse, and the most un- méthodical and careless man on earth. It was never that Hoskins had anything he needed at his work, and it was so that he invariably borrowed from Boskins, whose patience was worn to a frazzle, while his providence was all that saved the com- bination on many occasions. One day it was Boskins’ knife that Hos- kins wanted, and, as usual, Boskins let him have it. Later Boskins wanted the knife, and asked Hoskins where it was. “Don't have a fit,” said Hoskins in a e, as if Boskins were imposing on ‘m not going to keep your old “That wasn't what I was asking about it for,” responded Boskins as gently as a mother might. “I only wanted to know where it was so that I could have it for you_when you wanted it again ‘Huh,” snorted Heskins, and Boskins’ face took on a far-away smile of seraphic satisfaction. ———— Dey Spenka Da English. There is in Italy a whole village of well- to-do Italians who speak English, and it is regarded as one of ‘the most astonish- ing things that Italy offers to the tourist. The inhabitants are retired organ grinders, who have acquired comfortable fortunes in England, and have gone back to their na- tive land to live in affluence with their fam- ilies in this strange little colony, which they have founded among the Italian moun-. tains. The stranger, in walking through the quiet streets, is often astonished by the sound of a hand-organ sending forth the familiar strains of a once popular air from within some one of the houses, giving evi- dence of the affection in which the organs are held by their owners. Most of them cherish their instruments in their ideal life of idleness. bite here?” » My poor fellow. Just stand’ where you are and you'll get a frost bite.” (Copyright, Life Pyblishing Company.) — " JOHNSON» Written for The Evening Star. Early Flowers Hello, Dandelion! Hello, Dandy Dan! Keepin’ up appearance; Do de bes’ you can. Ain’ no fancy posy, But you seems so gay Seems a shame to pick yer For a buttcrhole bouquet. Mighty hahd ter scare ‘im. Blusterin’ winds kin blow; Mistuh Dandelion Keep a-lookin’ like he know Nuffin’ gwincter hurt "im, As he watch de children pass An’ answer back de smilin’ Dat he gibs ‘em f'um de grass. Hello, Dandelion, Yaller lik» de sun, Yoh writes yoh affidavul Dat de spring is clean begun! An’ we might as well git ready Ter dress up spick an’ span An’ go out Sunday walkin Foh ter welcome Dandy Dan! * = x What Convinced Her. (0 woman,” said the somewhat acrid lady, ‘should marry until she is sure the man who asks her to do so really loves her. And she proceeded gloomily, “it is very hard to be sure of that.” “Perhaps so,” replied the Kentucky lady. “But I was absolutely sure before I mar- ried.” “I don’t see how you could be. It so cftsn happens that people do not know their own minds.” “There was no room for doubt in tais case. We were out sieigh riding the even- ing the colonel proposed to me. I had re- fused him several tim>s before, and I told him then that I would always esteem him as a friend. We heard the jingle of | behind us. The colonei’s horse, a thordugh- bred of which he was very proud, quick- ened its pace at the sound. The colonel Icoked around and exclaim ‘Here’s the chance I've been waiting for. That's Judge body behind He has been bragging about that new horse of his for the iast six ‘ ver I tried to get him ce, he has dodged out of hout acknowledging “that e could beat him.’ “The colonel slow2d up so as to let the judge overtake him. The judge didn’t dare refuse the challenge, because he had a girl with him. He wouldn't allow himseif to be humiliatsd in her eyes. As soon as the two sleighs were even, the colonel gave cur horse a cut with the whip and away we went, the animals with necks eagerly extended and th: people leaning over the dashboards trying to help them along. For a few seconds the horses’ feet thumped on the road in perfect rhythm; then we be- gan to move ahead. The village was about a mile distant, and the colonel leaned out, turned shouted. ‘Judge, I'll see you at the post office.’ “The judge gave his horse a blow with the whip, but he was already using all the speed he haa, I turned around, half out of the sleigh to keep a look out. The sleigh struck a boulder and pitched me out into a snow drift. I wasn’t hurt, and I gave thanks when I saw the sleigh had not wholly oy2rturned and was speeding on its way to the post office, still several leng ahead of the judge. Imagine my astonish- ment when I saw the colonel slow up, let the judge pass him and turn around. “He was coming back after you, est2d one of the listeners. ecThat's exactly what he waz doing. And I concluded then and there that when a Kentucky gentleman was willing to lose a horse race for my sake there wasn’t any excuse for doubting his aff-ction. Ps sug- * * A Mississippi Tribute. I'm interested in this talk of war. read the news An’ traveled clear to Washington to polish up my views. I much admired the orators whose elo- quence an’ power Is such that when they're started they kin go it by the hour. But most I liked one man who never had too much to say. I asked his name from some one who came passin’ "long that way. Says he, “The man that's talkin’? Why, of course I ought to know. I've voted fur him often—Private John of Tupelo!” I've He has a way of provin’, when a talk from him is due, That one needn't lose his temper to be earnest through an’ through. An’ hist’ry shows most p’intedly, here I want to state, That a sense of humor never interfered with bein’ great. When angry tempests seem to ’round with threatenin’ force, He pours oil upon the water, though he doesn't shift his course. I jine the rest to listen when he’s speakin’ smooth and slow, To the wise and gentle words of Private John of Tupelo. right gather It struck me, s'pos'n war should come an’ hostile ranks should meet, There ought to be a chance of winnin’ vic- tory complete Without the usual fightin’. flag of truce An’ show the énemy jes’ why resistance ain't no use,* An’ tell ‘em plain an’ kindly all the things they orter de, An’ perceed to p’fnt a moral with an anec- ote or two,” Perhaps we might reform as-well as cir- cumyent the; foe; An’ the man to do the job is Private John of Tupelo! Ef we'd send a A Journalistic Triumph. “There is no use of talking,” exclaimed the editor of the Pohick Clarion, as he shook a rat out of the trap to feed the office terrier. “I've got to get a running start somehow and progress. Progression is the keynote of modern journalism,” he went on as he took a saw from a nail and began cutting his plate matter into the proper length for his miscellany columns. “If I don’t develop more momentum some of these out-of-town metropolitan journais will get ahead of me.” A few minutes later he was going through 'a number of exchanges. “I might have known it!” he exclaimed, as he gazed at a beautifully executed draw- ing four or five columns wide. “Sometimes I think I don't know any more about egt- ing than some of my subscribers give me credit for.” is rua. And there's no use of trying to bet- ter it. Even if I was to take hold and d the writing and see that things went prop erly, you couldn't work the press, The idea of our having a story of the signing of any important bill without a picture of the pen the President did it with!” His employer sat overwhelmed with hu- miliaiion for several seconds. Then he grabbed a piece of paper and began to work a5 one under the mmuence of inspiration, His pencil flew rapidly over the paper and he paused only long enough to remark “you wait til tomorrow, Bill, and I shouldn't be surprised ig yeu were able to get 4 job at a fabuious salary by merely mentioning the fact that you used to work en the Clarion, The next morning the following article appeared under the caption; THE CLARION EVER TO THE FOR) Realizing as we do that the world, which palpitates in sympathy with the editorial mind, expects it to be ever alert, sparing neither labor nor expense to secure feat- 5 erthy to be spread fore our in- nt and discriminating readers, THE CLARION invites attention to a feat un- paratleled in the newspaper world. We are aware that some comment was aroused by the fact that we neglected to carry out our custom of presentirg ali the exciting in- cidents of every event which our columns chronicle. We failed to print a picture of the pen with which the President of the United States signed the fifty-million-doliar ypriation bill. But they who imagined were lacking in ENTERPRISE mis- judged us. We were preparing for more glorious things. Below will be found a series of fllustrations made by our special artist, all tending to cast new light upon one of the most momentous events of (he century, / Figure 1 is an absolutely faithful repro- duction of the shirt stud which the Presi- dent wore when he sat calmly signing the document; figure the brush with which he brushed the hair from his brow fter performing his morning ablutions; ure 3, the leg supporting the table upou which the bill reposed for some time: fig ure 4, the Presicent’s shoestring: figure the hieroglyph (probably a secret messag from Havara) which our lynx-eyed artisi- col spondent detected on a plec pf biot- ting paper: figure 6, the President's collar j button; figure 7, the tack upon which he nearly stepped after arising from slum- j ber, and figure S, one of his suspender bui- ons, | We refrain from comment upon an achievement which boastful contemporar- ies for years vainly endeavored to ual and content ourselves with what ever has and ever will be the C) watchword: “WE PRINT THE * repeating rion’ x x Could Not Be Positive. The blythe and Chestertieldian book age with his unerring judgment of human n: ture, picked Mr. Meckton out of a room full of pecple as a man upon whom h? might proceed to operate with hope cf success. “Ah,” said he, “this is mister—let me see, I declare I have forgotten the name.” “Meekton,” was the resigned reply. “Ah, yes. Mr. Meekton, of course. do you do, Mr. Meekton. day, isn’t it? “Yes,” replied Mr. Meekton, looking out of the window to make sure he was not prevaricating. “I am exhibiting a rare and beautiful something that ought to be In every something that will pe a help in your business, a recreation in your leisure moments and a joy to your childrea. “I don’t think I—” “There,” went on the caller, unwrapping @ highly decorated volume. “Look it over and judge for yourself. It needs no words from me—or ought to need none. Can I take your order for one of those magnifi- cent works of art?” “I have all the books I can read, and I can’t afford to buy any more. Bui as to your taking my order,” he added, with a sigh, “I must set my present feelings aside and admit that there is no telling what a resolute man can do whea he makes up his mind to it.” is How It is a beautiful WENT HUNTING IN OFFICE HOURS. The Easy-going Rules in the Depari- ments Fifty Years Ago. “The rules regulating the hours of work of the government employes in the de- partments,” says one who formerly served his country in the capacity of a clerk, “are quite different from those in vogue half a century ago. What would you think if I were to tell you that under the old regime 1 have known clerks to take their fowling pizces to their offices and after perusing the old Intelligencer, or some other paper, ascertaining the show for work coming to their desks and walking over to the ‘p'int,” near where the monument is now, or south of th? President's mansion, and shooting a few birds. 1 have known clerks to go gun- ning in office hours, but usually those who thus acted were fine shots and successful in bringing down the birds. Poor sports- men seldom took this privilege, but it was urderstood all round that all that was nec- essary was that th? work should be kept up. L have on many occasions strolied along the avenue or worked about my home for hours when my office work was well up, and nothing was said. There were eyen messengers who occasionally took French leave. “On one occasion, one of this class joined in a procession, and the following day he apologized to his chief, remarking: ‘I wait- ed to ask permission for absenting myself yesterday, but you had not arrived when my company was about to form, sv I took leave and now come to ask for it.” “That was right,’ said che chief, ‘always take holiday when you waat to, unless you see a rush of business coming, aud you will bs sure to have it. Only ask for the leave afterward to make it all right. But do not be extravagant. Spend your leaves for some good put 3 “This was when the entire force in the executive d>partments was not as large as some of the present bureaas, when the business of the government was a mere fraction of the pres>nt output. There was no need then of iron-clad rules, and so you kept your work well up there was no com- T-y R—it—“Mr. Secretary, Td lke to bring the Detroit Naval Reserves down to the sea next summer and put them aboard a cruiser for awhile.” Mr. L—s—“iut, poor fellows, they are aiiand Tancen”sheyn‘be’ Roe” aoe Teddy (grimiy)—“Just what.I want—give them a chance to show what's in 'em.”