Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, September 2, 1910, Page 12

I RAILROAD TIME GARDS | Great Northern No. 33 West Bound Leaves at 3:30 p. m No. 34 East Bound Leaves at 12:08 p. m No. 35 West Bound Leaves at 3:42 a. m No. 36 East Bound Leaves at 1:20 a. m No. 105 North Bound Arrivesat 7:40 p.m No. 106 South BoundLeaves at 7:00 a. m Freight West Bound Leaves at 9:00 a. m Freight East Bound Leaves at 3:30 p. m Minnesota & International No. 32 South Bound Leaves at 8:15 a. m No. 31 North Bound Leaves at 6:10 p. m No. 34 South Bound Leaves at 11:35 p.m No. 33 North Bound Leaves at 4:20 a. m Freight South Bound Leaves at 7:30 a. m Freight North Bound Leaves at 6:00 a. m Minn. Red Lake & Man. No. 1 North Bound Leaves at 3:35 p. m No 2 South Bound Arrives at 10:30 a. m PROFESSIONAL CARDS ARTS HARRY MASTEN Piano Tuner ormerly of Radenbush & Co. of St. Paul Instructor of Violin, Piano, Mando- lin and Brass Instruments. Music furnished for balls, hotels. weddings, banquets, and all occasions. Terms reasonable. All music up to date. Phone N. W. 535, or call at 213 Third Street, upstairs. HARRY MASTEN, Plano Tuner LENN H. SLOSSON PIANO TUNING Graduate of the Boston School of Piano Tuning, Boston, Mass. Leave orders at the Bemidji Music House, 117 Third St. Phone 319-2. Residence Phone 174-2. RS. TOM SMART DRESS MAKING PARLORS Orders taken for Nu Bone corsets, made to order, also tallor made suits, coats, etc. Bring Your Orders to T. BEAUDETTE Merchant Tailor Cleaning and Pressing a Specialty 314 Minnesota Avenue PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS R. ROWLAND GILMORE PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office—Miles Block R. E. A. SHANNON, M. D. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office in Mayo Block Phone 396 Res. Phone 397 R. C. R. SANBORN PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office—Miles Block A. WARD, M. D. ® Over First National Bank. Phone 51 House No. 60i Lake Blvd. Phone 351 DR. A. E. HENDERSON PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Over First National Bank, Bemidji, Minn. Office Phone 36. Residence Pone 72. R. E. H. SMITH PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office in Winter Block DR. E. H. MARCUM PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office in Mayo Block Phone 18 Residence Phone 211 DENTISTS R. D. L. STAN1ON DENTIST Office in Winter Bleck DR. J. T. TUOMY DENTIST 1st National Bank Build'g. Telephone 230 R. G. M. PALMER DENTIST Miles Block Evening{Work by Appointment Only LAWYERS GRAHAM M. TORRANCE LAWYER Telephone 560 FRANK A. JACKSON LAWYER Bemidji, Minnesota E E. McDONALD ¢ ATTORNEY AT LAW Office—Swedback Block, Bemidji, Minn. H. FISK L ATTORNEY AT LAW Office over City Drug Store Miles Block . R-ilihg a False Is A story well known to lawyers of the last generation is about the *‘umbrella case.” A man was charged with steal- ing an umbrella, and a number of wit- nesses went into the box to testify to the offense. The counsel for the de- fendant noted that each witness car- ried an umbrella (the time of year was midsummer, which explains the neces- sity for these impediments). As a mat- ter of fact, the prisoner had no defense to make. The barrister, thrown on his wits, exclaimed: “Gentlemen of the jury. did you not notice that each of the witnesses carried an umbrella into the box? Why is this. gentlemen? "It is done. in order to infect your minds with the idea of an umbrella, to preju- dice the pri; oner in your eyes, to raise a false issue.” and I appeal to you to signify your detestation of this con- certed action by bringing in a verdict of not guilty.”” The judge, who im- agined that little attention would be paid to such a plea, took little time and less pains (o sum up the case. The jury nevertheless brought in a verdict in accordance with the resourceful bar- rister’s wishes.—London News. Hot Air. The sirocco blows hot from the high- lands of north Africa and falls on the Mediterranean as far as Malta. The salano jumps like a windy fireball from the heat of the Sahara desert and lands flatfooted in Spain. The harmattan blows hot Sahara dust far into the Atlantic and gives nosebleed and makes skin and lips parch and crack, while furniture and ship tim- bers groan and crack and scream in an agony of droughty despair. The khasmin blows Sahara’s ancient dust into Egyptian eyes every fifty days The pamperos periodicaly blow down into Buenos Aires out of the unex- plored desert highlands of Brazil, and the blowing causes suicides and mur- ders to be more common and wounds to break out afresh, with a heavy death rate. - Pamperos pass away in a second, leaving the air fine.—Ex- change. The Bulldog. The bulldog, unlike the majority of dogs, very seldom barks. In fact, ow- ing to the construction of his throat his attempts at barking are more like a burlesque of the real thing. He wades into a fight without any vocal warning, and the only sound he emits is his heavy breathing. His courage is astonishing, and the largeness of his opponent never acts as a deterrent when hostilities are imminent. Still, as he is not a quarrelsome dog, he very rarely indulges in street brawls, and, as he is exceedingly good natured, it takes a lot to rouse him. The modern bulldog is undoubtedly a different looking animal from his bull- fighting ancestors. The most conspicu- ous “improvements” introduced by the present day “fancy” are largeness of ‘| head, width of chest, heaviness of bone and more typical tail. Why She Was Pleased. “Do you mean to tell me that yéu actually overcame that ancient antipa- thy of yours for Mrs. Muggsby and called on her this afternoon?” said his wife’s husband. “That’s about the size of it,” replied ber husband's wife. “And she was glad to see you?”’ “There isn’t any doubt about it.” “Why do you think that?” . “Well, 1 had on that old dress I've worn three seasons and a hat that is entitled to a prominent place in some museum for antiquities, while she had on a new gown just from Paris. Oh. yes, I'm sure she was tickled to death, figuratively speaking, when I called!” —Chicago News. A Sample of Suggestion. A popular comedian and playwright was praising the humorous value of suggestions, “It is funnier to suggest a thing,” he said, “than to say it out. Play- wrights should remember this. Sugges- tion, pregnant suggestion, is what makes really funny the little boy’s re- mark to his father: “‘Pa, if you help me with my nr!t.h metic lesson tonight I'll tell you where ma hid your trousers’”—New York Sun. The “Best Girl” Habit. “Why,” asked her anxious and excit- ed mother, “do you think he is coming to the point at last?’ “Well,” the maiden replied, looking “| demurely down at the rug. “when he took me in his arms and kissed me last night he said he’d got so used to me he didn’t believe he could ever break himself of the habit.” Fellow Professionals. Phrenologist (to fellow passenger)— Bxcuse me, but am I right in- taking you for a professional man? Fellow Passenger — Yes, sir. Phrenologist— Thanks! It’s not often that I make a mistake in judging my fellow men. Er—lawyer? Fellow Passenger — No, sir; barber! The Main Point. “I am glad to say that I bear no man a grudge.” “But the point is this: Are you of suf- ficient importance to make any man care whether you bear him a grudge or not?’—Chicago Record-Herald. The Other Things. “Remember, my boy, there are other things worth while in college besides athletics.” ‘I know. The mandolin and glee clubs aren’t half bad.” — Louisville Courier-Journal. He that is ungratful has no guilt but one. All other crimes may pass for vir- tues in him. e et e v . DEFECTIVE PAGE 1 " Poor Pickings. The new boarder had never been on a farm before. She was filled with in- terest and delight in everything she saw. On the morning after her ar- rival she saw Mrs. Howe apparently picking berries from some pretty green plants beyond the wall as she strolled in the road. “Those are charming little plants.” she said, pausing. with her eyes fixed o0 a pail which hung on Mr: arm. “What kind of berri; them? Does it take long to fill a pail like that? Mrs. Howe looked down into the pail with a meditative air and answered the second question. “1 should hope 'twould.” she replied. “What kind of berries are they?" persisted the young woman. “I can’t quite see. What are you picking?” *’Tater bugs,” said Mrs. Howe as she made another contribution to the depths of the pail.—Youth's Compan- ion. Public Speaking Explained. The Japanese visitor to the city was asked to make an after dinner speech. He arose and began quaintly. *1 often wonder,” he said, “why it is gou Americans will hinder your diges- tion by making these after dinner tpeeches. We Japanese rest after our meals. It is much better. I know that I traveled with a Japanese legation over the United States, and every- where the Americans would make us dine. then ask us for speeches after- ward. We would much rather have dined at our hotels and retired after- ward to rest for the following day. 1 asked some one why it was, this universal after dinner speechmaking among the American men at public dinners. and he replied. that the American man never had a chance to say anything at home and that was why.”—New York Press. Had a Good Reason. Dan, a colored man, was employed as porter in a mercantile establish- ment in a town in Florida, and his duties required him.to have the store swept by 7 o’clock in the morning. He had been late for many mornings, and on the sixteenth consecutive time his empleyer remonstrated with him thus: “Dan, why can’t you get here on time?" “Well, Mr. L.,” said Dan, “yer see, 1 live the other side of Mount Hermon cemetery and can’t always get yere on time.” “Why in the world do you live so far from your work?" said his employ- er. Without a moment’s hesitation Dan responded. “Yer see, it's dis yere way, Mr. L.— I'l be honest' wid yer—I wants a home beyond the grave.” Testing His Scales. “Thank heaven James has.quit call- ing me Baby!” said the woman who weighs over 200 pounds. “A.strange butcher shamed him out of it.; It was done unconsciously too, Thnr\')s why it was so effective. Since I anto diet 1 have been weighed often The other day when James was ’buymo liver for the cat he remarked that he wished there were reliable scales in the neighborhood to weigh Baby.on, “Said the butcher, ‘Bring her down here.” *‘Thanks,’ said James; 'l will.’ “James told me the butcher was ex- pecting us, so we went. He was ready for us. He had rigged up a nice'little shawl arrangement suspended from the hanging scales to put baby in, and then he was introduced to—me. James hasn't called me Baby since.”— New York Times. Curious Old English Law. It is interesting to recall in connec- tion with railway accidents that only a few years back any instrument which by accident was the immediate cause of loss of human life became in English law “deodand”—that is, be- came forfeit to the crown. to be. de- voted to pious purposes. This law ap- plies to locomotives, 'but In’ course of time coroners’. juries, instead of claim- ing the forfeit, inflicted-a fine. In the year 1838 a locomotive on the Liver- pool and Manchester line which by exploding caused the death of ity ¥n- gineer and fireman: ‘was fined £20. while the following year another en- glna on the same lne was fined £1,400. Making Sure. “Johnnie!” “Yesm?' ‘“Why are you sittins on thnt boyp i face?’ - “Why, I"— ~ “Did I not tell you to always connt a hundred before you gave way to pas- sion and struck another boy?’ . “Yes'm, and I'm doin’-it; I'm “just’ sittin’ on his face so he’ll be here when I'm done countin’ the hundred." b —Houston Post. i " - N-polnn’- English. "~ - Napoleon I. began-to learn English at St. Helena, and there is a letter éx: tant from him which begins: “Since sixt week I learn the English and 1 do not any progress.: Six week do fourty and two days. If might have learn fivty word for day I could know it two thousands and two hundre Lucky Dog. “My wife is excessively fond of her poodle. Actually, I'm beginning to look on it as a sort of a rival to me.” “Say, you're lucky. - I'm only a sort of a rival to my wife’s poodle.”—Kan- sas City Times. = Her Excuse. Widow (to dressmaker)—You must really wait awhile for payment for the mourning dresses. We are still too sorrowful to consider flnancinl matters, ¢ * *Schoolboy Definitions. Here are some definitions from the schoolroom: *A Jacobite is a man descended from Jacob.” “Snoring is our breath meeting the air which is coming in our mouth.” ‘‘Sneez'ng i a kind of ‘coffing’ in the throat.” An- other boy writes, *When you are cold the inside of your body rumbles and then it makes a noise which is called sneezing.” *“A telephone is a kind of ]6ng wire with a spout at each end.”— ‘Westminster Gazette. A Good Opportunity. “Your pa's' coming dowun on Satur- day. 1 wonder if that would be a good time to speak to him?” “Yes. When ma tells him what she’s | spent down here he’ll be glad to get rid of the lot of us!"—Comic Cuts. Unfortunately Expressed. Violinist (one of a trio of amateurs who have just obliged with a rather lengthy performance)—Well, we've left off at last! Hostess—Thank you so much! NORTHERN GROCERY CO. Bemidji’s biggest wholesale house and the home of “Cottage Brand Goods.” * This company, with T. J. Burke at its On the Line. “The artist over the.way was boast- ing to me that his work is being hung on the line.” “Humph! So is his wife's” 'head, is fast gaining a leadership in the' Fame is the perfume of beroic deeds. —Socrates. Great Northwest. Here’s your chance to get in on the ground floor of a big producer in the famous Couer D’Alene District of Idaho. Captain J. H. Lanyon, the president of our company and a mining-man of vast experience, is on our property himself - and we are daily receiving encouraging reports from him. High-grade ore is now being taken from our mine and the in- dications are that it will be the equal, if not the superior of any of the great producers in that district. This mine is located in. Wimpey Creek, Lemhi County, Idaho, right in the heart - of the big productive district, surrounded by mines producing 25 per cent copper and much gold. i | ] We need the funds to. carry on the extensive developments necessary to place this mine among the big producers and to obtain the cash, have decided to offer a limited{block of stock at $.50 per share. The par value of this stock is $1, but it will be selling at more than a hundred per cent above par as soon as our developmen * work opens up the enormous bodies of high grade ore our development work has show: to be present. If you want to make money—big money—you will investigate this full and at once! 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Please reserve me........shares of stock in the Dulut}Lemhi Mining Co., for which find enclosed check for §........ beig pay- ment in full on the above number of shares at 50¢ per shar, Cut This Coupon and Mail It in _S1gned. AdArestes sossvs sevsansvinsnnso snssvesumonlios dedh To Us Todaz! TTOWT s 5500 658 aruie sreilsis s ewaisn ivsiees seped ons oows State T R R I IC IR PP [N