The evening world. Newspaper, July 22, 1922, Page 12

: , _ Theatrical Ne WS a By BIDE fifth wife is Newspaper De Wolf Hopper's suing him for divorce headiine. "Twas a gala day in Hopper Tho’ four games the town had lost Number five was going nicely And one man to third had crossed Two were out as Home-Run Cupid Ambled slowly to the plate Let him soak it for the circuit And results would all be great. “Dan will win the game,” they shouted “Smash it, kid, and score that man.” But “Strike one” came from the umpire, As a swift one split the pan On his hands Dan spat while ' grinning. Then he fanned the air once more. Still he smiled and waved assur- ance; “Atta boy!” he heard ‘em roar. Life the pitcher, looked around him On his face there was a sneer. Then he wound up very slowly, And again he hurled the sphere Oh, somewhere the bands are playing, And somewhere the children shout. But there is no joy in Hopper, Mighty Cupid has struck out, Observations. They say Washington ts rrun with flappers. Flaps and yaps, eh? Lew says he told Gerry all about thet $9,600, but he's going to have to Tellegen. William Allen White says he wants to stand up and be counted. There is a possibility he may take the count the other way. Let that wrangle keep up and the country may get a better itea of what's the matter with Kansas, The inventor of a device to raise sunken ships fs in Ludlow Street Jail on an alimony charge. Evident- ly his machine can't handle wrecks in the sea of matrimony. LAUGHING LENA. (Smile when life ts darkest and soon you will yell “Hureka!"'— P. Botts.) Lena knit her brow and turnea to Dearing, the barber. “Why did you come here?” she demanded. ‘To ving, ‘My Bonnle Lies Over the Ocean,’” he replied. “More trouble,” muttered Lady Hotchkiss, slapping her thigh. Grocer Hoskins stepped for watd and bowed. “IT am a very conscientious man,” he said. “May I ask why a}! this hullabaloo?” Archibald could stand ft no longer. He threw his toupee and hit Hoskins in the ear. A » dog in the street barked and It was plain to be seen a crisis wan at hand, “Hatr, you stop that,” said the Grocer. Everybody just had to laugh and the merriment was heard tn the drugstore across the street. Three drunks, hanging over the soda fountain, scowled. “Ob, Hepburn!” one yelled. It was absolutely ebsurd. There was no Hepburn in the store. However, it had ite ef- Good Evening! DUDLEY Oscar De Bummer, of Bronxville, is to-day’s applicant for the velvet- lined oyster-opener. His rhyme describing the girl he would marry follows: T want a girl who'll stroke my brow When I am sad and weary. 1 want a girl who will allow Her man to get near-becry. 1 want a girl who's up to snuff, T couldn't stand a alow one. T want a girl who has some brains. Does anybody know onc? Stone Deaf. Mel Harper says his uncle, Pliny Stone, up at Hog Crossing, has lost his hearing.—Thompson, (N. Y.) Star. fect on the gathering in the Hos- kins grocery and the society ladies went to the door and waved their handkerchiefs. “Oh, Ia, la!” shouted Mrs. P. Kelly Spitzroy, a leader of the 400 Archibald feared there might be a pickle inspector around 80 he sat on the top of the pickle barrel. Hosking was very grate- ful for this. “But.” sald the Grocer to Lena, “you have not discovered who kicked me.” “Now you quit that sponded. The grocer sat cracker box and removed shoe. He wore no socks “That old toe,” he began, “has been!""—— But the soctety ladies had rushed pell-moll into the cellar’ Lena drew her automiatic. (To be continued.) THAT YEARN (For seven yours the writer of this \gol- umn was a telegraph operator and he loves “Jerk Ughtning’ occantonally to-day.) she re down on a one to There's a certain fascination "Bout the sounder an’ the key, In the message room or station Or wherever you may be, That, no matter what's your miasion, When you hear the sounder’s jerk, Is dead sure to set you wishin’ You could grab a root an’ work. It ig hard to understand it— Just a thing you can’t explain. Yet your nerves almost demand it— That you “jerk the juice” again. It may be from force of habit (It’s a force that's never dead) When you sce a key to grab tt An! to tell 'em “Go ahead.” It may be that fame haa found you Or you're now a milllonatre And the people all around you Pay you tribute ev'rywhere. You may be a man of learnin'. If you've pounded brass, b'geq, You will have an awful yearnin’ Ev'ry time you see a key. Slim Kids Bill. Slim Severance, the press agent, used to work for William Allen White, the Kansas editor, who ts claiming the right to free speech and all that. Yesterday Slim sent him a wire, addressed like this: “William Allen White, Emporta, Kas,, If in jail please forward.” Incidentally, if Mr. White is ar rested, the warrant will be issued by his cousin, Roland B. Boynton, who happens to be the County Attorney, AND NOW PERMIT US To inform you that Henry Poor and I. M. Rich are netghbors in Philadelphia and that Poor ts rich and Rich {s poor. cher this Just got in morning, BEAK ay place. and that's what made me late." “What animals have you there?” we asked. “One white billy-goat, one donkey, two |!antic City prior to opening in New one donkey colt, two ponies, from Shady Brook Farm, my Connecticut coun- | Had to feed the animals |#eason by presenting Frances Starr out | bert Osborne, at the Lyceum T! 1 ELL,” said Mark A. Lues-|sinoe she has a long tour booked in “]| "The White Peacock.” MISS STARR BOON. David Belasco will begin His new in “Shore Leave,” a comedy by Hu- natre on Aug. 8 The company will play Asbury Park, Long Branch and At- lee saddle horses, one monkey, four | York. cows, two calves, nine Alredales, aix one Mex!- can hairless dog, one fox terrier, six | wire-haired fox terriers, SIGNS MISS KENNEDY. Madge Kennedy has signed canaries, two parrots, two parakeets, tracts to act under thé management four Persian cats, three Angora cats | o¢ John said Mr and eleven barn cats,” Luescher, “Any mice?" we asked meekly. IT’S SOME NAME. jolden. She will appear tn |& new comedy by Frank Craven @alled |“Hpite Corner.” The play will open Jat Asbury Park onjAug. 7 Gossip. 1 Mme. Petrova'’s new play, which Pauline Frederick's new play is now «phe has just completed, is called “The called * She has not yet\ Harlot’s House.” ying With Fire." Elsie Ferguson is en route home decided whether whe wit! act tn {t, from Europe, She will act In a play t ¥ nd Gossip 7 SATURDAY, JULY 22, 1922 i JOE’S CAR [ATT CANT AGREE WwiTh MY WIFE ON } SOME “THINGS — 1 AIN'T GONNA BUY [ ANOTHER CAR IN A Hurry — (Lt Do SETTER (Ft wart AWHIL = “T’ WAY PRICES ARE Now ,1 FicuRE tT ouT ‘LL BE ABLE TO SAVE Dousy iF 1 wart “Tey'Lt SLASH ANOTHER HUNDRED one Lue wah? ht reo L) Copr. 1922 (N.Y. Eve. World) By Pres Pub. Co. THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY “ MY E WHAT was ALL THAT AWFUL Noise DUCT Now DOWNSTAIRS - DID 1? wHy IT SOUNDED Live A WOUNG RIOT — WHAT WAS IT @ LUTTLE MARY MIXUP | Twisd Mary wourd Go | HOME — SHR Ss BEEN HeRe LONG ENOUGH. Tne Tee HeR SHE 'S USED UP AL ee L { CLEAN CLOTHES AnD Witt HAvE) | TS Go HOME Mary I Guess you on HAVE TS GO BACK TS THe ary- you Haven> ANY More CLEAN chotmtes ~ KATINKA The Evening World Comics SURE (t's A Good CAR .,.BuT I FAIL TO SEE UMERE “hey Gor OFF TO RAISE TH'PRICE ON IT ft Now, if They Were Difficult! ONLY TH’ MAN FROM “THAT Why Be in a Hurry? THey Le BE MEAL STAY on DRY IN A YouR Face Minute. They DonT BorHeR IcAN STAY ANoTHER weex|| ie % “ COLLecTIN’ HIS EASY PAYMENTS # | 2Bupe we MERRY MIxuPs LET THAT onr- TS ost Your NAP HIN, ey KAM NEVER MIND BRNGING Monee Tae cHance wey You dave Been 75 Edwina Doasr BTATOW aA and Checked Out! WELL, T OWE HIM SOME SURE T KNow ‘| MoNGY AND HAVE e ssitt| | CATCH A TRAIN FoR THE HR HUGO GESSIT Coe A et NUTE Re THERE'S A CHECK IN THIS ENVELOPE AN IF YouU'LL DELIVER IT To Hitt ge, TUL BE cd Ye GED! WHAT LUCK! THATS KATINKA'S BOSS! HE FORBIDS ME To CALL AT THE HOUSE AGAIN, BUT WHEN 1 HAND HIM THIS DOUGH HE'LL Be SO HAPPY TLL BE IN SOFT For LiFe! HE'S IN AN Moopd THN YEs, MY Boss Is IN, BUT Don'T DISTURB Hid — WELL, SUST WATCH ME CHEER HIM UP WITH SOME GOOD SX NEWS! ¥ UGLY 5~ se) IF 1 ever LAY MyEves_) | KRAZY ON THE GUY WHO HANDED [ ME THAT SUBPOENA To DELIVER T'LL Go To 2” (THE CHAIR FoR MURDER SKRAX | Fron Apert Ruse ARB SO UNS TRUN: MISS THESIS |) MIGHT ADD HAS BEEN APPROPRIATELY NAMED) © APPEARED SEVBRAL I DISAGREE WITH MR.WELLS, WHO HAS EVIDENTLY BEEN MISINFORMED = T MAINTAIN THE FOSSILS GEE, T BETTER C OVER TO THE STORE WITH THE $16 AN’ GET] THAT RIDING HABIT BEFORE THE GIRLS MAKE ME RETURN THEIR under the Management of Maro Klaw,|he expects to show it on Broadway |night. Among those scheduled to ap- Inc, soon, pear are Eddie Cantor, Ed Wynn, Will Ula Sharon, dancer, has returned] Rex Ingram's production of The} Rogers, Gilda Gray, Frank Tinney, from Europe. Sie will be seen in the | Prisoner of Zenda’ will begin an in-|Raymond Hitchcock, Paul Whiteman next "Greenwich Village Follies.” finite engagement at the Astor|and orchestra, and Olga Steck and Gilda ( nantly denies the Aisrupts homes Louls T. Rog colored show. It a mnmy artist, xtateme indig nt that jaz And that's that A midnight benefit performance, in has another all- [aid of the Save-A-Home Fund will be "Oh, Jovi’ and! given at the Palate Royal Thursday Theatre on July 31 the title role company, from ‘Sue, Dear.’’ The new bill at the Threshold Playhouse will open Tuesday, night for a three weeks’ run, Bill and Barbie Beggs won the ‘we- Lewis Stone has lect your dance’ contest at the Ter-| President could see her baby, he would race Garden Dance Palace. They have | Insist on kissing it. been offered an engagement tn a mu — sical comedy. Preliminaries in a new FOOLISHMENT. contest will be held to-morrow after-| Said Annabetle Jones to her mother noon and Tuesday and Thursday eve-| “7 think, dear, you'd best speak to brother. nings. This morning at 3, A THOUGHT Every mother thinks that if the Ha came home on a spree, | Such actions should not go no futher.” —— PUT IT IN THE ACT. “What's the difference between @ 7 sells watches and the ofhes watches oslls.””